Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This flaming hot new page is from our friend LouiseAu. I do love a good mystery and thankfully our Father has given us many to sink our teeth into. The universe is full of them for those who love to explore and delve into the unknown. Here we have twelve of those such teasers for us to ponder over. Check them out here and be sure to watch the amazing video too... ,----------. ( Mystery! ) `----------' O o ,-. .:\ '`-. |:| __ b `;-( ,' | ( \|||_ ,-----(.-''--``-------. /_______`'______________\ / SSt\ Mysteries Around The World http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldmysteries.html --- ...These are definitely puzzlers! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: |\ | \ | ____________ ____________ | / O * maytag \ / O O maytag \ | |____________| |____________| | | ____________ || | | || ||| | | || ]||| | | /\ ____ || ||| | _______ | [| ||Tide|||____________||| | |#####| | __|__||____||______________||______________|__|#####|___| |#####| jro\ The neighbor of a young man was having trouble with her washing machine and asked him to come over and take a look at it. "I'm not very good at fixing these things," he admitted. "The last time I tried your husband had to buy a new one." "I know," she replied, smiling. -<>- At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his series of injections, asked for a glass of water. "What's the matter, Mate?" asked the sick bay attendant. "Do you feel pain?" "No, just checking to see if I'm still watertight." -<>- After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 15 is Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday and National Hat Day January 16 is Appreciate a Dragon Day and National Nothing Day January 17 is Ditch New Years Resolutions Day January 18 is Thesaurus Day and Winnie the Pooh Day - The Birthday of Winnie's author A.A. Milne January 19 is National Popcorn Day and National Tin Can Day January 20 is National Buttercrunch Day, National Cheese Lover Day and Penguin Awareness Day January 21 is National Hugging Day and Squirrel Appreciation Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _ //\ | \/ ||~ _ _ ||_ [ L___I ] | /\ | ... | ,@\\/ ,@@@, ,@@@@@, | ::: | @, ,@@" "@@@, ,@@" "@@@, ,@@@@"| ''' | jgs "@@@@@" "@@@@@" "@@@@" '=========' >Basement The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and gone to heaven when she got my very patient son on the phone. At the end of her long sales pitch, she asked, "Do you mind if we send someone out to give you an estimate?" "Not at all," my son said. "When would be a good time?" "As soon as I dig a basement," he replied. -<>- >Insurance Farmer's wife on the phone to insurance claims agent: "The barn burned down. We had it insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money." "Whoa there, lady, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth." "If that's how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband." -<>- >Enough Fruits and Vegetables? A man visited his doctor for his annual physical. During the examination, the doctor said, "I'm concerned that you are not getting enough fruits and vegetables in your diet." The man replied, "I had eight apples yesterday." Astonished, the doctor asked, "Really? Eight apples!" The man replied, "Yes, that's how many were in the pie I ate." -<>- >Paint Chip Samples Okay, I admit it. Any time I'm in Home Depot or Lowe's I grab a few of those paint chip sample cards that the paint companies provide so you can color coordinate and whatever it is normal people do with those paint chip sample cards. Me? I think they make great bookmarks. -<>- >Only Sunglasses Today I was in a store that sells sunglasses and only sunglasses. A young lady walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today?" I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age? ========================================================= >-->Happy Blessed MLK Jr Day :) ____ __ __ ___ ____ ______ / __/ \ / | _ \ | _ \_ _| \__ \ , ^ , | _ \| _ / | | /____/_|\_/|_|_| \_|_| \_\ |_| -by Shel Silverstein >Quotes: “Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.” “Letter from Birmingham City Jail,” 1963 “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” Sermons from his book Strength to Love, 1963 “A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom.” From his book Where Do We Go From Here: Chaos or Community?, 1967 “The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige and even his life for the welfare of others.” Strength to Love, 1963 “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” 1963 “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” Strength to Love, 1963 “We’ve been in the mountain of war. We’ve been in the mountain of violence. We’ve been in the mountain of hatred long enough. It is necessary to move on now, but only by moving out of this mountain can we move to the promised land of justice and brotherhood and the Kingdom of God. It all boils down to the fact that we must never allow ourselves to become satisfied with unattained goals. We must always maintain a kind of divine discontent.” Sermon at Temple Israel of Hollywood, 1965 “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.” Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech, 1964 “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Strength to Love, 1963 “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” “I Have a Dream” speech, 1963 “Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.” Strength to Love, 1963 “True peace is not merely the absence of tension: it is the presence of justice.” “Letter from Birmingham City Jail,” 1963 Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?' The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education. We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. - Martin Luther King, Jr. King’s dream is the American dream Today, President Donald J. Trump will sign the official proclamation making this Monday, January 15, the “Martin Luther King Jr. Federal Holiday.” This year marks the first time in more than a decade that the federal holiday falls on King’s actual birthday. Here is an advance look at what the President will tell Americans today: Reverend King preached love throughout his life—love for each other, for our fellow Americans, and for humanity. That is what drove his work. We celebrate King first and foremost for standing up for the self-evident truth Americans hold so dear: No matter the color of our skin, or the place of our birth, we are ALL created equal by God. This April will mark half a century since King was cruelly taken from us by an assassin’s bullet. As we mourn his loss, we also pledge to fight for his dream of equality, freedom, justice, and peace. https://www.whitehouse.gov/live/ --- ...Trump summed this up nicely here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lOi9o87AAU ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ______ _ _ __...----~~~~~ _ // ___...--- ~~~ \\ . // \|/ __..--_// ~~~ . _\\ . \\_ . //\\\ \|/. //\\\ ///\\ . //-\-\\ //-/-\\ //-/-\\ //\_-_/\\ //\_-_/\\ . //\_-_/\\ . /\ @ /\ /\\_//\ /\\_//\ . /\ \_/ /\ /\ \O/ /\ /\.\=/./\ /__\_\_/__\ . /__\_\_/__\ /__\_\_/__\ /___________\ /___________\ /___________\ . ( _____/:_) ) ( _______/:_)) ((_:\_______ ) \_(_:\______/ \_(_:\______/ \______/:_)_/ \|/ ( . ) /( ( ( . . /\ . )\ )\ /( /\ /\ /=/ \(/ _\/ /( \=\ /=/ . . /=/___ ()__)/ /(__() . \=\/=/ /=/////\\ (_) __\=|/ \_\////_(_ ////(_)\ . ////// _\ . _)_\\\\\\\ \///(. _\ /_ .)\\\\\ . (:) | _\ __ __/___o/\\\\\\_ . ___(:) ' \___ .__/\/\___/_/ / \\\\\\\ / (:) \ \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*\\\\\\\ / _ (:) _ \ / / | _ _ _ _ \\\\\\ / / \__ __/ \ \/ / |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\/_| ( \ | |__\ / . \_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\/ . \ \| | \_/ |/_\/_\/_\/_\/_\| \ |_______|/ \ |\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/| . \/ \ / . / jro\ . / \ / /(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(\ \___________// . \___________________/ . \|/ . . . >SMILES It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?' 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.' The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.' 'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked. The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting a wagon load of firewood'. -<>- >Irish Humor Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does. Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk. The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they're always assured of having a worthy opponent. An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?" "Who told you that?" asked Paddy. Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple? Answer - So the English can understand them. Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty." "That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?" Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?" Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room." Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantle piece?" "No," said himself, "but I'm gettin' closer all the time." Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? A. A bachelor. Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time? Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home. Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" he said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!" "Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked. "No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin'." "O'Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?" "It did surely," replied O'Ryan, "but it keeps fallin' off!" Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their s#@ual relations to arrive? My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your love life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs? --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Justice with Judge Jeanine - January 13, 2018 - Trump's transparency is what sets him apart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByPxIESRry8 Border Patrol union: Morale was 'low as it could get' under Obama, but Trump's support has 'helped' - Washington Examiner This week on Capitol Hill, Jon Anfinson, President of Local 2366 of the National Border Patrol Council, testified to lawmakers that under President Obama, “morale was probably about as low as it could get” among border patrol agents. “I think part of the improvement has been that we have an administration that clearly supports what we do.” https://tinyurl.com/y8rv3s8u Toyota, Mazda announce $1.6 billion plant for Huntsville, Alabama - Reuters This week, Toyota Motor Corp and Mazda Motor Corp announced that they will build a $1.6 billion joint assembly plant in Alabama. This plant will employ up to 4,000 workers and will produce 300,000 vehicles a year. The President tweeted about the news, congratulating Alabama and saying “companies are coming back to the U.S. in a very big way.” https://tinyurl.com/y7an8pr3 Remember when President Obama Mocked Donald Trump? Trump's Magic Wand Brought Jobs Back To America (Best of 2017) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk6YMk2J-5k Another one here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB2Fm2iAcXc Obama Tries to spin that the Trump economy is because of him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6nGkTVXB7A --- ...Hey, when you are a Billionaire like Trump is and not a social worker like Obama was, than you know how to get things done the right way for the both the prosperity of companies and their employees. Obama didn't have a clue! Holiday retail sales increased 5.5 percent in 2017, exceeding NRF forecast and showing strongest gain since Great Recession - National Retail Federation Yesterday, the National Retail Federation released new data showing that holiday retail sales the final two months of 2017 exceeded forecasts, showing the strongest gain since the Great Recession. The Federation credited this increase to growing wages, stronger employment, and higher consumer confidence. https://tinyurl.com/y92vea4y Tax cuts hit home - The Washington Times An editorial in The Washington Times slams those who claimed that President Donald J. Trump’s tax reform efforts would end in doom and gloom, citing myriad ways that tax cuts have already hit home for American workers, including raises, bonuses, and improved family policies. “’Are you better off than you were two years ago?’ For many [workers], the answer is obvious.” https://tinyurl.com/y74aavre Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Latest From RightAlerts: http://rightalerts.com Latest At FoxNews: http://www.foxnews.com/ Latest From MRC News: https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck Latest From TrueDailyNews: http://truedaily.news/category/news/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: A California man has been stripped of his gun and cited for illegally firing it off at Castle Airport. Investigators say Jim Price was shooting at squirrels from his truck on the active airfield while people were nearby, including one man who says a bullet came a little too close and called 911. James Allen, 26, parked in his car just outside castle airport and was reading a book, when he heard the shot. "I heard a pop and a snap go over my head." Allen says he even heard a bullet ricochet right past him. Allen then called the police, and shortly after, multiple Merced County Sheriff's deputies arrived on scene and surrounded the truck where the shots were fired. Inside was Jim Price. Mayor Jim Price of nearby Atwater. "To find out that it was the mayor shooting in the direction where people jog and have lunch and stuff like that, mind-blowing; like I could not believe it," said Allen. The mayor was cited for both violations on scene. His rifle was taken away and he was ordered to give up his concealed carry permit, which was issued by the Atwater police chief. -<>- Residents of an Ohio city are being asked to take down their bird feeders after mail carriers found their routes blocked by a rafter of aggressive wild turkeys. The U.S. Postal Service branch in Rocky River informed the city that the turkeys have been creating hazardous conditions for mail carriers in multiple neighborhoods and about 25 to 30 homes haven't been able to receive their mail at all during the past three weeks. Rocky River Mayor Pam Bobst said residents are being asked to take down their bird feeders in an attempt to get the turkeys to vacate the area. "There's a lot of bird feeders over there so there's a food source in that area," she said. "It is an issue so we've asked residents to cease putting out bird seed and bird food so we can see if they will go down to the Metroparks." Rocky