Happy Leap Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ H A P P Y L E A P D A Y ! :) o /_o ."/" .|/o =;---, ," - ; ." ' @,' o_,o ,-' '.|_,--"/ __ ,-' ."|_,--""\ ,-"._'""''--;" _.-" " o ,-",-" "'--; .;,._,-" o_ _____.,-I-'" / ." o---/i,.---'" ;'." /\ o o __.,-" ;" /\\ ;-'____,"' \\ .'."'" \\ o_-'.' \\ o//" \\ o o \\-----------------------------------------------------+ \\ /| \\ / | \\_________________________. / | \ //n /n / | \\ // u / u / / \\ // u / u / / \\ // u====================/ u / /| \\// // / / / / | \/___//___________________/ / / / | n ___ __ ___ __ _ _ n / / / | U |__ |_) | | / _ \ / U / :F_P: / / | U | | \ |__| \_/ | U / / /| | U_________________________U/ / / | | / / | | >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first piping hot new page is a compilation from forwards from our friends Melinda, LouiseA, Karen, Geniann, Brenda and PatDeE. It is sure to tickle your funny bone and give you big smiles for your day. Give it time to load and check it out here... I am not a Liar! \ \ , | , \ / ,,_--_, \./ ,// _ _\ \./ ;;\ // x x /;;; \ \ | _\ / / \ \ \ o / / / \ `-'\__/-' / \ \/ / | /\ | | |//|| | \/ | .--'-----'-----. /| | / | | | | ,d888b, | | | J8888888L | :F_P: | | 888888888 | Humor in Politics 13! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics13.html --- ...LOL! Some good ones here! Thanks my friends! Our Next Scorching hot new page is from our friends Linda and Geniann. This is one of those jaw dropping ones! You won't believe your eyes after you see this artist's amazing paintings! Gather the kids around and check out this stunning page here... /^\ ___ /^\ //^\(o o)/^\\ /'<^~``~''~^>`\ Ts97 Stefan Pabst 3D Paintings! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/3dpaintings.html --- ...Wow! Loved this and so did the grandkids! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ "Hey Jonnie what are you doing sitting up in bed?" "I was saying my prayers, dad." "I didn't hear you say anything." "I wasn't talking to you." -<>- Cool teenage Martian: "I was at a party on Mercury last night." His friend: "Was it any good?" Cool teenage Martian: "No! It was really boring." His friend: "How come?" Cool teenage Martian: "There was no atmosphere." -<>- There was a blond, brunette, and a red head, and they all decided to go camping. They needed food so the redhead walked out into the forest, and two hours later came back with a rabbit over her shoulder. The other two girls asked her, "How did you catch that?" She replied, "See tracks, follow tracks, see rabbit, kill rabbit." So they ate that for dinner. The next day they needed food so the brunette walked out into the forest, and two hours later came back with a deer over her shoulder. The other two girls asked her, "How did you catch that?" She replied, "See tracks, follow tracks, see deer, kill deer." So they ate that for dinner. The next day they needed food again so the blonde walked out into the forest, and two hours later came back limping all bruised, black and blue with torn clothes. The other two girls asked her, "What happened to you?" She replied, "See tracks, follow tracks, see train, get hit by train." -<>- "Do you sing?" "Of course I do." "What kind of music?" "Aquapella." "Don't you mean 'a cappella', singing without accompaniment?" "Nope. I mean 'aquapella', singing accompanied only by the water coming out of the shower head." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 29 is Leap Day - it occurs in 2016, once every four years March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lovers' Day March 2 is Old Stuff Day March 3 is I Want You to be Happy Day and If Pets Had Thumbs Day March 4 is Employee Appreciation Day and Hug a GI Day March 5 is Multiple Personality Day March 6 is Dentist's Day and National Frozen Food Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: >Locked Out I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, they might. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk." -<>- >Medical History Mikey and his mother were in the doctor's office for his pre-school physical. The receptionist, completing his medical history, asked, "What is your birthdate?" "February 25," Mikey answered. "What year?" the receptionist asked. "Every year," was Mikey's matter-of-fact reply. -<>- >Is the Iron On? A wife was always paranoid that she had left the iron on. Every time they tried to take off to go somewhere, she was convinced she'd left the iron on, and the husband always had to turn around so they could go back and make sure it was off. Except on this trip. When the wife started saying she might have left the iron on, her husband just smiled and said, "Don't worry, you didn't." She kept getting more frantic and saying she really might have left it on, but he just kept smiling and saying, "Don't worry, you didn't." "How can you be so sure?!?" He smiled again, reached into the back seat, and brought out the iron. -<>- >Dinner Choice Dad: What do you boys want for dinner tonight? 8-year old son: Can we have McDonald's tonight? Dad: Sure. If you can spell that, then we'll have it. Son: (after thinking for a few seconds) Can we get KFC instead? ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) _._ _.-*""*-._ _._ .' `*. .*' `. . .@*" ; : "*@. . ` ' .' `. ` ' /`..-' `-..'\ . . .*" "*. ' '\`*-._ _.-*'/` ` : ` \ :`*----*'; / ' ; . \ `-.__.