Happy Columbus Day!... :) Shangy >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ .--------. (H E L L O ) '--,-----' .-"""""-. o / _____/\_\ o //`__ __ \\ O // (o) (o) \\ (_ (___) _) \ _____ / `-._ _.-' __.-)_(-,__ ./'/ |_| \`\. jgs / `""""""""""` \ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2011 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2011 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) I got busy and added a bunch more animated graphics for Halloween to the Animated Gallery. Check them out here... .--. / ..\ ____.' _o/ .--. '--. |.__ /.. \ _.-' /--' \ o / _.--' / / \ ~'--....___.-' / \ (/ \) ,_ | \ |`\ \ '._ \ `'-._ '._ '-. \ '-._/) `'- ,~- _.` '. '.--. jgs `-., / ..`\ .--. //'-. o / /.. \ (/ '--' \o _ (____ __.| .--' '---\ '. , '. '-.___.-'/ '-.__ _.' ````` Fall, Frankenstein, Ghost, Halloween, Haunted House http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_f-j.html The following page allows you to use the left hand side letters to display all the graphics at once on one page - [Word: = Comments Hal and Hallo = Halloween] __.......__ .-:::::::::::::-. .:::''':::::::''':::. .:::' `:::' `:::. .'\ ::' ^^^ `:' ^^^ ':: /`. : \ :: _.__ __._ :: / ; : \`: .' ___\ /___ `. :'/ ; : /\ (_|_)\ /(_|_) /\ ; : / .\ __.' ) ( `.__ /. \ ; : \ ( { } ) / ; : `-( . ^"^ . )-' ; `. \ .'<`-._.-'>'. / .' `. \ \;`.';/ / .' jgs `._ `-._ _.-' _.' .'`-.__ .'`-._.-'`. __.-'`. .' `. .' `. .' `-. .-' `. Vampire, Vulture, Witch, Wolf, Words:Hal-boop, Words:Hallo http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html -<>- >2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This First scorching hot page is from our friends Linda And Jo Ann. It is amazing and should tickle your funny bone as well. Turn the sound up, give it time to load and check it out here... __ __ /_ _^^_ _\ _____|________|______ `=====.'""""""'.=====` / /a /a \ .-. | /\ | <" ) \ / / \ .`\, _'. \/\/\/ .'_ \ \_\ ./,' '-.\\'-------' \`------'/ '--""---'//.-' ###'.-'/________ \/""""\/ ________\'-.'### '/` \ : / `\` | | \ : | | \ \_____:_____ / [I=I=[_]I=I] / | \ / |_ \ / /\ \ / /##\ \ | ,/ ## \, | \ \ ## / / \ \ ## / / \ \##/ / jgs \ /\/\ / __,\_/X##X\_/.__ '.'/|\\XX//|\'.` '/'|.\##/,|`\' ## ## ## \ ## / / \ , \ \\##// , / /, /. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Farmers Gone Wild! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/farm.html --- ...LOL! I Loved This One! Thanks Ladies! -<>- This next sizzler is from our friend Johanna and from my daughter Tammy [who just happens to be a deputy sheriff]. It is a testament to woman all around the world who have stood up for law and order and taken the oath to proudly wear the uniform of a police officer. Check it out here... , /\ , / '-' '-' \ | POLICE | \ .--. / | ( 19 ) | \ '--' / '--. .--' jgs \/ Woman Cops Around The World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womancops.html --- ...A very impressive one! Thank You Johanna! To learn more biblically about Civil government visit here: http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&new_topic=17 ============================================================ >-->From The FunnyBone: The Family's Cat |\_/| _ / x x \ _ Sometimes kids will repeat the things ("\{= Y =}/") we say, but under other circumstances, \ \\_ ^ _// / and they take on new and different \ \/*o*\/ / meanings. %#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%# <><><><><><><><><><><> A few years back a friend of a friend %#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%# was having a bridge party. Shortly jgs / //\ \ before the party was to begin, the / /|| \ \ family cat was run over and killed. (,,/ \\ \,,) Their 5 or 6 year old son hadn't seen )) it, and they didn't want to deal with (/ an upset child just before the party, %#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%# so they quietly put the body in the <><><><><><><><><><><> trash can and started the bridge party. %#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%# About half way though the party, their son walked in, holding the dead cat by his hind legs, and announced for all to hear, "Who threw away this perfectly good cat?" _ _ (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) Two guys of limited intelligence were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped below the surface. After floating under blazing heat for 6 days they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an oil lamp (the kind the genies come in). They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. "POOF" out popped a tired old genie who said, "OK, so you freed me from this stupid lamp, yadda, yadda, yadda. But hey, I've been doing this 3 wishes stuff for a long time now and quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys get only ONE wish and then I'm OUTTA here. Make it a good one". The first guy, without hesitation or thought blurted out, "Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!!!" "Fine," said the genie, and he instantly turned the entire ocean into beer. "Great move Einstein!" said the second guy, slapping the first guy in the head. "NOW we're gonna have to pee in the BOAT!" ================================================================ *----------- Even More Bizarre October Holidays -----------* October 11 is It's My Party Day October 12 is International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day October 13 is National Peanut Festival October 14 is Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day October 15 is White Cane Safety Day October 16 is Dictionary Day October 17 is Gaudy Day October 18 is No Beard Day October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day October 20 is National Brandied Fruit Day October 21 is Babbling Day October 22 is National Nut Day October 23 is National Mole Day October 24 is National Bologna Day October 25 is Punk For A Day Day October 26 is Mule Day October 27 is Sylvia Plath Day October 28 is Plush Animal Lover's Day and National Chocolate Day