Happy Memorial Day... :) Shangy!
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*~* Happy, Blessed And Safe Memorial Day Celebration!
A special THANK YOU to all our veterans for their service. We do
so owe you a debt of gratitude for your sacrifice for our country.
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>From MoveAmericaForward: Happy Memorial Day
Today we remember the millions of Americans throughout history
who have sacrificed their lives to fight for freedom, liberty
and the American way. Whether it was in World War II, or
Afghanistan, we must never forget to honor those who fell in
the line of duty to protect us back home.
With summer slowly creeping in, many use this three-day weekend
as an opportunity to enjoy the luxuries that surround us. Are
you participating in a Memorial Day parade or ceremony? Maybe
you are gathering with friends and family for a day at the beach
or making hamburgers on the grill.
The warm sun and extra time away from work could make it easy to
forget what this day represents. Since the creation of our great
nation, men and women have laid down their lives in order to
protect us - for that we should be forever indebted. We can't
forget that Memorial Day is about honoring those men and women
who made the ultimate sacrifice.
We have over 18,000 troops serving in Iraq (5,000) Afghanistan
(13,000) and Syria (500), waiting for care packages from home
to remind them of what they're fighting for and why they are
making such enormous sacrifices.
Read In Full Here:
http://tinyurl.com/z652k88
-<>-
>-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
Our first smoking hot new page is from our friends Linda and
Bunni. With the kids out for the summer, you'll need to keep
an extra close eye on them or you may wind up taking photos
like these in this hilarious page. Check it out here...
Kids Being Kids 4!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids4.html
---
...Such a SMILE treat! Thanks Ladies!
Our next flaming hot new page is from our friends EdLaF and
LouiseAu. It is one to remind us of the history and patriotism
of our many soldiers who gave their all for freedom not on our
own blessed land but on foreign soil. Their loyalty and bravery
will not be forgotten or belittled by those who seek to taint
it for their own agendas. Check this one out here...
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American Heroes Abroad!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/americanheroes.html
---
...So awesome! I do so love the video here too! Thank You my friends!
=======================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone:
Sure I've Gotten Old...
I've had 2 Bypass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought
prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything
quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me
dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't
remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!
___________________________
/ _______ \
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||S a\aS | Xxxxx Xxxxxxx |
||S = / | 2892 XxxxxxXx |
||_/ -'__| XXXX, XXX 32708 |
|htxx wtxx RR302042 |
jgs \____________________________/
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(_.===============================================._)
English as a Second Language
Original source unknown. Enjoy these gems from around the world:
TOKYO SHOP: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they
are best in the long run.
JAPANESE HOTEL: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of
warm in your room, pleas control yourself.
TOKYO CAR RENTAL SHOP: When passenger of foot heave in sight,
tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he
still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
MAJORCAN SHOP: English well talking. Here speeching American.
LEIPZIG (GERMANY) ELEVATOR: Do not enter the lift backwards, and
only when lit up.
BELGRADE (YUGOSLAVIA) ELEVATOR: To move the cabin, push button for
wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.
PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR: Please leave your values at the front desk.
ATHENS HOTEL: Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between 9 and 1l. a.m.daily.
YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is
the job of the chambermaid.
JAPANESE HOTEL: You are invited to take advantage of the
chambermaid.
SWISS MENU: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you
are not a person to do such thing is please not to read not is.
BUCHAREST HOTEL: The list is being fixed for the next day. During
that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
MOSCOW HOTEL: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous
Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily
except Thursday.
AUSTRIAN SKI LODGE: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours
of repose in the boots of ascension.
POLISH MENU: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with
cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
May 30 is Memorial Day and Water a Flower Day
May 31 is National Macaroon Day, Save Your Hearing Day and
World No Tobacco Day
June 1 is Dare Day and Flip a Coin Day
June 2 is National Bubba Day and National Rocky Road Day
June 3 is National Doughnut Day and Repeat Day
June 4 is Applesauce Cake Day, Hug Your Cat, National Trails Day
and Old Maid's Day
June 5 is World Environment Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
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>Memorial Day 2016 (Serious, Not Humor)
In the United States, Memorial Day is celebrated on the last Monday
in May and honors those men and women who lost their lives serving
their country. What we celebrate as Memorial Day today, began at the
end of the Civil War. Family members of the many soldiers slain in
battle would visit the grave sites of their fallen relatives or
friends and decorate the graves with flowers.
