Happy Blessed President's Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ ____,,___, , ,;)"" `-._ ,' ( ( '~^, ( _,,-,---,,._ ~, / ,' , ( |" `, ) (, " ) |""'``, \( ) \ I " ,,-''`, \ \ |__,, ` ( ) |\ o`, ,,-, ~ ) ( | ''--,, =` o ', ( @ ) | | `''-' \ \ ) : ; ,') ` , ', |8 ~, ) (`. `-'^' ( ) . -._,_ .' ` ( . \ __,- ,' ) ) ' `. " ,' Y / `-._,,,-' / \ / n4bis `,, ,,' ```` *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first flaming hot new page is from our friend Geniann. It is sure to give you some chuckles. Amazing how some men seem to be trying to obliterate themselves from the gene pool while at work! Check this one out for some laughs: _____ .' `. .::::::. | | :'`"WW"'`: ___|_______|___ : : ( . ) '. .` `-' `-' ( ) ( (_) ) ) ___ __ ( - ) . . _.--' `. .' `--._ _.-'Yb. .dY`-._ .'H#==|=H#Y=|=H#=.-" YX'`XY "-. '|_H#__|_H#|_|_H#' `X X' ` : | H# | H#| | H: Y Y : :-|-H#--|-H#|-|-H: ` ' : Morons At Work 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork4.html --- ...Such a rib tickling series! Thanks Geniann! Our next too hot to handle new page comes from our friends Linda, Brenda and SharonA. It is sure to spike your aww meter for the day and give you some smiles. Check it out here... z z Z .--. Z Z / _(c\ .-. __ | / / '-; \'-'` `\______ \_\/'/ __/ ) / ) | \--, | \`""`__-/ .'--/ /--------\ \ \\` ///-\/ / /---;-. '-' jgs (________\ \ '-' When Sandman Attacks 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandman2.html --- ...Another one of my favorite series! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->Happy Blessed President's Day! __-----__ ..;;;--'~~~`--;;;.. /;-~IN GOD WE TRUST~-.\ // ,;;;;;;;; \\ .// ;;;;; \ \\ || ;;;;( /.| || || ;;;;;;; _\ || || ';; ;;;;= || ||LIBERTY | ''\;;;;;; || \\ ,| '\ '|><| 1995 // \\ | | \ A // `;.,|. | '\.-'/ ~~;;;,._|___.,-;;;~' ''=--' - Daniel C Au - >Presidential Quotes "You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today." - Abraham Lincoln "No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar." - Abraham Lincoln "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." - Abraham Lincoln "Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution. That must be maintained, for it is the only safeguard of our liberties." - Abraham Lincoln "The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty. Plainly, the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of liberty." - Abraham Lincoln "Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right." - Abraham Lincoln "It would astonish if not amuse the older citizens to learn that I (a strange, friendless, uneducated, penniless boy, working at ten dollars per month) have been put down as the candidate of pride, wealth, and aristocratic family distinction." - Abraham Lincoln "Republicans are for both the man and the dollar, but in case of conflict the man before the dollar." - Abraham Lincoln "Whatever woman may cast her lot with mine, should any ever do so, it is my intention to do all in my power to make her happy and contented; and there is nothing I can imagine that would make me more unhappy than to fail in the effort." - Abraham Lincoln "I go to assume a task more difficult than that which devolved upon Washington. Unless the great God, who assisted him, shall be with me and aid me, I must fail; but if the same omniscient mind and almighty arm that directed and protected him shall guide and support me, I shall not fail - I shall succeed." - Abraham Lincoln "All the rights secured to the citizens under the Constitution are worth nothing, and a mere bubble, except guaranteed to them by an independent and virtuous Judiciary." - Andrew Jackson "The Bible is the rock on which this Republic rests." - Andrew Jackson "The planter, the farmer, the mechanic, and the laborer... form the great body of the people of the United States, they are the bone and sinew of the country men who love liberty and desire nothing but equal rights and equal laws." - Andrew Jackson "We are beginning a new era in our government. I cannot too strongly urge the necessity of a rigid economy and an inflexible determination not to enlarge the income beyond the real necessities of the government." - Andrew Jackson "The Constitution is the guide which I never will abandon." - George Washington "To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace." - George Washington "The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it." - George Washington "It is impossible to reason without arriving at a Supreme Being." - George Washington "If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - Ronald Reagan "We are never defeated unless we give up on God." - Ronald Reagan "We have the duty to protect the life of an unborn child." - Ronald Reagan "A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?" - Ronald Reagan "The trouble with our Liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan ---- _.-`''`-._ ,` `. __________________________ | ,._-'''-. | | Ogladalnosc Serialu | | |,-. ,-.| | | "Plebania" wynosi 0,03% | |/' `-| < i nadal zajebiscie rosnie!