Happy Hug A GI Day... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ _ *"_"* __ /`_`\ __ .' '. | / \ | .' '. , / ')\^_^/(' \ , \`--' . (_.> <._) . '--`/ '.__.' '._/ \_/ \_.' '.__.' / , _ , \ \ \_/|\_/ / \ //^\\ / \/` `\/ | | | | | | | | .. ..:::.| | ..::::. .. ..::::..::::... .::::::::| |:::::::::::::::. ::::::::::::::::::.:::::::::::| |:::::::::::::::::. ':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::| |::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::| |::::::::::::::::::' '':::' '::::::::::::::::\_.__./:::::::::::::::'' '':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::' jgs '::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::'' '':::::'' '''::::::'' *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This roaring hot new page is from our friends LouiseAu and Cloie. Many of us know Will Rogers as an old western cowboy actor, but if you are like me, you will be surprised to learn that unlike Elizabeth Warren, he actually had Cherokee blood and tribal heritage as his mom was a Cherokee and he grew up around them. He never bragged about this though, but used his upbringing as an insight to his beloved wit and humor. Be sure to check out this fun page here... ,'-', :-----: (''' , - , ''') \ ' . , ` / \ ' ^ ? / \ ` - ,' `j_ _,' ,- -`\ \ /f ,- \_\/_/'- , `, , , /\ \ | / \ ', , f : :`, , <...\ , : ,- ' \,,,,\ ; : j ' \ \ :/^^^^' \ \ ; ''': \ -, -`.../ ' - -,`,--` \_._'-- '---: Storm Will Rogers Quotes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/willrogers.html --- ...Very insightful and funny! Thanks Ladies! -<>- /|_\|/_/| , ,--,-. . / ( O O ) \ | (___)' | |. , | / '-'\__,' | //|. \\\ \ ||| , `-'|\\ ||| ' ||| c D ' , c D UU ' '-' ' UU \ __ / __|| ||__ (___/ \___) [lf] *~* Another Super Duper Caring And Sharing Month Last Month! >Please Be Sure To Visit And Share These With Your Friends: Go Green Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greenart.html Humorous Graphs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/graphs.html Dog Thoughts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogthoughts.html Amazing Trivia Facts US! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafactsus.html Most Spectacular Places 8! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces8.html Have A Heart! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/heart.html Thoughts Into Action 11! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action11.html Extreme 3D Floors! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/3dfloors2.html Living With Bears! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bears2.html Back In Time 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/backintime2.html _. ,-.,-"`""-./ \ / \ `-.| .:::.:::. \ / `-._ ::::::::: | "=\ ':::::' | .==" |o_|_ ':' | _o. ` (_) ,;;;,;;;, ; \\ ;;;;;;;;; \ _. /|-. ';;;;;' \ ` `'---'/ \ ';' \ .--._ /-' | ,-`. / `-._( / `-._`-._\ `\ '\ ( ` `'._ _, | \ / ~-. `| | | / `;-.| | | .' \ /| | / .'-. '. | \ | .' `-._ '. | /"` `\ jgs / `"--.,_'-._\-.___.'_ ; / `""";--' `. | / .'` \ /""-. ; / \""-, \ | / | \ | \ | '. |/ '. \ .'`-. / '._ '.,___,.;' '-.___.' `"""----------'` * Most Abundant Thanks And God's Blessings To All Our Contributors! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: ___ __..--'' \ ___..--'' \ ___..--'' \ __..--'' \ \ __..--\ \ __..--'' __..--\-._ \ __..--'' __..--'' '-._ \ __..--'' __..--'' \ _..--\__..--'' __..--'' | / \__..--'' __..__ .' | __..--'' ''--..__.' \ __..--'' .:` `:. \ \ _..--'' .:` `:. | `. _.-' `:. \ `-.___.-' .-=-. | / .-=. / .--.\ .-=-. / / / /.-. \ | /####\| / .--.\ | | | | | \ \ \####// | /####\| / \/ / \ | `-.__.` \ \####// |/ / \ \ `--._...--. \| / `. \ \| / | \| | \ `-._ / `. `-.._ / `. _.:` `. __..--'' \ / | | LGB Father: Why don't you get yourself a job? Son: Why? Father: So you could earn some money. Son: Why? Father: So you could put some money in a bank and earn interest. Son: Why? Father: So that when you're old you can use the money in your bank account ...and you would never have to work again. Son: But I'm not working now. -<>- Blonde goes into the furnishing store. Blonde to the salesman: "Have you got pink curtains?" Salesman: "Yes mam what size?" Blonde: "17 inches long please." Salesman: "17 inches long. What room are they for?" Blonde: "They're for my PC monitor." Salesman: "Monitors don't have curtains?" Blonde: "Hello-o-o, I've got Windows!