Happy National Puppy Day! .... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ /\ ,'.' ',' _.,._ _,.-+`'+-._ .|. _.+'` `.' \ (___) ,' \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ _.-~`'~-._ _\_.-+'`'`+-._\ ag `,' `---` >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) I have some good news to report. I am thanking God that even though we are in the midst of this 'war' as our Ohio governor calls it, I was able to get my eye fixed at the Pajka Eye Center this last Thursday. Before I was squinting and having trouble reading my computer screen from 6 inches away and now I'm a comfortable arms length away from the screen seeing it with no trouble. Praise God! I am most thankful to Dr. Pajka and his staff for braving this virus crisis and helping those of us who need their skills the most. I am also quite pleased to announce that we have a couple new sponsors for the website www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com. With our present shelter in place situation around the country, our first sponsor may be just the ticket to keep boredom from driving you car tinkerers crazy. It is also a good source for those of you, like my son, who like to save money on car repairs. He likes to find out what his car's problem is at the shop and then locate a quality part for it himself online. This always saves him money over what the shop would charge him and he is assured he gets what he is paying for which is a new, not used, quality replacement part! This company is great! Search from over 10 Million Auto Parts at always 80% off product list prices! Be sure to check them out here... Dealer Alternative Parts Geek https://www.partsgeek.com/ Our next new sponsor is sure to win the hearts of guys and gals alike! This company offers beauty in the form of flowers - their motto is 'Bringing joy to your life one flower at a time.' We sure could use some of this in our homes right now! They are on Instagram here: Avas Flowers https://www.instagram.com/avasflowers/ And have many coupon discounts available here: https://www.retailmenot.com/view/avasflowers.net Be sure to check this fine company out too! You can always be assured that I only go with the best for you! :) -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our latest too hot to handle new page is from our friends Linda and Geniann. It should delight all our classic car and history buffs. If, however, you are like me, you will find the video here the most interesting. Be sure to check this out here... _.--------._ .--------. .----------. ,'.----------.', .' `. / \ /='------------`=\ _`.-. _...._ .-.'_ _(.-. _...._ .-.)_ .F_______...._______Y. (_)`-' __)(__ `-'(_) (_)`-' __()__ `-'(_) |(_)(_) ______ (_)(_)| (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) (....__|LESTER|__....) | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | | | ~~~~~~ | | `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' `-' Old Used Car Lots http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldusedcarlots.html --- ...Wow! Hard to believe those prices! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .---. ___ /_____\ /\.-`( '.' ) / / \_-_/_ \ `-.-"`'V'//-. `.__, |// , \ |Ll //Ll|\ \ |__// | \_\ /---|[]==| / / \__/ | \/\/ /_ | Ll_\| |`^"""^`| | | | | | | | | | | | | L___l___J jgs |_ | _| (___|___) ^^^ ^^^ Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy (starts looking for change...) Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR! -<>- Two buddies talking in the bar. "Hey, you look rather dejected today. What's happened?" "It's my father-in-law." "Fell ill?" "Worse." "Died?" "Worse. He's undergone a gender change operation and... now I've got two mothers-in-law." -<>- >Spring Cleaning Time? What I Don't Do... 1. I don't do windows because ... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt. 2. I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves. I'll feel terrible and they may sue me. 3. I don't mind the dust bunnies because ... they are very good company. I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say. 4. I don't disturb cobwebs because ... I want every creature to have a home of their own and hubby loves spiders. 5. I don't Spring Clean because ... I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous. 6. I don't plant a garden because ... I don't want to get in God's way. He is an excellent designer. 7. I don't put things away because ... my husband will never be able to find them again. 8. I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because ... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner. 9. I don't iron because ... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press". 10. I don't stress much on anything because ... "A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!! ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ March 23 is Melba Toast Day, National Chip and Dip Day, National Puppy Day and Near Miss Day March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisin Day March 25 is Feast of the Annunciation, National / World Agriculture Day - date varies, Pecan Day and Waffle Day March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and National Spinach Day March 27 is National "Joe" Day March 28 is Something on a Stick Day and Weed Appreciation Day March 29 is National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day and Smoke and Mirrors Day March 30 is I am in Control Day, National Doctor's Day, Take a Walk in the Park Day, Turkey Neck Soup Day ======================================================= >-->From Mikey'sFunnies: __ _.-' \ (-' \ \ \ \ \ \ _.-' \ \' \ \ \ \ .-.\_ \ .( )_ _ _\( `-..-' )`-.\\ /__'`-._.--' .' )/ VK \ \- _ .-' .' `---`/.\\_.-' \_// Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked - from a distance - if he was going to have a garage sale. "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date. He'll be taking the car out soon to pick up the girl." "So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor. "Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work, I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him." -<>- An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. "Lord," he prayed. "I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up the Guinness and go to mass every Sunday." Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: "Never mind, I found one!" -<>- >SO PUNNY Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon 1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds 52 cards: 1 decacards 3.45 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League ========================================================= >-->For National Puppy Day :) __ /\/'-, ,--''''' /" ____,'. ) \___ '"""""------'"""`-----' pb >From Our Friend Judy SURFING THERAPY DOG INSPIRES THE WORLD THROUGH VIRAL VIDEO DURING SOCIAL DISTANCING & QUARANTINE FROM CORONAVIRUS (COVID-19) PANDEMIC KLEENEX ALERT - See Video here... Ricochet The Surf Dog http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochet.html Certified therapy dog, Surf Dog Ricochet is finding it difficult to sit back and do nothing to calm fears, anxiety and other emotions during this coronavirus (covid-19) pandemic. As such, she is finding ways to provide comfort from a distance, including the re-circulation of her inspirational viral video, From Service dog to SURFice dog that currently has 6.6 million views on YouTube. In every other crisis, therapy dogs are called upon to provide comfort and healing. But, due to social distancing and quarantine, animal assisted therapy programs have been suspended. "At a time where dogs could be a great valuable resource, we are thinking outside the box in an effort to provide some form of canine therapy to the millions of people around the world who need it", said Judy Fridono, Ricochet's guardian and Executive Director of the non-profit, Puppy Prodigies that Ricochet is part of. Studies have shown that animals offer emotional and physical benefits to humans while providing a positive influence and calming effect to the individuals they interact with. Puppy Prodigies is rooted in the human-canine bond and dedicated to helping individuals grow in mind, body and spirit through the unconditional love and acceptance only a dog can provide. Each person who watches the video finds an individual message that touches them on many levels, bringing them to tears. It's a story about what we all want -- to be encouraged to discover who we really are... to be accepted... to find our life purpose... and to be celebrated for being different. It shows how Ricochet pioneered the concept of canine-assisted surf therapy and adaptive surfing in 2009, when she made an independent decision to jump on a surfboard with Patrick Ivison, a 14 year old boy who is quadriplegic. Since then, she's surfed with hundreds of kids with special needs, people with different abilities, wounded warriors and veterans with PTSD. Ricochet is also a certified goal-directed therapy dog who heals, empowers, enhances and improves the quality of life for individuals with physical, cognitive, or emotional disabilities. In addition, she is actively involved in saving the lives of the 22 veterans a day that take their life by suicide. She balances boards, and lives! Please help us inspire more people around the world by sharing this video. And, if you're not already following Ricochet on social media, please do at @SurfDogRicochet Note: For more information, please contact Judy Fridono at 707-228-0679, or pawinspired@aol.com. About Puppy Prodigies: Puppy Prodigies has been offering canine-assisted programs since 2006. We are a grassroots organization that prides itself on our pioneering efforts and innovative programs utilizing highly skilled and task trained service dogs, certified and registered therapy dogs and trained emotional support dogs. --- ...Love This! Thanks Judy! __ .--._,' `\ (__.' '-, / /_ _ \ __|e)e) | .'_ ; ,`) | (_) | /_.----._.' / \_/\___/ ,d8` \ / .-\\,oo8P` ; | / |;"` | | | || , _ /`'. \ './/'\. .' /.