On May 5, 1868, General John Logan proclaimed this day a holiday
through his General Order No. 11. The day was entitled Decoration
Day and was first observed on May 30, 1868. The northern states
celebrated this day every year, but the southern states celebrated
a day similar to this on a different day until sometime after World
War I.
In 1882, the name Decoration day was changed to Memorial Day, and in
1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday to be held on the
last Monday of May every year. Over the years it has come to serve
as a day to remember all U.S. men and women killed or missing in
action in all wars.
I am truly grateful for the freedoms which we enjoy today. Too often,
we take these gifts for granted, little realizing the sacrifice which
was involved in ensuring that these freedoms continue to be a part of
all our lives. Be honest, how many of us think of Memorial Day as
just another chance for a three-day weekend? A chance to go the lakes
or beaches or mountains? A trip to Disneyland or Six Flags or some
other amusement/theme park?
I know there are probably some people on the GCF mailing list who
might not agree with my views in these special emails, but as a
former Hospital Corpsman (US Navy), I want to give my humble thanks
to those who gave their lives so that we have the right to disagree
with each other.
If you are here in the United States, please remember to display the
flag, not just for the day but for the whole weekend. Let's not
forget the real reason for having this holiday. The quotes below say
it all. Please take the time to read them.
Take care everyone.
Tom
(HM2, USN 65-69)
"It is, in a way, an odd thing to honor those who died in defense of
our country in wars far away. The imagination plays a trick. We see
these soldiers in our mind as old and wise. We see them as something
like the Founding Fathers, grave and gray-haired. But most of them
were boys when they died, they gave up two lives -- the one they were
living and the one they would have lived. When they died, they gave
up their chance to be husbands and fathers and grandfathers. They
gave up their chance to be revered old men. They gave up everything
for their county, for us. All we can do is remember."
-- Ronald Wilson Reagan
Remarks at Veteran's Day ceremony, Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia, November 11, 1985
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We
didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought
for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we
will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's
children what it was once like in the United States where men were
free."
-- Ronald Wilson Reagan
Address to the annual meeting of the Phoenix Chamber of Commerce
March 30, 1961
----------------------------------------------------------
Let's all pause and take a minute to REMEMBER.
Pearl Harbor 1941 ... Normandy 1944 ... Pork Chop Hill Korea 1953 ...
Tet Offensive Vietnam 1968 ... Desert Storm Kuwait 1991 ...
The World Trade Center 9/11 2001 ... Shock and Awe Iraq 2003 ...
Iraq War Surge 2007 ... Afghanistan TODAY.
After having taken a minute to REMEMBER Let's take one more minute to
say THANK YOU for all that was given, all that was lost and all that
was gained for us to enjoy our Hot-Dogs, Soft Ball, Picnics, Swimming
Pools, Beaches, Iced Tea and Kids in Peace in the Greatest Country on
God's Green Earth.
----------------------------------------------------------
A final thought and addition to the words above.....
Over the years the meaning of Memorial Day has faded too much from
the public consciousness. From a solemn day of mourning, remembrance,
and honor to the men and women who died in providing the freedoms we
enjoy, it has been reduced to a weekend of BBQ's, shopping bargains
and beaches where only token nods toward our honored dead is given,
if at all. Too many don't know what the day stands for.
So, let's not forget those who made the ultimate sacrifice. They are
remembered in all our prayers. Also, let's not forget a prayer for
the safety of all service men and women, whether they serve at home
or overseas. Finally, a heartfelt Semper Fi from this former Hospital
Corpsman is sent to all the Marines I knew. -Tom
-<>-
>Interruptions
After many interruptions from her young son, a woman trying to choose
a greeting card tried to get a moment to finalize her selection.
She said, "I do not want to hear the word 'Mom' for five minutes."
Seconds later, the boy tugged her skirt and said, "Excuse me, lady."
-<>-
>I am the Boss
This man was talking to a group of men at the office and he said,
"In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done, when
the cooking is done and when the dishes are washed."
One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been
married?"
The man says, "Oh, I'm not married!"
-<>-
>Home for Dinner
John brought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner. As they
arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John
and kissed him passionately.
"My goodness", said Peter, "and how long have you been married?"
"22 years", replied John.
"You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like
that after all those years."
"Don't be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous."
-<>-
>Exhaust Fan
My husband and I were building a sunroom to accommodate our new hot
tub. The project soon turned into a money pit.
During one of our numerous trips to the hardware store, my husband
inquired about exhaust fans. The store clerk looked them up on the
computer and praised one fan in particular because it was
exceptionally quiet.
