Happy MLKjr Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) Laura emailed me to let me know one of the recipes had it wrong. She was right! It was a preparation mix up from another recipe. I got it corrected now. You can check it out here... __ \/.--, //_.' .-""-/""-. / __ \ / \\\ \ | || | \ / \ \ / \ '- / '-.__.__.' sjw Under DESSERTS - Apple FRITTERS By Mary http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html --- ...Thank You Laura for Pointing this one out to me! -<>- clap clap Clap clap clap clap clap clap Clap clap clap clap clap , clap clap clap Clap clap clap . \ ` Clap \ ( (\ ) / ` ` / _\ , \(") ___ .- )=| (` ') ' _ /'| |-n___n ' (/\| a:f____________|_L___J__ < L _______________________ >2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This first super hottie comes from our friends Sharon, PatDeE, and Jerry. This one has some truly breathtaking photos! Check it out here... Extraordinary Photos! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/extraordinary.html --- ...An awesome one! Thank you Sharon, PatDeE, and Jerry! This next too hot to handle one is from our friend PatDeE! A mix with some on the humorous satire side. The photos are great and well worth you checking them out! Unusual Photos http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/unusual.html --- ...Some jaw dropping ones here too! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================== >-->From TheFunnyBone: Dr. Suess's Lost Tongue Twisters _.---,_ .' `'. \ __..-'\ }-"` \ This is this cat /__,,..---.._| \ | This is is cat |---..__ | / ``"-./ This is how cat .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ This is to cat ,--./...,,,__ / '--.'__ __```.-. /._ This is keep cat / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / This is a cat || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` This is fool cat `''--/- ""=-,\--._ .---|- ( ""=-. \` This is busy cat \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| This is for cat (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` This is forty cat '. =/ \ =| This is seconds cat .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / Now read the THIRD word, / _-( /-.__ ( in each line, from the '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; start. jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ ============================================================= *------------ Even More Bizarre January Holidays ------------* January 21 is National Hugging Day January 22 is National Answer Your Cat's Question Day and National Blonde Brownie Day January 23 is National Handwriting Day, National Pie Day, and Measure Your Feet Day January 24 is Eskimo Pie Patent Day January 25 is Opposite Day January 26 is Australia Day January 27 is Punch the Clock Day and Thomas Crapper Day January 28 is National Kazoo Day, Clash Day, and Rattle Snake Round-Up Day January 29 is National Cornchip Day January 30 is Escape Day January 31 is National Popcorn Day and Child Labor Day =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) . . , o. .o/ | .---. / /| \~~~/'---+ \ / \ | PING! \-. | |/ /_\ >Happy New Year 2059 HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .. Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with Only 3 illegitimate children. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060.. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.. Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines. Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very very scared. Stop organized crime. Re-elect no one. --- ...LOL! You'll have MLKjr rolling over in his grave! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- I have never seen pro-Polish jokes before! _._ .' `. | | "=======" $ ^ ^ $ ` # ' `._.' _.'< ' >'-._ .' \ / ' / v \ / . .: . | . `' .: ` ' : ` :. `. : :. ` / \ : : < ) / \ : : : ` `*=---=* . / : ) | ' ` ) \` `.' :; | ( `\-. \( / |. \ ) ) ` ( `-' _Y- `'\' \ | )\ ) : ) \ : . \ ` | \ ` , ( : . :' \ \ ` | . \ : | ' ) \ \ : ) .' mb \ .' | | ( a:f \ (__| (__) \ .__.--..' ; | `-..--.--, \ +._____.-=__] [__.--===::-' >Polish loan Polish Loan: A Polish guy walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Poland on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Polish guy handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Polish guy produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the "dumb" Polack for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. Then the employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parked it. Two weeks later, the Polish guy returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?' The Polish guy replied: Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?' Ah, the Polish . . . Smart cookies FRIENDS: Never ask for food. Polish FRIENDS: Always bring the food.. FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'. Polish FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss. FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs. Polish FRIENDS: Call your parents Mom and Dad. