Happy Frankenstein Day And Halloween! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->OoooWEeeee!! oo 8 "} > @ < .8 .-._/| .'_'`')`_.' \| ) / (>'/ |_,_ | (,| .' ,'\| `._/ ) \| '`- -- ''-- --- VK/ejm I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala has been blessed with another donation from our long time Shangrala Angel, Cloie from NH! May God Bless her abundantly! She is a loyal supporter contributing to help Keep Shangrala Alive! We sure do thank God for her and all our past most sweet and wonderful angels! If you'd like to help too and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ *~* Our Hearts And Prayers go out to all affected by the shooting at the Synagogue massacre. May God uplift and bless them in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Anyone who chooses to go into a place of worship and kill as many innocent people there like he did is nothing but committing an act of pure evil and cowardice. No excuse for him except to say the devil was in control of him through his hatred. -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This flaming hot new page is from our friend Bunni. If you are like me and had no idea so many of these type of creatures existed, it will amaze you. I especially like the glass frogs - no need to dissect one when you can already see everything! Teehee. Check this cool one out here: _ _ __ ___.--'_`. .'_`--.___ __ ( _`.'. - 'o` ) ( 'o` - .`.'_ ) _\.'_' _.-' `-._ `_`./_ ( \`. ) //\` '/\\ ( .'/ ) \_`-'`---'\\__, ,__//`---'`-'_/ \` `-\ /-' '/ ` ' VK Transparent Critters! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/transparent.html ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ______ ______ _/ Y \_ // ~~ ~~ | ~~ ~ \\ // ~ ~ ~~ | ~~~ ~~ \\ Original Unknown //________.|.________\\ Diddled by David Issel `----------`-'----------' >NEW DICTIONARY ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: One of the only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone me-deep in conversation GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MYTH: A female moth. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ October 29 is Hermit Day and National Frankenstein Day October 30 is National Candy Corn Day and Mischief Night October 31 is Carve a Pumpkin Day, Halloween and Increase Your Psychic Powers Day November 1 is All Saint's Day, 1-2 Dios Los Muertos and Men Make Dinner Day November 2 is All Soul's Day, Deviled Egg Day, Look for Circles Day and Plan Your Epitaph Day November 3 is Book Lovers Day, Housewife's Day and Sandwich Day November 4 is King Tut Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: __ __ /_ _^^_ _\ _____|________|______ `=====.'""""""'.=====` / /a /a \ .-. | /\ | <" ) \ / / \ .`\, _'. \/\/\/ .'_ \ \_\ ./,' '-.\\'-------' \`------'/ '--""---'//.-' ###'.-'/________ \/""""\/ ________\'-.'### '/` \ : / `\` | | \ : | | \ \_____:_____ / [I=I=[_]I=I] / | \ / |_ \ / /\ \ / /##\ \ | ,/ ## \, | \ \ ## / / \ \ ## / / \ \##/ / jgs \ /\/\ / __,\_/X##X\_/.__ '.'/|\\XX//|\'.` '/'|.\##/,|`\' ## ## ## \ ## / / \ , \ \\##// , / /, /. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >Military Computer Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks. Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard." -<>- >Proverbs A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to complete each one. Here is what the kids came up with: Better to be safe than.................punch a 5th grader Strike while the.........................bug is close. It's always darkest before..............daylight savings time Never underestimate the power of............termites. You can lead a horse to water but ...........how? Don't bite the hand that.......................looks dirty. A miss is as good as a........................Mr. You can't teach an old dog.....................math. If you lie down with dogs, you........will stink in the morning. Love all, trust........................me. The pen is mightier than......................the pigs. An idle mind is......................the best way to relax. Where there is smoke, there's..............pollution. Happy is the bride who..................gets all the presents. A penny saved is.........................not much. Two is company, three's.....................The Musketeers. Children should be seen and not..........spanked or grounded. If at first you don't succeed.................get new batteries. You get out of something what you.......see pictured on the box. When the blind lead the blind................get out of the way. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and.......you have to blow your nose. -<>- >Personal Fitness Two women who had just met at a health spa were talking about their lifestyles and how they hope to stay healthy. One asked the other to detail her daily routine. "I eat moderately," she replied, "I exercise moderately, I drink moderately, and I live moderately." "Is there anything else you do?" her new friend asked. "Yes," she said, "I lie extensively." -<>- College Book Store I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester. "You'll get $24," said the clerk. "This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check. "I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a finance book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course." -<>- >Remember Slow Food? Someone asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?" "We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the food was slow." "C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?" "It was a place called 'at Home,' I explained. "Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what mom put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it." By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it: Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card. My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we had never heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11. It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people. I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had. I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line. Pizzas were not delivered to our home, but milk was. All newspapers were delivered by boys. My brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning. On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day. Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive. If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren -- Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it? MEMORIES from a friend: My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died recently) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old. How many do you remember? *Head lights dimmer switches on the floor. *Ignition switches on the dashboard.* *Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall. *Real ice boxes. *Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards. *Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner. *Using hand signals for cars without turn signals. Older Than Dirt Quiz : Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom. 1. Blackjack chewing gum 2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water 3. Candy cigarettes 4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles 5. Coffee shops or diners with table side jukeboxes 6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers 7. Party lines on the telephone 8. Newsreels before the movie 9. P.F. Flyers 10. Butch wax 11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels ... if you were fortunate) 12. Peashooters 13. Howdy Doody 14. 45 RPM records 15. S&H Green stamps (or Blue Chip stamps) 16. Hi-fi's 17. Metal ice trays with levers 18. Mimeograph paper 19. Blue flashbulb 20. Packards 21. Roller skate keys 22. Cork popguns 23. Drive-ins 24. Studebakers 25. Wash tub wringers *If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young. If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age 16-25 = You' re older than dirt!* *I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life. *Don't forget to pass this along!!Especially to all your really good **O**L**D** FRIENDS* ========================================================= I LOOVEEEE IIIIT... ..... C C / /< / ___ __________/_#__=o /(- /(\_\________ \ \ ) \ )_ \o \ /|\ /|\ |' | | _| /o __\ / ' | / / | /_/\______| ( _( < \ \ \ \ \ | \____\____\ ____\_\__\_\ /` /` o\ |___ |_______|.. . b'ger >-->Happy Frankenstein Day And Halloween! >A monster collection of Frankenstein jokes for you! Q: How does Frankenstein eat his dinner? A: He bolts it down! Q: What kind of book did Frankenstein’s monster like to read? A: One with a cemetery plot! Q: How does Frankenstein sit in his chair? A: Bolt upright! Q: Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills! Q: Why did Frankenstein the monster give up boxing? A: Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks! Q: What did Frankenstein’s monster say when he was struck by lightning? A: Thanks, I needed that. Q: How does Frankenstein jump start his day? A: With a shock of lighting! Q: What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other? A: I didn’t know we lived on the same block! Q: How do you know Frankenstein is tired? A: He’s dead on his feet! Q: What happened to Frankenstein’s monster on the road? A: He was stopped for speeding, fined $150 and dismantled for three months! Q: What should you do if you find yourself in the same room as Frankenstein? A: Keep your fingers crossed that it’s a fancy dress party! Q: Who brings the monsters their babies? A: Frankenstork! Q: Why did Frankenstein go to a psychiatrist? A: He thought one of his screws was loose! Q: What did Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish’s brain in the body of his dog? A: I don’t know, but it is great at chasing submarines! Q: How can I stop Frankenstein charging every time is out? A: Why not take away his credit card? Q: What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning? A: Great! A jolt to the bolt! Q: What do you call a clever monster? A: Frank Einstein! Q: Someone told me Frankenstein invented the safety match. A: Yes, that was one of his most striking achievements! Q: What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein? A: He gave him the cold shoulder! Q: How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster? A: On a piece rate! Q: Why is Frankenstein such good fun? A: Because he soon has you in stitches! Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A: His new dead ghoul friend! Q: Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done? A: At the ugly parlor! Q: Why was the bride of Frankenstein a terrible liar? A: You can always read between the lines on her forehead! Q: What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster? A: HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES! Q: Why was Frankenstein never lonely? A: Because he was good at bringing different parts of friends together! Q: What did the Frankenstein’s friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend? A: Good grief! Where did you dig her up from? Q: Why was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride? A: He couldn’t resistor! Q: Why does Frankenstein’s Monster Frankenfurters have a long shelf life? A: Because they have no expiration date. They are already dead. Q: Who will Frankenstein’s Monster take to the dance? A: Oh, any old girl he can dig up! Q: Why is online dating perfect for Frankenstein the Monster? A: Because he can hide behind a fake profile picture! Q: Why does Frankenstein’s Monster love Facebook? A: Because he wants friennnds!!! Q: Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? A: He had a crush on her! Q: What did Frankenstein say to his sweetheart? A: It was love at first fright! Q: What’s Frankenstein’s Monster’s favorite word? A: Synergy. Because he’s greater than the sum of his spare parts! Q: Why was Frankenstein built taller than the average guy? A: So people did not see him as just another zombie! Q: Why was Frankenstein green? A: He was made from old dead green body parts! Q: Why did Microsoft buy Frankenstein? A: They where looking for a new mobile hardware platform! Q: What is Frankenstein’s favorite dance song? A: The monster mash! Q: Why did the doctor create Frankenstein? A: He was looking for a green form of transport! Q: Why was Frankenstein always being arrested? A: He was so easy to charge! Q: How did Frankenstein stay so firm and fit? A: He bolts about 20 miles a day! Q: Why did Frankenstein turn to solar? A: For the free charge! Q: Why does Frankenstein love Halloween? A: He gets to eat his favorite treat nuts and bolts! Q: Why does Frankenstein hate flying in America? A: His bolts always set off the alarms at the airports! Q: How much did little Frankenstein win the running race by? A Frankfoot! Q: Why did Frankenstein take up professional surfing? A: He was sponsored by lighting bolt surf wear company! More Here: http://halloweenjokes.com/halloween-jokes/frankenstein-jokes ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) __ __ | |_| |______ _,___ _,___ _ _ \--/ | _ |__ | __ | __ | |_| | /`-' '-`\ |__| |__|__-_,_| ,___| ,___|___, | / \ |_| |_| |_| /.'