After asking the clerk for the price, he sighed and said, "Do you
have anything louder?"
-<>-
>Making New Friends
New to town, I was eager to meet people and make friends. So one day
I struck up a conversation with the only other woman in the gym.
Pointing to two men playing racquetball in a nearby court, I said to
her, "There's my husband." Then I added, "The thin one --
not the fat one."
After a slightly uncomfortable silence she replied, "And that's my
husband -- the fat one."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
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>SMILES
A woman goes to the police station to report that her
husband was missing.
"Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer.
"He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears
dentures," answered the woman. "Come to think of it, most
of him was missing before he was."
--------
A little old man was escorted into the witness box. After
he was sworn in, the lawyer asked him to explain what
happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading
up to the incident, he finally got around to the meat of
the case: "... and then she hit me with a maple leaf."
"Surely that couldn't have caused you any serious injury?"
said the lawyer.
"Are you kidding?" exclaimed the old man. "It was the leaf
from our dining room table!"
--------
Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of
an insurance policy with the clerk at the insurance agency. During
the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for
my husband today for a million dollars, and tomorrow he dies? What
will I get?"
The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably a life
sentence."
--------
A friend of mine claims this happened to a friend of hers:
She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, thought
she, I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I
never use. I'll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove
my monogram and put hers on it. And you have one cheap wedding
present! So she took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove
her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith took a look at
the tray, shook his head, and said,
"Lady, you can only do this so many times!"
-------
At our family picnic, my mother insisted that I had to
wash my hands before eating. I protested that they
weren't dirty and that the rest rooms were far away,
but Mother prevailed (as they always do) and I went
and washed up.
Later, as I was standing with a full plate of food, my
hamburger slid off the plate and onto the grass.
Understandably distressed, I said, "Mo-o-om!" and started
to tear up.
My mother said, "Oh, pick it up. A little dirt never hurt
anyone."
-------
After years of nagging, the wife was finally going deer hunting
with her husband. "I'll drop you off here and go park the car.
Don't get into trouble". says her husband.
He drove the car down the road and parked it. Walking back he
could hear a heated argument between his wife and some man.
"It's my deer. I shot it!" he could hear his wife shouting.
The man's voice kept insisting...."That's not your deer, lady"
The husband started walking faster. His wife said "It is TOO my
deer. I shot it and it's mine."
"No it's not" said the man.
The argument got louder and louder with his wife shouting about
her killing her first deer.
Finally, the weary voice of the man was heard admitting defeat.
"Okay, lady, it's YOUR deer. Just let me get the saddle off
it.........."
--------
It was a quiet day on the Ark and Noah was getting bored, so he
told his wife that he was going to relieve the tedium by going off
on a fishing expedition.
"That's a good idea," she said. "You could do with a break."
Noah collected his equipment and set off, but thirty minutes later
he was back and still complaining that he was bored.
His wife said: "I didn't expect you back so soon. If you're that
bored, why did you stop fishing after only half an hour?"
Noah replied, "I only had two worms."
--------
"Did you give the prisoner the third degree?" asked the police
sergeant.
"Yeah, we browbeat him, asking every question we could." answered
the arresting officer.
"And did you get a confession?" asked the sergeant.
"Not exactly." replied the officer. "All he said was, 'Yes Dear,'
and dozed off."
--------
Brit is visiting California for the first time, and is conversing
with a California native. He says, "I'll be visiting La Jolla
(lah-JOLL-a) next week."
The Californian replies, "Oh, you mean, 'La-HOY-a?'"
"Oh. Yeah, I guess so." Then he adds, "but right now I'm staying
in El Cajon (el-ca-JOHN)..."
Again the Californian corrects him, "You mean, El Ca-'HONE?'"
"Oh. Yeah, right...."
Then the Californian asks, "So when will you be returning home?"
The Brit thinks about it for a minute. Then he answers, "Oh, I
don't know. I guess sometime in 'HUNE' or 'HULY.'"
-<>-
>RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND...
(or in my case) RAMBLINGS OF A "TIRED MIND!"
I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells
sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me
and asks, "what brings you in today?" I looked at her, and said,
I'm interested in buying a refrigerator. She didn't quite know
how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?
----------------------------------------------------------
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those
cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.
----------------------------------------------------------
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.
----------------------------------------------------------
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands
on beer cans!
----------------------------------------------------------
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you
still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to
bounce it.
----------------------------------------------------------
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call
it Pumping Rust.'
