Happy Dyngus Day ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ _ \`*-. ) _`-. . : `. . : _ ' \ ; *` _. `*-._ `-.-' `-. ; ` `. :. . \ . \ . : .-' . ' `+.; ; ' : : ' | ; ;-. ; ' : :`-: _.`* ; [bug] .*' / .*' ; .*`- +' `*' `*-* `*-* `*-*' *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ . ,. T."-._..---.._,-"/| l|"-. _.v._ (" | [l /.'_ \; _~"-.`-t Y " _(o} _{o)._ ^.| j T ,--. T ] \ l ( /-^-\ ) ! ! \. \. "~" ./ /c-..,__ ^r- .._ .- .-" `- . ~"--. > \. \ ] ^. \ 3 . "> . Y -Row ,.__.--._ _j \ ~ . ; | ( ~"-._~"^._\ ^. ^._ I . l "-._ ___ ~"-,_7 .Z-._ 7" Y ; \ _ /" "~-(r r _/_--._~-/ / /,.--^-._ / Y "-._ '"~~~>-._~]>--^---./____,.^~ ^.^ ! ~--._ ' Y---. \./ ~~--._ l_ ) \ ~-._~~~---._,____..--- \ ~----"~ \ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first too hot to handle new page is from our friend Geniann. It shows us some very innovative ways to decorate what otherwise might be just rather large plain panels. Be sure to check this out for a little amusement. @ @ @ []___ / /\____ (~) /_/\_//____/\ | | || |||__||| unknown Garage Door Art 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/garageart2.html --- ...Absolutely love this! Thanks Geniann! Our second red hot sizzling new page is from our friend Linda. It is one that will give you a little eye candy while reaffirming those important things we have found to be so very important and true but often taken for granite in our lives. Check this one out here... __ /_/\/\ \_\ / /_/ \ \_\/\ \ \_\/ unknown Important Life Truths http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetruths.html --- ...A lovely one with much wisdom! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _..--""-. .-""--.._ _.-' \ __...----...__ / '-._ .' .:::...,' ',...:::. '. ( .'``'''::; ;::'''``'. ) \ '-) (-' / \ / \ / \ .'.-. .-.'. / \ | \0| |0/ | / | \ | .-==-. | / | \ `/`; ;`\` / '.._ (_ | .-==-. | _) _..' `"`"-`/ `/' '\` \`-"`"` / /`; .==. ;`\ \ .---./_/ \ .==. / \ \ / '. `-.__) | `" | =(`-. '==. ; jgs \ '. `-. / \_:_) `"--.....-' A jeweler watched as a huge truck pulled up in front of his store. The back came down and an elephant walked out. It broke one of the windows with its tusk and then, using its trunk like a vacuum cleaner sucked up all of the jewelry. The elephant then got back in the truck and it disappeared out of sight. When the jeweler finally regained his senses he called the police. The detectives came and he told them his story. "Could you describe the elephant?" the cop asked. "An elephant is an elephant," he replied. "You've seen one you've seen them all. What do you mean 'describe' him?" "Well," said the policeman, "there are two types of elephants, African and Indian. The Indian elephant has smaller ears and is not as large as the African elephant." "I can't help you out," said the frustrated jeweler, "he had a stocking pulled over his head." -<>- A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts." Her mother replied, "that's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" Later that day another couple were over for dinner. The woman began to feel bad. Holding her head she said, "I have such a terrible headache!" The little girl looked up at her giving her the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" -<>- A guy went into the greasy spoon next to his office and ordered a tuna on wheat. The waitress said, "Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of wheat bread. You'll have to have it on white." The next day he went to the same place and ordered the same tuna on wheat. Again he was told that they were out of wheat, he'd have to get it on white again. The third time he went there he decided to skip the step of being refused the wheat and just ordered tuna on white. The waitress looked up from her notepad and said, "Aren't you the guy who usually orders it on wheat?" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ April 17 is Bat Appreciation Day, Blah, Blah, Blah Day, Dyngus Day National Cheeseball Day, Patriot's Day, and Pet Owners Independence Day April 18 is International Juggler's Day and Newspaper Columnists Day April 19 is National Garlic Day and Look Alike Day April 20 is National High Five Day and Volunteer Recognition Day April 21 is Kindergarten Day April 22 is Girl Scout Leader Day and National Jelly Bean Day April 23 is Lover's Day, National Zucchini Bread Day, Take a Chance Day and World Laboratory Day ======================================================= >-->Happy Dyngus Day! _ _(_)_ wWWWw _ @@@@ (_)@(_) vVVVv _ @@@@ (___) _(_)_ @@()@@ wWWWw (_)\ (___) _(_)_ @@()@@ Y (_)@(_) @@@@ (___) `|/ Y (_)@(_) @@@@ \|/ (_)\ / Y \| \|/ /(_) \| |/ | \ | \ |/ | / \ | / \|/ |/ \| \|/ jgs|// \\|/// \\\|//\\\|/// \|/// \\\|// \\|// \\\|// ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Historically a Polish and Polish-American tradition, Dyngus Day celebrates the end of the often restrictive observance of lent and the joy of Easter. Over the decades, Dyngus Day has become a wonderful holiday to celebrate Polish-American culture, heritage and traditions. Buffalo, New York is unofficially the Dyngus Capital of America with the largest concentration of festival