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ March 4 is Holy Experiment Day and Hug a GI Day March 5 is Mardi Gras / Fat Tuesday and Multiple Personality Day March 6 is Ash Wednesday, Dentist's Day and National Frozen Food Day March 7 is National Crown Roast of Pork Day March 8 is Be Nasty Day and International (Working) Women's Day March 9 is Panic Day March 10 is Daylight Savings begins at 2:a.m., International Find a Pay Phone Booth Day and Middle Name Pride Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _..--""-. .-""--.._ _.-' \ __...----...__ / '-._ .' .:::...,' ',...:::. '. ( .'``'''::; ;::'''``'. ) \ '-) (-' / \ / \ / \ .'.-. .-.'. / \ | \0| |0/ | / | \ | .-==-. | / | \ `/`; ;`\` / '.._ (_ | .-==-. | _) _..' `"`"-`/ `/' '\` \`-"`"` / /`; .==. ;`\ \ .---./_/ \ .==. / \ \ / '. `-.__) | `" | =(`-. '==. ; jgs \ '. `-. / \_:_) `"--.....-' >Environmentalist? My friend Julie and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Julie made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory." -<>- >Office Etiquette I was briefing my department on a less-than-thrilling subject: office etiquette. I suppose I was overly enthusiastic, because when I checked my watch, I was amazed at how late it was. Not so my audience: One man said, "Sir, if your watch has stopped, there's a calendar behind you." -<>- >Safety at Work Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise. "Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed limit is in our parking lot?" The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you mean coming to work or leaving?" -<>- >Nursing Career I didn't realize how much my nursing career had affected my family until the day my three-year-old granddaughter said to me, "Gramma, I think my blood sugar is low. Can I have a cookie?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) / _ `_--/-/_ _ ~\/ / | . _ . |--\ _| # ( # ) / \ _ # / -_ _-~ -'--`-_ / . | | |~| |-----,,) -------- |_|_| _~__~__\ W< >SMILES Father: “Son, you were adopted.” Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!” Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.” ---------- A man with two badly burned ears went to the emergency room for medical treatment. "What happened" asked the doctor. "Well, my wife was ironing while I was watching the ballgame on TV," began the man. "She put the hot iron near the telephone and when the phone rang, I answered the iron." The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?" "Well, no sooner had I hung up," said the man, "when the same guy called again." ---------- Morris needs a lawyer, so he grabs the yellow pages and picks out a law firm ---Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz & Schwartz. He calls up and says, "Is Mr. Schwartz in?" The man says, "No, he's out playing golf." Morris says, "All right, then let me speak to Mr. Schwartz." "He's not with the firm any more, he's retired." "Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz." "He's away in Boston, won't be back for a month." "Okay, then let me talk to the other Mr. Schwartz." He says, "Speaking!" ---------- A county traffic policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter at Columbia." The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again." ---------- @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@,""""""@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@"- "@@@@@@@@@@ "@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@( ^^^ )@@@@@@@@@ ' @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@( ( 0@@@@@@@@@, (@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@) ) _/@@@@@@@@@@@m "@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@(__/ (@@@@@@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@" )@@@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@' \@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@' )@@@@@@' A @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ ,@@@@@@@" /@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@, @_____" =, @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@ :',@@@@ `@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@' @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ M@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@' `@@@@@@@@@@@@@" ,@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@" / @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@" @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@@@" / @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@@" ," .@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@' .