----------------------------------------------------------
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, 'Oh, have you
got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'
----------------------------------------------------------
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in
case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An ambulance!'
----------------------------------------------------------
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole
lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me. They were
cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades
on the curve.
----------------------------------------------------------
Birds of a feather flock together... and then crap on your car.
----------------------------------------------------------
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by
then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
----------------------------------------------------------
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy
a replacement.
----------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
----------------------------------------------------------
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when
he's really in trouble.
----------------------------------------------------------
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS'
together it spells 'Theirs!'
----------------------------------------------------------
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.
----------------------------------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want
people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.
----------------------------------------------------------
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or
leaks.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is... comfortable.
----------------------------------------------------------
Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
---
...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
.:::.
':::' [[[[[[[[[[[[ MEMORIAL DAY 2016 ]]]]]]]]]]]]
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>Jokes
Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told
to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two
trains were heading for each other on the same track?"
Billy Bob replied, "I would switch the points for one of the
trains."
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Billy Bob, "and
I'd use the manual lever over there."
"What if that had been struck by lightning?"
"Then," Billy Bob continued, "I'd run back into the signal box
and phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"Well in that case," persevered Billy Bob, "I'd rush down out of
the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing
up there."
"What if that was vandalized?"
"Oh, well then I'd run into town and go get my Uncle Lester."
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"
Billy Bob answered, "Well, Uncle Lester ain't never seen a train
wreck!"
-------
A coffin maker was on his way to deliver one of his coffins, in
the process, his car broke down. Trying not to be late, he put the
coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.
A police officer saw him and told him to stop, so he asked:
"Hey, what are you carrying and where are you going"?
The man replied "I do not like where I was buried so I am
relocating."
The policeman fainted!
-------
A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those
headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”
“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?”
His wife replies, “Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me
to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, ‘I do
not have a headache, I do not have a headache, I do not have a
headache.’ It worked! The headaches are all gone.”
The husband replies, “Well, that’s wonderful.”
His wife then says, “You know, you haven’t exactly been a ball
of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go
see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?”
The husband agrees to try it.
The evening after his appointment, the husband comes home, rips
off his clothes, picks up his wife, and carries her into the
bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, “Don’t move, I’ll be
right back.”
He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later,
jumps into bed, and makes passionate love to his wife like never
before. His wife says, “Wow! That was wonderful!”
The next day, after dinner, the husband carries the wife to the
bedroom again, sits her on the bed and runs quickly to the
bathroom. When he comes back, they make love again that gets her
head spinning.
Same happens the next day, but this time, his wife quietly
follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing in
front of the mirror, saying, “She’s not my wife. She’s not my
wife. She’s not my wife.”
-------
As I was driving home this week and worrying about all the stuff
going on in my life, my family's lives, my friends lives, and
whats happening in Washington, Moscow, Ukraine, the Middle East,
Hillary, Email-gate, Benghazi, Slick Willy, Obama, Pelosi, Reid,
Jeb, Trump, MSNBC, Fox News, and how America is in so much
trouble!
Then I saw a yard sign that said:
NEED HELP? CALL JESUS
1-800-555-1234
Out of curiosity and desperation, I called.........
>
>
>
>
>
>
... A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
-<>-
>Quotes
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I
was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No
good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever
seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to
withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a
good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and
then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential
food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would
stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's
time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish
do in it.
- W. C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to
work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it
will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else
starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too
old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
And the cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.
~~~~
May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.
---
...TeeHee! Thanks Geniann!
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From BizarreNews:
I realize that since the economy has been improving
(supposedly), lenders are being a bit more generous with
their terms, but even still, approving a personal loan to
buy meth seems a little risky.
Maybe that's why police in South Carolina arrested 58-year-
old Grady Carson after he walked into Carolina Title Loans
office in Spartanburg to secure a loan against his vehicle.
According to its web site, the loan company provides "fast
cash to deal with an unexpected expense" and charges interest
rates that begin at 96 percent.
But that didn't deter Carson.
A Carolina Title Loans employee told police that Carson--who
was pacing as he filled out paperwork--told her he "needed
the money to purchase meth."
Since her manager was at another store, the worker "faxed a
help letter" to the second employee, who contacted police.
When officers arrived at the loan business, Carson was hand-
cuffed and a search of his pockets turned up "a glass
container with a off white rock like substance inside."
Carson, cops noted, "stated it was cocaine but he was not
going to smoke it because he did meth."
Carson was charged with narcotics possession and booked into
the county jail.
