Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
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================
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-<>-
* NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or
any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving
the scroll button on the mouse.
You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in
your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while
pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for
smaller text!
================
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This flaming hot new page is from our friend LouiseAu. I
do love a good mystery and thankfully our Father has given
us many to sink our teeth into. The universe is full of
them for those who love to explore and delve into the unknown.
Here we have twelve of those such teasers for us to ponder
over. Check them out here and be sure to watch the amazing
video too...
,----------.
( Mystery! )
`----------'
O
o
,-.
.:\ '`-.
|:| __ b
`;-(
,' |
( \|||_
,-----(.-''--``-------.
/_______`'______________\
/ SSt\
Mysteries Around The World
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldmysteries.html
---
...These are definitely puzzlers! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
|\
| \
|
____________ ____________ |
/ O * maytag \ / O O maytag \ |
|____________| |____________| |
| ____________ || | |
|| ||| | |
|| ]||| | |
/\ ____ || ||| | _______ |
[| ||Tide|||____________||| | |#####| |
__|__||____||______________||______________|__|#####|___|
|#####| jro\
The neighbor of a young man was having trouble with her washing
machine and asked him to come over and take a look at it.
"I'm not very good at fixing these things," he admitted. "The last
time I tried your husband had to buy a new one."
"I know," she replied, smiling.
-<>-
At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior
to going overseas. One lad, having received his series of injections,
asked for a glass of water.
"What's the matter, Mate?" asked the sick bay attendant. "Do you feel
pain?"
"No, just checking to see if I'm still watertight."
-<>-
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't
notice it."
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
January 15 is Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday and National Hat Day
January 16 is Appreciate a Dragon Day and National Nothing Day
January 17 is Ditch New Years Resolutions Day
January 18 is Thesaurus Day and Winnie the Pooh Day - The Birthday
of Winnie's author A.A. Milne
January 19 is National Popcorn Day and National Tin Can Day
January 20 is National Buttercrunch Day, National Cheese Lover Day
and Penguin Awareness Day
January 21 is National Hugging Day and Squirrel Appreciation Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
_
//\
| \/
||~ _ _
||_ [ L___I ]
| /\ | ... |
,@\\/ ,@@@, ,@@@@@, | ::: |
@, ,@@" "@@@, ,@@" "@@@, ,@@@@"| ''' |
jgs "@@@@@" "@@@@@" "@@@@" '========='
>Basement
The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have
thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she got my very patient
son on the phone. At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, "Do
you mind if we send someone out to give you an estimate?"
"Not at all," my son said.
"When would be a good time?"
"As soon as I dig a basement," he replied.
-<>-
>Insurance
Farmer's wife on the phone to insurance claims agent: "The barn
burned down. We had it insured for fifty thousand, and I want my
money."
"Whoa there, lady, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like
that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was
insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar
worth."
"If that's how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance
policy on my husband."
-<>-
>Enough Fruits and Vegetables?
A man visited his doctor for his annual physical. During the
examination, the doctor said, "I'm concerned that you are not
getting enough fruits and vegetables in your diet."
The man replied, "I had eight apples yesterday."
Astonished, the doctor asked, "Really? Eight apples!"
The man replied, "Yes, that's how many were in the pie I ate."
-<>-
>Paint Chip Samples
Okay, I admit it. Any time I'm in Home Depot or Lowe's I grab a few
of those paint chip sample cards that the paint companies provide so
you can color coordinate and whatever it is normal people do with
those paint chip sample cards. Me? I think they make great bookmarks.
-<>-
>Only Sunglasses
Today I was in a store that sells sunglasses and only sunglasses. A
young lady walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today?"
I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator."
She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?