October 29 is Hermit Day October 30 is National Candy Corn Day October 31 is National Magic Day and Increase Your Psychic Powers Day =============================================================== , /:\ >:< >:< >:< ,,,,,\:/ ######### //////\\\\\ // /_\ /_\ \\ \( 0 _ 0 )/ /\\= _\ =//\ \\/\ --- /\// //\ '---' /\\ \// \\/ /\\ //\ \\/ \// # # jgs " " >-->Kids Jokes: Q: Where did Columbus first land in America? A: On his feet! Q: Who was the first cat to discover America? A: Christopher Columpuss! Q: How was Columbus's ship like an avid shopper? A: They're both driven by sales! Q: What's the difference between one of Columbus's sailors and a monster? A: One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind! Q: What would you get if you crossed October 12 with Halloween? A: Ghoulumbus Day! -<>- >Real Groaners... Q: "Did you hear the story about the smog?" A: "You don't have to tell me, it's all over town." Q: How can you eat and study at the same time? A: Eat alphabet soup. Q: How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? A: Play the piano until you find the right key and you can get out. Q: How can you say rabbit without using the letter R? A: Bunny. Q: How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint? A: He gets pale as a sheet. Q: How do they drink water in the South? A: From Dixie cups. Q: How do you buy things in Mexico? A: The same way you buy things anywhere else. You peso (pay so) much and you buy it. Q: If a papa bull eats three bales of hay and a baby bull eats one bale, how much hay will a mama bull eat? A: Nothing. There is no such thing as a mama bull. Q: If fish lived on land, where would they live? A: In Finland. Q: If the green house is on the right side of the road, and the red house is on the left side of the road, where is the white house? A: In Washington, D.C. =================================================================== >-->From TheMasti: .---. |#__| =;===;= / - - \ ( _'.'_ ) .-`-'^'-`-. | `>o<' | / : \ / /\ : /\ \ .-'-/ / .-. \ \-'-. |_/ /-' '-\ \_| /| | |\ (_| /^\ |_) | | | | jgs | | | | '==='= ='===' >HOW TO START A FIGHT: The Unreasonable Mother-in-law One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's when the fight started... ______________________________ The Unreasonable Wife My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to mess around?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes.' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ The Humour-less Wife I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ The Mis-informed Wife My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My gosh!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ The Dangeorus Wife When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. ________________________________ The Lazy Wife My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ The Humourless Husband Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ The well rounded Wife My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ The Soft Husband After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office... She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And that's when the fight started... ________________________________ The Masochistic Husband My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect." And that's when the fight started... -<>- >World of Politicians While hair cutting, Government Employed Barber, asked Kapil Sibal, Whats this Swiss Bank issue? Kapil Sibal shouted, YOU are cutting hair or making inquiry? Barber: Sorry Sir, I just simply asked. Next day, while cutting the hair, he asked Pranab Mukherjee, Sir, whats this Black money issue? Pranab shouted, Why do you ask me this question? Barber: Sorry Sir, just simply asked you" Next day, CBI interrogated the Barber, Are you an agent of Baba Ramdev? Barber: No Sir. CBI: Are you the agent of Anna? Barber: No Sir. CBI: Then while cutting the hair, why you ask Congress Ministers about Swiss Bank and Black money issues? Barber: Sir, the reason is, when I ask about Swiss Bank or Black money, The Congress Ministers hairs stand up straight; And that helps me to cut his hair easily. ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend EdLaF :) _.-"""""-._ / .--.....-.\ / / \\ || || || .--. .--|/ /` @ \ @ | \_ _) | | ,____, ; | \ `--' / _./\ '.____.;_ _.-' | `\ |\'-. .' `\ '. / / '. / jgs |/ `\/`\| \ >Making a Baby.... The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' 'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.' 'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' 'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?' 'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.' 'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' 'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.' 'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' 'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. 'Oh, my gosh!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. 'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.' 'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith. 'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look' 'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. 'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh... equipment?' 'It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.' 'Tripod?' 'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.' Mrs. Smith fainted --- ...LMAO! A good one! Thanks EdLaF! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend Del :) .-""-._ / ___/ \ _&_ _.--""|/ `\| // \\ .' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \ / | _ | \ // / \ \\ | _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\ | .' \____/-._ | .-"-. | / `; /# \ | / / _|_.---\ | | |.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-. / \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="} /--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="} / \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-; | /`| | \ | |||| || | /_ | |_______/ | |||| || | \_/| |-------' |--'||'--._|| | | | | || |> |______| |____________|._ || _..