|/\ /\|'.\ __ __ _ _ \/ | |_| |______| | |______ __ _ __ ______ ______ _,____ | _ |__ | | | __ | | | | --__| --__| __ \ |__| |__|__-_,_|_|_|______|_______|______|______|_| |_| ,-"-._ _.-"-, )'. `-. _,,,_ .-` .'( | `'. `-"` `"-` .'` | \ .-' '-. / _ .' .--. .--. '. '-(-' _ / (.=.| |.=.) \ _ . '._(_) : \_o/ .-. \_o/ : ( )_.' \ : ( ) :.-' ,-''-.; .___ .-`Y`-. ___. ;_.'-, \ '-.\ \ .--( .'. )--. / _./_| '._.-'`'-., _;-'\_/'-;_ ,.-'`'._`/ jgs_.',_.-' / `'''` `.___.' `'''` \ '-.__`-, '. -'/_.-| ; ; | \ _/ ';'` \ / \ /'---', / . '._,__,_,' ',_,__,_,' \ / . .'\ .'\ : \ ; \\\ \\\ ; | : /'._.' \\ /'._.' \\ ' | | ( ______/ ) ( ______/ ) | | : `~~~~~~~` .-. `~~~~~~~` : | | : / `\\ : | | _, ( __/ ) _, : | | : \ : `~~~` : .' | | `-._ _,' | | . \`--._ __.--'// : | | \ `'\\ /` .'/ | ; : `. `~~~~` _.'.' ' ; \ . `-._ _____.'.-' / \ . . `'~~~~~'` . ' / `._ _._ '_._ _._' _.___.' `""` `"""` `""""` `"""` >An Oldie... An airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 passengers left, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Barack Obama said, "I am President of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower, etc. I am also the smartest president ever." So he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane. The second passenger, said, I'm Antoine Walker, one of the best NBA Basketball players, and the Boston Celtics need me, so I can't afford to die." So he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane. The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said "I am the wife of the former President of the United States, and a New York Senator, and I am the smartest woman in the world." So she takes the third parachute and exits the plane. The fourth passenger, the Old man, says to the fifth passenger, a 10 year old boy scout, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, so as a Christian gesture and a good deed, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. "The boy scout said, "It's OK, there's a parachute left for you. The world's smartest woman senator took my backpack." ------- Mrs. Santa Claus was seeking a divorce in court from an incredulous judge who asked her to explain her marital problems. "Judge, it's that happy jolly stuff all year long," she said. "It drives me CRAZY!" "All year? Why I thought Santa's work was only in the winter." said the judge. "Sure, but in summer he takes up gardening," Mrs. Claus replied, and then... it's hoe, hoe, hoe, all over again!" ---------- Two guys are out hunting, and as they are walking along they came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed at the size of it. The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is?" The second hunter says," I don't know. Let's throw something down there, listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom." The first hunter says, "Hey, there's an old automobile transmission over there. Give me a hand, we'll throw it in and see." So they pick it up and carry it over and count one, two, three and heave it in the hole. They are standing there listening, looking over the edge, when they hear a rustling behind them. As they turn around, they see a goat come crashing through the underbrush, run up to the hole and, without hesitation, jump in headfirst. While they are standing there staring at each other in amazement, trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer saunters up. "Say there," says the farmer, "You fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?" The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doing about a hundred miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this here hole!!" The old farmer said, "Naw, that's impossible...I had him chained to a transmission. ---------- Two hunters, Paul and Kurt, were in a lodge, making small talk. Paul asked Kurt, "So, what do you hunt?" Kurt answered "I hunt unicorns." Paul was startled, but said "Really? How do you do that?" Kurt replied, "I find a virgin and hire her to help me. The virgin sits around in the woods until a unicorn comes to her. When it does, it sets off a snare." Paul said, "Boy, they must be hard to find. I've heard of them, but I've never seen one." Kurt said "Yeah, and there aren't many unicorns around, either!" ---------- For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "What a morning. I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs entering the subway. When I was on the ground two punks grabbed my wallet. I had to borrow subway fare from a stranger to get here." The boss raised an eyebrow and responded, "And this took an hour?" ------- A wild eyed woman walked into a crowded bar in downtown Washington, D.C. waving an un-holstered pistol and yelled out: "I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911, with a seven round magazine, plus one in the chamber. I want to know who's been sleeping with my husband?" A female voice from the back of the room called out: "You'll Need More Ammo, Mrs. Clinton." ------- I was talking to my dad yesterday. he's getting a little older and complaining about joint pain. I was worried and asked "Is it your hip?" He said no, "I burned my lip smoking pot." ---------- On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick Airport. Tania headed for the British passport control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners' line. When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my visit. "Pleasure," I replied. "I'm on my honeymoon." The