-' / . `. `. .' .' [bug] `. `. .' .' `-. `*--*' .-' `*-.__.-*' >SMILES A gentleman reported the following:* "I had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, Laptop, TV, DVD, IPad and my new surround sound music system were all shut down. Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat. To top it off, it was raining so I couldn't go for a walk, bike or run. The garage door opener needs electricity so I couldn't go anywhere in the car. I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remember that this also needed power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a few hours. She seems like a nice person. -------- There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him. An angel hears his plea and appears to him, "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed. Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. Seeing the suitcase Peter says, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!" But the man explains to him that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough,. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through." Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought pavement?!?!" -------- Once at the time of the world war, the Germans were looting all villages, of food, wine and women. Before they could enter one such village, the villagers decide to scoot, except for one young man, who had a frail 90 year old grandmother. So the soldiers found that one occupied house and tore inside, "Bring us some food." The young man said, "But I have only half a loaf of bread." "War is War, bring us the food." So he gives his last morsel of food. "Bring us some wine." "But I doubt if there is any in the house, you know how things are these days!" "War is War, bring us the wine." So the young man manages half a bottle and gives it to them. "Now, bring us a woman." "But everyone has left the village. The only female present here is my 90 year old grandmother!!" "War is War, bring her to us." The old woman is brought and she's so weak that the soldiers decide against it and say, "We'll let you off this time." "Hey, wait a minute," shouts Granny. "War is War!!" ------- An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about love?' he asked, rather tentatively. 'I would like it infrequently' she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?' ------- After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a warehouse. But one day he lost control of a forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said he'd have to withhold 10 percent of Uncle Joe's wages to pay for the repairs. "How much will it cost?" asked my uncle. "About $4,500," said the owner. "What a relief!" exclaimed Uncle Joe. "I've finally got job security!" -------- We had built our dream house some years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them. Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway. "Finally!" I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house. "I've been waiting twelve years for this!" "Don't blame me, lady," he said. "I just got the order this morning." -------- The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word -- ever. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "Soup's cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you've never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything's been okay." -------- "Now, son," the farmer said to the new farmhand. "Are you sure you know just how long cows should be milked?" "Yep," said the hired help. "Just the same as short ones." ------- >Pondering Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there's not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day without "special deals" on cars? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator hoping that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? Why do we try to keep the house as warm in winter as it was when we complained about the heat in summer? --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Melinda :) /|\ J J|L L L J | L J L L | J J _.--J J | L L--._ .' n| ] | [ |n `. [ n| L | J |n ] |`. `--n|__n__|n--' .'| AsH `. `-._ _.-' .' `-._ "`---------'" _.-' "`-----------'" >Tips: Did you know adding a LITTLE something to your water can go a LONG way? I’m not talking about ice. If you’ve gone to the gym recently or maybe eaten out at some restaurants you might have seen lemon or cucumber water. Both have big benefits to your body. But which one is more valuable to your health? Let’s take a look and both and see who wins this battle. Lemons are more packed with nutrients than a clown car. From vitamin C, B-complex vitamins, calcium, iron, magnesium, fiber. And they actually contain more potassium than apples or grapes! The 7 Benefits of Lemon: 1. Gives your immune system a boost. Vitamin C is like our immune system’s battery, and lemon juice is full of it. And If I haven’t said so before, I will again. Vitamin C is hugely important. The level of it in your system is one of the first things to plummet when you’re stressed, which is why I recommend popping extra vitamin C during especially stressful days. 2. Excellent source of potassium. As already mentioned, lemons are high in potassium, which is good for heart health, as well as brain and nerve function. 3. Aids in digestion. Lemon juice not only encourages healthy digestion it helps to relieve symptoms of indigestion like heartburn. 