Happy Labor Day!... :) Shangy!
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
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AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family!
^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :)
-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This too hot to handle new page is from our friend KarenF. It
is one to give you plenty of Ooos with it's lovely photography
art! Be sure to check it out here...
___
/ _ \\ ,,
/=(_)=\\//
\ =(_) (O}
\_____\\ .--. Jonathon R. Oglesbee
/=(_)\\\ .'_\/_'.
\____/// '. /\ .' aka JRO
()) "||"
|| /\
/\ ||//\)
(/\\||/
____________\||/________________________________
Butterflies And Flowers!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/butterfliesflowers.html
---
...Awww, most beautiful! thanks KarenF!
-<>-
*~* We Had A Fabulous Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month!
.-..-.
(-o/\o-)
/`""``""`\
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jgs `""`\::::/\::::/\::::/\::::/`""`
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>Please Be Sure To View And Share These Pages With Your Friends...
Making America Great Again!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trumpposters.html
Magical Tiny Snails 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snails2.html
The Cow And Tortoise!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cow.html
Beautiful Wales!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wales.html
Ricochet And Kids W/SMA!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochetsmakids.html
World Mysteries 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldmysteries2.html
Giant Creatures!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/giantcreatures.html
Amazing Bus Stops 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bus2.html
Humorous Signs 4!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns4.html
Cool Optical Illusions 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/optical3.html
Why Golf Is Better!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golf.html
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* / --- . \ jgs .
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* May God Smile On All Our Sweet Contributors! Thank You! :)
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
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`\ '`_)\\-++++-//(_`' /'
jgs ; (__|| ||__) ;
; ___\ /___ ;
'. ---/-=..=-\--- .'
`""` `""`
A football coach was asked his secret of evaluating raw recruits.
"Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones
that go around the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run
into the trees, I turn into linemen."
-<>-
>The Inevitable Laws of Work
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done
and what you're going to do.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month
than you did before.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will
happen to you the rest of the day.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never
talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn
fool about it.
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the
boss asks for a ride home from the office.
Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous".
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is
supposed to be doing.
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the
mail.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really
good, you will get out of it.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your
desk.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the
number of pens that person is carrying.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by
reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for
everything that goes wrong.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
September 3 is Labor Day and Skyscraper Day
September 4 is Newspaper Carrier Day
September 5 is Be Late for Something Day and Cheese Pizza Day
September 6 is Fight Procrastination Day and Read a Book Day
September 7 is National Salami Day and Neither Rain nor Snow Day
September 8 is International Literacy Day, National Date Nut Bread Day
and Pardon Day
September 9 is Grandparent's Day, National Pet Memorial Day, Rosh
Hashanah and Teddy Bear Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
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(@@@) (@@@@@@@) (@@@@@@) (@@@)
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(:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:-| [___ .------------------------.
|C&O : : : : : : [_9_] |'='|.----------------------.|
/|.___________________________|___|'--.___.--.___.--.___.-'|
/ ||_.--.______.--.______.--._ |---\'--\-.-/==\-.-/==\-.-/-'/--
/__;^=(==)======(==)======(==)=^~^^^ ^^^^(-)^^^^(-)^^^^(-)^^^ jgs
~~~^~~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~^~~~
>Train Conductor
Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the train. He has
great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs into a problem rider.
One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over
his ticket to be punched.
"Where are you going today?" Bob asked, smiling.
"Well, what does the ticket say?" replied the traveler sarcastically.
"Um, it says you're on the wrong train," Bob informed him.
"What am I supposed to do now?" asked the flustered passenger.
Returning the punched card, Bob replied calmly, "Ask the ticket."
-<>-
>Philosophy Exam
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final
exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor
picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the
board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove
that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious
fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour
attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member
of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group
wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely
written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words:
"What chair?"
-<>-
>Retail Experience
Rossi was the manager of an upscale men's wear store in a wealthy
section of town and was interviewing Abe for a recently advertised
salesman role.
Rossi looked at Abe's resume and noticed that Abe had never worked in
retail before. Rossi said to Abe, "If you don't mind me saying. For
someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high
salary."
"Well, I suppose I am," Abe replied, "but you must understand that the
work is so much harder when you don't know what you're doing."
-<>-
>Lucky Number 5
A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years,
has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, and who's lucky number is 5,
receives a phone call from a friend.
The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running
in the fifth race at the local track that evening.
Excitedly, the man withdraws $5,555.55 cash from his bank account,
goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5 to win.
Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth.
