Happy Halloween Smiles ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ (( "####@@!!$$ )) `#####@@!$$` )) (( '####@!!$: (( ,####@!!$: )) .###@!!$: `##@@!$: `#@!!$ !@# `#@!$: @#$ #$ `#@!$: !@! '@!$: '`\ "!$: /`' '\ '!: /' "\ : /" -."-/\\\-."//.-"/:`\."-.JrS"."-=_\\ " -."-.\\"-."//.-".`-."_\\-.".-\".-// *~* May God Bless And Help All Those Affected By Hurricane Sandy *~* -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hottie is from our friend KarenF. This is an adorable one for all cat lovers. Check it out here... .-. .-. (_ \ / _) Aries- The Ram | | Cats Of The Zodiac http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/zodiaccats.html --- ...LOL! So cute! Thanks KarenF! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: My Best Friend _|/ ." ". __ /(o)-(o)\ A man is sitting at the bar in his /_)|| / | local tavern, furiously imbibing shots |_)|| '- | of whiskey. is best friend happens \_)|| '.___.' / |\/|_ to come into the bar and sees him. | / \ \_/ / _| '/ "Ben,"says the shocked friend, "what |--\ '.___.' \ ) / are you doing?" I've known you for \ \_/\__/\__ |==| over fifteen years, and I've never \ \ /\ /\ `\ | | seen you take a drink before. What's \ \\// \| | going on?" `\ /\ | / | jgs ; || |\____/ Without even taking his eyes off | || | his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend." He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp. "But," says the other man, "*I'm* your best friend!" The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! **HE** is!" ======================================================= +------- BIZARRE OCTOBER/NOVEMBER HOLIDAYS -------+ October 30 is National Candy Corn Day October 31 is National Magic Day and Increase Your Psychic Powers Day November 1 is Plan Your Epitaph Day November 2 is National Deviled Egg Day November 3 is Sandwich Day and Housewife's Day November 4 is Waiting For The Barbarians Day ======================================================== >-->From TheJokester: /\ !__! O _ __ /LL\ __ _ O /\__('')__/\ /L\ \'._(oo) _ /LLLL\ _ (OO)_.'/ /L\ / _ _ \ /LLL\ `. (_.'/ /LLLLLL\ \'._) .' /LLL\ \/ \/\ /\/ \/ /LLLLL_.' _.'-..' |.--.| '..-'._ `'._LLLLL\ mm |.-.'__.'____________||__||____________'. __'.-.| \_ '\/` \_ ||_||\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\||_|| ,__/ /` ,\_ /' [_____]\_\_\/\_\_\_\_\_\/\_\_\_\_\_\/\_\_\_\[_____] \\/---./ \\ /LLLLL\\_\_//\\\_\_\_\_//\\\_\_\_\_//\\_\_\_/LLLLL\ .'\\, // '. \\ /LLLLLLL\==//__\\======//oo\\======//__\\===/LLLLLLL\ / \\// \ \/LLLLLLLLL\__|__|________|__|________|__|__ /LLLLLLLLL\ : \#\ _ :[___________]_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_[___________] ' _//\ (_// '\| _ |_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_| _ | \ \ ( \ \/ / )| .'|'.[__].=============================.[__].'|'. | '. \ \) ).' / | |-OO| || | _________ | || |-+-| | `-\/#(` / /| |_|_| || | _ [_________] _ | || |_|_| | __\ ,\ / / | || | .'_'. |__ _| .'_'. | || | (OO.-----.% | _ || | | | |_ (oo)_.'/| | | | | || _ | %%|R.I.P|%%| .'|'. || | |-+-|\'._) .' | |-+-| | || .'|'. | %%%|_____|%%| |-+-| || | |_|_| '..-'._ `'._ |_|_| | || |OO-| | ~^"^~[_________]| |_|_| || | [_____] | '.__.'[_____] | || |_|_| | ''"^"^"~~^"`| || | | | | || | | /\ || lc_________|_______|__________| || | _ |_) )_ ||/ \|| _ | )) .-~^"^-__ .' """ '._||_________________________________||______)\.'""'. / /\ /\ \__]XXXXXXXXXX[_________]XXXXXXXXXX[__]~"^.'""'.__.' | /_\ |~"^~"^~"^~[_____________]~^"~_________ '.__.'~^"^ | _______ | /Keep Out/ -"~"- \ \W W W/ / _- /________/ '.\M M/.' __-- / / '~"^"~"^~'. / / _-"^~"^"- __-- _-^~"^"~^-_ >Things I Heard On Halloween That Sounded Dirty But Weren't: 10. She's a goblin! 9. I'd like to get a little something in the sack. 8. Let me see your bag . . . . OH!-You're having a great night! 7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head. 6. She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch 5. If you just lick it, it'll last longer. 4. Show me your JuJuBees and I'll let you see my Zagnuts. 3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth, 2. You scared me stiff! 1. He's got Candy spread out on the living room floor! -<>- ========================================================= ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+,____o@o____ ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, |o@OT@SO@o|+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+,| ,;;;, | ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, | ;o/o; |+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+,| \/-\/ | ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, | _`~'_ |+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+,| ' \// ` | ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, | | /o| | |+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+,oO@o@o@o@Oo ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+, ,+,(),+, ,+, oO@Oo, ,+, ,+,(),+, ,+, ,+, () () () () (())=======================(()) () () () () [] [] [] [] [][] [][] [] [] [] [] []=[]=[]=[]=/ // ´;´}~., \\ \[]=[]=[]=[] []=[]=[]=[]////) ´}}~;;;`; (\\\\]=[]=[]=[] []=[]=[]=[/ //() ~}~};- -;: ()\ \\=[]=[]=[] []=[]=[]=( ((() ~}~};} . ';; ())) )[]=[]=[] [] [] [] [\\\\() };},;}{`- ,} ()//// [] [] [] []_[]_[]_[]_\ \\_____} ~} } };~;______// /[]_[]_[]_[] _____________\\ \ }/=(((((;~} // /____________ ______________| ||___ / /| /\ \____| ||_____________ ______________//// ) / /\\//| } / \\\\_____________ _____________// / /( ( / \/ |) (____\\ \____________ ,__, (())|~( ) ) :: ( ) )~ |(()) ,__, <-><-> / //||__)( ( /;: )( (____||\ \\ <-><-> [ (/ ]// /|| ( ~) /; / ) ) ||\\ \[ \) ] \_ /////|||___) / / ( (____|||\\\\\ _/ (( (( //||| ~( / / ) / |||\\ )) )) (vvvv)/|||_____/ /(_________|||\(vvvv) )vv(/||| ~ / / ) ~ |||\)vv( |||||||__________( / )_______________||||||| |||||| ) ( |||||| |||||____________( / )___________________||||| |||| \ / |||| ||||_______________(______________________|||| |||| |||| ((()))____________________________________((())) ((())) ((())) ((((()))))________________________________((((())))) ________ |ooShy >Halloween Definitions Boogieman: The guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose. Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat. Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer. Full Moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge. Goblin: How you eat the Snickers bars you got for Halloween. Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin. Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week. Mummy: The person who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee. Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking. Skeleton: Any supermodel. Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with. Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee. -<>- , ^'^ _ ) (_) ^'^ _/\_ .---------. (( ^'^ (('> )`'`'`'`'`( || ^'^ _ /^| /`'`'`'`'`'`\|| ^'^ =>--/__|m--- /`'`'`'`'`'`'`\| ^^ ,,,,,,, /`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`\ , .-------.`|`````````````|` . ) / .^. .^. \| ,^^, ,^^, | / \ (( / |_| |_| \ |__| |__| | /,-,\|| _ /_____________\ |")| | | |/ |_| \| (") | __ __ | '==' '==' /_______\ _ (' ') | / \ / \ | _______ |,^, ,^,| (") \ \ | |--| |--| | ((--.--)) ||_| |_|| (' ') _ ^^^ _ | |__| |("| | || | || |,-, ,-,| / / ,' ', ,' ', | | || | || ||_| |_|| ^^^ .,,|RIP|,.|RIP|,.,,'==========='==''=='==''=='=======',,....,,,,.,ldb >Top Ten Reasons You Won't Win the Halloween Costume Contest 10. After your roommate insisted on being the front legs, you began to suspect that a burrito dinner wasn't such a good idea. 9. "Hey! Blue dress with a stain and a cigar! Why didn't I think of that?" 8. You can't get the zipper on your Bill Clinton costume to stay down. 7. Looks like "Viagra Man" will be spending Halloween in jail for indecent exposure. 6. Something in her eyes tells you there was an inherent flaw in your plan of dressing up as the hostess's dead husband in order to get laid. 5. The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small round bottom, not the other way around. 4. 'Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in Atlanta could only lead to getting your butt whupped, Homeboy. 3. Your "Naked Linda Tripp" costume is actually more nauseating than scary. 2. The judges wrongly interpreted your "Liposuction Byproduct" costume as a "Bowl of Tapioca Pudding" costume. 1. *Nobody* likes a farting clown. ============================================================== >-->From GoodCleanFun: (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro >Babysitting I was not thrilled with the idea of letting my clueless 13-year-old son babysit his younger brothers, even though he begged me to. "What about a fire?" I asked, referring to my No. 1 concern. "Mom," he said, rolling his eyes, "I'm a Boy Scout. I know how to start a fire." -<>- Here is what not to do my son .--. , , ) .-----._ ___ < /) | | ||==|| _(())\) | | /|==|| __ .-' (()/ '-. :_____:/ |"_|/) /| _/ () \ / .-------. __.' / | oo)__/ () \ | / '=======' () / | :~ \_ ) _/ _/ /__________________/ | | |- (--|(,/ | [___o___] | | / ) \ | / [___o___] / | | ( \ | / [___o___] / | | ( | / | / | / . | |/ __ |/ | | : | <`,,'>,--,--..-, snd | |__/_____\ | / ( ( ) ) \ .,,. oo=' oo=' '-'\ ) ) ) )\ ___.---; < (,_)_)(_,)_/ / \ .-\_/_,__ ||| ||| _ _\_\_ \\ __\-' ~~ ~~ ( ) ( ) _/ '-' /_/-/_/-' >40th Birthday On her 40th birthday a wife waltzed out of the bedroom dressed in an old outfit that she dug out of the back of the closet. "I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old," she said to her husband, hoping he'd take the hint and buy her some new clothes as a present. "Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old." (He is expected to be discharged from the hospital next week but he will always walk with a limp). -<>- >Overstaffed A young man was applying for a job in a big company. "I'm sorry," said the personnel manager, "but the firm is overstaffed; we have more employees now than we really need." "That's all right," replied the young man, undiscouraged, "the little bit of work I do won't be noticed anyway." -<>- ^ ,' \ L""/ ` | J | J L | | . , | |.