Happy Columbus Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press This too hot to handle new page is from our friend Karen. It is one to give you your aww quota for the day. God sure did give us an incredible variety in this world of ours. Here is one of those that you may not have even known existed. Be sure to check it and the video out here... _,; ,-',' |\ ( ( _/ | \ \ ,-''_,' |`-._\ `.-,' ;',--'\ _...._ `.__/ / _,-'-' , `. ), () `-' , \ ; " ; , , : ,' ,' , : (_) __,' , , , : `'' \ _. ; , , | . -' , \ \ , , \ Sitatunga . , _.. , \ (Tragelaphus spekei) ' .. ,' _,' \ | \` ' ;'\ ' \ \ ;`--| ; \ \ \ \ ; ; ; ; ' : . `, ; ; ; | : ; \ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_| ; ; ; ; ; ; /_ | ; ; ; ; jrei /__: ;_ | Cute Little Antelope http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/antelope.html --- ...Aww, so adorable! Those eyes are amazing! Thanks Karen! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ____ /(( )) ( )6 6( ) (_) l (_) \ <> ) ____) (_____ ( \____/ ) ) ( )( ) ( / / \ / \ \ / / \ / \ \ \ \ )==( / / \ \ / \ / / '\\/ \//' '|\` '|\` \ / \ / ) ( jgs/akg / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ `-...., ,..-' `-..-' Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. "I started a new practice last year," the first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months." "Why in the world would you do that?" the other asked. She responded, "It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without." -<>- _ |_| | |_/ _ _ (_) _ | | | (` \) . | \ (` (` |) (_ (_) ,-.(_) | o o o / | `-' _ (_) * .|, * O -x- '|` \ \ |// | * ( %%%)%%%/%%% % -+- O _ %\%%%%%%%%(%%%%%/ | %%%%%%%%%%)%%%)%(%%\ _ %%/ __^_ _^__ \%%% (_) _|_ ) |"\=(((@))=((@)))=/"|% | ( %\_( ,`--'(_)`--'. )_/ % \ ) /%%( /______I______\ )% ) ) , _/%%%%\\\_|_|_|_|_|_///%%% ,----.-._ ( / %% %%\ `|_|_|_|_|' /%\%%\ / __ `.``. \( -%% %%%%`---.___,---'%%%% ) / / _`.__))))____` ( %% % %% \ ( @)__,._ :%## % % \ .' )`-----.%## / `' ,' Stef >Psychiatric Answering Machine Message. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ October 14 is Be Bald and Free Day, Columbus Day and National Dessert Day October 15 is White Cane Safety Day October 16 is Bosses Day and Dictionary Day October 17 is National Pasta Day and Wear Something Gaudy Day October 18 is No Beard Day October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day and Sweetest Day October 20 is Brandied Fruit Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: '\ . . |>18>> \ . ' . | O>> . 'o | \ . | /\ . | / / .' | jgs^^^^^^^`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >The Quick Thinking Son A son challenged his boastful father to a game of golf. The son was determined to beat his father in golf for the first time. On the very first swing, the father got a hole in one. "Okay, nice shot dad," said the son, thinking quickly on his feet. "Now I will take my practice shot and then we can start." -<>- >Then and Now Then: Killer weed Now: Weed killer Then: (Jack) Paar Now: AARP Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint Now: Getting a new hip joint Then: Moving to California because it's cool Now: Moving to California because it's warm Then: Being called into the principal's office Now: Calling the principal's office Then: Peace Sign Now: Mercedes Logo Then: Long hair Now: Longing for hair Then: Acid rock Now: Acid reflux Then: You're growing pot Now: Your growing pot Then: Worrying about no one coming to your party Now: Worrying about no one coming to your funeral Then: The perfect high Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund Then: Elvis in the army Now: Elvis in a UFO Then: Parents begging you to get your hair cut Now : Children begging you to get their heads shaved Then: Keg Now: EKG Then: Getting your head stoned Now: Getting your headstone Then: Swallowing acid Now: Swallowing antacid Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor Then: Passing the driving test Now: Passing the vision test -<>- >Prescription Because of an ear infection, my young son had to go to the pediatrician. I was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions to my son. When he asked, "Is there anything you are allergic to?" my son nodded and whispered in his ear. Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to me. Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse. Later, the pharmacist filled the order, remarking on the unusual food drug interaction my son must have. When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the label on the bottle. As per the doctor's instructions, it read: "Do not take with broccoli." -<>- >So What's Really Bothering You? My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu. She was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor's office for over an hour, we were finally admitted to see the doctor. After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and checking her ears, the doctor asked my daughter, "So what would you say is bothering you the most?" After a brief pause, my daughter replied, "My little brother. He always breaks my toys." -<>- >Still On My Diet A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!" -<>- >Too Rough A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?" ========================================================= ^ +~+~~ ^ )`.). )``)``) .~~ ).-'.-')|) |-).-).-'_'-/ ~~~\ `o-o-o' /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~'---.____/~~Eric C. Liebl~~~ >-->Columbus Day SMILES :) Q: What did Columbus say when he was accused of speeding through the port? A: I did knot. Q: What was Columbus’s favorite letter of the alphabet? A: C (Sea) , /:\ >:< >:< >:< ,,,,,\:/ ######### //////\\\\\ // /_\ /_\ \\ \( 0 _ 0 )/ /\\= _\ =//\ \\/\ --- /\// //\ '---' /\\ \// \\/ /\\ //\ \\/ \// # # jgs " " Q: What happened in 1492? A: Native Americans discovered Columbus. Q: Why couldn’t anyone play cards on the voyage to the Americas? A: Columbus was standing on the deck. _,--._ ,' `. |\ / ,-. ,-. \ /| )o),/ ( ( o )( o ) ) \.(o( /o/// /| `-' `-' |\ \\\o\ / / |\ \( . , )/ /| \ \ | | \o`-/ `\/' \-'o/ | | \ \ `,' `.' / / \. \ `-' ,'| /\ |`. `-' / ,/ \`. `.__,' / / \ \ `.__,' ,'/ \o\ ,' ,' `. `. /o/ \o`---' ,' `. `---'o/ `.____,' -shimrod `.____,' Q: How did the octopus make Christopher Columbus laugh? A: With ten-tickles. Q: What time was it when a whale jumped into Columbus’s boat? A: Time to get a new boat. Q: How did Columbus avoid scurvy? A: Vitamin Sea. Q: Why did it take Columbus so long to say the alphabet? A: He spend months at C. _ \'. \ '-._...- | _.-' . \ / ' ' .. / \_ ooo ' . . \ '-.__ o 'oo<. . ' \ '--._ ooooo. ' | '._ oo' 'o ' __\__ _ '. o o ( __ / \ o '--'\ | | (o)\ \ \#/ | \__ |::. .:::\ '. /:::::. :::::'._'-._____.'::::::: :::::: '----'':::::::::" :::::::::::::::: M-K Q: What did Columbus do with the blue whale? A: Cheered it up. Q: Why did the Nina crash into the dock. A: It was closer than it a-PIER-ed (Nina was one of the ships used by Columbus) Q: How was Columbus’s ship like Black Friday? A: They’re both driven by sails. Q: Who taught Christopher Columbus how to sail? A: Bo Ting. Q: Where did Christopher Columbus play checkers? A: Overboard. (\ .'. | | | | |_| kwc Q: Why did Columbus eat a candle? A: He needed a light snack. Q: Why did Columbus put one of his sailors in time-out? A: He was being naughty-cal. Q: Who was the first feline to discover America? A: Christopher Columpuss. _.-, _ .-' / .._ .-:'/ - - \:::::-. .::: ' e e ' '-::::. ::::'( ^ )_.:::::: ::::.' '. o '.::::'.'/_ . :::.' - .::::'_ _.: .-''---' .'| .::::' ''':::: '. ..-:::' | .::::' :::: '.' :::: \ .::::' :::: :::: .::::' :::: ::::.::::'._ :::: ::::::' / '- .:::: '::::-/__ __.-::::' '-::::::::::::::-' jrei '''::::''' Q: What do you get when you cross Columbus Day with Halloween? A: Ghoulumbus Day. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ,--. _ ,-%*--;_) (___,/))) ((c a( (()) c/ ,- ( / \._> =._@ / ,/ ) |\| / -'--._,-_-|_|-. \ ____,._,/-._,-' &)===( .8! . :8! | |8! | |8! | |8\____| !^oooooo ) )) , || ( || . || ) || (\._\\ gpyy\(\_\\ >SMILES Before they slid into a booth, one guy brushed crumbs off the seat and the other took a napkin and swiped at a spill on the table. The waitress came over and asked if they wanted some menus. "No thanks," said the first guy. "I'll just have a cup of black coffee." "I'll have black coffee too," said the second. "And please make sure the cup is clean." The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off into the kitchen. Two minutes later, she was back. "Two cups of black coffee," she announced. "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?" ---------- It was a typical night at the old watering hole. Jim walked in, took his seat at the bar and ordered a tall one. Then Jim told his buddy, Bill, "I called the local insane asylum yesterday to check on who has escaped from there recently." Confused by his buddy's comment, Bill asked, "Oh? Why were you wondering about that?" Jim explained, "Well, somebody married my ex-wife last week." ---------- A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!" ---------- After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?" ---------- A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman "I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen". The surprised salesman replies "But, madam, computers do not have curtains"!!!.... And the blonde said "Helloooo.... I've got Windows"!!!!!!!!! ---------- A Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. ' 'This will look nice on my mantelpiece,'' he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. ''I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now!' ' He gets his Pepsi and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. ' 'I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside.'' Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish: ' 'I wish I'd never have to work ever again.'' POOF! He's back in his office. ---------- ______________ / /| / / | /____________ / | | _________ | |____________________ | | | | |/ /|, /| | | .. | | / / /9 / | | | . | | /_______ / /9 / | | |_________| | | ____ +| /9 / | |________++___|/|________|/9 / | ________________ ,9` / / | / -/ /- /| ,9 / /| | /______________ //|,9 / / | | | ______ ||,9 / / | | | -+ |_9366_| ||/ / /| | | |_______________|/__________/ / | | | /////----------/| | /__| | |___ |o o \o| \| | | | | | |o \|_ || o|______ | |__| | |_____ |o \_ | || o| | | | | | / |o / |\ /| o| | | | |__|/ |o o| | | | |o-------------o| | | | |o /\/\ o| | | | |o / o o| o| | | | |o / \_+_/ o| | | | |o |\ \ o| | | | |o | |+ +-| o| | | | |o-------------o| | | | |o /| o| | | / m1a \/|/|/ |/\/|/\/ |____|/ Kids have a greater need for speed than classroom computers can deliver. Impatient to turn in his term paper, one restless student kept clicking the "Print" command. The printer started to churn out copy after copy of the kid's ten-page report. The topic? "Save Our Trees." ---------- A woman, whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds - and girth -was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman's pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, "Now what would it take to get you into one of these?" Looking at the Jeep's high front seat, the woman replied, "Probably a crowbar." ---------- A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!" ---------- One day while driving through a neighborhood near his church, Pastor John saw a little boy on a front porch, struggling trying to reach the doorbell. Feeling like he needed to help the young fellow, he stopped his car and got out to help. He pressed the doorbell for him and said, in a teaching way, "Now what do we do?" "Now," the boy said, laughing, "we run!" --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: . . . ' s \ ' . . . : , a ` c - i . b \ _ ' . i o O . - }{' o . . O - Basements are notorious for developing musty smells. A musty smell in your basement is typically caused by mildew or mold, which both thrive in damp, dark locations. Mold and mildew don't just smell - they can also cause decay and damage to your home, and their presence may lead to health problems like allergies or asthma. It's important to keep your basement free of musty odors and the presence of mold to maintain a healthy home. If you smell mold in your basement, try some of these steps to assess and fix the problem. * Check for condensation and water leaks. Sometimes basements are just damp. It's a consequence of being underground, but moisture could also be coming from a water leak or condensation. If it's something simple like condensation on your pipes you can eliminate or reduce the problem yourself by wrapping them with insulation. A more serious problem like a sewer backup or a crack in the foundation will likely require professional help, but unless you address the source of the moisture the problem will keep coming back. * Dry out the basement. Use dehumidifiers to remove moisture from the air in your basement. If your basement has windows, keep them open for a few hours and use a fan to circulate fresh air into the room. * Kill the mold. White, distilled vinegar has the ability to kill 82 percent of mold spores. Use a mixture of 50/50 water and vinegar in a spray bottle and heavily mist all affected areas. * Maintenance. To keep recurring odors to a minimum try placing charcoal briquettes around the basement. Yes, the kind you use in your barbecue grill (just be sure NOT to use the easy light kind with the lighter fluid in them). You can deploy them anyway you like, but briquettes do leave behind charcoal dust so it is best to contain them. A dozen or so in two or three pie pans placed around the basement is a popular method. I have also filled a few old (but clean!) gym socks with briquettes and placed them in inconspicuous places. If you have a finished or semi-finished basement a fresh paint job will do a long way to eliminating odors. If the drywall itself is a cause of the odor make sure you use a good oder-blocking primer. -<>- _____ /.