@@ `@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| @@@@@@@@m `@@@, @@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@| :@@@@@@@@@m )@@. )@@@@@@@@ unknown An older couple regularly attended church. The pastor was much impressed by how harmonious and how in love they seemed. They always held hands all through the service. One day after church, the pastor couldn't resist going up to them to express his admiration. He said, "I find it so inspirational to see how deeply in love you are, even, after all these years, holding hands like that." The wife looked up sharply and said, "It's not love, Pastor, I'm just keeping him from cracking his knuckles." ---------- A man decided to try skydiving. The instructor was telling the class that the main chute should be deployed at 500 feet. If that didn't work be sure to open the backup chute by 400 feet. One student asked "How long do you have if neither chute works before you land?" The instructor replied, "The rest of your life." ---------- It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars please return to class." ---------- ' . ' . . . : . . '. ______ .' ' _.-"` `"-._ ' .' '. `'--. / \ .--'` / \ ; ; - -- | | -- - | _. | ; /__`A ,_ ; .-' \ |= |;._.}{__ / '-. _.-""-|.' # '. ` `.-"{}<._ / 1938 \ \ x `" ----/ \_.-'|--X---- -=_ | | |- X. =_ - __ |_________|_.-'|_X-X## jgs `'-._|_|;:;_.-'` '::. `"- .:;. .:. ::. '::. The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked. "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied. "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed. "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it." ---------- My 12-year-old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project." I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was. A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was ... "The oldest thing in my house." ---------- On a hot summer day, a farmer and his dog were riding in a wagon pulled by two horses. After riding several miles, one of the horses said, "Whew, sure is hot today." The farmer, obviously surprised, said aloud, "Wow, I didn't know that horse could talk!" The dog replied, "Neither did I." --- ...HaHa! Great Ones! Thank You LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: .-. ,-( o )-. ( o )-( o ) .-\-'.|,`-/-. .-. ( o )--*--( o ) ,-( o )-. `-/-.'|`,-\-' ( o )-( o ) ( o )-( o ) .-\-'.|,`-/-. `-( o )-' _( o )--*--( o ) `-' \/_/ `-/-.'|`,-\-' __ | ( o )-( o ) \_\| .'`-( o )-' | .'\ `-' |/ |\ __ | \| \_\| | __ |/_/ Finally...March is here, and spring is right around the corner! Hip Hip Hooray! Who is up for doing a good deed? I love sharing these website with you to help out others. Let's keep our troops comfortable. Do you have baby powder or foot powder to spare? If so, please send to Packages From Home (PackagesFromHome.org) They'll include it in care packages they ship to troops, who use it to keep their feet dry and comfortable on long missions. Mail to: Packages From Home 5643 N. 52nd Ave. Glendale, Arizona 85301 -<>- Winter brings dry air to the home which makes it easier for dust to go airborne. What's the simple fix you ask? Keep your home's humidity level at about 50% (most humidifiers allow you to set a specific humidity percentage). Not only will it make your home feel more comfortable, it will also help weight down dust particles so they can't spread all over your home. Just make sure not to go over 60% humidity because too much moisture creates the ideal environment for icky dust mites. -<>- >Kick off dirt at the door Just by clicking your heels. We track dirt on our shoes all throughout the day, which makes up about 60% of the dust in our home! Just by tapping your shoes together three times on your doormat before you enter is shown to shake off 40% of the dirt collected. That's a huge chunk! -<>- >Keep your blinds clean with a citrus 'shield' Blinds and baseboards attract dust because the air circulates more easily around them, thanks to drafts and heating. Wipe them down with a cloth dampened with a solution made of one part lemon juice to two parts warm water. The acid in the lemons form a barrier that prevents dust from settling and also blocks static electricity, so dust will be repelled in the first place. -<>- >Wipe your bedside table each morning Keep wipes near your bedside table, and give your bedside table a quick wipe when picking up your phone in the morning. That's one less chore to tackle on the weekend. -<>- >Save Excess Bacon Fat It's almost un-American to throw away bacon fat. Store the useful (if admittedly