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. Polish FRIENDS: Cry with you. FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave. Polish FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together. FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. Polish FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing. Polish FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's asses that left you. FRIENDS: Will knock on your door. Polish FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, 'I'm home!' FRIENDS: Will visit you in the hospital when you're sick Polish FRIENDS: Will cut your grass and clean your house then come spend the night with you in the hospital. FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial Polish FRIENDS: Have your number memorized FRIENDS: Are for a while. Polish FRIENDS: Are there for life. FRIENDS: Might ignore this. Polish FRIENDS will forward this to their Polish friends and those who WISH they were Polish ...* --- ...TeeHee! I guess there is a first for everything! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) _ .-. .--''` ) _ | |/` .-'` ( `\ /` _) _. -'._ /` .' .-.-; `).' / \ \ (`, \_o/_o/__ / .-''` ``'-. { /` ,___.--''` { ; '-. \ \ _ _ { |'-....-`'.\_\ Not ME! / './ '. \ \ `"` _ \ \ | \ \ ( '-.J \_..----.._ __) `\--..__ .-` ` `\ ''--...--. (_,.--""`/` .- `\ .__ _) | ( } .__ _) \_, '. }_ - _.' \_, '. } `'--' '._. ,_) / | / .' \ | _ .-' \__/;--.||-' _|| _||__ __ _ __.-` "`)(` `" ```._) jgs (_`,- ,-' `''-. '-._) ( ( / '.__.' `"`'--' >I Love This Kid - My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now... --- ...LOL! Thanks Jo Ann! ======================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From The TeaParty: RUSH: Yes, Obama Is Landslideable Beatable http://tinyurl.com/7ytb974 -<>- >From our Friend PatDeE: Eat the rich MATH This is clever and graphic: If this doesn't say it all, I don't know what would. For those that may wonder about accepting the notion that we can take a little more from the "rich" to solve our economic problems, watch this. http://tinyurl.com/6ks9z2c --- ...Whoa. Sums it up nicely! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend EdLaF: As Sheriff Arpaio’s Investigation Of Obama’s Citizenship Nears Completion–Holder Sues http://tinyurl.com/7w2m5u2 -<>- >From HumanEvents: Busting Muslim Myths http://content.eaglepub.com/?lariZujDZT0gbrRWPEP-55VdaHWquNMFl -<>- >From BizarreNews: We all need that little spark in our relationships. Some couples like to tie each other up. Some role play. Some swing with other couples. I won't tell you what my wife and I like to do, but I'm sure a lot of my readers have some interesting personal interests. So as far as kinks go, the cross-dressing part of today's story doesn't bury the bizarre meter. The chaining up part is a little confusing. Police have cited a man for disorderly conduct for allegedly chaining himself inside his car while parked outside a western Pennsylvania drug store and dressed as a woman. Police were called to a Walgreen's store about 11:20 p.m. when someone reported seeing the 28-year-old man chained inside the car. When police arrived, the man told them he had restrained himself because he had come to buy his wife a drink at the store, but found it difficult to work up the courage to enter the store dressed as a woman. A police report says the suspect chained himself "to build himself up to going into the store dressed like a woman." The man his charged with disorderly conduct "for causing a public alarm." *-- Police show up for overdue books --* CHARLTON, Mass. - A Massachusetts woman said her 5-year-old daughter burst into tears when police officers showed up at her door and demanded her overdue library books. Shannon Benoit of Charlton said she was shocked when Charlton Police Sgt. Dan Dowd showed up to her door and informed her that her daughter, Hailey, had two overdue library books and needed to either return the tomes or pay for them, WBZ-TV, Boston, reported Tuesday. "I thought it was way overboard," Benoit said. "I closed my door, I looked at my daughter and she started crying." She said her daughter asked if the police were going to arrest her. Dowd said the duty was not his choice. "Nobody wanted to, on this end to get involved in it," the sergeant said. "But the library contacted us, and the chief delegated, and apparently I was one of the low men on the totem pole." Benoit said she located and returned the books. *-- 10-by-12-foot wooden deck stolen --* CLARKSVILLE, Tenn. - The owner of a Tennessee home that has been vacant for more than a year said he was shocked to discover a 10-foot- by-12-foot wooden deck had been stolen. Jadranko Beslic, who moved with his family to Atlanta when he retired from the Army more than a year ago, said a friend asked if she could rent the Clarksville home and when she arrived at the house she discovered the wooden deck was missing from the back yard, The (Clarksville) Leaf-Chronicle reported Tuesday. "That was on Wednesday, and Saturday was the first day I had off and I could go up there and actually look at it," Beslic said. "So we did, and sure enough, the deck was gone. There was nothing there." Beslic said he filed a police report about the theft. "It was really nice. I'm just baffled -- out of all the things to steal, a deck?" he said. *-- Beer theft suspects busted at scene --* SANTA CLARITA, Calif. - Three suspects were arrested after allegedly stealing beer from a California convenience store -- then returning to sloppily erase their tracks, police say. Oscar Jimenez, 19, Eduardo Salgado, 18, and a juvenile whose name was not reported allegedly stole beer from Dooley's Liquor Store & Market in Santa Clarita about 10:30 p.m. Sunday. Detectives allege they returned a half-hour later, drunk, and asked the clerk to hand over the surveillance video. Los Angeles County sheriff's Lt. Tom Bryski said "a scuffle ensued," KNBC-TV, Los Angeles, reported. One suspect allegedly brandished a knife and cut the store clerk on the arm. The clerk needed stitches. What would have been a misdemeanor theft charge suddenly became felony for assault with a deadly weapon. The three escaped, but were apprehended in short order, the TV station said. *-- Teen pleads guilty, takes public office --* ALBURTIS, Pa. - A Pennsylvania 19-year-old who spent his morning pleading guilty to escape and stalking charges spent his evening being sworn in as a public official. Kyle Bower, 19, pleaded guilty to the charges Wednesday in a Lehigh County court and, after being sentenced to probation, was sworn in to the position on the Alburtis Borough Council he was elected to in November, the Allentown (Pa.) Morning Call reported Thursday. "You've been given a great responsibility here," council President Steven Hill told Bower. "Do the best you can and make the borough proud of you." Bower was arrested in 2010 while drinking alcohol and managed to slip out of his handcuffs and flee the police station. He was arrested again in July after throwing a brick through his ex-girlfriend's window and throwing rocks at his car. *-- Police: Man stole two golf carts --* HUTCHINSON ISLAND, Fla. - Florida authorities said a man who stole two golf carts told deputies he took the second cart because it was illegal for the keys to be left in the ignition. The St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office said Tyler Tolle, 25, took a golf cart from a Hutchinson Island home Monday and stole a second cart when the first vehicle ran out of gas, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Friday. Tolle, who was arrested when the owner of the golf cart spotted him driving it, told deputies he would return the cart "when he got back from the store." Deputies said Tolle also said he took the second golf cart because it was illegal for the owner to have left the keys in the ignition. *-- Thousands without pants ride trains --* WASHINGTON - Thousands of train commuters in Washington, London, Toronto, Mexico City, Madrid and other cities rode the rails in their underpants for No Pants Day. The Sunday event, organized in Facebook by group Improv Everywhere, involved an estimated 16,000 people in 60 cities, AOL reported Monday. Other cities with participants included New York, Los Angeles and Tel Aviv, Israel. The Washington Post reported about 200 men and women participated on the city's Metro trains, and Britain's Sun newspaper said hundreds of pantless people took to the London Underground for what is known in the country as the No Trousers Tube Ride. The Sun said riders in Madrid were stopped by police when entering the planned starting station. "The purpose is to have fun and entertain people," said Dan Becherano, one of the event's organizers. "The purpose of flash mobs is to show how we can get together without knowing each other and work as teams without really having seen each other ahead of time. The most important thing will be the victims -- the reaction of people who aren't involved." ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Del :) >Friends \ / \ / | . | |----------| |--. .--| | \__/ | | || | | || | _|__ || __|_ ( '-++-' ) ( - .. . ) ( _ -/\ . - ) (. _ )( __ ) (____)(____) .----` || '----. (_________)(____rs___) Rafal Slubowski Friends are like underwear... Some crawl up your butt. Some snap under pressure. Some don't have the strength to hold you up. Some get a little twisted. Some are your favorite. Some are holey. Some are cheap. Some are naughty. And some actually cover your A when you need them to. Send this to all the friends you have and love, I just did. --- ...HaHa! Thanks Del! ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend Linda :) Two tooth brushes ___ ___ /\ ..