Happy Labor Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ *~* Wishing Everyone A HAPPY BLESSED LABOR DAY! :) _.(-)._ .' '. / \ |'-...___...-'| \ '=' / `'._____.'` / | \ /.--'|'--.\ []/'-.__|__.-'\[] | jgs [] >Our Friend Kay sent us an ecard :) http://tinyurl.com/z7hk5dr --- ...Aww, such a sweet one! Thanks Kay! -<>- >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) We have 2 flaming hot new pages from our friends Linda, LouiseAu and KarenF. If you are like me, you'll be staying home this Labor Day. These will give you a pleasant virtual mini vacation of some really gorgeous places around the world. Sit back, relax and enjoy! ,,;;%%;%;` ,;%%%%%`%%%%%%,;%%%%` O ,;%%%%%;` ,;%%%%`;%%/,;%%%%%%%%` / \ ,;%%%,%%%%%%%`` ,;%%%%\%%%%%,%%%%%%%%%%%;` |_| ,%_,%%%%%//-;%%%%%%%` ,;%%%%%%%%\,%`,%%%%%//-;%%%%%`.'|'. ,;%%%%%;% %%_%%%%`%%%%%%` ,;%%%%%;% %%_%%%%`%%%%%%%``.' | '.;%%%%%;% %%`%%%%`%%%%%%`` ,%%%_;%%%%%/_.,%%%% ;%%%;.' | '.%_;%%%\ (_.,%%%%;%`` %` ,%%%%%,-,%%%%;%%%%,`` %%%.' | '.,-,%%%%;%%%%,`` %%%%` ,%%%; ,%%%%%%;\-;%%%%%%.' | '.%%%;\-;%%%%%%``%%`%` ,;% ,;%%%%%\\%%`).-%%%.' | '.%%%\\%%`).-%%%%%`%` ,%%; %%%%``/-%%%.'\_________,;@;,_________/'.%%%``/-%%%%%%`` ` ,;%%%' / `/ `|\_________;_;_;_;_________/|%/ `/ `%%%`%` / ( %%@, |||%` || ; ; ; ; || ,%|||/ ( `%%`%` / ;#%@%%%,|||` || | | || |||,%`/ ` __lc%#%@%#%;%%@|||%%,|| ;@#%| | ,@%;||%@,|||%@%;__ %#@%%#%#,@%%#|||#@#||%%#%@| |#@%#@||%%#|||#%%@` ,@%%%#%#%;%%#%%;||___||_____| |_____||___||;@%#%%, ,;%#%%@%%@%#%#%%@||!!!||!!!!!| |!!!!!||!!!||#%%#@#;,%@, ~^,#@%%##%@%%%@%%||!!![]!!!!!| |!!!!![]!!!||@%#%%%@%%#% ~"^,@%#%%%@%#%#|| | | ||#%#@%#%#%%%; ~"^;@%#%%%#@[]_________[___]_________[]%@#%##%%@#%, ~"^"~"^"~[_________________________]~"^"~"^"~"^~ ,;@;, [___________________________] ,;@;, ;[;_;]; ;[;_;]; | |/ \| | | | | | | | | | | | | | [___]_______________________________[___] ~"^"~ ~"^"~ World's Spectacular Places 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces4.html World's Spectacular Places 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces5.html --- ...Awww, so magnificent! Thanks my friends! -<>- *~* We Had A Fabulous Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month! >Please Be Sure To Visit And Share These With Your Family & Friends: Nikola Culjic 3D Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/3dart.html Morning After The Party! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/afterparty.html Identity Theft 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft5.html Beware Of Dog Signs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bewareofdog.html Rarely Seen Things 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarelyseen3.html Rarely Seen Things 4! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rarelyseen4.html A Little Help Please! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/helpplease.html Decorating A Man Cave! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mancave.html Adorable Animal Selfies! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalselfies.html Pets As Famous People! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petsfamous.html Lioness And Fox! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lionessandfox.html Walmart Parking! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/walmartparking.html CATtitude! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cattitude.html * MAY GOD SUPER BLESS ALL OUR WONDERFUL CONTRIBUTORS! -<>- ==============================+ || a' `8888888####a:f| || .a:8' `888888888####| || .a8:P' / `888888888###| ||a8P' / __= `888888888##| ||' _____ Y8888888###| || >--'' / 88888888##| ||_ \ aa / `8888888##| || \ `88P / _____ Y88888###| || \ =-'_.-' , \ Y88#####| || a/ ,'/ |`888####| ||^ _-'|/ 8888###| || _.-: | / d8888###| _ || __,.-| | | ,' d8888###| ( `\ ||"'| | | | ,' d8888####| ( ? ) || | | L.-' .d8888#####| (`,-' ||__|.J-' ,888888#####| _ o [] || _oo88888#######| ( )_ || d88888888#######| ( `\ .--. '-----------------------------' \\// ) ( )`") ____ |==| ___________________________________________ | ( ____ /__/| |J | | | ' `"' ` ' >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Late Friday I discovered how to reduce the MB size of my picture photos by almost 3/4ths without causing any noticeable change in their appearance! This was exciting to me as I do realize that folks with iPhones have a long wait for a picture page to load. However, using my graphic editor, it would take several tedious steps to accomplish this with each photo. I am not one for change concerning the programs I use. I don't like having to relearn how to do something all the time. I am so against it, that the two graphic editor programs I use are from the 90's! I puzzled over this prayerfully overnight on Friday and Father told me I should just look for a new graphic editor. Which I did on Saturday. I Googled it and went to PC Magazine's top Graphic Editor picks and was astonished to see a program that resembled the one I was using only with more stuff to it. I can easily handle that! So I found it and downloaded it. I was pleased to see it had the function I needed plus it made it a lot easier to do with only a few steps required. Yea God! I spent all day Saturday until around 7:00 at night editing my photos from this year. I am pleased to announce that I got all 1,981 of them done! I will be working on past years as well until I eventually am able to get them all done giving about 3 times faster load times. -<>- >-->From Our Friend Melody :) ___ _-"_-" _-_-" _-_-" _______________________-"-"_ \ / \ / mga .