Happy Blessed Veterans Day! ... :) Shangy!
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================
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
.-"""""""-.
.' __ \_
/ / \/ \
| \_0/\_0/______
|:. .' oo`\
|:. / \
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|:.. . \_______ |
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|:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;()
|::; | | ; ; | | # # # #::::::
/::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #::::::
/'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #::::::
jgs / \ # # # #::::::
# # # # # # #
H A P P Y # # # # # # #
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V E T E R A N ' S D A Y # # # # # # #
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>-->Happy Blessed Veterans Day!
Presidential Proclamation on Veterans Day, 2019:
"On November 11, Americans commemorate the service, sacrifice, and
immeasurable contributions of our Nation’s veterans who have proudly
worn our country’s uniform to defend and preserve our precious
liberty. As we celebrate Veterans Day, we pause to recognize the
brave men and women who have fearlessly and faithfully worked to
defend the United States and our freedom. Their devotion to duty
and patriotism deserves the respect and admiration of our grateful
Nation each and every day. We are forever thankful for the many
heroes among us who have bravely fought around the world to protect
us all."
https://tinyurl.com/y4a3gcrd
Bleed American
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bleed.html
Dog Warriors
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html
The Blue Angels
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blueangels.html
Fighter Aircraft
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fighteraircraft.html
Final Toast
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/finaltoast.html
Lest We Forget
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lestweforget.html
Kilroy Was Here
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html
Military Dogs
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/militarydogs.html
Proud Of Our Troops
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops.html
Normandy Then/Now
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/normandy2.html
FULL 9/11 And Troop Index
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html
Veterans Day Discounts, Find Battle Buddies, Free Veteran Programs
from Emory Healthcare
https://tinyurl.com/y6op8sz8
Text Messages and VA Appointments - Receive reminders via VEText
Life is busy, and sometimes, little things can fall off the radar,
like remembering an upcoming VA appointment. The good news is that
VA reminds Veterans of their appointments by text. If you don’t
already, you can start receiving appointment reminders via VEText
today. Learn more.
https://tinyurl.com/y3otgx58
Treating PTSD: Stay Connected
November is home to many holidays, but only one honors you for
serving this great country. That holiday is Veterans Day. This
November, we would like to bring awareness to something that many
Veterans suffer from: PTSD. Learn more.
https://tinyurl.com/y5anb3wy
FULL 'My HealtheVet' Update | November 6, 2019:
https://tinyurl.com/yxnn27ge
Pres. Trump Salutes Our Vets:
https://video.foxnews.com/v/6102637599001/
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ejm )\ (
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* A Big Thank You To Our Vets! May God Bless All Our Veterans!
-<>-
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This red hot new page is from our friends Karen and Geniann.
It is sure to give you plenty of Smiles and tickle your funny
bone. There's plenty of imagination in use! Be sure to check
it out here...
,-. Life keeps rolling along......
( O )` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ - . _ . - ~ ` ~ -
|`-'| : : : : : : : :
| | : : : : : : : :
`-'` ~ - . _'. - ~ ` ~ - .'_ . - ~ ` ~ -
cww
Creative Bathroom Signs!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/toiletsigns.html
---
...A fun one for sure! Thanks Ladies!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
\\/),
,'.' /,
(_)- / /,
/\_/ |__..--, *
(\ _ /\ \ \ / ).'
\(-'./ / (_ //
\\ \,'--'\_(
)(_/ )_/ )_)
mrf (_,' (_.'(_.'
A Zebra arrives on a farm. The first animal she meets is a cow.
"Whats your job?" she asks.
"My job is to give milk," the cow replies.
The next animal she meets is a chicken. "Whats your job," she asks.
"My job is to lay eggs," the chicken answers.
The third animal she meets is a stallion. "Whats your job?" she asks.
The stallion replies, "Just take off those stripy pajamas and I'll
show you."
-<>-
A witness is testifying before the court, and the prosecuting attorney
is asking him questions.
"You witnessed the robbery, sir?"
"Yes."
"What was stolen?"
"Two televisions."
"Did you see the thieves?"
"Yes."
"Could you identify them?"
"Yes."
"Are the two men who stole the televisions in this courtroom?"