locations and live polka music. Smaller festivals can be found in communities with sizable Polish-America populations such as South Bend in Indiana, Chicago in Illinois, Elizabeth in New Jersey, Bristol in Connecticut and Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania. Celebrations in South Bend kick off the political campaign season in the City. Hot to celebrate As the popular polka anthem explains, "Everybody’s Polish on Dyngus Day!” Many parties begin during the mid-morning on the Monday after Easter with a large buffet of traditional Easter foods (kielbasa, ham, fresh breads, and eggs). It is common to hear polka music on Dyngus Day with the mandatory dancing of at least one polka. Many parties continue well into daylight on Tuesday. More Interesting Read on this day here: http://polishplate.com/articles/dyngus-day,1.html ============================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: | A (§) o________________________________ |$o`"Y888888888 $$ 888888888P"'o$| |."$$o`"Y888888 $$ 888888P"'o$$".| |8bo."$$o`"Y888 $$ 888P"'o$$".od8| |8888bo."$$o`"J $$ P"'o$$".od8888| |8888888bo.$$oj $$ L$$".od8888888| |"""""""""""""" $$ """"""""""""""| |$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$| |=============; $$ :=============| |888888888P"'o| $$ |o`"Y888888888| |888888P"'o$$"j $$ l"$$o`"Y888888| |888P"'o$$".od8 $$ 8bo."$$o`"Y888| |P"'o$$".od8888 $$ 8888bo."$$o`"J| |o$$".od8888888 $$ 8888888bo.$$ojf |""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""' | | Jan Foerster | | >UK Visit If you are planning to visit the United Kingdom and happen to come from one of the countries that drive on the wrong side of the road, the following advice from the Ministry of Transport is for you: "Visitors are informed that in the United Kingdom traffic drives on the left-hand side of the road. In the interests of safety, you are advised to practice this in your country of origin for a week or two before driving in the United Kingdom." -<>- >Childish Thinking Catching her in the act, I confronted our 3-year-old granddaughter, "Are you eating your little sister's grapes?" I demanded. "No," she innocently replied, "I'm helping her share." -<>- >Ladder My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, he responded, "Tell you the truth, it's not even my ladder. It belongs to my dad." -<>- >Spells It I am a nurse in a dermatology office. When I bring young patients in, I try to set them at ease by starting a conversation. In this case, our new patient was a 7- or 8-year-old girl. I introduced myself by saying, "Hi, my name is Lynda... what's your name?" She told me her name and then said with a big smile, "My aunt's name is Linda, too!" I replied, "Oh, does she spell it with an "i" or a "y?" Her smile was replaced with a puzzled look. "I think she spells it with an L." -<>- >Short History of Medicine I have an earache... 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) | | _ | _/=\_ | _/=====\_ | '-\-' / \ ' , ' /(o)| __)-(____ /|^^^| / <\/> __/_|\/^| / /| : | /__|^^^| / / | : |/___|^^^| /_/ }===={)___|^^^|\ .-. ((' |) (| )__|^^^|_\ ______/o ) \\ | | )_|^^^|/ \----- ( / _____ '\ | | | \|^^^| \ / \ // ||||| ___\| | |____|^^^|__________\ / \\\\///__||||| /___)| | |___///|\\\_____=____\_/(___\\)/___|()|| /___( |__|_|__////|\\\\ __ ___-______| | \____||||| /__=__)(___)__)^^^^^^^^^( ;__________| |______||||| /_____(___________________)___________" "____=__||||| ________________________________________________||||| ||||| _________ |OOShy >SMILES A man called home to his wife and said, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his Friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas." The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to Do?" The wife replied, "Oh but I did. They're in your fishing box!" ------------ "Dad, there's a guy outside running around half naked." "Quick! Pass me my phone I'm going to call the police." Later that day... "Dad, there's a half naked woman running around outside" "Quick! pass me my phone." "Good idea, are you going to call the police, again?" "No, it's got a built in camera." ------------ There were 3 friends stranded in an island. Exploring the island, the 3 men found a bottle so they opened it. A genie came out, and she said that she would grant them 3 wishes. The first man said, "I wish I was with my family" then poof he was with his family. The second guy said "I wish I was in a bar with my friends" then poof he was gone. The third guy was feeling bad and the genie asked, "What's wrong?" The man said, "I'm lonely I wish I was with my friends." Poof, his two friends were back in the island. ------------ Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five dots. ------------ An Irishman walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Murph, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, huh?" The Irishman says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!" The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round. Monday evening arrives. The Irishman comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!" The Irishman looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me