Happy National Pig Day... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our ShangyFunList:
Group Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
.
.
.
. ,-,--.
__| //``-, \
\_`\ )\a-a-? \
\ \_`(_=_/_-`__
\__, , \| |
_ _,' ___7 ) |
(_)(_`__(_,---' |
( _( ) |
/ /_| |________|
__/__/__|__|_________)
_________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic
I am very pleased to announced we have 3 new sponsors!
Catster is a cat magazine and cat website where cat lovers come
together and get expert advice about cat behavior, cat health and
cat news. Be sure to check out their pages here...
,
,-. _,---._ __ / \
/ ) .-' `./ / \
( ( ,' `/ /|
\ `-" \'\ / |
`. , \ \ / |
/`. ,'-`----Y |
( ; | '
| ,-. ,-' | /
| | ( | hjw | /
) | \ `.___________|/
`--' `--'
Why Do Cats Like Boxes?
Let’s answer an age-old question — Why do cats like boxes? Do cats
prefer certain types of boxes? What boxes should cats avoid? Do big
cats like boxes, too?
https://www.catster.com/cat-behavior/why-do-cats-like-boxes
And If YOU need a box - any box - check out their Custom Boxes!
Create a product, mailer, or shipping box that’s tailored to your
preferences in size, material, color, quantity, and design. They
have an Easy-to-use online design tool, Customizable sizes,
materials, and coatings and No minimum quantity to order!
https://www.nextdayflyers.com/custom-box-printing
Our 2nd new sponsor is RoofClaim.com. They are available for all
your repairs on storm-damaged residential & commercial roofs through
the use of advanced technology. RoofClaim.com is an industry leading
technology company serving communities in major markets around the
U.S. They've built a network of professionals to deliver
comprehensive services for every roofing project. Be sure to check
them out here...
https://www.facebook.com/RoofClaimUS/
,;;:;,
;;;;;
,:;;:; ,'=.
;:;:;' .=" ,'_\
':;:;,/ ,__:=@
';;:; =./)_
jgs `"=\_ )_"`
``'"`
Here's a handy bit of information for you from the experts -
How Can You Keep Animals Off Your Roof?
https://tinyurl.com/22r8hhwu
Our 3rd sponsor is Cookist.com. They've got a host of fun food
ideas like this one...
\\\
____ ________```
\ =|- [________] \
| =| | _ | | \ __
ejm |__=|- O--(_) `.______.' \ O=======(__)
/|\
(/(|(\
The 15 weirdest avocados you’ve ever seen
Rounded, square, heart-shaped; there’s a fine line between serving
food in a creative way and making it almost impossible to eat.
Sometimes less is more, and that’s okay.
https://www.cookist.com/the-15-weirdest-avocados-you-ve-ever-seen/
And if you're looking for a yummy guacamole dip recipe, they've
got a perfect one for you! Try out their Best Guacamole Recipe:
I don’t know about you, but when a homemade guacamole recipe hits
the table, I’m ready for the fiesta! Why wait though when you can
make it yourself? This authentic guacamole recipe is quick, easy,
and delicious!
https://www.howtocook.recipes/best-guacamole-recipe/
Take a few moments and check out each of these! You can be sure I
only go with the best sponsors. Why? Because I care About you! :)
-<>-
>2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This sizzling hot new page is from my daughter Tammy and KarenF.
God's creation is full of surprises and crabs are no different.
While you might think a crab is a crab, think again! They are
actually quite interesting and you might even come to think of
them as being not only funny but a little on the cute side too.
This page has lots of Smiles for you with its many videos. Be
sure to check it out for a few chuckles too:
/\
( / @ @ ()
\\ __| |__ /
\/ " \/
/-| |-\
/ /-\ /-\ \
/ /-`---'-\ \
/ \ tre
Funny Crabs
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/crabs.html
---
...HaHaHa! Pretty Cool! Thanks Ladies!
Our next too hot to handle new page is from my daughter Tammy
and our friends LouiseAu and Geniann. It's a fun one to enjoy
your winter season by seeing how others play in the snow. Some
people sure have an awesome talent with their snow sculpting!
It may even inspire you to have a little creative snow fun too!
Be sure to give this page a few moments of your time and watch
the video for more Smiles!
. o
.
.
__O__/ _
/ / _H_ W
/ (")/
'\/\ (.)
| ( . )
( ` ( ` ( ' ` ) ( ` )
VK
Snow Sculpture Art 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowart2.html
---
...Wow! Super Amazing! Thanks Ladies!
-<>-
*~* We Had A SUPER FUN Month Of Caring And Sharing Last Month!
.-. _
.--""" / { `.__
( ( _ .e"8a-. J ' \
`.._, \ /_`\/8P '.--\/8P-' )
.-. \ e8a `.`. `" / o o`._..--'
(;88`-.. \ ""`. `--.>#--.._/ `.-.
`8_ 8P`. :_e8P .a. _.' |`\_, \ /-.
`.` ,8 ^P" e8P 8a 2 '7.__7" \
\ `": `. ,8P _ /_\ ' /
;e8| 98P .-' `7 `--'
|`8: .e8a._..e8" .' :
: 88P" .8P`88,8P' /
Y8/88 eP"| `YP" /
`. `M " :-. .'
: .'_ ; _.'
\ \ '.' `/_.-e8`,.--.
`-: : .'"" " 8P :
`""`.e8a ;
`"""--. / fsc
`---'
>Be Sure To Visit And Share All Of Our New Pages...
Land That Made Me, Me!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/land.html
Sushi The Shoebill Stork!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sushi.html
Chuckles!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chuckles.html
Husband's Love Story!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/husbandslove.html
World's Smallest Fox!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fox.html
Whale Rescue 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whalerescue3.html
Budding Photographers 3!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/buddingphotographers3.html
Life's Many Roads!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifesmanyroads.html
.---._ _.-'"""'-._ _.---.