4. Cleanses your system. It helps flush out the toxins in your body by enhancing enzyme function, stimulating your liver. 5. Freshens your breath. That’s right. A little lemon goes a long way so remember that the next time you have your presentation or need to be up at the podium. 6. Keeps your skin blemish-free. The antioxidants in lemon juice help to not only decrease blemishes, but wrinkles too! Because it helps detoxify your blood, it will maintain your skin’s radiance. 7. Helps you lose weight. Lemons contain pectin fiber, which assists in fighting hunger cravings. Lemon water is a great to way to curb your appetite. . | . \ | / `. \ ' / .' `. .-*""*-. .' "*-._ /.*" "*.\ _.-*" : ; ____ """"': .. ; _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._ .' `-.__.-' `. bug .' / . \ `. / | \ ' | ` The 7 Benefits of Cucumber: 1. Keeps you hydrated. If you are too busy to drink enough water, munch on the cool cucumber, which is 96 percent water. It will cheerfully compensate! And obviously they taste better than eating a lemon. 2. Fights heartburn. Cucumbers can actually do wonders to sooth heartburn and that nasty unexpected indigestion. 3. Keep the heat down. If you got a little too much sun you can apply cucumber on your skin, and you get relief from that itchy sunburn. Speaking of sunburn, please stay out of those tanning salons! UV light is terrible for your skin and not worth the long-term effects studies show they can have causing harm to your skin... I digress, I’m sorry. But I’m always looking out for you! 4. Flushes out toxins. All that water in cucumber acts as a virtual broom, sweeping waste products out of your system. With regular use, cucumber is known to dissolve any unwanted bad things in our kidneys. 5. Lavishes you with vitamins. Cucumber will definitely boost your immunity, And help give you energy, and keep you radiant. Not to mention its skin-friendly minerals. That’s why cucumber-based treatments abound in SPAS! 6. Revives the eyes. Placing chilled slices of cucumber on the eyes is a clichéd beauty visual, but it really helps reduce under-eye bags and puffiness. 7. Fights against Cancer. Believe it or not, cucumbers have cancer-fighting potential which is plenty of reason to eat or drink it whenever we have the chance. So who wins the battle of the cucumber vs. the lemon? IT’S TOO CLOSE TO TELL! Both are very good for you and both are excellent sources of minerals. The truth is, we can’t always get to a spa or a gym or fancy restaurant but it's very easy to add a little lemon or cucumber next time you stop to quench your thirst. --- ...Great Tips! Thanks Melinda! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Ted Cruz looses all credibility by doubling down on his campaign lies the Media calls 'dirty tricks' in interview with Fox: http://tinyurl.com/j677oca -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) U.S. Should Call ISIS Actions Genocide http://tinyurl.com/ztjtoca --- ...yeah, thanks Melinda! -<>- >From BizarreNews: It's the oldest trick in the book. A cop fakes emergency calls so he can have S with his girlfriend in his squad car without his wife finding out about it. Okay, maybe not THE oldest. A Florida police officer in is under fire after posting ads on Craigslist, looking for women to have S with a "uniformed officer in his patrol car." Officer Kevin Thompson of Lady Lake, resigned after pictures surfaced, showing him pleasuring himself in his patrol car while he was in uniform. Thompson, who is married, responded to the Craigslist ad of the 38-year-old woman about four months ago, and the two began meeting while the officer was on duty. Thompson allegedly put out false patrol alerts so that he could hang out with the woman while on duty. During one of the visits, the woman came to his patrol car and saw the officer pleasuring himself while holding a pair of her underwear. She told police that she took about 15 photos of the officer's actions. That was his big mistake. Never let your girlfriend take photos of you jerking off while wearing her panties. Even civilians know what one. The woman told deputies that she did not know that Thompson was married when the affair began. When she learned that he had a wife, the officer promised to leave his wife and live with her, according to police. That did not happen. After he tried to break up with her, the woman told officers that she threatened to tell Thompson's wife about the affair and to show her the pictures of him pleasuring himself in his car. Thompson then sent her threatening texts messages, saying that if she did so, he will see to it that her daughters are taken away from her and she will be arrested for threatening a police officer, according to the police report. Thompson resigned the day after the allegations were made public. *-------------- Minnesota Takes Bus to Work --------------* A man was arrested on a charge of theft after allegedly stealing a public transportation bus because he wanted to get to work, police in Minnesota said. The Hennepin County Sheriff's Office said that they have arrested 31-year-old Gregory John Jennrich, after being accused of taking the Metro Transit bus that was parked at a gas station and driving it to work. Jennrich was charged with theft. If convicted, he faces up to five