---.\ |`````| \ / `-.-' ____ | /\ .' /\ __|__ |K----; | | jgs`-----` \/ '.___\/ >'Go Green' Hint: Glass is something that frequently gets overlooked as a recyclable because it is just so abundant. Silica is most commonly found in nature as sand and it is a principal component of most types of glass. However, glass still requires a large amount of energy to produce. The Glass Packaging Institute states recycled glass uses only two-thirds the energy needed to manufacture glass from raw materials. And unlike some other products, like paper, glass can be recycled indefinitely. For every ton of recycled glass, 1.2 tons of raw materials are not required and after taking into account transport and processing needed to recycle glass, nearly 700 pounds of carbon dioxide is saved per ton of glass melted for the purposes of making bottles and jars. Recycled glass isn't just used for making more bottles - it can be turned into fiberglass (which is also used in house insulation), and as a component of bricks. Glass can be recycled indefinitely. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Trump Picks Trey Gowdy to Help in Impeachment Fight https://tinyurl.com/y5vwhzxu Ukraine President Explains to Reporters no Blackmail Existed https://tinyurl.com/y2gtyr8z Westwing News: Ukraine Smoke and Mirrors https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: Under this President, comprehensive technology— including a real barrier that stops all forms of smuggling—will keep America’s borders safe, strong, and secure! https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: There is a lot you can say about Floridians. Some of it even good. But there is one thing no one can argue about; their special relationship with gators. They love them, they hate them, they keep them as pets and they eat them for dinner. But I think everything you need to know about how a Floridian feels about alligators can be summed up by today's story. A Florida man is accused of enticing an alligator to bite his arm and pouring beer into the reptile's mouth after his friend caught the animal. Timothy Kepke, 27, and Noah Osborne, 22, were both arrested on one felony charge each of unlawfully taking an alligator. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission got a complaint about Kepke holding an alligator and enticing the reptile to bite his right forearm and then pouring beer in the animal's mouth. The interaction was filmed, records show. After the beer is poured, the alligator aggressively reacts. Kepke told officers Osborne caught the reptile with his bare hands After Osborne caught the alligator, Kepke told officers he enticed it to bite him and then poured beer into its mouth. The pair then released the gator alive, Kepke told officers. Kepke also told officers he had a couple of beers, but wasn't drunk when the incident happened. Yeah, that's believable. -<>- When you were a kid, did you ever use the old 'but everybody else was doing it' argument with your mother, only to be told, 'If everybody else jumped off a cliff would you jump too?' Thanks to the Internet, we now know that a lot of kids would. True to the cess pool that it is, the Internet has been circulating so-called 'challenge' videos of kids lighting themselves on fire using flammable liquids like rubbing alcohol. One poor victim was dumb enough to think it was a cool idea. He was wrong. A 12-year-old Michigan boy is recovering from second degree burns after being set ablaze in what is being described as a social media challenge. Tabitha Cleary of Dearborn Heights, Michigan, told local news that her son Jason suffered second degree burns to his chin, chest and stomach after he was set on fire at a friend's house. Her son's injuries are thought to be due to the "fire challenge" in which children pour a flammable liquid like rubbing alcohol on themselves, and then ignite it. Videos of such attempts have been making their way around the Internet for several years. Amazingly, the burns were the result of the SECOND time Jason and his friends tried to set himself on fire. They weren't getting a good enough ignition, so they tried nail polish remover. "The first time it was like, a little tiny fire. Then they swatted it off," Jason said, "The second time it engulfed, and they kept spraying it on me." His parents rushed him to the hospital. "I just want everybody to know that these challenges, or whatever they're watching, is not worth your risking your life," Cleary said. "My son got burned second