officer looked first to one side of me, then the other. "That's very interesting, sir," he said as he stamped my passport. "Most men bring their wives with them." ---------- Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitcher's mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!" The last boy said, "Your dads don't even come close to being faster than mine. My dad works for the government, and even though he works every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!" ---------- The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office. "How was work, dear?" his wife asks. "Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts. "Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?" she asks nicely. "Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and just do my own thing without you forcing food down my throat? Huh?" At this moment, the wolf man started growling and throwing things around the apartment in a mad rage. Looking out the window, his wife sees a full moon and says to herself, "Well, I guess it's that time of the month." --- ...LOL! What a howl! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= _____ . . . . . _.-"" ""-._ !-!-!-!-! .' '. !_!_!_!_! .' '. |_=- =| / .-.. \ !_ ,;,-_]/ |__H _ .-\_)`-. \ ,/`,/'_`\,`\, [____|_] /.-. .-,_\ ; ,/',/'/_|_\`\,`\,|= |=| \( ; ,/' |/ ||"""|| \| `\, = | | ` | | #| ||___|| | # |= | | | ,/' # | [_____] | #`\, |=| ; ,/',-----' = '-----,`\--'---,/\,--, / `""| .;;;,= ,;;;, |# # ,// \\,'\, / | =//___\\ = //___\\ =| # ,//',;;,'\\,#\, | ||-. || || || |#,//' //||\\ '\\,`\, | ||..\|| || || |-|/| ||_||_|| |\|_ _| | || || = || || |= | |.----.|=|___] |= ||___|| = ||___|| =| =| || || | || | [_______] [_______] |--.| ||____|| | || ;_______=______=_____ __; |[________]| || ,/'# # # # # '----------''\| ,/' # # # # # # '\, ,/'___#____#__#_____#___#_______#_______#____#___#'\, `""[____________________________________________]|""` _[_| .-----. =- ___________ ||_]_|| | _| .",-"|"-,', () = |.--..-..--.| = |_ ||| |_/ |/ /_\_|_/_\ \ /__\ ||__||_||__|| | \_|\\ (_) || .-------. | | | |.--..-..--.| =| (_) || / \ || | | | |()| ||__||_||__|| | / \ || \_/ || '-------' | )( |___________| | \_/ || (_) ||.---------.| \/ |.---------.|= | (_) || / \ ||| ___ || = || || | / \ || \_/ ||| {___} || || || | \_/ || (_) ||| ((_)) || -= =||_________|| = |_(_)_// / \ ||| '-' || _ .-'-----------'-. | / \__\ \_/_||| ()|| [_]"""""""""""""""""[_]\_/\\\\ [ __ ]|| || =| |==.==.==.==.==.==| |__]||||| j| |||| || | | | | | | | | | |====| g|__|||;). ||--|_|=='=='=='=='=='==|_| |||||| _s____/`---`\ ____||_.____._____._____.____.|__|//// | | 9.9 |=====' | | / \ \ | |-' '------\ www /---'----'----'---'----'---'---'----' `---' >-->From HandyHints: >Remove stains using potatoes...really! Potatoes are excellent stain removers and they can safely be used in a lot of ways around the house. Use them on your hands to remove the stains left behind by beets or berries or blot them into carpet or other fabrics to clean up stubborn spots. Add some salt for extra scrubbing power for particularly troublesome stains. >Clean silverware using potato water Want to clean up your fine silver without all of the chemical scrubbing? Boil a few potatoes in water until they're soft and ready to eat. Set the potatoes aside (for dinner, perhaps?) and place the silverware in the potato water. Allow it to sit for at least an hour. Remove the silver and wipe dry to remove the tarnish. >Freezer trick: freeze things flat and stack them. Whether it's soups, stews, or ground meat, the flatter and wider you can get them, the faster they'll freeze and defrost, which not only makes you more efficient, it also improves the quality of the food (the longer something takes to freeze, the more cellular damage it will suffer). >Freezing raw meat, soups, and stews: if you have a vacuum sealer, use it! Otherwise, place foods in heavy-duty freezer bags, squeeze out all the air, lay the bag flat, and use your hands to work the contents into as flat and even a shape as possible. >Freezing vegetables: cut them into pieces 1-inch or less and blanch any green vegetables. Place them on a large plate or sheet tray spaced apart from each other and freeze them solid before transferring to a plastic freezer bag and storing flat. >Ginger can be tricky to peel with all its bumps and irregularities. Rather than using a paring knife or vegetable peeler, reach for the spoon. Scrape it against the skin and it'll come right off, following every contour and minimizing waste. >Speed up your defrosting time: The fastest way to defrost meat is under a cold running tap. But if you want to save water and speed things up a bit, place your meat on an aluminum sheet tray or skillet. Aluminum is a great conductor of heat and will draw energy from the surrounding environment into your frozen meat much faster than a wooden cutting board or wood or stone countertop. You can cut defrosting times down by about 30 percent this way. It also works on soups, stews, and anything frozen flat. >Lollipop As A Drink Stirrer Hey, this could be fun for kids and adults! Use lollipops in cocktails and other party beverages in place of your traditional drink stirrers. The lollipop will also add a bit of fun color to your drink. >Slice avocados for salads or guacamole: split them in half, remove the pit by whacking it with the heel of your knife and twisting it out, then slice it directly in the skin using the tip of a paring knife or chef's knife. When you then scoop it out with a spoon, you'll have slices ready to go, with less mess than trying to fiddle with slippery peeled avocado a cutting board. >Can you spare packs of single-serve snacks, like nuts, beef jerky, protein bars, snack-sized oreos, or pistachios? If so, you can donate them to Operation Stars & Stripes (operationstarsandstripes.org). This nonprofit organization seeks to support active duty personnel, reservists, national guardsmen, veterans, and their families by offering support and encouragement through: * Individualized correspondence and care packages while he/she works under difficult and dangerous conditions overseas. * Assistance domestically to enhance the quality of life of service members, veterans, and