years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000. According to the police investigation, the operator of the bus was on a break at the Holiday gas station, when the bus was stolen. *-- Naked woman goes on rampage through Waffle House --* What is it with naked women this week? A woman is facing several charges after going on a rampage at a Waffle House restaurant in Georgia, all while completely naked. According to police, the woman, identified as Jennifer Nicholson, stripped off her clothes, punched a woman in the face and then threw a plate at a window. She also threw several platters at patrons of the restaurant. When police tried to subdue Nicholson, she fought back. The woman who was punched sustained a broken nose in the attack, according to police. Nicholson is facing several assault and public indecency charges. *-- Customer pays at drive-through with cash, heroin --* Indiana police said a man paying for his McDonald's food handed a bag of heroin to a drive-through worker along with his money. The police report of the incident said an employee at the McDonald's in LaPorte took money from a male driver who appeared intoxicated and she sorted the bills to discover a green plastic baggie containing a "rock-like substance." Police said the substance "appeared to be heroin" and later testing confirmed the presence of the drug. Police said the man likely handed over the heroin by accident. "It shows you how significant the problem is here that we're battling," Metro Operations Coordinator Harlan Williams said. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) || || || || || || || || || || ____ || .-' '-. || | | || '-.____.-' || (o)(o) | | ==== / .. )___ | | //##\\ \____ \ '-_ | | -------///||\\\----------\ ___ '.---| |-------- |||||||||| //\// \\`.\'. | | bni |||||||||| =' //'--\\__). '-.____.-' |||||||||| =' =' >This Is Why There Are No Jobs in America By Porter Stansberry I'd like to make you a business offer. Seriously. This is a real offer. In fact, you really can't turn me down, as you'll come to understand in a moment... Here's the deal. You're going to start a business or expand the one you've got now. It doesn't really matter what you do or what you're going to do. I'll partner with you no matter what business you're in - as long as it's legal. But I can't give you any capital - you have to come up with that on your own. I won't give you any labor - that's definitely up to you. What I will do, however, is demand you follow all sorts of rules about what products and services you can offer, how much (and how often) you pay your employees, and where and when you're allowed to operate your business. That's my role in the affair - to tell you what to do. Now in return for my rules, I'm going to take roughly half of whatever you make in the business each year. Half seems fair, doesn't it? I think so. Of course, that's half of your profits. You're also going to have to pay me about 12% of whatever you decide to pay your employees because you've got to cover my expenses for promulgating all of the rules about who you can employ, when, where, and how. Come on, you're my partner. It's only "fair." Now... after you've put your hard-earned savings at risk to start this business, and after you've worked hard at it for a few decades (paying me my 50% or a bit more along the way each year), you might decide you'd like to cash out - to finally live the good life. Whether or not this is "fair" - some people never can afford to retire - is a different argument. As your partner, I'm happy for you to sell whenever you'd like... because our agreement says, if you sell, you have to pay me an additional 20% of whatever the capitalized value of the business is at that time. I know... I know... you put up all the original capital. You took all the risks. You put in all of the labor. That's all true. But I've done my part, too. I've collected 50% of the profits each year. And I've always come up with more rules for you to follow each year. Therefore, I deserve another, final 20% slice of the business. Oh... and one more thing... Even after you've sold the business and paid all of my fees... I'd recommend buying lots of life insurance. You see, even after you've been retired for years, when you die, you'll have to pay me 50% of whatever your estate is worth. After all, I've got lots of partners and not all of them are as successful as you and your family. We don't think it's "fair" for your kids to have such a big advantage. But if you buy enough life insurance, you can finance this expense for your children. All in all, if you're a very successful entrepreneur... if you're one of the rare, lucky, and hard-working people who can create a new company, employ lots of people, and satisfy the public... you'll end up paying me more than 75% of your income over your life. Thanks so much. I'm sure you'll think my offer is reasonable and happily partner with me... but it doesn't really matter how you feel about it because if you ever try to stiff me - or cheat me on any of my fees or rules - I'll break down your door in the middle of the night, threaten you and your family with heavy, automatic weapons, and throw you in jail. That's how civil society is supposed to work, right? This is America, isn't it? That's the offer America gives its entrepreneurs. And the idiots in Washington wonder why there are no new jobs... -<>- / \ _(I)(I)_ ( _ .. _ ) `.