Happy MLK, Jr. Day ... :) Shangy!

>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:

To Subscribe send a blank email to
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Group home page:
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or Web Site:
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Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net

             ==================

>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)

      HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY!!

I hope all of you had a wonderful day today. Hopefully
you took a moment to reflect on this great man that we
set up a day to give tribute to. I have much respect
for Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a true man of God that
tried to do what was right in the eyes of God by teaching
and challenging all people to come together and thank God
for their life. He did God's Will and taught God's Word!

         ____                                               ____
|       / +  \         ||                       ||         /+ . \
|       |o x.|        =**=          _          =**=        | o x|
|       |____|         ||         _( )_         ||         |____|
|                      ||        /_____\        ||
|                 ______________//|   |/__________________
|_______^________/                | + |                  /__
       _U_      /                 |___|                 //  
        |      /_______________________________________//  
       /|\     |______________________________________|/  

He asked people to look beyond the outer layer of a person 
and look to their inner self. The heart of a person. Their
true character and judge them accordingly. He paid the 
price for his devotion to God, and to his dreams. 

1 John 3:1-3
"Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, 
that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world
knoweth us not, because it knew him not.

Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear 
what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we 
shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.

And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, 
even as he is pure." 

Those of us who are Christian understand what Martin Luther
King, Jr. was all about. God's children are not defined by
how they look on the outside. God's children - our family -
is made up of all nationalities and races from all ages.
God doesn't care what color a person's skin is or his or her
race or nationality. 

When Christ returns, we will be together as one family and
we will see Christ as He really is. Believe you me, when that
day comes, people are not going to care about the color of 
Jesus skin or think about his nationality or heritage. All
that will matter is that He is of God Almighty and we share
that bond with Him! 

For we know NOW Are We The Sons the God! Praise God! 
                                 !
                               .':'.
                             .':::::'.
                           .':::::::::'.
                         .':::::::::::::'.
                           ||    %    ||
                           ||   .-.   ||
                           ||  /   \  ||
                           || /_____\ ||
                           ||    O    ||
                         .'||_________||'.
                       .' .'"^"^"^"^"^"'. '.
                     .' .'"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"'. '.
                   .' .'"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"'. '.
                 .'_.'"^"^"^"^"^"."^"^"^"^"^"'._'.

We can look back at the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. and 
know he knew God's heart and simply was trying to let others
see it too.  

-<>-

On The light side, I won't be able to attend as Dr. Phil puts
it 'the world's largest party' tomorrow. Yeah, darn. As luck 

   .-------------.       .    .   *       *   
  /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ \         *       .   )    .
 //_/_/_/_/_/_// _ \ __          .        .   
/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/|/ \.' .`-o                    
 |             ||-'(/ ,--'                    
 |             ||  _ |                        
 |             ||'' ||                        
 |_____________|| |_|L                     hjm

would have it, I've got a dog that I've just got to help take
care of tomorrow. So, I'll be way too busy and all. But, I 
plan on making it to the world's NEXT largest party - for sure! 
You know - the one where He returns as Lord of Lords and King 
of Kings! I wouldn't miss that for nothing! 

See you all there! OK? :)

-<>-
       ,,,        _,_        _@_        _(_        _?_     
     _/. .\_    _/- -\_    _/, ,\_    _/' '\_    _/a a\_   
    (.\_o_/.)  (.\_-_/.)  (,\_e_/')  (.\_^_/.)  (.\_~_/')  
    (.`,.`'.') (.`,.'.'.) (.`'.,'.') ('.,'.`'.) (.'.,'.`.) 
     ('.`,'`,)  ('.`,'',)  ('.','.`)  ('.,'.',)  ('.,'.`.) 
      ('.`,'`)   ('.','`)   (.'.,'.)   ('.`.,')   ('.','') 
   jgs `--'"`     `--'"`     `--'"`     `--'"'     `--'"'  
'
Believe it or not, Sunday was "National Sanctity of Human
Life Day". Check it out here...
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=387646

Yea, I could hardly believe it when I saw it too! Why? Because
the US people don't seem to give much of a hoot about human
life with the soon to be taking office President elect Barack
Obama. He has been openly for planned parenthood which of
course is all about pro choice which of course is all about
taking human life via abortion. Which of course, to me,
doesn't spell 'sanctifying' human life. So, of course, I was
surprised to see this from OneNewsNow today.

