Happy Freedom Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hot new page is from our friend Karen. It is sure to give yous some smiles and maybe even some good belly laughs. Check this one out here... _.-""""-. ( ': '. .___.' : : _.."----".._ .-" "-. ." ". .":.".. .' `. : '.' : :" "": : .-" .'""-: .-"""-. :": : : ". .' `. : " '-._ : : _:" : : "" : : : : _ : : : '. : : : `#. ' : : _:. : '. ' `#. : grp : '._ .' : . ." .-" :"-._ _.-" (_. '. ""------"" (_.: . : '.:`-' .::"- .:::::. .':::::::: ' `::::' " The USA Of Crazy Laws http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscrazylaws.html --- ...Amazing how silly these real laws are! Thanks Karen! -<>- *~* We Had An Excellent Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month! ,~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~. ;::::::::::::::::::: {::}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{::} {::} ,'`. {::} {:} __ {:} {:} _-~ ~-_ {:} {:} {:} {:.------. .------.:} ,-/| ;<' |=~~=| `>: |\-. | | ( c) | | (c ) | | \ | `' | | `' | / / `------'/ \`------' \ | / \ | | (*_ _*) | \ __-' `' `-__ / | | | ,'~~-~~`. | | (#########) | | \ \#-~~~-#/ / | \ / ` -_ -______- _- ' | | FRM >Be Sure To Share These With Your Friends And Family :) Pet Confessions http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petconfessions.html Life's Little Oops 14! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops14.html Where's Rudolph? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/reindeer.html Amazing Trivia Facts 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts2.html Amazing Trivia Facts 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts3.html Elephant Rescue 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephant4.html Dog Family Portraits http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogfamilies.html Disney Wisdom http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneywisdom.html Big Baby Big Dogs 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigdogs2.html Brilliant Women Inventors http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womeninventors.html Singapore's Sky Park http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skypark.html Humorous Boat Names http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boatnames.html _..---.._ .' .-'''-. '. / .' _..._'. \ __ : : /`;' ) : : _,="`\ ,--''` ``'.; : |; ,-; : ; __..==""==.,_| `-, `; .\; / ^\ _,.="// '-,_.--._ '.(;_.'__/`_.-'`\ ,.--''`` _..=. `'--.// `` \ `--, '` `- |_\ '-. | `-._ _.;--`-..___,.-'` `'-...-_:',;`==,| \ _.--',=" / /"=;="=, _.' ,=".-'` .' /| ,=" _.--' .-' "=, : .' | ", `;._ .--'.' .-' .' . ; ,;;\_ . '._.'--'` -' / ,;;;._ '-._ .''.__.' `\_ .' '._ / '._ .(` jgs '._ ';./ `;` * May God Abundantly Bless All Our Wonderful Contributors! :) ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ..:::::::.. //////\\\\\\\ ||||||||||||| ||||||||||||| ||||||||||||| HH ||||||||||||| HH HH==================HH HH==================HH HH ############# HH HH ############# HH HH ########### HH HH ######### HH HH ####### HH HH ##### HH HH () HH \\ () // \\ () // \\ () // \\ (// \\ //)( ____\/___() ,#################.... ##################### ``` ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ unknown "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. You'll be happy to know that when I gave my speech to the secretary to be typed, I asked her to eliminate all that was on the dull side. So, in conclusion..." -<>- As British tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them arm loaded with belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. "England," the husband replied. Looking at the wife's dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. "She's not from the UK." "Yes I am," said the wife. He looked at her and asked, "Is he your husband?" "Yes," she replied. Turning to the husband, he offered... "I'll give you 100 camels for her." The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied, "She's not for sale." After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home." -<>- .-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-. -._.".--.._.-._.-._"_._.-._.-._ ( ( ) .--." ( '.___ ( * ) '--' *( ) '.____) * ) ( ( '--' * _ ( ) ) __ _. /,' ) * ( ( .' ' '- ( ) )- /.;, ) * ) ( * . ( ^ (' > POP! < ( ) /)\_v/ /'. ) ( .-|\/|-../"/. ( ) /_/ /'. \_) * ( (___'. /# / // ) \\_;'./ // * /--'.___/ ( _/ ' '. \ \-. '. <- me uncorking \ \ '. \ a bottle of \ ) ) ) *CHAMPAGNE*! mrf) | / | / |(___| | | \ -\ \.--:_ \__) ___,_____\____) _____._______ >Excuses For Missing Work 1. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today. 2. When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it. 3. I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early. 4. My stigmata's acting up. 5. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? 6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet... 7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant. 8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Dodgers, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling. 9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb. 10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information. 11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled. 12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet. 13. I prefer to remain an enigma. 14. My step-mother has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it. 15. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. 16. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian. 17. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates. 18. I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 1 is National Freedom Day February 2 is Ground Hog Day and Candlemas February 3 is The Day the Music Died February 4 is Create a Vacuum Day and Thank a Mailman Day February 5 is National Weatherman's Day February 6 is Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day and Lame Duck Day February 7 is Send a Card to a Friend Day and Superbowl Sunday ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .