Happy Flag Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels For 2010 *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2010 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) _ (_) |_________________________________________ |* * * * * |##########################| | * * * * *| | |* * * * * |##########################| | * * * * *| | |* * * * * |##########################| | * * * * *| | |* * * * * |##########################| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |#########################################| | | |#########################################| | | |###################################JGS###| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | | | | HAPPY FLAG DAY!! AND HAPPY WORLD CUP SOCCER!! , - \O , .-.___ - /\ O/ /xx\XXX\ - __/\ ` /\ |xx|XXX| ` \, () ` << |xx|XXX| jgs^^^^^^^^`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ -<>- >2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hottie tottie comes from our friend Jo Ann. I already think birds are pretty cool so when I saw these guys strutting their stuff, I just had to do up a page to show them off. Check it out here... \| , \,/ .|/, . \|`@,"@,@`,@",@`@,@,\/_ _\`@,"@,"@,"@`@,"@",@`@,"@",|_ \,"@",@`@,"@,"@",@`,@",@`@",@"@/_ _\,"@`@,"@",@,"@",@`@,'@",@,"@`@",`@/, \|,@`@,",@'@",@",@",@`@",@,"@,@,@`@,"@`< >,"@",@",@`",@",@",@`@",@",@,'@,"@,"@,"@,/_ _\,"@`@,"@",@`@",@"@,`@,\!/@,"@,`@",@",@",@` @,"@"@,`@",@,"@,@",@",\W/,@",@`@",@",@`,@,/_ \`@",@`,"@`@,"@,`@,@`,@/ a_\`@","@","@,`@"@,` /,@`@,"@`@,"@,"@",",`@,| (`@",",@",`@`@",",@_ _'@,'@,"@,"@`,","@`,"'-' |",`@",@",",`@",`@\ /`@`,@,"@,'@`@,"@,"= |@",@`@",@`@",@`@< >.@',@","@,"@,","@/,___/ `@,",`@",@",`@"_` /,"@."@'@,"@`," / | `@",`@",`@",\ jgs /,@`@`,",@" _| _| ` "`@",<- /|`/` /\ /\ `\ World Of Peacocks http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/peacock.html --- ...Strikingly beautiful! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- This next one is smoking! I found it while surfing for stuff for our friend Val. He is laid up right now due to a foot fracture. He has a passion for all things NASA and space orientated. This so amazed me that I decided to do a page up on it. As always, give it time to load. Check it out here... * + * ' | () .-.,-"``"-. - o - '=/_ \ | * |::'=._ ; ' ' \::. `=./`, ' + . '-::..-'``' * jgs O * . + . * . + God's Night Lights http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/night.html --- ...Dedicated to Val of course - A Get Well AND Thanks for just being there! ============================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: Beware Of Dog! _..._..._ .-' ':: '::-. / _ _ \ / \ ; : \ _ _ / ; |:' | /o) (o\ | .:| | |(_/ .-. \_)| :'| | .:/ ( ) \ | | ; '-' ;:'| |: | ' : ' | | '-| ' ' : ' ' |-' \ : / jgs \ /^\ / '--`._.`--' Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying; DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because"; the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." ====================================================================== >-->From ArcaMax Jokes: . _, |`\__/ / \ . .( | __T| / | _.---=======' | // {} `| , , {} \ /___; ,' ) ,-;` `\ // | / ( ;|| ||`\\ ||| || \\ ||| jgs )\ )\ )|| `" `" `"" >Elk Hunting Bubba and Jake chartered a plane with a pilot to drop them off in the wilds of Alaska for a week of elk hunting, just the same as they did the year before. When the pilot returned with the plane Bubba exclaimed joyfully to the pilot, "We had a great hunting trip! We bagged four elk!" The pilot regretfully explained, "Unfortunately, our plane can only fly with the weight of two elk. You'll have to leave the other two behind." Bubba and Jake were both infuriated and insistent. "We won't allow you to fly this plane out without all four elk," Jake demanded. The eager to please pilot relented and the plane took off with the three of them and their four elk. About fifteen minutes into the flight the engine started to sputter, and within seconds they were hurtling to the ground. Wearily arising from the wreckage, Bubba looked at Jake and wheezed, "Do you have any idea where we are?" Jake, quite pleased with himself, replied, "Yes! We're about a mile from where we crashed last year." -<>- >First Time in Church The little girl went to church for the first time. As she was leaving with her parents, the minister asked how she had liked church. "I liked the music," she replied, "but the commercial was too long." -<>- >A Long Way Home Two blonde friends were going on a trip to Florida. A neighbor told them that they'd be fine as long as they paid attention to the road signs along the way. But they'd driven just 30 miles when they saw one that read "Clean Restrooms Ahead." Two months later they arrived in Florida exhausted, having used up 86 bottles of Windex, 267 rolls of paper towels, and three cases of toilet-bowl cleaner. Total restrooms cleaned: 450. -<>- __ .-. .-"` .`'. /\\| _(\-/)_" , . ,\ /\\\/ {(#b^d#)} . ./, |/\\\/ `-.(Y).-` , | , |\.