=========================================================
>-->Happy Blessed MLK Jr Day :)
____ __ __ ___ ____ ______
/ __/ \ / | _ \ | _ \_ _|
\__ \ , ^ , | _ \| _ / | |
/____/_|\_/|_|_| \_|_| \_\ |_|
-by Shel Silverstein
>Quotes:
“Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be
demanded by the oppressed.” “Letter from Birmingham City Jail,” 1963
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate
cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” Sermons from his book
Strength to Love, 1963
“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on
military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching
spiritual doom.” From his book Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or
Community?, 1967
“The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige and even his
life for the welfare of others.” Strength to Love, 1963
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in
an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of
destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”
“Letter from Birmingham Jail,” 1963
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and
conscientious stupidity.” Strength to Love, 1963
“We’ve been in the mountain of war. We’ve been in the mountain of
violence. We’ve been in the mountain of hatred long enough. It is
necessary to move on now, but only by moving out of this mountain can
we move to the promised land of justice and brotherhood and the Kingdom
of God. It all boils down to the fact that we must never allow
ourselves to become satisfied with unattained goals. We must always
maintain a kind of divine discontent.” Sermon at Temple Israel of
Hollywood, 1965
“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final
word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger
than evil triumphant.” Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, 1964
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of
comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and
controversy.” Strength to Love, 1963
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that
matter.” “I Have a Dream” speech, 1963
“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love
harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.” Strength to
Love, 1963
“True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of
justice.” “Letter from Birmingham City Jail,” 1963
Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for
others?'
The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to
think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of
true education.
We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a
nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but
by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
King’s dream is the American dream
Today, President Donald J. Trump will sign the official proclamation
making this Monday, January 15, the “Martin Luther King Jr. Federal
Holiday.” This year marks the first time in more than a decade that the
federal holiday falls on King’s actual birthday.
Here is an advance look at what the President will tell Americans today:
Reverend King preached love throughout his life—love for each other,
for our fellow Americans, and for humanity. That is what drove his work.
We celebrate King first and foremost for standing up for the
self-evident truth Americans hold so dear: No matter the color of our
skin, or the place of our birth, we are ALL created equal by God.
This April will mark half a century since King was cruelly taken
from us by an assassin’s bullet. As we mourn his loss, we also pledge to
fight for his dream of equality, freedom, justice, and peace.
https://www.whitehouse.gov/live/
---
...Trump summed this up nicely here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lOi9o87AAU
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
______
_ _ __...----~~~~~ _
// ___...--- ~~~ \\ . // \|/
__..--_// ~~~ . _\\ . \\_ .
//\\\ \|/. //\\\ ///\\ .
//-\-\\ //-/-\\ //-/-\\
//\_-_/\\ //\_-_/\\ . //\_-_/\\
. /\ @ /\ /\\_//\ /\\_//\ .
/\ \_/ /\ /\ \O/ /\ /\.\=/./\
/__\_\_/__\ . /__\_\_/__\ /__\_\_/__\
/___________\ /___________\ /___________\ .
( _____/:_) ) ( _______/:_)) ((_:\_______ )
\_(_:\______/ \_(_:\______/ \______/:_)_/ \|/
(
. ) /( ( ( . .
/\ . )\ )\ /( /\ /\
/=/ \(/ _\/ /( \=\ /=/ .
. /=/___ ()__)/ /(__() . \=\/=/
/=/////\\ (_) __\=|/
\_\////_(_ ////(_)\ .
////// _\ . _)_\\\\\\\
\///(. _\ /_ .)\\\\\
. (:) | _\ __ __/___o/\\\\\\_ .
___(:) ' \___ .__/\/\___/_/ / \\\\\\\
/ (:) \ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*\\\\\\\
/ _ (:) _ \ / / | _ _ _ _ \\\\\\
/ / \__ __/ \ \/ / |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\/_|
( \ | |__\ / . \_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\/ .
\ \| | \_/ |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\|
\ |_______|/ \ |\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/|
. \/ \ / . / jro\ .
/ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(\
\___________// . \___________________/
. \|/ . . .
>SMILES
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota
asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or
mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the
old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the
winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the
winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the
village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea.
He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and
asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist
at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even
more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it
still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going
to be a very cold winter.'
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect
every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.
'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it
is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a wagon load of
firewood'.
-<>-
>Irish Humor
Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty
years, but he will kill any man who does.
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn
thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often
among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy
opponent.
An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an
Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"
"Who told you that?" asked Paddy.
Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
Answer - So the English can understand them.
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out
and announced, "Not guilty."
"That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"
Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?"
Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."
Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in
the vase on the mantle piece?"
"No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time."
Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
A. A bachelor.
Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock
in the morning. I can't break her of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" he said.
"Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"
"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked.
"No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'."
"O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve
your wife's appearance?"
"It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!"
Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their
honeymoon waiting for their s#@ual relations to arrive?
