Happy May Day ... :) Shangy! >-->H A P P Y H A P P Y M A Y D A Y!! _ _(_)_ wWWWw _ @@@@ (_)@(_) vVVVv _ @@@@ (___) _(_)_ @@@@ @@()@@ wWWWw (_)\ (___) _(_)_ @@()@@ Y (_)@(_) @@()@@ wWWWw @@@@ (___) `|/ Y (_)@(_) @@@@ \|/ (_)\ @@@@ (___) / Y \| \|/ /(_) \| |/ | / Y \ | \ |/ | / \ | / \|/ |/ \| \|/\ | \ |/ jgs|// \\|/// \\\|//\\\|///\|/// \\\|// \\|// \\\|// |// \\|/// ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ May 1st, often called May Day, just might have more holidays than any other day of the year. It's a celebration of Spring. It's a day of political protests. It's a neopagan festival, a saint's feast day, and a day for organized labor. In many countries, it is a national holiday. Read the rest here: http://www.infoplease.com/spot/mayday.html May Day May Day Crafts for the Kids here: http://www.kidsdomain.com/craft/_may.html Kids May Day Celebrate Spring with your favorite Bug AND greet all your friends here Be sure to turn your sound up! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/greetings.html BUGaBoo! __________________________ |.-----------..-----------.| || _ _ _ _|| ___ _ _ || || | | |/ \| \ \ \/ / || || | | ' | '_/ '_/\ / || || |_|_|_|_|_|||_| /_/ || || ___ ___ __||_ _ _ ___ || ||/ __/ \ \| | \ |/ _/|| ||\__ \ '_/' /| | | [ \|| ||/___/_||_|_\|_|_\_|\___/|| || || || ||-._________||___________|| ||--,--------..-----------.| |||\ \ || || ||; \ ; ||_ || || \| | _.|| ``''-. || ||\ | | _." .||-""-_) `) || ||_) `" .-.||`` _.-' || || ( ||--'` || || ' . | || || || () \ || .-. || ||\/_ | ||' _;\ || ||_`_____/_.'||____/______|| '---------------------jgs--' ========================================================================= >-->From The FunnyBone: .--. .--. The Right Pet / /\ ". _......_ ." /\ \ / / ` ` \ \ ( ( /' _ __ `\ ) ) A devout couple felt it \ /| /0} {0\\ |\ / important to own an equally ` | / \/// | ` devout pet. So, they went \ \ / \ / / shopping. At a kennel `\ \| .==. |/ /' specializing in this `\\.' \ / './/' particular breed, they jgs /`'._-^^-_.'`\ found a dog they liked. `""` When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home--devoutly. .-. That night they had friends over. They were so __| |__ proud of their new pet and his major skills, they [__ __] called the dog and showed off a little. The | | friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog | | was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as jgs | | well. This stopped the couple cold, as they '-' hadn't thought about "normal" tricks. Well, they said, "let's try this out." Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head. +----------------- Bizarre T-shirt Slogans ----------------+ 1. "Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod) 2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old) 3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up" 4. "Procrastinate Now." 5. "Rehab Is for Quitters." 6. "My Dog Can Lick Anyone." 7. "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?" 8. "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt) 9. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15." 10. "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING." ================================================================= >-->From our Firend Steve ;) >I know it's not Halloween but... .-"""". / \ __ / .-. .\ / `\ / \/ \ | _ \/ .==.==. | ( \ /____\__\ \ \ (_()(_() \ \ '---._ \ \_ /\ |` (__)________/ / \| /\___/ | \ \||VV | \ \|"""", | \ ______) \ \ /` jgs \( Top 10 Reasons Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...... 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say: “Great Boris Karloff Mask,” and you’re not wearing a mask. 5. When the door opens you yell, “Trick or ….” and can’t remember the rest. 4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders. 3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece. 2. You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating… .-----. .' - - '. / .-. .-. \ | | | | | | \ \o/ \o/ / _/ ^ \_ | \ '---' / | 1. You keep having to go home to pee. / /`--. .--`\ \ / /'---` `---'\ \ '.__. .__.' `| |` | \ \ '--. '. `\ `'---. | jgs ,__) / `..' -By Michael Smalley October 31, 2006 -<,,>- >BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT WE HAVE! Our Highways aren't safe... Our Parks aren't safe... Our Streets arent' safe... Our Homes aren't safe... - - B U T - - UNDER OUR ARMS ,,,,, We Have . . , | - D TOTAL \__- | PROTECTION | | \\|_ , ,---- _ |----. \__ ( ( / ) | \/ \. ' _.| \ | \ /( / /\_ \ \ / ( / / ) ( , / / , |......