`v_L.' // ,>-(-\'_ \`' \ - /-. / /`""| ),' `- ( ,-' \ ) ,' ,' h / / / `)--.. \/ / \ <) < , L<' F/ _/ ,' L ,-' \ | ___L / ( F J ___,' L | ,' | F ,' | (_,--..__ mt-2|_ ,' `"`--.._\ ,' / \ / (_ (diddled by b'ger} >Signs You Might Be From New York City (Translated) Recently I posted the list of "Signs You Might Be From New York City". I asked the "Empire State" folks to help me out and provide some insight into some of the terms and other things particular to NYC. What follows was culled from the comments of the 2 readers who responded (Thank you both. You speak for the whole of NYC!). Each of the original statements is immediately followed by any needed translation and comments by my NYC friends. ========================================================== 1. You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license. --------------------------------------------------- Yep, more or less, did not learn until age 27. --------------------------------------------------- A lifelong New Yorker, I'm a bit more than 35 years old, and yes, I don't have a driver's license. ================================================== 2. You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available. --------------------------------------------------- I no longer ride subway trains; I bus everywhere, but when I did take the train, I'd do without air conditioning to get a seat. --------------------------------------------------- Depends on what you needed more: a seat or a blast of coolish air-- sometimes one wins over the other. ================================================== 3. You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway. ----------------------------------------------- Of course I knew exactly where on the platform the doors opened that would leave me right in front of the exit stairway. ------------------------------------------------ Always, since a young age! =============================================== 4. You know what a "regular" coffee is. ------------------------------------------------ Yes, but no one outside of NYC seems to understand this. ------------------------------------------------ (Tom's note: I did a bit of research and the best I can find as a definition of "coffee regulah" is unflavored, caffeinated coffee with lots of cream and sugar. This is compounded by using size to define how much cream and sugar (small regular is 2 creams and 2 sugars, medium regular is 3 creams and 3 sugars, large regular is 4 creams and 4 sugars ... also dark is 1 less cream based on the size and light is 1 more cream based on size). I suspect this might not be "universal" in all of NYC. Personally, I learned to drink coffee black, just like it comes out of the pot). =============================================== 5. It's not Manhattan...... It's the "city". ------------------------------------------------ Yes, most frustrating. I would assign my Brooklyn students to visit a museum in the "city" and they would all moan like I was sending them to Venice! =============================================== 6. There is no north and south. It's "uptown" or "downtown." If you're really from New York you have absolutely no concept of where north and south are. And east or west is "crosstown." ------------------------------------------------ Actually, I was always pretty good at compass points, phases of the moon, other "natural" things, maybe cause I was born in the wilds of Queens and lived mostly in the outback in Brooklyn? =============================================== 7. You cross the street anywhere but on the corners and you yell at cars for not respecting your right to do it. ------------------------------------------------ Don't you realize that it's so much safer to cross the street in the middle of the block? ------------------------------------------------ Nope, I learned early on you take your life in your life in your hands whenever you cross a street, so your insurance settlement will be higher if you do it legally, at corners--really. My father taught me to get hit by a Yellow cab, if I had a choice, as their insurance was better... And I always yelled at cars when they were wrong-- Dustin Hoffman had it right in "Midnight Cowboy"--bang on their hoods and yell "Yo, I'm walking here!" =============================================== 8. You move 3,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open your mouth. ------------------------------------------------ True. When I started college in the ancient times --1969--we had to take a speech course that was designed to cure us of this malady. Don't think it worked for many, but I can fake "non-Brooklyn" occasionally. =============================================== 9. You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real" pizza and a "real" bagel. You know the differences between all the varieties Ray's pizzas. And you wouldn't bother ordering pizza