My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your
love life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details
and highlights of theirs?
---
...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
WhiteHouseNews:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/
Justice with Judge Jeanine - January 13, 2018 -
Trump's transparency is what sets him apart
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByPxIESRry8
Border Patrol union: Morale was 'low as it could get' under Obama,
but Trump's support has 'helped' - Washington Examiner
This week on Capitol Hill, Jon Anfinson, President of Local 2366 of the
National Border Patrol Council, testified to lawmakers that under
President Obama, “morale was probably about as low as it could get”
among border patrol agents. “I think part of the improvement has been
that we have an administration that clearly supports what we do.”
https://tinyurl.com/y8rv3s8u
Toyota, Mazda announce $1.6 billion plant for Huntsville, Alabama
- Reuters
This week, Toyota Motor Corp and Mazda Motor Corp announced that they
will build a $1.6 billion joint assembly plant in Alabama. This plant
will employ up to 4,000 workers and will produce 300,000 vehicles a
year. The President tweeted about the news, congratulating Alabama and
saying “companies are coming back to the U.S. in a very big way.”
https://tinyurl.com/y7an8pr3
Remember when President Obama Mocked Donald Trump?
Trump's Magic Wand Brought Jobs Back To America (Best of 2017)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk6YMk2J-5k
Another one here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB2Fm2iAcXc
Obama Tries to spin that the Trump economy is because of him
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6nGkTVXB7A
---
...Hey, when you are a Billionaire like Trump is and not a social worker
like Obama was, than you know how to get things done the right way for
the both the prosperity of companies and their employees. Obama didn't
have a clue!
Holiday retail sales increased 5.5 percent in 2017, exceeding NRF
forecast and showing strongest gain since Great Recession
- National Retail Federation
Yesterday, the National Retail Federation released new data showing that
holiday retail sales the final two months of 2017 exceeded forecasts,
showing the strongest gain since the Great Recession. The Federation
credited this increase to growing wages, stronger employment, and higher
consumer confidence.
https://tinyurl.com/y92vea4y
Tax cuts hit home - The Washington Times
An editorial in The Washington Times slams those who claimed that
President Donald J. Trump’s tax reform efforts would end in doom and
gloom, citing myriad ways that tax cuts have already hit home for
American workers, including raises, bonuses, and improved family
policies. “’Are you better off than you were two years ago?’ For many
[workers], the answer is obvious.”
https://tinyurl.com/y74aavre
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Latest From RightAlerts:
http://rightalerts.com
Latest At FoxNews:
http://www.foxnews.com/
Latest From MRC News:
https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck
Latest From TrueDailyNews:
http://truedaily.news/category/news/
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
A California man has been stripped of his gun and cited for
illegally firing it off at Castle Airport.
Investigators say Jim Price was shooting at squirrels from his
truck on the active airfield while people were nearby, including
one man who says a bullet came a little too close and called 911.
James Allen, 26, parked in his car just outside castle airport
and was reading a book, when he heard the shot. "I heard a pop
and a snap go over my head." Allen says he even heard a bullet
ricochet right past him.
Allen then called the police, and shortly after, multiple Merced
County Sheriff's deputies arrived on scene and surrounded the
truck where the shots were fired. Inside was Jim Price. Mayor Jim
Price of nearby Atwater.
"To find out that it was the mayor shooting in the direction where
people jog and have lunch and stuff like that, mind-blowing; like
I could not believe it," said Allen.
The mayor was cited for both violations on scene. His rifle was
taken away and he was ordered to give up his concealed carry
permit, which was issued by the Atwater police chief.
-<>-
Residents of an Ohio city are being asked to take down their bird
feeders after mail carriers found their routes blocked by a rafter
of aggressive wild turkeys.
The U.S. Postal Service branch in Rocky River informed the city that
the turkeys have been creating hazardous conditions for mail
carriers in multiple neighborhoods and about 25 to 30 homes haven't
been able to receive their mail at all during the past three weeks.
Rocky River Mayor Pam Bobst said residents are being asked to take
down their bird feeders in an attempt to get the turkeys to vacate
the area.
"There's a lot of bird feeders over there so there's a food source
in that area," she said. "It is an issue so we've asked residents to
cease putting out bird seed and bird food so we can see if they will
go down to the Metroparks."