--_\______________________/_--. ""--------------------------"" Easy Stovetop Mac and Cheese - Jo Cooks http://tinyurl.com/z95uy66 --- ...Sweet! Thanks Melody! I am so addictive to the Kraft Mac&Cheese that I need their sauce packet to make it taste like Mac&Cheese. I always add Velveeta to it to make it more creamy, cheesy and yummy :) You inspired me to share one of my families favorite stove top macaroni recipes. You can find it under the Meals & Breads category here: Cheesy CHILI MAC http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _.-'`'-._ .-' _ '-. `-.__ `\_.-' | `-``\| jgs `-.....-A # # >Things Only Learned In College 1. Quarters are like gold. 2. Be creative in the dining hall. 3. Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc. 4. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket. 5. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night. 6. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry's, Ho-Hos and Oreos. 7. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries. 8. Duct tape heals all wounds (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.) 9. Showers become less important. 10. Sleep becomes more important. 11. Two meals a day are standard. One for some! 12. Recycling becomes synonymous with laundry ("Oh, my jeans can last until Christmas...there's only a *little* bit of mud on them"). 13. You can never make too many meals in a hot pot. 14. 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class (not that this is anything really new). 15. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before. 16. It takes more than one person to carry your laundry, books, trash, or alcohol. 17. If the lecture hall is big enough, get someone else's notes. 18. You begin to nap again (also not new). 19. Your bill in the bookstore will almost equal tuition. 20. Isn't it amazing that the book your professor wrote is always required for his class? 21. Labs used to be fun. 22. T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated. 23. Squirt guns equal stress relief. 24. E-mail becomes your second language. 25. Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies. 26. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they're a Godsend. 27. You never realized so many people are smarter than you. 28. You never realized so many people are dumber than you. 29. Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you. 30. Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you'd never know, but you could recite last week's episode of "Friends" verbatim. -<>- Right after World War II there was a shortage of hotel rooms in New York. After checking out, a man realized that he had left his umbrella in his room and went right back up to get it. As he reached the door he heard voices coming from inside. He peered through the keyhole and realized that the room had already been rented to someone. It turned out to be a young couple on their honeymoon. The woman was sitting on the man's lap and he was saying, "...and whose pretty little eyes are those?" "Yours, all yours," she would say. "...and whose pretty little nose is that..." "Yours, all yours...", and so on. After a little while, the man just couldn't stand it any more and he shouted out, "When you get to the umbrella, it's mine, all mine!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ September 5 is Labor Day September 6 is Fight Procrastination Day And Read a Book Day September 7 is National Salami Day and Neither Rain nor Snow Day September 8 is International Literacy Day, National Date Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day September 9 is Teddy Bear Day September 10 is Sewing Machine Day and Swap Ideas Day September 11 is 9/11 Remembrance, Eid-Ul-Adha, Grandparent's Day Make Your Bed Day, National Pet Memorial Day and No News is Good News Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _ |-| |~| |:| .'.'. / ::\ |_____| |:.:;.| |_____| | ::| | ;:| \_____/ pjb >Career Choice An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career. They decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table, and hid, pretending they're not home. The father's plan was: "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest - but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard." So, the parents waited nervously, hiding in the nearby closet. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Then, he grabbed the bottle, opened it and took a whiff, to get assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said: "Darn. Our son is going to be a politician!" -<>- >Tofu Recipes A well-dressed man approached a woman at a health food store and in a clipped British accent asked her exactly what she did with the tofu in her basket. She said she normally puts it in the refrigerator, looks at it for several weeks and then throws it away. The man replied, "That's exactly what my wife does with it. I was hoping you had a better recipe." -<>- >Dealing With an Attorney When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. "Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" asked the plaintiff's lawyer. "Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust," she responded. "And how did that turn out?" "I don't know," she said. "Ask me when I'm dead." -<>- >Lawsuit Deposition After she tripped and hurt herself, my sister filed a lawsuit. While she was being deposed, the opposing attorney asked, "Since your injury, is there anything you cannot do now that you did before the injury?" "Yes, I can't ride my bicycle anymore," she said. "And why is that?" "Because it has a flat tire." -<>- >Watching TV After my daughter sat glued to the TV set for most of the day, I told her, "Do you know that the average American spends more hours per day watching TV than the average Olympic athlete spends training?" She replied, "What's the point of all that training if no one's going to watch?