It is good to value life. Think about it. All life is precious.
Anyone can kill and destroy. There is nothing special about the
person who kills. Now if you could create life - then you would
be doing something very special. I am talking the biblical
create - making something out of nothing at all. Can any one of
us do that? No. Why? Because we are not God the creator! Only
God can make something out of nothing at all. Life therefore is
to be valued as something most precious. Why? BECAUSE WE CANNOT
Re-Create that individual life any more - once it is gone, it
is gone forever!

If DNA science has taught us anything, it should be how very
unique and precious life is! Sure, we can clone life, but we
all know that while we may have close to the same, we will
never have the absolutely same due to environment influence
etc. on life as well as the DNA makeup.

You are a most unique individual - but it is not just you - all
of God's creation is very unique, one of a kind, and special.
To be highly regarded and valued. You cannot replace any one
with another. They will not be the same. Maybe close but
certainly not the same. God intended this and achieved this
uniqueness to awe us and win our praise. He could of easily
made things replicate and cloned them but He took it to the
next level to give us the spice of life. The fun, the challenge,
and the greatness of different. A uniqueness in all of life
that is most rewarding. We need to see it and highly value it.

Of course, evil does not see it. Evil does not appreciate life.
Jesus tells us this in John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but
for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they
might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

Certainly Jesus died for all men - 2 Corinthians 5:15. We need
to value life. Who are we to know whom God has chosen before
the foundation of this world to be His? - Ephesians 1:4

-<>-
               .-"''-.  _
             .'       `( \
           @/            ')   ,--,__,-"
           /        /      \ /     /   _/
         __|           ,   |/         /
       .~  `\   / \ ,  |   /
     .~      `\    `  /  _/   _/
   .~          `\  ~~`__/    /
   ~             `--'/
                /   /    /
               /  /'    /jgs
>With that in mind, check this out from Liberty Council:

Freedom of Choice Act Bans Any Restrictions On Abortion
And Forces Us To Pay!
http://www.libertyaction.org/297/petition.asp?Ref_ID=2071&RID=18134714

Thank you for partnering with Liberty Counsel in defense of life!

Mathew Staver, Founder and Chairman
Liberty Counsel

-<>-

>HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)

This one is a sweet one that comes from our friend Sandi. I
loved it the moment I recieved it and saved it till I could
get time to do up the page for it.

Hopefully you'll enjoy it too! Visit it here:

                    __..--''``\--....___   _..,_
          ///// _.-'    .-/";  `        ``<._  ``-+'~=. ////
         ///_.-' _..--.'-    \                    `(^) ) //
        // ((..-' // (< -     ;_..__               ; `' //
       ////////////// `-._,_)'//////``--...____..-' /////
      //////////////////////////////////////////////////
     //////////////////////////////////////////////////

Taking A Catnap 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catnap2.html

---
...Thank You Sandi for sharing this with us!

-<>-

>Just a small note to all our wonderful contributors:

If you haven't seen your forward used yet - do not worry.
Sometimes it takes me a little while to get to it, but I
eventually will. I greatly appreciate you thinking of us
and sharing with us and spending your time to forward these
to me for the group! I love it, we love and we THANK YOU!

       ___                  ____                  ___
  ____(   \              .-'    `-.              /   )____
 (____     \_____       /  (O  O)  \       _____/     ____)
(____            `-----(      )     )-----'            ____)
 (____     _____________\  .____.  /_____________     ____)
   (______/  Joe Reiss   `-.____.-'              \______)

          >>> GREAT BIG HUGGUMS TO ALL OF YOU!! <<<

   _    _   _                  _    _   _                  _
 _( )_ ( ) ( )               _( )_ ( ) ( )               _( )_
( ` ' )| |_| | _   _    __  ( ` ' )| |_| | _   _    __  ( ` ' )
 >   < |  _  |( ) ( ) /'_ `\ >   < |  _  |( ) ( ) /'_ `\ >   <
(_, ,_)| | | || (_) |( (_) |(_, ,_)| | | || (_) |( (_) |(_, ,_)
  (_)  (_) (_)`\___/'`\__  |  (_)  (_) (_)`\___/'`\__  |  (_)
                     ( )_) |                     ( )_) |
                      \___/'                      \___/'
unknown