Rocky River resident Dave Liberatore captured video of his recent
encounter with a group of the territorial turkeys while he was out
walking his dog.
"My wife was about 20 feet ahead of me telling me to go faster than
I was and I probably should have been listening," he said. "They
did that same thing where they kind of lower their head and get
some speed going toward you to make sure that you know that they
mean business and it worked. I sped up, too."
Neighbor Chris Lambrinides said his postal worker is one of those
who have found their paths blocked by the turkeys.
"He's not able to deliver at all times because they'll attack him
so we got a notice that we have to go to the post office to pick
up our mail," Lambrinides said.
David Van Allen, regional spokesman for the post office, said
carriers are attempting measures including delivering later in the
evening to see if they can avoid turkey attacks.
"The carriers are carrying an air horn to see if that will scare
off the turkeys, if that will discourage them," he said. "We're
attempting to deliver every day and we will continue to do that."
He said some postal workers have been pecked by the turkeys, but
they were not seriously injured.
*------- Flaming Spider Burns Apartment -------*
A California man using a lighter to kill a "huge" spider in his
apartment ended up causing $11,000 worth of damage when the
arachnid ignited a mattress. Lyndsey Wisegarver, a caregiver
for a resident of the apartment in Redding, said another
resident was trying to kill a massive spider with a torch
lighter and succeeded in setting the pest aflame. "It was a huge
wolf spider," Wisegarver said. The attempt turned to disaster,
however, when the flaming spider fled into a mattress, setting
it on fire. Wisegarver said the flames soon spread to the
apartment's drapes and a flag collection. Redding firefighters
responded to the building, where residents tried unsuccessfully
to extinguish the flames with a garden hose. The damage from the
fire was estimated at about $11,000.
*------- Who The Heck Robs a Hobby Lobby? -------*
Police in North Dakota said a shoplifting suspect was foiled
when his cart, loaded with $4,000 worth of merchandise, got
stuck in the snow and he dropped his wallet. Minot police
said employees at the local Hobby Lobby store reported a male
shoplifter around 7 p.m. Wednesday. Officers arrived to find
the suspect's shopping cart, loaded with $4,000 worth of
merchandise, had gotten stuck in the deep snow and overturned
in the parking lot. The man abandoned the merchandise and fled
the scene, but police said he tripped in the parking lot and
dropped his wallet before making his escape. The wallet
contained a photo ID belonging to Dustin Johnson, 22. Police
arrested Johnson at his home on felony shoplifting charges.
Johnson was booked into the Ward County Jail in lieu of $5,000
bond.
*-------- 'Black Pudding Saved My Life' --------*
A British butcher who found himself locked inside his walk-in
freezer escaped his predicament by using a frozen black pudding
to strike the frozen release button. Chris McCabe, 70, said he
was retrieving an item from the walk-in freezer at his Totnes,
Devon, butcher shop when the wind blew the door shut behind him.
McCabe said he found the emergency door release button inside
the freezer -- which was set to a temperature of -4 degrees --
had frozen solid. "No-one could hear me banging. Black pudding
saved my life," McCabe said. The butcher said he used the frozen
blood sausage as a battering ram to operate the frozen button.
"It was the right shape. I used it like the police use battering
rams to break door locks in. It was solid, pointed and I could
get plenty of weight behind it," he said. "I'm lucky really. We
sell about two or three each week and that was the last one in
there."
*------------ The Pennsylvania Way ------------*
A man will have to spend time in jail for being married to a
woman and her daughter at the same time, according to police in
Pennsylvania. Shamokin police said that they have arrested 44-
year-old Christopher I. Hauptmann, who is also known as
Christopher Buckley, after being accused of possessing firearms
and lying on official documents. In court, Hauptmann pleaded no
contest to illegally possessing firearms, bigamy, forgery, and
unsworn falsification. According to the police investigation,
Hauptmann got married to Shannon Deitrich-Derovick and lived
with her and her daughter, 18-year-old Kaylee Paige Derovick.
After a few months, Hauptmann broke up with Shannon and moved
to a home with his stepdaughter Kaylee. He then married his
stepdaughter while he was still married to her mother. Shannon
claimed that Hauptmann taunted her by sending photos of himself
making love with her daughter.