-;| | [___] | `||() || |______ |\/|____________|jgs|| () (__) \__/ (__) () >Hate My Job day When you have an 'I Hate My Job day' [Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days] Try this out: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement: "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized." Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,' I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.' HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BEHIND THAN YOURS! ..Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart.... Then you are just an old sour fart; Maybe you should go and work for Johnson & Johnson! --- ...TeeHee! A great classic! Thanks Del! ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) [Politics] >Socialism/Communism never works! Wow! Proof is in the pudding. These students will never forget that Socialism/Communism never works! Too bad for Americans that the Obamas were not in this class! An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer. The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan." All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A. After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little. The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else. All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. Could not be any simpler than that. Remember, there is a test coming up. The 2012 elections. --- ...So true! Why work for something you can get free? Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- >I WANT TO GET RE-ELECTED An old West Virginia Hillbilly saying: “You cannot get the water to clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek.” *SOME OF YOU MAY APPRECIATE THIS AND SOME OF YOU MAY NOT.* *I DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING THIS BECAUSE OF IT'S TRUTH.* *If any other of our presidents had doubled the national debt, which had taken more than two centuries to accumulate, in one year, would you have approved?* *If any other of our presidents had then proposed to double the debt again within 10 years, would you have approved? * *If any other of our presidents had criticized a state law that he admitted he never even read, would you think that he is just an ignorant hot head? * *If any other of our presidents joined the country of Mexico and sued a state in the United States to force that state to continue to allow illegal immigration, would you question his patriotism and wonder who's side he was on? * *If any other of our presidents had pronounced the Marine Corps like Marine Corpse, would you think him an idiot? * [not only once but 5 TIMES!] *If any other of our presidents had put 87,000 workers out of work by arbitrarily placing a moratorium on offshore oil drilling on companies that have one of the best safety records of any industry because one foreign company had an accident, would you have agreed? * *If any other of our presidents had used a forged document as the basis of the moratorium that would render 87000 American workers unemployed would you support him? * *If any other of our presidents had been the first President to need a Teleprompter installed to be able to get through a press conference, would you have laughed and said this is more proof of how inept he is on his own and is really controlled by smarter men behind the scenes? * *If any other of our presidents had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to take his First Lady to a play in NYC, would you have approved? * *If any other of our presidents had reduced your retirement plan holdings of GM stock by 90% and given the unions a majority stake in GM, would you have approved? * *If any other of our presidents had made a joke at the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? * *If any other of our presidents had given Gordon Brown a set of inexpensive and incorrectly formatted DVDs, when Gordon Brown had given him a thoughtful and historically significant gift, would you have approved? * *If any other of our presidents had given the Queen of England an iPod containing videos of his speeches, would you have thought it a proud moment for America? * *If any other of our presidents had bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia would you have approved? * *If any other of our presidents had visited Austria and made reference to the nonexistent "Austrian language," would you have brushed it off as a minor slip? * *If any other of our presidents had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? * *If any other of our presidents had stated that there were 57 states in the United States, wouldn't you have had second thoughts about his capabilities as President? * *If any other of our presidents would have flown all the way to Denmark to make a five minute speech about how the Olympics would benefit him walking out his front door in his home town, would you not have thought he was a self-important, conceited, egotistical jerk. * *If any other of our presidents had been so Spanish illiterate as to refer to "Cinco de Cuatro" in front of the Mexican ambassador when it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo), and continued to flub it when he tried again, wouldn't you have winced in embarrassment? * *If any other of our presidents had burned 9,000 gallons of jet fuel to go plant a single tree on Earth Day, would you have concluded he's a hypocrite?