--;'-. | '--'.-._;' .' .-' /'-;` \ (((. .-'\ (((_.' \ ) jgs '._).'`--' `-` Here's some more Puppy/Dog Pages for you to enjoy... Ricochet And Jose http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochetjose.html Ricochet And Kids With SMA http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochetsmakids.html Ricochet At The Pentagon http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochetpentagon.html Ricochet's Soul Vision http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochetvision.html Movie Star Ricochet http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ricochetdogstar.html Jasmine The Greyhound http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jasmine.html Dog Rescue Stories http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogrescues.html Dog Family Portraits http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogfamilies.html Dogs And Little Ones http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogslittleones.html Water Rescue Dogs http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/waterrescuedogs.html Police Dogs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/policedogs.htm Military Dogs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/militarydogs.html Sgt.Stubby War Dog Hero http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/stubbywardog.html World's Largest Dogs http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/largestdogs.html Why Dogs Are Good For Kids http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsandkids.html Why We Love Dogs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whydog.html Tribute To Dogs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogtribute.html Why God Gave Us Puppies http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whypuppies.html ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .-._.--._ / / -. | \ |__ ,-'______.-' '( c-(_)(_)__ \ .._ . ) \ / `-' /\-|\_ /-. \ / ( , o)\ | | o)\ c - _/\\ / \ \=====| | //======| | / =====_/ |/\===/=/ )==)=) (==|=| | |=|______ (_.-. ) ) '--''-' [nabis] >SMILES Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couple of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze." Matt replies, "And we weren't?" ---------- Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before. The first man signed to his friend, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed and not get into trouble." The second deaf man signed back, "Boy you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me for being out so late." The first deaf man asked, "So, what did you do?" The second man replied, "I turned out the light." ---------- I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." ---------- "Mom, what happens to a car when it's too old to run any more?" "Someone sells it to your father." ---------- A man who was buying a sports shirt found the largest size too snug. "Where do I go from here?" he asked the svelte young woman who was helping him. "To the gym," she replied. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= __________________________________________/ ------------------------------------------| | | |~~~~~~~~~~| | | | | *| *|Bless this|* |* | | |_____|_____| ~Home~ |______|______|____| _________ _________ | `| "Sweep and mop! It's not our | |] job to help clean house!" |__________| / | | / |_==___==_| | |]__.--@|@--.__\\\\___|_________| | |---(((----//--( oo //oo o oo| | | |()))) // ||\O/ /)| _______ | | | | \_/ (\/ |// \///|| || |jro | |// \\//____|\\ //_|||_______|| |__________|__\\__\/_______(//|__|_________| ///\\ //|| ~~(_)(_) ////(_) >-->From HandyHints: Earlier this week we talked about some products you probably already have in your home that you can use to kill the Coronavirus and other surface contaminations. Products like bleach, rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide. I have read some posts online that white, distilled vinegar is also a good disinfectant. It's NOT! While vinegar is great for a variety of cleaning uses, it is not a good virus killer. In fact, because of its acidic quality vinegar can be damaging in certain applications. Following are a few instances where you should skip the vinegar and grab a different cleaning agent for the job. >When NOT to use vinegar. Clothes Iron Using vinegar to clean the inside of your iron can corrode the heating element and permanently damage the inside of the appliance. Most steam irons have a protective coating inside the chamber, but acid can gnaw away at that lining and then the metal parts are next. Electronic Screens Vinegar is great at leaving windows streak-free, but never use it on an electronic screen like on your computer, smartphone, tablet, or TV. Vinegar can damage a screen's anti-glare properties and even make a touch screen less responsive. Wood Flooring Many flooring manufacturers, including Lumber Liquidators, warn against using vinegar to clean your hardwood floors. Diluted vinegar can dissolve the finish that protects the wood and