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) .--. / \ ## a a _ ( '._) |_| |'-- | | | _.\___/_ ___|_|___ ."\> \Y/|<'. '._.-' / \ \_\/ / '-' / | --'\_/|/ | _/ |___.-' | |`'` | | | | / './ /__./` | | \ | | \ | | ; | | / | | jgs |___\_.\_ `-"--'---' >SMILES The telephone rang in the stately home of Lord Armstrong in North Yorkshire, England and his butler answered the call. ‘It’s me. Please go to my wife’s bedroom and tell her that I’ll be home late from the club.’ I’m sorry, Milord, her ladyship is already asleep.’ Then wake her and tell her, while I hold the ‘phone,’ the caller demanded. The telephone rang in the stately home of Lord Armstrong in North Yorkshire, England and his butler answered the call. ‘Yes, Sir,’ the butler replied. The butler returned and said, ‘My Lord, her ladyship is now in her room with a strange man I have never seen before." ‘Darn them! How could she do that to me?!? OK, here's what you do. Get my rifle, break down the door, and shoot them both.’ ‘Yes, Sir,’ the butler responded. He puts the phone down and after a short while 2 shots are clearly heard. A few minutes later, the butler returned to the phone and reported, ‘My Lord, I tried my best. I shot the man, but your wife dived out the window to the garden before I could shoot her as well.’ 'To the garden? What garden?’ The one adjacent to her room, my lord.’ Long pause. "Sorry about that, I think I have the wrong number." ------ After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and told him, "You were much better than the preacher we had last Sunday. He spoke for an hour and said nothing." "Thank you," the visiting preacher replied. "Yes," she continued. "You did it in fifteen minutes." -------- Mrs. McClarin called the undertaker aside for a private little talk. "Please be sure to fasten his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald," she confided, "and he'd never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they're through paying their last respects." "Rest assured, Mrs. McClarin," comforted the undertaker, "I'll fix it so that toupee will never come off." Sure enough, the day of the wake, the old-timers were giving McLarin's corpse quite a going-over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day a delighted Mrs. McClarin offered the undertaker an extra thousand dollars for handling the matter so 'professionally.' "Oh, I couldn't possibly accept your money," protested the undertaker. "After all...what's a few nails cost?" -------- "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!" -------- A man who was riding on a bus went up to the driver and whispered in his ear, "That man back there sitting across from us is scaring my wife and children to death. He's crazy! He claims he is George Washington." "Thanks for telling me, mister," the bus driver said. "I'll take care of him." At the next stop the driver shouted loud and clear, "This stop, Mt. Vernon." -------- Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mommy asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!" -------- Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who live in our community. In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age, people are asked the questions that give a snapshot look of their personalities. Recently one woman was asked, "What's the 'strangest' thing you ever bought?" She answered, "Dog toothpaste." Next question, "What is the 'most common' thing people say to you?" Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?" ------- A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "victims" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units. One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours. When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but this brief note: "Have bled to death and gone home." -------- Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler, but not being sure of the hotel rules I stopped at the door and asked the maid, "Can we drink beer on the beach?" "Sure," the maid replied, "but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first." -------- Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram and said, "yes" and goes on his way. Well, five minutes later he returned to the classroom and says to the teacher, "I can't find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Little Johnny to help him find the bathroom. So Little Johnny and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "Well, did you find it?" Little Johnny is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards." -------- At our local funeral home families are given the chance to chose the music they would like to enter the service. One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley's hit, "Love me Tender." The day of the funeral arrived and the music was ready and started for the family to walk into the service. Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the CD player! The family found themselves walking into Elvis singing, "Return to Sender." -------- "Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?" --- ...LOL! Such good ones! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Islamic Radical Tries to Take Down Plane, Passengers Have a Different Idea http://conservativetribune.com/radical-take-plane-passengers/ BREAKING: Obama Admin Caught Selling Chilling Weapon to Muslim Forces http://conservativetribune.com/obama-selling-weapon-muslim/ FBI Report Reveals Hillary Clinton's Criminal Recklessness Hillary Clinton was so oblivious to her duty to guard the nation’s secrets that she didn’t even realize that '(C)' in an e-mail header means 'confidential.' And that’s just one of the revelations in the FBI report on its investigation into her abuses. http://tinyurl.com/h4pt65l --- ...Amazingly she had a lapse of memory too! Amnesia or something! Over 30 times she said she couldn't recall! She couldn't even recall having been briefed on security polices! Let's see. She is in politics for 30 some years - American lawyer and politician who served as a U.S. senator (2001–09) and secretary of state (2009–13) in the administration of Pres. Barack Obama. IF SHE doesn't know our country's security policies then who in the administration does? We are DOOMED as a country! Might as well open our borders, let all the bad guys roam here freely, and openly display all our country's top secrets to our enemies! That was her way of doing things back then as Secretary of State. It was part of Hillary's job to oversee border security which she never did. And on top of her lack of intelligent handling of our country's security as Secretary of State, we find out she was selling favors to other countries [often our enemies] who donated millions to her Clinton Foundation so they could get some benefit from the US. She did this by using her power in the US State Department. With all that in mind, why should we expect her to do anything differently as President of The USA? Consider this too. It would cost $50 or less to hack Hillary's emails while working as Secretary of State since she used an insecure private server instead of adhering to policy and using the governments secure server. Hillary Clinton’s Email Was Probably Hacked, Experts Say http://tinyurl.com/zsvcerh The only logical reason to use her own server and then wipe them clean using a strong shredding tech program after she knew she was coming under FBI investigation was to hide her actions. Which we have learned was the Pay to Play billion dollar favor granting she was running. She claimed it was for convenience since she only wanted to use one iPhone but the FBI reported that was a lie. She had a total of 13 iPhones and 5 iPads during her time as Secretary of State. She deleted 33,000 of probably her most incriminating emails. Russia or China or some other country probably already had access to them by hacking into her unprotected private server. Also we've learned she had secret personal names in her emails so their protection too was at high risk due to her negligence. Think of this. If she is elected President any one who hacked her server and got these 33,000 emails she didn't want seen will have enormous leverage over her. Do we really want someone in office as the leader of our country who could be blackmailed by our enemies and has already been determined by the FBI to be a certified liar? I don't even understand how she is able to run for President. Wasn't Nixon impeached [he stepped down before official procedure] for far less corruption then what she has already done? He hid or deleted 8 mins. of tape and got him into the Watergate scandal: http://watergate.info/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: Police in New York, saved a man's life after he choked on drugs. The police officers in Buffalo, performed the Heimlich maneuver on the coking man, and he coughed up a bag of cocaine. Police said that officers Omar Rodriguez and Sean McCabe, were on patrol when they saw a man sitting outside a vacant house at about 6:00 p.m. Officers stopped to speak to 23-year-old Bryan Ramos. When they approached, Ramos placed what appeared to be a box of cigarettes in his mouth, according to an arrest report. Officers tried to stop him from swallowing the item, but Ramos resisted. Officers then used pepper spray to get him to the ground. Ramos began to have difficulty breathing and turned purple so McCabe quickly performed the Heimlich maneuver on him. Officers said that Ramos coughed up the cigarette package that contained a plastic bag of cocaine. Ramos was charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance, tampering with physical evidence, obstructing governmental administration, resisting arrest and trespassing. Ramos claimed that the drugs did not belong to him. He told police that his cousin asked him to hold the bag of cocaine for him. -<>- A Japanese fisherman called upon his martial arts skills after being attacked by a large bear near a local river. The 6-foot tall Asian black bear approached the man as he was fishing near the Jizo River. "At first glance it seemed like something was there, and it was a bear with an imposing stance. It came pouncing towards me when my eyes met the bear's," he told local news. "Its rounded ears were perfectly circular just like a teddy bear's, and its face was so huge." The 63-year-old man, who holds a black belt in Karate engaged with the bear and managed to fend off its attack. "The bear had such, such great strength. I was knocked over when it leapt at me. It scratched me and bit me. But in the end I managed to trick the