\ | \, / / ) \--- b'ger /___/___^// -<**>- >Story Time! One day little Johnny's teacher told the class they had a homework assignment. She said, 'Ask your Daddy or your Mommy to tell you a story with a moral at the end of it." The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Judy. Aunt Judy was a pilot in Desert Storm. ___ / /] / / ] _____,. ' /__] ,-' _> _/ G-BUMR ,. '` ) / | _,. '` ( /. / | ) , /` ./ ( \_/ //_ _ ) / // (_) _,~'# (/. ~#~~#~~~ Her plane got hit and she had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, _,________ sjw _T _==____() a pistol and a survival knife." /##(_)-' /##/ """ "She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands. She then landed right in the middle of twenty troops." "She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, ;til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands." "Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?" "Don't mess with Aunt Judy when she's been drinking." --- ...Love em! Thanks Steve! ========================================================================= >-->This comes from both our friends Pat and Betty J :) .-""""-. |== ==|-. |~~ ~~~|`\\ |LILILI| || G A S O U T ! | |// | |/ | | jgs __|______|__ [____________] NO GAS...ON MAY 15TH 2007 The Austin paper indicated that prices could go as high as $4 per gallon later this year....read on DON'T PUMP GAS ON MAY 15TH!! In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon overnight. On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most places. There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the internet network, and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up. If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take $2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil companies' pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry for at least one day. If you agree (which I can't see why you wouldn't) resend this to all of your contact list. With it saying, ''Don't pump gas on May 15th" I'LL BE PARTICIPATING..HOPE ALL OF YOU SEE THE IMPORTANCE AND DO THE SAME! ~~Happy day~~ ---- ...You Betcha! Thanks gals! ====================================================================== >If you haven't already --- Be sure to visit... _ .--. ( ` ) .-' `--, _..----.. ( )`-. .'_|` _|` _|( .__, ) /_| _| _| _( (_, .-' ;| _| _| _| '-'__,--'`--' | _| _| _| _| | _ || _| _| _| _| _( `--.\_| _| _| _|/ .-' )--,| _| _|.` (__, (_ ) )_| _| / jgs`-.__.\ _,--'\|__|__/ ;____; \YT/ || |""| '==' Cool Hot Air Balloons! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/hotair.html Balloons ========================================================================= >-->Translation Problems , .__ ._ \_. _, _. ' \/ \.- / \/ .-_` // |/ \, .-""""-. \. ' \`. || \.-' / F Y .-.`-( _/\ V/ \\//,-' >-' F Y .__/ `. \. ' J ) ./ / __ J \, I ' _/ \ \ | | / / .'-'.- ( L \_.--.| \_. ' .___ `\: | / .--'.-'" \ '\ . L / \\/ ._/`-.` \ .'.' .'---./__ \__ '\ ) \._/ `-.__. ` \\_. ' .---. \ / / , ` ` --' \\ ): // \, `-.`__.' `- \ / / _/-.---.__. _.-`.'/ /'\_, ._ >--.-""'____.--"`_ ' /.'..' \ \ _ .---._\ \'/ '__./__.-.. / .-|( x_.-'___ | :' / _..---_ .:' /`\ `. `..'.--'\ /.' /`-`._ `-,' ` ' I '_.--'__--.._ ` `. `\/'/ _. _.-' _.____./ .-.--""-. .-" ' _..-.- -._ .--.\ / /-./ / .---'-//.___. .-' \__ .--. ` ` ,--'/.-. ^. .-.--. ` _/ _// ./ _.. .' `. \ \ | /' | >. ' | \._.- ' _..' `.' . `. ) | |\ ` ./ \ \' ) c| / \ \_.. .--' ,\ \_/` : ) (`-. `.|` \' / ,-. | ` ./` ._/ `\\'.--.,-(( `.`.__ | _/ \ |) ______'\ | < __________ //' // _) )/-._`. (,-') ) / \_ a:f | | .__./ // '\ |// `.\ '\ ( ( <` > | _. / ..-\ _ _/ \_. \ `\ \_ `---.-' . / `- _.' / ` _/| J /` `-,,---- ' .:' '` ' < ` f I // ' \. J I/\_. __/ `: I .: K ` ` \/ ) `, J L )_(_ . F .-' J / `. . I (. . I _.-.._ ' <' \ ) _.---.J/ :' L -' .:. \. _.->/ _.-'_.) ` `-.`---.,_ :< ( \ .--"" .F' J) `.`L.__`-.___ .: |-'\_.| Y ..Z )) `--' ` . ) | > : . ' :' / ) L_J .x,. L_J ., .:<., .'` ` :J.,` . ;.