in any other city. ------------------------------------------------ Yes! (Mostly) ------------------------------------------------ It just happens that I had pizza for lunch yesterday. It wasn't Ray's Pizza, but it was real enough. Today, it was a different food group: Chinese take-out. =============================================== 10. You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the major food groups which are: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian. ------------------------------------------------ (Tom's note: see #9 above) =============================================== 11. A 500 square foot apartment is large. ------------------------------------------------ My apartment is 200 square feet, and believe me, it ain't easy. ------------------------------------------------ True. I now live in a 2700 sq.ft. house on 11 acres in Maine that we bought from the sale of a "large" 900 sq.ft. apartment in Brooklyn. =============================================== 12. You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. Announcement on the subway. ------------------------------------------------ No, I am not under the mistaken impression... and hated that side of my city--it did not take that much effort to be clear as a subway conductor--it was a major part of their job, after all. Now it is prerecorded, voice by a woman who lives near me! =============================================== 13. You're not the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve. ------------------------------------------------ I've been to Times Square on New Year's Eve. I didn't know any better - I was 18 years old. ------------------------------------------------ Never did go, in 55 years, nor to Empire State building. Got to the Statue of Liberty as a kid of 12 by accident--went to meet an uncle who worked on the Staten Island ferry, who had to do a double-shift, and he gave me the money to go over there, up into the crown. =============================================== 14. Your internal clock is permanently set to know when alternate side of the street parking regulations are in effect. ------------------------------------------------ It was only important once I got a car--age 35 or so?--and yes, my "clock" was set to the sound of the street sweepers. =============================================== 15. Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet. ------------------------------------------------ Wouldn't you? ------------------------------------------------ And, you need to! =============================================== 16. You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car. ------------------------------------------------ That had to be in the ice age. ------------------------------------------------ I never "paid for it"--as a matter of pride as a Brooklynite. But then, almost never took a vehicle into Manhattan either. =============================================== 17. A presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor. ------------------------------------------------ Sad, but true. ------------------------------------------------ TRUE! =============================================== 18. You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop. ------------------------------------------------ Absolutely! ------------------------------------------------ With a bit of practice, you can learn how to nap on the subway and never miss your stop. =============================================== 19. The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it's a beer. ------------------------------------------------ That's a beer, a straw, and then all you need is a glass filled with ice cubes. ------------------------------------------------ And a small paper bag, so you can walk around with the beer in summer, and not get a ticket for carrying an open alcoholic beverage...smarter folks get it in cans, so it is even less noticeable. ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Linda :) , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >ACTS 2:38- Concealed Carry I love compassionate Christian Seniors.. A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!' (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: 'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.' 'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38's!' Send this to someone who needs a laugh today and remember. Knowing scripture can save your life - in more ways than one! In God We Trust --- ...HaHa! Good One! Thanks Linda! -<>- ________ / ______ \ || _ _ || ||| || ||| |||_||_||| || _ _o|| (o) ||| || ||| |||_||_||| ^~^ , ||______|| ('Y') ) /__________\ / \/ ________|__________|__ (\|||/) _________ hjw /____________\ `97 |____________| >Keep Your Doors LOCKED! Hello everyone, You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts. Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next? When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and Me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted,' look again - was it lifted from you? THIS IS NOT A HOAX - This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS! P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband. I thought this was too 'important' not to pass on. Have a wonderful day --- always remember to laugh!! Helps thee heart AND the wrinkles!! P.P.S. Those same thieves just came into my closet and shrank my clothes! How do they do that???? --- ...LMAO! Too Rich! Thanks Linda! =========================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >-->From Patriot: SEALs Expose Obama http://tinyurl.com/8nm55th -<>- >From Conservative Videos: The Hypocracy of Michelle Obama's Vacations http://tinyurl.com/9hwfmdy -<>- >From PatriatUpdate: Obama to Delay Election because of Storm? http://tinyurl.com/94zqelh -<>- >From Our Friend JoeL :) What Each Of Us Must Do Before Election Day http://tinyurl.com/94jylf8 Retired Military Heroes Call Out Barack Obama http://tinyurl.com/9dleyb8 Women are waging a WAR on Obama in the polls http://tinyurl.com/9b63nm3 CHRISTIAN MOVIE: OFFICIAL TRAILER - 300 MILLION SLAVES - YouTube http://tinyurl.com/99vlquf --- ...Most interesting! Thanks JoeL! -<>- >From BizarreNews: [in 2009] Can you say bureaucratic bullshit? How is this for bizarre; The state of Washington is sending out hundreds of thousands of $1 checks to the state's neediest residents. It's a plan that is supposed to bring millions of dollars worth of food stamps to the state by March. Leo Ribas, head of community services at the Department of Social and Health Services, says there's a method to the state's madness. "We're trying to do this at a time when people need assistance the most," said Ribas. He says if the state's food stamp recipients receive just $1 for energy bill assistance, that qualifies them for extra federal assistance. In other words, sending out $1 checks at a cost of $250,000 to the state could bring the state and additional $43 million in federal funding. Got all that? This is a perfect example of huge amounts of money falling through bureaucratic cracks. At this point it is not even corruption any more. When a bureaucracy gets big enough money just starts disappearing. Imagine what it is like on the federal level! And people wonder how, while they pay 33 percent or more in taxes, the federal government can still be $7 [now 16] trillion in debt. -- Police: Man who shot TV mad about digital --------- ST. LOUIS - Police said a 70-year-old Missouri man was so upset by the switch to digital television broadcasting that he opened fire on his TV set. Walter Hoover, 70, was arrested and charged with unlawful use of a firearm after his frustration over losing his cable and his inability to make his digital converter box function properly allegedly led him to his act of violence against electronics, KSDK-TV, St. Louis, reported Monday. Investigators sad Hoover's wife told officers that he had been drinking alcohol prior to the gunfire. -- 13-year-old hijacks, smashes Beijing bus --------- BEIJING - A 13-year-old boy stole a city bus in Beijing, smashed it into a dozen vehicles and knocked down two utility poles before the escapade ended, police say. "It was like watching a blockbuster movie when I saw the bus crashing into cars like a bulldozer," a man identified only by the surname Liu told Xinhua as he described the Sunday morning excitement. The state-run news agency reported Monday the bus's driver had gotten out to use a toilet when the slender, 5-foot-5 youth got into the driver's seat, apparently started the bus without a key and drove off. The teen zigzagged through traffic, hitting a car and a minibus before putting the bus in reverse and hitting 10 more vehicles and the two power poles. One car was pushed through the front door of a clinic. Liu was having breakfast at his shoe-repair stand nearby when he saw the bus coming at him like a "dancing dragon." "I threw my canteen and ran for my life," he said. No one was injured but the boy reportedly was trembling and quiet when finally grabbed by three people who kicked in the bus's door. -- Jail for woman after speeding lies ------------ BIRMINGHAM, England - Authorities in Birmingham, England, said a woman was sentenced to two months in jail after she attempted to avoid a speeding ticket by lying to police. Investigators said Sema Ali, 43, initially told police that she had been speeding -- an offense which carries an $87 fine -- because four men had attempted to run her Renault Megane off the road, The Times of London reported Monday. Police said Ali then convinced her husband, Mohammed Nawaz, to lie and tell police that someone else was behind the wheel when the speed camera photographed the vehicle in April 2007. Ali and Nawaz both pleaded guilty to perverting the course of justice. They were both sentenced to two months in jail, while Ali was also fined $87 for the traffic offense and received three points on her license. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) _._ .' '. | / //\\\ \ | ( ( -\- ) ) | '-\_=_/-' // .-'\ /'-. (|/ / '-' \ / / | \__ __/_/\/ /| | |\ / \ / \ \ \ '-' `\/\ ; |/|\ | | | | | | | |_______| | | | \ | / jgs /=|=\ (_/T\_) >Who is a teacher? EXCELLENT From A School Principal's speech at a graduation.. He said "Doctor wants his child to become a doctor......... Engineer wants his child to become engineer...... Businessman wants his ward to become CEO..... BUT a teacher also wants his child to become one of them..!!!! Nobody wants to become a teacher BY CHOICE" ....Very sad but that's the truth.....!!! The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?" Teacher Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...) "Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 min. without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental. You want to know what I make? (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table) I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them how to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator. I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their unique cultural identity. I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life ( Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.) Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. You want to know what I make? I MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ALL YOUR LIVES, EDUCATING KIDS AND PREPARING THEM TO BECOME CEO's, AND DOCTORS AND ENGINEERS.......... What do you make Mr. CEO? His jaw dropped; he went silent. THIS IS WORTH SENDING TO EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW. Even all personal teachers like mother, father, brother, sister, coach and spiritual leader/teacher --- ...Thanks Linda! True - it isn't always about the money - if all you see is the money in your job, then you will have very little personal satisfaction. Our reward is in heaven - for things we do that have no price tag because no one could pay you enough to make them or their child a model citizen or bring you to the cross of Christ for life eternal into the divine family with God Almighty and Jesus Christ the Lord! There just is no monetary value high enough for such things! However, not every teacher is worth his or her weight in gold just as not every minister or preacher is actually God's servant. We have good and bad in every field. ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) . L\ .-""-. |\_ / (--> \ \ \'--.)_>_=/_( \ )`-._/|_,( _. |_\ (_ ( \ /.- .' `\ ) \_/\ \.'/ _.','\ _/\ ( '._/ /_/` \ / jgs '-..-'] >Humor for the week MONDAY The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms. Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, 'Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!' TUESDAY A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!' The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.' The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!' The preacher said, 'No s##t?' WEDNESDAY Lorrie and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small manhood. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.' The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. 'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?' 'Just take two,' Lorrie replied. 'The rest are for your father.' THURSDAY One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman.. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense. 'Your Honor,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could mess around, he could fly too.' FRIDAY A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.' SATURDAY Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde- haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies. 'What, did you tell her you were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.' SUNDAY Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland .. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained, 'Are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?' A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!' --- ...LOL! Thanks Johanna! ========================================================= _____ _._ | | .' '. | N O | / //\\\ \ |_____| ( ( -\- ) ) | '-\_=_/-' /) .-'\ /'-. (|/ / '-' \ / / | \__ __/_/\/ /| | |\ / \ / \ \ \ '-' `\/\ ; |/|\ | | | | | | | |_______| | | | \ | / jgs /=|=\ (_/T\_) +----------------- Bizarre Test Answers ------------------+ The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 Decibels Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her, but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come onto in pears. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper. Q: Give the meaning of the term "caesarian section." A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels, and you get intercontinental. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery." ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ,,,,, /((())\ \(((()/ (| _ _ | /( - ) (((\_~_/ ))).' '.__ /`\ ___ /`\ | /` `\ | | \___,___/ | | |\ /| | | | ) ( | | / /` `\\ \ / /| | \ \ /.