If Any of you have something cool you want to share with the
group, please do not hesitate to forward it to me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net

*~* Hey, We love it, We need it, We gotta have it!!! :)

===============================================================

>-->From TheFunnyBone:

                    ~;           Why A Ship Is Called "SHE"
                   ,/|\,
                 ,/' |\ \,
               ,/'   | |  \      A ship is called "she" because there
             ,/'     | |   |     is always a great deal of bustle
           ,/'       |/    |     about her; there is usually a gang
         ,/__________|-----' ,   of men about' she has a waist and
        ___.....-----''-----/    stays; it takes a lot of paint to
        \                  /     keep her good-looking;  it is not
     ~~-~^~^~`~^~`~^^~^~-^~^~^~  the initial expense that breaks you,
     jgs-^~^-`~^~-^~^`^~^-^~^`   it is the upkeep;  she can be all
                                 decked out; it takes an experienced
   man to handle her correctly, and without a man at the helm, she is
   absolutely uncontrollable. She shows her topsides, hides her
   bottom and, when coming into port, always heads for the buoys.

=====================================================================

+---------------- Bizarre Police Reports ------------------+

In Detroit, Oregon, a hunter thought he had found a severed 
human head in an abandoned mining shed and called the 
police. Deputy Larry Taylor realized it was just the head 
of a mannequin when he noticed a price sticker on the 
forehead. 
 
A California officer charged the driver of a white Mazda 
with DUI after driving down Pacific Coast Highway with the 
upper half of a traffic light pole laying across its hood. 
When Fonteno asked the drunk driver about the pole, he 
responded: "It came with the car when I bought it." 
 
The driver of an armored truck in Edmonton, Alberta 
appeared to be signaling for help as he repeatedly swung 
his door open. After six police cruisers chased and stopped 
the truck, it turned out, the driver had simply tried to 
fan fresh air into the cabin after the other guard had 
passed gas. 
 
In Boynton, Florida, Michael Harrison and Kevin Carter 
were arrested and charged with armed robbery and murder 
in their attempt to raise money to attend the police 
academy. 

Stockholm, Sweden - Customs officers in Stockholm, Sweden 
arrested a woman who had tried to smuggle 75 live snakes 
in her bra. The officers became suspicious when they 
noticed how the woman kept scratching her chest.

===============================================================

>-->From TheJokester:
     ____________
   .F............T.
   | .----------. |
   | |',' ',' , | |           _......_             .''''''''''.
   | `----------' |        _+'        `+_        .'            '.
  _|.-. _...._ .-.|_     _/.-. _...._ .-.\_     _|.-. _...._ .-.|_
 (_)`-' __[]__ `-'(_)   (_)`-' __{}__ `-'(_)   (_)`-' __/\__ `-'(_)
(....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....)
 | |    ~~~~~~    | |   | |    ~~~~~~    | |   | |    ~~~~~~    | |
 `-'              `-'   `-'              `-'   `-'              `-'
Really, Really Bad Traffic   

* Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire 
without losing your place in line.   

* All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. 
The next thing they'll be selling is antiperspirant to put 
under your car's fenders.

* Traffic is always heavy in both directions. There are just  
as many people trying to get to whatever you're trying to get 
away from.   

* You have mixed feelings when you see an opening in rush hour 
traffic. You're glad for the opening, but you wonder who died.   

* It's useless to print roadmaps anymore. You just get on the
highway and go wherever the other cars take you.   

* The only way to get home from work on time is to take the day 
off... even then, you're cutting it close.   

* Traffic is so bad nowadays, a pedestrian is someone in a hurry.   

* You don't even have to brush your teeth anymore. Just get in 
rush hour traffic, smile, and let someone else's windshield 
wipers do all the work.   

* You can sit on the highways forever. In fact, some places have 
little exit ramps where you can pull over and make a car payment.   