At this point, the two defendants raised their hands.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
November 11 is Veteran's Day and World Origami Day
November 12 is Chicken Soup for the Soul Day and Young Readers Day
November 13 is Caregiver Appreciation Day, National Indian Pudding
Day, Sadie Hawkins Day and World Kindness Day
November 14 is Hindu Diwali Day, Operating Room Nurse Day and
World Diabetes Day
November 15 is America Recycles Day, Clean Your Refrigerator Day
and National Philanthropy Day
November 16 is Button Day, Have a Party With Your Bear Day,
International Tolerance Day and National Fast Food Day
November 17 is Electronic Greeting Card Day, Homemade Bread Day,
Take A Hike Day and World Peace Day
=======================================================
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>-->From GoodCleanFun:
There are a small handful of times during the year when I switch to a
serious topic. Veteran's Day is one of those occasions that is very
important to me. In the United States, Veteran's Day is November 11th
(this is also Remembrance Day in Canada). In the early 1970's,
Veteran's Day became a "movable" holiday -- the fourth Monday of
October. In 1978, at the urging of veteran's groups who realized the
sanctity of the date, Congress returned Veteran's Day to November
11th. Please remember that this day is not to honor war, but rather
to honor the sacrifice made by others for our freedom.
What we call Veteran's Day is the anniversary of the signing of the
Armistice in the Forest of Campiegne by the Allies and the Germans in
1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month). This
signified the end of World War I and was originally known as
Armistice Day. President Woodrow Wilson signed the Congressional
Resolution on Nov. 11, 1919, the first Armistice Day.
However, after World War II, the day began to lose meaning and since
there were many other veterans to consider, the decision was made to
change November 11th to honor all those who fought in American wars.
The United States Congress passed an act to change the name to
Veteran's Day and in 1954 President Dwight Eisenhower signed the act.
With that in mind, I would like to say "thank you" to all the men and
women with whom I served, and to especially remember those who aren't
with us anymore. As a former Hospital Corpsman, I wish a heartfelt
"Semper Fi" to all my Marine friends.
- Tom Ellsworth
(HM2 USN 1965-69)
-------------------------------------
This year I want to share a piece that has been in my computer files
for many years, but one which I have not used until now.
\_/
--(_)-- .
/ \ /_\
|Q|
.-----' '-----. __
/____[SCHOOL]___\ ()))
| [] .-.-. [] | (((())
..|____|_|_|____|..................................)(... ldb
>The Desks
Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha
Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in
Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten.
On the first day of school, with the permission of the school
superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she
removed all of the desks from her classroom. When the first period
kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks.
Looking around, confused, they asked, "Ms. Cothren, where're our
desks?"
She replied, "You can't have a desk until you tell me what you have
done to earn the right to sit at a desk."
They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."
"No," she said.
"Maybe it's our behavior."
She told them, "No, it's not even your behavior."
And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third
period. Still no desks in the classroom.
By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms.
Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken
all the desks out of her room.
The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found
seats on the floor of the deskless classroom.
Martha Cothren said, "Throughout the day no one has been able to tell
me just what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks
that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell
you."
At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom
and opened it. Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniform,
walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets
began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over
and stand alongside the wall.
By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those
kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their
lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.
Martha said, "You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These
heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it's
up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be
good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you
could have the freedom to get an education. Don't you ever forget it."
By the way, this is a true story. If you can read this, thank a
teacher. If you read it in English, thank a veteran.
Yes, it really is a true story ...
http://www.snopes.com/glurge/nodesks.asp
Please do not pass around too much. if Congress or the Courts hear
about it, they will find a way to outlaw it.
-----------------------------
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ejm / \ \
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As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer:
"Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home
or overseas. Hold them in Your loving hands and protect them as they
protect us. Also remember their families back at home. They sacrifice
by being away from their loved ones."
Let's all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before
in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.
Remember, we live in the land of the free because of the brave.
(Heroes don't wear capes; heroes wear dog tags.)
-<>-
/'\
/
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c-' /
/'-._ ,____,' .-'''-.
.-'.// \ '-;-========,"-,' '
,` /, \_//\ ,/ ( '- *) )
( ./ ) {,}========'===='- ' ,
, , \/ ', -muse.
_____'-.-`_______________________'-..-'____
>Late for Supper
A little girl was late coming home for supper. Her mother made the
expected irate parent's demand to know where she had been. The little
girl replied that she had stopped to help her friend, whose bicycle
was broken in a fall.
"But you don't know anything about fixing bicycles," her mother
responded.
"I know that," the girl said. "I just stopped to help her cry."
-<>-
>Camping
It was the first camping experience for Jed.
As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods.
In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and
dishevelled.
"What happened?" asked a fellow camper.
"I was chased by a black snake!" cried the frightened Jed.
The camper laughed and retorted, "A black snake isn't dangerous."
"Listen," groaned Jed, "He is if he can make you jump off a fifty-
foot cliff!"