=========================================================
>-->From TheDailyGroaner:
,==o
//
// xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
// /_/ | x__[__]____ ______
//_.-._ | | |[___________] / + |
//%.o-o-' '-'(_)= (_(_)(_) '-o---o-'
n4biS
>Count Your Blessings - Good Morning Groanies,
So here's the story... we had a fire, a house fire. Early Thursday
morning I woke up and smelled something burning. I got Stacy up and
she smelled it, too.
We searched room by room for the cause of the burning smell and when I
went down to check the furnace I was meet with a thick wall of black
smoke.
We called 9-1-1, grabbed the kids, and got the hell out of there! It
was a scary, panic-inducing situation, but somehow we kept our cool.
All four of us made it out unscathed. I don't know if it was dumb luck
or I just have a nose for trouble, but I'm grateful that everything
that's important to me is safe and sound.
We're in the process of finding some temporary digs until our house's
status is upgraded to "Livable". It might be a while, but not to worry.
We are all in good spirits. Humor has kept us going. It's always better
to laugh than to cry.
So I've got some jokes here to keep me laughing and hope they do the
same for you. Be safe. Be happy. Groan a little bit.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
-<>-
/`\ ___ /`\
\d `"\:/"` b/
/`.--. ` .--.`\
|/ __ \ / __ \|
( ((o) V (o)) )
|\`""`/^\`""`/|
\ `--'\ /'--` /
/`-._ ` _.-`\
/ /.:.:.:.:.:.\ \
; |.:.:.:.:.:.:.| ;
| |:.:.:.:.:.:.:| |
| |.:.:.:.:.:.:.| |
| |:.:.:.:.:.:.:| |
\/\.:.:.:.:.:.:./\/
_`).-.-:-.-.(`_
,=^` |= =| |= =| `^=,
/jgs \=/\=/ \=/\=/ \
` ` ` `
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What is the best hand to write with?
A: Neither - it's best to write with a pen!
Q: What was the gangsters last words?
A: Who put that violin in my violin case!
-<>-
>At the Dairy Bar
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of
cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."
One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured
individuals."
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
%%%%
%%% ,
%%%6 ` """"
%%% < oo''@ @ |
%%% )( __o / 9
%%%_ \ _/ \ / \= /
|_\ ) _| |__ Y__ ___ /___
\ \__/..<' |_| ---/ / \H/ \
\_..--<__________/ / | \
)==0 ____oooo______oooo______
####### /_______________________/
######## [_______________________]
####### || | | || |
\ || ||___| |___||/
\ || || || || ||
/ // || || || ||
( || || || || ||
\ || || || || ||
)|| | == | | == |
|\\ |(__)/ \(__)|
_apc____V\\\____________________ ====================___
Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00
and started digging for some change. I pulled out 8 cents and gave
it to her. She stood there with $2 and 8 cents. She looked bewildered,
holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her
register.
I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two
quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to
explain the transaction to her, she burst into tears.
The incident got me thinking about how our kids were learning math
in school.... (or not).
Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price, or $80. What is his
profit?
Teaching Math In 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a
set of "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element
is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the
set "M." The set "C," the cost of production, contains 20 fewer
points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M."
Answer this question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of
profits?
Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.
His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment:
Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the
logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did
the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees.
(There are no wrong answers)
Teaching Math In The 2000s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for
$100. His cost of production is $120. How does Goldman Sachs determine
that his profit margin is $60?
-<>-
My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us
to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was;
"Do you think there is too much s*# in movies?"
"I don't know," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped up in the
film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing."
-<>-
A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter "R"
and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it.
To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home:
"Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare."
In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the
sentence out loud.
The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing at
him - then replied, "Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny
wasn't cooked enough."
-<>-
A 17-year-old girl came home with five job applications. She carefully
filled them out, and later asked her mother to look them over.
All the answers were clear and concise and she noticed that on all
five applications, under "Previous Employment", she had listed "Baby-
sitting".
But then she read, under "Reason for Leaving" her daughter had
answered, "Parents came home."
-<>-
Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O'Hare airport in Chicago.
Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued each passenger a
$10 meal ticket, or "chit." That evening after dinner I presented my
meal ticket to the cashier.
"Is this chit worth $10?" I asked.
Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, "I'm sorry, sir. Was the
meal that bad?"