-` /~/,_/~~~\,__.-` ////~ // ~\\ jgs ==`==` ==` ==` >A Nutty Game A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat. After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke INTO applause and cheers. Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened. The assistant replied, "Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!" ==================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Del :) /( ,,,,, )\ _\,;;;;;;;,/_ .-"; ;;;;;;;;; ;"-. '.__/`_ / \ _`\__.' | (')| |(') | | .--' '--. | |/ o o \| Can't MOOOVE - | | / \ _..=.._ / \ Cattle Guard In The Way /:. '._____.' \ ;::' / \ .; | _|_ _|_ ::| .-| '==o==' '|-. / | . / \ | \ | | ::| | | .| | ( ') (. )::| |: | |; U U ;|:: | `| |' | | \ U U / |' | | ##V| |_/`"""`\_| |V## jgs ##V## ##V## >Your government at work... [A Joke] You will love this one, I haven't stopped laughing yet..... For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the "cattle" guards immediately!! Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten him out, Vice-President, Joe Biden, intervened with a request that.. before any "cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining. And these guys are running our country, Oh No!! Passed on to you without further comment.... --- ...LOL! Thanks Del - I would add they'd probably be looking to give them pensions too! HaHa! This joke started in the Clinton years. It just goes to show how out of touch and wasteful people think our Government is! I had an iron gate over my floor furnace in the living room. My old dog Frisky would never step on it and always would jump over it. I think he felt he'd get his little paws stuck in it too. So I see how the guard works for the cow. Same principle. =================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) >UNCLAIMED LOTTERY TICKET: Arizona is doing some 'A' Kicking! _ ,,;;;,,,, _.---.._ \`-._ `';;;;;;;;;;;;;, `'. .--'-._';, ,;;';;''/ `;_ `';;;;' `'. | . '-._ ,;;:' / '- >Thanks for your support As a rule, I don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in emails. BUT this one is important. It has been circulating for months and has been sent to over 20 million people. We don't want to lose any names on the list so just hit forward and send it on. PLEASE keep it going! To show your support for Obama please go to the end of the list and add your name. 1. Michelle Obama 2. --- ...LOL! Funny one! Thanks Sandi! We already know these lists don't work - real lists need name, address, AND email addy for the gov to even think of paying attention to them! =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Wesley :) , ; , .-'"""'-. , ; , \\|/ .' '. \|// \-;-/ () () \-;-/ When Life Gives Ya The Raspberry! // ; ; \\ //__; :. .; ;__\\ `-----\'.'-.....-'.'/-----' '.'.-.-,_.'.' jgs '( (..-' '-' >One of those days... Not too long ago I had "one of those days." I was feeling pressure from a writing deadline. I had company arriving in a couple days and the toilet was clogged. I went to the bank, and the trainee teller processing my deposit had to start over three times. I swung by the supermarket to pick up a few things and the lines were serpentine. By the time I got home, I was frazzled and sweaty and in a hurry to get something on the table for dinner. Deciding on Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, I grabbed a can opener, cranked open the can, then remembered I had forgotten to buy milk at the store. Nix the soup idea. Setting the can aside, I went to plan B, which was leftover baked beans. I grabbed the Tupperware container from the fridge, popped the seal, took a look and groaned. My husband isn't a picky eater, but even HE won't eat baked beans that look like caterpillars. Really frustrated now, I decided on a menu that promised to be as foolproof as it is nutrition-free: hot dogs and potato chips. Retrieving a brand new bag of chips from the cupboard, I grabbed the cellophane and gave a hearty pull. The bag didn't open. I tried again. Nothing happened. I took a breath, doubled my muscle, and gave the bag a hearty wrestle. With a loud pop, the cellophane suddenly gave way, ripping wide from top to bottom. Chips flew sky high. I was left holding the bag, and it was empty. It was the final straw. I let out a blood curdling scream. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" My husband heard my unorthodox cry for help. Within minutes he was standing at the doorway to the kitchen, where he surveyed the damage: an opened can of soup, melting groceries, moldy baked beans, and one quivering wife standing ankle deep in potato chips. My husband did the most helpful thing he could think of at the moment. He took a flying leap, landing flat-footed in the pile of chips. And then he began to stomp and dance and twirl, grinding those chips into my linoleum in the process! I stared. I fumed. Pretty soon I was working to stifle a smile. Eventually I had to laugh. And finally I decided to join him. I, too, took a leap onto the chips. And then I danced. Now I'll be the first to admit that my husband's response wasn't the one I was looking for. But the truth is, it was exactly what I needed. I didn't need a cleanup crew as much as I needed an attitude adjustment, and the laughter from that rather funky moment provided just that. So now I have a question for you, and it's simply this: Has God ever stomped on your chips? I know that, in my life, there have been plenty of times when I've gotten myself into frustrating situations and I've cried out for help, all the while hoping God would show up with a celestial broom and clean up the mess. What often happens instead is that God dances on my chips, answering my prayer in a completely different manner than I had expected, but in the manner that is best for me after all. Sometimes I can see right away that God's response was the best one after all. Sometimes I have to wait weeks or months before I begin to understand how and why God answered a particular prayer the way he did. There are even some situations that, years later, I'm still trying to understand. I figure God will fill me in sooner or later, either this side of Heaven or beyond. Do I trust Him? Even when he's answering my prayers in a way that is completely different from my expectations? Even when he's dancing and stomping instead of sweeping and mopping? Can I embrace what He's offering? Can I let His joy adjust my attitude? Am I going to stand on the sidelines and sulk, or am I willing to learn the steps of the dance he's dancin' with my needs in mind? I'll be honest with you. Sometimes I sulk. Sometimes I dance. I'm working on doing more of the latter than the former. I guess the older I get the more I realize that He really does know what He's doing. He loves me and I can trust Him. Even when the chips are down. --- ...Thanks Wesley! __ / \ /'. / | ||'.\| | || \\ / /\ __ \\ \\'```'-._ ; | /\ \ \'./` __ `D | _/ /\_| \ .__|' ` -.| | ,' \ Sometimes We Just Need A Hug! \ .| - - | \____,..-` \ _Y_ __/ / / `---'"""` `\ \| . __.._/ | '-.__.-""``.-./ |\ | ( _.'` |\ || .-| `` || || | ; || // jgs '-'\ //` `"""""""""`"""""` Hey, when you put yourself in the middle of God's great big universe, you kind of get the idea that life's little problems are just that - pretty little. It isn't always easy, but I think that our God is big enough to handle ANY situation we may have to face. We are never alone! -<>- "Spread out your petition before God, and then say, 'Thy will, not mine, be done.' The sweetest lesson I have learned in God's school is to let the Lord choose for me. -Dwight L. Moody --- ...Yeppers! Sweeeeeeeeeet! Thanks Wesley! -<>- .{{}}}}}}. {{{{{}}}}}}}. {{{{ {{{{{}}}} }}}}} _ _ {{{{{ }}}} @ @ }}}} {{{{C ^ {{{{ }}}}}}\ 0 /}}}}} {{{{{{{;.___.;}}}}}} {{{{{{) (}}}}}}' jgs `""'"': :'"'"'` >You might be getting older when... - Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. - You keep repeating yourself. - Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. - The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hhitting your bifocals. - You feel like the night after, and you hhaven't been anywhere. - You sit in a rocking chair and can't gett it going. - Your little black book contains only nammes ending in M.D. - You burn the midnight oil until 9 pm. - Your back goes out more often than you ddo. - Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work. - You keep repeating yourself. - You enjoy hearing about other people's ooperations. - You get winded playing chess. - Your children begin to look middle aged.. - People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I waake you?" - You're still chasing women but can't remmember why. - A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollabble bladder urge. - You know all the answers, but nobody askks you the questions. - Your favorite part of the newspaper is ""25 Years Ago Today..." - You turn out the light for economic reassons rather than romantic ones. - The little grey haired lady you help acrross the street is your wife. - Your knees buckle and your belt won't. - You keep repeating yourself. - You got cable for the Weather Channel. - You have a party and the neighbors don'tt even realize it. - After painting the town red, you have too take a long rest before applying a second coat. - Dialing long distance wears you out. - You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet. - You get into a heated argument about pennsion plans. - Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl go by. - You're startled the first time you are aaddressed as an old timer. - You sink your teeth into a steak and theey stay there. - You are proud of your lawn mower. - People don't harass you any more when yoou take an afternoon nap. - Your relatives longingly refer to your tthings as "your estate". - You're only good on a trip for an hour wwithout your aspirin, beano and antacid. - You're awake many hours before your bodyy allows you to get up. - You're wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and thhat's just your left leg. - You are having trouble remembering simplle words like.... - You're anti-everything: anti-fat, anti-ssmoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammation.... --- ...HaHa! a Good one! Thanks Wesley! -<>- ##, ,## '##, ,##' '## ##' ## __, ## ## __.