* *If any other of our presidents' administrations had okayed Air Force One flying low over millions of people followed by a jet fighter in downtown Manhattan causing widespread panic, would you have wondered whether they actually get what happened on 9-11? * *If any other of our presidents had failed to send relief aid to flood victims throughout the Midwest with more people killed or made homeless than in New Orleans, would you want it made into a major ongoing political issue with claims of racism and incompetence? * *If any other of our presidents had created the position of 32 Czars who report directly to him, bypassing the House and Senate on much of what is happening in America, would you have ever approved. * *If any other of our presidents had ordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation, even though he had no constitutional authority to do so, would you have approved? * *So, tell me again, what is it about Obama that makes him so brilliant and impressive? * *Can't think of anything? Don't worry. He's done all this in 24 months – so you have that much time to come up with an answer.* *Every statement and action in this email is factual and directly attributable to Barrack Hussein Obama. Every bumble is a matter of record and completely verifiable. * AND NOW-- HE ACTUALLY WANTS US TO RE-ELECT HIM. WAKE UP AMERICA 2012 IS UPON US. *I WONDER HOW MANY OF YOU WILL FORWARD THIS ? * I AM BECAUSE I CAN NOT AFFORD TO TAKE A CHANCE ON THIS GUY FOR ANOTHER FOUR YEARS . . . *"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."* --- ...Most interesting reading! Thank You Jo Ann! =============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From Our Friend EdLaF :) Most troops vote republican, this is a well known fact. It is also a well known fact that the democrats do their best to block votes from the military in every election. Dear VoteVets Supporter [in Colorado], One of the most important rights we have as Americans is the right to go to the polls and cast our ballots in favor of the people we want to represent us in our democracy. For over two hundred years, brave American men and women have raised their right hand and placed themselves in harms way to defend this freedom. But in Colorado, that very right is being attacked, specifically for American troops. Colorado Secretary of State Scott Gessler has ordered election officials not to send ballots to American troops serving overseas, in places like Afghanistan and Iraq. We are Colorado residents. We are also Veterans. We volunteered to serve our country and wore the American flag on our right shoulder in harms way. As Colorado Veterans, the idea that Scott Gessler would deliberately prevent our service members from exercising the very freedoms they fight for is offensive, un-American, and wrong. But Scott Gessler's order is not just unpatriotic; it's also illegal. Gessler is in direct violation of the federal Uniform Military and Overseas Voters Act, which requires clerks to mail ballots to all eligible voters in the military. Will you sign our petition to Scott Gessler? The Secretary of State needs to not only know that what he is doing is unpatriotic, but that as Colorado Veterans, we will not stand for his insulting behavior and attempts to disenfranchise men and women in uniform. Scott Gessler clearly doesn't respect military service. It's up to us to show him why he is wrong. Click here to sign our petition! http://tinyurl.com/4xtl9f9 Micah Snead Denver, Colorado Iraq War Veteran Colorado State Captain, VoteVets.org Richard Allen Smith Denver, Colorado Afghanistan War Veteran Vice Chairman, VoteVets.org P.S. Can you forward this to your friends in Colorado? We need Scott Gessler to know how many voices are outraged by his disrespect of American troops. --- ...Thanks For The info EdLaF! -<>- >From Grassfire: Yesterday, Chuck Norris called out President Obama on the President's demand that every American pay their "fair share" in taxes (i.e. we need to pay more). Norris: This year alone, nearly every member and minion of [the Obama] administration (including the mainstream media) has regurgitated "pay their fair share" like cows chewing cud. They have done so to prompt Americans to feel that the wealthy are getting a free ride regarding taxation while lower- and middle-class folks pay their societal ticket. Norris then goes on to list the many times members of the Obama team have used the "fair share" language (see link below to Norris' article.) Add to that the many times Obama himself has dropped the "fair share" class warfare bomb in recent days. He mentioned it two days before his stimulus announcement and at least five times in his prepared address announcing his new stimulus. Establishing that the "rich" need to pay their "fair share" is central to the Left's class warfare political strategy. But it begs a question... WHAT'S MY FAIR SHARE? And what's your fair share? And what makes Obama and the statists so smart as to decide that we're not paying our fair share? Also yesterday (coincidentally), our Grassfire Nation team was finalizing a new viral activism campaign designed to expose the Obama "fair share" myth. This new website exposes the fallacy of Obama's class warfare "fair share" argument by allowing citizens to ask the question: "What's My Fair Share?" Our goal is simple -- keep asking Obama and the Left the "fair share" question because it exposes their socialist agenda at its core. Imagine if thousands and then tens of thousands of citizens turned the question back on Obama and asked, "What's My Fair Share, Oh Wise One?" I'd like to hear every politician asked that question, including the GOP presidential contenders. This one question has the potential to shift the political debate and get millions of Americans thinking about the statist agenda that threatens our very way of life. Just one problem... We literally just launched the site and as a result, we have just a handful of contributors who have asked, "What's My Fair Share?" Before we roll this campaign out nationwide, I want to make sure there are a "fair share" of contributors on the site. That's why I'm writing to you. Would you take a moment right now, visit our "What's My Fair Share?" website, watch our video and then, most importantly, make your own "What's My Fair Share?" submission? Go here: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=52210&RID=32409272 Then, tell your friends. And let us know what you think. Thanks for taking action! Steve Elliott Visit "What's My Fair Share?": http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=52211&RID=32409272 Read Chuck Norris' article: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=52212&RID=32409272 -<>- >From PatriotNews: Sex, Drugs & Poor Sanitation Eclipsing Occupy Wall Street? http://tinyurl.com/3m87a4y -<>- >From Vision To America: Boy Scouts Infiltrated by Muslim Brotherhood? http://tinyurl.com/3gm5afg Behar to Cain: GOP Hasn't Been Black Friendly for Centuries http://tinyurl.com/3p4jtpe -<>- >From TheTeaParty.net Sheriff Joe Arpaio: President Obama Should Thank Me http://tinyurl.com/64zajyd -<>- >From BizarreNews: It's still better dental care than most Brits get. A Pennsylvania man has pleaded guilty to reckless endangerment after his teenage son tried to pull out his own teeth because he hadn't been taken to a dentist. 