:.---._`.: .- -. ;.'_.---.;
: ' `.': .`.' ` ;
`....-':'::. 0 0 .' :;`-....'
:.:'_:---:_`::;
.--._ `:_( )_:' _.--.
.----. ``-.' \ / `.-'' .----.
: : .---'': `-.-' :--''''-. : :
___: :____.--''`. : .'``--._____: :_____
: :_.'| ' | `''"'|"'' | ` `._; :
____`-'____|_______|_______|_______|_______|___`-'______
| | | | | | |
______|_______|_______|_______|_______|_______|_______|___
| | | | | | |
_|_______|_______|_______|_______|_______|_______|________
jgs | | | | | | |
____|_______|_______|_______|_______|_______|_______|_____
~ May God Abundantly Bless All Our Thoughtful Contributors! ~
=======================================================
>-->From SmileZilla:
Seem to be or not seem to be....
\
,,,,,,
/e ''(
(_ ` \
___> \
/ ,_\-.___ \_
/ _)/ / \
| \ / ` _ |
__\____/ / ' |
/ _ /______/
/ _/ \,_____/o (
\__)/` \
/ \__________/_/_
_/ \ \ )/ \
/ / | /\ (
\_____/ ___/ \ \ _/ \
______/_/___|_| ) \ /
/ o\ o\ / / /\
b'ger,,,'-----^--',,,,,,',,|_,,\_ ,,\/,,
Two archeologists, exploring a remote mountain in Tibet came across
a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. It stood almost
400 foot tall, and its bodily details were accurate down to the
fingernails and teeth.
"It looks real enough to talk," says one.
"Lets try," says the other and turning to the statue he asks it its
name.
No answer.
"How old are you?"
No answer.
Finally. one shouts out, "What is the square root of 64?"
Suddenly, the mountain shakes as the giant statue rises onto its feet
and puts its hand on its chin. Then after about ten seconds, the
statue answers in a roaring voice, "Eight."
"Of course!" says the scientist, "... It only stands to reason."
-<>-
______
_\ _~-\___
= = ==(____AA____D
\_____\___________________,-~~~~~~~`-.._
/ o O o o o o O O o o o o o o O o |\_
`~-.__ ___..----.. )
`---~~\___________/------------`````
= ===(_________D
-Rolan
"Stewardess!"
"Yes, Sir?"
"I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the
same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie and there are no windows
blinds so I can't sleep."
"Captain, shut up and land the plane."
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
March 1 is National Pig Day, Peace Corps Day, Peanut Butter Lovers'
Day, Plan a Solo Vacation Day and World Compliment Day
March 2 is Old Stuff Day
March 3 is Caregiver Appreciation Day, I Want You to be Happy Day,
If Pets Had Thumbs Day, National Anthem Day and Peach Blossom Day
March 4 is Holy Experiment Day and Hug a GI Day
March 5 is Employee Appreciation Day, Multiple Personality Day,
National Salesperson Day and World Day of Prayer
March 6 is Dentist's Day and National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is Namesake Day, National Cereal Day and National Crown Roast
of Pork Day
=======================================================
>-->From Mikey'sFunnies:
The seven-year old told her mom that a little boy in her class asked
her to play doctor.
"Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened, honey?"
"Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the
insurance company."
-<>-
_
|\_,,____
( o__o \/
/(..) \
(_ )--( _)
/ ""--"" \
,===,=| |-,,,,-| |==,==
|d | WW | WW |
|s | | | | |
In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to
discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a
wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her peace.
When she was done, one of the old farmers stood up and said, "What
does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows
how many toes a pig has?"
Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots, sir, and
count them yourself."
-<>-
On a balmy day in New York, four priests swapped their clerical garb
for polos, khakis, and a round of golf.
After several really horrible shots, their caddy asked, "You guys
wouldn't be priests by any chance?"
"Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "How did you know?"
"Easy," said the caddy. "I've never seen such bad golf and such
clean language!"
-<>-
Last October my wife bought a magnolia tree from the local nursery,
but after only a few weeks the leaves shriveled. It appeared to be
on its last legs.
My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand
an explanation.
"I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager.
"Good," said my wife. "What's it suffering from?"
"Autumn," he replied
-<>-
_--_
( A's)
/___7
.~~\ /~~.
/""_ V \
om /____/ /
.mmmC="_ _/
-----===(((((}{).MMM "" | `"---"
..mMMM"" | \
( )" \ /\ |
/ / \ \
/" / \ \
\__/" \__/
'94 the wolfe / / | |
.^V^. .^V^.
+-+ +-+
As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for
returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season.
When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that
belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their
families in a waiting area.
I heard one man say to his wife, "Look, honey, here comes your
anesthesiologist."
-<>-
The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace.
"How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?"
Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "Who'll give
us the reason for being opposed to war?"
A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand.
"Alex?" The teacher said.
"I hate war," Alex said, "because wars make history, and I hate
history."
=========================================================
)\ /|
.-/'-|_/ |
__ __,-' ( / \/
.-'" "'-..__,-'"" -o.`-._
/ '/
*--._ ./ _.--
| _.-'
: .-/
\ )_ /
\ _) / \(
`. /-.___.---'( / \\
( / \\ \( L\
\( L\ \\
\\ \\
L\ L\
[nabis]
>-->Happy National Pig Day! :)
(\____/)
/ @__@ \
( (oo) )
`-.~~.-'
/ \
@/ \_
(/ / \ \)
jgs WW`----'WW
>Piggy Quotes
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says,
"Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck." Bartender
says, "I was talking to the duck."
— Rodney Dangerfield
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
— George Carlin
The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I
learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty;
and besides, the pig likes it.
— George Bernard Shaw
Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and
annoys the pig.