-<>-
>How Old Is Your Baby?
Three months after the birth of my first child, I finally managed to
get to the supermarket alone. As I stood in the check-out line with
my full cart, someone tapped me on the shoulder and asked, "How old
is your baby?"
I turned around and was surprised to see an unfamiliar face. "How do
you know I have a baby?" I asked.
"Because," she replied with a smile, "You're rocking your groceries
and humming 'Hush Little Baby.'"
=========================================================
>-->Labor Day Jokes
_____ _ _____ ____ /_ /,
| ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \>
| `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_
|_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$
;-''
pb
>Labor Day Jokes If You Are Staying in a Hotel:
* Amusing Notice in New Mexico Reception:
* The elevator is being fixed for the next day.
* During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
* Please leave your values at the front desk.
* Notice in the Bar:
Special cocktails: For the ladies with nuts.
* Notice in the Hotel Shop:
Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
* Take one of our horse-driven tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Or, would you like to ride on your own ass?
-<>-
..::''''::..
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,;' .;: () ..: `:::' :: :: :: ::
::. ..:,:;.,:;. . :: .::::. `:' :: .:' :: :: `:. ::
'''::, :: :: :: `:: :: ;: .:: : :: : : ::
,:'; ::; :: :: :: :: :: ::,::''. . :: `:. .:' ::
`:,,,,;;' ,;; ,;;, ;;, ,;;, ,;;, `:,,,,:' :;: `;..``::::''..;'
``::,,,,::''
>Labor Day Jokes and One-liners
Father: Do you know, most people don't have to work today, because it's
Labour Day.
Son: If people are not working, shouldn't we call today 'No-Labour Day?'
Q: Did you hear the one about Labor Day?
A: It works for me!
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday. However, the only person
to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where
the bus stops, what is a work station?
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would
probably be Labor Day Weekend. -Doug Larson
'It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression
when you lose your own.' -Harry S. Truman
* A Russian cousin arrives in West Sacramento CA
American cousin: How do you say 'Labor Day' in Russian?
Russian cousin: Another freezing and snowy day.
-<>-
_____
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/ | . | \
/ | . | \ JRO
>Finding the Right Job
In honor of Labor Day, here's a first person report of someone who was
not quite as successful as he had hoped to be in the job market:
As a young man:
My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn't
concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack
it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of
the hole business.
I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered.
I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly
because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing.
I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.
In my prime:
Next I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was
exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I didn't have the
right altitude.
I studied to become a doctor, but I didn't have enough patients for
the job.
I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn't stick with it.
I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn't my
racket. I was too high strung.
I became a baker, but it wasn't a cakewalk, and I couldn't make
enough dough. They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain.
I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.
Later in life:
Then I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn't
fit for the job.
I thought about being a historian, but I couldn't see a future in
it.
Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and
revolting, so they discharged me.
I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties,
and my class.
I turned to farming, but I wasn't outstanding in my field.
I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs,
and I got the shaft.
I sold origami, but the business folded.
Finally:
I took a job at UPS, but I couldn't express myself.
I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.
I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally
withdrew from the job.
I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn't live on my net
income.
I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn't fit in. They
thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.
I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the
same old grind.
So I've retired, and I find I'm a perfect fit for this job!
More Jokes Here:
http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/saints/labor_day.htm
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
,--. ,--.
( O ) ( O )
`--' \ `--'
\ _
>-. / /|
`-.__.'
Krogg
>SMILES
A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he
wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the
banner company.
The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the
dimensions needed for the entryway.
The sign came back a few days later: "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet
long and two feet wide".
----------
A generously endowed young lady at college often got teased by her
sorority sisters for being so top-heavy. At a fraternity party, a young
man asked her what she would like to drink. "Diet soda, please," she
replied. "Oh, you must be the double D." he said. The girl was furious,
wondering which of her so-called friends had divulged such personal
information. "And just what do you mean by that?" she snapped. Surprised
at her angry response, the young man meekly answered, "Oh, you know --
the Designated Driver."
----------
Husband takes the wife to her high school reunion. After meeting several
of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table
where he is yawning and overly bored. The band cranks up and people are
beginning to dance. There's a guy on the dance floor living it large,
break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the
works. Wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago
he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he's
still celebrating!!!"
----------
The blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and
my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
"Don't you have a phone in your car?" the shrink asks.
"That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a
mailbox in my car."
Intrigued, the doc asks: "Uh...how's that working?"
"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
The psychiatrist follows up, "And why do you think that is?"