-------. _|~~ ~~ |_ =(_|_______|_)= |:::::::::| |:::::::[]| |o=======.| jgs `"""""""""` >Typist My sister answered an advertisement for a typist to work on a book about weather forecasting. She gave her typing speed as: "Approximately 55 w.p.m. with occasional gusts of 60 to 65 w.p.m." She got the job. -<>- >Studio Photographer Two weeks after my one-year-old's photo shoot, I returned to the studio to view the pictures on a color monitor. The photographer started describing the merits of each photo, but as he went through the set, he spoke so quickly that I couldn't get a word in as he pressed home his sales pitch. Finally, after we'd seen all 20 poses, he asked me which ones I was most interested in. "None," I replied. "This isn't my child." -<>- >Old Tractors A little girl was watching her daddy repair his tractor. She asked her mother, "What happens to old tractors when they finally stop working?" Sighing, her mother answered: "Someone sells them to your father, dear." -<>- >Curfew This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m. for anyone under seventeen years of age. He told his Dad how happy he was that now he could stay out until 3:00 a.m. if he wanted. His father replied, "Yes you can stay out as late as you want, but the car is under seventeen and it has to be in the garage by eleven." -<>- >Revenge is Sweet I live in New Jersey and I'm used to having people cut me off on the highway. But this one time I was cut off by a convertible -- he missed my car by inches --- and the driver made an obscene gesture to boot. Still steamed, I noticed that we had gotten off at the same exit and the convertible's driver had pulled into an office complex parking lot. I pulled my car over and waited for the driver to leave the parking lot and enter the building. Then I entered the lot and pulled up next to the car. Well, as my luck would have it, I had just made a stop at the supermarket and had a loaf of bread that I was willing to donate to the cause. So I did. I tore up a few slices of bread and threw the pieces into the front and back seats of the open convertible. Then I drove off out of the lot and pulled off across the street to watch. It didn't take long for the seagulls to start descending ... ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) >SMILES ---.----.__..----.----| _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ | | | | | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |--.- ---'--.-----'----'--.-| | || || || || || || || | | `| |: (| | | || || || || || || || | |--'- |:. | | _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ | ------'----.-.,----.'-| -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |-.-- ,/) | | | | || || || || || || || | | |` ----.---8--'--.----'--| | || || || || || || || | | | | 8 |: | _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ |-'-- | ,)// |:. | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |:. ----'-`=;'--.-'-.----.| | || || || || || || || | |--.- // /_ _( \ | | || || || || || || || | | /| ---.-//----)/\,'_/----| _|_||___||___||___||___||___||___||_|_ | `| |/| `;=.( | -.-..---..---..---..---..---..---..-.- |--'- ( |`.`. |`,-/ |,-'-||---||---||---||---||---||---||-'-.| -`-'-.`.`-.';'=`.-..--'-.--------.-------------.--.-------.----'--.- | `-./.}{-'\.) | ) | `) | \ | :`-}{-''|| |:. | ,_ | |:. | ---'`'-.--|`-}{-'||)----'-.------'--'.,`--.----'--------.-'-------'- | :`-`'-'/)| | |:. | -.-----'--;`.}{,`.||----,-'--------.------'---.--------,'--.,------- |: ,'/.`..'_(/( |: | | \ |:. ,',' |`--`.(')) |:. | | |: -'--,' <.._|__,. >`,----'----------'--------.,'-------------'----SSt ``----....(',' _,'>' )/ `' Jimmy was sent to prison for his crime, but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all about serving his full term. The warden asked him why, since most prisoners immediately start planning how they can get out early. Jimmy replied, "Well, my wife has never let me finish a sentence the whole time we've been married. I don't think she will this time, either!" -------- An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a ninety-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset. "What happened, Mother?" her daughter asked. "I had to slap his face three times!" "You mean he got fresh?" "No," she answered, "I thought he was dead!" -------- A lady went to a pet shop. "I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner. "We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner replied, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets. "That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated. But the pet store owner refused to give up. He told the woman, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripened yet." -------- A couple decided to take their teenage daughter to a shopping mall in a nearby town one weekend. As they were getting ready to go, the girl came downstairs dressed in short shorts and a spaghetti string top. An anticipated fight broke out between her and the husband over her inappropriate attire. In order to keep the peace, the mother stepped in and reminded her husband that when they were young she had dressed the same way. It was the style. He exclaimed, "Yeah! Well if you remember right I had something to say about that, too!" "Yes, dear," she replied, "you did... you asked me for my address and phone number!" ------- A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, "Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?" A little boy answered: "My Mommy says my prayers." "I see," said the teacher, "and what does your Mother say?" Replied the little boy: "THANK GOD HE'S IN BED!" -------- A blonde wanted to sell her pet Python, so she listed it on eBay. A guy rang up and asked if it was big. She said, "It's