Happy Blessed Veteran's Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================== .-"""""""-. .' __ \_ / / \/ \ | \_0/\_0/______ |:. .' oo`\ |:. / \ |' ; | | |:.. . \_______ | |::.|' , \,_____\ / |:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;() |::; | | ; ; | | # # # #:::::: /::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #:::::: /'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #:::::: jgs / \ # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # H A P P Y # # # # # # # # # # # # # # V E T E R A N ' S D A Y ! # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # AND A GREAT BIG THANK YOU To ALL Our VETS! >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) >HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press... These adorable pages come from forwards from our friend Viv. Both of these I just could not resist doing. They are So cute! Under His Wings http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wings.html This next one, I wanted the Phil Collins song You'll Be In My Heart from the Tarzan movie to go along with it. For legal reasons, I added the YouTube video to get the song. Scroll down and start this video and then look at the pictures again while it plays. Please Give this time to load :) Best Playmate http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/playmate.html --- ...Thank You Viv for thinking of us and sharing with us! {HUGS} Thank Goodness for YouTube! They add a lot of fun for us. You'll also notice that many of the songs from the Tarzan movie are available here - just pick the one you want to see and hear and click on it after this first one has finished playing. -<>- >Our Page Links For Veteran's Day: Animated for Troops: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html Animated for USA http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html Daily With The Troops http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily.html Daily With The Troops 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily2.html Humor With The Troops http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humor.html Humor With The Troops 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humor2.html Humor With The Troops 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humor3.html Freedom Isn't Free http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html Why My Son? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/why.html ================================================================ >-->From The FunnyBone: What Do You Want For Your Birthday? One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 == __\ bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's __.-"\---|__ father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 / \\_@\-'/ \ mortgage on the house, and you want me to jgs \__/ \__/ buy you a bicycle??? Wait until Christmas!" Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time." Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving. Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were 'pulling out,' and mommy said that 'you should wait because she was coming, too....' "And I'll be danged if I'm gonna be stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!" ===================================================================== +------------- Bizarre Holidays For November --------------+ November 21 is World Hello Day and False Confessions Day November 22 is Start Your Own Country Day November 23 is National Cashew Day November 24 is Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day November 25 is National Parfait Day November 26 is Shopping Reminder Day November 27 is Pins And Needles Day November 28 is Make Your Own Head Day November 29 is Square Dance Day November 30 is Stay At Home Because You're Well Day ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Viv :) Please take a few minutes to visit this web page. I think you will enjoy it. Please click on this link: http://www.andiesisle.com/InYou.html -<>- ___,@ / < ,_ / \ _, ? \`/______\`/ ,_(_). |; (e e) ;| \___ \ \/\ 7 /\/ _\8/_ \/\ \'=='/ | /| /| \ \___)--(_______|//|//| \___ () _____/|/_|/_| / () \ `----' / () \ '-.______.-' jgs _ |_||_| _ (@____) || (____@) \______||______/ Northpole Kitchen http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/ http://www.northpole.com/kitchen/cookbook/ -<>- >Please Be Aware Of This: Within hours of settling the U.S. Presidential election on Tuesday, spam seen worldwide began incorporating the name and image of Barack Obama, according to various security vendors. The U.K.'s Sophos reported 60 percent of all spam seen by the lab on Wednesday was in some way Obama related. One piece of spam alleges to contain a link to video of Obama's acceptance speech. If you follow the video link within the e-mail message you will be taken to a Web page where you'll be asked to update your Adobe Flash Player with a file, adobe_flash9.exe, first. This is not an official Adobe update file and downloading this file may in turn infect your computer with a Trojan. Sophos named the Trojan Mal/Behav-027. F-Secure named it W32/Papras.CL. Sunbelt Software also has a blog about this particular piece of spam. Meanwhile, Websense is reporting a separate threat. An e-mail appears to be an interview with the new president elect. The e-mail features embedded links to a video site that attempts to install a file, BarackObama.exe. Downloading this file may infect your computer with a Trojan. http://news.zdnet.co.uk/security/0,1000000189,39543012,00.htm --- ...Thanks Viv! I got one recently too - it said Thanks for my support of Obama for Pres. and that Obama was setting up a fund of $500,000.00 to help people and I should click on the email link addy if I wanted some. My first thought was 'Land Shark!" So I quickly deleted it. I don't want any money for 'supporting' him anyways! Yeah, right. -<>- >ANIMAL TEST +&- _.