| \ (_) / `--------------------------' \ ____ / \ `--` / _.--`/'|`-..-'|\''''`-. ,-' / |`._,' / \ \ | / \,/``\/ \ | \ | | '> |\,/| <' ,' \ | `/^)\ |/`\| / / \ / / / \ | | / | \ / / ,``, \ \ / / | \ ' | | \ \ / / |\_ \ / ,| _.' \ | | |__...-'` | \ / / `. | |````` | \ | / ,`') | |\ | | ,` ,/\ | _,:''`, | ---\,,.-'`---------| _/ ,` , \ ,'--gan---------- |_.------''/ /; ,` |/ `' ```''' >On The Press: "No government ought to be without censors; and where the press is free no one ever will." - Thomas Jefferson "It is the Press which has corrupted our political morals – and it is to the Press we must look for the means of our political regeneration." - Alexander Hamilton "Free speech, free press, free religion, the right of free assembly, yes, the right of petition… well, they are still radical ideas." - Lyndon B. Johnson "Absolute freedom of the press to discuss public questions is a foundation stone of American liberty." - Herbert Hoover __________ |DAILY NEWS| |&&& ======| |=== ======| |=== == %%$| |[_] ======| |=== ===!##| ejm97 |__________| "A free press can, of course, be good or bad, but, most certainly without freedom, the press will never be anything but bad." - Albert Camus "Press freedom does not mean that the press should be above the law. While it’s vital that a free press can tell truth to power, it is equally important that those in power can tell truth to the press." - David Cameron "The theory of the free press is not that the truth will be presented completely or perfectly in any one instance, but that the truth will emerge from free discussion." - E. E. Cummings "The freedom of the press works in such a way that there is not much freedom from it." - Grace Kelly "Remember, the press is a business: Newspapers and magazines are in business to make money – sometimes at the expense of accuracy, fairness and even the truth." - Michael Jackson ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 20 is Cherry Pie Day, Hoodie Hoo Day, Love Your Pet Day, and President's Day February 21 is Card Reading Day February 22 is George Washington's Birthday, Be Humble Day, Walking the Dog Day and International World Thinking Day February 23 International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day and Tennis Day February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day February 25 is Open That Bottle Night and Pistol Patent Day February 26 is Carnival Day, National Pistachio Day, Oscar Night and Tell a Fairy Tale Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _ _ (_\__/(,_ | \ `_////-._ _ _ L_/__ "=> __/`\ (_\__/(,_ |=====;__/___./ | \ `_////-._'-'-'-""""""` J_/___"=> __/`\ jgs |=====;__/___./ '-'-'-"""""""` >Kitchen Table My son had absentmindedly left his sneakers on our kitchen table. "That's disgusting," my husband yelled. "Doesn't he realize that we eat off that table?" Then he went back to work on the car. I cleaned the table and left to do my grocery shopping. When I came home, I couldn't set my bags down anywhere. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen table was a carburetor. -<>- >History Buff As a history buff, I was looking forward to staying in a hotel in Salisbury, England. This hotel dated back to the 13th century. When I arrived, the hotel clerk gave me some bad news -- my room was in the new section. Disappointed, I asked when the "new" section had been built. "In the 1600's," she replied apologetically. -<>- >The Physical During my physical yesterday, my doctor asked me about my daily activity level, and so I described a typical day this way: "Well, yesterday morning, I waded along the edge of a lake, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake." Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be some outdoors man!" "No," I replied, "I'm just a lousy golfer." -<>- >New Grandmother As a new grandmother, I am very protective of my daughter Meredith's baby girl. One cool afternoon I dropped by to see my grandchild. Meredith and a friend had taken little Allison for a walk in her stroller and were just coming up the street. As soon as they reached me, I bent down to admire Allison and, in my fussiest voice, remarked, "Your little head is cold. You should have a hat on." My daughter looked knowingly at her friend and said, "You owe me ten bucks." -<>- >Sharp Knives A man's newly married daughter complained that she didn't have any sharp knives. He bought her some and phoned later and asked how she liked them. "They're terrific!" she replied enthusiastically. "I've already cut myself five times!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) >SMILES ,`. ,'` | _.-. ,` | ,',' / : | ,',' ; \ : / / / \ `.' ( ,' ,'' _ `. ,' (o_) `\ . (,.) _.-- : -..`/( .-'_..- `| .-'\,`. `-._ ; `._ /__ ,':)-.._ _.(:::`. |'\ / /`:::| ,' \ : : : `:| / : | | | \ : | | : :..---.: | | ; ,`._`-.|_ `. | |' ,'._ `. `. |_\ | : /`-. `. `. `. : : \ : __ `. `. `. \ ; \ \ |. / `. \ \ / |\ `..: `. __ \ \ / ' ` .:::::\ `. / \ \,' .::::::::::-..'_..