Happy Memorial Day & More ... :) Shangy I Hope Every One Has Had a Happy Memorial Day Celebration. We had a great one enjoying family we don't often get to see. -------------------------------------------------------------- >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net =========================== >-->From Mary Fairchild: A Memorial Day Prayer !|| !|||| ,/|||| !|'''| `\ | )\ \ ejm / \ \ \ Dear Heavenly Father, As we remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom, we think of how they have followed in the footsteps of your son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Please hold our service men and women in your strong arms. Cover them with your sheltering grace and presence as they stand in the gap for our protection. We also remember the families of our troops, and ask for your unique blessings to fill their homes and your peace, provision and strength to fill their lives. May the members of our armed forces be filled with courage to face each day and may they trust in the Lord's mighty power to accomplish each task. Let our military brothers and sisters feel our love and support. In the name of Jesus. Amen. Mary Fairchild http://christianity.about.com/mbiopage.htm -<>- >From Our Friend John-Paul :) ' * . * ' * * * '* * * * * * >`TO LOOK` Have You ever walked out into the open night?, And just sit, and looked at the starry Sky? Ever come by the Heavenly Sight? Have You ever prayed, and wondered Why? WHO am I, and Why am I here? This Mortal Body, with all it`s aches and pains of age and years, How can I Love, Yet in my Soul must Fear? My Creator, Whom I hold so dear? Will my name be written in The Holy Book, upon Life`s page? Am I truly so wonderfully made? Shall I raise eyes, as my Life plays it`s song? Shall I just Gaze into night? Can I be wrong? Shall I turn the page? And take my place on GOD`S Blessed Stage? We have a Promise, frozen as a mirrow in life`s placid Brook, Beautiful Reflections within it`s depths, Yes, Into the deep, let us look, Watching all the World, in perfect step. Ah`, to see the Universe in a Grain of Sand, And Heaven in the beauty of a Flower, Hold Infinity in the Palm of Your Hand, And Eternity, in the span of It`s Hour. God is in total control, we should know, We have only to Believe and Trust, In HIS Perfect Love, let us ever Grow, For He has Great Plans for `EACH of US`. (PLEASE DON`T MISS IT!) God`s~Love~~~~John-Paul Remember: " Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for You: = O /|\/` \| '|\ / / ejm 1. Jesus Christ 2. The American Soulder One died for your soul, The other for your freedom. IT IS SO SAD THAT SO MANY FORGETS BOTH OF THEM. Always~~~~John-Paul To My home pages: http://www.geocities.com/jpw1936/index.html --- ...Wonderfully said, Thank You John-Paul! -<>- _|_ | .-'''''-. .-' '-. .-' :::::_::::: '-. ___/ ==:...:::-:::...:== \___ /_____________________________\ ':'-._________________________.-'_ ':::\ @-,`-[-][-^-][-]-`,-@ / _| |_ '::| .-------------------. ||_ @ _| ::|=|* ___ _ ___ *|=|'.| | ':| |' ))_) )) ))_) '| |::.^| _:|=|' ((`\ (( (( '|=|::::::. _| || |' _ '| |:::::::. |_ |=|'1634 _( )_ 1789'|=|':::::. | || |' ( (_ ~ _) ) '| | ':::' |^||=|* ) (_) ( *|=| '::' | '-------------------' .::::' |_____________________.::::::' .'___________________.::::::'' |_______________.::::'':::''' .'_____________.::::::''::::'' .:::'''' LGB .'::::' .:::::''':. .:::::' >Memorial Day From SermondFodder: Hey All: This is Memorial Day Weekend here in the US of A. It is a day when we take time to remember those who have fallen in battle to keep our country free and to help others know the wonderful freedom we have here. Memorial Day was initiated after the American Civil War (The War Between the States to us Southerners) by General John A. Logan who happens to be from about 60 miles north of here. I was looking for something that might fittingly share the significance of this day to Americans. I happened to run across the item below which comes from Fort Campbell, Kentucky, which is about 50 miles south of here. Before you move on to it I wanted to share a story Retired Col. Ollie North told recently. On the cover of his latest book is a young soldier carrying a wounded enemy insurgent on his back. North explained that he was with other journalists embedded with a convoy moving through the countryside of Iraq. They were attacked by insurgents ahead of his group of vehicles. As bullest flew a young American medic ran past the HumVee loaded with reporters and ran into the middle of the firefight. A few minues later he came running back carrying a wounded American Soldier and dropped him at a makeshift medical center other soldiers had set up behind them. He immediately turned and ran back into the line of fire to retrieve another wounded man, this time an Iraqi soldier and returned him to the aid stations. The young medic again headed back into the thick of the firefight a third time, running several hundred yards as hard as he could go. This time he came back at a dead run carrying a wounded insurgent who had been captured. Some of the reporters yelled at him and asked why he had picked up a wounded enemy. Without pausing he yelled, "We're Americans, this is what we do," and ran back into the thick of battle to retrieve yet more wounded. I have had several friends who have served in Iraq and Afganistan, and I currently have family members serving in the military. I've heard a number of stories like this about our young people who are serving their country with honor in some really tough situations. I think the attitude of that young soldier is a great representative of the American Spirit. Keith The Sermon Fodder Guy -<>- .