The blonde answers, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my
zip code keeps changing.
----------
After several hours the man at the bar was so drunk that he began to
slump over onto the people beside him. In no uncertain terms the
bartender told him that he'd had enough and had to leave. "Had 'nuff,
huh?" the man said. noticing aa cat walking across the room, he said, "I
can prove i isn't drunk. See that cat comin' inna door? Well, she only
has one eye." "You're drunk, all right," the bartender said. "That cat's
leaving."
-------
Customer: "Excuse me, but are you looking to hire any help at present?"
Manager: "No, we already have all the staff we need."
Customer: "Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?"
----------
_
, L\
\/OO\
|/ \
/_\ `
_\ |_ Arjen Pilon
Blonde jokes
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a
regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
Q: Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to
realize she could play it in the afternoon.
Q: What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
A: They drowned in Spring Training.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow stepped on her.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for French fries.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: They are easier to amuse.
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted flakes.
Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed.
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead?
A: She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.
Q: Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light
bulbs?
A: She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
Q: Why are the Japanese so smart?
A: No blondes.
Q: What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde?
A: You get to park in the Handicapped Zone
--------
\\ /////
| |
(| _ _ |)
|` | '|
| __ |
>>>___/\_^__/\___<<<
/ ||| \
Mike Hertz
A United States Marine was taking some college courses
between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq
and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who
was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real,
then I want you to knock me off this platform... I'll give you
exactly 15 min."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes
went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still
waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got
out of his chair, went up to the professor, and punched him;
knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there
looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What in the
world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Marine calmly replied, "GOD was too busy today protecting
America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid
stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me."
The classroom erupted in cheers!
---
...And Me Too! TeeHee! Love these! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
Justice With Judge Jeanine 9/1/18
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyah6J3DhyM
Devin Nunes Announces New Clinton Evidence Burns Entire
Swamp To The Ground(VIDEO)!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yguftY1aGNs
Top Dem Operative Violated Russian Sanctions
https://tinyurl.com/yad9feex
President Trump’s New Trade Deal
https://1600daily.com/2018/08/29/president-trumps-new-trade-deal/
Major Victory Against ISIS in Afghanistan
https://1600daily.com/2018/08/27/major-victory-isis-afghanistan/
Disgraced Soldier Who Joined ISIS Faces Justice
https://tinyurl.com/ycd8pmn4
Here’s How Kavanaugh Was Rated By Other Lawyers
https://tinyurl.com/y7jzoc6l
President Trump’s Solution to Retirement
https://1600daily.com/2018/09/01/president-trumps-solution-retirement/
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Latest From RightAlerts:
http://rightalerts.com
Latest At FoxNews:
http://www.foxnews.com/
Latest From MRC News:
https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck
Latest From TrueDailyNews:
http://truedaily.news/category/news/
Students For Life
https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6
Latest From OperationRescue:
http://www.operationrescue.org/
Move America Forward
http://www.moveamericaforward.org/
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
It is no surprise to anyone who reads the news that the
'right' in this country is coming under increasing attack
by radical political and social elements. So far it has
mostly been social media pressure, demonstrations and
protests, but recently a secret group of activists in
Virginia has begun a campaign to eliminate the right in
a series of criminal attacks.
The Roanoke Times has reported that the Clean Soles shoe
store has been robbed of only right shoes over the course
of two break-ins this summer.
Clean Soles operator Rob Wickham says his two-year-old
sneaker store was raided by two people in July, and again
in August. Together, he lost shirts, hoodies, a jacket,
and 13 right shoes.
Wickham says he typically keeps right shoes on display,
while their other halves rest behind the counter.
Accordingly, Wickham says the looters were "pretty much
risking their freedom for nothing."
But have they? Is this a secret message being sent to
conservative America?
-<>-
*------- Burglar Caught In a Tight Spot -------*
Los Angeles police said a burglary suspect was arrested after
needing to be rescued from his position between a wall and a
building. The Los Angeles Police Department said a homeowner
checking their security camera footage about 11:30 p.m. saw
a person wandering the property. The homeowner decided to
check the property the next morning to see if anything had
been disturbed and they found the man was wedged between a
wall and the home's garage. The Los Angeles Fire Department
responded about 8:10 a.m. and it took more than an hour to
free the man, who had sustained minor injuries from his
ordeal. It was unclear how long he had been wedged. LAPD
Officer Rosario Herrera said the man was arrested on
suspicion of trespassing and police suspect he may have been
involved in a nearby burglary earlier Wednesday evening.