— Robert A. Heinlein
__ __
\/---\/
). .(
( (") )
) (
/ \ hjw
( )`97
( \ /-\ / )
w'W W'w
I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete
pig.
— Bill Bailey
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
— Steven Wright
I think the most horrible name for a crime has to be manslaughter.
... "I slaughtered a man! Just like a pig! Put him on a spit and
put an apple in his mouth!"
— Brian Regan
When they played, it wasn't music. It was the sound of chaos. I knew
it was the sound of chaos because you could hear pigs being
slaughtered. Women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth,
and there were sounds so horrible that I cannot repeat them to you,
or you would flee from this room in horror!
— Lewis Black
___________________________
/ \
( Oh well, so much for Betsy. )
\ __________________________/
|/
^..^ '..'
_||__(oo)____||_____(oo)_||__________||_
-||--"--"----||-----"--"-||----------||-
_||_( __ )___||____( __ )||__________||_
-||--"--"----||-----"--"-||--'..'----||-
|| || || m(oo)m || -Ian F Stewart-
I grew up on a pig farm in southeast Nebraska.
When I started doing the Blue Collar Tour, I thought it was kind
of funny because I faked my accent, so everybody thought I lived
in an apartment somewhere. But I grew up on a pig farm.
— Larry the Cable Guy
I will never deny that life isn't fair.
It seems as though when a woman leaves a man she is strong and
independent, but when a man leaves a woman he is a pig and a
jerk.
— Criss Jami
,.
(_|,.
,' /, )_______ _
__j o``-' `.'-)'
(") \'
`-j |
`-._( /
hjw |_\ |--^. /
/_]'|_| /_)_/
/_]' /_]'
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale.
Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
— Ambrose Bierce
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
_____
/`.---.`\
/ /.---.\ \
; |/ e e \| ;
; \| ^ |/ |
| \_=_/ |
|.-"` `"-.|
/ `'-...-'` \
| |
| , |
\ './|\.' /
;._(/:\)_.;
|| : : ||
|| ; : ||
|| : : ||
|| '.' ||
|| + ||
|| ||
|| ||
|'-.___.-'|
| |
'-.__ __.-'
jgs (_/`\_)
>SMILES
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I
must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the
convent.'
'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of
Chardonnay.'
--------
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was
drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army
issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his
hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That
afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been
looking for Herman for 51 years.
--------
A wife texts her husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows
frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really screwed-up now."
--------
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan
arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin'
to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's
my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an
accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, MY no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
"How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a
vat Of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go
quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee."
--------
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after His Sunday morning
service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away
last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he
have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that darn gun...'
--------
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional
booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his Attention but the drunk
continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this
side either!"
--------
.
.' `.
.' .'. `.
.' .' `. `.
.' .' `. `.
.' .' `. `.
.' .'| _________ |`. `.
`'| | | | | |`'
| | | _ _ | | |
| | | ( " ) } | |
| | | \ / | | |
| | | " | | |
| | | | | |
| |,+' | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | | | |
| | | } | |
| | | | | |
,,,,,,,,|,|,|,,,,,,,,,|,|,|,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
VK
Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. The family had
to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was so hot
in the summer and freezing cold in the winter and stank all the time.
The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy was
determined that one day he would push that old outhouse straight into
the creek.
One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy
decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He
found a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse
toppled into the creek and floated away.
That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after
supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The
dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It
was you, wasn't it son?"
The boy answered it was. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I
read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry
tree and didn't get into trouble because he said he did it and
didn't lie."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in
the cherry tree."
---
...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu!
=========================================================
>-->From HandyHints:
. ( )
' . ( ( )
,___________.
| _________ |
|| ,### ||
|| ####' %||
|| ##` #||
|| :### # ||
|| '####/ ||
|| ##` ||
|| ###; ||
||-_-_-_-_-||
|| '###; ||
|| '6#' ||
|| ;#' ||
|| ;#`#; ||
|| #!' # ||
||%____#___||
|___________|
Taliszanna
Who doesn't enjoy a hot shower whether it's on a cold day,
or after a stressful day at work? A big chunk of the
average family's water use comes from bathing, so installing
a low-flow efficient shower head can reduce your water
consumption by 50% saving you hundreds a year - and you
won't even notice the difference.
Or consider lowering the temperature of your water heater
from its default of 140 degrees to 120 degrees - don't
worry you will still enjoy a hot shower, but you'll save
up to $320 a year! Wow, that's some savings!
-<>-
* Tackle Trash With A Daily Dash
A daily round with a trash bag makes short work of burgeoning
clutter. Once a day, circle the house at top speed, gathering
expired coupons, newspaper inserts, take-out food containers,
empty packaging materials and other trash, then toss. It's an
instant clutter-cutting boost!
* Set The Table From The Dishwasher
Returning clean dishes to the cupboard during after-dinner
clean-up?
Set the breakfast table straight from the dishwasher! You'll
save steps--and make precious time during busy mornings. If
you wash dishes overnight?
Do it in reverse, setting the table for dinner as you put
away clean dishes each morning.
* Get Organized in Minutes: Clean On The Fly
To keep the house clean without a lot of effort, make use
of "wait time" in your day.
Wipe down the refrigerator doors as you wait for water to
boil. Sort the magazine stack during television commercials,
or straighten the coat closet when waiting for a family
member. Micro-cleaning makes good use of spare minutes, and
goes a long way to keeping things organized on the fly.
* Clear A Clogged Shower Head with White Vinegar
If your shower head isn't pulsing as strongly as usual,
the culprit can be mineral deposits from hard water.
Dissolve obstructions overnight in a bath of white vinegar.
Place 1/2 cup white vinegar in a plastic food storage bag,
and pull the bag up around the shower head. Secure with a
rubber band for 8-12 hours to restore shower flow to full
strength.