bear, poked it in the eyes and it ran away," he said. Gunma police told the Japan Times they had received reports of bears in the area and discouraged residents from fighting back as the fisherman had done. "If you witness a bear, don't fight. Walk away quietly and report it to the police instead," an official said, The fisherman was able to bring himself to a nearby hospital where he was treated for minor injuries after receiving bite and claw marks on his body head and arms. *-- Facebook Photo Lands Florida Man in Jail --* A Florida man was arrested after using his own wanted poster as his Facebook profile picture. Stuart police tweeted a screen capture of Mack Yearwoodhe's Facebook picture featuring his 'Wanted of the Week' poster after he was arrested on Aug. 30. According to the Palm Beach Post, Stuart police used the photo to identify Yearwoodhe as a suspect in a reported disturbance on Monday and was arrested on outstanding warrants. Police located Yearhwoodhe on Tuesday and a bag of marijuana fell from his pants as he was being apprehended. He was wanted for violation of probation on two counts of battery and received an additional charge of possession of cannabis under 20 grams. *--------------- Poetic Justice ---------------* A man ended up destroying his own home by cutting down his neighbor's tree because it was ruining his car, according to police in Pennsylvania. Luzerne County police said that they have arrested 51-year-old Raymond Mazzarella, for beating his neighbor with a baseball bat after cutting down his neighbor's tree, which ended up falling on his own home. According to the police investigation, Mazzarella took a chainsaw and cut a tree in his neighbor's yard. Mazzarella complained that the tree's branches were over his car, and ruined it. When he cut the tree, it fell on a part of his own apartment building. Mazzarella was taken to a hospital. After he was released, he confronted a neighbor and punched him. The neighbor pulled a stun gun to protect himself. In response, Mazzarella hit him with a baseball bat. *------ World Gravy Wrestling Championship -----* More than 20 competitors gathered at a pub in England to battle each other in a pool of gravy for the World Gravy Wrestling Championships, because apparently wrestling in it is preferable to eating it, like much of British food. "The Weather is fine and the Gravy is wet," the World Gravy Wrestling Championships Facebook page wrote on the day of the event. "A Fun Family day filled with hilarious wrestling moves and costumes in a thick Lancashire Gravy." According to the BBC, hundreds of people watched as 16 men and eight women participated in two minute bouts inside a padded 14 foot by 13 foot pool to determine a champion. Event organizer Andy Holt said the competition is "harder than it looks" and admitted that the aim of the competition is not necessarily designed to determine the best fighter. "The points system is more about entertainment," he said. "It is crazy, but it is all about having fun and it is for a great cause." ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .-~-. .' '. / \ .-~-. : ; .' '.| | / \ : : ; .-~""~-,/ | /` `'. : | \ \ | / `. .' \ .' jgs `~~~` '-.____.-' A wife is scrambling eggs when her husband bursts into the kitchen. "Careful," he cries. "Careful! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Scramble them! Now! We need more butter. They're gonna stick! Careful! Now scramble them again! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!" The wife turns and asks, "What is wrong with you?" Her husband calmly replies, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving." -<>- Two buddies were getting dressed in the locker room after a workout, when the first man saw something that give him a bit of a shock. "How long have you been wearing that bra?" the man asked his friend. The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment." -<>- In the British documentary 56 Up, a man shared that he had earned a law degree at Oxford. Then, in his thick English accent, he proudly proclaimed that he was now a "barrister." My 13-year-old daughter wasn't impressed. "So," she said, "he spent all that effort getting an Oxford law degree, and now he works at Starbucks?" -<>- My wife is a very adventurous cook. "How does this sound?" she called out from the kitchen. "Bonito, surimi, and anchovies in a decadent, silky broth." "Sounds delicious," I hollered back. "Is that what we're having tonight?" "No. I'm reading from this packet of cat food." -<>- A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She had made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they had eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she had polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed. "What did he say when he found out?" one club member asked. "He never found out," she said. "I made another cake and ate half." -<>- One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" "University of Oklahoma," he yelled back. -<>- Suspecting he had a serious medical condition, I nagged my husband until he agreed to see a doctor. Once there, he was handed a mountain of forms to fill out. Next to "Reason for visit?" he wrote, "My wife made me." -<>- Nancy was Catholic, but her fiance, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions. At one meeting the priest turned to Chris and told him, "Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist." Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked what was wrong. "I don't understand," he said. "How can we have the ceremony without me?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) / .- |/,-'` _.-'''-._ /` __ __ `\ ___ ;__.--._.--.__; / /\ ( O / \ O ) `\ | _\/_ '-' '-' _/ _|_|' | (_) | / __) | | | __) | .___. | .-. _ | ___)'; /\.-./\ ; | | / | |~||/\ .\ `-` / __| |/ /_ | \_\/==;'._ - _.'__ (_ _) \ 8 /\"""""/\ `\ `| .'` '--8----.`-`\^/`-`. \ |~~| 8 | /~\ |`\ \ | | 8 | |\| | \ `y | jgs 8 | |\| | \ / 8 | |\| | '.__.' 8 |___|\|___| 8 |===\_/===| >GIGGLES Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. ------- 'Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died.' - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame ------- ARBITRATOR A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds. ------- The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I'm pretty sure she's going to get me something. ------- A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers raise concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care. "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills." Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. "Our nanny is a certified expert in pediatric care, welfare, and diet." The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?" "It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits in the cannon." ------- The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it. ------- 'A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.' - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame ------- PHARMACIST A helper on a farm. ------- Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly? ------- ! | | |~/ | _|~ .============.| (_| |~/ .-;____________;|. _|~ | [_________I__] | (_| | """"" (_) (_) | | .=====..=====. | | |:::::||:::::| | jgs | '=====''=====' | '----------------' He who laughs last thinks slowest. ------- 'I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.' - Bear Bryant / Alabama ------- BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage. ------- If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need ... not all this, "How did you get into my house?" business! ------- At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year- old baseball players aside And asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" "Yes, coach", replied the little boy. " Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse the umpire, or call him an a##hole. Do you understand all that?" Again, the little boy nodded in the affirmative. The coach continued, "And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not a dumb-a## decision or that the coach is a s###head is it?" "No, coach." "Good", said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.” ------- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. ------- Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... OMGosh, what have I just said?" ------- I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it. ------- 'There's one sure way to stop us from scoring---give us the ball near the goal line.' - Matty Bell / SMU ------- HEROES What a man in a boat does. ------- Denny's has a slogan, "If it's your birthday, the meal is on us." If you're in Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks! ------- Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” ------- The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient ------- o o | \ | \ | \.|-. (\| ) .==================. | .--------------. | | |::.::.::.::.::| | | |'::'::'::'::':| | | |::.::.::.::.::| | | |:'::'::'::'::'| | | |::.::.::.::.::| | | '--------------'o| | LI LI """"""" o| |==================| jgs | .------------. | | / \ | |/ \| " " 'If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, 'Roll, tide, roll!' - Bear Bryant / Alabama ------- BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through. ------- I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me. ------- Where there's a will, I want to be in it. ------- I went to the pub last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. "Good legs!" I said! The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 stitches... But, when you’re over sixty; who cares? ------- AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do. ------- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. ------- Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were. ------- The difference in women __ ___.' '.___ Libra- The Balance ____________ The first man married a woman that is a Libra. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. _ ' `:--.--. | | | Scorpius- The Scorpion | | | | | | .., `---': The second man married a woman that is a Scorpio. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table. Every day she spat in the meal she made for him and smile sweetly as she served it to him. _ ' `:--.--. | | |_ Virgo- The Virgin | | | ) | | |/ (J The third man married a woman that is a Virgo. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. Right away he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. She nitpicked on him every day to put his things away, turn off power to things and take his shoes off when entering the house. He had to help keep the house spotless or she would be on him constantly. .-. .-. (_ \ / _) Aries- The Ram | | The fourth man married a woman that is an Aries. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates. ------- RUBBERNECK What you do to relax your wife. ------- I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now ------- On average, an American man will make love two to three times a week. Whereas, a Japanese man will make love only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was married to a Japanese. ------- You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body. ------- Women sometimes make fools of men, but most blokes are the do- it- yourself type. ------- SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official. ------- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. ------- My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me. ------- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. ------- The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her To bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for Her. As The young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control Pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills? "Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in These that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and Patted the young Doctor's knee, "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks. Believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night." ------- Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” ------- PARADOX Two physicians. ------- I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. ------- I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women's clothing line named, " Sag Harbor ." ------- This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man. I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I had it all". I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage." I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?" "Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No. I got out of prison." ------- RELIEF What trees do in the spring. ------- The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list. ------- ,"=-. / _),`'". ( /a( ), ) ) C = = ?/ ( )) (_ o-< ) ( `-' \; ( \_ ( | \ ) )| \_/} \ \ \(_;/-|_) )/) `._,--/ / / `!__!! ( (_o)) ---`-._, )--- ------( / |---- | ( | :__/|\_; \ |/ )(\_ /_)--` gpyy \_! A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us." Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here." A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago! ------- Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.” ------- LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money. ------- We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public ------- What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick their noses? ------- Donald and Hillary Go into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, "See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie. I will definitely win the election.' The Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit! I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result." Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too. The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?" Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket"... ------- SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does. ------- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. ------- Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. ------- Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.” ------- COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. ------- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. ------- PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower. ------- WISE ITALIAN GRANDFATHER An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" "You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. " "Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!'"? ------- Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.” ------- Give me ambiguity or give me something else. ------- Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. ------- My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about the 175 pounds I've gained since then. ------- + | /\\ | || -----| |/\ / \ ------/ ^^ \ O O | || | | || | ------------- unknown Pastor Tom's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever Pastor Tom's family expanded; so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss Pastor Tom's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much Pastor Tom's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost. After listening to them for about an hour, Pastor Tom rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us." Silence fell over the congregation. In the back pew, a little old man struggled to stand, and finally said in his frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers." The entire congregation said, "Amen." --- ...LOL! Great! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) 9/11 And Troops INDEX! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/911andtroopsindex.html Cats Of The Zodiac http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/zodiaccats.html High Tech Toys http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys.html In Days Past http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dayspast.html Small Thoughts http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/smallthoughts.html Building Advertising Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildingads.html Flower Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerart.html Amazing Bus Stops http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bus.html Aww Animals 8 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals8.html Beautiful Bridges 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bridges2.html Humorous Ads http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humorad.html Jellyfish Lake http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jellyfish.html Morons At Work http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork.html Parenting No-No's 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/parenting3.html Toyger Mini Tiger http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/minitiger.html World's Fastest Cars! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/fastcars.html -<>- >Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Fun Pages http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559 -<>- >Follow Me On StumbleUpon: http://tinyurl.com/grh762w -<>- >In The News: http://rightalerts.com/ Standing Ovation Greets Trump After Sharing Bible Verse With Detroit Black Church http://tinyurl.com/hslpr6f -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) WWII aircraft photos - many very rare. http://tinyurl.com/cgckoav RARE AS THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT MADE US A GREAT NATION. --- ...Exactly! Thanks PatDeE -<>- >From our Friend Melody :) Today’s Front Pages | Newseum http://www.newseum.com/todaysfrontpages/ You Are My Sunshine - 66 Years In Love Caught On Film. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdWTh_GH58k --- ...Aww, So Sweet! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend KarenF :) Flying Over America http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=KcuDdPo0WZk --- ...WOW! Most Beautiful! Thanks KarenF! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Never leave this escape artist unattended! No lock can hold it. Chamallow the cat became the unofficial mascot of one French veterinarian clinic after repeated breakouts from supposedly secure kennels. That's when the vet used a hidden camera to capture its method on tape. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=J1wS8z3R62Q It happened, appropriately enough, on the Italian version of "The Voice." If this vocal performance doesn't simply amaze you, you'll have to get your ears checked! And then you can watch all the glamorous Italian rock stars try to get the nun on their team! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpaQYSd75Ak&feature=player_embedded Here are some penguins that are pretty jealous of their flighted cousins right about now. There's something delightful about watching them struggle to get across a rope on their beach. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYXCC9o1zuw&feature=player_embedded --- ...Awww, Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The CEO of Wendy's says the election is hurting the chain's burger sales - people are spending less because they are worried about the future. Let's be honest, if you're eating a Wendy's Baconator, you're probably not too concerned about the future." -Jimmy Fallon "Mylan, the company that produces these EpiPens, have jacked up the price of these pens for less than $100 for a pair, to over $600. That price is enough to send you into shock, but don't do it because you can't afford the pen anymore." -Stephen Colbert "It was reported this week that scientists from the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence or SETI have detected a signal from a distant star, and they think it could be proof of alien life. Scientists say this could be the sign of a highly advanced alien civilization. While the aliens say, 'We attack at dawn.'" -James Corden "Astronaut Jeffrey Williams just set the U.S. record for most days in space, reaching the milestone of 521 days. It's less of an accomplishment after NASA admitted they sort of forgot he was up there." -Jimmy Fallon "A man in Ireland has created a working Batman outfit with 23 different features. So now he just has to sit back and wait for somebody to murder his parents." -Seth Meyers "A developer in New York wants to build an IHOP on top of a Revolutionary War cemetery. IHOP's CEO said, 'It makes sense, we've killed more Americans than the British ever did.'" -Conan O'Brien "McDonald's has decided to remove fitness trackers from their Happy Meals. Apparently, many customers thought McDonald's was just making fun of them." -Conan O'Brien "There's a new report that says that the sales of canned wine are on the rise. Finally, people that drink boxed wines have someone to look down on." -Jimmy Fallon "The FBI is investigating whether Russian intelligence agencies have hacked the computers at The New York Times, or as the Times reported it, 'Putin named world's s#xiest leader.'" -Stephen Colbert "In Oregon, a number of brewers are competing to turn sewer water into beer. The brewer said, 'Hey, if Bud Light can do it, we can do it.'" -Conan O'Brien "A family cleaning out their grandparents' attic in Florida found a wooden box containing a mummified pirate's hand on a map with gold coins. A treasure chest full of gold pirate coins may be cool, but do you know what I have in my attic? Family heirlooms and pictures of all my loved ones - and isn't that the real treasure? No, no it isn't. The real treasure is a treasure chest full of gold pirate coins." -James Corden "According to a list by 'Business Insider,' Washington University in St. Louis is the college with the best food. While the college with the worst food is the Olive Garden's culinary institute." -Seth Meyers >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************