-<>-
They may not be the most practical, but Chileans definitely
have a flair for the dramatic. This was demonstrated by one
Chilean man who tried to commit suicide by lion.
How do you do that? Well, first you have to find some lions.
Any reasonable sized zoo will do.
This particular man, Franco Luis Ferrada Roman, decided he
had better be naked for this adventure, too.
"We believe that this person entered as a visitor and paid
for his ticket," zoo director Alejandra Montalva said.
"Later he trespassed into an area where the public are not
normally allowed and we understand that he forced the roof
of the lion's enclosure," she said.
"It was from there that he jumped, took off his clothes and
started to attract the lions."
Once inside the lions began "playing" with him. Whether they
were trying to kill him or not, they ended up mauling him
badly.
As there were no quick acting tranquilizers available at the
time of the incident, zoo officials intervened and shot the
lions dead in order to save the man's life.
Roman suvived but is in grave condition.
Montalva told local media that she was "deeply affected" by
the deaths of the two adult lions, one male and one female.
Many on social media agreed with her, and expressed outrage
that the lions were killed because of the selfish act of
one man.
*-- Escaped Inmate returns With SUV For Friends --*
There is minimum-security, and then there is why bother?
Alaska State Troopers said a man who escaped from a minimum-
security facility returned three hours later with an SUV to
pick up some of his fellow inmates. Troopers said in a
dispatch that Joshua Yaska, 20, was seen riding a bicycle
away from Fairbanks' North Star Center correctional facility
about 1:05 a.m. Investigators said Yaska returned about 4:20
a.m. with an Isuzu SUV, which he used to transport an
undisclosed number of his fellow inmates away from the
facility. The halfway house holds up to 143 minimum-security
inmates and staff are instructed not to physically restrain
the inmates from leaving the building. Yaska was being
housed at the North Star Center while awaiting trail for
charges of misdemeanor theft and making a false report.
Yaska remained on the loose as of Monday.
*------------ You're Doing It Wrong ------------*
A mother was arrested after her child fell unconscious when
she sat on his head for one hour. In any other circumstance
this would be nothing more than a kinky fetish story, but
police in Georgia said the victim was the woman's own
2-year-old. 36-year-old Susan Elizabeth Kelley is accused
of placing a towel on the seat of a wooden dining room chair
before she put the child's head on it. She then proceeded to
sit on the child's head with her full body weight for about
one hour. She allegedly told authorities that she did so to
get the child to be submissive. Again; she's been watching
too much fetish porn in the Internets. When the boy became
unconscious, he was taken to a hospital. Doctors called
police after seeing the boy with redness on the head, chest
and back. He is expected to make a full recovery.
*-- Being Polite to Cop Leads to Man's Arrest --*
Politely holding a door open for a police officer has landed
a Massachusetts man in jail. Authorities say Kayvon Mavaddat
was at the Natick Mall when he held the door for the leaving
officer. That officer thought Mavaddat looked familiar, and
went to check his cruiser's computer. The officer found there
were three warrants out for his arrest. The officer returned
to the mall and arrested Mavaddat. 28-year-old Mavaddat was
held without bail at his arraignment when his probation
officer told the judge he routinely skips court dates, court-
ordered drug tests and fails to pay probation fees.
*-- Fake Cop Tases Man In Road Rage Incident --*
A Massachusetts woman is facing charges after police say she
pretended to be a police officer and tased a man in a road
rage incident. Police received a report from a man and his
girlfriend saying Shunae Allen, 35, was "riding their bumper
and honking her horn while frantically flashing her lights."
Allen allegedly followed the couple as they pulled over into
a parking lot. Witnesses told police they saw Allen and the
man arguing. The man told police Allen approached their car,
opened the front passenger door where he was seated and tased
him before telling them she was a police officer with a
license to carry. Police arrested Allen but were not able to
find the taser. She is charged with impersonating a police
officer and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
======;===========;()
#######::::::
#######::::::
#######::::::
jgs #######::::::
#############
#############
#############
#############
#############
#############
A man was trying to pull out of a parking place, and bashed
the bumper of the parked car in front of him. Witnessed by
a handful of pedestrians waiting for a bus, the driver got
out, inspected the damage, and proceeded to write a note
to leave on the windshield of the car he had hit.
The note read:
"Hello. I have just hit your car, and there are some people
here watching me who think that I am writing this note to
leave you my name and phone number. You should be so lucky!"