* During rush hour the only way you can change lanes is to buy 
the car driving next to you.   

* Remember the good old days when traffic used to be bumper to 
bumper? Now it's windshield wiper to windshield wiper.   

-<>- 
                                 _..-------++._
                             _.-'/ |      _||  \"--._
                       __.--'`._/_\j_____/_||___\    `----.
                  _.--'_____    |          \     _____    /
                _j    /,---.\   |        =o |   /,---.\   |_
               [__]==// .-. \\==`===========/==// .-. \\=[__]
                 `-._|\ `-' /|___\_________/___|\ `-' /|_.'     hjw
                       `---'                     `---'
>Signs Your Car Has To Be Recalled   

From transmission you hear the unmistakable cries of James Brolin.   

Dealer brags, "This is the car Stephen King owned when he wrote
'Christine'".   

Bucket seats? Actual buckets.   

Horn only audible to dogs.   

The "fan belt" spits venom and coils around your neck.   

Feature that sets it apart from other cars? It's always on fire!   

You peel back the license plate and see "Saddam 1".   

To make a right turn, you have to get out of car and physically 
turn wheels.

The Salesman offered to knock $500 off your funeral.   

Windshield wipers are on the inside.   

-<>-
               .---------------.
              /       oLo       \
            O/_____/________/____\O
            /__________+__________\
           /    (#############)    \
           |[**](#############)[**]|
           \_______________________/
            |_""__|_,-----,_|__""_|
            | |     '-----'     | |  APC'97
            '-'                 '-'
>Characteristics of "The Company Car"

Accelerates at a phenomenal rate.

Has a much shorter braking distance than the private car.

Can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.

The battery, radiator water, oil and tires never have to be checked.

It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light flashing.

It needs cleaning less often than private cars.

The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads 
of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material.

Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by 
turning up the radio.

It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked
and with the keys in the ignition.

It is especially sand and waterproof for barbecues and fishing
expeditions on remote beaches. 

==============================================================

>-->In The Wordly News:
                    ,----------.
                   (  Skandal!  )
                    `----------'
                   O
                  o
               ,-.
             .:\ '`-.
             |:|  __ b
              `;-(
             ,'  |
            ( \|||_
     ,-----(.-''--``-------.
    /_______`'______________\
   /                      SSt\

>From Emergency Email: 

FDA Issue definitive statement on Peanut Butter Salmonella - 
Do not eat guidelines 
Because identification of products subject to recall is continuing, the 
FDA urges consumers to postpone eating commercially-prepared or 
manufactured peanut butter-containing products and 
institutionally-served peanut butter until further information becomes 
available about which products may be affected. Efforts to specifically 
identify those products are ongoing.
Visit Here for More:
http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=345&z=1


>From OneNewsNow: 

           __-----__
      ..;;;--'~~~`--;;;..
    /;-~IN GOD WE TRUST~-.\
   //      ,;;;;;;;;      \\
 .//      ;;;;;    \       \\
 ||       ;;;;(   /.|       ||
 ||       ;;;;;;;   _\      ||
 ||       ';;  ;;;;=        ||
 ||LIBERTY | ''\;;;;;;      ||
  \\     ,| '\  '|><| 1995 //
   \\   |     |      \  A //
    `;.,|.    |      '\.-'/
      ~~;;;,._|___.,-;;;~'
          ''=--<dcau>'

Obama has little in common with Lincoln
On the hardest moral dilemma of his day, Abraham Lincoln stepped up 
to the plate and took a stand. He did not say that it was above his
pay grade. And this is what makes Abraham Lincoln very different 
from Barack Obama.
Visit here for More:
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=390290

Obama betrays Christian voters
You've probably heard that President-elect Obama has invited openly 
homosexual Episcopal Bishop V. Gene Robinson to deliver the 
invocation at an inaugural event on Sunday.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=384446

Will Obama seek repeal of 'don't ask, don't tell'?
A former evangelical Navy chaplain says there would be serious 
national security consequences if Barack Obama follows through 
on his pledge to allow homosexuals to serve in the military.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Security/Default.aspx?id=388006