-' SSt Eventually a child begins having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day this happened: Child: "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Mother, with dread: "What is that?" Child: "They're all nocturnal." -------- . \ | / _\|/_ .' ' ' '. ___ _.|.--.--.|.___.--'___`-. .'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'` .'.' ||()|()|| .___..-'.' / \ `----'"` / .-. \ (.'.(___).'.) `.__.-.__.' jgs |_| |_| `.`-'.' `"` Hello, and welcome to the mental health hospital: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0-0-0. If you are bi-polar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up. -------- To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay. "Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?" The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years ago!" -------- "Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "you've got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream I'm lying in bed when all of the sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes." The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?" "I push them away." "I see. What do you want me to do?" The patient implored. "Break my arms." -------- My 4-year-old son asked our baby sitter for help in getting his boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had already worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when my son said, "wrong feet!" She looked and sure enough, they were on the wrong feet. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on -- this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my cousin's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed them in my boots..." ------- When Ma and Pa first arrived on the homestead, Pa installed a bell on the front porch and told Ma, "If trouble comes while I'm out in the field a plowin', then you just ring that bell and I'll come a-runnin'." The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home. When he arrives Ma says, "Them boys are givin me a hard time about doin' the chores and little Sammy done stuck the butter knife in the molasses without lickin’ the blade clean first." Pa says, "You mean I just run all the way in from the fields for this? Next time it had better be important." The next day Pa hears the bell and takes off for home again. When he arrives, his wife is in tears standing over a broke clothes line. "Pa," she says, "some jackass came ridin' through here on a mule and ran right through the clothesline and ruint the washin'." At first Pa was trying to figure out what was ridin' what but then he yells, "I told you not to ring that bell unless something bad was goin' on. If this happens again, I'm gonna whap you with a board." The next day Pa hears the bell again and grabbin' up a board, heads for home. When he arrives Ma is clinging to the porch rail with a spear in her back, the house behind her is in flames and the chickens are laying dead in the front yard, shot full of arrows. Pa looks at Ma and says, "Now THAT'S more like it." -------- Two voices - male and female - obviously on a plane. "I think everyone's asleep, lets go." Sound of steps. "This one's empty ... no-ones looking... you go in first." "It's a bit cramped - let me sit down." "Have you got the condom? Quick - put it on!" Sniff, sniff! "Ah perfume - you think of everything" "This is great....." (long sigh) Static on the loud speaker then a new voice. "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!" -------- After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Why, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?" -------- When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of her preparations, she went to see her doctor to get all of her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she gave him a litany of complaints -- this hurts, that's stiff, I'm tired and slower, etc. He responded, "Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to 100?" The grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone who's 99." -------- Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks. ------- A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do." -------- A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davey, what sound does a cow make?" Davey replied, "It goes 'moo'." "Alice, what sound does a cat make?" Alice said, "It goes 'meow'." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa'." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh... it goes... 