-^-._ .--. .-' _ '-. |__| / |_| \| | / \ | /| _____ |\ | | |==|==| | | |---|---|---|---|---| |--|--| | | |---|---|---|---|---| |==|==| | | ^jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is a personality test. Pick your answers instinctively. There are no right or wrong answers. Imagine you are traveling. You are accompanied by a Cow, Horse, Tiger, and Sheep. As you travel along, you will have to abandon one animal at a time. Pick in order which animal you would let go first to last. (Write down your answers, then scroll down...) __.----.___ || || (\(__)/)-'|| ;--` || _||____________||___`(QQ)'___||______;____||_ -||------------||----) (----||-----------||- _||____________||___(o o)___||______;____||_ -||------------||----`--'----||-----------||- || || `|| ||| || || ||jgs ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Cow = Pride _(\_/) ,((((^`\ (((( (6 \ ,((((( , \ ,,,_ ,((((( /"._ ,`, ((((\\ ,... ,(((( / `-.-' ))) ;' `"'"'""(((( ( ((( / ((( \ )) | | (( | . ' | )) \ _ ' `t ,.') ( | y;- -,-""'"-.\ \/ ) / ./ ) / `\ \ |./ ( ( / /' || \\ //'| jgs || \\ _//'|| || )) |_/ || \_\ |_/ || `'" \_\ Horse = Love ___......----:'"":--....(\ .-':'"": : : : : : :.(1\.`-. .'`. `. : : : : : : : : : : .'; :-`. : . : : `. : : :. : :`.`. a; : ;-. `-.-._. : : : ::. .' `. `., = ; :-:.` .-. _-., : : : ::,.'.-' ;-. ,'''" .'.' ;`. .-' `-.: : : : :;.-'.-.' `-' :. .'.'.-' .'`-.' -._;..:---'''"~;._.-; :`--'.' : :' ;`-.; :.`.-'`. `'"` : : ;`.; :=; `.-'`. jgs : '. : ; :-: `._-`. `'"' `. `. `--' `._; `'"' Tiger = Money {^--^}.-._._.---.__.-; || || {6 6 }.')' ( ) ).-` || _||____________||___( v )._('.) ( .' )____||_ -||------------||----`..''(.' ( ) .)----||- _||____________||______#`(.'( . ( (',)_____||_ -||------------||-------'\_.).(_.). )------||- || || `W W W W ||jgs ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Sheep = Family --- ...Thank You Viv! This I'd seen before, but had forgotten it. I still think it was devised by sheepherders during the old cattle vs sheep days! "giggles" -<>- _________ / ;~~~~~~`\ ____/ |________\________ / : `\ |> .--.:^^ .--. _<) {____/ .. \___________/ .. \____} \ '' / \ '' / jgs '--' '--' >IF MY BODY WERE A CAR... thoughts from Maxine! If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer Model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump Into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it -- Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh..... Either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires !!! --- ...LOL! Thanks Viv! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Becky :) !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ >Billy Graham's Prayer For Our Nation (Never has this been more needed than now!) THIS MAN OF GOD SURE HAS A GOOD VIEW OF WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY! 'Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and call ed it choi ce. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free. Amen!' Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, 'The Rest of the Story,' and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called 'One nation under God.' If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends. 'If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.' Think about this: If you forward this prayer to everyone on your e-mail list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world. (It's worth a try!) One Nation Under God --- ...Thanks Becky. This one is an old one but a good one! With Obama as our President our country needs all the help it can get! Please be sure to Pray with me: !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ Dear God Almighty, please bless and fully protect Obama, his family and our VP Biden. Give Barack Obama wisdom, knowledge and understanding to do the very best he can for the safety, prosperity and good of the United States and all its people. May God's Will Be done for America through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen! ==================================================================== >-->A Classic From Our Friends Del, Casey, & MrWu :) __.------. (__ ___ ) .)e )\ / /_.------ _/_ _/ __.' / ' `-.__ / <.--' `\ / \ \c | / / ) GoT x \ | /\ |c / \.- \ \__/ ) /( ( \ <>'\ / _/ _\- `-. \/_|_ /<> / /--/,-\ _ \ <>.`. \/`--\_._) - / `-/\ `.