                  ,   ,
                 /////|
                ///// |
               /////  |
              |~~~| | |
              |===| |/|
              | B |/| |
              | I | | |
              | B | | |
              | L |  /
              | E | /
              |===|/
         jgs  '---'

Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit testifies the Bible is true
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=387754

-<>-

>From BizarreNews:
                (`.
                 \ `.
                  )  `._..---._
\`.       __...---`         o  )
 \ `._,--'           ,    ___,'
  ) ,-._          \  )   _,-'
 /,'    ``--.._____\/--''
-shimrod

   -- Police: Man stole shark with bare hands ----------
LYNBROOK , N.Y. - Police in Nassau County, N.Y., said 
they have arrested a man who allegedly grabbed a shark 
out of a fish tank in a pet shop and hid it in his jacket. 
Investigators said Elbert Starks, 30, entered the Total 
Aquarium store in Lynbrook Dec. 12 and grabbed the $350 
nurse shark out of its tank with his bare hands, Newsday 
reported Thursday. He left the store with the shark 
concealed in his jacket, police said. Starks is also 
alleged to have stolen a cashier's wallet Jan. 2 at Pet 
Barn in Franklin Square and used a credit card from the 
wallet to buy a $300 eel at Parrots of the World in 
Rockville Centre hours later. A police spokeswoman said 
Starks, who is charged with felony grand larceny and 
misdemeanor petty larceny, was keeping his pilfered fish 
in a 200-gallon "personal home aquarium." 
                 .
               .' `.
             .' .'. `.
           .' .'   `. `. 
         .' .'       `. `.
       .' .'           `. `.
     .' .'|  _________  |`. `.
      `'| | |         | | |`'
        | | |   _ _   | | |
        | | |  ( " )  } | |
        | | |   \ /   | | |
        | | |    "    | | |
        | | |         | | |
        | |,+'        | | |
        | | |         | | |
        | | |         | | |
        | | |         | | |
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        | | |         | | |
        | | |         } | |
        | | |         | | |
,,,,,,,,|,|,|,,,,,,,,,|,|,|,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

VK     -- 18th toilet torched in San Francisco ------------
SAN FRANCISCO - San Francisco authorities said a construct-
ion site's portable toilet was torched early Thursday, 
marking the 18th such arson attack in two months. Fire 
Department Lt. Mindy Talmadge said the construction site 
toilet at Washington and Taylor streets on Nob Hill became 
the 18th portable toilet in the area to be set afire during 
the past two months when it was ignited at about 4 a.m. 
Thursday, the San Francisco Chronicle reported. Talmadge 
said the 18 arson fires have caused an estimated $45,000 
in damage. One construction foreman in the city said he 
has been protecting his site's toilet by disguising it as 
a storage shed with dark plywood and a brown blanket. 

    -- Woman took pictures of flasher --------------
DES MOINES, Iowa - Police in Des Moines, Iowa, said a quick-
thinking woman took pictures with her cell phone when a man 
allegedly exposed himself to her. Investigators said the 
victim was offered a ride home while a remote starter was 
being installed in her car Jan. 5 at Elite Styling and 
Sound, the Des Moines Register reported. The woman told 
police Kyle Matthew Thompson, 20, showed up at her home to 
drive her back to the business later in the day when the 
work on her car was completed. She said when she entered 
the vehicle, Thompson's pants were unzipped and he began 
driving in the wrong direction. Police said the woman 
pretended not to notice and used her cell phone to take 
pictures of Thompson with his pants unzipped. They said 
Thompson "jerked the wheel across all lanes of traffic" 
on the freeway to head back in the direction of the store 
after a friend phoned the woman and she casually gave her 
location. Thompson was charged with indecent exposure and 
taken to the Polk County Jail in lieu of $5,000 bond. 
                            .-.
                           ##  )
                           *