40-year-old Francisco Torres told a judge that he "procrastinated" about get the boy dental care. Police say the boy tried to pull out his teeth after complaining of pain for several months. He broke two teeth and needed emergency surgery to have the fragments removed. Torres told the court he had insurance problems that contributed to the delay. *-- Youth in handcuffs turns self in --* LOWELL, Ind. - Police in Indiana say a teenager walked into their station with handcuffs on his wrists and told them he was wanted on a warrant. Indiana State Police at the Lowell Post said Zachary Keilman, 18, of Rensselaer walked into the post about 2 p.m. Thursday and told Sgt. Alan Jamerson he believed there was a warrant for his arrest, The (Merrillville) Post-Tribune reported Monday. Keilman rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and showed Jamerson there were handcuffs on his wrists with the middle chain cut. Keilman said he had been detained by a Newton County sheriff's deputy while attending a party with alleged underage drinking and had escaped the deputy's car while other party-goers were being questioned. However, Keilman said he later realized he had left his identification in the deputy's car. Keilman, who was taken to the Newton County Jail and released on bond Friday, faces a felony count of escape and a misdemeanor count of resisting law enforcement. *-- Homecoming queen kicks winning field goal --* PINCHNEY, Mich. - The first girl to play on a Michigan high school's varsity football team was crowned homecoming queen and then went out and kicked a game-winning field goal. Brianna Amat, a Pinchney High soccer star turned varsity football kicker, said she received a note at half-time of the Friday night game against Grand Blanc telling her to come out of the locker room and she was shocked to find herself crowned homecoming queen, WJBK-TV, Detroit, reported Monday. Later, with 5 minutes left in the third quarter, Amat kicked a 31-yard field goal, a personal record, to win the game 9-7. *-- Couple exchange vows for 100th time --* HONOLULU - A Tennessee couple who married in 1984 have made it into Guinness World Records by exchanging their vows for the 100th time. Lauren and David Blair, ages 60 and 58, said they first exchanged vows in 1984 in Topanga Canyon, Calif., and they have since renewed their vows 99 times, with the most recent being Sunday in Honolulu, Guinness World Records said. The couple said each of their ceremonies has taken place in a different location. "We were both in long-term relationships in the past that didn't work out," Lauren Blair said. "We knew we were meant for each other and wanted to continually share that vow experience. I love to look into David's eyes as he is repeating his vows. I know that this man will love me until the day I die. Of course, David will tell you that he does it for the honeymoons!" *-- Barber accidentally shot in buttocks --* PARMA, Ohio - An Ohio barber said he will not press charges after a customer dropped a gun, accidentally firing a bullet into the barber's buttocks. Kurt Voelkel, owner of Werner's Barber Shop in Parma, said the customer arrived for an appointment around 2 p.m. Sept. 29 and the 9 mm handgun fell from his holster as he was preparing to sit down, WJW-TV, Cleveland, reported Thursday. Voelkel said the weapon discharged a round, which passed through his chair and his wallet before becoming lodged deep within his buttocks. "It took me a minute to realize what happened," Voelkel said. "But at the time, it really did hurt pretty bad." The barber said he was treated at MetroHealth Medical Center and released after two and a half hours. He said doctors left the bullet inside of him. "If I really get in there and push, I can feel it. But other than that, I can't -- just the wound," Voelkel said. He said he will not press charges against the longtime customer as the incident was accidental and the man is taking care of his medical bills. ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .'| () .-' | / .-} /.-} | .-} / |_| ( |_|-.| |_|/\ (_), \(_) (_) / | \X\ | \\ | \/ |\_/\\_ |\_/ |\_\ |:| \/ |:| \:\ |:| |:| |\:| jgs |:| |:| ||:| ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Maybe this is why they don't teach music in high school any more. Following are actual answers from students on music tests... - The principal singer of nineteenth cenntury opera was called pre-Madonna. - Gregorian chant has no music, just sinngers singing the same lines. - Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphoony. - All female parts were sung by castratii. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants. - Young scholars have expressed their raapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue. - Music sung by two people at the same ttime is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco. - A virtuoso is a musician with real higgh morals. - Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing. - Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys. - I know what a sextet is but I'd ratherr not say. - Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great maany musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. - Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romanttic composer of piano concerti. -<>- I was traveling through Georgia last summer and stopped at a little backwoods country store. In the men's room there was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which said, "Please Wiggel Handel". Below that some wit had written, "If I do, will it wiggel Bach?" -<>- When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?'" -<>- _____ /| .