\ / `. / ) `\ \ \ \___/----' | / `( ___________ \ ./\_ _ \ ______________ / | ) '| __________________ | / \ \ ___________a:f / | |____.) / \ a88a\___/88888a. \_ :)8888888888888888888a. /` `-----' `Y88888888888888888 \____| `88888888888P' A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, 'Jesus is watching you.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.' -<>- ^ ,| ]. /] ] ] ]\ /] ] ] ] ] ]\ |\ | ] ] ] ] ] ] ] /| | |\ /] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]\ /| | | | ||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]|| | | |U|U||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]||U|U| |"\| |||U]U]U]U]U]U]U]U]U]|| |/"| | \ ||| ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ] ]|| / | ||\ \||| ]_]-'""@""`-|_] ]||/ /|| || L |`\ , |_____| . /'| T || || |\ | |{ `"""""' }| | /| || |`"""'| | \ / | |`"""'| `"""""[__| |_______| |__]"""""' `-.|"""""""|.-' Ojo'98 >[An Et-Ahem! ] Gotta Love 80 year old women... Better than a Flu Shot! The church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. She sat down facing her old Hammond organ, when the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water Floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with the tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, to keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. 'Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.' If you don't send this to five GOOD friends Right away There will be five fewer people smiling in the world . -<>- You have to read this one…..read the whole way down… .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | |/ ! | | (/ | | ! | . | | ! | | | | ! |~~~~' >[An Et-Ahem!] Mastercard Wedding You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent Wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank Everyone for coming, many from Long distances, to support them At their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone A special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride making love with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious Of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, 'F---you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, 'F--- you!' Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.' He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the Bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' Commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion: $3,000 Deluxe two-week Honeymoon accommodations In Maui: $8,500. The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride getting it on with the best man: Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD A Mastercard Wedding 'Life isn't like a bowl Of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of Jalapenos-- what you do today, just might burn your behind tomorrow......' --- ...Thanks Del! Wow - what goes around comes around - - that one really came around! LOL! Good Ones! =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Lorraine :) She sent us a forward of an adorable page I did up for InspiredBuffalo. You can visit it here: .-'';'-. ,' <_,-.`. /) ,--,_>\_\ |' ( \_ | |_ `-. / | \`-. ; _(`/ `.( \/ ,' hjw `-....-' Staying Safe In This World http://www.inspiredbuffalo.com/buffalo/stayingsafe.html I checked this out and Nancy hasn't fixed the display of it yet. I'll have to email her again. I had sent her corrections for this one and 3 others that I found worked fine in the Netscape and Foxfire browsers but not in the IE. I think she was on vacation at the time and might of missed it so I've sent it to her again. --- ...Thank You Lorraine for this sweet reminder! ====================================================================== >-->In The Wordly News: >From CCA: Pro-Family Election Results Show America Remains a Center-Right Country Washington D.C. – Despite what some have suggested, the 2008 general elections were not a repudiation of pro-family values. In key races and constitutional amendments across America, when voters were presented with well defined choices, pro-family values won many clear victories. Christian Coalition distributed millions of voter guides in targeted states and races all across America, and those voter guides were clearly instrumental in providing voters with critical information regarding candidate’s positions on key faith and family issues. In a historic repudiation of the decision by four judicial tyrants to legalize homosexual "marriages" earlier this year, California voters passed an amendment to their constitution defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman. Voters in Florida and Arizona overwhelmingly outlawed homosexual "marriages" in their state constitutions as well, becoming the 29th and 30th states to do so (with an national approval average of seventy percent). This is obvious evidence that America remains a culturally center-right country. The President of the Christian Coalition of America, Roberta Combs said: "Although we are disappointed that the executive branch and legislative branch will be controlled by pro-abortion leadership, we are encouraged with the number of pro-family and pro-life Members of Congress from both sides of the aisle that were either re-elected or elected for the first time. We