-<>-
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials
put up an 8-foot fence. The next morning, however, the
kangaroo was out again, idly roaming around the zoo.
The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to ten feet.
Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again
roaming about the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until
the fence was 20 feet high.
Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo,
"How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo replied, "Who knows? Maybe 50 feet. Unless some-
body starts locking the gate at night."
-<>-
A woman was in court charged with the attempted murder of
her husband.
"But why did you stab him over a hundred times?" asked the
judge.
"Oh, your Honor," replied the defendant, "It wasn't my
fault. didn't know how to switch off the electric carving
knife!"
-<>-
A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and
with a deep sigh, started to climb.
About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked
along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and
launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in
a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked
back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to
climb.
About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch,
walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself
off the branch.
Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to
the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.
Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were
two little birds. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said,
"Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"
-<>-
As I Mature
***********
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you
can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people
just aren't worth it.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it
only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting, long after you think
you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless
we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relation-
ship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be
a lot of money to take its place!
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't
working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are
taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just
never go away.
-<>-
"Are you all right?" my seatmate on the plane asked, after
noticing tears roll down my cheeks.
"I'm flying my husband's ashes home for burial," I explained,
"and it just struck me that this will be our last trip
together."
"I know how you feel," she said. "I had my horse for 20 years
and just put him to sleep last week."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
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>60 Fascinating Cat Facts
Cats are the most popular animal on the internet by far. Every day,
an estimated 100 million views are registered to cat videos and
photos. And who can blame us? They're furry, adorable, funny and
always seem to take themselves too seriously. Maybe that's how
they changed from hated animals associated with witches to the
most popular pet in North America and, perhaps, the world.
1. Every year, nearly four million cats are eaten in Asia.
2. On average, cats spend 2/3 of every day sleeping. That means a
nine-year-old cat has been awake for only three years of its life.
3. Unlike dogs, cats do not have a sweet tooth. Scientists believe
this is due to a mutation in a key taste receptor.
4. When a cat chases its prey, it keeps its head level. Dogs and
humans bob their heads up and down.
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5. Female cats tend to be right pawed, while male cats are more
often left pawed. Interestingly, while 90% of humans are right
handed, the remaining 10% of lefties also tend to be male.
6. A cat can’t climb head first down a tree because every claw on
a cat’s paw points the same way. To get down from a tree, a cat
must back down.
7. Cats make about 100 different sounds. Dogs make only about 10.
8. A cat’s brain is biologically more similar to a human brain
than it is to a dog’s. Both humans and cats have identical regions
in their brains that are responsible for emotions.
9. There are more than 500 million domestic cats in the world,
with approximately 40 recognized breeds.
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10. During the time of the Spanish Inquisition, Pope Innocent
VIII condemned cats as evil and thousands of cats were burned.
Unfortunately, the widespread killing of cats led to an explosion
of the rat population, which exacerbated the effects of the Black
Death.
11. During the Middle Ages, cats were associated with witchcraft,
and on St. John’s Day, people all over Europe would stuff them into
sacks and toss the cats into bonfires. On holy days, people
celebrated by tossing cats from church towers.
12. Cats are North America’s most popular pets: there are 73
million cats compared to 63 million dogs. Over 30% of households
in North America own a cat.
13. According to Hebrew legend, Noah prayed to God for help
protecting all the food he stored on the ark from being eaten by
rats. In reply, God made the lion sneeze, and out popped a cat.
14. A cat’s hearing is better than a dog’s. And a cat can hear
high-frequency sounds up to two octaves higher than a human.
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15. A cat can travel at a top speed of approximately 31 mph
(49 km) over a short distance.
16. A cat can jump up to five times its own height in a single
bound.
17. Some cats have survived falls of over 65 feet (20 meters),
due largely to their “righting reflex.” The eyes and balance
organs in the inner ear tell it where it is in space so the cat
can land on its feet. Even cats without a tail have this ability.
18. A cat rubs against people not only to be affectionate but
also to mark out its territory with scent glands around its face.
The tail area and paws also carry the cat’s scent.
19. Researchers are unsure exactly how a cat purrs. Most
veterinarians believe that a cat purrs by vibrating vocal folds
deep in the throat. To do this, a muscle in the larynx opens and
closes the air passage about 25 times per second.
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20. When a family cat died in ancient Egypt, family members would
mourn by shaving off their eyebrows. They also held elaborate
funerals during which they drank wine and beat their breasts. The
cat was embalmed with a sculpted wooden mask and the tiny mummy
was placed in the family tomb or in a pet cemetery with tiny
mummies of mice.