too?" -------- Two professional counselors, Bob and Mary had been in practice together for many years. Throughout their careers they had become personally and professionally inseparable. They were excellent psychotherapists, and had extensive experience with clients with a wide range of presenting problems. As time passed, their discussions with each other progressed from the profane to the religious. They speculated about the existence and nature of the afterlife. They promised that whomever of them died first would come back to tell the other: (1) Whether there is an afterlife; and, (2) Whether they could practice psychotherapy in heaven. Bob passed away first. After some time had elapsed, and Mary was well along in grieving over his loss, Bob appeared to her early one morning. Mary was ecstatic. "Tell me," she cried, "is there an after life, and is psychotherapy practiced in heaven?" Bob responded, "I have good news, more good news, and bad news! The first good news is: There is an afterlife! The next good news is: Psychotherapy is indeed practiced in heaven. And the bad news is: You see your first client there at 10:00 A.M.!" ------------ The kids in the neighborhood held an election. The grownups were astonished that a four-year-old had been elected president. "That boy must be a born leader," one dad observed. "How does it happen that all you bigger boys voted for him?" "Well, you see, Dad," one lad replied, "he cannot very well be secretary because he does not know how to write. He would not do for treasurer because he is not able to count. He would never do for sergeant-at-arms because he is too little to throw anybody out. If we did not choose him for anything, he would feel bad. So we made him president." ------------ Emerging from the chiropractor's treatment room, a young man said aloud to his friend waiting for him in the crowded waiting room, "I feel like a new man!" "I do, too," a middle-aged woman responded, "but I'll probably go home to the same old one." ------------ A newlywed sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for two years. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife quite badly so he decided to write her a letter. "My darling," he wrote, "It looks like we're going to be apart for a very long time and already I'm starting to miss you. There's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, young attractive topless native girls in grass skirts constantly surround us. Maybe if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be so tempted." So his wife sent him back a harmonica with a book of music, saying, "Why don't you learn to play this?" Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling," he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!" "First," she said, "I'd like to hear you play that harmonica!" -------- Once, there was a man who was so upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor. "Father, I am sinful." "Yes son, just tell me what have you done, the Lord will forgive you." "Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been 3 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her." "That's bad my boy, fortunately you realize your mistake." "Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, but nobody was around except for one of her colleagues, so I slept with her too." "That's not very good of you." "Father, last month, I went to her uncle's house to look for her, nobody was around except for her auntie, and I slept with her too." "Father? ......... Father?" suddenly this guy realized that there was no response from the Father, he walked over and discovered that the Pastor was not there. So he began searching for him. "Father? Where are you?" He searched high and low, and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano. "Father, why are you hiding here?" "Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me." --------- A U.S. Navy captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the captain decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of love makin was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A commander chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work. A lieutenant said it was 50-50%. An ensign responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time. There being no consensus, the captain turned to the seaman who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion? Without any hesitation, the young seaman responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure." The Captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why? " Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them." --- ...Oh Gee! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk. ^ | + | | | | | A === ________ /EEE\ |______| //EEE\\ |*( )*| ejm 97 ___//_____\\_____________|O| |O|_______ bye bye ---------- __o _ ~ ,_ ==c/ -------- _ \<,_ (*)\/(*) (\/\ ------- (*)/ (*) The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of single malt there after. Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he has just been arrested. The Englishman answers with humor: "No! Do you know that this is a British car and that my wife is the driver... on the other side?" --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks Linda! -<>- >Story Time - NOW, THIS IS A TEACHER! In September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a History teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks in her classroom. When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks. 'Ms. Cothren, where are our desks?' She replied, 'You can't have a desk until you tell me how you earn the right to sit at a desk.' They thought, 'Well, maybe it's our grades.' 'No,' she said. 'Maybe it's our behavior.' She told them, 'No, it's not even your behavior.' And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom. Kids called their parents to tell them what was happening and by early afternoon television news crews had started gathering at the school to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room. The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the desk-less classroom. Martha Cothren said, 'Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he or she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.' At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it. Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniform, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall. By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned. Martha said, 'You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. They went halfway around the world, giving up their education and interrupting their careers and families so you could have the freedom you have. Now, it's up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget it.' By the way, this is a true story. And this teacher was awarded the Veterans of Foreign Wars Teacher of the Year for the State of Arkansas in 2006. She is the daughter of a WWII POW. --- ...I Love this one! Thanks Linda! Yes it is true! Maybe someone should tell this story to some of our disrespectful NFL and sport players who have forgotten the meaning of our US Flag and those who gave their life to defend it for freedom's sake! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: WH Home https://www.whitehouse.gov/ WH 1600 Daily https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily WH Easter Egg Roll http://tinyurl.com/kowvhro History WH Easter Roll http://tinyurl.com/medpv5y Trump To Be Given Rare High Honor... Last Was Reagan http://tinyurl.com/mde9lam WHOA! Report: CNN’s Ongoing Cover-Up Of Obama’s Trump-Spying http://tinyurl.com/n7hae26 SHOCK – Berkeley Cops Stand Down While Trump Supporters Are Viciously Attacked By Antifa Leftists http://tinyurl.com/k2lwhjw Judge Napolitano VINDICATED! Obama Used British Intelligence to Spy on Trump [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/mp7pkrh BREAKING: Maxine Waters BUSTED! http://tinyurl.com/mxbhj46 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Just like the famous story back in the day about how a mountail lion attacked Roy Rogers while he was out riding around his ranch and tore off one of his brand new boots; a Northern California family also had a close call with one of the brazen mountain cats. Mark Dolph said he was preparing a meal with his family in their rural, mountainous Pollock Pines, Calif., home when they heard their cats raising a ruckus by the front door. "I look and I see the door ajar," Dolph said, "but then I looked down right here at the steps and the mountain lion had its head and front paws about three steps down." Dolph quickly herded his family into a pantry, armed him- self with a pinata bat and called 911. Police arrived at the home about a half hour later, but the cougar had already left. Dolph said the mountain lion made a mess in the kitchen, breaking several dishes and somehow managed to turn on the water faucet. He said the family's cats hid and survived the invasion. The mountain lion, also referred to as a cougar, apparently got inside by opening an unlocked door, Dolph said. The U.S. Forest Service says mountain lions prefer to avoid confrontation with humans and the chances of encountering one are quite small. Other cougar encounters have occurred this year, however, including a particularly aggressive mountain lion that walked right up to a Canadian woman's home and bared its teeth -- while she filmed from the other side of the window. -<>- A man carrying what was described as a "samurai" sword was tackled by a worker inside a Pennsylvania bar. Tina Malachi, a server in Rookie's Craft Burger Bar, said the man, who wasn't wearing a shirt, walked in and sat at the bar. When he got up and walked into the pool room she asked him to put on a shirt, which is when she saw the sword. Another employee sitting at the bar stood up and looked at the man, and the man then raised the sword up with both arms, said the worker. The employee ducked under the man's arms and grabbed him from behind, tackling him to the ground, assisted by some customers. They held him down until police arrived. The man was arrested for summary warrants and the sword was confiscated, said Capt. Gabriel Olivera of Harrisburg police. *-------------- Now THAT'S a Cube --------------* A