River resident Dave Liberatore captured video of his recent encounter with a group of the territorial turkeys while he was out walking his dog. "My wife was about 20 feet ahead of me telling me to go faster than I was and I probably should have been listening," he said. "They did that same thing where they kind of lower their head and get some speed going toward you to make sure that you know that they mean business and it worked. I sped up, too." Neighbor Chris Lambrinides said his postal worker is one of those who have found their paths blocked by the turkeys. "He's not able to deliver at all times because they'll attack him so we got a notice that we have to go to the post office to pick up our mail," Lambrinides said. David Van Allen, regional spokesman for the post office, said carriers are attempting measures including delivering later in the evening to see if they can avoid turkey attacks. "The carriers are carrying an air horn to see if that will scare off the turkeys, if that will discourage them," he said. "We're attempting to deliver every day and we will continue to do that." He said some postal workers have been pecked by the turkeys, but they were not seriously injured. *------- Flaming Spider Burns Apartment -------* A California man using a lighter to kill a "huge" spider in his apartment ended up causing $11,000 worth of damage when the arachnid ignited a mattress. Lyndsey Wisegarver, a caregiver for a resident of the apartment in Redding, said another resident was trying to kill a massive spider with a torch lighter and succeeded in setting the pest aflame. "It was a huge wolf spider," Wisegarver said. The attempt turned to disaster, however, when the flaming spider fled into a mattress, setting it on fire. Wisegarver said the flames soon spread to the apartment's drapes and a flag collection. Redding firefighters responded to the building, where residents tried unsuccessfully to extinguish the flames with a garden hose. The damage from the fire was estimated at about $11,000. *------- Who The Heck Robs a Hobby Lobby? -------* Police in North Dakota said a shoplifting suspect was foiled when his cart, loaded with $4,000 worth of merchandise, got stuck in the snow and he dropped his wallet. Minot police said employees at the local Hobby Lobby store reported a male shoplifter around 7 p.m. Wednesday. Officers arrived to find the suspect's shopping cart, loaded with $4,000 worth of merchandise, had gotten stuck in the deep snow and overturned in the parking lot. The man abandoned the merchandise and fled the scene, but police said he tripped in the parking lot and dropped his wallet before making his escape. The wallet contained a photo ID belonging to Dustin Johnson, 22. Police arrested Johnson at his home on felony shoplifting charges. Johnson was booked into the Ward County Jail in lieu of $5,000 bond. *-------- 'Black Pudding Saved My Life' --------* A British butcher who found himself locked inside his walk-in freezer escaped his predicament by using a frozen black pudding to strike the frozen release button. Chris McCabe, 70, said he was retrieving an item from the walk-in freezer at his Totnes, Devon, butcher shop when the wind blew the door shut behind him. McCabe said he found the emergency door release button inside the freezer -- which was set to a temperature of -4 degrees -- had frozen solid. "No-one could hear me banging. Black pudding saved my life," McCabe said. The butcher said he used the frozen blood sausage as a battering ram to operate the frozen button. "It was the right shape. I used it like the police use battering rams to break door locks in. It was solid, pointed and I could get plenty of weight behind it," he said. "I'm lucky really. We sell about two or three each week and that was the last one in there." *------------ The Pennsylvania Way ------------* A man will have to spend time in jail for being married to a woman and her daughter at the same time, according to police in Pennsylvania. Shamokin police said that they have arrested 44- year-old Christopher I. Hauptmann, who is also known as Christopher Buckley, after being accused of possessing firearms and lying on official documents. In court, Hauptmann pleaded no contest to illegally possessing firearms, bigamy, forgery, and unsworn falsification. According to the police investigation, Hauptmann got married to Shannon Deitrich-Derovick and lived with her and her daughter, 18-year-old Kaylee Paige Derovick. After a few months, Hauptmann broke up with Shannon and moved to a home with his stepdaughter Kaylee. He then married his stepdaughter while he was still married to her mother. Shannon claimed that Hauptmann taunted her by sending photos of himself making love with her daughter. ========================================================= >-->From TheDailyGroaner: ,==o // // xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx // /_/ | x__[__]____ ______ //_.