---. ___ /_____\ /\.-`( '.' ) / / \_-_/_ \ `-.-"`'V'//-. `.__, |// , \ |Ll //Ll|\ \ |__// | \_\ /---|[]==| / / \__/ | \/\/ /_ | Ll_\| |`^"""^`| | | | | | | | | | | | | L___l___J jgs |_ | _| (___|___) ^^^ ^^^ >Stop to Salute It was raining "cats and dogs" and I was late for physical training. Traffic was backed up at Fort Campbell, Ky., and was moving way too slowly. I was probably going to be late and I was growing more and more impatient. The pace slowed almost to a standstill as I passed Memorial Grove, the site built to honor the soldiers who died in the Gander airplane crash, the worst redeployment accident in the history of the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault). Because it was close to Memorial Day, a small American flag had been placed in the ground next to each soldier's memorial plaque. My concern at the time, however, was getting past the bottleneck, getting out of the rain and getting to PT on time. All of a sudden, infuriatingly, just as the traffic was getting started again, the car in front of me stopped. A soldier, a private of course, jumped out in the pouring rain and ran over toward the grove. I couldn't believe it! This knucklehead was holding up everyone for who knows what kind of prank. Horns were honking. I waited to see the chewing that I wanted him to get for making me late. He was getting soaked to the skin. His BDUs were plastered to his frame. I watched-as he ran up to one of the memorial plaques, picked up the small American flag that had fallen to the ground in the wind and the rain, and set it upright again. Then, slowly, he came to attention, saluted, ran back to his car, and drove off. I'll never forget that incident. That soldier, whose name I will never know, taught me more about duty, honor, and respect than a hundred books or a thousand lectures. That simple salute -- that single act of honoring his fallen brother and his flag -- encapsulated all the Army values in one gesture for me. It said, "I will never forget. I will keep the faith. I will finish the mission. I am an American soldier." I thank God for examples like that. And on this Memorial Day, I will remember all those who paid the ultimate price for my freedom, and one private, soaked to the skin, who honored them. - from Captain John Rasmussen~ United Sttates Army (via Guidewords) -<>- .. * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .$$$$. * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. .$$$$$ * * * * * * * * * * ::::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::' * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$F * * * * * * * * * * $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$d$$$$$$$" ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::; $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::; ^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$" ^$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::" ""$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$L ;; ;::::::::::::::::;; ;;:::. $$$$$$" "" $$$$$; DShepherd ^$$" $$$$ "" >Here is a site I use to print the American Flag from - http://printourflag.tripod.com/ Once there, Scroll down to the really big flag picture. Right-Click on it with your mouse. Select the option - View Image and click on it. Now you have the big flag image on your screen by itself so you can Print the image from here or copy it to your favorite place to print it out. It makes a nice page image to tape in your window or decorate with. -<>- |\ |\ |\ || .---. || .---. || .---. ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||/_____\ ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) ||( '.' ) || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ || \_-_/_ :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. :-"`'V'//-. / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / , |// , `\ / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | / /|Ll //Ll|| | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | /_/||__// || | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \ \/---|[]==|| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | \/\__/ | \| | /\|_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | /|/_ | Ll_\ | `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| `--|`^"""^`||_| | | ||/ | | ||/ | | ||/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | L___l___J L___l___J L___l___J |_ | _| |_ | _| |_ | _| jgs (___|___) (___|___) (___|___) ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^ >Here Are Some Troop And Memorial Day Links For You: Hero http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hero.html WWI Human Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html Why My Son? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/why.html Daily With The Troops http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily.html Daily With The Troops 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/daily2.html Humor With The Troops http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humor.html Sleeping With The Troops http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sleep.html Bleed America http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bleed.html Freedom Isn't Free http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/freedom.html Rolling Memorial http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trucking.html Where Was God? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/where.html The Story Of The Eagle http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html USA & Troops Animated Graphics http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html *~* PLEASE Be sure to check out and Pass On These Pages! --- T H A N K Y O U --- =========================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Boy That Deer Can Kick! . _, |`\__/ / \ . .( | __T| / | _.---=======' | What do you call a deer that can kick // {} a ball with his left and right feet? `| , , {} \ /___; ,' ) ,-;` `\ // | / ( ;|| ||`\\ ||| bambidextrus || \\ ||| jgs )\ )\ )|| `" `" `"" --- The REAL Bambi & Thumper http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bambi.html =============================================================== +---------------------- Bizarre Laws ----------------------+ GEORGIA It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroner's office. You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fightin'" words. In Kennesaw, every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind. In Atlanta, One man may not be on another man's back. Signs are required to be written in English. No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road. --- ...Now, finally, we know the truth! Q: Why Did the chicken cross the road? A: To get a citation. ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Tony In Australia :) [A blind fish with it's seeing eye dog fish! :) () , O -. )', \'._.,-" c '-,_ o ) _,.c cc =[]L] /." ', c __.` -' \('---' '=.____ '-. O \ 0 , \|\_/) \-, |',T( 66,_ o ) '-" \\.___Y) ) ,-.Y _.G snd /-" /.' This pretty much sums it all up…………. There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I would marry you." One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, "Now that you can see the world, will you Marry me?" The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: "Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine." -<>- This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations. *************** Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't speak. *************** Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat. *************** Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion. ************** Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven. *************** Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren. *************** Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets. *************** Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. *************** And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. *************** Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER. *************** And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around. *************** The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. ---- ...Excellent! Flipping it to the 'Orangy Side' Thank You Tony :) ===================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: Ways to Turn a Man Down .======================================. | ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ | | \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| | | _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| | '===================================== ,sSSSs DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "( .:. SSS@ =/ \~/ C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_ ___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.- [____________________________________] \ /\// | ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/ | (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ; | | | | | | | | | | |____| | | | | | | | | | | \ |\ | | | | | | | | | | ) ) ) | |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/ | I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ | jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\ Y\_\ HE. "Can I buy you a drink?" SHE. "Actually I'd rather have the money" HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours! SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!! HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!! HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share!!! HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!! HE: Your face must turn a few heads! SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!! HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out! SHE: Okay, get out!!! HE: I think I could make you very happy SHE: Why? Are you leaving? -<>- >Great Answers to Pickup Lines: Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman:"That's in the phone book too." Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not Enter" Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman:"Unfertilized!" Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then why aren't you leaving me alone?" Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy: Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing." Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today." Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there? ================================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From GrassFire: We've identified 21 practical ways to measure your one-day "Carbon Belch." Go here to calculate your total: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=7612&RID=16216415 If you are sick and tired of all the guilt-inducing, fear mongering efforts of the Climate Alarmists, then take a few moments to calculate your "Carbon Belch." Steve Elliott, Grassfire.org P.S. Once you calculate your one-day "Carbon Belch," please be sure to join with so many others in taking the Carbon Belch Day Pledge: http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=7613&RID=16216415 -<>- >From LifeScript: 7 Memorial Day Dishes to Remember Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer, and what better way to celebrate the long weekend than by dining al fresco? These dishes incorporate an array of seasonal produce such as peaches, berries, tomatoes and peppers. And, of course, no respectable summer shindig is complete without firing up the grill; check out three mouth-watering recipes to please the carnivores. So whether you’re playing host or planning for a potluck, get a taste of summer with this memorable Memorial Day menu… http://www.lifescript.com/HA/52578_4238409_12063_0.htm -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: War bill may be done by Memorial recess Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., says an emergency war spending bill before Congress should be finished before Congress's Memorial Day recess. During a floor session Tuesday, Reid said getting the bill completed quickly would "be extremely difficult for us," The Hill reported. He said chances of securing the necessary 60 votes needed for passage of the $194 billion measure was cloudy. "In the past, war funding has been (approved) because of a lot of arm-twisting and cajoling," Reid said. "I don't know if the votes are here this time." The bill contains $165 billion for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan and more than $25 billion in domestic programs, including extending unemployment benefits by 13 weeks and expanding educational benefits for military personnel under the GI bill. It also calls for troops to be redeployed from Iraq by June 2009. Democrats said June 15 was a deadline for getting the bill done, the Washington publication said. The Pentagon warned it may have to furlough employees if more money is not approved by then. ,mMm.,------.,mMm. (GNP' `?ND) P dMm. ,mMb ? ( ?X_O O_XP ) ( qp ) bdsm \ `--'`--' / _____ ,__) (--|__) _.._ _| _, _| (_|| |(_|(_| ( Two pandas missing in China quake region Forestry crews in China looked for two giant pandas that disappeared after an earthquake devastated Sichuan Province, an official said Tuesday. Xiang Beirong of the Sichuan forestry agency said the China Wolong Giant Panda Protection and Research Center was conducting the search, the official Xinhua news agency reported. "Both pandas are adults and they are more capable to escape from dangers than younger ones," Xiang said. Two other pandas were injured when their living quarters collapsed in the earthquake last week. -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Police: Men shot each other with Tasers ---------- BOULDER, Colo. - Police in Boulder, Colo., say a security guard and a man upset by having his car booted shot each other simultaneously with stun guns during an argument. Sgt. Pat Wyton said Casey Dane, a guard with a private firm called Colorado Security, and Harvey Epstein engaged in a heated argument behind Mamacitas restaurant, the Boulder Daily Camera reported. Epstein, a bartender at Mamacitas, was upset that his car had been booted for parking illegally and retrieved a set of bolt cutters to attempt to free his vehicle, Wyton said. He said Dane ordered Epstein to put down the bolt cutters because he felt threatened and told him he would shoot him with his Taser weapon if he did not comply. Wyton said the guard "decided to shoot the guy," not knowing that Epstein was wielding the same type of Taser. "They shot each other," Wyton said. "It was just kind of a bone-head deal." He said neither man required medical attention. Epstein was arrested on suspicion of felony menacing and use of a stun gun, Wyton said. He was taken to the Boulder County Jail. ==_a=_========()=== /|_|_| || | |`|`|______[__]_ jrei '-(O)-------(O)(O)' -- Man buys firetruck for 'peace of mind' ---------- CHICAGO - An Illinois man said he was trying to get some "peace of mind" when he bought a red firetruck and built a garage for it at his suburban Chicago home. Peter Mitchell, 59, said the 1975 Ward LaFrance pumper-tanker he bought for $7,000 on eBay is an asset to his Schaumburg Township neighborhood, as it could provide 1,500 gallons of water in an emergency, the Chicago Tribune reported Thursday. Mitchell said he also built a gravity water system, enabling his truck or the fire department's trucks to access water from his pool if needed. Some neighbors are less than thrilled about Mitchell's new truck and 15-foot tall garage. "Personally, if my house caught on fire, I wouldn't want this guy on my property. Why would I want his dirty pool water?" Audrey Mitchell, who isn't related to her garage-building neighbor, told the Tribune. Despite criticism, Mitchell has stood by his truck. "The peace of mind of having the water made my day," he said to the newspaper. -- Pot-smoking man crashes into police car ----------- COCOA, Fla. - Florida motorist faces several criminal charges after he backed into a police car and took off running when officers caught him smoking pot, police said. Travis Lee Taylor, 28, was arrested and charged with possession of cocaine with intent to sell, possession of marijuana, resisting without violence, resisting with violence and violation of probation, WKMG-TV, Orlando, Fla. reported Thursday. Cocoa, Fla., police said Taylor backed his car into their cruiser after they pulled up behind him while he was smoking pot in a parked car. After the crash, Taylor proceeded to run from officers before they caught him, officials told WKMG. Officials said Taylor, who was on felony probation for selling cocaine, also received a citation for improper driving. ================================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: ____ _ /////|\\ ``````\\\ `/` ))) \`, ((( `--- ,\\\ ,---/ )),))) / , `(( ((( `--. ) `__)) ________ | | ,-./\ \ _,-' \ \__,-. \ \,-' /`.