+K,:. .,L+., Copyright 2002 W. Bruce Cameron — Please do not remove the copyright from this essay When it comes to landscaping at my house, I pretty much leave the whole thing to God and my dog. Between the two of them I have sparse patches of yellow grass and dozens of holes which my canine has excavated out of sheer boredom. I'm also very tolerant of the aberrant behavior of my trees. If they want to turn brown and fling themselves to the ground, I figure it is no business of mine. For many years my "don't ask, don't chop" attitude toward trees allowed peaceful coëxistence, wherein I was the Lord of the Manor and they were my arboreal subjects. Then a monstrous Douglas Fir next to my house died of what I assume were natural causes; a sad passing brought to my attention by my neighbor Fred, who pointed out that the precarious lean of the tree meant that when its root system finally relinquished its grip on the earth, the thing would fall right through my roof. "Well, Fred, then why don't you come over and cut the thing down?" I asked pointedly, as I am made testy by people who are always bringing up problems without suggesting solutions. True to his type, Fred demurred, claiming that he didn't think he had the expertise to drop the tree anywhere but on my house, even though he's got plenty of money and could easily afford to pay for any damage he might cause. He did offer, however, to put me in touch with "the best tree guy in the state," causing me to wonder how such rankings are assigned. Are there playoffs, or do the various garden journalists get together and vote? "Only problem with this guy is, he doesn't speak English. He's from Brazil," Fred advised me. "So he speaks Brazilian?" "No, Portuguese," Fred replied, as if this made any sense whatsoever. Because my Portuguese is a bit rusty-okay, I didn't actually know it was even a language -I decided to turn to the internet for help in producing written instructions for our state's number-one tree trimmer. What you do is go to the web site, type in your words in your own language, and then you receive a translation which you can then cut and paste into a document for printing. I was not, however, able to locate an English-to-Portuguese translator. I was able to find Italian to Portuguese, though, and German to Italian, so when I found the English-to-German site, I'd completed the chain, and wrote out a document asking the tree guy to remove the fir tree which was menacing my house. When I handed the tree guy my written request, he looked at me very oddly, but proceeded to bring down the fir tree without incident. His crew turned out to consist of his son, who could speak fluent English as well as Portuguese, and another man who spoke only English. It was for the third member of the team that the son wrote out a translation of my request, carefully jotting down the English words above my text, as follows: Greetings to you, friend of the forest: Above the home of my people lies the ghost of the growth of the planet, whose broad arms have enfolded us in the darkness of their frowns during the long periods of light and the playing of the little children of my loins. Now I fear that a great inclination seizes this hair of Douglass, with the making of a horrible momentum that seeks to cleave the sheltering and disrupt the napping of the father of my offspring. I pray you'll sing the ribbons of restraint and petition the linked chewer to formerly see the dried plumbing of those perilous offshoots of trunk, of which my compatriot Fred exposed electrifying laziness, with not a bruising of crown nor canceling of the eyes of the house. Upon autopsy, please to be creating a pyramid of such fabrication as to allow the warming of our nakedness before the location of burning within the area of living. Upon the occasion of the festival of the night, let us all join in a slobber of brewer's craft. I belong to you, Bruce Cameron (Apparently, this is how they talk in Brazil.) Write to Bruce: http://www.wbrucecameron.com/email_bruce.htm ======================================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and three blondes were stuck on the escalator for more than four hours. ***************** A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like... HELLO! You need to roll up the windows first." ***** A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing.! ...I'm going to buy it!!