-' \ ## ## ___.-'__.--'\ | ##, ## .-' .-, ( | | _ '## ##/ / /""=\ \ | | / \ ##, '#| |_\ / / | | / \ '## / `-` a a '-'`\ | | | | \ ,## \_, (__) ,_/ / / | \ \ ##' / / \ \\ / / | |\ \ ## __ | /`.__.-'-._)|/ / | | \ \##`__) \ ^ / / | | | v## '--. '._ '-'_.' / _.----. | | l ,## (_,' '##'-, ` `"""/ `'/| | / ,##--, ) '#/` ` ' |' ##' `" | /\_/#' jgs | __. .-,_.;###` _|___/_..---'''` _/ (###' .-'` ____,...---""``` `._ ( --'' __,.,---. ',_) `.,___,..---'`` / / \ '._ | | ( ( `. '-._) | / \ \ \'-._) | | \ \ `"` | | \ \ | | .-, ) | | | ( ( / / | | \ '---' / / \ `-----` | , / |(_/\-, \ ,_`) `-._) >How Company Policy is Made Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result – all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done round here. And that, my friends, is how company policies are made. --- ...Also government bureaucracy! Thanks Wesley - Now if we could figure a way to use this for the border and stop all those monkeys with guns and drugs from coming over - we'd have a plan! ===================================================================== >-->In The WorldlyNews: [Politics] >From Christians United For Israel: Israel is guilty until proven guilty [Scroll Down here for text] - http://cufi.convio.net/site/TellAFriend?msgId=32935.0&devId=40042 -<>- >From Patriot News: Election Officer: I'd testify Obama NOT born in US http://tinyurl.com/2bf74wt Urgent: Stop The 165 Billion Big Labor Bailout http://tinyurl.com/2f6teq8 -<>- >From Archive BizarreNews: If any of you have never done it, it is great to get out on your bicycle in the county. Especially if you are in the woods. You don't have the constant noise of an engine, you are surrounded by the environment, you can let your mind focus and forget about work and stress while your body gets a good work out. And then you collide with a bear. That's exactly what happened to a bicyclist who was training for a race on a road through the woods in Boulder, Colorado. Tim Egan and his nephew were traveling about 45 miles per hour on the hill just west of Boulder. "I saw a blur and thought to myself, 'Big dog.'" Egan said. "Then, just as I was hitting it, I saw this gigantic bear head with huge teeth. He was surprised to see me and I was surprised to see him!" Egan and his bike were thrown through the air and landed on his back. He couldn't move for several minutes. His nephew pulled up on the scene just seconds later and told him the bear was still there. "I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm alive, but the bear's here. Oh, this is bad.' I mean, he was extremely well-fed and a big guy. And he wasn't happy. He looked at me and he opened his mouth," said Egan. Eventually, though, the bear sauntered off into the woods, apparently uninjured. Egan, though, was bleeding profusely and his bike was bent. He and his nephew got it straightened out and rode to Boulder Community Hospital. "I don't think I could have hurt him," said Egan. "It was literally like running into a brick wall. I'm glad my nephew was here, or nobody would have believed me. I told him, 'I demand that this story be told at my funeral, because it'll get a laugh out of everyone.'" -- Smoking man zapped by lightning ------------- ORLANDO, Fla. - A Florida man said it felt like he "stuck a fork in an outlet" when lightning struck him while he was holding a cigarette out the window of an apartment. Adam Rice said he was listening to music and watching TV in an apartment in Orange County, Fla., when lightning zapped him on the hand Wednesday, WKMG-TV, Orlando, Fla., reported. "All of sudden it sounded like fireworks go off, just loud pops, like, constantly. The whole house lit up blue and I got zapped on my hand," he said. Rice said he could feel the electricity leave through his feet after it went through his body. The lightning strike caused nearby brush to burst into flames, WKMG said. "I called the fire department and I (said), 'I just got struck by lightning and the woods are on fire.' Next thing I know my body felt like I stuck a fork in an outlet," he told reporters. Rice said his foot burns a little but he decided not to go to the doctor. -- Baby crocodile surprises drinkers ------------- DARWIN, Australia - Patrons at a bar in Australia said they were surprised when a baby crocodile unexpectedly walked in front of the building's door. It is a mystery how the 2-foot-long crocodile made its way to the Noonamah Tavern, about 25 miles outside of the Northern Territory capital of Darwin, CNN reported. "I think someone went fishing and picked him up. Or someone left him here as a practical joke. It's very unlikely that it walked