'click'!" -------- Brian: If you were trapped on a desert island and could have only one book, what book would you want? Chris: "How to Build a Good Boat." -------- "I just hope it's not Alzheimer's," confessed the gentleman to his doctor. "Maybe there's some kind of memory medicine you can give me. See, I'm getting terribly forgetful; I lose track of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do when I get there. What should I do?" he asked glumly. "Pay me in advance," the doctor promptly suggested. -------- I waited for a very long time for my number to be called at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver's license. As I approached the window the clerk asked how she could help me. I replied, "I need to get a haircut. Can you save my spot for me?" She asked, "Why didn't you get a haircut before your came here?" I responded, "I didn't need one before I got here!" -------- A tough old Guardsman once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium. -------- I told my son, "Will you marry the girl I choose?" He said, "No." I told him, "She is Bill Gate's daughter." He said, "Yes." I called Bill Gates and said, "I want your daughter to marry my son." Bill Gates said, "No". I told Bill Gates, "My son is the CEO of World Bank." Bill Gates said, "Okay". I called the president of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. He said, "No". I told him, "My son is Bill Gate's son-in-law." He said, "Okay." And this is how politics works! --- ...LOL! Great! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) . / \ / . \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / \ \ / / _ _O \ \ / / \ / | \ \ / / / /| \ \ / / //\\ `. . \ \ / / // \\ / \ \ \ / / // || /___\ \ \ / `-----------------' \ `-----------------------' jrei The road by my house was in bad condition after a rough winter. Every day I dodged potholes on the way to work. So I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning. Later, on my way home, I noticed no improvement. But where the construction crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words "Rough Road." -<>- I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a super stud machine! I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him .. but they kind of taste like peppermint. -<>- | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |===| )---( |_|_| |___| |___| \ / ).( [_] \-/ \|/ U hjm ' ' Ball Point Pens When NASA started sending astronauts into space they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, Congress approved a program and NASA scientists spent a decade and over $165 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. The Russians replaced the ball point pen with a pencil. Your taxes are due again in April. --- ...Haha! Oh My! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Melania Trump Just Opened Her Husband’s Rally In A Spectacular Way The First Lady took to the stage and then lead the crowd in reciting the Lord’s Prayer at the beginning of President Trump’s rally in Melbourne, Fla., Saturday.... http://tinyurl.com/hpv6fbe --- ...I want to make a comment here... I hear liberals talk about how sad they are for Melania as they can tell she is being disrespected by Pres. Trump by her body language and by the way he treats her. I find this rather silly. Check this out around 13:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wDP3VH1Mo4 I love watching them together. I've gotten a kick out of how old school Trump is. Being a woman, I notice how a man treats a woman in public. With Pres. Trump, I see him giving her full respect as a man should to his beloved lady. I watched them while waiting to leave in the limo on the steps of the Capitol on inauguration day this year. I found it humorous watching Trump try to open the door for Melania only to be blindsided by an attendant man who promptly cut in front of him to do his job of opening the door for her. Trump went around the limo to the other side to get in next to her instead of going in the same door as her to force her to slide over as I've seen many do when more than one enters a limo. This happened to Trump again when they were at a formal dining room. He went to help seat Melania at the table only to be awkwardly ousted by an attendant cutting in front of him to seat her instead. He seemed rattled as he wasn't sure how to take it but he decided to accept it graciously. I've watched as he pays her total respect when boarding or unboarding a plane or entering or leaving a room. He always gently guides her to go first. He has total respect and manors toward her. So sweet to watch. Next time you see them together, be sure to notice this. It's the same respect and care he gives women as he does with his grandkids... Trump Walks with his Grandkids to Marine One for Boeing 787-10 Rollout https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-d0eCHeQus He's working hard AS HE PROMISED: Trump Puts American Miners Back To Work While Others Protest ‘day without immigrants,’ [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/hfzf93a But this next one REALLY Blessed me! President Trump is getting Congress to fulfill his campaign promises... Sean Hannity Interviews Paul Ryan FULL (02/16/17) BE SURE TO WATCH THIS - it will bless you too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEV94W36Row So just ignore all those nasty negative news media and liberal haters and keep on believing and praying for President Trump and all his supporters through Christ Jesus our Beloved Lord and Savior! With God America Shall be most Blessed and Great Again! -<>- >From BizarreNews: The U.S. Transportation Security Administration