-._ | | |[___________] / + | //%.o-o-' '-'(_)= (_(_)(_) '-o---o-' n4biS >Count Your Blessings - Good Morning Groanies, So here's the story... we had a fire, a house fire. Early Thursday morning I woke up and smelled something burning. I got Stacy up and she smelled it, too. We searched room by room for the cause of the burning smell and when I went down to check the furnace I was meet with a thick wall of black smoke. We called 9-1-1, grabbed the kids, and got the hell out of there! It was a scary, panic-inducing situation, but somehow we kept our cool. All four of us made it out unscathed. I don't know if it was dumb luck or I just have a nose for trouble, but I'm grateful that everything that's important to me is safe and sound. We're in the process of finding some temporary digs until our house's status is upgraded to "Livable". It might be a while, but not to worry. We are all in good spirits. Humor has kept us going. It's always better to laugh than to cry. So I've got some jokes here to keep me laughing and hope they do the same for you. Be safe. Be happy. Groan a little bit. Groaningly yours, Steve -<>- /`\ ___ /`\ \d `"\:/"` b/ /`.--. ` .--.`\ |/ __ \ / __ \| ( ((o) V (o)) ) |\`""`/^\`""`/| \ `--'\ /'--` / /`-._ ` _.-`\ / /.:.:.:.:.:.\ \ ; |.:.:.:.:.:.:.| ; | |:.:.:.:.:.:.:| | | |.:.:.:.:.:.:.| | | |:.:.:.:.:.:.:| | \/\.:.:.:.:.:.:./\/ _`).-.-:-.-.(`_ ,=^` |= =| |= =| `^=, /jgs \=/\=/ \=/\=/ \ ` ` ` ` Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what? Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: What is the best hand to write with? A: Neither - it's best to write with a pen! Q: What was the gangsters last words? A: Who put that violin in my violin case! -<>- >At the Dairy Bar Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals." ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: %%%% %%% , %%%6 ` """" %%% < oo''@ @ | %%% )( __o / 9 %%%_ \ _/ \ / \= / |_\ ) _| |__ Y__ ___ /___ \ \__/..<' |_| ---/ / \H/ \ \_..--<__________/ / | \ )==0 ____oooo______oooo______ ####### /_______________________/ ######## [_______________________] ####### || | | || | \ || ||___| |___||/ \ || || || || || / // || || || || ( || || || || || \ || || || || || )|| | == | | == | |\\ |(__)/ \(__)| _apc____V\\\____________________ ====================___ Last week I purchased a burger for $1.58. I handed the cashier $2.00 and started digging for some change. I pulled out 8 cents and gave it to her. She stood there with $2 and 8 cents. She looked bewildered, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she burst into tears. The incident got me thinking about how our kids were learning math in school.... (or not). Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5ths of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set of "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C," the cost of production, contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M." Answer this question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits? Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Math In 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers) Teaching Math In The 2000s: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Goldman Sachs determine that his profit margin is $60? -<>- My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; "Do you think there is too much s*# in movies?" "I don't know," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing." -<>- A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter "R" and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare." In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already laughing at him - then replied, "Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough." -<>- A 17-year-old girl came home with five job applications. She carefully filled them out, and later asked her mother to look them over. All the answers were clear and concise and she noticed that on all five applications, under "Previous Employment", she had listed "Baby- sitting". But then she read, under "Reason for Leaving" her daughter had answered, "Parents came home." -<>- Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O'Hare airport in Chicago. Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued each passenger a $10 meal ticket, or "chit." That evening after dinner I presented my meal ticket to the cashier. "Is this chit worth $10?" I asked. Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, "I'm sorry, sir. Was the meal that bad?" -<>- mathemagician 1+1=2 /\ \ c") ;-/\> || kOs >Physics 101 Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 Knot-furlong 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds 10 cards: 1 decacards 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin 10 rations: 1 decoration 8 nickels: 2 paradigms 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _____ .---...-. ,' -. `. ,' _____...' / - _ - \ : .' _ _ \\ : ' _)' : | :-(_).(_):: (_ ;) | | -' || \ _ / ; | _ || `..___..' `-'..