were also encouraged by the huge victories of many pro-family measures that were on the ballot, especially the passage of state constitutional amendments upholding traditional marriage in California, Florida and Arizona." Besides the passage of marriage amendments, Arkansas voters banned homosexual couples from adopting children or becoming foster parents; Nebraska voters ended affirmative action; and even in liberal San Francisco, a measure to legalize prostitution was overwhelmingly defeated. -<>- >From Liberty Counsel * * * Liberty Counsel Breaking News ACLU and LAMBDA just filed suit to nullify California's marriage amendment which passed last week. We filed a motion in court TODAY to stop this travesty. ACLU, Lambda Legal and other anti-marriage groups have filed three lawsuits asking the California Supreme Court to strike down the newly passed Marriage Amendment as unconstitutional... I am outraged! The people of California clearly chose to support the marriage amendment - despite the overwhelming pressure from liberal groups, California’s own government and deep pocket donors like Apple Computer. Now, the ACLU is saying that the people of California have no right to amend their own Constitution! That’s because radical groups like the ACLU want the final determination as to what the Constitution says! + + Liberty Counsel Files Motion To Intervene -<>- >From Grassfire: Obama shuts down oil and gas exploration News has leaked that Barack Obama has been working for "months" with four-dozen advisors on a plan to implement his leftist agenda starting on Day One. We now know that Obama will sign Executive Orders almost immediately to shut down oil and gas exploration and push radical global warming policies! Grassfire.org is organizing a nationwide campaign to ban together and RESIST President-elect Obama’s radical agenda. Please go here to Join the Resistance: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?u=13239&RID=10702139 We cannot wait until next year. Obama's team has already been working for MONTHS on its plan. Tens of thousands have already joined the Resistance, but I need your help. Please Join the Resistance. And then invite your friends. Steve Elliott, President Grassfire.org -<>- // ww_ ___./// o__ `._.-''''' // |/ \ , / // \ ``,,,' _// `-. \--' .'`. \_/_/ `.,' \\\\ ,,','` AsH --Farmer blames balloons for hen deaths ----------- HEREFORD, England - A farmer in England's Herefordshire county says low-flying hot-air balloons caused 30 of her hens to die after their eggs exploded inside of them. Abbi Vincent-Lloyd said the stress of seeing gigantic hot-air balloons over their heads led the hens to run for shelter in a panicked state that caused them to bump into one another and rupture the eggs inside of them, The Daily Telegraph reported Wednesday. Vincent-Lloyd said post- mortems performed on the hens found they died of peritonitis, an infection caused by their eggs bursting inside their bodies. "I had lost about 15 birds when I decided to have the vet do a post mortem on two of them," the farmer said. "I told the vet about the hot-air balloons and jets flying low over the farm and straight away he said that was the cause." "As soon as the gas is released to raise the balloon they go absolutely crazy," she said. "It is absolute chaos, when they go into anything and that causes the egg to explode inside them. The fragments of the egg and its contents then infect them and then they die from it -- it's a horrible way to go." -- Boy charged after chip bag ripped ------------- STOCKHOLM, Sweden - Swedish prosecutors have brought charges against a 15-year-old boy accused of ripping another boy's bag of chips. The teenager allegedly tore open the bag, spilling its contents onto the ground, while trying to snatch the chips out of the other boy's hands, The Local reported Wednesday. Authorities said the owner of the chips then made a comment that led a 14-year-old friend of a suspect to punch and kick the alleged victim. However, the accused attacker is too young to be charged under Swedish law. The 15-year-old was charged with unlawful dispossession due to the spilled chips and could face up to six months in prison if he is convicted. Prosecutors said the boy's trial will also deal with charges of vandalism and theft of a pack of cigarettes in two separate incidents. -- Applicants' parents resort to sabotage --------- CHICAGO - A high school guidance counselor in New York says sabotaging competitors has become one of the newest tools for gaining entrance to college. Sue Moller of Long Island received dozens of replies when she asked whether parents were writing letters about the bad conduct of other high school students to boost the admission chances of their child, the Chicago Tribune reported Monday. "This is a lot deeper than I thought it was when I posted this silly question," Moller said. "I can't believe how widespread it is." The sabotage letters mailed to college admissions offices typically arrive without a signature and accuse rival applicants of such things as cheating on exams or underage drinking. "People think if they disadvantage one student, it may advantage theirs," said Stacey Kostell, director of undergraduate admission for the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. At Northwestern University, one sabotage letter received by the admissions office was written in crayon so it couldn't be traced. .