group of students at the University of Michigan's Engineering program built what is believed to be the largest hand-solvable, stationary Rubik's Cube. The massive 1,500 pound puzzle was unveiled at the university's North campus in an event streamed on Facebook Live. "There is no other human-manipulable cube like this, to the best of our knowledge," a spokesperson for the group said. "So to be very precise, it is the world's largest stationary, human manipulable Rubik's cube." "It took over my life, but it no longer is a project," Noel Perkins, a professor of mechanical engineering, who served as an advisor for the group said. "My dream for the cube would be to bring joy and inspiration to anyone who ever uses it and solves it. If it does that, there's nothing I'd rather be behind at UM." *----------------- Tanks a Lot -----------------* A British man who buys and restores old tanks made a surprising discovery in a former Iraqi Army tank -- five gold bars worth about $1.4 million. Nick Mead, a collector and owner of Tanks A Lot, a tank restoration business, said he recently saw the Chinese Type 69 tank listed on eBay and he was able to barter it for a retired British Army truck and Abbot self-propelled howitzer. Todd Chamberlain, one of Mead's mechanics, was working on the restoration when he found evidence that one of the fuel tanks might be filled with guns, a common discovery with retired military tanks. Mead joined Chamberlain and started filming, a practice he said is common when restorers think they might find illegal guns and want to make sure they have evidence of the discovery to show police. The video shows the restorers reaching into the fuel tank and pulling out the foreign objects, which turn out to be five gold bars weighing a total of about 70 pounds -- $1.4 million in gold. Mead said the gold, which may have been stolen by the Iraqi Army during the invasion of Kuwait and forgotten inside the tank, was turned over to police. It's not yet clear what will eventually become of the discovery. *--Sometimes a Great Selfie Involves a Little Risk--* A young woman suffered injuries and was rushed to a hospital after falling from a bridge while taking selfies, according to police in California. The Placer County Sheriff's Office said that the woman, who was not identified, and a group of her friends from the Sacramento area, were walking on the girders underneath the Foresthill Bridge. The woman took a selfie and fell from the girders, landing on the trail approximately 60 feet below. She was rushed to the Sutter Roseville Medical Center, where she is being treated for broken bones. She is expected to survive. "The walkways under the Foresthill Bridge are closed for the protection of our residents and our community. Any trespassers found on the bridge will be cited. Be safe and tour the bridge from the sidewalks above. This young lady is very lucky to be alive and the consequences could have been worse for her, her friends and her family," a spokesperson for the The Placer County Sheriff's Office said. *-- Ariel? --* Police in California, released photos of a woman, who was found wandering on the streets naked. Fresno Police asked the public for help in identifying a woman who was naked with just a sports bra on when she was found wandering a street in the early morning hours. The woman did not give police much information. She told police that her name was Joanna, and that she is a mermaid. She told police that her hair was wet because she had been in a lake. The woman was taken to a hospital for observation. Police identified the woman as 5 feet and 4 inches tall, weighing about 150 pounds, brown eyes and brown hair, and she has webbed toes on both feet. The woman, whose identity was not released, came to Fresno last week. She was visiting the area as she was contemplating moving there. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) . .. .. ______________________ \ __,,_ \ \ //_ //// _\ _\\ .. . \ / ) \\\' >( |\ " Haaa... resting under \ |( ) _ ' )| \ the sun, at last." \| \______/ /____/ | \ . .. |______ | \______| \ \ \_/_)_) \ \ \ .( \ . .. \ \ _|\-.________ \ \ \/ __\______ \ \ .. .. \ \| , \| \ \ `. ____.-'\ \ \ \ \ \ \ b'ger \______________`. \___\ . ) \ \ \ '-` >SENIORS Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's arse anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it? 6. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser. 7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant. 8. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them. 9. Kids in the backseat cause accidents. 10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom. 13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. 15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They're everywhere. 16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter ...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after". 18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed. 20. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you? --- ...HaHa! Thanks Geniann! ============================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: .