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked? "Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied........"Two popsicles and some coffee" ***** AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest." "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have a better chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks. "No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too." =================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From CCA: Christian Coalition of America Asks Supporters to Urge House Members to Vote Against "Hate Crimes" Bill, H.R. 1592, on Thursday More Here: http://www.christian-coalition.net/ CCA -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Teacher injured falling from toilet ----------- LIVERPOOL, England - A compensation award to a British teacher who dislocated her hip falling off a child-sized toilet in Liverpool has sparked complaints from lawmakers. The teacher won about $28,000 in compensation, and the Liverpool Daily Post reports the money will come out of the school's budget. "It is concerning to hear of cases where money meant for the education of children in the city is spent on other things, such as compensation claims," Councilor Paul Clein of the Liverpool City Council said, the Daily Post reported. The teacher's claim was one highlighted by the National Union of Teachers as it reported work it had done for its members. The teacher was not named. Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the Taxpayers Alliance, called on local authorities to give schools what they need to stop compensation payouts. "On the surface of this case, it appears that it is excessive and councils need to work with schools to make sure that a compensation culture does not emerge," Elliott told the Daily Post. -- Blind pilot flies from U.K. to Australia -------- DARWIN, Australia - A blind British adventurer reached Australia in a record attempt to fly from London to Sydney. Miles Hilton-Barber, 57, began his journey in a micro-light aircraft on March 7 and landed Monday in Darwin. He has been accompanied by a co-pilot on his epic flight that has taken him to 18 countries. He said he hoped to land in Sydney next week after following the path of the classic London-Sydney air race in 1919. Hilton-Barber, who has been blind for 25 years, also said he hoped to raise $2 million toward the prevention of blindness in developing countries as he soars into the record books as the first sightless pilot to clock the 13,000-mile trip. -- New car smell is bad for you --------------- BERKELEY, Calif. - That "new car smell" can be hazardous to your health, The Ecology Center, a Berkeley, Calif., environmental group said. The Ecology Center said toxic chemicals such as bromine, chlorine and lead found in cars' interiors give off harmful fumes for three years, the Chicago Tribune reported. The group listed the 10 least toxic vehicles in a report: the Acura RDX; BMW X3; Chevrolet Cobalt; Chrysler PT Cruiser; Honda Odyssey; Nissan Frontier; Suzuki Aerio wagon; Toyota Matrix; and Volvo S40 and V50. The 10 worst vehicles were: the Chevy Aveo, Express and Silverado; Hyundai Accent; Kio Rio and Spectra; Nissan Versa; Scion xB; Subaru Forester; and Suzuki Forenza. Jeff Gearhart of the Ecology Center said consumers can avoid the fumes, which are emitted when the car's interior is exposed to heat. "Don't park in the sun, and if you do, use a solar screen along the windshield to reduce heat getting into the cabin. And before driving on a warm day, first open the windows and doors to ventilate the car for 10 minutes," Gearhart told the newspaper. "Also, clean the cabin frequently by vacuuming and washing the windows because the greasy film on the inside windows is residue from the chemicals." -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: Study IDs breast cancer protein U.S. scientists have discovered a protein that is key to the spread of breast cancer and, therefore, presents a potential new drug target. Kimmel Cancer Center researchers at Thomas Jefferson University, led by Dr. Richard Pestell, genetically engineered mice to lack the protein Akt1, which normally plays a role in keeping cells alive by interfering with programmed cell death. Breast and other cancers make an overabundance of the protein and it's thought to affect survival of breast and other cancer cells as well. To test that hypothesis, the scientists bred mice missing the gene for Akt1 with other mice that overexpressed the HER2-neu (ErbB2) oncogene, which leads to approximately 25 percent of all breast cancers. They then examined the role of Akt in the onset and progression of breast cancer in the resulting offspring. They found mice lacking two copies of the gene that produces Akt1 rarely had any tumors. Mice that carried only one copy of the Akt1 gene developed some tumors, but they were small and developed more slowly. Mice with two copies of Akt1 rapidly developed significant cancer. The finding is reported online in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. _______ | | | | |:::::::| |:::::::| |:::::::| \_____/ |_ _| ) ( `-' (c) Mike'96 Glass baby bottle use rising in California Stores in California cities such as San Francisco are having a hard time dealing with a sudden resurgence in the use of baby bottles made of glass. Linked to recent reports of the possible toxicity of certain plastic baby bottles by a state advocacy group, sales of the glass versions have raised dramatically in recent months, The San Francisco Chronicle said. San Francisco resident Sean Mullins said that while manufacturers maintain their plastic products are indeed safe, he chose to embrace caution after hearing of Environment California's "Toxic Baby Bottles" report. "You want to avoid anything that could be a health risk to a baby," the father of a 6-month-old told the Chronicle. "You try to give them the best start." The paper said that certain types of plastic bottles were allegedly found to leak bisphenol A, a chemical that had been found to be dangerous to lab animals, when the baby items were heated up. =============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Bob R :) >Coming to America: I am sorry but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Spanish - enough is enough. Nowhere did they sing it in Italian, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German or any other language because of immigration. It was written by Francis Scott Key and should be sung word for word the way it was written The news broadcasts even gave the translation -- not even close. Sorry if this offends anyone but this is MY COUNTRY - IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY SPEAK UP -- please pass this along. I am not against immigration -- just come through like everyone else. Gett a sponsor; have a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past -- and GOD BLESS AMERICA! -<..>- _ _ ('< >') \(_)________( \ (___________)\\ ( ) \ | | | | | | _| |_ (_______)lc I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quite, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal. Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen. T hen the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: you child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. --- ...I agree Bob. I do love birds - but I see what this is saying. How about this though - I watched a comedy show where the comedian was saying to the effect - 'The mexican aliens want to be here so bad how bout we give some of them the job of being border patrol? Hey yeah, I'm not joking see. We tell em we give you a job and you can stay here as long as you keep em out. You let one guy sneak in and guess what? You get deported and he gets your job! What you think? That dude ain't letting anybody by!' ======================================================================== >-->From Our Friends Del, Casey & MrWu :) >Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards were flying to a convention. Barack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a 1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy." Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy." John added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy." Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy." If you're one of those 156 million forward this! -<,,>- An ET-AHEM! >Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2007 Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you females see him without him eyeballing you, make him a sandwich. Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00? Number 2 In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration! "Life is like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, /\ /\ ( \\ // ) \ \\ // / \_\\||||//_/ \/ _ _ \ \/|(O)(O)| \/ | | ___________________\/ \ / // // |____| // || / \ //| \| \ 0 0 / // \ ) V / \____/ // \ / ( / "" \ /_________| |_/ / /\ / | || / / / / \ || | | | | | || | | | | | || |_| |_| |_|| \_\ \_\ \_\\ Hard'96 might burn your ass tomorrow". ================================================================= >--> Letterman's Top Ten Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At Your Prom 10. "The theme is 'A Night in Gitmo'" 9. "The janitor is making a fresh batch of punch" 8. "I couldn't afford a corsage, so I bought you some iceberg lettuce" 7. "For this next dance, I want all you Sunnis to grab a Shiite" 6. "I plan on having sex tonight — not with you of course" 5. "Would you like to go someplace quiet and discuss the joys of Scientology?" 