massive!" He asked, “How many feet?" She answered, "None, Stupid...it's a snake"! -------- Sandra: "I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men." Cindy: "TELL me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!" Sandra: "Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?" Cindy: "I thought I asked legitimate questions - things like, 'Why did you hit the ball into that lake?'" -------- Child at dinner table: "Are caterpillars good to eat?" Parent: "No. Why would you ask a question like that?" Child: "Well, there was one in your salad, but it's gone now." -------- A Catholic Priest, a Protestant Minister and a Rabbi are discussing the question of when life begins. "Without any doubt," says the Priest, "life begins at the moment of conception." "No, no!" says the Protestant Minister. "Life begins at the moment of birth, when the baby emerges." "No way," says the Rabbi. "Life begins when the last kids are out of college." -------- A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the White House so the President could have a look at it. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. He wrote: "Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted 95%." ------- Millions of years ago, before there was such thing as the wheel, the only way to move things was by carrying or dragging. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food preparation area. It was exhausting work. The men were getting tired, just WATCHING. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea. They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- ___________________ | | | | | | | | | | | | |.________|________.| | | | | | /@ | | @|@` | | __\|/__ | __|_______\_____/_____|_ | \_____________________/ |\ \ ||\ \ .__. || \ \ \ = \ . ~ ~ . || |\ \ \ \` ~ ' ~ ~` || ||\ \ \ = \~ ~ ~' -( ____ || || \ \ \ \~ ! . /= / || || \ \ _____ \ = \`:~; /= =/ || || ||\ .\===/ \ \--.=-. /_,_/ || || || \ | | \ = \ ) /"/ || || || \| | \ \ \__/ / @\`@ ~\@/ %| |____________\== \__._/__. ,_______________ @~ \%\|/@*/~@~| \___________\ \ % \|/ %|*/~@~\@| // \\ \ , @~ \%\/|@*/~/@*| .//________\\ \ \ @ \/ @<|/@<*`\@| // \\ \ \ `@*,\^@|/^@/| | .`'// \\. \ \ www @ *| www| |Pru `-._`------------''''.) \. ____________________________```-------'''----'|\__+________ ___________________________________________________________ >This little poem tells it pretty much like it was 50 years ago. A little house with two bedrooms and one car on the street, A mower that you had to push, to make the grass look neat. In the kitchen on the wall, we only had one phone, And no need for recording things - someone was always home. We only had a living room, where we would congregate, Unless it was at meal time, in the kitchen where we ate. We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine, When meeting as a family those two rooms would work out fine. We only had one TV set and channels - maybe two, But always there was one of them, with something worth the view. For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip And if you wanted flavor, you made Lipton's onion dip. Weekends were for family trips, or staying home to play, We all did things together, even go to church to pray. When we did our weekend trips, depending on the weather, No one stayed at home because we liked to be together. Sometimes we would separate, to do things on our own, But we knew where the others were, without our own cell phone. Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star And nothing can compare to watching, movies in your car. Then there were the picnics, at the peak of summer season, Pack a lunch and find some trees - and never need a reason. Get a baseball game together, with the friends you know, Have real action playing ball - and no game video. Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend, And didn't need insurance - or a lawyer to defend The way that he took care of you, or what he had to do, Because he took an oath, and strive to do the best for you. Remember going to the store - and shopping casually, And when you went to pay for it, you used your own money? Nothing that you had to swipe or - punch in some amount, Remember when the cashier person had to really count? Remember when we breathed the air, it smelled so fresh and clean, And chemicals were not used on the grass, to keep it green. The milkman and the bread man used to go from door to door, And it was just a few cents more than going to the store. There was a time when mailed letters, came right to your door, Without a lot of junk mail ads, sent out by every store. The mailman knew each house by name and knew where it was sent, There was not loads of mail addressed to: "Present Occupant". There was a time when just one glance, was all that it would take, And you would know the kind of car, the model and the make. They didn't look like turtles, trying to squeeze every mile, They were streamlined, white walls and fins -- and really had some style. One time the music that you played, whenever you would jive, Was from a vinyl, big holed record called a forty-five. The record player had a post, to keep them all in line, And then the records would drop down and play one at a time. Oh sure we had our problems then - just like we do today, And always we were striving - trying for a better way. And every year that passed us by brought new and greater things, We now can even program phones, with music or with rings. Oh the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun, How can you explain a game - just kick the can and run. And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle spokes? And for a nickel, red machines had little bottled cokes. This life seemed so much easier - and slower in some ways, I love the new technology but I sure miss those days. So time moves on and so do we - and nothing stays the same, But I sure love to reminisce, and walk down memory lane. --- ...A delightful one! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) [Politics} ,---. | ,-- \ "" \ \__ O | | .------o---.| | (`"-------'''| | `--.._____..| | | | | | Troy drives to President Obama's new house, which is located in a very exclusive, gated community near Chicago, where all the residents have a net income of way more than $250,000 per year. Troy arrives and takes his tools into the house. He is led to the guest bathroom that contains the leaky pipe under the sink. Troy assesses the problem and tells Obama that it's an easy repair, that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asks Troy how much it will cost. Troy checks his rate chart and says, "$9,500." "What?! $9,500?!" Obama asks, stunned, "But you said it's an easy repair. Michelle will kill me if I pay a plumber that much!" Troy says, "Yes, but what I do is charge those who make more than $250,000 per year a much higher amount so I can fix the plumbing of poorer people for free. This has always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied the Democrat Congress, who passed this philosophy into law. Now all plumbers must do business this way. It's known as the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2015'. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it." In spite of that, Obama tells Troy there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Troy leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book calling for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses in the area have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Troy 's price, Obama does nothing and the leak goes un-repaired for several more days. A week later the leak is so bad President Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink. Michelle is not happy as she has Oprah and guests arriving the next morning. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk the room will flood, so Obama calls Troy and pleads with him to return. Troy goes back to Obama's house, looks at the leaky pipe, checks his new rate chart and says, "Let's see, this will now cost you $21,000." Obama quickly fires back, "What? A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!" Troy explains, "Well, because of the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' a lot of wealthier people are learning how to maintain and take care of their own plumbing, so there are fewer payers in the plumbing exchanges. As a result, the price I have to charge wealthy people like you keeps rising. Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work by those who get it for free has skyrocketed! There's a long waiting list of those who need repairs, but the amount we get doesn't cover our costs, especially paperwork and record-keeping. This unfortunately has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, they're not being replaced, and nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they can't make any money at it. I'm hurting too, all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their 'fair share'. On the other hand, why didn't you buy plumbing insurance last December? If you had bought plumbing insurance available under the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' all this would have been covered by your policy." "You mean I wouldn't have to pay anything to have you fix my plumbing problem?" asks Obama. "Well, not exactly," replies Troy . "You would have had to buy the insurance before the deadline, which has passed now. And, because you're rich, you would have had to pay $34,000 in premiums, which would have given you a 'silver' plan, and then, since this would have been your first repair, you would have to pay up to the $21,000 deductible, and anything over that would have a $7,500 co-pay, and then there's the mandatory maintenance program, which is covered up to 17.5%, so there are some costs involved. Nothing is for free." "WHAT?!" exclaims Obama. "Why so much for a puny sink leak?!" With a bland look, Troy replies, "Well, paperwork, mostly, like I said. And the internal cost of the program itself. You don't think a program of this complexity and scope can run itself, do you? Besides, there are millions of folks with lower incomes than you, even many in the 'middle class', who qualify for subsidies that people like you must support. That's why they call it the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'! Only people who don't make much money can get it. If you want affordable plumbing, you'll have to give away most of what you have accumulated and cut your and Michelle's income by about 90%. Then you can qualify to GET your 'Fair Share' instead of GIVING it." "But who would pass a crazy act like the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'?!" exclaims the exasperated Obama. After a sigh, Troy replies, "Congress... because they didn't read it." This will help you understand Obamacare... And here you have it, the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2015'. What a marvelous explanation. --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann! Especially sounds like what will be done with it if socialist Sanders and Hillary have their way! They both want to expand Obamacare! We lost several small businesses here due to the up and coming new Obamacare. They didn't want to have to deal with all the new laws and worry over their employees health care so they just closed. Saw that happen all over Ohio. Lots of people lost jobs and we all lost good stores and restaurants in our communities. Those that hung on had to change and make sure their employees were not getting more than 30 hours work or they would be considered full time and have to be given employee health benefits under the new Obama care laws. So instead of 35 hours a week under the old 40 hour full time week, employee hours were cut to 25 or less to ensure no full time benefits. That made them hire more people and give less hours per person. It also made people have to seek second jobs or make due with a whole lot less money. So good old Obama can say unemployment numbers are down but that is the reason. People are working harder and making less than they used to before everyone had to deal with the so called 'affordable health care'. A lot of our small downtown city areas look like half ghost towns with all the closed small businesses. It's just the socialist way. -<>- >1949 Poem - Ode To The Welfare State: \ \ , | , \ / ,,_--_, \./ ,// _ _\ \./ ;;\ // x x /;;; \ \ | _\ / / \ \ \ o / / / \ `-'\__/-' / \ \/ / | /\ | | |//|| | \/ | .