degree, and it could have been way worse." *--- Ol' Bucket Head Spotted Again ---* A kangaroo first spotted in the wild with a bucket stuck on its head five months ago has resurfaced, still alive and still struggling with the bucket. Residents of the Noosa area of Queensland said the young eastern gray kangaroo, nicknamed "Bucket Head" by locals, was first spotted about five months ago with the handle of a bucket stuck around its neck. Concerned members of the public attempted to capture the marsupial to remove the bucket, but were unsuccessful. A resident shared photos on Facebook after Bucket Head resurfaced Thursday near Lake MacDonald. The resident, William Watson, said Bucket Head appears to have been rejected from his mob and is being stalked by foxes, but appears to be able to eat and drink. He is asking residents who spot the kangaroo to contact local wildlife rescuers so they can attempt to remove the bucket. *--- This Won't Last Long ---* A Missouri bar is trying out an unusual business model -- charging customers by the hour instead of by the drink. The St. Louis bar, named Open Concept, charges customers by the hour to enjoy unlimited numbers of drinks that vary depending on the price package, which averages $10. "At our bar we don't sell drinks, we sell time," the website states. The bar offers food only on "Taco Tuesday" and "Bottomless Brunch" days, but the owners said customers are free to order delivery at any time. Open Concept's website offers the choice to book a drinking in advance and offers full refunds for anyone who misses their appointment. [I think I have a better name for this bar: Going Out of Business.] *-- Zach Galifianakis Not Involved in Giraffe Death --* When we saw Zach Galifianakis murder a giraffe by driving it under an overpass in the last 'Hangover' movie, we all laughed because the very idea is ridiculous. Of course, that movie wasn't set in Africa. It wasn't so funny when a South African man did that very thing in the capital of Pretoria. The moments before the accident were caught on camera by a horrified fellow driver who described hearing a loud crack. Engineer Thinus Botha took the photo of the two giraffes after driving next to the truck for half a mile. He decided to pull over to capture the moment - and witnessed the gruesome accident seconds later. South Africa's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals told local media the giraffe has since died and the truck driver could face criminal charges. *--- Underwater Pumpkin Carving ---* Teams of divers ventured about 30 feet beneath the Atlantic Ocean off Florida's Key Largo to create sub-aquatic jack-o- lanterns for the annual Underwater Pumpkin Carving Contest. Organizers said about two dozen people, competing in teams of two, went scuba diving with pumpkins and carving tools Saturday in the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary for the annual event. Josephine Walker and Stephanie McClary, a team hailing from Detroit, took first place with a pumpkin carved to show two moray eels swimming in circles around a heart. The winners received a free dive trip for two at Key Largo's Amoray Dive Resort. Participants said the carving was made more challenging by the fact that their pumpkins were naturally trying to float away to the surface of the water. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: ,/ \, ((__,-"""-,__)) `--)~ ~(--` >Nothing to Wear It's Halloween and this woman has nothing to wear. She puts a sheet over her and sticks horns on it and goes to work. A co-worker asks her what she is dressed as. She replies, "Bull Sheet". -<>- ___-------___ _-~~ ~~-_ _-~ /~-_ /^\__/^\ /~ \ / \ /| O|| O| / \_______________/ \ | |___||__| / / \ \ | \ / / \ \ | (_______) /______/ \_________ \ | / / \ / \ \ \^\\ \ / \ / \ || \______________/ _-_ //\__// \ ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~ ~\ || __/ ~-----||====/~ |==================| |/~~~~~ (_(__/ ./ / \_\ \. (_(___/ -jurcy- \_____)_) >What Are You Supposed To Be? A guy named Bob goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Bob: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Bob: The girl on my back is Michelle. -<>- >Bathroom Screams A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming in there? You're scaring the customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes me privates. With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You Idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!" -<>- >Customer Service A paperboy said to a customer one day, "Mr. Smith, I wish I had twenty customers like you." "Gosh, that's nice to hear," said Smith, "but I'm kind of surprised considering I never tip all that well and always pay late." The paperboy said, "I know, but I'd still like twenty customers like you. The problem is I have one hundred and forty!" -<>- ____ ___ | _ \ ___ _ _.' _ `. _ | [_) )' _ `._ _ ___ ! \ | | (_) | _ |:;.