-<>-
mathemagician
1+1=2 /\
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;-/\>
||
kOs
>Physics 101
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1
Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling:
1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale
University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
=========================================================
>-->From TheMouth:
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>From The Mouths Of Babes
* "Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old grand-
daughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. "The sun's
looking at me too hard."
* My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He
replied, "When I'm tired of being 5."
* Seeing her first hailstorm, Mary Sue, age 3, exclaimed,
"Mommy, it's raining dumplings!"
* As I frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dish-
towel, my granddaughter observed, "Maybe he thinks you're
surrendering."
* A friend's grandson, 4, was reading with his granddad
about Adam and Eve. He asked, "Is this where God took out
the man's brain and made a woman?"
* Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby
and it looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a
mustache?"
* When I asked our grandson if he could name the capital of
Florida, he fired right back, "Capital F!"
* Shampooing my 4-year-old, I noted his hair was growing so
fast he'd soon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't
water it so much."
* My daughter told her 5-year-old that their van was going
to be fixed. Instantly, the small fry assumed, "Oh, it's
going to the tire-o-practor?"
* Impressed by her 5-year-old's vocabulary, my friend
complimented the young scholar, who nonchalantly responded,
"I have words in my head I haven't even used yet."
* His Mom informed her son, Brian, that she was going out-
side to get a little sun. "But Mommy, he gulped, "You
already have a son. Me!"
* When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at
school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day,
he came home from school all bubbly and said, "Guess what!
They are not only twins....they're brothers!!"
-<>-
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>Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From A Guy
Dressed As A Monster
10. "Looks like I'm not the only one who ate a whole city"
9. "Finish up your bucket list, guys I'm coming back for
you in an hour"
8. "I was going to destroy the country, but it looks like
the mortgage crisis beat me to it hey-ooo"
7. "Where's Madison Square Garden? Some guy gave me a
hundred bucks to eat Isiah Thomas"
6. "Do you know where I can find a scaly green hooker?"
5. "I'm Godzilla's cousin, Todd-zilla"
4. "When I'm fully grown, I'll be almost as big as a New
York City rat. Can you believe that? A city rat. Now
that's a big rat!"
3. "Ahhhh!"
2. "This is what happens when you let Barry Bonds inject
you in the ass"
1. "I ate your sister last night"
-<>-
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>COMPUTER PROVERBS
* Home is where you hang your @.
* The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
* A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
* You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
* C: is the root of all directories.
* Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
* Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
* The modem is the message.
* Too many clicks spoil the browse.
* The geek shall inherit the earth.
* A chat has nine lives.
* Don't byte off more than you can view.
* Fax is stranger than fiction.
* What boots up must come down.
* Windows will never cease.
* Virtual reality is its own reward.
* Modulation in all things.
* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
* Know what to expect before you connect.
* Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we
practice.
* Speed thrills.
* Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach
him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Miniature Donkeys!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/minidonkey.html
Embroidery Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/embroideryart.html
Dog Family Portraits!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogfamilies.html
Disney Wisdom!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneywisdom.html
Witty Comebacks!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html
God's Night Lights 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/night2.html
Amazing Trivia Facts 3!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts3.html
Church Mouse Wisdom!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/churchmouse.html
Happy Moments!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/happymoments.html
Sandy's Can Cars!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cancars.html
Typewriter Art 2!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/typeart2.html
World Of Squirrels!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldofsquirrels.html
-<>-
>Please Follow Me On StumbleUpon
https://tinyurl.com/ycse7xoz
-<>-
>From Our Friend Victor :)
This is crazy, I remember being taught in science class about this.
We looked at 'raw water' under a microscope! You wouldn't want to
drink this if you did this! Besides, our neighbor boy was just
hospitalized last summer for drinking some creek water.
The New 'Raw Water' fad
https://tinyurl.com/y9cg5ocp
---
...Yes! Really crazy! I remember my science teacher. He taught us
about our water. He told us to picture a guy walking barefoot in a
small puddle of water. Once that puddle heats up along with other
water it goes into the air and forms a cloud. That cloud floats for
miles collecting moisture from bird bathers, animal urine and all
sorts of other wet areas until it gets heavy with its collection.
Then it deposits all that collected moisture down on you in the form
of rain or snow. So, do you really want to stick your tongue out to
drink it up?