*----------------- Bongzilla ------------------*
A soon-to-open marijuana museum in Las Vegas offered a sneak
preview of its exhibits -- including a 24-foot-tall bong
said to be the world's largest. The Cannabition Cannabis
Museum, set to open in September on downtown Las Vegas'
famed Fremont Street, held a sneak preview event that
included the unveiling of its star attraction, a 25-foot-
tall, 800-pound bong dubbed "Bongzilla." J.J. Walker
[Kid Dy-no-mite!], founder of Cannabition, said Bongzilla,
created by artist Jason Harris, might eventually be used
for actual marijuana smoking if Nevada's recreational
marijuana laws are amended to allow for smoking in public
social settings. "It's actually glow-in-the-dark glass,
and it's actually a hittable bong," Walker said. Harris
said he felt Cannabition was the right home for his
creation. "Las Vegas will be the new Amsterdam of the
world," he told the Los Angeles Times. "I see it as a big
lighthouse and beacon that says, 'Just smoke me.'"
*- When Life Hands You Lemons, This Guy Will Steal Them -*
A California sheriff's office said deputies conducting a
traffic stop arrested a man found to be transporting 800
pounds of stolen lemons. The Riverside County Sheriff's
Office said deputies were investigating a string of recent
agricultural thefts when they conducted the traffic stop
Friday. The sheriff's office said Los Angeles resident
Dioncio Fierros, 69, was found to be transporting about
800 pounds of freshly picked lemons that had been illegally
taken from a nearby farm.
*- World Dive Chess Championship Held in London -*
Much like ski-boxing, and women's basketball, underwater
chess sounds like a madeup activity, but apparently it is
popular enough that a world championship was held recently
in London where chess players showed off their skills - as
well as their lung capacities. The underwater tournament
featured players taking turns diving underwater to make
their moves on a chess board submerged in a pool. The rules
require a player to make a move before coming up for air,
and the next player must then go underwater until they have
made a response move. Organizers said the aquatic twist
makes the ancient game of chess more challenging and
faster-paced.
=========================================================
>-->From TheGroaner:
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>You're Getting Fat!
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
he said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," he replied, "but what is growing in your butt?"
-<>-
>Fun with Science
Two atoms are walking down the street. One says, "I think I lost an
electron.
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive."
-<>-
>What's That In Your Hand?
A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she
said yes. When he went to wipe his fanny there was no toilet paper so,
he used his hand.
When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have on your
hand?"
The boy said, "A leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared
away."
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him,
"What do you have in your hand?"
So the little boy said, "A leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get
scared away."
Then the principal got mad and yelled, "Open your hand NOW!"
So he did and the little boy said, "Oh great, now look what you did, you
scared the crap out of him!"
-<>-
/(_
/_ (_
/ O \
|_. |
\ |
| |\
/ | \
| \ (-.\ fish walking
_)\ \ (
)_/\ \_(
\ /
) ( _ _ _
/ _ \ /'\/'\'\
/ _// / \(/\(/(/
\\_/_/ \_\/ ./<./<.
Lc.
>Q and A Quickies
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy?
A: Vitamin sea!
Q: Can February March?
A: No But April May!
Q: What's the difference between pink and purple?
A: The grip!
Q: How do baseball players keep in touch?
A: They touch base every once in a while.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
Q: What do you call the wife of a Hippie?
A: Mississippi
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
|
|
A
_/X\_
\/X\/
|V|
|A|
|V|
/XXX\
|\/\|
|/\/|
|\/\|
|/\/|
|\/\|
|/\/|
IIIIIII
|\/_\/|
/\// \\/\
|/| |\|
/\X/___\X/\
IIIIIIIIIIIII
/`-\/XXXXX\/-`\
/`.-'/\|/I\|/\'-.`\
/`\-/_.-"` `"-._ \-/\
/.-'.' '.'-.\
jgs /`\-/ \-/`\
_/`-'/`_ _`\'-`\_
`"""""""` `""""""`
Dewey was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To
encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really
beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French."
Dewey ran into class all excited one day, saying, "Teacher,
teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking
in French!"
"Great!" said the teacher; "what were they saying?"
"I don't know," Dewey replied; "I couldn't understand a word
of it."
-<>-
Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage
and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway.
Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening
tools and a bicycle.
A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going
to have a garage sale.
"No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first
car and right now he's getting ready for a big date. He'll
be taking the car out soon to pick up the girl."
"So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor.
"Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports
equipment out of the way every time I came home from work,
I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."
-<>-
Did you know you can find the gender of an ant by putting it
in water?
If it sinks: girl ant.
If it floats: boy ant.
-<>-
Needing to look up a phone number while at a friend's house,
my teenage daughter asked for a phone book. She might as
well have asked for a papyrus scroll.
"A phone book?" asked her friend.
"You know," said my daughter. "A book with numbers in it."
"Oh," said her friend as it dawned on her. "You mean a math
book."
-<>-
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his
children and immediately started to assemble it with all
the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.
After several hours of reading the directions, attempting
to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and
called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in
a short while had the set completely assembled.
It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together
without even reading instructions."
"To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read,
and when you can't read, you've got to think."
-<>-
Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our
upcoming prom. "I'm renting a stretch limo and spending
$1,000 on a new dress, and I've reserved a table at the
most expensive restaurant in town," she said.
Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. "I didn't
spend that much on my wedding."
My friend answered, "I can have three or four weddings.
But a prom you do only once."
=========================================================
>-->From TheMouth:
__
(`/\
`=\/\ __...--~~~~~-._ _.-~~~~~--...__
`=\/\ \ / \\
`=\/ V \\
//_\___--~~~~~~-._ | _.-~~~~~~--...__\\
// ) (..----~~~~._\ | /_.~~~~----.....__\\
===( INK )==========\\|//====================
__ejm\___/________dwb`---`____________________________________________
>Great Book That Were Never Written
1. 20 yards to the Out House by Willie Makit (Illustrated by Betty Wont)
2. The Yellow River by I.P. Daily
3. Caulking Made Easy by Phil McKrevis
4. I Was Prepared by Justin Case
5. The Nudist Colony by Seymour Skin
6. The Numbers Game by Cal Q. Later
7. Supporting Athletes by Jacques Strappe
8. Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts
9. Falling Off A Cliff by Eileen Dover
10. Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Freeley
-<>-
|
\ | /
_\_|_/_
.'` `'.
/ __ __ \
; / _\ / _\ ;
| |(_/ |(_/ |
| \_, \_, |
; .-"""-. ;
\ / \ /
_ __ __ .-`| |`-. __ __ _
/ \/ \/ \ / \ / \ / \/ \/ \
=jgs=-=\_/\__/\__/=-===-=-'._ _.'-:=-=-==\__/\__/\_/=:=-==
: : : ``` : : :
: : : : : :
=-==:==-:--===:==:==-===:==:=---=:=-:-===-=:==:--==-:==:--==
: : : : : :
: : : : : :
=:==:==---:=-=:==-=:-===:==-=:--=:==--:==-=:==--:==-:==--:==
: : : : : : :
: : : : : : :
-:-===:==-:--===:==:==-===:==:=---=:=-:-===-=:==:--==-:==:--
: : : : : :
: : : : : :
-=-===:==---==-=:==-==-===:==-==--=:==---==-=:==---==-:==---
>Top Ten Signs You're Paranoid
10. You run away upon seeing a mall directory that says, "You are here."
9. Thirty five locks on your sock drawer just aren't enough.
8. You hire a private eye to keep an eye out on your house, but then
fire him because he's part of the conspiracy.
7. Before you take the garbage cans back from the street, you check them
for really short Mafia hit men.
6. You are learning six foreign languages because you just know those
people you don't understand are talking about YOU.
5. You even wonder if the guard dog you hired is secretly plotting
against you.
4. You have a funny feeling the voices in your head are plotting behind
your back.
3. It takes you three hours each evening to program the household alarms
and video surveillance system before you can go to bed.
2. You're checking off each number on this list as you read.
1. The Witness Relocation Program has told you to stop showing up unless
you have an actual reason to.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Rotating Skyscrapers!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skyscraper.html
Singapore's Sky Park!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skypark.html
Incredible Architecture!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/architecture.html
Jaw-Dropping Things!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarethings.html
Under His Wings!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wings.html
The Wild Ones!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildones.html
Pucker Up Baby!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babypucker.html
Black Deer Fawn!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deer.html
Real Three Bears!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bears.html
Real Eagle Story!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html
Right Angle Photography 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto3.html
Adam In Paradise!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/adam.html
Beautiful Wolves!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolves.html
Taking A Catnap!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catnap.html
Why God Gave Us Pets!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gpets.html
Best Playmate!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/playmate.html
Identity Theft!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft.html
Awww Animals!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals.html
Wedding Fails!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/weddingfails.html
-<>-
5 Classic Works Everyone Forgets Started Out As Total Flops
From Cracked.com: Classics aren't always immediately recognized
as such. Audiences ignored Citizen Kane, critics hated The Catcher
In The Rye, and it's becoming increasingly clear that our poetry
chapbook Cracked Hearts won't be appreciated until centuries after
our deaths. It's all almost as egregious as the initial receptions
for now-beloved works like ...