said an 80-year-old woman had no idea there was a sword inside her cane until she tried to take it on a plane. TSA regional spokesman Mark Howell said during an event at South Carolina's Myrtle Beach International Airport that an 80-year-old woman recently attempted to bring her cane on a flight she was catching at the airport. He said TSA agents put the cane through the X-ray machine and discovered that twisting and tugging on the handle revealed a hidden sword inside the cane. Howell said the cane had been a gift from the woman's son and she had carried it for years without knowing about its hidden weaponry. "She had no clue it was in there," he said at the event. "It happens a lot, actually," Howell said of sword cane discoveries. "People pick them up at a thrift store and the sword isn't found until we X-ray it." He said the woman surrendered her cane at the TSA checkpoint and caught her flight. *------------------ Feminism ------------------* A pair of North Dakota lawmakers are under fire for defending the state's Blue Laws by arguing Sunday is for wives to serve their husbands, not go shopping. North Dakota's Blue Laws, which require some businesses to open late on Sundays and others, including car dealerships, to remain closed all day, were the subject of a debate on the floor of the state House of Representatives. Rep. Bernie Satrom argued against changing the laws, saying Sundays are for "spending time with your wife, your husband. Making him breakfast, bringing it to him in bed and then after that go take your kids for a walk." Rep. Vernon Laning, R-8th District, offered another reason to keep the Blue Laws on the books. "I don't know about you but my wife has no problem spending everything I earn in 6 and a half days. And I don't think it hurts at all to have a half day off," Laning said. Satrom and Laning have come under fire from the public for their s#xist comments. "It's frustrating personally because when you know those are the people representing you and you don't feel like you're being represented and those kind of backwards ways of thinking are still present, it's really, it's upsetting," Fargo resident Sarah Cramer told local news. Satrom did not respond to a call for comment, but Laning laughed and said he does not understand why anyone was offended by his statement, which he said was meant to be a joke. He suggested people offended by his words might be lacking a sense of humor. *--- It's Hard to Hurt Someone with a Spork ---* First it was finger guns. Now a school in McKees Rocks, Pennsylvania, has banned the use of forks and knives after police were called numerous times on reports of students stabbing one another. Students allegedly used the forks and knives to stab one another during fights, and used bathroom breaks to use drugs. Parents and students complained about the restrictions, saying that they are too extreme, but officials insisted that these measures are necessary for the safety of the children. Over the past several weeks, multiple students were rushed to the hospital after being stabbed by forks or knives. After banning food utensils, officials told the children to eat with their fingers. Officials will cancel the bans once students learn to control themselves, and act in a civil and legal manner. *-- Worker Finds $100,000 Inside 30-year-old TV --* A worker at an Ontario recycling plant opened up an old TV set and made a shocking discovery -- more than $100,000 cash. Rick Deschamps, general manager of Global Electric Electronic Processing, said the TV was brought to the facility over a year ago, but a worker just started disassembling it in January. "She came running up with this security cash box and she goes, 'I found $10,000,'" he said. "We do anywhere from 10,000 to 30,000 televisions a month, so the odds that that TV came at that particular moment with that woman, she opened it up, started dismantling it and finding the cash box -- it's like finding the lottery," the manager said. The cash box also contained documents that helped police track down the rightful owner, a 68-year-old man in Bolsover, Ontario. The man told police the money was inherited from his parents and stashed in the TV for safe- keeping, but he eventually forgot about the cash and gave the TV to a family friend. Meanwhile, I found a dollar seventy-five in change behind the sofa cushions. *-- 'Spider Boy' Sets Contortion World Record --* A 13-year-old boy from Palestine set a world record for his superior skills as a contortionist. Mohammed Alsheikh, known as "Spider Boy," ran his legs around his own body 38 times to claim the Guinness World Record for "Most full body revolutions maintaining a chest stand in one minute." Alsheikh said, "I'm very excited that I have achieved a Guinness World Records title and I managed to exceed the previous record holder who was a lot older than me." He was born with an exceptionally-flexible spine and has competed as an athlete for five years and used his skill to reach the final three in Arab's Got Talent in 2015. "I have a wish and I hope to be a world champion in my sport," Alsheikh said. "My dream for the future is to be famous and well known throughout the world." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) ,,,,, \ e e\ C _\/ |\\, )\_) \_ / _/|/_ _// ,'\ ~ /'-,_/ \ / \_/ / / , | \_._,-" ( < _' | \ \ ', -',-~.-' _/ ) | |// | ' ' ) | | | | ._., - |.,_ // _\-' )___|__|_ '-._ b'ger /____\__\ >Not Yet 70 .... I used to think I was just a regular guy, but . . . I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist. I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist. I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobic. I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business. I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel. I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby. I am older than 65, which makes me a useless old man. I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary. I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist. I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist. I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant. Recently, a woman called me and my friends a “basket of deplorables”. Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . because I'm just not sure who I am anymore! I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking! I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly! Funny . . . it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! As if all this crap wasn't enough to deal with. I'm now afraid to go into either restroom! Quote of the day.... When asked what he thinks about General Mattis being considered for Secretary of Defense, Rob O’Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden) said... “General Mattis has a bear rug in his home, but it's not dead - it's just afraid to move”. -<>- (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro >How was I born? A little boy Goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father Answers, Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I Set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.. We Sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother Agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too Late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: . . . . . . 'You got Male!' --- ...LOL! Thanks Fran! ======================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: .-------. |Jackpot| ____________|_______|____________ | __ __ ___ _____ __ | | / _\ / / /___\/__ \ / _\ | | \ \ / / // // / /\ \\ \ 25| | _\ \/ /___/ \_// / / \/_\ \ []| | \__/\____/\___/ \/ \__/ []| |===_______===_______===_______===| ||*|\_ |*| _____ |*|\_ |*|| ||*|| \ _ |*|| ||*|| \ _ |*|| ||*| \_(_) |*||*BAR*||*| \_(_) |*|| ||*| (_) |*||_____||*| (_) |*|| __ ||*|_______|*|_______|*|_______|*||(__) |===_______===_______===_______===| || ||*| _____ |*|\_ |*| ___ |*|| || ||*|| ||*|| \ _ |*| |_ | |*|| || ||*||*BAR*||*| \_(_) |*| / / |*|| || ||*||_____||*| (_) |*| /_/ |*|| || ||*|_______|*|_______|*|_______|*||_// |===_______===_______===_______===|_/ ||*| ___ |*| | |*| _____ |*|| ||*| |_ | |*| / \ |*|| ||*|| ||*| / / |*| /_ _\ |*||*BAR*||*|| ||*| /_/ |*| O |*||_____||*|| ||*|_______|*|_______|*|_______|*|| |lc=___________________________===| | /___________________________\ | | | | | _| \_______________________/ |_ (_____________________________________) A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars. The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone. Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000. He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips. Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000. He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn't run out. So he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red. He returned to his hotel room. "How did you do?" asked the bride. The groom shrugged and said, "I lost two dollars." -<>- A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray. "And what will your third wish be?" The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?" "You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left." "Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to know what's going on inside their heads." "Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!" -<>- Ben Shapiro, an intensely musical individual, was burdened with a brother-in-law who had the virtue of being a successful businessman, but who was undeniably the least cultured person in town. Ben found this very humiliating and labored to introduce the poor creature to the finer things in life. At last, through much effort, Ben persuaded his brother-in- law to accompany him to a presentation of the opera 'Carmen'. He held his breath, fearing some last minute event would spoil everything, but the day came and Ben and his brother- in-law actually entered the opera house and took their places in an excellent box. To Ben's satisfaction the opera seemed to catch his brother- in-law's fancy at once. He listened open-mouthed and