leave it looking cloudy or dull. The same goes for wood furniture. Dishwashers and Washing Machines This one I would take with a grain of salt. I have been using white vinegar in my laundry for literally decades, and have never had a problem. On the other hand, I only ever use a cup or two, and then only if I'm washing some- thing I want deodorized, like workout clothes. The issue is with the rubber seals and hoses. Once again, the acidic nature of vinegar can corrode these parts over time causing leaks. Front-load washers are especially susceptible to vinegar-related damage. So, don't add a half gallon every time you do the wash. However, if you use vinegar sparingly, in my experience you shouldn't have a problem. -<>- Some people will drink coffee out of any old Styrofoam or paper cup, but a lot of people have a special relationship with their coffee mug. So I have a question for those folks who only like to drink out of one particular mug; how often do you wash it? The answer is probably not often enough! Especially during cold and flu season. Office workers are often guilty of merely rinsing and reusing their coffee mug day after day. Or worse, just dumping out the old coffee and filling their cup with new brew. But a mostly empty mug, left to its own devices, can quickly grow some pretty scary stuff. All sorts of germs and bacteria can live on and in your cup, especially if you are in a shared space. Cold and flu germs tend to travel and can easily land on your cup. The problem is, most people think a simple rinse and wipe is enough to keep germs at bay; however, this approach is definitely not enough to tackle such formidable bacteria. Proper cleaning is even more critical if the coffee in question has been doctored with cream or sugar. Both of those substances contain nutrients for bacterial growth. While water washing will remove most of the sugar, the oils and proteins in milk or cream require the use of soap to remove. That's why it is important to thoroughly wash receptacles after every single drink to prevent the spread of illness. - Wash your cup with soap and water after every use. - Wash with a paper towel rather than a sponge - otherwise you may be putting E. coli and Salmonella into the cup! - Dry the cup with a paper towel. - If your cup has a lid, remember to wash that too. -<>- Is your store out of cleaning products? Have no fear: you most likely already have everything you need at home. Preliminary studies have shown the Coronavirus virus can remain viable for up to 24 hours on cardboard and for two to three days on plastic and stainless steel. So it's smart to disinfect. Bleach Bleach is a great defense against viruses. Don't use it straight from the bottle though as that would be way too strong. Instead, mix a solution of 1/2 cup of bleach to a gallon of water. Use this to disinfect everything in your kitchen from the sink to the floor. Hydrogen peroxide Per the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, common hydrogen peroxide (it should say 3 percent on it) will deactivate the rhinovirus, which is what causes the common cold. Since the rhinovirus is thought to be more difficult to kill than the coronavirus, it's believed that hydrogen peroxide will work for this as well. Simply pop it into a spray bottle and spray it onto a surface. Let it sit for a few minutes before wiping away. Soap and water Hopefully, you still have some good old fashioned soap remaining. Wash your hands thoroughly, with warm water and soap for 30 seconds. Soap works to destroy viruses by dissolving the fat membrane so the virus becomes inactive. Just make sure you use a clean towel to dry! Rubbing Alcohol (70% or more) Use this with baby wipes to replace hand sanitizer wipes. Just use an ounce or so per container of wipes. Also can be used with regular hand or shampoo soap to make it a sanitizer hand soap. Just add a little hand lotion or hair cream rinse so your hands don't dry out. Also can be used to disinfect counter tops. -<>- >'Go Green' Hint: Washing hands and sanitizing surfaces is extremely important during an outbreak of the cold or flu, but people have a habit of trying to 'lock themselves away' from infection. And that's the exact opposite of what you should do. The World Health Organization warns that "poorly ventilated buildings affect air quality and can contribute to the spread of disease," and that poor ventilation worsens the risk of transmission. People should switch off their air-conditioners and open windows to fresh air to reduce the chances of infection. The likelihood of survival of coronavirus outdoors is lower, say health experts -<>- Trying to stretch your cleaning supplies? Try these hints: Spray the cloth, not the surface. You'll use less product - and achieve the same level of sparkle - if you spray cleaner onto a cloth, instead of directly onto the surface you plan to clean. Use a foaming soap pump A foaming soap pump can turn any liquid soap into a luxurious foam soap. What's more, you'll only need to fill the bottom of the dispenser about a quarter way with soap. Fill it the rest of the way with water and shake the mixture. Just add water Most chemical cleaners are made just a bit too strong. As soon as one of your sprays reaches the three-quarter mark, top it off with tap water. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: CDC Coronavirus site: Has all the links for business, child care, faith etc https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html Under Title 32, President Trump has activated the National Guard to deploy in New York, California and Washington. FEMA will fund 100% of costs to deploy the National Guard, and control of units will go to the governors of each state. Federal medical stations (FMS) with additional beds will be set up in each state. A new private-public consortium announced by Trump will "unlock super-computing resources to fight the Chinese virus.” Further antiviral therapies are expected to arrive in the U.S. on Tuesday morning. https://tinyurl.com/qlgwdnr Rudy Giuliani Interviews Three EMERGENCY Doctors Fighting COVID-19 https://tinyurl.com/saegrvx New York is a new Coronavirus epicenter, and Democrats block $2 trillion stimulus bill https://tinyurl.com/wmve4qt Ohio latest Stay At Home Orders: https://tinyurl.com/tt7uca9 Wow! Happy Birthday, Barron Trump - March 20th! - He's taller then his dad who is 6? 3?!!! https://tinyurl.com/szcgn7m WestWing: Democrats Sink Senate Coronavirus Stimulus Plan to Give Cash to Families https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Chocolate, Oil, Bicycles http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: Stay Home Warnings Continue to Rise http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: It's funny, or maybe odd would be a better word, how fast this Coronavirus panic spread. Just two weeks ago it was still more or less a foreign thing. Yes, there had been a few cases reported on the west coast, but nobody was really talking about it. Then, in the space of just a few days, it seems like everyone went crazy. There were some deaths, then warnings and reports and recommendations by the CDC, and suddenly people started to panic. My wife and I were out to dinner last Saturday night when we heard about the bars and restaurants in Illinois closing for two weeks to slow the spread of the virus. I remember telling my wife that we should stop on the way home to pick up a few essentials, but by the time we got to the grocery store that night, it had already been cleared out of rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizer, sanitizing wipes, disinfectant and toilet paper. That night! -<>- In the world of entrepreneurialism, there are the quick and the dead. Quite literally, in the case of this mother and daughter duo who own and operate a funeral home in Colorado. But it can be hard to get by when you're scraping in a paltry thousand bucks for a cremation. So what do you do when you have a bunch of dead bodies lying around and need a little extra income? Megan Hess, 43, and her mother Shirley Koch, 66, were indicted on charges of obtaining and selling body parts, including legs, heads, and a spine from their funeral home in Montrose, Colorado, according to The Denver Post. U.S. Attorney Jason Dunn said Hess and Koch allegedly sold body parts and gave the incomplete cremated remains to surviving family members from 2010 to 2018. Their scheme brought in hundreds of thousands of dollars. Police said Hess and Koch allegedly offered families their cremation services and charged $1,000 or more, but the cremations often never occurred. Hess allegedly gave one family concrete instead of cremated remains. Some of the body parts had infectious diseases, and some were mailed across the world. Hess and Koch were charged with with mail fraud and illegal transportation of hazardous materials. But the question remains; who buys a head? Stop calling 911 over toilet paper Oregon police are begging residents not to call 911 over a coronavirus-related toilet paper shortage. "It's hard to believe that we even have to post this," writes the Newport Oregon Police Department. "Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance." The coastal city's police department also suggests alternatives for bathroom tissue including "grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls and that empty toilet paper roll sitting on the holder right now." *--- A Mayor in Illinois suspends the constitution ---* Champaign, Illinois mayor Deborah Frank Feinen signed an executive order giving herself the power to order the seizure of firearms, ammunition, alcohol and gasoline during the coronavirus pandemic. The executive order also enables the government to "take possession of private property" and cut off an individual's access to gas, water or electricity. The city promised to "keep the public's best interest in mind" while also handing itself the power to shut down all liquor stores and bars. City manager Jeff Hamilton said, "None