-<>-
I was reading an article and found it a bit interesting, so
I thought I would share with you. Do you notice the older
we get we tend to wobble more and aren't as stable on our
feet? Well, did you know that we lose up to three pounds of
muscles - and 10% of our strength - every decade after the
age of 30!
They say if you spend 30 minutes twice a week of doing simple
exercises like squats and bicep curls it can boost your
strength and balance by 52% in just four weeks. That cuts
your risk of falls and injuries by 67%.
Strong legs make you less likely to stumble, and strong arms
help you right yourself before you collapse.
Just something to keep in mind, all!
---
_
_( }
-= _ << \
`.\__/`/\\
-= '--'\\ `
-= //
jgs \)
...Also, don't be so quick on take-offs...
When you stand up, instead of lurching forward, pause a moment
to get your balance - then you can take off like a banshee :)
-<>-
(
) )
_.(--"("""--.._
/, _..-----).._,\
| `'''-----'''` |
\ /
'. .'
jgs '--.....--'
* Soup away aches
Are you congested and achy? Spoon up Grandma's delicious
chicken soup!
Chicken is rich in immunity-boosting zinc, and all the
veggies deliver hundreds of anti-inflammatory nutrients.
Research shows this ever-so-popular comfort food cuts
symptoms by 55%. Even better...have it before bed - women
who do, drift off 30 minutes sooner and sleep 25% more deeply.
* Unplug appliances when not in use
Small appliances such as TVs, cable boxes, Blu-Ray players,
and video game system use energy even when they're turned
off.
Consider unplugging items that won't be used regularly, or
get a power strip with switches to save even more energy.
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
FULL CPAC Video - TRUMP SPEECH 2021
https://tinyurl.com/bs79xf5s
CPAC News: Trump says the Supreme Court should be 'ashamed' for
not having guts to overturn 'rigged' election, hammers Biden, Big
Tech, internal GOP enemies and cancel culture - and trails a
'triumphant return' to White House:
Donald Trump made his grand comeback to the political scene by
taking the stage at CPAC Sunday. The former president assured the
Orlando crowd he will not be forming his own political party.'We're
not starting new parties,' he said, dispelling weeks of rumors. 'We
have the Republican Party'
https://tinyurl.com/ya235ypx
Watters World 2/27/21
https://tinyurl.com/75878e5v
1/5 of the COVID Related Deaths Occurred During the Biden
Administration / Asians Get Guns and Organize in the Wake of
Increased Violence / Cuomo Says He’s Sorry for Jokes, but Not
for Harassment / CA Gov Could be Recalled and Re-Elected the
Same Day / The Left Now Wants to Censor Big Tech / College
Student Sent to Re-Education for Tweeting Men are Men AND More:
https://reliablenewsnow.com/
Biden White House Teams Up With Big Tech to Censor / Joe Biden
Is Preparing to Criminalize up to... / Joe Biden’s Anti-Christian
Bill is Set to be Voted on Next Week in Congress
https://deepstatejournal.com/
Pipeline Workers Have Just Sent Sleepy Joe A VERY BIG Message! /
SLEEPY JOE Making YOU PAY For S%x Reassignment Surgery And MORE:
http://2020conservative.com/
America Last: The Biden Administration's First 100 Days / What
You Need to Know About Immigration AND MORE:
https://www.fairus.org/
8 Things You Must Know About Covid-19 Package And MORE:
https://www.heritage.org/
Latest From Independent Minute:
https://independentminute.com/
Latest From TPN News:
https://threepercenternation.com/
Latest From AFA:
http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw
Students For Life
https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6
Latest From OperationRescue:
http://www.operationrescue.org/
Latest Product Alert: Nationwide Recall Multiple Products,
Listeria Contamination
http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text
Latest Health Alert:
http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text
Click to Give Free
https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
If it's going to happen, there's a good chance it's going
to happen in Russia; home of mail order brides, radioactive
vodka, and now technicolor K-9s. Residents of the little
town of Dzerzhinsk, about 242 miles east of Moscow, have
been puzzled by the appearance of brightly colored dogs.
And we're not talking about golden retrievers or Irish
setters, but bright pink and blue pooches roaming the
streets.
The clue to the bizarre phenomenon might lie in the nearby
abandoned Dzerzhinskoye Orgsteklo chemical plant that once
manufactured highly toxic hydrocyanic acid, which is also
a core ingredient in a once commonly used "Prussian blue"
dye.
Without clearer details, Dmitry Karelkin, head physician
of Zoozashchita veterinary hospital, officially blamed the
blue hue on "some kind of chemical," which doesn't appear
to have harmed the animals physically.
Meanwhile, examiners from the Lobachevsky Research Institute
of Chemistry at Nizhny Novgorod State University, as well
as the Committee for State Veterinary Surveillance, found
"no signs of irritating chemical burns," while results from
the blood and stool tests did not reveal significant toxicity.
The blue dogs reportedly will remain under close observation
for about 20 days. Meanwhile, no announcements have been
made to specifically address pooches that are turning up
pink. However, some are calling for an investigation of a
chemical dump in another area of Dzerzhinsk, where 300,000
tons of toxic waste was unloaded after the Cold War.
---
...I know you want to see! So Read about AND See them Here:
https://tinyurl.com/854btywz
-<>-
People tend to look at this pandemic as a local crisis, but
it is a global concern. And a global debate. Just like in
the United States, there are people around the world who
underestimate the seriousness of the threat and are
reluctant to follow all of the safety protocals. Like this
woman in South Africa who was challenged when she walked
into a supermarket without a mask on. When management
threatened to throw her out she resorted to the only mask
she had on her person. The one between her legs.
The bizarre incident was caught on camera at a Pick-n-Pay
supermarket in South Africa. The shopper was asked to put
on a face covering by a security guard, but she claimed
she didn't have one. When the woman was warned that she
would be refused service unless she had a mask on, she
removed her thong undies and put them on her face.