round- eyed, following every move and absorbing every note. Ben was absolutely triumphant when, as they were leaving the theater, his brother-in-law was singing under his breath, "To-ray-a-dor-uh, guard-un! To-ray-a-dor, To-ray-a-dor!" Ben said, beaming, "So you like the Toreador Song, do you?" His brother-in-law replied with excitement, "Of course I do! And as a practical businessman I'm not afraid of making a prediction, either. I'm telling you, that song's going to be a hit!" -<>- As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset." She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference." -<>- Why the Military can't communicate with each other... If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will turn out the lights and lock the door. If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will occupy it and forbid entry to those without a pass. If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they assault with heavy fire, capture the building, fortify it and call for an air strike. If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will negotiate a three year lease with an option to buy. -<>- While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups, plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables away from her, I felt a stinging pain in my hand where I was cut from the shattered debris. I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor. "What happened?" he asked. I said, "Attacked by a flying saucer." -<>- I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The nurse asked for my height and weight and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet." -<>- The wife left a note on the fridge: "It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother." I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold. I wonder what the heck she is talking about? ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _.-'`'-._ .-' _ '-. `-.__ `\_.-' | `-``\| jgs `-.....-A # # >13 Tips for Surviving College 13. Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour. 12. Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life. 11. Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and games until someone loses their 'nads. 10. Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business. 9. If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major. 8. Boring lecture? Call for a 'Not Our President' walk out. 7. College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner. 6. "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges. 5. Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster. 4. Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay. 3. Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people. 2. Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it as "acing Biology." 1. In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal. -<>- _, `(. )- `` )/, '\\ =/= ))) \\ < D/ \\ e_ / \\_ __\ \____ / 7// )/` /\ |(_/ ) (/ ( \ '_/\ \ \ ^\ /\ \__/ \______|<-_\ )_7___\ )_/ /` ( \ / \_ / '\/\ | / , | | | | | | * | | | * | | | * | ' | ``, | | | + + # |___/|___/ ___|/ ?____ /( )\ / | U ) \_ /^/ \^\ _/_'- /__/- /__ \_/_/ \_\ __b'ger__ >Top Ten Signs You Should Get A Divorce Courtesy of Late Night with David Letterman 10. For Valentine's Day he gives you a box of Pop Tarts and says, "If you need me, I'll be at Hooters." 9. The only thing you have in common is your hatred for one another. 8. You ask the guy at Hallmark where the "Controlling B-atch" section is. 7. You keep finding receipts for the guys she's hired to kill you. 6. You still haven't forgiven him for nailing that fat intern when he was a resident. 5. She brings a date to couples counselling. 4. You just married Liza Minnelli. 3. He won't shut up about how great his secretary is in bed. 2. You sleep in separate beds in separate bedrooms in separate houses in separate states. 1. Her pet nickname for you -- "Numb-nuts." -<>- .---------. _ |:: [-=-] | | | |_________| |~| |_| ,;;;;, I\ ,__ ,;;;, __, ///\\\\\ I |{ / . . \ } / " \\|| I | ) ( _ ) ( \_= _/// I |{___'-. .-'___}\___ )_\ I ||~/,'~~~~~,\~~|'---(( \ I \ // \\ | \ \ \ I \/ // | | /-/ I (/ (/ | |/||\ I | | | | I | | |____/ I :-----_o_-----: || | I | /~~|===|~~\ | (( | jgs I || |===| || ||_/ /^\ "~ '^^^' "" ((__| >The Top 13 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO Courtesy of topfive.com 13. Its clever name? "Whatevercare" 12. Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian, and Dr. Demento. 11. Anesthesia? Your choices: Whiskey, a bullet to bite on, or a Louisville Slugger to the head. 10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 9. "Chemotherapy" machine looks suspiciously like a tanning bed. 8. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in. 7. "Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?" 6. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers. 5. "Take two leeches and call me in the morning." 4. No X-ray machine, but each doctor is issued a pair of "X-ray specs." 3. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 2. Covered post-natal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow's doorstep. 1. Radiation treatment for cancer patients consists of a carrying a postcard from Chernobyl in your pocket. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Presidents Before And After!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/presidents.html Inspiring Presidential Quotes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/presidentquotes.html Magnificent President Tree!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/presidenttree.html Secrets Of The Secret Service!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/secrets.html US Presidents And The Queen!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/queenofengland.html Limos In US History!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/limos.html Obama Saga!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/obamasaga.html Obama After White House!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/obamaafterwhitehouse.html Thinkers And Their Desks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html Celebrity Private Jets!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrityjets.html Humor In Politics 14!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics14.html USA Of Crazy Laws!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscrazylaws.html Who Is WE?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoiswe.html Boys To President!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boystopres.html Why Trump 3?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whytrump3.html -<>- >Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Fun Pages http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559 -<>- >Follow Me On StumbleUpon Here: http://tinyurl.com/h6fr26e -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Your Favorite Cartoon Characters Reimagined As Senior Citizens http://tinyurl.com/z6octdd --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! New tire from Michelin... --- ...Thanks Linda! - I've seen this one before - been around since 2010 or something like that... http://www.hoax-slayer.com/see-through-tyres.shtml Here's what I found they are now doing with them... http://tinyurl.com/nsgklcy -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Chicken Cacciatore - Jo Cooks http://tinyurl.com/j8onypj --- ...Looks yummy! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) James Galea at The 2009 Melbourne International Comedy Festival Gala for Oxfam Australia. Best Card Trick Ever: http://tinyurl.com/j93s8c8 Civilian pilots in vintage planes help two families heal during a first-of-its-kind flyover at Arlington National Cemetery. Flight of Honor http://tinyurl.com/z4xwfsm Some folks say pit bulls are vicious killers, but many pit bull owners say it all depends on training. In this video, six adult male pit bulls obey every command this 4-year-old girl gives them. Is this a good idea or a bad idea? In five days, this video got almost 5 million views and generated a lot of controversy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9fZGEW8F90 --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The U.S. Army has officially lifted its ban on soldiers having dreadlocks. This is good news for the Army's elite Hacky Sack Corps." -Conan O'Brien "Taco Bell has announced plans to offer a $600 wedding service at its flagship restaurant in Las Vegas. And this is cool - the burritos are conveniently wrapped in divorce papers." -Seth Meyers "A new report finds that over 55,000 bridges in the U.S. were found to have major structural problems last year. When asked how they're going to fix them, the government was like, 'Eh, we'll cross that gaping hole when we get to it.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Facebook has just added a new tool for finding help during disasters. Unfortunately, then Facebook shows you photos of your friends having a much better time during their disasters." -Conan O'Brien "The Baltimore airport just got a gym where you can work out while you wait for a flight. Finally combining the two things Americans love most - waiting in airports and exercise." -Jimmy Fallon "For Valentine's Day, some KFCs are letting you send a loved one a heart-shaped bucket of fried chicken. And even better, if you really hate someone, you can send them two buckets." -Conan O'Brien "The British tabloid, The Mirror, published a story about a woman who faked her own death to break off a relationship after the man wouldn't leave her alone. Ahh, yes, the old 'It's not you, I'm dead' approach." -Seth Meyers "On Monday in Vermont, a barrel of maple syrup fell off a truck and spilled all over the highway. Luckily, it broad- sided a French toast truck." -Conan O'Brien "Merriam-Webster dictionary added over 1,000 new words today, including the word 'photobomb.' They didn't WANT to add 'photobomb,' but it jumped in at the last second and kinda ruined the dictionary." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************