up by itself," Naray said. Drinkers hurried out of the bar after two nearby gas station workers saw the crocodile near the building Sunday, the report said. Patrons said they carried the animal into the bar for some quick photos before send- ing it to the Darwin Crocodile Farm, where it is in good condition. -- Man steals ATM from convenience store ---------- PLACENTIA, Calif. - Police in Placentia, Calif., said they were searching for a man accused of entering a convenience store and stealing an automated teller machine. Placentia police spokeswoman Corinne Loomis said a man told the Circle K clerk to move out of the way while he took the large ATM out of the store on a dolly, The Orange County (Calif.) Register reported. Police said the man had on a motorcycle helmet or a paint-ball mask and took off in a vehicle after the heist. No one was injured in the Wednesday incident and the man didn't appear to be armed, the newspaper said. Loomis said the ATM had been filled with cash the day it was taken. -- Nude inmate picked up by police -------------- SAVANNAH, Ga. - A Georgia inmate was taken back to jail after police found him walking nude near the detention center, officials said. Bill Merit, 49, was taken back to Chatham County jail and charged with public indecency after police received reports of a naked man walking toward a busy corner, the Savannah (Ga.) Morning News reported. "I observed Merit, naked, holding his private area. Merit was cooperative and stated he just left the jail, and the clothes they gave him he did not want, because he thought they were stolen," a police officer told the Morning News. Reports said the man "appeared rational, except for being naked." Merit was taken into police custody for criminal trespass and disorderly conduct two days before the nude-walking incident took place Monday, official documents show. =========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: My wife and I were having a very hypothetical discussion: In the unlikely event that Hollywood made a movie based on our lives, we wondered what stars would play us. "Who would you pick to portray you?" she asked me. I thought about it for a minute, then answered, "George Clooney." "In that case," she said, "I'll play myself." -<>- _,..=xxxxxxxxxxxx, /L_Y.-"""""""""`,--n. .--'[=======]|L]J: []\ |/ _ ''_ " " ||[ -_ 4 | jgs '-(_)-(_)----'v'-(_)--' Sitting through fire safety and prevention programs can make anyone nod off. So the instructor tried to lighten the mood by going around the room asking where all the guests were from. "Burnt Mattress, Arkansas," called out the friend sitting next to me. "Burnt Mattress!" said the instructor, suppressing a laugh. "I've heard some unusual town names before, but never that one. Where's it located?" My friend shot back, "Right above Hot Springs." -<>- On our way to my parents' house for dinner one evening, I glanced over at my 15-year-old daughter. "Isn't that skirt a bit short?" I asked. She rolled her eyes at my comment and gave me one of those "Oh, Mom" looks. When we arrived at my folks' place, my mother greeted us at the door, hugged my daughter, then turned to me and looking me over with a critical eye said, "Elizabeth! Don't you think that blouse is awfully low-cut?" -<>- Staring at an empty cage, a zoo visitor asks, "Where are all the monkeys?" "It's mating season," the keeper replies. "They're inside." "Do you think they'd come out for peanuts?" "Probably not," answers the keeper. "Why not?" persists the visitor. "Would you?" -<>- ,{{}}}}}}. {{{{{}}}}}}}. {{{{ {{{{{}}}} }}}}} _ _ {{{{{ }}}} m m }}}}} {{{{C ^ {{{{{ }}}}}}\ '=' /}}}}}} {{{{{{{{;.___.;{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}) (}}}}}}}}}} {{{{}}}}}': :{{{{{{{{{{ {{{}}}}}} `@` {{{}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{ jgs {{{{{{{{ }}}}}} }}}}} {{{{ {{{ }} While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbor, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking. He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we home- schooled them. With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family. I said, "No, I also work... but out of our home." Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in. "He was born at home," I answered. The man looked at me and said, "You don't get out much, do you?" -<>- Recently launched into the "real world" and shocked by the expenses that came with it, my brother was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance. "If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be much lower." My brother smiled and said, "Dad, that would be like buying an airline just to get free peanuts." ============================================================== >-->From The Jokester: , , ___('-###-')__ '.__./ \__.' _ _ _ .