Here's a good explanation...
Water molecules are so small that you can only see them when a number
of them are clumped together to form a droplet. And they are
constantly on the move. After a rain, they will eventually evaporate
into water vapor. These airborne water molecules get carried back up
into the sky to form clouds and then more rain (or snow or hail).
But, thankfully, other things, such as big clumps of dirt, sticks or
leaves, are too big to be carried up with the water molecules into the
atmosphere. So this process of evaporation can help to purify water of
some of the big things it might be mixed in with.
Not everything can be separated out from water this way. Tiny particles,
such as dust or chemical pollutants, can still find their way up into
the sky. In fact, raindrops form around small pieces of dust in the
clouds, and polluting "acid rain" can contain chemicals from burning
fossil fuels.
https://tinyurl.com/ycadk4cx
-<>-
>From TheMouth:
CRAZY FADS
From 1920 to 1990 we list all of the craziest fads that
have come and gone. Go back a few decades and read about
the silly to serious fads that helped change our society
and create a pop-culture.
http://www.crazyfads.com/
UNIFORM FREAK
This online gallery of retro stewardess uniforms features
over 400 different uniforms from hundreds of airlines past
and present. This site is a trip through the colorful
history of serviced aviation.
http://www.uniformfreak.com/
-<>-
Revisiting...
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
It's Gals Vs Guys in this entertaining look at 100 years of fashion
and the changes that have occurred in fashion and clothing styles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=L3e8MvTntkE
Watch as this Canadian National Railway locomotive dashes trough the
snow that has piled up on the tracks after three major snowstorms in a
week. The guy that took the video set his camera up in the perfect
place to get covered with snow as the train crossed the road which had
already been plowed of snow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Yja2VmZOfdA
---
...Wow! Fun to watch! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Thanks to Congress, meat producers no longer have to tell
consumers where their meat comes from. Upon hearing this,
Arby's said, 'Waaay ahead of you, man.'" -Conan O'Brien
"China just installed new public bathrooms in Beijing that
actually offer Wi-Fi. Yeah, a Wi-Fi-enabled bathroom. Or as
we call that here in America, Starbucks.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"There's a new study that says giving your child too much
praise can harm them later. If you're too hard on your kids,
they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise them
too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these
little monsters want from us?" -Jimmy Kimmel
"The stars gathered in Los Angeles for the Golden Globes.
Oprah Winfrey delivered a speech so powerful that all day
long people have been asking if Oprah will run for president
- which at this point, wouldn't president be a demotion for
Oprah?" -Jimmy Kimmil
"A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and
recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also
shows that monkeys are terrible with names." -Conan O'Brien
"A man in London just took Uber's one-billionth ride, and
to celebrate, Uber gave him a year's worth of free rides.
The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk."
-Jimmy Fallon
"I saw that Princess Charlotte went to her first day of
nursery school yesterday. It was a little intimidating
for the other kids - like for 'Show and Tell' she brought
Scotland." -Jimmy Fallon
"An Arizona bank robber was recently arrested after he
applied for a job with his local police department. They
busted him after they asked, 'Where do you see yourself
in five years?' and he said, 'In jail for robbing a bank.'"
-Seth Meyers
"There are a lot of things to dislike about L.A.: traffic,
pollution, people. But it's important sometimes to stop and
appreciate the fact that, A) We don't have to scrape ice
off our windshield every morning, and B) I can wear the
same pair of teal-colored dolphin shorts to work every day
since 1985." -Jimmy Kimmel
"What a cold day. It was so cold, I saw a flasher on
Hollywood Boulevard wearing a sign on his raincoat
saying, 'Objects May Be Smaller Than They Appear'."
- Jay Leno
"One's real life is often the life that one does not lead."
- Oscar Wilde
"There is still a difference between something and nothing,
but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind
the geometry."
- Martin Gardner
"On account of being a democracy and run by the people,
we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a
government four years, no matter what it does."
- Will Rogers
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
<a href="http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html"> FUN URLS</a>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/yk8q6rd"> NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!</a>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
<a href="http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html">Home Recipes</a>
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
<a href="mailto:bcrsystems@earthlink.net?Subject=RECIPE_FOR_YOU"> Share
A Recipe</a>
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