-""-._ / ___/ \ _&_ _.--""|/ `\| // \\ .' ( ^/ ^ )'. / / \ \ / | _ | \ // / \ \\ | _\____/ | /_/_/_\_\_\ | .' \____/-._ | .-"-. | / `; /# \ | / / _|_.---\ | | |.-.; :--.-(_/.____/.-""\___/"-. / \ / ~~/ /\ \{"=.______.="} /--. ; /___/_~~/ ; .--\"=...__...="} / \-/ `\______|/ \-.______..-; | /`| | \ | |||| || | /_ | |_______/ | |||| || | \_/| |-------' |--'||'--._|| | | | | || |> |______| |____________|._ || _..-;| | [___] | `||() || |______ |\/|____________|jgs|| () (__) \__/ (__) () [Following is another excerpt from Bill Bryson's book, I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF where he talks about his disillusionment with technology. Please remember that this book was first published in 1999. There have been a few improvements since then.] Like nearly everything else to do with computers, a spell checker is marvelous in principle. When you have done a piece of work, you activate it and it goes thought the text looking for words that are misspelled. Actually, since a computer doesn't understand what words are, it looks for letter clusters it isn't familiar with, and here is where the disappointment begins. First, it doesn't recognize any proper nouns--names of people, places, corporations, and so on--or nonstandard spellings like 'kerb' and 'colour'. Nor does it recognize many abbreviations or acronyms. Nor, evidently, any word coined since Eisenhower was president. Thus, it recognizes 'sputnik' and beatnik but not 'Internet', 'fax', 'cyberspace' or 'butt- head' among many others. [P.S. Spell Check still doesn't recognize 'kerb' or 'colour'.] -<>- A client recently brought her two cats in to my husband's veterinary clinic for their annual checkup. One was a small-framed, round tiger-striped tabby, while the other was a long, sleek black cat. She watched closely as I put each on the scale. "They weigh about the same," I told her. "That proves it!" she exclaimed. "Black does make you look slimmer. And stripes make you look fat." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- [This is a long one...but funny. I've continued it below so keep reading!] When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up. What with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way I was going to lay that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But.... Now that I've reached the ripe old age of thirty-five, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! And then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! And there were no MP3s or YouTube! If you wanted to steal music, you had to go to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or, we had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up! You want to hear about hardship? We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was, it could be your boss, your Mom, a collections agent, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids"! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! When you went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy sat in front of you, you watched his hairstyle! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... D'ya hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back in 1984! -<>- Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "I was just checking my messages." -<>- I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor hold me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak. The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure." "You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "Please continue." "Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?" [Thanks to Reader's Digest.] -<>- A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher, "I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: ( ) |\ _,--------._ / | | `.,' `. / | ` ' ,-' ' \/_ _ ( / (,-.`. ,',-.`. `__,' |/#\ ),-','#\`= ,'.` | `._/) -'.\_,' ) ))| / (_.)\ . -'// ( /\____/\ ) )`'\ \ |V----V|| ' , \ |`- -- -' ,' \ \ _____ ___ | .' \ \ `._,-' `- `.__,`---^---' \ ` -' -.______ \ . / ______,- `. ,' ap >If I were the devil: I would gain control of the most powerful nation in the world; I would delude their minds into thinking that they had come from man's effort, instead of God's blessings; I would promote an attitude of loving things and using people; I would dupe entire states into relying on gambling for their state revenue; I would convince people that character is not an issue when it comes to leadership; I would make it legal to take the life of unborn babies; I would make it socially acceptable to take one's own life, and invent machines to make it convenient; I would cheapen human life as much as possible so that the life of animals and nature are valued more than human beings; I would take God out of the schools and public places, where even the mention of His Name was grounds for a law suit; I would come up with drugs that sedate the mind and target the young, and I would get sports heroes to advertise them; I would get control of the media, so that every night I could pollute the mind of every family member for my agenda; I would attack the family, the backbone of any nation. I would make divorce acceptable and easy, even fashionable. If the family crumbles, so does the nation; I would compel people to express their most depraved fantasies on canvas and movie screens, and I would call it art; I would convince the world that people are born homosexuals, and that their lifestyle should be accepted and marveled at; I would convince the people that right and wrong are determined by a few who call themselves authorities and refer to their agenda as politically correct; I would persuade people that the church is irrelevant and out of date, and the Bible is for the naive; I would dull the minds of Christians, and make them believe that prayer is not important, and that faithfulness and obedience are optional; I guess I would leave things pretty much the way Obama left them. -<>- .