of the options will necessarily be implemented but are available in order to protect the welfare and safety of our community if needed." I don't know how smart it would be to attemp to to seize Americans' guns and alcohol during a lockdown. *--- Vegas strip club to offer drive-through peep show ---* One Las Vegas strip club is staying open amid a 30-day shut- down recommended by Gov. Steve Sisolak and taking social distancing to another level by offering drive-through strip shows. Little Darlings strip club will begin offering drive- through strip shows for those who want to indulge in some adult entertainment, but do not want to enter the building. "We're going to offer drive-up window strip shows," said Ryan Carlson, director of operations for Little Darlings. "Guests can drive up to the front door and we're going to have dancers separate by the 6-foot separation rule and they can enjoy a totally nude show right from the seat of their car." The 10 minute drive-up shows will run a patron $100. Tips are encouraged. "On Saturday we're doing nude triple-X hand sanitizer wrestling," Carlson said. "We have about 20 gallons of hand sanitizer, and we're doing a nude hand sanitizer wrestling show." *--- Kids ruin toilet paper stockpile ---* A mom in the U.K. is going viral after a photo of her bath- tub sparked a widespread debate online. Ed Cumming, a TV critic for the Independent newspaper, shared the image to his Twitter account. "My friend bought 18 loo rolls and her kids put them all in the bath." Cumming's image shows the woman's bathtub filled with soggy toilet paper, plus plenty of water and children's toys. It seems to imply that the children tossed all 18 rolls into the tub, ruining them completely. The situation drew plenty of reactions online. "Serves her right for hoarding, doesn't it?" one wrote. Others were quick to defend the mom, writing that 18 rolls wasn't that much for an entire family. "Kids gotta love them," another commented. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: >Wanna Hear A Blonde Joke? `, ___ # /_,/\ |/ ? /" ( | , )\ .Y___ / /__/\ \____ \(__ ,- / \_/ \ / (\ |/| / < _____ _> \ |. ||\ -|.|--/___/ ,___/___\------'-----' '-' |\/ b'ger A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." "Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." -<>- >Like A Baby Sam and Greg lived in a retirement center and were sitting on a bench under a tree when Greg turned to the Sam and said, "Sam, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Sam says, "Well, I feel just like a newborn baby." Greg Said, "Really! Like a baby!" To which Sam replied, "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet myself." -<>- >Glue Gun I'm sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns. -<>- >Something Wrong With Your Back Quasimodo goes to a doctor for his annual checkup. "I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says. "What makes you say that?" Quasimodo asks. "I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's just a hunch." -<>- >Q and A Quickies Q: What do you give a seasick elephant? A: Plenty of room. Q: Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the computer? A: He was looking for the space bar! Q: Why did the fish get kicked out of school? A: Cause he was caught with seaweed. Q: How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? A: She was trying to read a stucco wall. ^----^ (.) (.) \/ / vvvvv \ /v vvvvv v\ /v vvvvv v\ v vvv v v v / \ ejm96 ((( ))) Q: Did you hear about the comedian owl? A: He was a real hoot. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: __ .' '. : : | _ _ | .-.|(o)(o)|.-. _._ _._ ( ( | .--. | ) ) .',_ '. .' _,'. '-/ ( ) \-' / /' `\ \ __ / /' `\ \ / '--' \ /.' \.' './ '.\ \ `"===="` / ` : _ _ : ` `\ /' |(o)(o)| `\ /' | | /`-.-`\_ / \ _.-"`\._/V\_./`"-._ / .--. \ .'/ \ /^\ / \'. | ( ) | / / \| |/ \ \ _\ '--' /__ jgs / / \_/ \ \ .' '-.__.-' `-. "If you clean the receipts out of your purse or wallet and stack them all together, it makes a tiny book about why you're broke." -<>- A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!" -<>- A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put anything in its place, I am always going around the house organizing things." The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I laid the law down firmly with my husband. I told him, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its place.'" The first woman asked, "Did it help?" Her friend said, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since." -<>- While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight- year-old son. Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember, hug Daddy first, then the dog." -<>- "Did you give the prisoner the third degree?" the police sergeant asked the detective. "Yeah, we browbeat him pretty good," nodded the other. "Asked him every question we could think of." "And did you get a confession?" asked the sergeant. "Not exactly," explained the officer. "All he'd say was, 'Yes dear,' and doze off." -<>- _ ((`)_.._ ,'-. _..._ _._ \,' '-._.