--'-----'-----. /| | / | | | | ,d888b, | | | J8888888L | :F_P: | | 888888888 | On 3 November 1949, President Harry Truman appeared in St. Paul, Minnesota, in conjunction with that state's Truman Day Celebration, and that evening he delivered an address to local residents on the subject of opposition to Democratic efforts to promote the general welfare. President Truman's remarks ostensibly prompted the New York Daily News to dub his address a "pie-for-everybody" speech and publish the following "Ode to a Welfare State" in response: >Ode To The Welfare State: Father, must I go to work? No, my lucky son. We’re living on easy street On dough from Washington. We’ve left it up to Uncle Sam, So don’t get exercised. Nobody has to give a damn – We’ve all been SUBSIDIZED! But if Sam treats us all so well And feeds us milk and honey, Please, daddy tell me what the hell He’s going to use for money? Don’t worry, bub, there’s not a hitch In this noble plan – He’s simply soaks the filthy rich And helps the common man. But, farther, wont there come a time When they run out of cash And we have left them not a dime When things will go to smash? My faith in you is shrinking, son, You nosy little brat; You do too much thinking, son, To be a Democrat. --- ...Oh My! LOL! I love it! Sounds like our Dems today! Thanks Geniann! As they say, history repeats itself! Here is the full of this one here: http://www.snopes.com/photos/politics/welfareode.asp ========================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: The next time you have a pair of nail clippers or a bottle of shampoo confiscated at the airport, consider what happened (or more specifically, didn't happen) to passengers at New York's Kennedy Airport recently. Passengers arriving at JFK on an international flight were allowed to exit the busy hub without going through Customs. Airline and security officials let travelers from Cancun, Mexico, out of the airport without having their passports or bags checked. A 34-year-old man who had been vacationing in Cancun told The News he was able to go from the plane to the baggage claim area without having to endure Customs and Border Protection security checks. "It's absolutely absurd," the man said. "To think that anyone could be walking off of that plane and just get right into the city." The man said he even approached a Transportation Security Administration agent near the exit, but was told he was free to go. "I told them what happened and asked them what should I do," the passenger said. "They said to me 'That's fine, you're OK. Go ahead.'" But apparently it wasn't okay, because hours after the plane landed the man said airline officials contacted him and pleaded with him, and presumably other passengers, to return to Kennedy and complete the customs process. Because THAT would catch drug mules and terrorists. I wish I could have heard that conversation; "Please re-pack your bags including any drugs, weapons or other contraband you may have been trying to smuggle into the United States, and return to the airport to go through customs and security. I wonder how that worked out for them. A nearly identical incident involving another flight from Cancun occurred in November. -<>- We all know smoking is dangerous, but when e-cigarettes came out smokers thought they had finally a way to smoke without all the risk. Of course, sticking an electro-chemical battery in your mouth comes with its own risks. 16-year-old Ty Greer, a teen in Alberta, Canada, suffered second degree burns and broken teeth after his e-cigarette spontaneously exploded just inches from his mouth while he was using it in his car. "It lit my kid's face on fire, busted two teeth out," Perry Greer, Ty's father, said. "It burned the back of his throat, burned his tongue very badly. If he wasn't wearing glasses, he possibly could have lost his eyes." The Smoke-Free Alternatives Trade Association released a statement saying, "Electronic cigarettes and vapor products are electronic devices and do not combust. They should be thought the same as other rechargeable electrical equipment such as laptops and cell phones, in terms of being battery powered. We cannot speak to user error or on behalf of a manufacturer for their device." Of course, the fact that the defective vapor product was made in China might have something to do with it. And Ty Greer is not the first to fall victim to a malfunctioning e-cigarette. An Orange County, California, teen also suffered burns after an e-cigarette exploded in his pocket. In fact, there have been dozens of incidents in the U.S. in the last six years. Still probably better than throat cancer, though. *-- They Take Their Shovels Seriously in New Jersey --* You never rub another man's rhubarb and you don't touch another woman's snow shovel. At least not in Newark. And not after a 2-foot snowfall. According to Newark police, a 38-year-old victim told officers he found a shovel on the ground outside a neighbor's home. As he dug away at the snow, however, he was confronted by a female neighbor who claimed the shovel belonged to her. The man returned the shovel, but while walking back to his home, he was again accosted by the woman and three men, one of whom pointed a gun at the