-<>-
>New Vacuum
I had been complaining for months about my noisy old upright vacuum
cleaner. When it finally bit the dust, I happily ran out and bought
the snappy-looking red canister vacuum that I'd had my eye on for
some time.
I really wasn't aware of how much I bragged about the new addition to
my cleaning arsenal until the day my husband walked in just as I came
around the corner with my new vacuum in tow.
"Wow, honey!" he said. "When did you teach it to follow you like
that?"
-<>-
>Physical Fitness Class
During my physical fitness class, I had everyone lie on their backs
with their legs up as if pedaling a bike. After several minutes, one
man suddenly stopped.
"Why did you stop pedaling?" I shouted.
"I didn't stop," he said, wheezing. "I'm coasting."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
________________
'------._.------'\
\_______________\
.'| .'|
.'_____________.' .|
| | |
| Scooby _.-. | . |
| * (_.-' | |
| Snacks | .|
| * * | .'
|______________|.' LGB
>SMILES:
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.
Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a
neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer. Incensed at
the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if
your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable
for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course! How much
was the roast?" The butcher replied, "$7.98." A few days later the
butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was
an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.
----------
I went to see my girl and she was crying, "What's the matter?" I
asked. "My dog ate the pie I made for you," she said, dabbing away
a tear. "Don't worry," I said, "I'll buy you another dog."
----------
For the first time in many years, a friend of ours traveled from
his rural town to the city to attend a movie.
After buying his ticket he stopped at the concession stand to
purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $11.50, my friend
couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movie,
popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really
going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."
----------
Passing an office building late one night, a pale-haired woman
saw a sign that said "Press bell for night watchman."
She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman
clomping down the stairs.
The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another,
Shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the
revolving door. "Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you
want?"
"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it for yourself."
----------
At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician's wife noticed another
guest, a big, flirtatious blonde, making overtures at her husband.
It was a large, informal gathering, so she tried to laugh it off
until she saw them disappear into a bedroom together.
At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two apart and
screamed, "Look lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't
INSTALL them!"
----------
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for some kind of
relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection
of heating pads designed for people with back pain .... all on the
bottom shelf.
----------
I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when
the doctor told me I needed a tonsillectomy.
Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried
to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak.
The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical
problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure."
"You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "please continue."
"Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?"
---
...Oh Gee! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
________________
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(# @\| |/@ #) / /
\ (_) / / /
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/ \ / \ / / o_|
/ | o| / o_| \
/ | _____ | / / \ \
/ | |===| o| / /\ \ \
| | \@/ | / / \ \ \
| |___________o|__/----) \ \/
| ' || --) \ |
|___________________|| --) \ /
| o| '''' | \__/
| | |
"DON'T CROSS ME... !"
Rosebud
>Safe!
I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY any more)
and peeled the NRA sticker off my front window.
I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass
Neighborhood Watch.
I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the
front yard.
Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN Buy on EBAY)
and ran it up the flag pole.
Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security,
Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.
I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used
to charge me. Plus, I bought burkas for me to wear when I shop or
travel. Everyone moves out of the way, and security can't pat me
down. If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm
feeling like a woman today.
Hot Ding...Safe at last!!
---
...LMAO! The 'liberal' American way for sure! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
.',
<`/ _.' _.-
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`"-'\ `.
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/, \ \,'
\\ `.`.
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ejm -`-' -'
(a:f)
>-->From HandyHints:
With the colder weather comes all of those cold weather
clothes that have been hiding in the back of your closet
and in boxes under the bed. And when we pull out those
sweaters and pullovers and windbreakers we are going to
find plenty of missing buttons, old stains and pulled
threads. Following are a few simple fixes to get your
wardrobe back in shape.
* Camouflage a missing button with a paper clip
If you suddenly discover your favorite fall blouse is missing
a button you can still wear it. Thread a paper clip through
both holes and twist it tight. If you don't have a paper
clip handy, a safety pin will do the trick too.
* Unstick a zipper with a bar of soap
To get a stubborn zipper moving again, just rub a bar of
soap around the jammed area. The waxy soap helps the zipper's
teeth glide more easily. A waxy lip balm will also do the
trick.
* Lift stains with a vinegar soak
Stains that have set in are not necessarily a lost cause.
Try using white vinegar to remove stubborn stains, even on
clothes that have already been through the wash. Just pour
vinegar over the stain and let it sit for a few minutes,
then run it through the wash again. The acids in the vinegar
should break up the stain.
* Fix a pulled thread with a bobby pin
If your best knit has a pulled thread, grab a bobby pin
for a simple fix. Hook it onto the loop, then thread the
pin back through the inside of the sweater to hide the
snag. Gently remove the pin and you've just re-knit the
thread! And unlike if you had used scissors, your sweater
will remain intact.