-\ ' ` .-' .' / ( / | _ _ \ | \ e e | ; .-. / ; ', '-.( '')-' '. | ;-' \ / / / /-._ __, 7 | \ `\ \`` | | | \ \_,\ | |_,\ jgs '-`' \_,\ Walking home one night, this guy hears a, "Psst! Psst!-give me a hand with this pig would you?" Looking into the shadows the guy sees his neighbor holding onto a restless and agitated pig. "What are you planning to do with that?" he asks. "I'm carrying it indoors and putting in the bath tub." "Why do you wanna' do a thing like that?" "Well, you see, it's my wife. She is one of those women who knows EVERYTHING! I tell her that the price of petrol has shot up again...she says I know! I tell her there is more trouble in the East again ... she says I know! I tell her Francis down the street is getting a divorce and she knows that, too. Well, tomorrow morning, since she always gets up before me, I'll wait for her to come running to me screaming 'THERE'S A PIG IN THE BATH! THERE'S A PIG IN BATH!'" And I'll just turn to her and say, "Yeah, I know!" -<>- >Signs of the times SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE: "We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you." Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Septic Tank Truck: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels" At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up." In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." In a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." ========================================================= >-->From Arcamax Jokes: "You should have known better, Mom, than to tell us to get what we need and get in the car. Now you'll never get Billy to Grandma's! Not without his 'puppy'....." \ _ \ ____ \\ \ /\ O O \\ \ /\_\ () ' ' "WAAHH!!" \\________.-~\\ ____/ (((( '/ / %%% \\/ ( oo ` / %%oo% /=====/) \O/ ' \ \__%%-/%__| | \\// \\ \ \ // \\ | | \/__|/ jro / / \) (/ | | //\\ / / /___\ | | (_)(_) \_;; ||| \_;; ||| \_)) >KIDS Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you? Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money! What's a mushroom? The place they store the school food! Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass! My teacher reminds me of history She's always repeating herself! Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself! Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS!" -<>- >Trooper A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem"thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph! Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida state trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back." The trooper replied, "Sir, have a nice day." -<>- '\ . . |>18>> \ . ' . | O>> . 'o | \ . | /\ . | / / .' | jgs^^^^^^^`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >GOLF If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. -<>- _.---,_ .' `'. \ __..-'\ }-"` \ /__,,..---.._| \ | |---..__ | / ``"-./ .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ ,--./...,,,__ / '--.'__ __```.-. /._ / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` `''--/- ""=-,\--._ .---|- ( ""=-. \` \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` '. =/ \ =| .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / / _-( /-.__ ( '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ >CATS Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have? A: A catastrophe! Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China? A: Chairman Miaow! Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A: A cat-a-logue! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Kyle The Goose http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kylegoose.html World's Most Expressive Cat http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/expressivecat.html Al Capone's Car http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/alcaponescar.html Useless Signs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uselesssigns.html Dirty Car Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carart.html Auto MotorPlex!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/automotorplex.html Only ONE Job 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onejob2.html Maxine Humor 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor2.html Humorous Signs 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hsigns2.html Morons at Work 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork3.html Extreme Rednecks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eredneck.html Weird Old Vehicles!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldvehicles.html Amazing Bus Stops!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bus.html Cell Phone Madness!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone.html Life's Little Oops 13!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops13.html USA Of Crazy Laws!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscrazylaws.html Humor In Politics 18!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics18.html Got A Nanosecond 5?