======================================. | ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ | | \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| | | _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| | '===================================== ,sSSSs DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "( .:. SSS@ =/ \~/ C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_ ___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.- [____________________________________] \ /\// | ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/ | (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ; | | | | | | | | | | |____| | | | | | | | | | | \ |\ | | | | | | | | | | ) ) ) | |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/ | I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ | jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\ Y\_\ >The Five Stages Of Drunk: Provided as a public service, so that on the upcoming occasion, you don't have to experience these stages yourself, at least not all of them! Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART. Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun. Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world. Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and heck, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway! Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words. -<>- _,---. (/_/)))) \c e_e) . \ = ) _| ,-` -(_ |o| / `-'\\ |#{) /__| ._ _)y / < \ (\_/ `.\ ____\ ,>>> | .==T=T==.__| | | / | |\ |_______| \ / /\ \ / ,' `. \ / / \ \ <\_\_ \ \ `---` (_`-\_ `---' hjw >ITEMS NOTED ON REAL RESUMES... SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES: -- Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job. -- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. -- I procrastinate - especially when the task is unpleasant. ITEMS NOTED ON REAL RESUMES JOB RESPONSIBILITIES: -- While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility. -- I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award. MORE ITEMS NOTED ON REAL RESUMES... REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB: -- Responsibility makes me nervous. -- They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn't work under those conditions. -- Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches. -- I was working for my mom until she decided to move. -- The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers. MORE ITEMS NOTED ON REAL RESUMES... PHYSICAL DISABILITIES: -- Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep. PERSONAL INTERESTS: -- Donating blood. 14 gallons so far. SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING: -- Education: College, August 1880-May 1984. -- Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse. -- Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget. -- I'm a rabid typist. -- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Big Boy Toys!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigboytoys.html Moses Bridge!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mosesbridge.html Brilliant Logos!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/logos.html Fighter Aircraft!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fighteraircraft.html Canyon Skywalk!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skywalk.html Statue Of Liberty!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/statueofliberty.html Willis (Sears) Tower!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/willist.html Wieliczka Salt Mine!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/saltmine.html Rotating Skyscrapers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skyscraper.html Tour Inside Of Google!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/insidegoogle.html Thoughts Into Action 7!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action7.html Germany's Water Bridge!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wbridge.html Madeira Funchal Airport!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/funchalairport.html eleMMent Palazzo Mobile RV!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv2.html SubTropolis: Underground Park!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/subtropolisup.html Great Engineering Achievements!