-<>-
, // ,,/ ,.// ,/ ,// / /, // ,/, /, // ,/,
/, // ,/,_|_// ,/ ,, ,/, // ,/ /, //, /,/
/, /,.-' '-. ,// ////, // ,/,/, // ///
, ,/,/ \ // ,,///, // ,/,/, // ,
,/ , ^^^^^|^^^^^ ,// /// /,,/,/, ///, //
/ // | O , // ,/, //, ///, // ,/
,/ ,, J\/|\_ |+'(` , |) ^ ||\|||\|/` |
/,/ | || ,)// |\/-\|| ||| |\] .
/ /,, /| . , ///, . /, // ,//, /
, / ejm \ \ ). //, ,( ,/,/, // ,/,
>Gutter Cleaning Is Crucial - Especially Right Now
Gutters are an integral piece of your home's well being. They
serve to control the flow of rainwater to protect your roof,
walls, foundation and landscape.
But when neglected, experts say gutters can turn from a
necessity to a nightmare. A gutter clogged with leaves,
sticks and other debris can cause a leaky roof or water
damage to the interior or exterior of your home. Contractors
say gunked-up gutters also make nice homes for pests, rodents,
mold and honeycombs from bee infestations.
Although cleaning gutters is a task most homeowners can do
themselves, it can be dangerous work. According to the
Consumer Products Safety Commission, falls from ladders sent
more than 240,000 Americans to hospital emergency rooms every
year.
During a cleaning, a professional should remove of all debris
from the roof, gutters and downspouts, while checking and
repairing any loose gutter spikes. The cost of gutter cleaning
ranges from $75 to $225 for an average home, depending on the
length of gutters, height of the home and scope of work. Most
companies charge a flat fee per foot of gutter, but the cost
can go up depending on the complexity of the work.
Filters stop leaves and other debris from clogging up your
gutters. The best part is that there are no tools required for
installation; they're so easy push into place. It's hard enough
to clean gutters without having to unclog your down spouts.
-<>-
>'Go Green' Hints:
* De-gunk dirty sneakers with a vinegar and baking soda
solution.
If the wet, messy weather has left your sneakers caked
in mud, just mix 1 Tbs. of water, 2 Tbs. of white vinegar
and 2 Tbs. of baking soda, and spread the mix on your
shoes with an old toothbrush. The mixture hardens as it
dries, making it easy for you to brush off, taking all
that mud and grime with it.
* Clean Your Refrigerator Coils!
You can eliminate more than 70 percent of service calls with
this simple cleaning step. Skip this chore and you'll be
contributing to your appliance repair technician's retirement
fund. Not to mention handing over $5 to $10 a month extra to
your utility company because the fridge isn't running efficiently.
Do it twice a year or more often if you have shedding pets.
Their fur clogs up the coils fast.
Condenser coils are located on the back of the fridge or
across the bottom. These coils cool and condense the
refrigerant. When the coils are clogged with dirt and dust,
they can't efficiently release heat. The result is your
compressor works harder and longer than it was designed to,
using more energy and shortening the life of your fridge.
Clean the coils with a coil cleaning brush and vacuum. A
coil cleaning brush does a thorough job and will easily
pay for itself. The refrigerator coil brush is bendable
to fit in tight areas. They can be used for cleaning your
dehumidifier and air conditioner coils too.
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Trump's Incredible Kindness Revealed - Here is How Trump Saved the
NYC Veterans Day Parade in 1995
President Trump has been a target for the media for years, with most
stories showing how he is a corrupt businessman. Recently, a story
emerged about how President Trump saved the New York City Veterans
Day parade from certain failure.
https://tinyurl.com/y4htcclm
President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump attended an
American football game in Alabama, Saturday, November 9.
The Trumps waved to crowds quickly as they took their seats. Later,
in the first half of the game, the Trumps walked down to the railing
and waved as spectators cheered and took photos.