The video has since gone viral.
You can clearly see the woman reach under her dress and
dig around a bit. A moment later out come the black thong
which she deftly pulls over her head. Another female
shopper appears to congratulate her, saying "well done".
It's impossible to say whether this comment was made
sarcastically, or if that's just how the ladies roll in
South Africa.
Back in December, South African President Cyril Ramaphosa
stressed that not wearing a face mask in public is a
criminal offence. The clip has sparked outrage online with
many blasting the woman for entering the shop without a
face mask on. One person commented: "We have a serious
virus and (she thinks) a G-string will save her. Come on
grow up. What must your family think?"
It was not reported whether the supermarket allowed the
woman to shop with panties on her face.
---
...Of Course, I found the video - Just For You! :)
https://tinyurl.com/akzdb4rm
*--- Man sues female boss for discrimination ---*
A man in South Wales is suing the "woman-dominated" firm
where he worked for 'extreme discrimination against males',
claiming that his female boss told him to "man up" among
other s%xist comments and actions. Daniel Price claims
that his manager Ashleigh Knowles told him "men are less
organised" and that he was repeatedly ordered to "go away"
during "girls-only" conversations. Mr Price says he was
the only worker instructed to carry boxes, being told
"because you're a man". He once refused, due to a hernia,
but was ordered to "man up and get on with it." Mr. Price
said she once threatened him with disciplinary action for
insubordination after he told her tasks should not lie
solely with him because he was a man. An employment judge
in Cardiff ruled he has an "arguable case" for s%x
discrimination and ordered a full hearing.
*--- Naked man carrying Bible shot in Florida ---*
A naked man knocking on doors at a South Florida apartment
complex was shot by someone who then called 911 to turn
himself in, police said. The man was carrying a Bible and
knocking on doors at the Sunshine Garden Apartments when
he was shot, Pembroke Pines police Major Al Xiques reported.
Police said that officers found the man bleeding and on the
ground. He was taken to a hospital in critical condition.
Officers were already on their way to investigate calls
about a naked man at the complex when a 911 caller said he
had just shot the man. "[The shooter] wanted to surrender
himself to police," Xiques said. "He was detained by police
and is being questioned." The identities of the man and the
person who turned himself in were not immediately released.
*--- Car burglar overlooks $1 million lottery ticket ---*
A Seattle couple said a burglar stole a pair of sunglasses
from their car, but ignored something far more valuable --
a $1 million winning Powerball ticket. The couple, who
requested anonymity, said they forgot to check the numbers
on their Powerball ticket after it failed to win the $350
million jackpot. "We didn't even think about a second
chance prize," the couple told Washington's Lottery
officials. They said the ticket sat in their car for about
three months. "Someone broke into our car a few weeks ago
and stole a pair of sunglasses," the couple said. "The
stolen sunglasses were actually sitting atop the winning
ticket. What a close call!" The couple checked the numbers
on the ticket and discovered they had won a $1 million
second chance prize. "Well, we already popped a bottle of
champagne! We're also planning a trip to Paris and Iceland
for this year," the couple said. The burglar, meanwhile,
will have to make do with a pair of used sunglasses.
*--- Driving Under The Influence of Whipped Cream? ---*
A woman was charged with driving under the influence after
consuming whipped cream. Police said that 28-year-old Anna
Thomas of Franklin, Tennessee, used cans of aerosol whipped
cream to get high. She was charged with driving under the
influence after crashing her car. When police arrived, Thomas
was disoriented. Officers found 13 cans of whipped cream
scattered inside the vehicle. Almost all of the bottles were
empty. No pie was discovered.
=========================================================
>-->From TheGroaner:
_,--, _
__,-'____| ___ /' |
/' `\,--,/' `\ /' |
( ) ( )'
\_ _/' `\_ _/ pb
""" """
>Got Glasses?
Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
-<>-
>Cross-Eyed Dog
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,
is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm
going to have to put him down."
"Why?! Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."
-<>-
.--._
'---._)
Q Q )
c /
.-;-'-,.__
\)) _/--o---o --)
(_(= ,H---H --|
'----'\---))) |
\_=(_(/
/ )
/ \ \
/ / \ \
| | '. '.
|___| \___\
snd |_| \_\
/ ) / )
'-' '-'
>Don't Mime Me
A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester classes.
At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a
huff of anger.
"What's wrong, Shelly?" Asks her roommate.
"Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn't even get into
Mime class."
"Why not?"
"How should I know? You can't get a word out of those people!"
-<>-
>During A Concert
A band director was standing outside on a metal ladder during a
concert, when a thunderstorm broke out.
Amazingly, he wasn't hit by lightning, but the music was awful -
it seems he just wasn't a very good conductor.
-<>-
>Q and A Quickies
_.._.-..-._
.-' .' /\ \`._
/ / .' `-.\ `.
:_.' .. : _.../\
| ;___ .-' //\\.
\ _..._ / `/\ // \\\
`-.___.-' /\ //\\ \\:
| //\V/ :\\ \\
\ \\/ \\ /\\
`.____.\\ \\ .' \\
// /\\---\\-' \\
fsc // // \\ \\ \\
Q: What was the last thing to go through the bug's mind before it
hit the windshield?
A: Its butt.
Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I'm coming down with something.
Q: How do you cure bed wetting?
A: An electric blanket.
____ ____
. " `-.
.' Hmm, where are .
: those tiny |
` monsters ...? .
\ .
`--..__ _ _ -
O
o
|||||/ .
( d b
| j.".
___/ ` | |
/ \ /| \\
/ _+ Y `u'))
( |.--//
\ \---/_____\-- a:f ---
\.'--
//\\
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
Q: Why should you always guard your rear while you're in the hospital?