unhealthy) stuff in an airtight aluminum or stainless steel container in the freezer, and use it to make corn bread or fry eggs or potatoes. You can also use bacon fat instead of oil in a spinach salad: Combine two parts bacon fat to three parts balsamic vinegar. Add one part vegetable oil to the mix if you like a less pungent dressing. --- ...Excellent to use to pop popcorn too! -<>- spring is in the air... \ boooooh! \ / _/\_/\ __(\___/)___ (, (o\\/ \_/_ _ (__/ /` _ /\ ), (o \ /~ _//\ \___ /_ / \___ \_('|| ~ || \ \__,-' ~ || \ ||____||/ \ ||____||/ \ | === | \_\ | === | \_\ _| . |_/ ) _/| . |_/ ) _____ / | | / /\_____/ /| | / /\_______ | (_(| - (_(/ \_\| - \_\/ | | | | | | | | | ' | | ' | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |__'____| |__'____| | | || || || || | |b'ger____/ /\/ /\___________/ /\/ /\_________| (_(_(_(_/ /_/_/_/_/ >'Go Green' Hints: Plant some trees Ecological sustainability is very important when it comes to eco-friendly living. Without a stable ecosystem, things start to fall apart. Making sure that we're planting more native trees to replace those that have been felled to make room for developments is something that more people and businesses need to do to protect the environment and improve air quality. --- Growing your own veg isn't just a good way to save money, it's also a great way to cut down your carbon footprint and be eco-friendly. Don't have any outside space? Windowsill boxes are a great way to brighten up your view, filter the air coming into your home and offer plenty of space for herbs and small vegetable patches. ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Speech: Donald Trump Delivers a Speech at the 2019 CPAC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I9J9IaZC7o CPAC 2019 - A Conversation w/Rep. Devin Nunes and Tom Fitton, Judicial Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaB_FNoC6RM Glenn Beck At CPAC 2019 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXl1j6215BY TED CRUZ: "The Left Has Lost It. They Are The Destroy President Trump Party" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGO7HVckD0A Michelle Malkin speaks at CPAC 2019: full speech https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPeNkqa0_DE CPAC 2019 - Candace Owens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oExoBW7eKk CPAC 2019 - Diamond and Silk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BsT4IiLpoE CPAC 2019 - Brandon Tatum https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6yaI40lnh4 CPAC 2019 - A Conversation on Criminal Justice Reform w/ Van Jones & Matt Schlapp https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOK-lFPWkh8 CPAC 2019 - Disarming the Left's Hypocrisy: The Fatal Disadvantage of Gun Control https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOXWTo6WiTo The Ingraham Angle 3/1/19 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq51exA-AdU Justice With Judge Jeanine 3/2/19 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73hsJUITRZg U.S. Energy Secretary Rick Perry blasted proponents of the Green New Deal as “a bunch of kids who’ve never been on the playground before.” https://tinyurl.com/y3nxe6s7 Ocasio-Cortez Hit With Campaign Fraud Lawsuit https://tinyurl.com/y363o2fs African-American Dehumanized By Dem Rep Has One Question for Her Critics https://tinyurl.com/y3s89hrl White House https://www.whitehouse.gov/ WestWingReads: https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Product Alert: Beef, Fish, Medications http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Health Alert: Plastic Found in Deli Meat http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text -<>- >From BizarreNews: It's called 'getting in over your head'. When you get your- self in trouble but instead of trying to repair the damage you just make things worse. We've all done it. The man in today's story did it. To the tune of $50,000. The first thing you do when you find yourself in a hole is stop digging. This guy traded in his shovel for a pickaxe. 