4. "Surprise! I wore my Spock ears!" 3. "Are you a cop?" 2. "Paris Hilton will attend anything" 1. "Nice dress, Carl" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places to Net Visit :) [AOL And Others May Have To Copy And Paste These Links] >From The MouthPiece: Top 20 Animal Themed Comic Characters Do you know who made the top 20? There's omly one way to find out. Oh, by-the-way, Man-Bear-Pig didn't make it. Visit: Top 20 Animal Themed Comic Characters 102 Weird Facts You Never Knew About Dogs Number 23: Gidget is the name of the Taco Bell dog. Interesting. Visit: 102 Weird Facts You Never Knew About Dogs -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: HOW TRUE IT IS http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/HOWTRUEITIS.HTML Roller Coaster FUN http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coaster.html School Lockdown Alert! http://www.lockdownalert.com Online diet and Exercise Diary http://www.2000cal.com/ SciFi Hall Of fame http://www.sfhomeworld.org/ To subscribe send a blank email to lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com ================================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Astronomers now say they have discovered the existence of an "earth-like" planet, with an atmosphere that could sustain life, nearly 120 trillion miles away from us out in deep space. Here's the amazing part: It already has three Starbucks." - Jay Leno "How about that Rosie O'Donnell? She’s left "The View," and she's rumored to be hiding out in the mountainous region of Afghanistan. " - David Letterman "Hugh Grant's been arrested because he got mad and threw a container of baked beans at a photographer. So far people aren't sure which is more embarrassing, being arrested with a prostitute, or being arrested for throwing baked beans." - Conan O'Brien "Even though Sanjaya has been voted off "American Idol," some viewers are organizing fan clubs. They want to be known as "Fanjayas." Or by their current name, deaf people." - Conan O'Brien "In New York City women are being paid as much as $1,200 to lay on a table in fancy restaurants, naked, and the chef covers them with food. Then people come and eat the food off the naked women. You know what these women are called? A lazy Susan." - Jay Leno "The Pope has gotten rid of limbo. Did you hear about this? Limbo is the place you go to before you go to hell. Here at the "Late Show," we call that the Green Room." - David Letterman No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back. - Turkish Proverb >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Wow Baby :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Serrvice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Subscribe ************************************************************************ >TO UNSUBSCRIBE: Remove ************************************************************************ -->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN List Publication? >To ADVERTISE: Advertise ************************************************************************ -->Missed Any of These Teachings? 'BABES IN CHRIST','IN The Beginning', 'Crossing The Line','NEVER Give Up', 'FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy', 'HAUNTINGS', 'Christianity And The Renewed Mind', or 'Curse Of The Law' --BE SURE TO Tell me which one you want or yyou'll get them all :) >For a Lesson: Teaching ************************************************************************ --Want TIPS to help TEACH A CHILD TO BE SAFEE and STOP ABDUCTIONS? Child Help ************************************************************************ --PHYSICIAN FORMULAS = THE BEST PLACE TO GETT IT: Wanta know more? >Visit their Web Site: PhysicianFormulas ************************************************************************ PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS They keep our service "priceless" -->LET'S Have FUN and Do Some SHOPPING!! We've got patches, Phones, Almonds, and Chains, Furniture, Chocolates, Cheese, and Games. Clothing, flowers, dishes, and shoes, Desserts, Cherished Teddies, and Auto Tools. We've got NCAA, NFL, MLB, and NBA, Disney, Name a star, Movies, and KinKade. Jewelry, furs, leather, and lighting, Music, instruments, and magazines at best pricing. >Beat The Crowds - Let Your MOUSE Do the Walking! :) http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/yellow.html Get It Here ***********************************************************************