                         _.-+*'`*+-._
                       ,##  _    _   #.
                      ;### ((.;;.))  ##:
                .=._.;    ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=,
                 >##;    *-')_@@_(`-*   ;###<
 ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l
                            `-""-'                            
   -- Cow flatulence tax nothing but hot air ----------
EL PASO, Texas - Rumors that livestock owners throughout 
the United States could be taxed for their animals' gas 
emissions are completely untrue, a federal official says. 
Environmental Protection Agency spokesman Jonathon Shradar 
confirmed the federal agency has no plans to begin taxing 
farm owners like Joe Gonzalez for the flatulence of their 
herds, KFOX-TV, El Paso, Texas, reported Wednesday. But 
Gonzales, who owns Gonzalez Dairy Farm, Inc., remains 
concerned that he could face additional payments in the 
future for his animals' instinctual activities. "When I 
first heard it, I thought it was ridiculous thing to try 
and tax cows for doing what they do naturally. Which is 
eat, feed, produce milk, and have by-pass products," he 
told KFOX. "It would take away 80 percent of my net profit 
per cow. So, instead of making $216 per cow, it would bring 
me down to $40 a cow, and of course that would hurt every-
thing else in my income stream," he added. Shradar told 
KFOX the EPA report spurring on such rumors is actually 
based on air pollution sources outside of animal 
flatulence. 

===============================================================

>-->From TheMouth:
           ____
       .-'&    '-.
      /           \
     :   o    o    ;
    (      (_       )
     :             ;
      \    __     /
       `-._____.-'
         /`"""`\
        /    ,  \
       /|/\/\/\ _\
      (_|/\/\/\\__)
        |_______|
       __)_ |_ (__
 jgs  (_____|_____)

>WISE ADVICE FROM KIDS 

"Medicine only works if it's cherry flavored."
-- Elissa, 9

"Good food always comes with a toy."
-- Ryan, 6

"Just because your dog drinks from the toilet, doesn't mean 
you should."
-- Juaquim, 7

"Don't dry the dog in the microwave."
-- Brittany, 5

"If mommy says no, then you should ask daddy."
-- Daniel, 7

"You can't eat soup with a fork."
-- Mel, 4

"Don't pick your nose when you're fingerpainting."
--Xiang, 8

"Never ask mom when she's going to go on a diet."
--Bob, 11

=========================================================

>-->From CleanLaffs

               .-.
               \ /      .-.
               |_|  .-. \ /
               |=|  \ / |_|
              /   \ |_| |=|
             / (@) \|=|/   \
        ____ |     /   \@)  \
      .'    '.    / (@) \   |
     / #      \   |     |   |
     |    o o |'='|     |  /
     \     o  /    \   /'='
 jgs  '.____.'      '='

    Joe, Everyone wants to know your bowling score 
    and whether you were shown up by Barack Obama, 
    who during the campaign bowled a 30-something 
    through 7 frames at which time he gave up. -Kaz 


I did a little better than Barry. In three games I scored 
an 80-something, then I peaked in the second game with a 
105, but by the third game I had dropped again into the 
90s. I didn't mind, though, because my date was beating me 
and she was feeling good about herself. 

Every now and then you have to let chicks feel like they 
are on top! 

Laugh it up, Joe 

-<>-

Marvin found the following ransom note slipped under his 
front door. "Bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of your country 
club tomorrow at 10:00 AM if you ever want to see your wife 
alive again." 

But it was well after 1:00 PM by the time he arrived at the 
designated meeting spot. A masked man stepped from behind 
a bush and demanded, "You're three hours late. What took you 
so long?" 

"Give me a break!" said Marvin, pointing to his scorecard. 
"I'm a 27 handicap." 

-<>-

"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-
boyfriend." 

"I know, but I don't hold any grudges." 

"I'm surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out 
with her." 

"Well, I had to swear to him she's Jennifer Lopez's double." 
"Wow! Is that true?" 

"I wouldn't lie. She's twice her weight and twice her age." 

-<>-

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window 
and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I 
also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much 
money." 

I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a 
dollar bill back." 

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat 
my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and 
said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." 
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in 
change. 

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's. 

-<>-

A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if "hard on" 
was hyphenated. 

The chaplain replies, "What in heaven's name are you writing 
home about!" 

The young boy says, "I'm telling Mom and Dad about the pro-
ject we worked so 'hard on'." 