victim's head. At the woman's command, the assailant fired a single shot at the victim, striking him in the buttocks. The victim attempted to grab the gun, but was struck in the mouth by a second woman during the ensuing struggle. He then fled back to his home, while the group of attackers fled in a vehicle. There is no report of what happened to the shovel. *---- No Good Time For Porn - Especially Not In Traffic ----* Police in Michigan, were called to a single vehicle accident and found the driver without pants. Police said that the 58- year-old man died after his car crashed and rolled over on the ramp from the Lodge to I-75. Police discovered that the driver was watching adult videos while driving his car. The preliminary investigation revealed that the driver of the car was not wearing his seatbelt or his pants when he lost control of the car. He was partially ejected through the sunroof and died at the scene. *-- Because This Kind of Thing Happens in Puerto Rico --* BARCELONETA - A 31-year-old Puerto Rican poker fan who died recently was treated to his hobby one last time when his body was seated at a card table during his wake. The family of Henry Rosario Martinez, 31, contacted the Eternal Light Funeral Home in Barceloneta after his death and asked that the man's remains be embalmed, dressed and seated at a poker table during his wake. Martinez's wake included poker games with the corpse seated at the table and friends and family posing for pictures with the deceased. "I want him to be remembered as a happy person because he was always like that," mother Sonia Martinez said. Wakes featuring the remains of deceased arranged in lifelike poses are becoming increasingly common in Puerto Rico, with recent examples including a paramedic posed in the back of an ambulance and a man posed at a table playing dominoes. [I would hate to be posed doing what I enjoyed doing most at my own wake.] *--------------- Figaro, Figaro, Figaro ---------------* Police officers were surprised when they kicked in the door of an Amsterdam man they thought was in trouble and shouting, only to discover he was actually trying to sing along with an opera recording. The man was enjoying his music wearing headphones, and did not notice the police at his door. The police were responding to an emergency call placed by a neighbor, who suspected the man was the victim of a violent domestic crime. The tipster told the dispatcher he "heard a terrifying scream from the house," police said. When police arrived on the scene, they also heard screams from inside the home. The resident did not come to the door until after officers kicked it in, police said. He was alone inside at the time. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend gh0striders :) ______ _\ _~-\___ = = ==(____AA____D \_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._ / o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_ `~-.__ ___..----.. ) `---~~\___________/------------````` = ===(_________D -Roland >IRISH AIRLINES.... Being airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin , the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up... One minute prior to take-off, by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and, unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience." When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 4 hour flight." Her next announcement came about 2 hours later. "If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available." -<>- >Catholic Heart Attack A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. "Do you have health insurance?" she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank." "Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun. He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law! -<>- .-""""-. / \ ) ` ____.-') ( _6 _ / ( \ _| ) / -._/ _.--' ( _ / , `-. ) // , \ . | ` ___.L\ ,--.\ \`,--'"\.-' '.-' )| "'----._ __/)_,-.__. | _ ,--L "' __.-'_/ ) \_/--\____.-' _.-' _-+ During a commercial airline flight, an experienced Air Force pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice, and upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "That's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!" Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears. The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And all these years, I've been chewing gum." -<>- The Captain gets on the loud-speaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?" One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the U.S. during the 1800's." The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter. When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-speaker and asks, "Just the four of you?" The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The other 26 million are already there!" Nobody on the destroyer laughed. -<>- >Got My Concealed Gun Permit Yesterday... ...and went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!! I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer. I still don't think I looked that bad. --- ...Oh Gee, LOL! Thanks gh0striders! ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: /| , ,/// /| // // ,/// // // // // // // || || || || // // || || // // || || // // || || || || \\,\|,|\_// \\)\)\\|/ )-."" .-( //^\` `/^\\ // | | \\ ,/_| 0| _ | 0|_\, /` `"=.v.="` `\ /` _."