--""--.___.._ ( <__> ) `-. |`--..--'| <| | :| / | :|--""-./ `.__ __;' o!O "" -- Man charged with toilet paper assault ---------- NEW YORK - A New York man was charged with assault after allegedly hitting his girlfriend in the eye with a roll of toilet paper, prosecutors say. Richard Bigonzi, 38, allegedly attacked Marit Ekeland, 62, with the toilet paper Sunday in the apartment they share, the New York Post reported Monday. "She was drunk," Bigonzi told police. "I threw her wine out the window. I'm not saying whether I threw the toilet paper." Ekeland said Bigonzi is after her money. "I'm where he gets his money," she said. "I don't have any children. He wants to inherit all my wealth." -- Dogs predicted U.S. election outcome ----------- COLD SPRING HARBOR, N.Y. - Organizers of a Cold Spring Harbor, N.Y., costume party for dogs and their owners said canines predicted the outcome of the U.S. presidential election. The organizers of Howl-ween, also known as Corky's Canine Costume Party, said hundreds of dogs participated in the "Bark the Vote" election and cast ballots in the form of barking for Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain. Corky Nightingale, who oversaw the barking election, said the dogs made the same choice that their human counterparts would make a few days later -- the vote went to President-elect Baraack Obama. "We feel it was a fair contest between the two candidates. Voter turnout was unprecedented," Nightingale said. "We patiently awaited results this evening to see if our votes had any influence on the final outcome of the election. We are proud to know our barks were heard throughout the nation," she continued. Howl-ween is held annually to raise funds for rescue dogs and other canine causes. This year's party also included a costume parade through the town of Cold Spring Harbor. --- ...Many unhappy at the outcome took their revenge! Check out this photo from our friend Viv! I uploaded this image to our group photos here: http://tinyurl.com/5vanmo LOL! Thanks Viv! =========================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: >Quotes from Paul Newman: People stay married because they want to, not because the doors are locked. I picture my epitaph: "Here lies Paul Newman, who died a failure because his eyes turned brown". I've repeatedly said that for people with as little in common as Joanne and myself, we have an uncommonly good marriage. We are actors. We make pictures and that's about all we have in common. Maybe that's enough. Wives shouldn't feel obligated to accompany their husbands to a ball game, husbands do look a bit silly attending morning coffee breaks with the neighborhood wives when most men are out at work. Husbands and wives should have separate interests, cultivate different sets of friends and not impose on the other. You can't spend a lifetime breathing down each other's necks. You only grow when you are alone. -<>- RANDOM FACTS • Kayaking is a required subject in Greenland’s schools. • The first tennis balls were stuffed with human hair. • In the 1880s, waterskiing was called plank gliding. • Average number of days each year when no major league sports are played: five. • Each year, about three people in the United States are killed by falling soccer goalposts. -<>- Trivia: (No Springfield?) 7 Most Common U.S. Town Names Fairview Midway Oak Grove Franklin Riverside Centerville Mount Pleasant -<>- >Amazing Home Remedies [NOT!! - for blondes!] Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. So Use the Duct Tape! :) ==================================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: Top Ten Reasons to Ask Your Boss For A Raise 10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter. 9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance. 8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV thrift stores. 7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps. 6. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for your Easter ham. 5. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery coupons. 4. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, "Charity Case -- Return To Sender." 3. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young America, Minnesota. 2. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold and it goes into shock. 1. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall. -<>- Baptism Renewal By Tom Henderson Scripture Reference: Matthew 3:13-17 Years and years ago, as part of a graduate school project, I had to perform a solo, hour long impersonation show of humorist Will Rogers. In a word – I was terrible. But I learned a lot about a great man. You may remember that Will Rogers lived during the Great Depression and was born in Oklahoma. He was partially Indian. Rogers was part of a circus rodeo and would do amazing rope tricks, like throw three ropes at a passing horse and rider and lasso the head of the horse, the rider and the tail – all at the same time. When a rope trick failed, he frequently made some wisecrack. He became more popular for his humor than his tricks. He went on to become the most popular and recognized American in the 30's. He was a political satirist. One line was, "the way the Republicans are running the country, there's not much hope for the rest of us. But I want to admit to you that I belong to no organized political party – I am a Democrat". Rogers was tragically killed in Alaska while flying with Wiley Post in 1935. It stunned the world. Rogers used to tell the story about the time he went to get a passport and the lady at the passport office asked for his birth certificate. "I said, ma'am I have no birth certificate, what shall I do?" She said, "In that case, you will need to produce an affidavit of at least three people who can attest to your birth." "So I told the lady, well, I was born mostly Indian, I had lived in the United States all of my life. My ancestors were not on the Mayflower, but we met the boat, my parents, bless their souls were dead, the doc that delivered me is no more, here I was, an American citizen, but I could not think of a single living person who had witnessed the historical event of my birth. I had heard the evangelist Billy Sunday preached that to enter the Kingdom of God you must be born again. I had never taken him so literally until then. Plus I wasn't entering the Kingdom of God, I was trying to go to Europe." Jesus was baptized in recognition of his acceptance of faith. We often refer to this as being born again – this time into the Holy Spirit. So how does one become born again? The material I've read suggests the following steps: Confession, Repentance, Conversion and Faith. Fred DeVore Courtesy www.matthewsumc.org >From the CCEC Story List. To Subscribe send a note to CCECstorylist-subscribe@MyInJesus.com with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line. ================================================================ >-->Top 10 Time-Traveling Films (Not According To Me) 10. "Somewhere in Time" (1980) Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour 9. "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" (1988) Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves 8. "The Final Countdown" (1980) Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen 7. "Army of Darkness" (1992) Bruce Campbell 6. "Planet of the Apes" (1968) Charlton Heston 5. "12 Monkeys" (1995) Bruce Willis, Madeleine Stowe, and Brad Pitt 4. "The Time Machine" (1960) Rod Taylor 3. "Back to the Future" trilogy (1985-1990) Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd 2. "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" (1986) 1. "Time After Time" (1979) Malcolm McDowell, David Warner, and Mary Steenburgen Runner Ups: 1984-2003 "The Terminator" series 1986 "Flight of the Navigator" 2005 "The Jacket" 2004 "The Butterfly Effect" 1989 "Millennium" 2001 "Donnie Darko" =========================================================== >-->From The Jokester: (, ,) | *_ | \\ (('^, // \`()) _.'/ ` )__)-' \ ) .__)(_.'___________ \_ _/_ ,.__,-_,-' \`-' \' ), ( ) \ , ejm '| \/ The Ballerina This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?" The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender! I want to buy that ballerina a drink!" The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender! I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!" After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?" The drunk replies, "Sir! In my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!" ================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: We invited some old friends to help celebrate my 40th birth- day. My husband went out to buy a gift, and he saw some cute little music boxes. A blue one was playing "Happy Birthday to You." Thinking they were all the same, he picked up a red one and asked the clerk to have it gift-wrapped. When we sat down to dinner, he gave it to me, asked me to open it and— surprise—out came the tune to "The old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be." -<>- An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old General sends for his trusty Indian Scout. "Scout, you must use all your thirty years of skills for me and try to estimate the sort of army we are up against here." The trusty Indian Scout lays down and puts his ear to the ground. "Large war party," he says, "maybe three hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on white stallions. Many, many guns! Medicine man also with them." "Good grief!" exclaims the General, "you can tell all of that just by listening to the ground?" "NO," replied the Indian. "I can see under the gate." -<>- There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn't happy there. He wanted to go in business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough that he could quit and start his own business. About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located. I stopped by for a visit. "Hey John, I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business." "Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I'm getting to where I only have to work half a day." "Wow, that's pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself." "Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn't matter which twelve hours you work." -<>- .