__,-'_,-\ `-. / \____`--'____________ | \ Starshine I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. 'Why?' my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground. You don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs", I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Momma, how do you know all this stuff. You are so smart.' I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mom Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mom.' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "Oh… I get it!' she beamed, So, if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad. " ''Exactly”, I replied back with a big smile on my face. -<>- Black and White Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" *** + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- Church Bulletin Bloopers The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar. To subscribe, send a blank email to: scream_of_the_crop-subscribe@yahoogroups.com =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: Walter arrived at his office late one morning and was greeted with giggles from the pretty young receptionist. "What are you laughing at?" asked Walter. "There's a big black smudge on your face," said the girl. "Oh, that!" said Walter. "That's easy to explain. I saw my wife off on a month's vacation this morning; I took her to the station and kissed her good-bye." "But what about the smudge?" "As soon as she got on board, I ran up and kissed the engine." -<>- W [ ] .__. .__. E ._. |::| |::| ._. |\ |:| ._. |::| |::| |/| \ \\|/ |:|_|/| |::| |::|_ |/| |-( )- |:|"|/|_|::| |::|\|_|/| _ | V L |:|"|/|||::| |::|\|||/||:| \ ` ___ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | \/ / ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~pwh During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "Hey, I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers borders on the ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end coolly explained. "I believe, sir, you are complaining about your room number." -<>- The day I started my construction job, I was in the office filling out an employee form when I came to the section that asked: Single____, Married____, Divorced____. I marked single. Glancing at the man next to me, who was also filling out his form, I noticed he hadn't marked any of the blanks. Instead he had written, 'Yes, in that order.' -<>- At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We were havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, do ya fellows wanna go hunting?'" "And then what happened?" the officer interrupted. "From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'" -<>- Two women archeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum. Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decomposed. Says one: "We don't seem to be having much luck." The other replies: "Keep on digging, honey, a good Mayan is hard to find!" ================================================================== >-->Gotta Love A Murder Mystery! - Here's one From LisaGardner: Dear Reader: Annabelle Granger is not your typical heroine. For one thing, she has just picked up the morning paper to find herself declared dead. At an abandoned mental institute, the bodies of six girls have been discovered, one of them bearing a locket inscribed with Annabelle’s name. Now, working with Boston detective Bobby Dodge to unravel a decades-old riddle, Annabelle is on a desperate collision course with her past—and there’s no place left to HIDE. {http://www.lisagardner.com/murder_mystery_suspense/hide/hide.htm} HIDE. {http://www.lisagardner.com/murder_mystery_suspense/hide/hide.htm}, my ninth New York Times bestselling thriller is now available from Bantam Books in paperback. Declared, “an angsty, gripping psycho-killer saga..." by Entertainment Weekly, HIDE {http://www.lisagardner.com/murder_mystery_suspense/hide/hide.htm} also received starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Booklist. And just in case you’re wondering what such a nice girl like me is doing writing such dark, twisted books, check out my video {http://www.LisaGardner.com/hide_video.htm}. Happy reading. Lisa Gardner ================================================================ >-->From TheMouthPiece: ______ | O | | ,|._ | | `A _|__ |__|\_\ \ O \ ._|.) \___A _|_ |\ SSt After much careful historical research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother Please Gogh His dizzy aunt Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes Gotta Gogh The constipated uncle Cant Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois Chica Gogh The cousin who wasn't allowed to leave the country: M. Barr Gogh His magician uncle Wheredid D. Gogh His Mexican cousin Ahmee Gogh The