-<>-

During a tour at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, a New York 
City woman mentioned that she was raising a type of cactus in 
a pot on her apartment balcony. Another tourist asked her how 
she kept from watering it too much, because the cactus would 
die if over watered. 

"I subscribe to the Tucson newspaper," replied the New Yorker. 
"Every time I read that it rained in the desert, I give my 
plant some water." 

-<>-

A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons 
were in their car waiting at a traffic.  The woman glanced 
over at the car next them, noticing a blissfully happy mother 
with her baby daughter. 

Looking at her husband she said, "As soon as I lose my weight 
from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter." 

The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of 
snacks, and said, "Here, have another cookie." 

=============================================================
          

                ___,,___
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    ///    -   -    \  - - = ,ndDMHHMM/\b  \\
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        `""QkmmmmmnWMMM\""WHMKKMM\   `--. \> \
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                                   `>>>
>Top Ten Signs Your New Year Is Off To A Bad Start

10. It's Jan. 9, and there's still a fat guy passed out on 
    your sofa from New Year's Eve

9. All the money you didn't lose in the Ponzi scheme, you 
   bet on the Colts

8. Regis just moved in next door

7. Began year in emergency room having novelty "2009" 
   glasses removed from your stomach

6. Your wife's resolution was to give up sex, with you

5. You're still sitting in your Y2K bunker

4. Company transferred you to an office in Gaza

3. Somali pirates just stole your Buick

2. Your cholesterol is higher than the stock market

1. It's Friday night and you're watching Letterman 

===========================================================

>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
      ,
      |)
      |;
    ,,;,
   zzzzzz
   |a  a|
   | L  |   
   : -,':
--;;   \;;--.
        \    \
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        ((\U/  )
         `--\_/
pb

>Wisdom by Tonto

Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male 
buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Sure, Chief, coming right up."  He gets the Indian a 
tall mug of coffee.  The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, 
turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the 
animal to splatter everywhere, then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns.  He has his shotgun in one hand, 
pulling another male buffalo with the other.  He walks up to the counter 
and says to the waiter, "Want coffee."

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto!  We're still cleaning up your mess from 
yesterday.  What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United 
States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for 
others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

-<>-

Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year. Every year 
Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane."And 
every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but that airplane ride 
cost ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." This one year Stumpy 
and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. 
If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." 
Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and 
ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, 
I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay 
quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but 
if you say one word it’s ten dollars."

Stumpy and Martha agree and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of 
twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all 
his tricks over again, but still not a word. They land and the pilot 
turns to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you 
to yell out, but you didn't."

Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, 
but ten dollars is ten dollars."

-<>-
       .----------.
      /  .-.  .-.  \
     /   | |  | |   \
     \   `-'  `-'  _/
     /\     .--.  / |
     \ |   /  /  / /
     / |  `--'  /\ \
      /`-------'  \ \      Jym Dyer

Q. Why is Friday the thirteenth regarded with such dread?
A. The Norse, whose mythology gave us fear of the number
   thirteen, are also responsible for the anxiety over Friday
   the thirteenth.  Friday gets its name from Frigg, the
   Norse goddess of the heavens.  When Norse tribes dropped
   their polytheistic religion in favor of Christianity, they
   began vilifying Frigg, calling her a witch.  In their
   attempts to malign the goddess who used to represent love
   and fertility, people began to make up stories about her.
   In one tale, the deserted goddess was said to convene
   weekly meetings with eleven other witches and the devil
   --a total of thirteen participants.  In these meetings,
   which naturally took place on "Frigg's day" or Friday,
   Frigg and her cohorts would hatch evil plots for the
   following week.  As a result of this story, Friday became
   known as the "Witches' Sabbath" and Friday the thirteenth
   was especially feared.
 
===============================================================

>-->From SermondFodder:

            ______/``'``'-.
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        /_ \  /    /      :`^'
      /`/_` \/    /       .'
      "/  `'-     |.-'`^. `.
      / .`-._     \   `'^^^
    /`/'    \      \
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                  \ > >  `` `. )
                  // /       .`
                /`/ gnv
                ""
Dead Horses

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed down from generation 
to  generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a 
dead horse,  the best strategy is to dismount.  In the US Public 
Service, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies is 
often employed.  Please note that these can also be readily applied 
to church activities.