their families. * Increasing public awareness and understanding of the hardships of the America's military sons and daughters. The organization was founded in May of 2001 in memory of Vietnam War hero, Major George Thompson. To date, over 100,000 packages have been sent to our deployed troops. They will also be collecting new toys and gift cards for the wounded warriors here on the Homefront and the families of our heroes. Mail donations to: Rosalyn-Sue Smith, President Operation Stars & Strips, Inc 483 Old Canton Road Suite 100 Marietta, GA 30068 or please visit their site to see all the differnt ways you can help: http://operationstarsandstripes.org/ ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: “My Democratic colleagues have grown desperate. In the two years their party has sat on the sidelines, our nation has thrived under Republican leadership. That must be why, month after month, on issue after issue, Democrats and their far-left allies have tried to replace inconvenient facts with pure partisan scare tactics,” Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell writes in The Washington Times. “When facts fail, the far left ratchets up the fear.” https://tinyurl.com/y9w97ygh “Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen said the migrant caravan headed for the U.S. southern border will not cross over into the United States, on ‘Fox News Sunday,’” Nick Givas writes in The Daily Caller. “There is a legal way to enter this country. Those who choose to enter illegally will be stopped,” Secretary Nielsen said. The Trump administration is considering a travel-ban executive order to block asylum seekers at the southern border as a caravan of thousands of Central American migrants make their way to through Mexico to the U.S. https://1600daily.com/2018/10/26/trump-expand-travel-ban/ President Trump is leading the fight for an overhaul of the health care that would lower costs for Americans with minimal government interference. https://1600daily.com/2018/10/25/trumps-bold-healthcare-plan/ Justice w/ Judge Jeanine 10/27/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh0MZOOr15Q Hannity 10/26/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC0awGTuRLo Ingraham Angle 10/26/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tyu3FGUztcY Border Wall COMPLETED https://1600daily.com/2018/10/26/border-wall-completed/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: If you're going to have S at work at least make sure it's not with a complete stranger, and that you're not 'in uniform' at the time, and that you're not being recorded, and that there are not over 100 people within 50 feet of you, and that the videos don't make it onto the Internets. Otherwise you might end up like this this poor B. An employee of Delta Airlines has been suspended after a video emerged online of him having S with a porn star in a plane toilet. The man was said to have disappeared into the plane toilet with the gay adult actor, Austin Wolf, for eight minutes during a flight. Although the unidentified man was off-duty at the time, he was wearing his flight attendant uniform in the short clips, which were shared on Twitter but have since been deleted. Wolf is said to have been easily identifiable in the videos thanks to his distinctive tattoos. The cabin crew member, who is said to be a new recruit, has been suspended by Delta who is launching an investigation into what happened as it is a breach of the company's standards of behavior. Legal experts have also been contacted as the videos could be classified as 'revenge porn', as the member of staff has said that he was not aware that he was being filmed. +--- Take That, History ---+ The Salisbury Journal's Rebecca Hudson reports that a 45-year-old man was arrested today after "smashing the case of the Magna Carter with a hammer and trying to destroy it." Magna Carta 1215 is the best surviving copy of one of Britain's most influential legal documents, and is on permanent display at Salisbury Cathedral. It is regarded by historians as the foundation of constitutional liberty in the English-speaking world. A spokesman for Salisbury Cathedral said: "We can confirm that at the end of the afternoon, a man attempted to break into the case which houses Magna Carta in the Cathedral's Chapter House. He was arrested by police shortly afterwards and taken into custody. We are very relieved that no one was hurt during the incident and that the Magna Carta itself is undamaged." *--- Detroit Couple Give Marriage a Run ---+ Some people dream of getting married at the Eiffel Tower, or at the foot of Niagara Falls. This couple wanted to get married in the middle of a marathon. Whitney Black, who donned a veil with her running clothes, and Steven Phillips, who wore a shirt with a tuxedo print, stopped at the 13.1 mile marker of the 26.2-mile Detroit Free Press/Chemical Bank Marathon for a quick 10-minute wedding. The couple said they kept the ceremony short so their muscles wouldn't get cold before finishing the race. The race was Black's first marathon and Phillips' 14th marathon. Black took up running March 2017, years after a snowmobiling accident left her requiring 20 surgeries and years of physical therapy to relearn how to walk. "So not only did Whitney run her first marathon, but we got married," Phillips told the Detroit Free Press. +--- Second Time's a Charm? ---+ Plans are continuing to launch a new Titanic. A replica of the infamous ship dubbed the Titanic II is set to make its first voyage in 2022, thanks to Australian billionaire Clive Palmer, who's fronting a group called Blue Star Line. Blue Star Line is trying to create an authentic Titanic experience, providing passengers with a ship that has the same interiors and cabin layout as the original vessel, while adding modern safety procedures and 21st century technology. It will welcome 2,400 passengers and 900 crew members, which is almost the exact same number on board the boat that sank in 1912. The replica project was originally announced in 2012, with a cruise from Dubai planned for 2018. Palmer told Cruise Arabia & Africa Online earlier this month that the new launch date for the new boat will be in 2022, which