(\;`-._.-`; /)|\ _(\\))| | | /// / \ | ; | | | / '._______.' | / ) | ( / | \ jgs | | | \ | / / Y \ (_/ \_) "Son, I just know you'll do the right thing by this little girl," said the preacher. "You just marry her, and you'll be at the end of your troubles." So he did the right thing, and he married the girl, and about six months later when he saw the preacher again he tried to murder him. "You miserable liar!" shouted the young man. "You told me if I married her, I would be at the end of my troubles. Well, I married her, and she has made my life miserable." "That may be true, son, but you can't blame me," replied the minister. "I said you'd be at the end of your troubles, but I never said which end." -<>- @@@ // \\ / \_/ \ / ./_(-.\ ( / \\ )|| @/ // ) / @>@<@/ ( '-.;)@\ \.-' | | | | | | | `'. | `'-. / '-.. | . .. '-.__ jgs |.' .' .'.'__;.--'--.-' `"-----'"` At a wedding ceremony that I was performing, I raised my hand to give the final blessing. The bride misunderstood my gesture and surprised me with a high-five. Not wanting to exclude the groom, I offered him a high-five, too. I was finally able to get my blessing in, amid the laughter of the guests. -<>- _ _ / ) ( | ____|__ ./ \. ./) (\. (_______________) (((((((((( )))) )))) ^ ^ (((( (((( )))) )))) c b(((( ((((\ ___, /))))) ))))\_`-' _/((((( jgs (((((( `--' )))))) )))))) (((((( While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key." -<>- .{{}}}}}}. {{{{{}}}}}}}. {{{{ {{{{{}}}} }}}}} _ _ {{{{{ }}}} @ @ }}}} {{{{C ^ {{{{ }}}}}}\ 0 /}}}}} {{{{{{{;.___.;}}}}}} {{{{{{) (}}}}}}' jgs `""'"': :'"'"'` `@` A few years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house, which was situated on a busy thoroughfare. Our real estate agent decided to have open-house inspection nearly every day to promote the sale. We instructed the children not to talk to anyone about the house. One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and asked if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first reaction was to smile and ignore his question. But he became more persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one secret but she could not tell it to him. "Now we're getting somewhere," he said. "Tell me the secret. I promise I won't tell anyone." She looked him straight in the eye and whispered, "We have monsters in our sewer." -<>- .===. / _/\ \ \/e.e\/ _ ( _ ) / \ _)---(_ \ | / `~` \ /`/ /\/ \/\ / / /| |\_/ \ \\_____/ \ \, L | \_| | | | _|_ | | | | jgs |__|__| (___|___) Each day when I would come home from work I would drop to my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he wanted to box. I wanted him to learn how to protect himself. We would spar around for a few minutes before supper. One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes. The shoe salesman was friendly and allowed my son to try on several pairs of shoes before we decided on a particular pair that he liked. We asked if he wanted to wear them home and he replied, "yes". The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of our son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked, "do you want a box?" Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose. After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several minutes explaining why this happened. Luckilly, our salesman was also the father of a 4-year-old. -<>- The Dean of admissions at Bates College in Maine reads through reams of applications from nervous high school seniors, some maybe a little more nervous than others. Here are a few... "If there is a single word to describe me, that word would be 'profectionist'." "I was abducted into the National Honor Society." "I function well as an individual and a group." "Mathematics has hung like a stork around my neck." -<>- I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead. "Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband. "What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?" -<>- _(\_/) ,((((^`\ (((( (6 \ ,((((( , \ ,,,_ ,((((( /"._ ,`, ((((\\ ,... ,(((( / `-.-' ))) ;' `"'"'""(((( ( ((( / ((( \ )) | | (( | . ' | )) \ _ ' `t ,.') ( | y;- -,-""'"-.\ \/ ) / ./ ) / `\ \ |./ ( ( / /' || \\ //'| jgs || \\ _//'|| || )) |_/ || \_\ |_/ || `'" \_\ `'" >Things You'll Never Hear In A Western Movie: "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!" "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution." "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room." "Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!" "Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you 'n' me... what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?" "Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches." "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue." "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!" "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration." "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?" "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge." "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left... .Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!" ============================================================ >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Fear: Fealing Kind Of Buggy http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/fearfeelingkindofbuggy.html Haunting http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/haunting.html The Sons Of God Of Genesis 6 http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/sonsofgenesis6.html Slain In The Spirit http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/slaininthespirit.html Emergency Numbers http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/help.html Akiane Child Prodigy! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html Chapel With Bone Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chapel.html Extreme Pumpkin Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin.html Texas Outhouse Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/outhouse.html Darvaza - Door To Hell! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/darvaza.htm Halloween Cakes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hcakes2.html Maxine On Halloween http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonhalloween.html Tricks For Treats 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats4.html World's Largest Web http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/web.html -<>- >From TheMouth: Halloween Cat Bowling This Halloween wouldn't be complete without some good old fashioned cat bowling. Grab a pumpkin and see how many of those cats you can knock over. I got me an 83! http://members.shaw.ca/faithshannon/cats-bowling.htm THE 100 SCARIEST MOVIE SCENES OF ALL TIME - VERSION 2.0 You think you know scary? Look at this very comprehensive list for some the most traumatizing horror movie scenes of all time. http://retrocrush.buzznet.com/scary/ Halloween Ghost Stories http://www.halloweenghoststories.com/ -<>- >From FunZug: Cute Baby in Tub http://tinyurl.com/9z4gkph -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us ones we have here... The REAL Bambi And Thumper http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bambi.html --- ...Aww, such a cute reminder! Thanks Linda! Fishing In Florida http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fishing.html --- ...Yeppers! Great fishing story! Thanks Linda! Here is another one... True Fish Tale http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fishrescue.html UFO DISCLOSURE This will Scare You!!! (Compilation of UFO Sightings) HD720p http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRoC645tUPY&feature=related --- ...Wow! Most interesting! Thanks Linda! ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: Everyone excited about Halloween? Every year, they try to contact Houdini on Halloween. And I thought, 'Wait a minute — isn't that one of the good things about being dead, not having to take calls?'" -Dave Letterman "Death has come to your little town, Sheriff. Now you can either ignore it, or you can help me to stop it." - Donald Pleasence as Dr. Sam Loomis in "Halloween" "Heeere's Johnny!" - Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in "Thhe Shining" "We all go a little mad sometimes." - Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates in "Pssycho" "She thinks that tactics are a new kind of breath mint." --Billy Connolly "Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry." --Bill Cosby "It's fall - harvest festival time! I've only grown one plant in my life, and I'd rather not talk about it... for legal reasons." -Craig Ferguson "My son has a new nickname for me, 'Baldy.' I've got a new word for him... 'heredity.'" --Dan Savage "They do a lot of animal testing in the cosmetics industry, maybe they should brag about it in their commercials. 'Aquanet hair spray, if it can blind a spider monkey, it can make your hair look luscious!'" --Vernon Chapman "Radiohead has a new album out. Radiohead is my favorite band. They're named after an appliance and a body part. They're much better than Toasterfoot." -Craig Ferguson "I think the most memorable experience I had in France was visiting the cathedral at Chartres. It's a 400-year-old cathedral. Beautiful stained glass, and it's a very, very moving experience, and as I was writing my name on it with a can of spray paint..." --Steve Martin "I'm getting older and I'm thinking about having my eggs frozen. Well, just the egg whites. I'm trying to cut back on my cholesterol." --Brenda Pontiff Without God there is no virtue because there is no prompting of the conscience ... without God there is a coarsening of the society; without God democracy will not and cannot long endure... America needs God more than God needs America. If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a Nation gone under." -- President Ronald Reagan, 1984 >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************