1. Change riders.

2. Buy a stronger whip.

3. Do nothing: "This is the way we have always ridden dead horses".

4. Visit other countries to see how they ride dead horses.

5. Perform a productivity study to see if lighter riders improve the 
dead horse's performance.

6. Hire a contractor to ride the dead horse.

7. Harness several dead horses together in an attempt to increase the
speed.

8. Provide additional funding and/or training to increase the dead
horse's performance.

9. Appoint a committee to study the horse and assess how dead it 
actually is.

10. Re-classify the dead horse as "living-impaired".

11. Develop a Strategic Plan for the management of dead horses.

12. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for all horses.

13. Modify existing standards to include dead horses.

14. Declare that, as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less
costly, carries lower overheads, and therefore contributes substantially
more to the bottom line than many other horses.

15. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

 From Divine Humor.  To subscribe send a message with the words: 
"subscribe: Divine Humor eMail List"  to: mana8@mac.com

====================================================================

>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)

Ordinary People, Extraordinary Deeds
http://www.greatamericans.com/

Help! Emergency Numbers: 
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/help.html

Cost Of A Child 
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/costofchild.html

Buy A Dog
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buyadog.html

-<>-

>From LynnLynn's Links:

Melva/Friends Always
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/F_S/Fr_A.html

Remember Our Vets Via Steve
http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/a-remember.php

Kathryn/Hello-Copter 
http://adreamandasmile.com/Smiles/Hello_Copter.html

Quilting With A Passion! Quick/Easy Projects
http://quiltingpassion.com/projects.html

Lucky 2 
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gsdhdjd.htm

Lucky 3  
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ghsjs.htm

Lucky 4 
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gshslkssjs.htm

Magic 1320
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdhdjd.htm 

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a 
blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

==========================================================

>-->Quotes & Thunkers:

"In China, a panda has bitten a visitor for the third time 
in three years. People who saw the attack described it as 
horrifying and absolutely adorable." 
- Conan O'Brien 

"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy." 
- Bob Hope 

"It got down to 11 below in Chicago last night. Here in L.A. 
we're having a bit of a cold snap too. Yesterday, it was 85; 
today, it was down to 83. And they're saying at this rate, 
by the weekend, it could get down to 79, so bundle up." 
 -Jimmy Kimmel

"According to Blender magazine, the average person spends 
three years of their life in the bathroom. Do you know what's 
really pathetic? If it turned out those were the best years 
of your life." -Jay Leno 

"The Detroit Auto Show opened today. America's automakers 
are showing off their latest cars. Unfortunately, they 
didn't get as much of the bailout as they thought, so a 
ticket into the auto show costs $1.3 billion." 
 -Craig Ferguson

"A couple of days ago, there were UFO sightings in New 
Jersey. But don't worry, it's not an invasion — they were 
just looking for a place to dump a body." -David Letterman 

"I read in the paper that by the year 2015, obesity will 
be the leading cause of death. Especially for the person 
on the bottom." -Jay Leno

"Health experts are now concerned that this bad economy may 
be causing Americans to gain weight. They call it recession 
pounds. You heard about this? You put on recession pounds 
during economic hardship. So guys, if your wife or girl-
friend says, 'Do these pants make me look like we're in a 
recession?' be careful what you say." --Jay Leno

"President-elect Obama is moving into Washington, D.C. His 
stuff arrived via U-Haul One." -David Letterman

"In China, a 107-year-old woman who's never been married says 
she's finally ready to start looking for a husband. She said, 
'The last guy I dated built that wall.'" -Conan O'Brien 

"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark over-
night, with widely scattered light by morning." 
- George Carlin 


>Updated FUN STUFF URLS -  Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
<a href="http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html"> FUN URLS</a>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service

You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806

************************************************************************
-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)

Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
<a href="http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html">Home Recipes</a>

>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
<a href="mailto:bcrsystems@earthlink.net?Subject=RECIPE_FOR_YOU"> Share
A Recipe</a>
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>TO SUBSCRIBE: 
Visit Here
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For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com 

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