60-year-old Robert Brandel had a brilliant idea. He wanted to bet on the last Super Bowl by buying a 'square' in an online pool. But more squares equals more opportunities to win. So Brandel made up some of the names in his Super Bowl Square in an attempt to take home most of the winnings himself. Instead he fell far short. So he did what any crazy person who owes 50 thousand would do; he faked his own kidnapping. According to Mr Brandel's version of events, he went to pick up the two men in his truck because they were involved in a Super Bowl Squares with him. Brandel said the men threatened him with a gun, stole $16,000 in cash and forced him to drive them around the western part of New York state for two days before tying him up and leaving him in a car park. But New York State Police became dubious about his account. "Further investigation and interviews revealed that this elaborate story was fabricated," they said in a statement. Officer James O'Callaghan told local news that they became suspicious because Mr Brandel was clean-shaven "around his beard" and calm when they found him, despite it apparently being the third day of his abduction. Officials now believe he was trying to get out of paying the 50k. Mr. Brandel is due to appear in court later this month to face charges of fraud and filing a false police report. -<>- We have all seen martial arts movies where the characters can do superhuman things; leap incredible distances, catch bullets, cling to walls, disappear, but what about a martial artist who fights animals? You might have heard of Masutatsu Oyama. He founded Kyokushin Karate and among the many stories about his career were his famous bare-handed bull fights. Whether or not these episodes were propaganda or real actual fights with bulls, the stories were famous enough to inspire a 1975 film called 'Karate Bullfighter' starring Sonny Chiba. But even still, those are just stories and movies. Real, modern day martial artists don't train by fighting animals five times their size, do they? Several times a week, kung fu teacher Ren Ruzhi of Beijing, China enters a ring to spar with a bovine opponent around five times his weight and capable of killing him, but the 24-year-old has never been hurt. Besides, he says, grappling with a snorting bull is exciting. "It symbolizes the bravery of a man," Ren said. Unlike Spain's more famous sport, the Chinese variant of bullfighting involves no swords or gore but instead fuses the moves of wrestling with the skill and speed of kung fu to bring down beasts weighing over 800 lbs. *--- What Happens When You Park In Front of a Hydrant? ---* A California driver got an important reminder about not parking next to hydrants when firefighters had to shatter two of their windows. The Anaheim Fire Department tweeted photos of a car after firefighters had to break both of its rear windows to run a hose through the vehicle to reach the hydrant. "Ever wonder what happens when a car is parked in front of a fire hydrant and a fire breaks out?" the tweet said. "Is a closer parking spot worth the broken windows and the citation and towing fees?" The department said there wasn't enough room to run the hose under the car, and running it over the top of the vehicle would have caused more damage than merely breaking the two windows. The vehicle was impounded and ticketed. *--- That's Gotta Be Some Kind of Record ---* Rhode Island police have arrested a man they say was driving under the influence when he struck more than 40 other vehicles. Police say 45-year-old Christopher Paolissi, of Foster, was "zig-zagging" his pickup truck when he struck 41 vehicles in Providence. Police say Paolissi was intoxicated, and he was driving about 15 mph when officers stopped him. He was hospitalized with non-life threatening injuries. No other injuries were reported. Police Chief Hugh Clements says officers are compiling a "lengthy report" due to the number of vehicles hit. Paolissi is facing multiple charges, including driving under the influence, reckless driving and failure to stop after an accident. *- This Is The Kind of Thing You Can Expect at a Nick Cage Fest -* A professional stuntman attempted to break a Guinness record for performing jumping jacks while on fire at a Michigan festival celebrating Nicolas Cage. Schuyler White, who served as the actor's stunt double in 2016 film Dog Eat Dog, was ignited at the kick-off event for the sixth annual Nicolas UnCaged event in Hamtramck, near Detroit. White shared photos from the attempt on Facebook. An on-site official counted White's jumping jacks before being extinguished at 12, short of his stated goal of over 30. The Guinness World Record for most consecutive jumping jacks (full-body burn) was set by Sean Kinney when he performed 30 jumping jacks in 2015 in Los Angeles. The Nicolas UnCaged festival, an unofficial celebration of the actor's work, features film screenings as well as performances of songs, skits and poetry inspired by