`--'.' ) ( ,-./ \,-. ( _( || || )_ ) __\ \\||--||'/ /__ hjw `-._//||\/||\\_.-' `--'`--' >These are sentences exactly as typed by medical secretaries in NHS 1. The patient has no previous history of suicide. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. 27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. 28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. 29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. For the sake of your health - stay away from hospital !!! --- ...My oh My! LOL! Thanks PatDeE! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: o o o o |\/ \^/ \/| |,-------.| ,-.(|) (|),-. I LOVE Leap Day! \_*._ ' '_.* _/ /`-.`--' .-'\ ,--./ `---' \,--. \ |( ) ( )| / hjw \ | || || | / `97 \ | /|\ /|\ | / / \-._ _,-/ \ //| \\ `---' // |\\ /,-.,-.\ /,-.,-.\ o o o o o o A 17-year-old girl came home with five job applications. She carefully filled them out, and later asked her mother to look them over. All the answers were clear and concise and she noticed that on all five applications, under "Previous Employment", she had listed "Baby-sitting". But then she read, under "Reason for Leaving" her daughter had answered, "Parents came home." -<>- A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things." The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'" The first woman asked, "Did it help?" Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since." -<>- Some of my friends started a company built around an innovative idea for an online business. A debate broke out about what to name the venture. "We have to call it Imagination," one passionate participant cried out. Everyone thought the idea over for a minute, and then a voice of reason replied, "Are you sure you want your business card to read 'Imagination, Limited'?" -<>- Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O'Hare airport in Chicago. Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued each passenger a $10 meal ticket, or "chit." That evening after dinner I presented my meal ticket to the cashier. "Is this chit worth $10?" I asked. Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, "I'm sorry, sir. Was the meal that bad?" -<>- The district attorney was cross-examining the murderess on the witness stand. "And so after you had poisoned the coffee and your husband sat at the breakfast table partaking of the fatal dosage, didn't you feel any qualms? Didn't you feel the slightest pity for him knowing that he was about to die and was wholly unconscious of it?" "Yes," she answered. "Come to thik of it...there was just a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him." "And, when was that?" "When he asked for the second cup." -<>- My children have never been thrilled about taking naps, but one day they were putting up more of a fuss than usual. In the middle of the tantrums, a friend called. "What's all the commotion over there?" she asked. "Oh, nothing," I said. "Just the siesta resistance." -<>- A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter "R" and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare." In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing at him - then replied, "Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough." -<>- >Physics 101 Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 Knot-furlong 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds 10 cards: 1 decacards 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin 10 rations: 1 decoration 8 nickels: 2 paradigms 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Here's Your Frog!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html A Little Froggy!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frogart.html Silly Veggies!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/veggies.html Menu Bloopers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menubloopers.html Eye Catching Humor!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eyecatching.html Sweets For The Sweet!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sugar.html Life's Little Oops 12!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops12.html Redneck Innovations!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/redneckinnovations.html Fairy Garden Pot Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/potart.html Arrows Across America!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/arrows.html Amazing Athlete Homes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/athletehomes.html Buildings In Camouflage!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buildingshiding.html Brilliant Women Inventors!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womeninventors.html Amazing Human Progress 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanprogress2.html Growing Fruits And Veggies!