is 110 years after the original. He said the plan is for ship to sail from Dubai to Southampton, where it will begin its Southampton-New York runs. More than 1,500 people died when the original Titanic hit an iceberg and sank. +--- Don't Try to Kill Spiders With a Blowtorch ---+ Firefighters in California said a man house-sitting for his parents tried to use a blowtorch to kill some dangerous spiders and set the home on fire. The Fresno Fire Department said firefighters responded to reports of a house fire in the Woodward Lake housing development. Firefighters said the man who made the call escaped the house safely. He told firefighters he had found some black widow spiders in the house and had been trying to kill them with a blowtorch when he sparked the blaze. No injuries were reported from the fire, which damaged the second story of the home and the attic. Arizona's Tucson Fire Department responded to a similar incident in October 2017. The department said a man had been attempting to use a propane torch to kill some spiders under his family's mobile home when the structure caught fire. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _ /\ )\ _ __)_)__ .'`--`'. )\_ .-'._'-'_.'-. / ^ ^ \ .'`---`'. .'.' /o\'/o\ '.'. \ \/\/\/ / / <> <> \ : ._: 0 :_. : \ '------' _J_ | A |: \\/\_/\// : | _/)_ .'`---`'. \ <\_/> / : :\/\_/\/: : / .'`----`'./.'b d \ _?_._`"`_.'`'-:__:__:__:__:-' /.'<\ /> \: 0 | .'`---`'.`` _/( /\ |:,___A___,|' V===V / /.'a . a \.'`---`'. __(_(__ \' \_____/ /'._____.' |: ___ /.'/\ /\ \ .-'._'-'_.'-:.______.' _?_ \' \_/ |: ^ | .'.' (o\'/o) '.'. .'`"""`'. '._____.'\' 'vvv' / / :_/_: A :_\_: \ / ^.^ \ '.__.__.' | : \'=...='/ : | \ `===` / jgs \ : :'.___.': : / `-------` '-:__:__:__:__:-' We took the boys to the local pumpkin patch last week. It was so much fun! To celebrate our harvest hijinks we let the boys pick out a treat. Jack picked a bouncy ball that looked like a pumpkin and Sean picked out a little stuffed animal turtle, that looks almost like a real turtle. They were so cute. Later, after we got home, Sean decided to name his new turtle friend. He named him "Turtie", but when he says it it sounds like "Turdy". Sean was playing with him the other day and said this, and I quote, "Turdy, I see you poking out." This really did happened! Groaningly yours, Steve -<>- .-. heehee /aa \_ __\- / ) .-. .-. (__/ / heehee _/oo \ _/ ..\ / \ ( \v /__ ( \ u/__ / \__ \/ ___) \ \__) \_.-._._ ) .-. / \ / \ `-` / ee\_ / \_ __/ \ __\ o/ ) \_.-.__ ) ( _._.-._/ hoho (___ \/ '-' jgs '-' / \ _/ \ teehee ( __.-._/ '-' >Q and A Quickies Q: Why are ghosts bad at lying? A: Because you see right through them! Q: What's an optimistic vampire's favorite drink? A: B Positive! Q: How does a girl vampire flirt? A: She bats her eyes. Q: What do baby ghosts wear on their feet? A: Boo-ties! Q: What do you call a vampire with asthma? A: Vlad the inhaler! Q: What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcist? A: His house got repossessed! Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? A: With a pumpkin patch! Q: When does a skeleton laugh? A: When something tickles his funny bone! Q: What can't you give the headless horseman? A: A headache! Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar? A: For the Boos! Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom? A: His ghoul friend! Q: Where do ghosts water ski? A: On Lake Erie! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _______________________________ |\_____________________________/| || \ | / || || \ /|\ / || || /\'.__.' : '.__.'/\ || || __.' \ | / '.__ || ||'. /\`---':'---'/\ .'|| ||\ '. /` \__ _|_ __/ `\ .' /|| || | /. /\ ` : ` /\ .\ | || || | | './ \ _|_ / \.' | | || ||/ '/. /'. /\ : /\ .'\ .\' \|| ||__/___/___/_\(_)/_\___\___\__|| || \ \. \ /(O)\ / / / || ||\ .\' \.' \/_:_\/ './ '/. /|| || | | .'\ / | \ /'. | | || || | \' \/_._:_._\/ '/ | || ||/ .' \ / | \ / '. \|| ||.:_ `\/.---.:.---.\/` _:.|| || '. / __ | __ \ .' || || \/.' '. : .' '.\/ || || / \|/ \ || ||____/_________|_________\____|| |/_jgs_________________________\| After shopping for weeks, I finally found the car of my dreams. It was only two years old and in beautiful condition. The salesman asked if I would like to take it for a test drive. We had traveled no more than two miles when the car broke down. The salesman called for a tow truck. When it arrived, we climbed into the front seat. While the driver was hooking up the car, the salesman turned to me with a smile and said, "Well, now, what is it going to take to put you behind the wheel of that beauty today?" -<>- To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember. After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father." -<>- My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year- old's antics and pounded the table. Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!" The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!" -<>- __..--, .-' / .` / / | /==========| _______/___________|______ '-------<<<<<<<<<<<<<\------' ,--'a <<<<<<<<<<<< (___. >>>>>>>>>>> .--'--' <<<<<<<<<<< `--,___,>>>>>>>>>> _,-' '. _.--'' _.-' \ .' _.-' \ \ (`'--..__ /'-,__.' ,-~~`. | `'--..__`'--..__ ,' `- | `'--..__/ .' / | , / ,\/.___ `-._ |\ ('-.\|=-._`=-._ jgs / (`-.__/-`-,___;-.>/=-._=-._=._ _/-` | / ( /|'_=-._=-._ /___/Y_/-` | `=-._=-._= /___/Y =-. A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must be rather difficult." the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset." -<>- If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free....you either married it or gave birth to it. -<>- [This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...] A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been. After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin'." So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared." At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody knows pie are round... CORNBREAD are squared!" ========================================================= GREAT PUMPKIN IS COMIN' TO TOWN (Sung to the tune Santa Claus is Coming to Town) .--. Oh, you better not shriek, you better not groan, /`-'/ You better not howl, you better not moan, .