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/engineering.html World's Most Spectacular Places 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces3.html -<>- >From TheMouth: The RCDB (aka, the Roller Coaster DataBase) contains statistics on 2102 roller coasters from 858 parks located in 66 countries and currently holds 5121 pictures. Find out what new roller coasters are being bilt, along with where they are being bilt. If that isn't enough, view lists of record holding coasters, inversion breakdowns, and the census of the different kinds of coasters. http://www.rcdb.com Recently graduate from college? Looking for a career change? Why not look at all of the possibilities? Career matchmaker, Monster.com is appropriately named with more than 1700 pages of job listings, career advice, featured employers, a chat forum, and more. Monster.com is your connection in the US and abroad for every conceivable type of work, from management executive and technology, to military and entertainment. Email your resume to prospective employers. This website offers a wealth of resources for both employers and those seeking employment of virtually every type. http://www.monster.com -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) How do the Amish celebrate Easter? http://amishamerica.com/how-do-the-amish-celebrate-easter/ Recipes | McCormick http://tinyurl.com/lar5yxf --- ...Great! Thanks Melody! Love McCormick Taco And Chili seasonings. -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) The Resurrection is a 12x40 mural, oil on canvas. It is a depiction of the moment of Jesus emerging from the tomb. This mural was commissioned by the Museum of Biblical Art in Dallas, Texas. http://downloads.cbn.com/cbnplayer/cbnPlayer.swf?s=/vod/MW131v2_WS Wonderful video! Wouldn't this be fun to do... hmmm, or maybe not! http://tinyurl.com/balchgm --- ...Most Awesome! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Woman, blond, adding a quart of oil to her car. http://i.imgur.com/gpALGIH.gif I guess maintaining a vehicle is a lot like cooking? --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! WoW - WoW - WOW! Forte Tenors - Pie Jesu - Americas Got Talent Audition - Season 8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VySsFmzYjNw --- ...America at it's best! Love it! Thanks PatDeE! Just a coincidence? http://www.themoralliberal.com/2012/10/03/can-it-all-be-coincidence/ --- ...Smells pretty fishy! Thanks PatDeE! I hope they investigate all his and Hillary's doings! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen is one of the greatest songs ever written. It's poetic, melancholy and triumphant all at the same time. But I ask you: Is it even better with these new lyrics celebrating Easter? A vocal soloist is accompanied by an amazing choir in this spiritual video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guhr0Vh2hE0 --- ...Oh So Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! The magic of split-second costume changes by the 'Duo Minasov'. Isn't it every man's dream for their woman to get ready that fast? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=e2Z0lC4Y9aE --- ...Mind blowing to watch! Thanks LouiseAu! Breathtaking wildlife footage pulled from the filmmaker’s vast collection, made even more poignant when paired with Louis Armstrong’s timeless lyrics. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auSo1MyWf8g&feature=player_embedded "The Bear" is an unusually involving film about animals that will give you a fresh perspective on their world. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TjLCJKoot4U --- ...Classics! Thanks LouiseAu! The bear gives goosebumps - one I shall never forget! So scary and heartwarming - brought tears AGAIN at the end. I'm just an old softy for these animal films! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all." -Georg Christoph Lichtenberg "The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer." -Victor Borge "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." -Ralph Waldo Emerson "When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other." -Eric Hoffer "Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble." -Samuel Johnson "What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living." -Doug Larson "The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault." -Henry Kissinger "I filled out a rental application that asked, 'Do you own any liquid-filled furniture?' Couldn't they just have said 'waterbed'? How many other forms of liquid-filled furniture are there? 'Yeah, I have a beer couch, will that be a problem?'" --Lisa Goich "Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!'" --Kathleen Madigan "I never get tired of housework - I don't do any. When guests come to visit I just put down dropcloths and say, 'We're painting.'" --Joan Rivers "In eleven days I'm as good as skewered! Ever take all your clothes off and run backwards through a cornfield?" --Harland Williams as Kenny in "Half-Baked". "'If you can dream it,' I have heard said, 'You can do it.' Maybe so, but that's really up to Tyra Banks and Reece Witherspoon." --Jim Rosenberg "If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." --Jack Handey >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************