| _ <| (_) | \ | |' _ `| \| | _ | .:;| | `.[_) ) _ | \| | (_) | | | | |.',..| ':. `. /| | | | | _ | |\ | | |.' :;::' !::, `-!_| | | |\ | | | | | \ !_!.' ':;! !::; ":;:!.!.\_!_!_!.!-'-':;:'' '''! ';:' `::;::;' '' ., . `: .,. `' .::... . .::;::;' `..:;::;:.. ::;::;:;:;, :;::;' "-:;::;:;: ':;::;:'' ;.-' ""`---...________...---'"" Bugbyte >Q and A Quickies Q: What fruit teases you a lot? A: A ba..na..na..na..na..na..na! Q: How can you tell if a calendar is popular? A: It has a lot of dates! Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans? A: With a cabbage patch. Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night? A: Tweets. Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A: His ghoul friend. .-. ( " ) /\_.' '._/\ | | \ / \ /` (__) / jgs`.__.' Q: When does a ghost have breakfast? A: In the moaning. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last week we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'That's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' -<>- I was traveling through Georgia last summer and stopped at a little backwoods country store. In the men's room there was a handwritten sign above the malfunctioning potty which said, "Please Wiggel Handel". Below that some wit had written, "If I do, will it wiggel Bach?" -<>- While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down. Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, "Have any of the items you plan to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?" The young mother replied honestly, "The luggage, no; the children, yes." -<>- _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier's window and smiled. "I'd like to cash this check, please," she said, handing it over. The teller examined the check and said: "Could you identify yourself, Miss?" For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes! It's me, all right!" The clerk said, "No Ma'am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification." The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. "This is a recent family photo," she explained. "That's me, third from the left." -<>- A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!" -<>- ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy >ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS: Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species. Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards. The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers. The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation. The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours. To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle. When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier. For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose. For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: __ (`/\ `=\/\ __...--~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~--...__ `=\/\ \ / \\ `=\/ V \\ //_\___--~~~~~~-._ | _.-~~~~~~--...__\\ // ) (..----~~~~._\ | /_.~~~~----.....__\\ ===( INK )==========\\|//==================== __ejm\___/________dwb`---`____________________________ Here is something from a novel (Jane Heller, Name Dropping) I just read: I was very happy for my friend. She had waited a long time for Stan, just as I had waited a long time for Bill, the difference being that she was at the beginning cycle with Stan, the wash cycle, whereas I was at the ending cycle with Bill, the rinse cycle. Yes, that's it, I thought. Being in a relationship is like doing laundry; when it's over you hope that everything comes out clean. -<>- _ \`*-. ) _`-. . : `. . : _ ' \ ; *` _. `*-._ `-.-' `-. ; ` `. :. . \ . \ . : .-' . ' `+.; ; ' : : ' | ; ;-. ; ' : :`-: _.`* ; [bug] .*' / .*' ; .*`- +' `*' `*-* `*-* `*-*' >A Kitty's Prayer by Kathy W. Now I lay me down to sleep, The king-size bed is soft and deep.. I sleep right in the center groove. My human here can hardly move! I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight, And here is where I pass the night. No one disturbs me or dares intrude Till morning comes, and "I want food!" I sneak up slowly to begin my nibbles on my human's chin. She wakes up quickly, I have sharp teeth- And my claws I will unsheathe. For the morning's here and it's time to play always seem to get my way. So thank you Lord for giving me This human person that I see. The one who hugs me and holds me tight And sacrifices her bed at night! -<>- .