____.'`' ;._: _; :_ / \ SSt ,' `' `. SSt >From The Mouths Of Babes * "Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old grand- daughter, sitting in a pool of bright light. "The sun's looking at me too hard." * My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He replied, "When I'm tired of being 5." * Seeing her first hailstorm, Mary Sue, age 3, exclaimed, "Mommy, it's raining dumplings!" * As I frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dish- towel, my granddaughter observed, "Maybe he thinks you're surrendering." * A friend's grandson, 4, was reading with his granddad about Adam and Eve. He asked, "Is this where God took out the man's brain and made a woman?" * Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby and it looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a mustache?" * When I asked our grandson if he could name the capital of Florida, he fired right back, "Capital F!" * Shampooing my 4-year-old, I noted his hair was growing so fast he'd soon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much." * My daughter told her 5-year-old that their van was going to be fixed. Instantly, the small fry assumed, "Oh, it's going to the tire-o-practor?" * Impressed by her 5-year-old's vocabulary, my friend complimented the young scholar, who nonchalantly responded, "I have words in my head I haven't even used yet." * His Mom informed her son, Brian, that she was going out- side to get a little sun. "But Mommy, he gulped, "You already have a son. Me!" * When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from school all bubbly and said, "Guess what! They are not only twins....they're brothers!!" -<>- /| |\ ; : : : | Y, ,P | | Yb. __ ,dP | l\ YMMb,_ _,/ \,_ _,dMMP /f j; `YMMP' `--' `YMMP' ;j : \ YP`-._ _.-'YP / ; \ `\, _,\_ _/,_ ,/' / `,_, \`o> Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From A Guy Dressed As A Monster 10. "Looks like I'm not the only one who ate a whole city" 9. "Finish up your bucket list, guys I'm coming back for you in an hour" 8. "I was going to destroy the country, but it looks like the mortgage crisis beat me to it hey-ooo" 7. "Where's Madison Square Garden? Some guy gave me a hundred bucks to eat Isiah Thomas" 6. "Do you know where I can find a scaly green hooker?" 5. "I'm Godzilla's cousin, Todd-zilla" 4. "When I'm fully grown, I'll be almost as big as a New York City rat. Can you believe that? A city rat. Now that's a big rat!" 3. "Ahhhh!" 2. "This is what happens when you let Barry Bonds inject you in the ass" 1. "I ate your sister last night" -<>- ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b >COMPUTER PROVERBS * Home is where you hang your @. * The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. * A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. * You can't teach a new mouse old clicks. * C: is the root of all directories. * Don't put all your hypes in one home page. * Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish. * The modem is the message. * Too many clicks spoil the browse. * The geek shall inherit the earth. * A chat has nine lives. * Don't byte off more than you can view. * Fax is stranger than fiction. * What boots up must come down. * Windows will never cease. * Virtual reality is its own reward. * Modulation in all things. * A user and his leisure time are soon parted. * Know what to expect before you connect. * Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice. * Speed thrills. * Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Miniature Donkeys! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/minidonkey.html Embroidery Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/embroideryart.html Dog Family Portraits! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogfamilies.html Disney Wisdom! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneywisdom.html Witty Comebacks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html God's Night Lights 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/night2.html Amazing Trivia Facts 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts3.html Church Mouse Wisdom!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/churchmouse.html Happy Moments!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/happymoments.html Sandy's Can Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cancars.html Typewriter Art 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/typeart2.html World Of Squirrels!