\_ _/ /\ \/\ _) (_'' /\/ \/\ o\ / . /\/ \/\_ ) ( _/\/ Faucet \/_)( )(_\/ ____ (__\______________/__) |___|\ |\ \ / /| | \ Tube of | \ \ / / | | \ toothpaste | \ \ / / | | \ ___ | \ \ / / | ____ | \ ____ / _ \ ______ | \ \ / / | /|_||\|________\/|_||\___ / // // \ \ | \ \ / / | _________________________\-\ \_// \/-__ -\__ \__)(__/ __/-- \_________ / |||| [][][][][][][][][] """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" unknown >For Those Who THINK They Know Everything... The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma. ***************************************** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead...I'll wait... ***************************************** Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass ) ***************************************** You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ***************************************** Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. ***************************************** The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. ***************************************** The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MUSTACHE ***************************************** American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.. ***************************************** Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you ?) (That women are going the 'right' direction...?) &**************************************** Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning . *****^*********************************** Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN ! ***************************************** The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first 'Marlboro Man'. ***************************************** Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE! ***************************************** PEARLS DISSOLVE IN VINEGAR ! ***************************************** The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. ***************************************** It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs. ***************************************** A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. ***************************************** Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now !) ***************************************** And the best for last.... Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that, don't YOU ?) So...................... yeah......100's!! Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on... and go move your toothbrush !!! --- ...HaHa! Cool Beans! Thanks Linda! ================================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: .-----. _.----"""""""----._ _.---//-"""-\\---._ .------.___ ( ) ( (/ `-' ) ( ___|-|`"""---..___..---""| _|`"--._________.--"'|_ `---'""" | | (_| |_) | | `--) (--' ________ | | | | _.--""""" """"----._ | | | (_ _)--.------------. | | \`""---...________...----'/__/___ || `-.__ __.-' \___ __/ ""-----"""""""-`' VK `""-----""' ""`-----------'"" Here's a tip for you. Don't try to deep fry cashews. I made stir fry shrimp last night, and for some insane reason the recipe called for deep frying a couple handfuls of cashews before adding them to the mix. So, I heated up a cup and a half of vegetable oil and tossed the nuts in...and in about 30 seconds I had completely filled my kitchen with oily black smoke. There is absolutely no way to get rid of that smell. So I'm heading home tonight to wash every single surface area with ammonia. Laugh it up, Joe --- ...Probably was the salt on the nuts - maybe the salt free kind would have been fine. Parents can be very upset when their children don't get into the college of their choice. As an admissions counselor for a state university, I took a call from an irate mother who was demanding to know why her daughter had been turned down. Avoiding any mention of the transcript full of D's, I explained that her daughter just wasn't as "competitive" as the admitted class. "Why doesn't she try anther school for a year and then transfer?" I suggested. "Another school!" exclaimed the Mother. "Have you seen her grades?" -<>- b, ___ ?8b ,'~~~~~~~----------~~~~~~: ___) `8P / : ___) ,pgggggggoooooogg, | :____) d8 `~~~' ,_ jP' \ :____) ,jP' )8b `8b ~ `.______________ :._--. ~ ,8P' ____ ?8b \ ~~--_ :: | ~ `8888b `~' \ /' ~---~~~----' dP' \ |`. ,gggggj88888888bggggg, /| |::\ '~~~~~~ |:: :::|``, `._:::::::_,'b o: ,ggggggpoooo \ ~~~~~~~ |^/ `~~~~b, | /-'_..---. ?8b \ / |__,==_j 8gggpj888888P~ \ . |--'|:|\ 88) | : :. |//,\__/ ,gggj88888888bggo= \: : :|/| / `~~' 88) | ~~:-~\%.`-' 88' |. : .|\\ ,8P \ . : . | \\ ?88P | .:. / ' Seal I was expecting my Oriental friend Chu to arrive at the airport and want to be picked up at the same time that I had a pressing commitment elsewhere. I simply couldn't be in two places at once, but I couldn't get out of my pre- vious commitment. What to do? Then I remembered that my friend Stuart had offered several times to help me if he ever could in any way. Maybe he could solve my problem. So I called him up, explained my dilemma to him, and asked him, "Please, Stu, meet Chu." -<>- The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling. "Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! WE NEED MORE BUTTER! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK! CAREFUL! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!" The wife was very upset, "What is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving with you sitting next to me." -<>- A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help. "I'd like a box of birdseed," said the lady. "For which kind of bird?" he asked helpfully. "Oh, I don't know," she replied. "Whichever one will grow the fastest." -<>- () () ||____...---~~~---...___|| || %%%%% || Gasp! %%%()% ___ ._._ || / %%%%\\-. |\ /_0_\\ ||...)))))___.........%%%%%()\\~~\~~~ \ |\ //- >-\_ \ //\ \ \// |""""""""| | \ \ _O_// / \\ \ \_/ ,.| JRO| \ \ / / \\/ \/ \ \ \/ /\' ' \ '(__\____/\ \_ \ \ \ \ \ _..-------\'--~ \ \_\.\.-~~-..--~~~~ \ \.- A couple is in their bedroom. The man says, "Tonight I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." She responds, "I'll miss you." -<>- A wholesale dealer who had a lot of trouble in getting a certain retailer to pay his bills finally lost patience and wrote the merchant a threatening letter. He received the following reply: "Dear Sir: What do you mean by writing me a letter like that? Every month I place all my bills in a hat and then figure out how much money I have to pay on my accounts. Then I have my bookkeeper draw as many bills out of the hat as I have money to pay. If you don't like my way of doing business, I won't even put your bills in the hat." -<>- [This joke is just plain stupid. Actually, I'm embarrassed to run it, but I don't have a decent 'groaner' to put in its place. Not surprisingly, the reader who sent it in did not provide a name. I apologize in advance.] The hunched back man decides very reluctantly, that he should go see a doctor after a few too many people have started to comment on his back. DOCTOR: I need for you to get undressed, sir. (Hunchback removes jacket and then stops) HUNCHBACK: I really don't like getting undressed, doctor. DOCTOR: If you want me to examine your back you'll have to get undressed. (Hunchback removes his shirt but leaves his t-shirt on) HUNCHBACK: I don't like showing people my back. They always laugh at me. DOCTOR: Do you want me to examine your back or not? (Very reluctantly, the hunchback removes his t-shirt) DOCTOR: Ah...just how long is it since you were in school? HUNCHBACK: Gosh, over 20 years, doctor. Why? DOCTOR: Did you ever wonder all those years what happened to your backpack? -<>- ,. \-'_ / ___/o mrf \__'o /_|\\ .'./\ \ ',/ / / ''- ''- ---------------- What is Jackie Chan's favorite thing to drink? Waataaaaa! -<>- Stuck in rush-hour traffic, I couldn't help but stare at a burly-looking biker wearing a black leather jacket and chaps pulled up next to me on a shocking pink Harley. My first thoughts were, "Is that really a pink Harley?" and, "I wonder if he's..." Just then the traffic cleared, and he pulled in front of me. On the back of his jacket were stenciled the words, "Yes, it is. No, I'm not." -<>- A man by the name of Tates designed the very first compass for large-scale production and sale in the United States. It was a very significant achievement, but alas, it proved not to be too reliable and many people who relied on it became hopelessly lost. It did however, cause a saying which is very much in use today to be developed... He who has a Tates is lost. ========================================================== >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: @ ) (_m_\ \\" _.`~. `(#'/.\) .>' (_--, _=/d . ^\ ~~ \)-' ' / | ptr ##'##'#after a:f############## ################################# >Will Rogers Quotes: There are three kinds of men. The one who learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. -<>- >Just a weeeeee bit.............. An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman. Shortly thereafter he met a Redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them. The Redneck simply replied, " They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want." The man dated the first daughter. The next day the Redneck asked for the man's opinion "Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice .. pigeon-toed." The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went. "Well, "the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell cross- eyed." The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did. The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry." So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents. .'''. '(("""))' '((O.O))' '; o ;' .("|((, / | || (_ | |/ ,'..,' : ScS @[.,..' \ `, | | | "Well," explained the Redneck, "she was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell ...pregnant when you met her." -<>- More from Jeff Foxworthy: ___ .' \ | .--.| |(`--'| /\`'`'|_ / `::' `. / \ | | | \ _ \ \_ | .\__.--' \ .----|\ `---<\// | \ |`+'_| `.___|._./\| | \ `.|' |' \ `| | \ _/ `.( ))---/`-.__|_.--'--`. ((_ /\ .' `-/._ `. `-._ `-._ /\\`-./\ >-' / `-.