A: You're in enema territory.
Q: What did the rope say after it got tangled?
A: Oh, no. Knot again!
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
_.-'`'-._
.-' _ '-.
`-.__ `\_.-'
| `-``\|
jgs `-.....-A
#
#
A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic
biology students, about to hand out the final exam.
"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this
semester. I know you've all worked extremely hard and many
of you are off to medical school after summer. So that no
one gets their GPA messed up because they might have been
celebrating a bit too much this week, anyone who would like
to opt out of the final exam today will receive a 'B' for
the test."
There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up,
walked to the front of the class, and took the professor
up on his offer. As the last taker left the room, the
professor looked out over the handful of remaining students
and asked, "Anyone else? This is your last chance."
One final student rose up and opted out of the final.
The professor closed the door and took attendance of those
students remaining. "I'm glad to see you believe in
yourselves," he said. "You all get 'A's."
-<>-
Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off
they went to the unemployment office. When asked his
occupation, the first guy said, "Panty stitcher...I sew
the elastic onto women's panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher in her table. Finding
it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week
unemployment pay.
The second guy was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter,"
he replied.
Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave
the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out
he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why
his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled, and
diesel fitters are skilled labor."
"What skill?!" yelled the panty stitcher. "I sew the
elastic, and he pulls on it and says, "Yep, dese'll fit
'er."
-<>-
________________________
///\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\/\\\
//\{}//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//{}/\\
///&%&%&%&/~~~~~~~~~~~~\&%&%&%&\\\
||&%&%&_.' '._&%&%&||
||&%''' '''%&||
||&%& ~c &%&||
||&%& o )____ <)\/ &%&||
||&%& /_=-/_____| /\ &%&||
ejm97 ||&%&& ( /\.| | /~/ &&%&||
______||&%&&======================&&%&||______
Ben, an intensely musical individual, was burdened
with a brother-in-law who had the virtue of being a
successful businessman, but who was undeniably the least
cultured person in town. Ben found this very humiliating
and labored to introduce the poor creature to the finer
things in life.
At last, through much effort, Ben persuaded his brother-
in-law to accompany him to a presentation of the opera
'Carmen'. He held his breath, fearing some last minute
event would spoil everything, but the day came and Ben and
his brother-in-law actually entered the opera house and
took their places in an excellent box.
To Ben's satisfaction the opera seemed to catch his brother-
in-law's fancy at once. He listened open-mouthed and round-
eyed, following every move and absorbing every note.
Ben was absolutely triumphant when, as they were leaving the
theater, his brother-in-law was singing under his breath,
"To-ray-a-dor-uh, guard-un! To-ray-a-dor, To-ray-a-dor!"
Ben said, beaming, "So you like the Toreador Song, do you?"
His brother-in-law replied with excitement, "Of course I do!
And as a practical businessman I'm not afraid of making a
prediction, either. I'm telling you, that song's going to be
a hit!"
-<>-
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by
her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode
off into the sunset."
She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have
problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground.
A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the
difference."
-<>-
While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I
heard a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of
coffee cups, plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables
away from her, I felt a stinging pain in my hand where I
was cut from the shattered debris. I was immediately escorted
to the hotel doctor.
"What happened?" he asked.
I said, "Attacked by a flying saucer."
-<>-
\\ /////
| |
(| _ _ |)
|` | '|
| __ |
>>>___/\_^__/\___<<<
/ ||| \
Mike Hertz
>Why the Military can't communicate with each other...
If you tell the Navy to secure a building, they will turn
out the lights and lock the door.
If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will occupy
it and forbid entry to those without a pass.
If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they assault
with heavy fire, capture the building, fortify it and call
for an air strike.
If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will
negotiate a three year lease with an option to buy.
=========================================================
>-->From LaughAndLift:
"Not everybody is called into full-time Christian service. But we
are called to serve Christ where we are in our community or sphere
of influence." - Billy Graham
The Lift...
.0.
/ \
; \_/ ;
| |
| |
| |
_______; ;_______
`======='\ /`=======`
\ /
_ | | _
_( \____|=|____/ )_
( .---. .---. )
`-' / \ '-'
/ HUG \
; ;
| .---.|__,
jgs : / :--'
.--\ \ |
`" `"".-' < =""`
`"== `""""""` =""`
`"""===="""` =""`
`""==="""`
>Willing to Share
(By Barbara, NC)
While living in Hawaii, I learned that the Hawaiian people are very
family and pet-oriented.
I was on my way to work one morning when I got stuck behind an old
truck. In the back of the truck were two children and a big dog, all
sharing a huge lollipop. One child would lick it for a little while,
then hand it to the other child and then he would lick for it a
while. After the second child had licked it, he would hold it up to
the dog and the dog would take his turn. This went on for several
miles, with each one patiently waiting for his turn with the sucker.
The children never even seemed to consider the fact that although
they may be expected to share with each other, they weren't required
to share with the pooch. He was apparently a very special member of
that family.
It turned out to be a wonderful ride and I couldn't help but wonder
what the world would be like if we all could be as willing to share
as those two children.
-<>-
The Laughs...
.. blaa blaa blaaa...
.((())).
cornet -> ( \(( ))==> <- pencil
t |//_^ ^)" p e
y \)_\V/.-. t y
p /||| ( _\
_e/ |'\/__.-.\
_ ___.'_(.'_)_/ ,___))___ _
___/||___t p
.'-'-_-_-'-,:y e
.'-_-_-_-_-_-/
(__________,(/mrf
keyboard(_.-._.-._.
>Funny Answering Machine Messages
"Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please? -- Captain,
there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do
you want it on screen?" (silence...beep)
This is not an answering machine--this is a telepathic thought-
recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your
reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll
think about returning your call.
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel
stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if
you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something
about myself. Thanks.