Sitting near Trump was Republican U.S. Representative Bradley Byrne,
who is expected to run for the Republican nomination for Senate
against the president's former attorney general, Jeff Sessions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnn11RNVfvs
Trump Launches African American Coalition
https://tinyurl.com/rru3jue
Senator And 7 Others Arrested – The FBI Just Caught Them In
High-Profile Investigation
https://tinyurl.com/vtgx2w8
Meet the Pit Bull Republicans Have Unleashed to Defend Trump
https://tinyurl.com/u5kxcqp
Liberal Jurisdiction Forced To Abandon Sanctuary Policy
https://tinyurl.com/spnugj9
Bernie Sanders Rails Against The Two Wall Street Billionaires
Running In The Democratic Primary
https://tinyurl.com/rso2hos
Schiff Rejects GOP Request For Whistleblower To Testify In
Impeachment Proceedings
https://tinyurl.com/r5fjt5z
Mexico Is Urging The Supreme Court To Stop Trump’s Bid To End DACA
https://tinyurl.com/tptwm3a
Impeachment Witness Undercut Steele Dossier In Bombshell Testimony
https://tinyurl.com/vr3hhda
US, China Take Another Step In Trade Talks, Chinese Official Says
https://tinyurl.com/yx5x8vqf
Westwing News:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Students For Life
https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6
Latest From OperationRescue:
http://www.operationrescue.org/
Latest Product Alert: Beef, Vegetables, Seafood
http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text
Latest Health Alert: Plastic Found in Beef
http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text
Click to Give Free
https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Have you ever seen those guys who go to renaissance faires,
dress up in costumes, buy period weapons, and go LARPing as
a viking on the weekends? You might have had unflattering
thoughts about them; geek, nerd, weirdo, but the thing about
a guy who likes to pretend that he's a viking is he's
probably got a lot of medieval weaponry lying around his
house. That makes him a bad choice for a home invasion.
36-year-old Ben Ball of Michigan is alive and well after he
used a replica battle ax to fend off a convicted criminal
who broke into his apartment late at night.
The 33-year-old suspect, Alex Lavell Rawls, is now in jail
facing a charge of first-degree home invasion, which could
put him in prison for a maximum of 20 years.
Ball says that the suspect dated his former roommate who
left to get away. The suspect showed up at the apartment
around 11:30 p.m., thinking she was there.
The suspect knocked on the door repeatedly, then kicked it
in, while Ball was in the apartment playing video games.
Ball said, "(The) door opened, (I) grabbed the ax, (then)
step, step, hit." The ax hit the intruder at least once
in the torso and then the two started grappling in the
apartment.
Finally, the suspect gave up and made a run for it. A
neighbor called 911 and police showed up. Police K-9s
followed the trail of blood to apprehend the suspect.
Ball owns a lot of weaponry that he keeps around his
apartment, the kind Vikings and Barbarian warriors used.
"I've got a double-headed carbon steel battle ax that was
homemade by a gentleman who has since passed. That's what
I call my baby," Ball said.
When he's not working at Applebee's, he participates in
events where people compete in ritualized combat. Ball says
he is glad he spent a lot of time practicing with that ax.
-<>-
A Missouri dad is facing charges after police pulled over
his 13-year-old son when they observed a pickup truck
swerving on Interstate 70 eastbound. David Mooneyham, who
was in the passenger seat, had asked the boy to act as his
designated driver because he was drunk.
It was the teen's first time driving. "He thought he had a
drunk driver," Police Chief Douglas G. Johnson reported.
"When the officer asked the driver for his license, he said,
'I don't have one.' Instead the passenger handed over his
license and registration." The 46-year-old drank too much
at his son's baseball game, so he asked him to drive.
Mooneyham refused to do field sobriety tests, but he did
register a BAC of 0.139 percent during a breath sample,
nearly double the legal limit. He was charged with
misdemeanor child endangerment and permitting an underage
person to drive.
"His closing comment was: 'I guess this makes me a bad
father,'" Johnson said.
*--- Twinkie on display for 43 years ---*
A Maine school is celebrating the 43rd anniversary of a
Twinkie that has been on display at the school since being
unwrapped by a science teacher. George Stevens Academy in
Blue Hill said the Twinkie originally unwrapped by teacher
Roger Bennatti in 1976 as part of a lesson on food
preservatives is marking its 43rd year at the school. The
school said the Twinkie is still the same size and shape
as a fresh snack cake, but its color has faded to gray and
its texture has turned rough. The Twinkie was on display
in Bennatti's classroom until he retired in 2004 and passed
it along to Libby Rosemeier, the school's dean of students
and one of the students who was in his class for the
original Twinkie lesson.
*--- 4th-graders Caught Selling Grandparents' Pot ---*
Four Colorado fourth graders are facing discipline after
they were caught with marijuana they had taken from their
grandparents' stashes. The two separate, but related,
incidents happened at Monfort Elementary School in Greeley
and involved three 10-year-old boys and a 10-year-old girl.