21. Most cats give birth to a litter of between one and nine
kittens. The largest known litter ever produced was 19 kittens,
of which 15 survived.
22. The biggest wildcat today is the Siberian Tiger. It can be
more than 12 feet (3.6 m) long (about the size of a small car) and
weigh up to 700 pounds (317 kg).
23. The smallest wildcat today is the Black-footed cat. The females
are less than 20 inches (50 cm) long and can weigh as little as 2.5
lbs (1.2 kg).
24. Many Egyptians worshiped the goddess Bast, who had a woman’s
body and a cat’s head.
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25. Mohammed loved cats and reportedly his favorite cat, Muezza,
was a tabby. Legend says that tabby cats have an “M” for Mohammed
on top of their heads because Mohammad would often rest his hand
on the cat’s head.
26. While many parts of Europe and North America consider the black
cat a sign of bad luck, in Britain and Australia, black cats are
considered lucky.
27. Some Siamese cats appear cross-eyed because the nerves from
the left side of the brain go mostly into the right eye and the
nerves from the right side of the brain go mostly to the left eye.
This causes some double vision, which the cat tries to correct by
“crossing” its eyes.
28. Cats hate the water because their fur does not insulate well
when it’s wet. The Turkish Van, however, is one cat that likes
swimming. Bred in central Asia, its coat has a unique texture that
makes it water resistant.
29. The Egyptian Mau is probably the oldest breed of cat. In fact,
the breed is so ancient that its name is the Egyptian word for
“cat.”
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30. The costliest cat ever is named Little Nicky, who cost his
owner $50,000. He is a clone of an older cat.
31. A cat usually has about 12 whiskers on each side of its face.
32. A cat’s eyesight is both better and worse than humans. It is
better because cats can see in much dimmer light and they have a
wider peripheral view. It’s worse because they don’t see color as
well as humans do. Scientists believe grass appears red to cats.
33. In the original Italian version of Cinderella, the benevolent
fairy godmother figure was a cat.
34. The little tufts of hair in a cat’s ear that help keep out
dirt direct sounds into the ear, and insulate the ears are called
“ear furnishings.”
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35. The ability of a cat to find its way home is called
“psi-traveling.” Experts think cats either use the angle of the
sunlight to find their way or that cats have magnetized cells in
their brains that act as compasses.
36. Isaac Newton invented the cat flap. Newton was experimenting in
a pitch-black room. Spithead, one of his cats, kept opening the door
and wrecking his experiment. The cat flap kept both Newton and
Spithead happy.
37. The world’s rarest coffee, Kopi Luwak, comes from Indonesia where
a wildcat known as the luwak lives. The cat eats coffee berries and
the coffee beans inside pass through the stomach. The beans are
harvested from the cat's dung heaps and then cleaned and roasted.
Kopi Luwak sells for about $500 for a 450 g (1 lb) bag.
38. A cat’s jaw can’t move sideways, so a cat can’t chew large
chunks of food.
39. A cat almost never meows at another cat, mostly just humans.
Cats typically will spit, purr, and hiss at other cats.
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40. A cat’s back is extremely flexible because it has up to 53
loosely fitting vertebrae. Humans only have 34.
41. Approximately 1/3 of cat owners think their pets are able to
read their minds.
42. Two members of the cat family are distinct from all others:
the clouded leopard and the cheetah. The clouded leopard does not
roar like other big cats, nor does it groom or rest like small
cats. The cheetah is unique because it is a running cat; all
others are leaping cats. They are leaping cats because they slowly
stalk their prey and then leap on it.
43. In Japan, cats are thought to have the power to turn into super
spirits when they die. This may be because according to the
Buddhist religion, the body of the cat is the temporary resting
place of very spiritual people.
44. Most cats had short hair until about 100 years ago, when it
became fashionable to own cats and experiment with breeding.
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45. Cats have 32 muscles that control the outer ear (humans have
only 6). A cat can independently rotate its ears 180 degrees.
46. One reason that kittens sleep so much is that a growth hormone
is released only during sleep.
47. The oldest cat on record was Creme Puff from Austin, Texas, who
lived from 1967 to August 6, 2005, three days after her 38th
birthday. A cat typically can live up to 20 years, which is
equivalent to about 96 human years.
48. A cat has 230 bones in its body. A human has 206. A cat has no
collarbone, so it can fit through any opening the size of its head.
49. A cat’s nose pad is ridged with a unique pattern, just like
the fingerprint of a human.