----,_| (__ Great Pumpkin is coming to town! { ="""`/`""`__ `'-. /`---'`_\ /_ ' \ He's going to find out | ' / \ / \ ' | from folks that he meets, | . / _| | _\ . | Who deserves tricks and who deserves treats; | \(o/ \(o/ | Great Pumpkin is coming to town! | ,__) /\ (__, | / |\ \/ /| \ He'll search in every pumpkin patch, | | '._ _.' | | haunted houses far and near; | \ `|_| / | To see if you've been spreading gloom, | ' `\ /` ' | or bringing lots of cheer! | . \-.--/ . | \ . '--' . / So you better not shriek, you better not groan, '-...-'._ _.'-...-' You better not howl, you better not moan; jgs `` Great pumpkin is coming to town!! >-->From The Jokester: >Defining Different Heights Height of Isolation: Two people sitting side by side using text to communicate with each other. Height of Cowardice: Two persons fighting through text. Height of Helplessness: Receiving no text messages for a week. Height of Frustration: The phone is out of power. Height of Carelessness: Writing a love email and doing a 'Send All.' Height of Achievement: A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a text reply. Height of Timepass: A person sending text to himself. Height of Expectation: Sending Indian cricket team an e-mail, wishing them to win a match. "An Honest Mistake" A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, flipped him the bird while screaming in frustration that she missed her chance to get through the intersection because of him. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome- plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!" -<>- _...----. .' .-'` ,''--..; / | _______/________|_______ `-----/// _\ /_ \\\-----` .---./ / o\/o \ \.---. <(_ /// \__/\__/ \\\ _)> _.---. '-. // oo \\ .-' .' .__`\ o /// __..--..__ \\\ / \`\| o-'*'-o //| '\/\/\/\/' |\\ / ; ' \*\|/*/ ;--. """" .-; | _ _ | .-'---'-. / \|||-....(|||`\ | (o) (o) | / \ /\ /\|/ | | .---, |/ \ / ; ' | | / e e \ | '. .' | '-. \ \| ^ |/ '---' | \_ ()._-_.() T R I C K | .._.----/` \ ,/\'._.'/\. ' . | / ``"-/||\ \ / \/ \/ \ O R | | `7, | ^^_____^^ | | . /// _ | |oOO` `OOo| T R E A T ; |' / |_) _ | \| '._____.' |/ / \-| |_)/ \ _ | |:: | '.__ __,; `| \_// \ | |:: | ````` | | \_/ ; |:: | | \ / \::. /_____________| ``'--..___/ '._______.' '-| | |-' | |_ | _| | | | __.-; \ | / /-._|_.-\ \ \_|_/ /`'-.|.-'`\ / jgs /--T--\ / .'. \'-..____.---''''`` (__/ \__) \____/ \___/ >Halloween at a Hospital An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was just another one and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the poo out of a ghost." ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: /'. .'\ \( \__/ )/ ___ / (.)(.) \ ___ _.-"`_ `-.| ____ |.-` _`"-._ .-'.-'//||`'-.\ V--V /.-'`||\\'-.'-. `'-'-.// || / .___. \ || \\.-'-'` `-.||_.._| |_.._||.-' \ (( )) / jgs '. .' `\/` >"Advice for Yankees Moving South" 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel drive with a 12 pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. 4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. 5. Remember: "Y'alL" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive. 6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?" 7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either. 8. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshields, which comes from yelling at other drivers. 9. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle. 10. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say. -<>- * don't drink and drive * '. `~~`~`~~^`~~`~^~^`~~`~~`~^~`. .` / `> ' . ' ". _ '-"` . ` ' . | . ' / .' ,'~^~^~^`^~~^`^~`~~~^~~~^; ' ' | .-' \ ` : ` . "| /| : | . | | / | ' " | __.--~\ | | : . | `~--.__/ | . ' | \ | .' | ' "| _.-") \_| . _ .|.-"_.-" / \______// |.-" / \___/_ \ | .| / | /\/ /" | / | ./ / | _.( |_ \__/ ' '| __ _.-"_.-\ / \: | . | _.=~\ _\.-"_.-' `) \`.=\ .' | _.=~_.=~\\.-\-" / | \=\__ | | .=~_.=~_\\_/ / `) \ __) '| =~_.=~_.=` ( / |` . | ~_.=~ )__/'| ' " '| | . " | ' .| '-"_'"-'_"'-_'"-_''_"-"-_"-\ \/' ' . '`\/"/- '"-_-"'_ -_ --"-"_jgs_""-_'"--"'_-"-'\\/.\\' / /".\,//\//'-"-_'"-"'_ -"-'_-"_-"-_"-"'_'-"-"_``"-`"_`'""-`''""'-_'"-"-_"'"- >Ten Signs That You're Too Old for Halloween 1. You get winded from knocking on the door. 2. You have to ask someone to chew your candy for you. 3. You ask for high fiber candy only. 4. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 5. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask. 6. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest. 7. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders. 8. You carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece. 9. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. 10. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Houses For Hermits! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/house.html Watermelon And Egg Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/watermelon.html Egyptian Museum In Cairo! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/egyptianmuseum.html Extreme Pumpkin Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin.html Best Costumes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/costumes.html Taking A Catnap 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catnap2.html Egg Face Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eggface.html Baby squirrel Finnegan! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/finnegan.html Here's Your Frog! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html Halloween Lip Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lipart2.html Pets Being Pets! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petsbeingpets.html Pets In Camouflage http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshiding2.html Crop Circles 2009! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mystery2.html Fall And Halloween INDEX! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/halloweenindex.html -<>- Some of Shangrala's Best Pages http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html -<>- Emergency Health Alerts https://tinyurl.com/y9x7n8qz Emergency RECALLS Alerts https://tinyurl.com/ybrhelv2 Lizards Are Silly - I couldn't stop watching this one! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v1uj9lzQyQ Woman Rescues Baby Squirrel — Then Becomes A Complete Squirrel Mom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFzfY74lB1M ASK OXFORD Oxford dictionaries makes way for a resourceful yet captivating site including all the fun that language can bring. Words and quotes which stimulate the mind on a daily basis. Look smart, impress your friends, learn a new word today. http://www.askoxford.com/?view=uk Horror Icon Vincent Price's 14 Most Legendary Performances From io9.com: 'Tis the season to blast "Thriller" and binge-watch all your favorite scary movies. Naturally, the mind drifts to one of the greatest talents the genre ever knew: Vincent Price. The actor had a long, varied career-he was also an art expert and a cookbook author!-but here are our favorite spooky and offbeat highlights. https://tinyurl.com/y9glq7by 33 Everyday Things That Scared The Crap Out Of You As A Kid From Cracked.com: It's fairly scary, being a child. There are lots of important, serious things to worry about. Which makes it all the more puzzling when we wind up being afraid of random, mundane things that aren't actually frightening or dangerous. Take a look at scary childhood things that'll really freak you out! https://tinyurl.com/ydfcohdt -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) If you have ever wondered what it’s like to drive a Monster Truck then this video will give you a look inside the world of Monster Truck Jam. The video features Monster Jam driver Brianna Mahon who drives the truck called “Whiplash”. As you might have guessed, Brianna is one of a few female truck drivers in the Monster Truck Jam. Seeing the tricks and stunts these Monster Truck drivers are able to pull off it’s easy to understand why they sell out these events as it is entertaining to watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CVj4MsVzmI --- ...These are cool! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Check out Why I — the Pastor — Disguised Myself as a Homeless Man Outside My Church | Newsmax.com https://tinyurl.com/ybdamm85 --- ...Enlightening! Thanks Melody! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A London architect has come up with a concept for a floating hotel that is self-sustaining and could potentially move around the world. Great job, architect. You just invented the cruise ship." -Seth Meyers "Two guys in New Hampshire were arrested after they tried to rob a group of people playing Bingo. Cops became suspicious when they saw a car driving away from the Bingo hall going more than 10 miles an hour." -Jimmy Fallon "Music duo Hall & Oates is reportedly suing a company over a cereal named Haulin' Oats. Though the company says it's totally different because in their cereal, oats is the star." -Seth Meyers "A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don't drink at all. At least, that's what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new study shows that elected leaders don't live as long as their defeated opponents. So if there's a candidate you really don't like, vote for them." -Stephen Colbert "The post office just can't get its act together. They announced today they want to raise the price of stamps so they can make an extra $2 billion. That is still better than their original plan - uninvent the Internet." -Jimmy Fallon "Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in the Boston area drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. Pediatricians say giving caffeine to toddlers can cause depression, diabetes, sleep disturbance, and obesity. On the plus side they get a lot more finger painting done." -Jimmy Kimmel "A developer has created a zero-gravity martini glass, which promises to let astronauts drink cocktails in space without spilling. Our astronauts are drinking? Guys, the first step is admitting to Houston that you have a problem." -Seth Meyers "Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don't know; that actually might make me START smoking." -Jimmy Kimmel "We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath. 'Well, I'm bored...let's go brush our teeth.' Or, 'I've got to make a phone call, hold this gum in your mouth.'" --Brad Stine "Looking through the want ads last week, I came across a job that required a college degree or the equivalent. Finally, I thought, my eight years of high school are paying off." --Buzz Nutley "Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where every problem can be solved with violence." --Bill Maher "It's Halloween; everyone's entitled to one good scare." --Charles Cyphers as Sheriff Brackett in "Halloween" "Whatever you do... don't fall asleep." --Heather Langenkamp as Nancy Thompson in "A Nightmare on Elm Street" "They're coming to get you, Barbara!" --Russell Streiner as Johnny in "Night of the Living Dead" ================= ___ \--/ .' `"-._ Since this is the time /`-' '-`\ / , `'-_.-. for goblins and bats, / \ / /`'. ,' _ | /.'|/\ /\|'.\ `-' `-. ,' ,'\\/ \/ \, ,' ee`-. Halloween spirits and / ./ ,(_ \ , ghosts and cats, (_/\\\ \__|`--' || ///\\| \ || ////||-./`-.} .--|| Weird happenings and / `-.__.-`_.-.| witches brew, | '._,-'`|___} `; / '. |/ || ,;'` | '.__,.-` || ':, These are the things | | || ,;' I wish for you: / / _,.||oOoO.,_ | | \-.O,o_O..-/ / / / \ May the only ghost | / / \ that comes to stay, | | | , | / | \ ) ( ) / Be the Holy Ghost jgs | \ ,'.(:, ),: (_.'. to guide your way. / /'.' ="`""="="=="= '. `'"---'-.__.'"""` ` "" "" `"" ,, , ,, ,\\//, .--') ,\\//, ,\\\///, ,, / / May the only spirit ,\\\///, \\\\//// ,\\//, | / you chance to meet, \\\\//// \\\/// ,\\\///, /'.\ (_.'\ \\\/// ###### \\\\//// \ / ###### ////\\\\ \\\/// '--. .---' Be the spirit of love ////\\\\ /////\\\\\###### ( " ) and warm friends sweet, /////\\\\\//////\\\\////\\\\ '-' //////\\\\\\/,///\\\/////\\\\\ _ ///////\_?_\\(_) //////\\\\\\, ( \ May the only tricks .'`---`'. _j_/////\\\\\(_) ) ) you are /.'a a \.'`---`'. jgs ( ( .-""-. A.-.A asked to do, |: ^ /.'d\ /b \ \ \/ \/ , , \ \' www |: ^ | \ \ =; t /= '._____.'\' VVV / \ |"". ',--' Be the trick '._____.' / // | || of getting /_,)) |_,)) a friend or two. (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. Huggums!... :) Shangy! >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************