Mexican cousin's anglo half brother Grin Gogh The nephew who drove a stagecoach Wellsfar Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt Tan Gogh A sister who loved disco Go Gogh The bird lover uncle Flamin Gogh His nephew psychoanalyst E. Gogh The fruit loving cousin Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking Wayto Gogh The little bouncy nephew Poh Gogh And his niece who travels the country in a van Winnie Bay Gogh ========================================================= >-->From SermondFodder: Tea Time _ ____( )_____ ___ | | ____ \ \ _---__________---_ / __ \ \ \ / \/ / \ \ _______| |_____/ \/____\ \____________________ | | / \ | | \ \__| | | | _____________ \ | | | | | |/\ \ | | / / |___________| \ \__\ /__/ / \-----------/ / \ /____/ |---------|__/ \____________________/ / \ _____ / \ Vicky Wilks |__________________| \___________/ One day my wfie was out and I was left in charge of the baby. The little one was about 18 months old at the time. Someone had given her a little tea set as a gift and it had quickly become one of her favorite toys. I was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when she brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my wife returned home. I made her wait in the living room to watch the toddler bring me a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Mom waited, and sure enough, here comes baby down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. My wife watched me dutifully drink it all up with the proudest smile on her face and tears welling up in her eyes. She then busted out laughing and asked, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place the baby can reach to get water is the toilet?' To subscribe send an e-mail to: Sermon_Fodder-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ===================================================================== >-->Links For Your Memorial Day :) Gas Alternatives: http://tinyurl.com/y39ofg -<>- >From LynnLynn Links: AII POW-MIA Chronology of US Hostile Engagements Post-Vietnam http://www.aiipowmia.com/other/hostilechron.html The Vietnam War http://www.vietnampix.com/ Memorial Day Tribute http://www.100megsfree2.com/srscherr/scherr/memorial.htm Observing Memorial Day http://www.usmemorialday.org/observe.htm Memorial Day http://www.josdreamland.com/MemorialDay.html Taps http://wandascountryhome.com/taps/ Hero http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hero.html Judy w/ The Marine http://frommyheart2u.com/patriotic/themarine John w/ Silence On The Line http://heavens-gates.com/memorialday/ Memorial Day http://www.usmemorialday.org/ National Cemeteries http://www.cem.va.gov/CEM/CEMS/LISTCEM.ASP U.S. Constitution http://www.constitution.org/constit_.htm Fallen Heroes Memorial http://www.fallenheroesmemorial.com/ -<>- Arabian Guy http://www.buffalosjokes.com/12141.htm Baby http://www.buffalosjokes.com/12142.htm 2005 Armor http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21701.htm 2216 http://www.buffalosjokes.com/21602.htm Pepsi http://www.buffalosjokes.com/60547.htm -<>- HI to every one on this Fine memorial day ,I wanted to post this on Memorial day but being that it fell on my 7th year wedding anniversary also I figured I would wait considering people may be out of town and having a blast with there families ,Like I said today is my anniversary and also It will be 2 years now that my aunt Lynn has went to that great place up above, So I thought it would be better listed in the links the next day when everyone could take a few minutes out of there day and check out this site and send aunt Lynn a little prayer also ..Hope you are all recoved from yesterdays events,, Welcome to summer (Thank God ) for that too :) It's been long missed ..Well talk to you soon and enjoy ... Melissa In Loving Memory of LynnLynn (1953 - May 26 2006) We sure miss you. http://heavens-gates.com/justthinking/ Lissa's Memorial To~OUR FAMILIES http://montesredesign.com/ghosts/ourfamilies.HTML To SUbscribe send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Obama is expected to clinch the majority of the delegates, but there are delegates, superdelegates, pledged delegates, Lemon-Pledge delegates and, of course, the farmer and the delegates." -Jimmy Kimmel "Starbucks announced they are going to do away with their topless mermaid logo. For what they charge for a cup of coffee it should be served by a topless mermaid." -Jay Leno "The music producer Lou Perlman was sentenced today to 25 years in prison. That's outrageous! He's the guy who created In Sync and the Backstreet Boys. I would have given him the chair." -Craig Ferguson "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." - Elbert Hubbard "No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin "To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other." - Jack Handey "The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you're not attrac- tive. You are leaking." -Fran Lebowitz "If California can't solve the energy crisis, it will spread to the rest of the nation, and the economy will collapse, and we will become a primitive society where we all run around naked with spears and refuse to attend meetings. Wouldn't that be GREAT?" --Dave Barry "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something which you'd like to have dinner with." -Anonymous woman >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales && Service You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************