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50. If they have ample water, cats can tolerate temperatures up to
133 F.
51. Foods that should not be given to cats include onions, garlic,
green tomatoes, raw potatoes, chocolate, grapes, and raisins. Though
milk is not toxic, it can cause an upset stomach and gas. Tylenol
and aspirin are extremely toxic to cats, as are many common
houseplants. Feeding cats dog food or canned tuna that's for human
consumption can cause malnutrition.
52. A 2007 Gallup poll revealed that both men and women were
equally likely to own a cat.
53. A cat’s heart beats nearly twice as fast as a human heart, at
110 to 140 beats a minute.
54. Cats don’t have sweat glands over their bodies like humans do.
Instead, they sweat only through their paws.
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55. Cats spend nearly 1/3 of their waking hours cleaning themselves.
56. Cats are extremely sensitive to vibrations. Cats are said to
detect earthquake tremors 10 or 15 minutes before humans can.
57. In contrast to dogs, cats have not undergone major changes
during their domestication process.
58. A female cat is called a queen or a molly.
59. There are up to 60 million feral cats in the United States
alone.
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60. The claws on the cat’s back paws aren’t as sharp as the claws
on the front paws because the claws in the back don’t retract and,
consequently, become worn.
---
...Absolutely Captivating! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Friendly Fire!-
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Dog Warriors!-
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Lest We Forget 2!-
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WWI Human Art!-
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Freedom Isn't Free!-
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Ray's Freedom Rock!-
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Heroes Truck!-
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Where Was God?-
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Military WWII Posters!-
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Proud Of Our Troops 6!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops6.html
Daily With The Troops 3!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily3.html
Sleeping With The Troops!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sleep.html
Humor With The Troops 4!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humor4.html
Military Motivational Posters!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/military.html
Willie, Joe And Bill In WWII!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wwiipilot.html
USS New York LPD-21 Tribute!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html
Naval Fleet Art!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/navalart.html
Real Angry Birds
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/angrybirds.html
Pets Left Home Alone
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html
Newsworthy Animals 3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newsanimals3.html
Look Who's Talking 6
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking6.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Cloie :)
She sent us a sweet one we have here...
Penguin Rescue Story
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/penguinrescue.html
---
...Love It! Thanks Cloie!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
My favorite family. Just cute.
http://tinyurl.com/hz7z4pa
Magician and comedian Tom Mullica's magic tricks are
amazing and hilarious at the same time.
http://tinyurl.com/h4we63n
---
...Oh My! NO SMOKING ZONE FOR HIM! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Geniann :)
Animals hiding in plain sight
http://tinyurl.com/hlwzrmq
---
...HaHa! Reminds me of these...
Pets In Camouflage
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshiding.html
Invisible Animals
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/invisible.html
Owls In Camouflage
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/owls.html
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"The Centers for Disease Control reports that 80 percent of
public swimming pools they investigated have health and
safety violations. 80 percent! The study concluded with
'enjoy your Memorial Day weekend.'" -Conan O'Brien
"A study by the Pew Research Center determined that more
millennials between the ages of 18 and 34 are living with
their parents than at any other point in history.
Millennials were happy to take the poll, while their parents
were proud of them for finishing the poll." -James Corden
"It's been reported that the head of security for the TSA
has been officially removed from his position. That's right,
he was told to turn in his badge, his uniform, his shoes,
his belt, his keys, bottles over 4 ounces, his laptop, and
any coins in his pockets." -Jimmy Fallon
"There was a brief security scare yesterday when some party
balloons drifted over the White House fence. The White House
staff were pretty worried, especially when they saw Obama
tying those balloons to a lawn chair." -Jimmy Fallon
"A new study has found that beautiful people have totally
different life experiences from the rest of you. I'm sorry,
I meant the rest of us." -Conan O'Brien
"Papa John's salads were among several hundred products
recalled for listeria contamination this weekend. Said a
spokesman for Papa John's, 'We have salads?'" -Seth Meyers
"Happy Birthday to legendary boxer Sugar Ray Leonard, who
turned 60 years old today! You can tell he's getting older
by his new name - Splenda Ray Leonard." -Jimmy Fallon
"This week a California man recorded his wife giving birth,
and accidentally live streamed it to the world on Facebook.
I've heard of people on Facebook oversharing, but ovary
sharing? " -James Corden
"Over the weekend, a man broke the world record for 'Donkey
Kong,' making it through the entire game using up just one
life. That's right - his own." -Conan O'Brien
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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