https://tinyurl.com/y6vpqnn5
Ranking Every Stephen King Adaptation, From Worst To Best
From Buzzfeed.com: From Carrie and The Shining to It and Gerald's Game,
here's how all 60 Stephen King adaptations stack up.
https://tinyurl.com/y8sl3ng8
40 Jaw Dropping Facts You Probably Never Knew About "Jaws"
From DoYouRemember.com: One of the most beloved movies of all time, one
of Steven Spielberg's earliest masterpieces, and the 7th highest
grossing movie of all time, Jaws has left a major mark on the
entertainment industry. Not only have it's then-cutting-edge use of
effects, it's terror-inducing writing, and game-changing cinematography
left a lasting impression on audiences around the world, the production
was wrought with complications and secrets never before revealed...
until now. Let's take a look at 40 facts and secrets from the set of
Steven Spielberg's Jaws!
https://doyouremember.com/62828/40-things-probably-never-knew-jaws/
10 Studios That Spoiled Their Own Movies
From Cracked.com: Between social media and advance screenings, it's
getting harder and harder to avoid movie spoilers. But even if you
manage to escape all that, your movie experience might still be spoiled
... by the studio itself.
https://tinyurl.com/y74bp9vw
Funny & Cute Owls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=210&v=HyqiP-9BDRk
Dogs Meet Their Owners After Long Time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTmjt2YfqX8
Lion Sees His Adoptive Dad After 7 Years - Truly Heart-warming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlXjoPtTGT8
Bach on Piano for Blind Elephant
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOr2O0FfpT8
Grazing cows rush to listen to accordion music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IypL_EcI9XE
Florida Dairy Farmer Holds Concert for Dairy Cows
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZW4Ska8gvA
When he plays his Native flute, this elephant starts dancing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8mk9uJHyXw
Philip Hahn (6y): Ludwig van Beethoven Sonata Nr 20 op 49 Nr 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxGIa01RQlU
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
She sent us a cute one we have here:
Best Bed Positions
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bed.html
BEST ILLUSIONS on Got Talent Global (WORLDWIDE) Watch some of the best
magicians perform some of the most amazing magic and illusions on Got
Talent Global.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpif-Wihq20
---
...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Today is Thursday. Or what I like to call on Friday,
'yesterday.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"Astronomers at NASA are saying that they discovered a new
Earth-like planet that's only 4.2 light years away. I know,
I reacted the exact same way as you did. I don't know how
far that is either." -James Corden
"KFC has come out with a sunscreen that makes you smell
like fried chicken. Of course if you want to smell like
KFC, you could just ride around in any single guy's car."
-Conan O'Brien
"Last week, Twitter introduced a 'quality filter' that gets
rid of tweets that contain spam, mean, or unwanted content.
An hour later, Twitter filed for bankruptcy." -Conan O'Brien
"Police in Australia are searching for a group of men seen
releasing live crocodiles into a school building. Though,
if you ask me, they should probably be searching for the
crocodiles." -Seth Meyers
"A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are
more likely to have health problems. Or as those people put
it, 'I was afraid of that.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"Pope Francis is now telling married couples to have
children, because only having pets could lead to anger
or bitterness in old age. As opposed to having kids,
which leads to anger AND bitterness in old age."
-Jimmy Fallon
"A family cleaning out their grandparents' attic in Florida
found a wooden box containing a mummified pirate's hand on
a map with gold coins. A treasure chest full of gold pirate
coins may be cool, but do you know what I have in my attic?
Family heirlooms and pictures of all my loved ones - and
isn't that the real treasure? No, no it isn't. The real
treasure is a treasure chest full of gold pirate coins."
-James Corden
"According to a list by 'Business Insider,' Washington
University in St. Louis is the college with the best food.
While the college with the worst food is the Olive Garden's
culinary institute." -Seth Meyers
"One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises
one makes."
--Friedrich Nietzsche
"In a mad world only the mad are sane."
--Akira Kurosawa
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."
--Frank Zappa
"Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning."
--Marlo Thomas
"Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse."
--Miguel de Cervantes
"When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody."
--W. S. Gilbert
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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