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldofsquirrels.html -<>- >Please Follow Me On StumbleUpon https://tinyurl.com/ycse7xoz -<>- >From Our Friend Victor :) This is crazy, I remember being taught in science class about this. We looked at 'raw water' under a microscope! You wouldn't want to drink this if you did this! Besides, our neighbor boy was just hospitalized last summer for drinking some creek water. The New 'Raw Water' fad https://tinyurl.com/y9cg5ocp --- ...Yes! Really crazy! I remember my science teacher. He taught us about our water. He told us to picture a guy walking barefoot in a small puddle of water. Once that puddle heats up along with other water it goes into the air and forms a cloud. That cloud floats for miles collecting moisture from bird bathers, animal urine and all sorts of other wet areas until it gets heavy with its collection. Then it deposits all that collected moisture down on you in the form of rain or snow. So, do you really want to stick your tongue out to drink it up? Here's a good explanation... Water molecules are so small that you can only see them when a number of them are clumped together to form a droplet. And they are constantly on the move. After a rain, they will eventually evaporate into water vapor. These airborne water molecules get carried back up into the sky to form clouds and then more rain (or snow or hail). But, thankfully, other things, such as big clumps of dirt, sticks or leaves, are too big to be carried up with the water molecules into the atmosphere. So this process of evaporation can help to purify water of some of the big things it might be mixed in with. Not everything can be separated out from water this way. Tiny particles, such as dust or chemical pollutants, can still find their way up into the sky. In fact, raindrops form around small pieces of dust in the clouds, and polluting "acid rain" can contain chemicals from burning fossil fuels. https://tinyurl.com/ycadk4cx -<>- >From TheMouth: CRAZY FADS From 1920 to 1990 we list all of the craziest fads that have come and gone. Go back a few decades and read about the silly to serious fads that helped change our society and create a pop-culture. http://www.crazyfads.com/ UNIFORM FREAK This online gallery of retro stewardess uniforms features over 400 different uniforms from hundreds of airlines past and present. This site is a trip through the colorful history of serviced aviation. http://www.uniformfreak.com/ -<>- Revisiting... >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) It's Gals Vs Guys in this entertaining look at 100 years of fashion and the changes that have occurred in fashion and clothing styles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=L3e8MvTntkE Watch as this Canadian National Railway locomotive dashes trough the snow that has piled up on the tracks after three major snowstorms in a week. The guy that took the video set his camera up in the perfect place to get covered with snow as the train crossed the road which had already been plowed of snow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Yja2VmZOfdA --- ...Wow! Fun to watch! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Thanks to Congress, meat producers no longer have to tell consumers where their meat comes from. Upon hearing this, Arby's said, 'Waaay ahead of you, man.'" -Conan O'Brien "China just installed new public bathrooms in Beijing that actually offer Wi-Fi. Yeah, a Wi-Fi-enabled bathroom. Or as we call that here in America, Starbucks.'" -Jimmy Fallon "There's a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later. If you're too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these little monsters want from us?" -Jimmy Kimmel "The stars gathered in Los Angeles for the Golden Globes. Oprah Winfrey delivered a speech so powerful that all day long people have been asking if Oprah will run for president - which at this point, wouldn't president be a demotion for Oprah?" -Jimmy Kimmil "A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names." -Conan O'Brien "A man in London just took Uber's one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a year's worth of free rides. The man says he's excited to spend the entire year drunk." -Jimmy Fallon "I saw that Princess Charlotte went to her first day of nursery school yesterday. It was a little intimidating for the other kids - like for 'Show and Tell' she brought Scotland." -Jimmy Fallon "An Arizona bank robber was recently arrested after he applied for a job with his local police department. They busted him after they asked, 'Where do you see yourself in five years?' and he said, 'In jail for robbing a bank.'" -Seth Meyers "There are a lot of things to dislike about L.A.: traffic, pollution, people. But it's important sometimes to stop and appreciate the fact that, A) We don't have to scrape ice off our windshield every morning, and B) I can wear the same pair of teal-colored dolphin shorts to work every day since 1985." -Jimmy Kimmel "What a cold day. It was so cold, I saw a flasher on Hollywood Boulevard wearing a sign on his raincoat saying, 'Objects May Be Smaller Than They Appear'." - Jay Leno "One's real life is often the life that one does not lead." - Oscar Wilde "There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry." - Martin Gardner "On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does." - Will Rogers >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************