`-. `-. _.---\ ` '__`_-( (-._ .J_ `-.`-. | (##) >. ` // \\ )_ `-.F `-.__ `-.`. |__.--' \ ` `\_//`'._`-.J `--.__ `-`. _.-) ' `--.__`-| `-.__>----'.-' `--`--.__ _.-')__.-'``. .-. `--._.-'-'"" ``._//_)) ` ` --'--\\ ._ ` ` _____.' ' `-.`- \\ //)\ ' ' `-._ .' .' ' `--' VK >You might live in Minnesota IF... You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, You might live in Minnesota. You often switch from 'Heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, You might live in Minnesota. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Minnesota. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in Minnesota. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison, You might live in Minnesota. You carry jumper cables in your car, and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Minnesota. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm at any given time, You might live in Minnesota. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Minnesota. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in Minnesota. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and of course, road construction, You might live in Minnesota. You can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in Minnesota. Your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce, You might live in Minnesota. If 'Down South' to you means Iowa, You might live in Minnesota. You know 'a brat' is something you eat, You might live in Minnesota. You find -10 degrees 'a little chilly', You might live in Minnesota. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Minnesota friends, You DO live in Minnesota. ============================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) One Of Those Days http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/days.html Pandas After The Earthquake http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pandae.html Signs Of A Bad Day http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wsigns.html Toyger Mini Tiger http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/minitiger.html Sweets For The Sweet http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sugar.html IRONIC Isn't It? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony.html Got A Nanosecond 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano2.html God's Night Lights http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/night.html -<>- >From Our Friend Jo Ann :) She sent us one we have here... 100 years ago - Niagara Falls Frozen! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/niagarafalls.html --- ...a pretty cool one! Thanks for the reminder Jo Ann! Black America vs. Obama? http://buchanan.org/blog/black-america-vs-obama-4797 Home site http://buchanan.org/blog/ This will give you chills... Gene Wilders Speech … liberty is the most precious of gifts. My generation never had to fight for this freedom, it was offered to us on a silver platter, by people who fought for it with their lives. Read his full Speech at the Four Seasons, New York here: http://europenews.dk/en/node/14505 --- ...Most Interesting reading! Thanks Jo Ann! Meet me at........ http://tinyurl.com/452fwdg --- ...LMAO!! What A dunny one! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- >From Our Friend Sharon :) She sent us one we have here... Road Train Trucks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/roadtrain.html --- ...pretty awesome! Thanks for the reminder Sharon! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Paul Zerdin, ventriloquist without a dummy http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=27735&page=1 --- ...LMAO! Good one! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend EdLaF: Boogie Woogie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9b3ZZywQvg&feature=youtu.be --- ...A fun one! Thanks EdLaF: -<>- >From LynnLynn's Kinks: Recycled Futuristic Art Objects Gallery http://www.alexandromeda.com/ How Products Are Made http://www.madehow.com:80/ Create printable flyers online http://www.band-flyers.com/ Watch Horror Movies Online For Free http://www.fearnet.com/ Conversion Program http://www.joshmadison.com/software/convert/ If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Oooh! So they have the Internet on computers now!" --Homer Simpson "Sure, everyone always said 'Socrates what is the meaning of life?' or 'Socrates how can I find happiness?', but did any- one ever say 'Socrates hemlock is poison.'?!" --Socrates "I was in McDonald's and I saw this kid take his Happy Meal toy and throw it on the ground. His mom said, 'Hey, you play with that. There are children in China who are manufacturing those!'" --Laura Silverman "I have a Y chromosome that makes me ask, Why get married? But I wouldn't want to put down marriage as a whole - which it is." --Kevin Hench "I like hip-hop. I'm working with Ice Cube, Ice-T, and Herb Tea. I'm changing my name to Snapple." --Paul Mooney >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************