-' 6 6 \ /` `--'( ('--` `\ | / ) ) \ \ _ _| | ( ( | (0_._0) | ) ) |/ '---' | ( ( |\_ | ) ) |( \, \ ((` / )__/ | /:))\ | d | /:((::\ | | |:::):::| | / \::##:::/ \ \ /;U#::U;\ / | | | u:u | | | | | \ / | | jgs | | _| | _| | / \""` `""/ \ | __| | __| `"""` `"""` >All I Need To Know About Life, I Learned From A Cow Wake up in a happy mooo-d. Don't cry over spilled milk. When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste! The grass is green on the other side of the fence. Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth! It's better to be seen and not herd. Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives. Never take any bull from anybody. Always let them know who's the bossy. Stepping on cowpies brings good luck. Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement. Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day. ================================================================= >-->From TheMouth: >Job Application submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment... NAME: Greg Bulmash SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING PREVIOUS EMPLOYMENT: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks, yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries. ============================================================ >-->From AndyChaps: >Hell Is Full?? Not!!! A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend. Then, one student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!" -<>- + A_ /\-\ jgs _||"|_ ~^~^~^~^ >Please Be Quite: Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked." -<>- .. ____ ____ . | / + \ || || /+ . \ . | |o x.| =**= _ =**= | o x| . | |____| || _( )_ || |____| . | || /_____\ || . | ______________//| |/__________________ . |_______^________/ | + | /____^_____ . . _U_ / |___| // _U_ . | /_______________________________________// | . /|\ |______________________________________|/ /|\ >A Father of Many: A little boy got on the bus and sat next to a man who had his collar on backwards. He asked the man why he wore his collar that way. The man said, "I am a Father" The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that" The man answered, "I am the Father of many" The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren" The priest was annoyed and said, "I am the Father of hundreds" The little boy sat quietly...but on leaving the bus he leaned down and said, "Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards!" -<>- >What's Gonna Happen To Her? A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating habits "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?" Eventually" said the Doctor, "she will rise and shine!" -<>- ________________________ |\______________________/| || || || _ _ _ || || '_) '_) __ ' ) || || ,_) >< ,_) -- | || || ' || || _____ || ||_______________#####__|| jgs |/______________________\| >Top 10 Most Brilliant Marketing Mess Ups 1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea." 2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." 3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick." 4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the U.S., with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read. 5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. 6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa). 7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese. 8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate." 9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth." 10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." -<>- \`-'.'. /`. |\ \ `-' \ / '-./\ .'\ `-. '. `-.)\.' / `._ ''-. `:. _.' `-._...__.::::.__.--' _.-..'''''. _.---.__`._. `-. ___..-' `o> `-. .-``` <) ) .' `._.-.`-._.' / / `-' | ' / | . ' .' \ \ \ .'| ' / -..__.| / | | /| | \ '\ / \ | \ | | | | | \ / . | | / \ | | | \ \ | | | | | \ | `. | | | | | \ / `' | /_ `. /' \ `---/_ `. `.\.' `.\.' LGB `.\.' >Truth In Packaging: A butcher just out of trade school in Canada applies for and gets a job, skinning and cutting up the kills of local hunters. The first job he gets is to cut up a moose to put in the freezer. He finally gets the moose cut up and is putting it into bags and marking them with the contents: chops, rump steak, ribs, sirloin, etc, etc. When he finishes with the stuff he knows, he is still left with a pile of unidentifiable parts. At a loss as to what to do with them, he finally puts them all into one bag and labels them..........Moosellaneous. -<>- >Missing You Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door." -<>- , , \y ,--.y/ /,---. )\ / (((\\)\ \ \ \\-_/ / / \ i i / (_)=(_) ) . ( /\---/\ / )-( \ / / \ \ / ," ". \ / / \ \ hjw /-) (-\ / ^! !