"Over the past two days, we have had two separate incidents
of students bringing marijuana into our school, both in the
form of loose-leaf marijuana and an edible form of the
drug," Principal Jennifer Sheldon wrote in a letter to
parents. "We urge all parents, grandparents and anyone who
cares for children to treat marijuana as you would
prescription drugs, alcohol or even firearms. This drug is
potentially lethal to children, and should always be kept
under lock and key, away from young people." The four
students have not been charged, but they have been
suspended. None of the parents or grandparents will face
charges either. "The word of warning is this stuff is
dangerous and we wish they would secure it much like they
would secure it much like they would a firearm or something
that could get in the hands of kids," John Gates, the
director of school safety for Greeley School District 6,
said.
*--- For When You Need To Poo A Solid Gold Brick ---*
A Hong Kong jewelry company exhibiting at an expo in China
unveiled a gold toilet with 40,815 diamonds embedded in the
seat. The Coronet jewelry brand, owned by Aaron Shum Jewelry
Ltd., unveiled the gold toilet at the second China Inter-
national Import Expo in Shanghai. The toilet is made mostly
of gold, with the seat composed of bulletproof glass with
40,815 diamonds embedded in it -- a total 334.68 carats.
Coronet said the toilet is scheduled to be inspected by
Guinness World Records to determine whether it qualifies
for a new record: most diamonds set in a toilet. It would
be the 10th world record for coronet, which previously
captured titles including most diamonds set in a watch.
Seems like a good investment of money to me.
*--- Chicago-area man builds his own Batmobile ---*
An Illinois man built his own life-sized replica of the
Batmobile, complete with a Boeing jet engine in the back.
Brian Hendler said he took a GM body, cut it and built a
frame underneath to construct his replica of Batman's car
from the 1989 Tim Burton film starring Michael Keaton. He
said his Batmobile, or "Big Black Car" as he calls it, can
pick itself up and spin 360 degrees. "It's the first car
in the world to do that," Hendler said. The car is not yet
street legal, but Hendler is hoping to eventually use the
vehicle as an attention-grabber for charity fundraising
events.
=========================================================
>-->From TheGroaner:
_____ _ _____ ____ /_ /,
| ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \>
| `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_
|_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$
;-''
pb
>Now That's Punny!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what
he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I
had to put my foot down.
Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.
That's just how I roll.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is
really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I hate Russian dolls... so full of themselves!
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said:
"No it doesn't!"
I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.
I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I
asked him, "What's the word on the street?"
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
Never trust atoms. They make up everything.
-<>-
>Car Trouble
A car breaks down along the motorway one day, so the driver
eases it over onto the shoulder of the motorway. He jumps
out of the car, opens the trunk, and pulls out two men in
trench coats.
The men stand behind the car, open up their coats and start
exposing themselves to the oncoming traffic. One of the worst
pile-ups in history occurs.
When questioned by police why he put two deviates along the
side of the road, the man replied, "I broke down and was just
using my emergency flashers!"
-<>-
>What Are We Doing In Here Anyway?
Two skeletons used by the professor of anatomy found themselves
stowed away in a dusty closet. After several weeks of boredom
one turned to the other and asked, "What are we doing shut up
in here anyway?"
"Got me," admitted his companion. "If we had any guts we'd bust
out of here."
-<>-
>He Was A Leaner
A friend always seemed to lean slightly to the left. It
bothered me, so I suggested that he see a doctor and have
his legs checked out. For years, he refused, telling me I
was crazy, but last week, he finally went.
Sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was a half
-inch shorter than his right. A bit of orthopedic surgery
later, both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no
longer leans.
"So," I said, "you didn't believe me when I told you a doctor
could fix your leg."
He just looked at me and said, "I stand corrected."
-<>-
>Q and A Quickies
Q: Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
A: He was just going through a stage.
Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot.
Q: What happens to a refrigerator when you pull its plug?
A: It loses its cool.
__
_.-~ )
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.-'. . . .' ,-',' ,' )
,'. . . _ ,--~,-'__..-' ,'
,'. . . (@)' ---~~~~ ,'
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; . . . . - . ,'
: . . . . _ /
. . . . . `-.:
. . . ./ - . )
. . . | _____..---.._/ ____ Seal _
~---~~~~----~~~~ ~~
Q: What did the dolphin say when he bumped into the whale?
A: I didn't do it on porpoise.
Q: What did the clock say to the watch?
A: Tock to you later.
Q: What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A: A labracadabrador.
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
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(_ O O _)
| .:(_):. |
_.--\ .___. /--._
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>--.__|| ||__.--<
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(__\|_|_|_____________|_|_|/___)
My husband and I decided to take our two children, then
ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant
for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in
her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears
rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-
old's antics and pounded the table.
Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through
clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never
eat out with us again!"
The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look
dear," he said. "Quality time!"
-<>-
[This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...]
A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be
the first in their family to go to college. So he and his
wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes
for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest
he's ever been.
After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas
break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy,
you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell
me some of that fancy book learnin'."
So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last
week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared."
Riitta Rasimus
(
)
__..---..__
,-=' / | \ `=-.
:--..___________..--;
\.,_____________,./
At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks
his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on
schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why
everybody knows pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!"
-<>-
Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather
forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey,
how come you look like the whole world caved in?"
The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an
uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."
"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck
for you, eh?"
"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin
I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand,
free and clear."
"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"
"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited
almost one hundred thousand dollars."
"Incredible... so how come you look so glum?"
"Well, this week...nothing!"
-<>-
Even though my Ecuadoran son-in-law is fluent in English,
he translates some figures of speech too literally. When I
commented that he and my daughter are about the same age,
but she looks much younger, he agreed.
"Yes," he said. "A lot of people think I stole the crib."
-<>-
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother
was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-
year-old son. Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared
their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy,
"Now remember, run to Daddy first, then the dog."
-<>-
__
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If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it
will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never
yours to begin with.
But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your
stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your
money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it
free... you either married it or gave birth to it.
=========================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
Q. Why do we turn green with envy?
A. The ancient Greeks thought that envy made the liver produce
excess bile, adding a slightly greenish tint to one's complexion
-<>-
>Quotes from Phyllis Diller:
(.,------...__
_.'" `.
.' .' `, `. `. `
. .' .'/''--...__`. \
. .--.`. ' "-. '. |
'' .' _.' .()) .--":/
''( \_\ ' (()(
''._' ( \ '
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`. . _ _ .'
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.' \ /\ / / `.
.' \( \ /|/ `.
.' \__/ `.
/ | o | \
| | |
jro
For me the most embarrassing thing about growing old is when
the grandchildren take me to the beach and try to make words
out of the veins on my legs. That?s why I still take the pill.
I don't want any more grandchildren.
The newlyweds next door were going on a honeymoon cruise and
the husband went into a drugstore and bought Dramamine and
contraceptives. The dear old druggist took him aside and said, ?
Son, if it makes you sick, why do you do it??
You know you?'re old when your walker has an air bag? and they?'ve
discontinued your blood type.
-<>-
________
\_\_\_\_\
_ \_\_\_\_\ -+-
__ \_\_\_\_\
___ \_\_\_\_\ -+-
____ \_\_\_\/
\ \
\ \
) ) Zwei Fliegen mit
| | einer Klappe schlagen
| |
| |
| |
| |
(_)
>Hunting Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around
with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh!, Killed any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
-<>-
.---.
.--. ___/ \
/ `.-"" `-, ;
; / O O \ /
`. \ /-'
_ J-.__; _.'
(" / `. -=:
`: `, -=|
| F\ i, ; -|
| | | || \_J
fsc mmm! `mmM Mmm'
>Hunting Elephants:
MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out
everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever
is left.
EXPERIENCED MATHEMATICIANS will attempt to prove the existence
of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a
subordinate exercise.
PROFESSORS OF MATHEMATICS will prove the existence of at least
one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of
an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students.
COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:
Go to Africa.
Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent
alternately east and west.
During each traverse pass,
Catch each animal seen.
Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
Stop when a match is detected.
EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a
known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will
terminate.
ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS prefer to execute Algorithm A on
their hands and knees.
ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals
at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or
minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant.
ECONOMISTS don't hunt elephants but they believe that if elephants
are paid enough, they will hunt themselves.
STATISTICIANS hunt the first animal they see N times and call it
an elephant.
CONSULTANTS don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted
anything at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those
people who do.
OPERATIONS RESEARCH CONSULTANTS can also measure the correlation
of hat size and bullet color to the efficiency of elephant-hunting
strategies, if someone else will only identify the elephants.
POLITICIANS don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants
you catch with the people who voted for them.
LAWYERS don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around
arguing about who owns the droppings.
SOFTWARE LAWYERS will claim that they own an entire herd based on
the look and feel of one dropping.
VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING, RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT try hard
to hunt elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent it.
When the vice president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will
try to ensure that all possible elephants are completely prehunted
before the vice president sees them. If the vice president does
see a non-prehunted elephant, the staff will (1) compliment the
vice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself to prevent
any recurrence.
SENIOR MANAGERS set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the
assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with
deeper voices.
QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS ignore the elephants and look for
mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.
SALES PEOPLE don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling
elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the
season opens.
SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE ship the first thing they catch and write
up an invoice for an elephant.
HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell
them as desktop elephants.
---
...Also See...
Elephant Ditties:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eleph.html
Adorable Baby Elephants:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyelephants.html
Elephant Hotel:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elhotel.html
No Passing Zone!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephant.html
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit
>For Origami Day today:
Origami Animal Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origamiart.html
Origami Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origamiart2.html
Origami Dollar Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dollarart.html
Natural Showoffs!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/showoffs.html
Incredible Animals!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/incredibleanimals.html
Newsworthy Animals 3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newsanimals3.html
Beautiful Monarch Butterflies
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monarchbutterflies.html
Kyle The Goose!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kylegoose.html
Colorful Birds!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds.html
My, How You've grown!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grown.html
Fall/Vets/Thanksgiving Index!
https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
She shared a video -
Sgt Reckless was a Marine Corps Horse who served heroically in the
Korean War. Sgt Reckless was featured in The Saturday Evening Post
and Life Magazine for her heroic actions during the war. Sgt Reckless
was promoted to Staff Sergeant by the Commandant of the US Marine
Corps after the war ended and served out her final days with the 1st
Marine Divison at Camp Pendleton, CA.
- we have here...
Sgt.Reckless
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sgtreckless.html
---
...I love this! Thanks LouiseAu!
It is right up there with this one...
SGT. STUBBY WAR DOG HERO:
Meet America's first war dog, a stray Pit Bull/Terrier mix, named
Stubby. He became Sgt. Stubby, was the most decorated war dog of
World War I and the only dog to be promoted to sergeant through
combat.
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stubbywardog.html
A short video paying tribute to our Veterans and to those who have
made the ultimate sacrifice in the service of their country.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB5oPrHb_zY
Take two minutes this Veterans Day to observe a moment of silence for
those that have served and made the ultimate sacrifice for their
country.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZIdXCam0V0
Musical artist Sailor Jerri shares with us her music video of
Hallelujah that she rewrote as a tribute song for Veterans.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msYPbjFC50w
The United States Military Academy Glee Club performs “Mansions of the
Lord”. These West Point Cadets make this beautiful song even more
meaningful as the song was originally written by Randall Wallace for
the film “We Were Soldiers” and set to the music of Nick Glennie-Smith.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGoSWn1tHeo
A heartwarming video of dogs being reunited with their owners after
being separated for an extended time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6kjZXwdyJs
---
...Wonderful! Thanks LouiseAu!
America’s Got Talent winner Shin Lim shows his magic skills at The
Kelly Clarkson Show. Max Greenfield and Kelly Clarkson are
seriously impressed.
https://youtu.be/d7NOoJ8d7-4
First-Person-View Of Felix Baumgartner’s Space Jump
You may have seen Felix Baumgartner's jump from 128,100 feet - but
you have never seen it like this!
https://youtu.be/dYw4meRWGd4
---
...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"There's an event company that specializes in fake weddings.
The idea is that many young people don't want to get married
but they do want a wedding, so the company puts on a fake
ceremony and a fake reception. I can't imagine writing 'Will
attend' on an RSVP for a fake wedding. There are already
weddings for people who don't want to get married - they're
called weddings." -Jimmy Kimmel
"A Colorado man has been fined $1,000 for allegedly feeding
bears for the third time in eight years. Said the man, 'Oh
great, this is going to cost me another arm and a leg.'"
-Seth Meyers
"Over the weekend a woman gave birth in a Barnes & Noble
bookstore. Out of habit the parents briefly looked over the
newborn baby and then went home and bought a cheaper baby
on Amazon." -Conan O'Brien
"Finally, I saw that Starbucks just unveiled its holiday
cups, which had illustrations that customers can color in
themselves. It's perfect for people who are too busy to
make their own coffee at home, yet still have enough time
to color in a coffee cup." -Jimmy Fallon
"Amazon has unveiled a new way to view its products in
3-D. Amazon is calling its new invention a 'store.'"
-Conan O'Brien
"Every appliance with a clock should have a Daylight Savings
button to push. You'd only use it twice a year, but that's
more than I use the 'Potato' button on my microwave."
-Jimmy Kimmel
We found a spider in the house and my girlfriend told me
to take it out instead of killing it. So we went and had
some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
When my wife gets upset, sometimes a simple 'Calm down,
Honey' in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a
lot more upset.
"I think the bottom-line difference between being single and
married is this: When you're single you're as happy as you
are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the
least happy person in the house." --Tom Hertz
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40
words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you
the same message also put up for all web site readers.
Email me to secure dates.
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-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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