---. /_____\__ .===. _ _ `\/6.6\/--` / _/\ \ / )%.===.%( \ ( _ ) \/6.6\/ | // ,,, \\ | ,'---', ( _ ) \/ \/6.6\/ \/ .===. / _ \ _)---(_ /\ ( _ ) /\ / ,,, \ /\/ (_) \/\ / `~` \ ^^ /()-()\ ^^ ( /6.6\ ) .=@=. \ | (_) | / /\/ \/\ / /o o\ \ )( _ )( / \ \| |/ \ | | / (._\ Y /_.) (_/;---;\_) \ 6.6 / |_____| \|_____|/ (O_`&`_O) / `"*"` \ ( _ ) | | | | L | / / \ \ ( (_.@._) ) .-'---'-. | | | |__|__| / ()/^\() \ /'._\|/_.'\ / . . \ \__|__/ | | | /. . . . . . .\ /. . . . . .\ _/ /| , |\ \_ |_|_| |_|_| `"`"`|`|`|`"`"` `"`"|"|"|"`"` (__/{`"==="`}\__) jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ /\_ _/\ (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) _| /`"`\ |_ ( \ / \ / ) \_/ \_/ >"Donna's Brownie Recipe" *Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. *Melt one cup margarine in saucepan. *Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Nathan, "No, No!" *Add margarine to two cups sugar. *Take shortening can away from Nathan and clean cupboards. *Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. *Take shortening can away from Nathan again and bathe dog. *Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from dog's tail. *Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour. *Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. *Take telephone away from Ellie and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call AT&T and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill. *Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts, and beat all ingredients well. *Let dog out of pantry. *Pour mixture into well greased 9x 13-inch pan. *Bake 25 minutes. *Rescue dog and take razor away from Mitch. *Explain to Jared, Brenda, Ellie and Mitch that you have no idea if shaved dogs will sunburn. *Throw dog outside while there's still time and she's still able to run away. \\\ ____ ________``` \ =|- [________] \ | =| | _ | | \ __ ejm |__=|- O--(_) `.______.' \ O=======(__) /|\ (/(|(\ Frosting Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 1/4 cup margarine *Take teddy bear out of the broiler and throw it away -- far away. *Answer the door and meekly explain to the nice policeman that you didn't know Nathan had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. * Put Nathan in playpen. *Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. *Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Mitch having stuck a garden hose in a man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for damaged carpet. *Tie Mitch to clothesline. *Remove burned brownies from oven. -<>- ______ ______ _/ Y \_ // ~~ ~~ | ~~ ~ \\ // ~ ~ ~~ | ~~~ ~~ \\ Original Unknown //________.|.________\\ Diddled by David Issel `----------`-'----------' >WORD & PHRASE ORIGINS Column From Texasgypsy: "STRAIGHT-LACED" Ladies wore corsets which would lace up in the front. A tightly tied lace was worn by a proper and dignified lady as in "straight laced." "PLAYING WITH A FULL DECK" Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "ace of spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full deck." "GOSSIP" Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what was considered important to the people. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs and bars who were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times ... "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and thus, we have the term "gossip." --- ...See More Here: Word/Phrase Origins! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit Ingenious Business Names! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/businessnames.html Amazing Human Body! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanbody.html Honoring Nature http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/honornature.html Harvest Moonbow!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moonbow.html Beautiful Bridges 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges2.html Fire Rainbow Cloud!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firerainbow.html Real Fantasy Trees 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trees2.html Extreme Dog Grooming!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doggrooming.html Rainbow Eucalyptus Tree!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rainbowtree.html Lighthouses Of The World!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lighthouses.html Holland Parade Of Flowers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerparade.html Northern Lights Over Teepees!