C'mon...you can do it...just a little one. That's the way...just
a little beep, just a little one. C'mon...good boy...here we go...
like this--beeeeep, just a little one, beeeeeeeeeep, c'mon...There
you go!
Andy Warhol said that one day everyone will be famous for 15
minutes. Well, your 15 minutes was last week, but since you weren't
ready, we gave it to Vanna White. Sorry.
A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to
someone in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be
broadcast into the future....
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement
printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any
money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave
your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If
you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this
message.
Kemosabe no in tipi now. You leave'um message after little smoke
signal, and Kemosabe get back for pow-wow real fast.
Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right
now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then
talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind
when you hear the following words: orange...mother...unicorn...
computer. I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as
possible.
Next on Public Radio 91 we'll be hearing music of Antonin Dvorak.
This is the Beep Serenade in C-Sharp Minor, Opus 72....
This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast
System. This is only a test.
No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not
the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!
This is the National Security Emergency Password Notification
Network. To initiate destruct sequence, call the CIA with today's
password. Today's password is BABY BOOTIES.
You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your
ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel
helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.
As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on
reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone...the
telephone is next to an answering machine...you hear a faint click
and a light flashes on the answering machine...you hear a beep....
Prepare for alpha test of Beep Software revision 1.05. Counting
down to test: 5...4...3...2...1...
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your
name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade,
and the secret password.
Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't
you beep! If you beep, I'll...don't even think about it!....
Don't....!
I can't come to the phone now, so...hey--that's a nice phone you
have there. Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have
answering machines bothering you all the time...yes indeedy. Why
don't you give me a call sometime and we can listen to some old
recordings...I might even play my beep for you...
This is the Metropolitan Opera Amateur Audition Hotline. After
the tone, sing Vesti la Giubba and La Donna e Mobile....
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to
the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this
message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it
LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening
to it...I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.
How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the
instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I
touch this...YOW!!
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your
name and number and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary
word. Today's word is acetylcholinesterase {or scaphoid, or
arrhenotky...}
-<>-
.-'\
.-' `/\
.-' `/\
\ `/\
\ `/\
\ _- `/\ _.--.
\ _- `/`-..--\ )
\ _- `,',' / ,')
`-_ - ` -- ~ ,','
`- ,','
\,--. ____==-~
\ \_-~\
`_-~_.-'
_ Seal _ \-~
>Redneck Wireless Security System
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used work
boots - a really big pair.
2. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns
and Ammo magazine.
3. Put a dog dish beside it - a really big dish.
4. Leave a note on your front door that says: "Bubba, Big Mike
and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 an hr.
Don't disturb the pit bulls. They've just been wormed and they
are a little edgy."
-<>-
"Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people
to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of
the roads weren't paved." - Unknown
-<>-
Q: What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat?
-<>-
_,,,_ _
/////\\ _ |\ | \|\ _
// e e \\ / `|~\|_/|~\|_) _
(" > ") _ \_, |_)|_)
\\.=-=.// \/ ) _ |\ / | \|\
\--\\\7///--/ /\/ _ |_)|~\ |~\
/`--`"""`--'\/ / |_)| \
/ : \ / |\ |_)
\ '-.,_ `-' |~\
`-._/__)======_____,
jgs ((=====))
_ |`"""`| _//
`\,_('> |= | (')
\~_) |= | ( '-.
-'= `-...-` _/-_(_)o
>Phone Number Magic Trick
[Grab a calculator - you won't be able to do this one in your head...]
1. Key in the first three digits of your 7-digit phone number (NOT the
area code);
2. Multiply by 80;
3. Add 1;
4. Multiply by 250;
5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number;
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again;
7. Subtract 250;
8. Divide number by 2.
What you have is your phone number. Cool, eh?
-<>-
__,---.
/__|o\ )
`-\ / /
,) (,
// \\
{( )}
=======""===""===============
jgs |||||
|||
|
>The Church Parrot
An elderly woman was looking for a pet to be a good companion
and not much trouble. The pet store owner suggested a parrot,
showed it to her and guaranteed her it would be a wonderful
companion.
The woman asked if it would behave if she took it to church
with her on Sundays. The owner said it shouldn't be a problem
and that she could put him on her shoulder and he would stay
there. She bought the parrot and for the next week spent time
getting to know him.
Assured that he spoke properly and was well behaved, she put
him on her shoulder and went off to church. Just as everyone
quieted down and the sermon began, the parrot looked around,
squawked and said, "It's so cold in here!"
Everyone turned to look at her and she ran out of the church
in total embarrassment! All the next week, she talked to the
parrot explaining the necessity to remain quiet during church.
The parrot understood so she put him on her shoulder and went
to church the following Sunday.
Once again, just as everything got quiet and the sermon began,
the parrot squawked, looked around and loudly proclaimed, "It's
so cold in here!!"
And again the woman ran from the church. The next day she
returned to the pet store and explained the embarrassing
situation to the owner. Since she didn't want to get rid of the
parrot, the owner offered the following solution:
If the parrot does that again, grab him by the legs and swing
him around 5 or 6 times and return him to your shoulder."
"That'll work?" asked the woman.
"Guaranteed!" exclaimed the owner.
So, the next Sunday she took the parrot to church and, sure
enough, just as the sermon started, the parrot squawked, "It's
so cold in here!!" Without any hesitation, the woman grabbed
his legs, swung him around 5 or 6 times and placed him back on
her shoulder.
.
| \/|
(\ _ ) )|/|
(/ _----. /.'.'
.-._________.. .' @ _\ .'
'.._______. '. / (_| .')
'._____. / '-/ | _.'
'.______ ( ) ) \
'..____ '._ ) )
.' __.--\ , , // ((
'.' mrf| \/ (_.'(
' \ .'
\ (
\ '.
\ \ '.)