{_,_}"._ `\ jgs `/` ` \ ||| / ` `\` `",_ \\=^~^=// _,"` "=,\'-=-'/,=" '---' So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off! -<>- I had noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother. "Things haven't changed that much," she said. "The only difference is, before he didn't listen to me. Now, he can't." -<>- One night at about 3 a.m. my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side. The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bath- room. -<>- When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me. -<>- The banana loaf I was making was in the oven when my 16-year- old came into the kitchen where the family had gathered. "That bread smells about done don't you think, Mom?" he asked. I told him I had set the timer and it still had five minutes. A little later he repeated his suggestion. "Mom, I really think that loaf is done. Maybe you should check it." Always quick to come to my defense, my 13-year-old son said, "Eddie, Mom's been burning that banana bread for 20 years now. I think she knows when to take it out." -<>- A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'" "See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him." She wasn't selected for the jury. -<>- A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye." -<>- While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs. "I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit perfectly around his neck." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) >HELLMANN'S MAYONNAISE - a bit of unknown history Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as - Sinko De Mayo. WHAT? You expected something educational from me? You need a shot of Tequila. -<>- .-. .-. .-. .-. ( Y ) ( Y ) `| |` `| |` | 00|_ _|00 | | ,__) (__, | |,_| L_,| || || | \_, ,_/ | | | | | | | | | (` A `) (` A `) jgs '-' '-' '-' '-' >Just think About this... “We are told NOT to judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics." BUT... We are encouraged TO judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics” Now Who's crazy? -<>- >What Aisle is the Polish Sausage in? *Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days... A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?" The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?" The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?" The clerk replied, "Because this is Home Depot." -<>- __ __ ,-' `' \ _---``-- / _ _ ; __ `. / / `' \; /`----- ) / .-/ ,( ), \-. ; | \( \ / )/; | - _5 `7 -; / ( ___-' `-____ | ( ___`-_ \ ____| \ / `,/ \ _(\__ / \ \ ; \ .' /' `i. / | | \ _-'( _\__-/ `- | | ` ,` `_ | BP >WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY! *Our Phones ~ Wireless *Cooking ~ Fireless *Cars ~ Keyless *Food ~ Fatless *Tires ~ Tubeless *Dress ~ Sleeveless *Youth ~ Jobless *Leaders ~ Shameless *Relationships ~ Meaningless *Attitude ~ Careless *Wives ~ Fearless *Babies ~ Fatherless *Feelings ~ Heartless *Education ~ Valueless *Children ~ Mannerless Everything is becoming LESS but still Our hopes are ~ Endless. In fact we are ~ Speechless But Congress is - CLUELESS !! And our President is - WORTHLESS !! -<>- >You know the honeymoon is over, when the comedians start. The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. --Jay Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. --Conan O'Brien Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. --Jay Leno Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. --David Letterman Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? A: America! --Jimmy Fallon Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo? A: Bo has papers. --Jimmy Kimmel Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program? A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. --David Letterman -<>- >Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity OR __..----..__ __..--"" ""--..__ : : | | | .-""-. | | : : | | |______| | | | | | _:__________| |__________:_ .' `. The Democratic Party's basic 'platform planks' 10) Only in America... could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event. 9) Only in America... could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black. 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans – 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics! 8) Only in America... could they have had the two people most responsible for the US tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes. 7) Only in America... can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash. 6) Only in America... would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens. 5) Only in America... could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists." 4) Only in America... could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote. 3) Only in America... could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike). 2) Only in America... could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money. 1) Only in America... could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all. -<>- ________ _jgN########Ngg_ _N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ d###P N####p "^^" T#### d###P _g###@F _gN##@P gN###F" d###F 0###F 0###F 0###F "NN@' ___ q###r "" >How's my driving? This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds to continue shaving and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup! As a man, I don't scare easily. but she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt and I dropped My electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand! In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs! Splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the darn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call! Darn women drivers! --- ...LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Beautiful Photo Winners http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/photowinners.html Romantic Castles 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/castles2.html New York At Night!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newyork.html Beautiful Bridges 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges2.html Breathtaking Photos!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/breathtaking.html No Words Necessary!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nowords2.html God's Night Lights 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/night2.html Cano Cristales River!