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teepees.html Colorful Birds 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birds3.html All Occasion cakes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aocakes.html City That Time Forgot http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/city.html Fall And Halloween INDEX https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- PANDAS AT PLAY http://tinyurl.com/n26q9k4 19 Cats Who Are Totally Bad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjmO7Du9Z3g&feature=em-share_video_user 10 Amazing Halloween Life Hacks You Should Know! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-yrsJJXUGU&feature=em-share_video_user -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) What is the first thing a Japanese baby does? https://youtu.be/J2x_R4CrtUo Mr. Bean's hilarious encounter with the 'Tour de France' cycling race. https://youtu.be/eH7EyPs_Va8 Best known to the public as Mr. Bean, comedian Rowan Atkinson tells a funny story at the Graham Norton Show. https://youtu.be/e1t-OOyePuw --- ...HaHa! Hilarious! Thanks LouiseAu! David Blaine performs some amazing card tricks at The Tonight Show before freaking everyone out with an illusion no one expects. https://youtu.be/Z8Ws4PEky28 Magician Dom Chambers does what Australians do best on America's Got Talent 2019. https://youtu.be/Lw7Qq6XFZ0k --- ...Sweet! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- Revisiting... >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Just when you think it's another lip-syncing video to the most overplayed song of the year, something hilarious happens. I just love this dad and his cheeky daughter! You have to see what they do. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC0YCvetfKc&feature=player_embedded You're never too old to find true love! Just ask this 100-year-old bride who's finally found the love of her life. She's got an incredibly unique perspective after living through a hundred years of weddings. You have to see what she did with hers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qIyTVH_ldHY You have to see what this sea lion at the National Zoo does with a little girl. It's just like a puppy! But then something happens at :30 seconds in that makes this cute video even cuter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=owkdOWdEMU8 --- ...Sweet! Aww, worried that she fell down! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather - because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency of government with the accuracy of weathermen?" -Jimmy Fallon "Scientists in northern California and Oregon found that marijuana gardens are threatening the salmon population. I don't see the problem, really. Everyone loves baked salmon." -Seth Meyers "Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they found him. Which means now when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say, 'Yes! He is dead though. That's why you didn't get that bike.'" -James Corden "Google just released a pair of headphones that can translate 40 languages instantly. They say it's a great way to travel to a new country and find out everyone's making fun of you." -Jimmy Fallon "Germany has just rolled out a new law banning hate speech. The law is tricky to implement because everything sounds like hate speech when it's spoken in German." -Conan O'Brien "Scientists have invented a way for you to change channels on your TV with gestures. Yeah, it's great for people who like watching sports completely still. 'Wow! What a catch - nobody move! Oh, now we're watching Lifetime.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A new study has determined that people in relationships can detect infidelity in their partner's voice. Especially when their voice says, 'You're home early!'" -Seth Meyers "A New York fitness expert has released an exercise book for nuns called, 'Changing Habits: The Sister's Workout.' The Vatican rejected the original title, 'Nuns of Steel.'" --Conan O'Brien "According to a new report, Nigeria owes New York City over $500,000 in unpaid parking tickets for its foreign diplomats. Nigeria apologized and said they'll pay the fines right away if we send them our bank account number, our PIN, and our mother's maiden name." -Seth Meyers Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. -- William Feather What makes us desire new friends is not so much the weariness of our old ones, or the pleasure of change, as the hope of being more admired by those who do not know us so well. (Unknown) If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -- Catherine Aird >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************