'-'-'
The parrot shook his head, ruffled his feathers and said,
"Pretty windy, too!"
-<>-
Dear Dog,
I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken
lamp which you did not break; the fish you did not spill; and the
carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty
with red paint...
Things here at the house are calmer now, and Just to show you that
I have no hard feelings towards you, I am sending you a picture,
so you will always remember me.
Best regards,
. .
:"-. .-";
|:`.`.__..__.'.';|
|| :-" "-; ||
:; :;
/ .==. .==. \
: _.--._ ;
; .--.' `--' `.--. :
: __;` ':__ ;
; ' '-._:;_.-' ' :
'. `--' .'
."-._ _.-".
.' ""------"" `.
/`- -'\
/`- -'\
:`- .' `. -';
; / \ :
: : ; ;
; ; : :
':_:.' '.;_;'
:_ _;
; "-._ -" :`-. _.._
:_ () _; "--::__. `.
\"- -"/`._ :
.-"-. -"-. ""--..____.'
/ .__ __. \
: / , / "" \ . \ ; bug
"-:___..--" "--..___;-"
The Cat
--------
"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the
overweight patient who wanted to loose weight without exercising.
"I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor
twice a day and pick them up, one at a time...."
--------
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was two
eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good," my
wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
.-~-.
.' '.
/ \
.-~-. : ;
.' '.| |
/ \ :
: ; .-~""~-,/
| /` `'.
: | \
\ | /
`. .' \ .'
jgs `~~~` '-.____.-'
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents
because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked
incredulously. "I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.
SUBSCRIBE INFO
Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean
humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE!
Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Animal Friends!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfriends.html
Pink The Pig-Puppy!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pigpuppy.html
World's Fastest Cars!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fastcars.html
Beautiful Rare Flowers!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rareflowers.html
Uninvited Wedding Guests!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/weddingguests.html
Niagara Falls In Neon!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/niagaraneon.html
Tropical Islands Resort!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tropicalislands.html
Expensive Hotel Rooms!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ehotels.html
Adorable Animal Selfies!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalselfies.html
Animal Family Portraits!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalfamilies.html
Humorous Ads!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humorad.html
Famous Movie Calendar!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moviecalendar.html
Underwater Life Of Eilat!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/underwater.html
Werribee Open Range Zoo!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/werribeezoo.html
World's Most Spectacular Places!-
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces.html
St. Pat's Day/Spring Index!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/springindex.html
-<>-
Revisiting...
>From Our Friend Melody :)
Vanity Cakes Recipe
http://tinyurl.com/h8ufrf7
Parmesan Polenta and Spicy Sausage Sauce -
http://tinyurl.com/zu7tf5f
---
...Yum! Thanks Melody!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseAu :)
She sent us one we have here...
Amazing Trivia Facts
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts3.html
Take a short glide through Vietnam (through Hoi An, Saigon),
Thailand (Pai, Koh Phi Phi, Bangkok) and the Philippines (Palawan).
South Asia sure has some incredibly beautiful sights to behold, as
this short travel video, using the amazing canon 5D MK3, one of
the best cameras on the planet, to give us a taste of it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vDUhW32_k0M
Everyone has one annoying neighbor on their street. Maybe it's
the couple who are always yelling, or the kids with the garage
band practicing deep into the night. But they don't have ANYTHING
on this neighbor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnWvLwbifVg&feature=player_embedded
---
...Love These! Thanks LouiseAu!
World-class acrobatic dancers Stephan Choiniere and Tsvetelina
Tabakova perform for the French TV Show "The World's Greatest
Cabaret.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz0hxfeQhuA&feature=player_embedded
10 years ago, the landmark TV series Planet Earth redefined
natural history filmmaking, giving us the ultimate portrait
of life on Earth. Narrated by Sir David Attenborough, Planet
Earth II will reveal our planet from a completely new
perspective, using significant advances in both filming
technology and our understanding of the natural world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8aFcHFu8QM
An entertaining 1960's TV Show Dance Party music video. The video
is a compilation of several classic 60's television shows with
Let's Dance by Chris Montez (1962) as the song they are dancing
to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPj3SJcx0Wc
---
...Fun Ones! Thanks LouiseAu!
=======================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Burger King is reportedly close to buying Popeye's Chicken.
Wow, Burger King must be really drunk." -Seth Meyers
"There is so much going on in the world right now. Not just
in the world, there's a lot going on in the universe. For
those of you who are looking to get off the planet,
astronomers at the Carnegie Institution discovered more
than 100 potential planets that may be habitable, which
means we're one step closer to finding a planet with
intelligent life." -Jimmy Kimmel
"In North Carolina, a mother is suing a daycare center
because one of the workers there breastfed her son without
permission. Authorities say she doesn't really have a case
because her son is 32." -Conan O'Brien
"The U.S. Army has officially lifted its ban on soldiers
having dreadlocks. This is good news for the Army's elite
Hacky Sack Corps." -Conan O'Brien
"Taco Bell has announced plans to offer a $600 wedding
service at its flagship restaurant in Las Vegas. And this
is cool - the burritos are conveniently wrapped in divorce
papers." -Seth Meyers
"A new report finds that over 55,000 bridges in the U.S.
were found to have major structural problems last year.
When asked how they're going to fix them, the government
was like, 'Eh, we'll cross that gaping hole when we get to
it.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"The funniest place to be on Valentine's Day is the drugstore
checkout line at around 7 p.m. The only place you'll see
desperation like that is at a casino in Vegas, standing in
line for the ATM." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Facebook has just added a new tool for finding help during
disasters. Unfortunately, then Facebook shows you photos of
your friends having a much better time during their
disasters." -Conan O'Brien
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $26 will get your a message (of up to 40
words) out to all web site list readers.
Email me to secure dates.
Ad Request
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home
Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the
Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
**********************************************************************