^ \ >In My Dreams: Andrew: Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row... Psychiatrist: Hold it, Andrew. That doesn't sound so terrible. Andrew: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the third girl from the end. ==================================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Classic Chevy Collection http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevy.html Awesome Tree Houses http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treehouses.html Chinese Olympic Cuisine http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/olympic.html All Occasion Cakes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aocakes.html Origami Dollar Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dollarart.html Hummingbirds http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humming.html Picture This http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/picturethis.htm Let's Dance http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dance.html -<>- >Please Visit These To Get New Traffic For Shangrila :) 1943 Arcade Game http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=41514&s=n Crazy Go Nuts 2 http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=42064&s=n I Love NY http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=37653&s=n Angry Kid Choir Boys http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=41839&s=n Dancing Yoda http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3559&pid=20494&s=n -<>- >From Our Friend Charles :) For all you FaceBook Users - I have started using Friendly Smiles, an application on Facebook, and I think you would like it too. Facebook is a website that lets you connect with your friends, share photos, use applications and more. Thanks, Charles Lloyd Augenstein has: 30 friends 5 photos 8 Wall posts 5 groups Join him on Facebook here http://tinyurl.com/2ejg7y9 --- ...Thanks Charles. I tried Facebook before. I find MyYearbook to be easier to use. Right now it is challenging enough for me. I hardly have the time for it let alone any other social group! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Jesus loves the little children song and lyrics from KIDiddles http://tinyurl.com/396dl3d BBC on this day| 11 | 1959: Hovercraft http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/june/11/newsid_4333000/4333329.stm The A-10 Warthog http://tinyurl.com/3ahk4kq Free images - public domain, free photos http://tinyurl.com/ckk22e Petroglyphs - Pictographs - Cave Paintings - Geoglyphs http://tinyurl.com/c5wd4c --- ...Super! Thanks Wesley! That last one reminds me of this... Hobo Signs http://blackbird17.blogspot.com/2008/04/hobo-signs.html And Another Hobo Signs one http://www.victorynetwork.org/HoboSigns.html -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Water Power http://www.buffaloschips.com/71008.htm Way Cool Toy http://www.buffaloschips.com/71009.htm Wekker Problem http://www.buffaloschips.com/71010.htm Welcome Home http://www.buffaloschips.com/71601.htm Westfall Horse Video http://www.buffaloschips.com/71602.htm Daddy Do-Do http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/daddy.html Beaches In India http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beaches.html Bear Playground http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearplay.html x352 http://www.buffaloschips.com/72212.htm Yeah Right http://www.buffaloschips.com/72213.htm Your Side Of The family http://www.buffaloschips.com/72214.htm Lake Delton Break To WI River http://www.buffaloschips.com/72215.htm Baby Panda Sneeze http://www.buffaloschips.com/72216.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "They say that when you have a baby, you lose 700 hours of sleep in the first year, but it's worth it when they're old enough to do the yard work." -Craig Ferguson "The World Cup is starting soon. You know that excitement you feel when Flag Day is coming up? I kind of feel that right now." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new report found that 20 percent of people over 45 had to dip into their retirement savings last year. And the other 80 percent said, 'retirement savings?'" -Jimmy Fallon "A surgeon in Florida was fined $5,000 for removing the kidney of a patient instead of the gallbladder. The surgeon said, 'I am so sorry for the mistake, and I mean that from the bottom of the red, pumpy thingy in my chest.'" --Jimmy Fallon "A young American woman named Anamika Veeramani won the Scripps National Spelling Bee. You know what word she spelled that no one else could spell? Her name." -Jay Leno "A new study found that the average child is more likely to own a cell phone than a book. I guess that would explain why he's average." -Jimmy Fallon "Here's something new in law enforcement. In L.A. they are using unmanned drones flying over the city to fight crime. So far the drones are a success. Only two have been shot down by motorists." --Dave Letterman >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chhristian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Pass this on as it should be of interesst to all who served. The study was carried out in Austrialia on their Vietnam Veterans. ABC Nat. Radio Health Report Autralian Vietnam Vets: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/HealthReportVV.mp3 VV ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DDARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************