===. _ _ / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \ \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ | ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ ) /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) As I was dropping off my son at his daycare the other day, I overheard some of the other children talking about their siblings. "My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one little boy. "My sister takes gymnastics," said another. Not to be outdone, the littlest child in the group piped up. "My sister takes antibiotics!" -<>- A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside." -<>- An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon he was asked to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address was to be translated by an interpreter sentence by sentence. "I want you to know," he began, "I'm tickled to death to be asked here today." A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter's face. "This poor man," he said in Chinese, "Scratches him- self until he dies, only to be with you today." ============================================================ >-->Fun Places To Net Visit :) >From TheMouth: OVERHEARD IN THE OFFICE http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/ 20 QUESTIONS http://www.20q.net/index.html ROCKSTAR NAME http://rockstarname.com/ >From LynnLynn Links: Melva/Remembering Our Veterans http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Holiday2/Rem.html God Bless America Again. http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML7/GodBlessAmericaAgain.html John w/ Veterans Day Tribute http://heavens-gates.com/veterans/ Veteran's Day Via Carol http://www.adreamandasmile.com/Occ/Veterans_Day.html Melva/Soldiers Last Wish http://silverandgoldandthee.net/LWMap/Insp_files/C.html Battle Hymn Via Cookie http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Battle%20Hymn/index.htm Vietnam Terminology http://www.rjsmith.com/glossary.html Apples & More http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/apples/ Wrong Gift http://www.buffaloschips.com/72210.htm Illiterate Club http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22736.htm Induced Labor http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22735.htm Dorks http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22734.htm Hama Rat http://www.buffaloschips.com/72211.htm x352 http://www.buffaloschips.com/72212.htm Yeah Right http://www.buffaloschips.com/72213.htm Your Side Of The family http://www.buffaloschips.com/72214.htm Lake Delton Break To WI River http://www.buffaloschips.com/72215.htm Getting Older http://buffalosjokes.com/1137.htm Men Are Always Whining http://buffalosjokes.com/1136.htm Power Surges http://buffalosjokes.com/1135.htm Tap Dancer http://buffalosjokes.com/01020506.htm Hands Up http://buffalosjokes.com/index.html Inmate Visit http://buffalosjokes.com/01020505.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I used to be With IT. But then they changed what IT was. Now what I'm with isn't IT, and what's IT seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to YOU." --Abe Simpson, The Simpsons "In the past, your dumbness has gotten in the way of a few things that I really wanted to do: The book club. Theater. Having conversations." --Patricia Heaton "The Chicago Transit Authority has announced that there will be new cars on the L-Train ensuring riders of a quieter ride. This will mean that the only people in the city that won't be able to hear the L will be the people inside riding it." -Conan O'Brien "Here's a great story: A couple was waiting in line at a Taco Bell and they were having sex in their van. When I heard about the couple getting arrested, I thought, "Oh, Britney, please get some help.'" -Dave Letterman "An elementary school in Santa Monica is banning tag from the playground. They're afraid that the game could affect children's self esteem. This also could prevent the spread of 'kooties'." -Jay Leno "In Kenya, thousands of expectant mothers are planning to name their babies after Barack Obama. The Kenyans are relieved Obama won because in Swahili, John McCain means 'your goat just ate my daughter.'" -Conan O'Brien "According to AP, Ralph Nader got less than 1 percent of the vote. How embarrassing is that? He is actually lost to low fat milk." -Jay Leno "Today at his first press conference as president-elect, Barack Obama said America will succeed if we can put aside partisanship and politics. In other words, we're totally screwed." - Conan O'Brien "Scientists are saying that the testosterone patch could help women increase their sex drive. Unfortunately, the beard that comes with it is kind of a turn off." - Craig Ferguson "The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised." - George F. Will >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************