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano5.html Truth In Advertising!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ads.html Humorous Boat Names!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boatnames.html Bolivia's Road Of Death!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bolivia.html -<>- Toilet Tissue from The Carol Burnett Show (full sketch) https://tinyurl.com/w2hed6a Buddy Hackett's Duck Joke Has Everyone Rolling on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aww4HT5g7ig Jonathan Winters Carson Tonight Show 19/5-1988 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37xIOcNT_qw Funniest game show moments https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6RXsuIqtzs JOHNNY CARSON INTERVIEW DREW BARRYMORE AGE 7 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-kwwANfmVg -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Animals hug their human friends, expressing their love and appreciation for people. https://youtu.be/Br1zVyZHVag This is fast paced but the hi def scenery is awesome, in what is as close to 3D as possible without wearing special glasses. Put it on full screen for the best effect. https://www.youtube.com/embed/ThFCg0tBDck An exciting compilation of 253 viral videos from 2013 selected and edited by Luc Bergeron (Zapatou). People are really capable of the most amazing things! Enjoy! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-8isxa5B_Y&feature=player_embedded This dog is clearly the best dog ever. He fires off 20 of the most awe-inspiring tricks you've ever seen in just over a minute. Yes, he can ride (and steer) a scooter. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZNPYBVUMe8&feature=player_embedded --- ...Wow! Excellent! These are Tops! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Cloie :) Are America, and Trump, being played? - American Thinker https://tinyurl.com/rmzvatl --- ...Interesting read. Thanks Cloie! I'm not a conspiracy theory advocate by any stretch of the imagination - however, I've been wondering - Hmmm, China wants NO TRUMP real bad right now with all their failing economy due to Trump and they ARE right now blaming the US for this virus instead of where it started - in their country of China - So did they do this new coronavirus on purpose? I don't think they value life with all their humanity issues so loosing some of their own may have been considered worth it to them to have an easy, other then Trump, US President for the next 4 years. Coronavirus... Mar 19, 2020 - Chilling hospital video from Italy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yimp_98UmLw This is from an immunologist at Johns Hopkins University. Feeling confused as to why Coronavirus is a bigger deal than the seasonal flu? Here is the reason hope this helps: https://stpeterdanb.org/news/useful-information --- ...Sad for sure! Great info! Thanks Cloie! They are finding it is affecting people younger than thought... ‘Covid-19 Kills Only Old People.’ Only? Why are we OK with old people dying? https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/22/opinion/coronavirus-elderly.html May God Protect and Keep us all safe through Jesus Christ! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Google has a new service called 'Flights' that is now able to predict flight delays. How it works is, if you're flying United, your flight's delayed." -Conan O'Brien "In financial news, billionaire investor Warren Buffett is facing some criticism after saying in a recent interview, 'You will not be way happier if you double your net worth.' Spoken like someone who has $90 billion. But he is partially right. Happiness does not come from net worth. It comes from the things you can BUY because of your net worth." -James Corden "Amazon is testing a new service that allows couriers to unlock homes and leave packages inside. Learn more about the new service on a future episode of 'Dateline'." -Seth Meyers "It's spring break! Just remember, the partying lasts a week, but the photos will cost you jobs forever." -Jimmy Fallon "After residents in Birmingham complained about the terrible smell, New York City has agreed to stop sending railcars full of the city's excess sewage to a landfill in Alabama. Yeah, train cars filled with human waste and an unbearable smell--or, as that's called in New York, the subway." -James Corden "A nightclub in Miami has lost its business license after a woman brought a horse onto the dance floor. In the night- club's defense, the horse's ID looked real." -Conan O'Brien "Every appliance with a clock should have a Daylight Savings button to push. You'd only use it twice a year, but that's more than I use the 'Potato' button on my microwave." -Jimmy Kimmel "It's Daylight Savings Time. Why does it have to happen on the weekend? Why can't they do it on a Wednesday at 4:00? 'Hey look, now it's 5:00. Time to go home!'"-Stephen Colbert >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************