-'@ & #`'-. // / % 8 \ // | m () _ | // \ 0 ( '-._/ // jgs '-.____'. y Some time ago, there was this artist who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now. As usual, his model reported and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work. He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her for the day but that she could just go home; he just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed. The model said "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do." He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh my God!" he whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick! Take all your clothes off!" -<>- A man and his friend were exiting a drugstore and at the front door there was a scale. "Look, a scale," the man said to his friend. "Let's see how my new diet is working out." He stepped on the scale. "I can't believe it!" he said as he read the result. "I've been on this diet for two weeks but the scale says I'm heaver than I was before! How can that be?" He pondered this as he stepped off the scale, then had a thought. He took off his jacket and handed it to his friend. "Here, hold my jacket," he said. The friend took the jacket as the man stepped back on the scale. Not much change. "Here," he said as he handed his purchase from the drugstore to his friend. "Hold my Twinkies too." -<>- ___, """;; '/' ) \- / _)(_ .'\\/ )\ _/ /\\ / \ |||||\\/ \ \_||| / | \\//\_(\___/ || | | ||;-.T | |/__/| | |\__\| | ||\_ \ | jgs ||/\`/__| []'-' (_) Before I could enroll in my company's medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance. One question asked, "Do you think you may need to go to the emergency room within the next three months?" =============================================================== >-->From The Mouth: __ [] || [] || [] || [] __ || [] || || [] .-||-||-. [] /\ _\_______/_===========[]=(-o) )\_____/( [] \/ / || \ [] / || \ [] / || \ [] /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\ [] / :: \ [] ( :: ) [] `-----------------' [] ) [] ( ) [] )( . ( [] .) @@) ) [] ` ) @@(@@)@ [] (@@(@@)@ [] @(@.@)@@ [] ` (@{__}@)` [] :__; [] ___ {}+ [] ( = ) .---'`---. [] | |_ jgs / \ ________[]____ ____| |_|==========(____________)_/______________\ >Alternate Uses for Peanut Butter * Feed large globs of it to your dog for cheap entertain- ment. * Mix it with egg whites and ammonia to see if it takes out stains. * Plug holes in your paneling walls. * Save it up so you will have plenty during your retirement years. * Make "Cream of Peanut Butter" soup. * Put it in the bell of your brass instrument to make interesting new sounds. * Coat the lower half of your bicycle with it. Ride around town so everyone will think you were riding in the mud. * Two words: eye shadow. * Let it dry out and use it as silly putty. * New Olympic Event: PB Swimming. * Use it as "heavy" ammo for your Super Soaker 11000. * See how much of it your vacuum cleaner can handle. * One word: Gargle. * No shaving cream? No problem! * Get that tan you always wanted. * Color it. Use it in place of Play-Doh. * Get out your alchemy set and try to turn it into gold. -<>- >FIND A GRAVE This website is dedicated to archiving all famous and infamous grave sites. Find the graves of thousands of famous people and infamous ancestors though this easy-to- use site. Once your find the grave you are looking for, create virtual memorials, add 'virtual flowers' and a note to a loved one's grave. This website also supplies you with the name of the cemetery and town at which to visit the burial site. Whether you are looking to find where a loved one is buried, or would just like to post a sentimental message along with flowers to commemorate their life, this website is it! Visit: FIND A GRAVE -<>- ____ _[____]_ ( '7') __)(^_ / ,C^D,\ / /||:||\\ \ \|/:\|// `\\~~~|/ ,##\7|\ \ |#| \ \ |#| / / jgs |#|/_/ |#|\ \ (#_\`' >** THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 70 Years Old ** 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" 4. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There's nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m. 9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. 12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room. 14. You sing along with the elevator music. 15. Your eyes won't get much worse. 16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service. 18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. -<>- 0_ \`. ___ \ \ / __>0 /\ / |/' / / \/ ` ,`'--. / /(___________)_ \ |/ //.-. .-.\\ \ \ 0 // :@ ___ @: \\ \/ ( o ^(___)^ o ) 0 \ \_______/ / jgs '._______.' >** ** FAMOUS LAST WORDS ** * I'll get a world record for this.. * It's fireproof. * He's probably just hibernating. * What does this button do? * It's probably just a rash. * Are you sure the power is off? * Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it? * The odds of that happening have to be a million to one! * Pull the pin and count to what? * Which wire was I supposed to cut? * I wonder where the mother bear is. * I've seen this done on TV. * These are the good kind of mushrooms. * I'll hold it and you light the fuse. * Let it down slowly. * Rat poison only kills rats. * It's strong enough for both of us. * This doesn't taste right. * I can make this light before it changes. * Nice doggie. * I can do that with my eyes closed. * I've done this before. * Well, we've made it this far. * That's odd. * You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you? * Don't be so superstitious. * Now watch this. -<>- /))))))))) //) __ __\ C==/_o|^|o_\ | _\ ) \ '---'/ _/`-. __.'