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fruitsandveggies.html -<>- >Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Fun Pages http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559 -<>- >ALERT From The TeaParty: Fellow Conservative, With Super Tuesday being tomorrow! We need immediate input on the Tea Party's preferred candidate for 2016. Please register your vote by midnight tonight by selecting one of the candidates below. Donald J. Trump: http://mail.geniusmailer.com/c/1m7cJh1BmQ70xxlvWWxjAok Senator Marco Rubio: http://mail.geniusmailer.com/c/1m7eM0NZjqKrGD532gHqeFN Senator Ted Cruz: http://mail.geniusmailer.com/c/1m7iRumLcC1jYOy7cV1DxeJ Sincerely, National Tea Party Alert P.S. You can read more from National Tea Party Alert by clicking here http://mail.geniusmailer.com/c/1m7kUe999cEL7UhEifbKbwc. You can also follow us on Facebook by clicking here http://mail.geniusmailer.com/c/1m7mWXVx5Nich01bnzlQPNF. -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Top Soviet-bloc defector: Marxism infecting U.S. http://www.wnd.com/2012/06/top-soviet-bloc-defector-marxism-infecting-u-s/ Where's The Outrage Over CHRISTIANS Being Killed? | CNSNews.com http://cnsnews.com/blog/pete-winn/wheres-outrage-over-christians-being-killed The Beauriful Friesian Horse http://tinyurl.com/jkut2jm --- ...Absolutely stunning! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Irish Dance, St.Patrick day - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6LMga4R0tc Timelapse: Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8YaMK4-MYg --- ...Wowsers! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) The Story Behind The White Guy In This Historic Photo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4LvwXYmt3Q&feature=em-share_video_user What happens when my wife leaves me alone with our baby https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVWt4cQVFTU&feature=em-share_video_user Klatovy Catacomb Mummies http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/klatovy-catacomb-mummies Venus Flytraps Are Even Creepier Than We Thought http://tinyurl.com/z8l75qw --- ...Yep, but cool too! Thanks Melinda! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Take a trip down memory lane to the 1950's as you view these nostalgic photos and listen to "Lost in the Fifties Tonight (In the Still of the Night)" by Ronnie Milsap. Those that grew up in the 1950's have many fond memories of the good times they enjoyed and for the rest of us we can enjoy the great music and classic cars from that era. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7OlEcN-VgQA "Lost In The Fifties" is a look back at life in the 1950's that was such a memorable decade for those that lived it. Many people have fond memories of the cars, music, and icons of the Fifties but the decade was also marked by not so fond memories like The Korean War, racism and McCarthyism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjj9VKKSV2g Eating out at a restaurant, going to a fancy show and dancing the night away... Sounds like the perfect date right? Not when Mr. Bean is involved! Watch what happens as he goes on stage with a magician and later puts on his dancing shoes. Going out on a date has never been so funny! https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=31A5-ThrllI This young couple from the Ukraine amazes and enchants the audience of the French TV show 'The Worlds's Greatest Cabaret'. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJxxHvWwQBw&feature=player_embedded --- ...HaHa! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Government regulators have released a new statement saying that no hover board scooter currently on the market meets proper safety standards. The other thing hover board scooters don't meet: women." -Seth Meyers "A new study from the University of SusS found that horses can recognize human emotions based on our facial expressions. Yet another reason you should never play poker with a horse -- and they never pitch in for the pizza." -Stephen Colbert "Starbucks is going to start carrying coconut milk. If you want to stay competitive in the coffee business you've got to consistently provide your customers with new ways to make their orders more annoying." -Jimmy Kimmel "I admit that I get angry in traffic when driving to work. But it's pointless. It's much better to bottle up that anger and then unleash it when you get to work." -Craig Ferguson "A new study found that our happiness peaks in our late 80s. Mainly because all the people who annoyed you are dead by then." -Jimmy Fallon "A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel "A Florida man was arrested for throwing potato salad at a nail salon. During his arrest, he said, 'I've been drinking and taking Xanax. What do you expect me to do?' Well, not that, although I do sympathize. When I was trying to give up carbs, I once threw a bowl of spaghetti at a karate studio." -James Corden "A company is developing an elevator that can take you into space. Don't you hate it when you're going to Jupiter and someone gets on the elevator and presses 'Mars'?" -Conan O'Brien "A New Jersey restaurant is offering a special menu this month that doesn't list prices, but instead asks customers to pay what they think is fair. According to the sign in the window, the restaurant is called 'This Space for Rent.'" -Seth Meyers "China this weekend formally replaced its one-child policy with a new law allowing two children per family. That way, families will have one child to play with, while the other one's at work." -Seth Meyers "A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names." -Conan O'Brien "A man in London just took Uber's one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a year's worth of free rides. The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************