Cage. *-- You Call That a Florida Mulligan ---* A Florida golfer said she was able to avoid a penalty thanks to a confused alligator that snatched her ball out of the air. Joanne Sadowsky said she was playing with her husband, Len, in a couple's tournament at the Bonita National Golf Club when she had a bad tee-off on hole 2. "I shanked the ball to the right, and it was heading to the water," she told the Naples Daily News. "It was close to the gator's head. He saw it, jumped up and caught it." The hungry gator's mistake earned Sadowsky a free drop. "It saved me from a hazard penalty," she said. She said the free drop unfortunately wasn't enough to win the tournament. "We came close but were just out of the money," Sadowsky said. Alligators in the Bonita Springs area have been known to display unusual behaviors in the past -- one of the reptiles was caught on video last June taking a rare swim in the ocean. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _.--"""".o/ .-.-._ __' ."""; { _J ,__ `. ; o\.-.`._.'J; ; / `- / ; `--i`". `" .'; `._ __.' | \ `""" \ `; : `."-. ; ____/ / `-.` `-.-' `"-..' ___ `;__.-'" `. .-{_ `--._ /.-" `-. / ""T ""---...' _.-"" """-. `. ; / __.-"". `. `, _.. \ / __.-"" '. \ `.,__ .'L' } `---"`-.__ __." .-. j `. : `. .' ,' / """" / \ : `. | F' \ ; ; `-._,L_,-""-. `-, ; ` ; / `. 7 `-._ `.__/_ \/ \ _; \ _.' `-. / `---" `.___,, ;"" \ .' _/ ; `" .-" _,-' { ""; ;-.____.'`. fsc `. \ '. : \ : : / `':/ ` >Here are a few of my random thoughts... 1. Do dog lovers always see spots? 2. A mobile home with a flat tire is just a home. 3. Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together and only one of them knows it. 4. If a coffee mug and a shot glass had a baby would it be a mug shot? 5. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Now, I've thought too much. I must rest. Don't think about my thoughts too much or you'll need to rest as well. Think about it! -<>- >He Did Him A Favor A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. -<>- .---. .---. ( -o- )---( -o- ) ;-...-` `-...-; / \ / \ | /_ _\ | \`'.`'"--.....--"'`.'`/ \ '. `._.` .' / _.-''. `-.,___,.-` .''-._ `--._ `'-._______.-'` _.--` jgs / \ /.-'`\ .'. /`'-.\ ` '.' '.' ` >Awkward! Employer: "Where did you receive your training?" Applicant: "Yale." Employer: "Great, what's your name?" Applicant: "Yim Yohnson." -<>- >New Medication A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so." The doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'" -<>- >Now That's Really Sick An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: "I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick." On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: "Well, just how sick are you?" "Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!" -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: What did the clock say to the watch? A: Tock to you later. Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A: A private tutor. Q: Why did the kid start a gardening service? A: He wanted to rake in some cash! Q: What goes up when the rain comes down? A: An umbrella! Q: What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A: A power failure. .-------------------.__ /` ( I don't get paid ) O/ __ ( enough for this #@#$!% ) / / / `---O-------------------' O/ O/O/ o o _ . ,---. oOO___;-`-._,.,-. _.._,' __ `. ______| |_|| | (___ ;' `. ; /' / .' `'`-' ``\\ / ; ; / / ,,))\ ,' ,' _,'`\/ `---' ; ; ; `. `. __,-' ,------`--`---. ((( _ _ __) .',' ' `. -------. |\\//\\//\\//\\//\| `. |//\\//\\//\\//\\/| | |\\//\\//\\//\\//\| ________/ \\\_\___________/ jv Q: What do snakes put on their kitchen floors? A: Rep-tiles! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: AS FRESH AS IT GETS //////////////////////// ////////////////////////| //////////////////////// | ////////////////////////| | | _\/_ | _\/_ | | | )o(> | <)o( | | | _/ <\ | /> \_ | | | (_____) | (_____) | |_ | ~~~oOo~~~ | ~~~0oO~~~ |/__| _|====\_=====|=====_/====|_ || |_|\_________ O _________/|_||| ||//////////|_|\\\\\\\\\\|| || || || |\_\\ || || ||/|| \\_\\ ||/|| ||/|| \)_\) ||/|| || || \ o / || || || \ / || LGB || || ________ \________/====== / ( || ) \ A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOSH! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." -<>- Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog Skipper had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?" -<>- When I was around 4 years old, I was biting my nails pretty badly and my mother showed me a picture of a child with a very swollen belly due to malnutrition. "That will happen to you if you keep biting your nails," she told me. Later that week we were in the supermarket standing in line at the checkout counter behind a lady who was obviously 9 months pregnant. I pointed to her and, in a very loud voice, said, "We know what she has been doing don't we mommy?" Have you ever seen your mother try to crawl under a cash register and hide? -<>- A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text; "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." He replied, "I am on the toilet. Please advise." -<>- === === === === ___===____________oooo___________oooo____________===___ |___===___________________________________________===___| === | /O O\ | === dwb || || jrb === || || === ( | _ | ) || ( ) || _ || _/_-_\_ || \ ooooO /___|___\ Ooooo == ((( )|____^____|( ))) / \ (|)MMMMM| |#####(|) |MILK| (_)MMMM/ \####(_) |____| --------------------------------------------------------------------- __ ____ ___ __ ___ ___ ( )(_ _) ( \ / \( _)/ __) )( )( ) ) )( () )) _)\__ \ (__) (__) (___/ \__/(___)(___/ ____ _ _ ___ ___ __ ___ _ _ __ __ __ ___ _ (_ _)( )( )( _) ( ,) / \( \( \/ ) / _) / \ / \( \ / \ )( )__( ) _) ) ,\( () )) ) )\ / ( (/\( () )( () )) ) )\_/ (__) (_)(_)(___) (___/ \__/(___/(__/ \__/ \__/ \__/(___/ (_) A wife asked her husband, "Honey, could you please run to the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen." A while later the husband returned with a case of quart milk cartons. Staring incredulously at the 12-pack case of milk, his wife asked, "Why the heck did you buy so much milk?" Her husband said, "They had eggs." -<>- >TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 50s, 60s and 70s! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL. And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! ========================================================= >-->From TheJokester: __ ___ __ .ama , ,d888a ,d88888888888ba. ,88"I) d a88']8i a88".8"8) `"8888:88 " _a8' .d8P' PP .d8P'.8 d) "8:88:baad8P' ,d8P' ,ama, .aa, .ama.g ,mmm d8P' 8 .8' 88):888P' ,d88' d8[ "8..a8"88 ,8I"88[ I88' d88 ]IaI" d8[ Normand a88' dP "bm8mP8'(8'.8I 8[ d88' `" .88 Veilleux ,88I ]8' .d'.8 88' ,8' I[ ,88P ,ama ,ama, d8[ .ama.g [88' I8, .d' ]8, ,88B ,d8 aI (88',88"8) d8[ "8. 88 ,8I"88[ ]88 `888P' `8888" "88P"8m" I88 88[ 8[ dP "bm8m88[.8I 8[ ]88, _,,aaaaaa,_ I88 8" 8 ]P' .d' 88 88' ,8' I[ `888a,. ,aadd88888888888bma. )88, ,]I I8, .d' )88a8B ,d8 aI "888888PP"' `8""""""8 "888PP' `888P' `88P"88P"8m" >Marketing Genius Chevy Nova Award * These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given out in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, of course, in Spanish, "it doesn't go". * The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?" _.._..,_,_ ( ) ]~,"-.-~~[ .=])' (; ([ | ]:: ' [ '=]): .) ([ |:: ' | ~~----~~ Paul Martin Howard * Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea." * Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." * Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "Manure Stick." * When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read. * Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. * An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" la papa). _......._ .:::::::::::. /:::::::::::::\ ;:::::::::===:::; |_`'==='`_,,,_ `| ;;;-,,,-;;;;;;;-; \;;;;;;;;;;;;;/ jgs ';;;;;;;;;;;' `""""""'` * Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese. * The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokou kole", translating into "happiness in the mouth." * Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate." * When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant!" * When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Animal Friends 6 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends6.html Revenge Parking! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/revengeparking.html Morons At Work 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork5.html Unique Homes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uniquehomes.html Houses Of Power! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/housesofpower.html IRONIC Isn't It 3? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony3.html Maria The Goose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goose.html At The Car Wash! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carwash.html Amazing Benches! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bench.html Crocodile Man! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/crocodileman.html Polar Bear Twins! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/polartwins.html Orangutan Mom And Son! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/orang3.html Beautiful Monarch Butterflies! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/monarchbutterflies.html Thoughts Into Action 9! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action9.html God's Sky Paintings! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gsky.html Normandy Then And Now! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/normandy2.html Humor With The Troops 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humor4.html 9/11 And Troops INDEX! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html Spring Time Pages INDEX https://tinyurl.com/y4xyz2w8 -<>- Some of Shangrala's Best Pages http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html Click To Give - Scroll to bottom for all others https://tinyurl.com/y2nvpmjn The Same Game This is a game where you'll have to remove all the bubbles by clicking on groups with the same color. But beware, it's not as easy as it sounds! http://www.mah-jongg.ch/samegame/ Ripleys and Believe It or Not! Looking for the oddities of life? Look no further. http://www.ripleys.com/ 13 of the world's most stupid criminals https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-35785834 The Dumbest Criminals of 2018 https://www.ranker.com/list/dumbest-criminals-2018/ranker-news Wackiest Celebrity Baby Names https://tinyurl.com/y23cyvr5 Funny Cats and Kittens Meowing Compilation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXUAyRRkI6k Try Not To Aww Watching Super Cute Parrots And Birds 2018 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8_v-1VbdJw Cute pandas playing on the slide https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGF6bOi1NfA -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A great animated short film with a happy ending :) https://youtu.be/07d2dXHYb94 Paul Daniels is a brilliant magician with a unique comedy style. https://youtu.be/UC5BwubD9gc Magic illusionist Derren Brown amazes James Cordon and the Late Show audience with a pair of dice, a series of numbers, and a bag of rice. https://youtu.be/zAJHUv2JS7w One of the most beautiful and impressive trapeze acts, performed by 'Duo Scarlette' for the French television show 'The World's Greatest Cabaret.' https://youtu.be/sjwtaVwWS70 --- ...Wow! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Nintendo is releasing a video game that lets you simulate taking care of a baby. When they heard this, gamers said, 'Hey, call me when you have one that simulates MAKING one.'" -Conan O'Brien "Today was International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. There's a party later tonight, but I heard it's going to be a real snausage fest." -Seth Meyers "A new study found that most people cant go 10 minutes without lying. But since the study took 20 minutes nobody knows what to believe." -Jimmy Fallon "A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, 'I'm suing whoever's responsible for this!' And her professor said, 'Don't you mean WHOMEVER?'" -Jimmy Fallon "A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving at 11 miles-an-hour." -Conan O'Brien "A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so- called 'New Yorker milkshake' which comes topped with whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the next topping you'll get is a coffin lid." -Seth Meyers "I read about a man in Virginia who paid the DMV his $3,000 fine in pennies. It took the workers 12 hours to count them all. And that line still moved faster than the one you were in waiting in at the DMV." -Jimmy Fallon "Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is officially shutting down. Now, the circus won't officially close until May, so if you don't get a chance to see it, you had 150 years. No one feels bad for you." -Stephen Colbert "There's a new app out there that describes itself as Tinder for adopting babies. So one day, siblings will be taunting each other with, 'Ha ha, mom right-swiped you. You shouldn't be here.'" -Conan O'Brien "The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion." - G. K. Chesterton "The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it." - Dudley Moore "The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time." - Willem de Kooning >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************