_ /` \`'-,._./|\ / \ /`\_/\/ \ / , ||| |\ , \ | |:===: / | | | | /|:~~~: | / | | \ \ '-' \/ / / `\ \==I==[]=/ / \o_\ |o/ / ) |\ | /\| J |/ |/| | | | | | | | | | | | \ > > | | | |_____|__| [_____]__] |==|==| /~~&\~~&\ jgs ( , `~~)`~~) """`~~~`~~~` >RULES OF THE OFFICE **If it rings, put it on hold; **If it clanks, call the repairman; **If it whistles, ignore it; **If it's a friend, take a break; **If it's the boss, look busy; **If it talks, take notes; **If it's handwritten, type it; **If it's typed, copy it; **If it's copied, file it; **If it's Friday, forget it! -<>- ."""-. / \ | _..--'-. >.`__.-"";"` / /( ^\ '-`) =|-. /`--.'--' \ .-. .'`-._ `.\ | J / jgs / `--.| \__/ >Top Ten Signs New Yorkers Are Getting Too Fat 10. Elevators have a maximum occupancy of one 9. The Statue of Liberty is now holding a cupcake 8. Driver's license photos larger to include all chins 7. Broadway's Shubert Alley renamed Kirstie Alley 6. Robotic voice in the subway says, "Stand clear of the closing doors, lardass" 5. Thousands of "potholes" are actually footprints in the pavement 4. 97% of ATM passwords are either "fudge" or "bacon" 3. People becoming Yankees fans just for the slimming pinstripes 2. Most popular store: Gap For Tubby Dudes 1. New Yorkers are winded after giving the finger ========================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ____ _ .-;\)___\ |_| \_/ ,---\ | | / _/ e e \_/ _%&&%%&_ |(` >| ___T__\______/__ \| =/ '====\\\ ^/====='_/ ,--' `\ \ .'`._ ( \ \ / ``\ \ \/ / ) ) \`'._/ -'.-'\ \__/ / \-'\______ /._'-./ \ ___`'-. /` | '-.\ '--`` /-\\\ /` / | ( ) | / / | \ (-------------- / '-._ | /'-.'# # # # `._ `'-._/ /#__#__#__#__#__ ;";-..__ | | # # # # # ; | |``-' |# # # # # / ;\ | |__#__#__#__#__#__ .' / / / || || jgs /' .' | | || || / .' | | || || ,| / \ | || || \\\/( (`-/\__ || \__`\ [_--.__\ || >Things I Wish I'd Known Before I Dated ~ Never date anyone who is rude to the waiter/waitress. ~ Never date anyone who is rude to their mother. ~ If they have a tendency to be rude to you now, just wait. ~ If you date someone who doesn't share your standards, they'll lower yours. ~ The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right." ~ Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. ~ If he/she says you're too good for him/her, believe it. ~ If they have a tough time apologizing now, just wait. ~ Never date anyone who spends more time gazing into the mirror, than they spend gazing into your eyes. -<>- >Men Are Good For Only One Thing Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" -<>- Cemetery The Greek verb koiman, meaning “to put to sleep,” led to the noun koimeterion, meaning “dormitory.” It was early Greek Christians who first used the Latin translation of that word—coemeterium—to describe burial grounds. Coroner From the Latin word corona, for “crown.” Coronae was once the title of English officers whose duties included collecting taxes. English law stated that if someone died without a will, that person’s property became the king’s. It was the coronae’s job to investigate deaths and determine whether a will had been written. Visit Word/Phrase Origins here For more http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html -<>- Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves. I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience. - Shelley Winters -<>- ________________________ |.----------------------.| || || || || || .-"````"-. || || / _.._ `\ || || / /` `-. ; . .|| || | |__ __ \ | || ||.-.| | e`/e` | | || || | | | | |'--|| || | | '- | | || || | \ --' /| | || || | `;---'\| | || || | | | | || || | .-' | | || ||'--|/` | |--.|| || ; . ; _.\ || || `-.;_ /.-' || || ```` || ||jgs___________________|| '------------------------' >PROVERBS FROM AROUND THE WORLD * If only the young knew; if only the old could. — France * The palest ink is better than the best memory. — China * Fall seven times, stand up eight. — Japan * Be sure to live your life, because you are a long time dead. — Scotland * If you can walk, you can dance. If you can talk, you can sing. - Zimbabwe * Talk doesn't cook rice. - China -<>- We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometry." Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with Doctor Mike Wilson. After listening to the tape, he shook his head. "This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree." -<>- ,.s,os,osos,, ((S;%(S;S)S)S)SS;, ,(;s&;SS((&%(S(;(S;)%S;, ,;(S(&((S;%S(S((;)S)S&%)));, ,))JGS%S)SSS)S(S&(;S(%))S(&(; ((&s(;((;(S(%S(;)S%S)S))S;&))S); ;)s)%)`';& 'S`. S `((%(S;&, )(&(S( .' ' .' ) )')S)), S,})&;) ' ' ' (%(&;(S% ,((%(( ___ _... )S%_))) S;));)'`___`'-. .-' __,`((/,(;(S ;((;(S(/`(_)`'-. : : .-'`(_)`\ );)|%) (S(;&( `----'` . ' `''--'` (Ss'|)) `))%))::. . ' .::)%/;(S ((S((;'::. ' . .::'('s))&) ( );;S)' . . ' `);(;S )(`%( '- -` (' )' ( ( )\ __ __ ,;) ' ) \ .;-=`:`=-;. / ( \ \`-..-'`/ / '._ `'---'` _.' '-._ _.-' `'-'` >SMART ALECK ANSWERS SMART ALECK ANSWER #5 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. _______________________ SMART ALECK ANSWER #4 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.' _______________________ SMART ALECK ANSWER #3 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.' _______________________ SMART ALECK ANSWER #2 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. _______________________ SMART ALECK ANSWER #1 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, 'Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.' -<>- >Dumbest kid in the world? A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I play this game with him." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy looks and takes the two quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, the customer leaves and he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son, may I ask you a question? Why do you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!" -<>- sSSSSSs S),, SSSS S- ?SSS S_~ SSS _.