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cristales.html God's Most Beautiful!- http://http//www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mostbeautiful.html Best Of Nat Geo 2012!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/natgeo2012.html Extraordinary Photos!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/extraordinary.html Niagara Falls In Neon!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/niagaraneon.html -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) She sent us one we have here... Witty Comebacks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html Park your car sir? http://tinyurl.com/zh4a9n4 Dolphin Show https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/pRFq7K4vCSk?rel=0 A dog video http://biggeekdad.com/2015/09/a-wave-of-hope/ If it fits --- https://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10200387320826253 --- ...HaHa! So Cute! Thanks Geniann! Congressman Trey Gowdy (RC) (Trump's choice for Attorney General if elected President) turned the tables on the media and asked them questions about Benghazi . The silence was deafening. Best video clip I have seen in months. I hope you watch it, it's only 3 minutes. The Media should be embarrassed by Congressman Trey Gowdy's questions. This is most certainly the most embarrassing event that has occurred in the last 16 months. The burden falls on the media who have not done anything to investigate this. After viewing this 3.5 minute video, I urge you to forward it to your friends. http://tinyurl.com/nzrk2gc --- ...Thanks Geniann! Still saddens me when I think of how alone and scared our Ambassador must have felt before he was murdered by terrorists. -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) WORLD'S MOST BIZARRE COWS http://tinyurl.com/jo8ymbx Pepsi Admits That Its Aquafina Bottled Water Is Just Tap Water, Coca-Cola’s Dasani Is Next http://tinyurl.com/z86wk3u Sweden and Muslim Migrants http://tinyurl.com/zve4goa --- ...It is no wonder why they are deporting them! Thanks Melinda! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Thousand Hand Guan Yin is a dance created by Chinese choreographer Zhang Jigang. This dance was performed by 63 deaf Chinese dancers of China's Disabled People's Performing Art Troupe. Because they could not hear the music, there were 6 directors in white clothes helping them to synchronize with the music. This dance describes the legend of Bodhisattva Guan Yin , a Proto-Buddha, that has one thousand hands. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7vs-H7xLnrs When Jamie Raven walked up on stage, the judges seemed skeptical, but once he started showing them his magic tricks, they couldn't believe their eyes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0m9QtYWTIE&feature=player_embedded --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Crazy People! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUj65M4T1cg&feature=player_embedded Fast Talker Lady! https://www.youtube.com/embed/WGnEuGwvXqU?rel=0 --- ...Awesome! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A matador in Spain is under investigation after a video surfaced of him bullfighting while holding his 5-month-old baby girl in his arms. But to be fair, it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day." -Seth Meyers "Gisele Bundchen shared a picture of Tom Brady after he lost the NFL playoffs. It was a heartbreaking photograph of a handsome man being consoled by a Brazilian super- model." -Conan O'Brien "Donald Trump announced that he's not going to participate in the Fox News debate tomorrow night. The other candidates are really excited to present their views in a serious, yet respectful manner - which means they haven't been told that nobody is going to watch this one." -Jimmy Fallon "According to a new report, by 2050, the world's oceans will contain more plastic trash than fish. So the next time you get dumped, remember: There's plenty of trash in the sea." -Seth Meyers "Winter storm Jonas slammed the East Coast, some places got up to 3 feet of snow. All weekend I I did not leave the house or take a shower. I did get up early on Sunday to do some shoveling, of pancakes into my mouth." -Stephen Colbert "In Elkmont, Alabama, last weekend a dog got loose and ended up in a half marathon. The dog saw all the people and just started running with them. She did well. She finished seventh place. She would have finished higher if she hadn't stopped to sniff people's butts." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new study found that the amount of man-made heat that's absorbed by the ocean has doubled since 1997. The main source of that heat? That kid who's waist deep at the beach with that weird smile on his face." -Jimmy Fallon "A Florida man has been arrested for stealing a $1,500 dog from a pet store and trading it for crack. On the plus side, we finally have an answer to the question: How much is that doggie in the window?" -Seth Meyers "A new study from Cambridge University says that Spiderman should not be able to climb walls. According to the study, the largest animal capable of wall climbing is the gecko. And I'm not sure if Kirsten Dunst wants to kiss one of those upside down." -Stephen Colbert "Amazon has begun revealing details about its upcoming drone delivery program, such as drones adapted specifically to the climate of the city they are in. For example, the Chicago drone will be equipped to handle cold weather, the Seattle drone will be waterproof, and the Detroit drone will be on fire." -Seth Meyers "A new report claims that William Shakespeare was a marijuana user and may have been high when he wrote some of his plays. Which explains that one line: 'To be, or not to be... Wait, what was the question?'" -Jimmy Fallon "According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you're an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************