-''--. ( \ / `) \||, )( '(-` / ( \\/ /\ / \ \ \./ )==( / / / \//' ; '|\` |______/ >It’s Easy to Communicate with Each Other By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS... In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS'. With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in with the growing trend!!! Now, here goes... The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service: Room Service (RS): 'Morrin. Roon sirbees.' Guest (G): 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.' RS: ' Rye. Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???' G: 'Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.' RS: 'Ow July den?' G: '.....What??' RS: 'Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?' G: 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry... scrambled, please.' RS: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?' G: 'Crisp will be fine.' RS: 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?' G: 'What?' RS: 'An toes. July Sahn toes ?' G: 'I... don't think so' RS: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes???' G: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.' RS: 'Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?' G: 'Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine.' RS: 'We bodder?' G: 'No, just put the bodder on the side.' RS: 'Wad?!?' G: 'I mean butter... just put the butter on the side.' RS: 'Copy?' G: 'Excuse me?' RS: 'Copy...tea...meel?' G: 'Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything.' RS: 'One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy.. rye??' G: 'Whatever you say.' RS: 'Tenjooberrymuds.' G: 'You're welcome.' ================================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) 20/10 Principle! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/giving.html Here's Your Frog! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html Real Eagle Story! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/eagle.html Egg Stacking Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eggart.html Rock Balancing Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rockbalancingart.html Horse Costumes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horsecostumes.html Parenting No-No's! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting3.html Tricks For Treats! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats.html Tricks For Treats 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats2.html World's Largest Rodent! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/caplin.html -<>- >PLEASE Visit These To Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Hide and Secret http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=41730&s=n Olympics Canceled http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=42221&s=n Keyboard Invention http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=42353&s=n Nobody Knows I'm a Dog http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=42874&s=n Zulu Gems http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=41819&s=n -<>- >From Our Friend JdRogers :) This is a bit long but worth watching. It's one of my favorites. Boy and Dolphin - friendship or love http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Yfbchq0xQmQ&vq=medium#t --- ...Such a sweet heartwarmer! Thank You JdRogers! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) online accounting, invoicing, crm, and task management http://goo.gl/jGGBQ pic to icon converter http://goo.gl/vM2p2 Bible Word Search Puzzles http://goo.gl/CYI6U --- ...Wow! Great ones! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Love 2008 http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshsjjs.htm Love Boat http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshsjsdh.htm Lucha http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshkksj.htm Luckiest Man On The Planet http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshshjs.htm Lucky 1 http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshsjs.htm Work http://www.buffaloschips.com/oiw34j.htm Bumper Stickers http://www.buffaloschips.com/wi34230.htm Buck http://www.buffaloschips.com/2o3i4i.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "N.A.S.A. says they may never know where the satellite that crashed this week landed. They're planning to wait until it shows up on eBay." -Jay Leno "Police in Los Angeles are looking for vandals who broke into the Obama campaign office. They said it was probably done by someone who was angry at the president. Well, that narrows it down." -Craig Ferguson "Starting in January, couples can actually get married at McDonald's in Hong Kong. I'm not saying those marriages won't work, but when have you been to a McDonald's and not regretted it one hour later?" -Jimmy Fallon "Nissan is designing a car that will read the driver's mind. I already know what I'm going to do. I want a car that will read the other guy's mind." -Jay Leno "Recently, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg went hunting and shot and killed a bison. Just before he pulled the trigger, he said, 'Consider yourself de-friended.'" -Conan O'Brien "Well-known, veteran politicians were upended by candidates from the tea party. I've been to a lot of tea parties with my daughter and most of the people there are stuffed animals." -Jimmy Kimmel "Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own short- comings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters." --Margaret Halsey "There are two kinds of people who never amount to much: those who cannot do what they are told, and those who can do nothing else." --Cyrus Curtis "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people." --G. K. Chesterton One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our skin or the shape of our eyes or our gender instead of the unique identities of each of us as complex human beings. - Franklin Thomas >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************