Happy New Year! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ __, ,__) __, ,__) __, ,__) (--|__| _ ,_ ,_ (--|\ | _ (--\ | _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| \|(/_(_|_) \|(/_(_|| ( | | ,_| ( (__| >-->HAPPY NEW YEAR! Wishing you love, joy, peace, happiness, good health, wealth and prosperity for the 2018 New Year from our beloved God above through our wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! ShangralaFamilyFun.com had a wonderful year last year due to all our kind angels and contributors sharing with us. They enrich our lives! Many heartfelt blessings and thank yous to each of you! .0. / \ ; \_/ ; | | | | | | _______; ;_______ `======='\ /`=======` \ / _ | | _ _( \____|=|____/ )_ ( .---. .---. ) `-' / \ '-' / HUG \ ; ; | .---.|__, jgs : / :--' .--\ \ | `" `"".-' < =""` `"== `""""""` =""` `"""===="""` =""` `""==="""` *~* We Had A Super Duper Caring And Sharing Month Last Month! >Please Be Sure To Visit And Share These With Your Friends: The Shepherd And The Fox! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/shepherdfox.html The Force Of Lake Erie! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lakeerie.html Life's Choices! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifeschoices.html Beautiful Birds And Words! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/birdsandwords.html Dogs VS Elf! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsvself.html Dogs VS Elf 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogsvself2.html Rare Old Rolls-Royce! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rollsroyce.html Vintage Christmas Times! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/vintagechristmas.html Look Who's Talking 12! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking12.html Christmas Day Events! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasevents.html Festivals Around World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldfestivals.html _ ______ / `'. ,-"` '. / /'-.'. ___ .' \ \/ '.\.' ' | .| .'`\ | /`"'--., / \ , _.--'` \/_ | ,----.| _ `_--;` ``` `\-. | | \ | -- C -- _/ \ \ | \ 0 0 / . | | \| ) | '. _.' |.__/ ; \ `'---` / / __ '. .' | (__) /'-._____,-` \ /---'.-""-.\ '. / ||,- \\ ;---`;-._||-= |\ , ."""-. \ ) `|'.___.' \ ___ \'. / '-. \ /`-`-; / \ ,/ `) \ \| \ `` | | \|| / /'.| )_ / || | | \/ .' \ \ .-'/ ` |` |.-' .-~ ~-~-._ |.'` \ ` '-. \___/,__/ ~` _ `~~-., `-.,_\_)`-.,_\) `~-,___ ~___~,,..-~~/ jgs \___/`\____/'._.' *~* Big THANK YOU And Huggums In Christ To All Our Super Contributors! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: * ) * ) * ( ) ( ( ( ) ( ) ) * ) ) ( ( ( ( * ) H ) ) [ ] ( ( * |-| * ) ( * ) |_| . ) ( | | . ) / \ . ' . * ( |_____| ' . . ) | ___ | \~~~/ ' . ( * | \ / | \_/ \~~~/ ) | _Y_ | | \_/ ( * jgs |-----| __|__ | * `-----` __|__ On New Year's Eve, Ann stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death. -<>- There was once an elderly, despondent woman in a nursing home. She wouldn't speak to anyone or request anything. She merely existed - rocking in her creaky old rocking chair. The old woman didn't have many visitors. But every couple mornings, a concerned and wise young nurse would go into her room. She didn't try to speak or ask questions of the old lady. She simply pulled up another rocking chair beside the old woman and rocked with her. Weeks or months later, the old woman finally spoke. 'Thank you,' she said. 'Thank you for rocking with me.'" -<>- As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself. Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television. Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even bought a cold beer for Nigel. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0. "See?" Janet said happily, "You didn't miss a thing." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ January 1 is National Hangover Day and New Year's Day January 2 is Run up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day January 3 Festival of Sleep Day, 3 Fruitcake Toss Day and Humiliation Day January 4 National is Spaghetti Day and Trivia Day January 5 is National Bird Day January 6 is Bean Day, Cuddle Up Day and Feast of the Epiphany - Three Kings January 7 is Old Rock Day ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) o . . o . , . o__ L\ o .-""-. (==) |\_ / (--> \ |~~| o .\ \'--.)_>_=/_( | | . \ )`-._/|_,( | | o _| \ (_ ( \ /|()| o . , `.\ ) \_/\ \//` `\ ____/ ;`__/\ (__'./ \ |===/, ==\======/==|; ____ ; \ _,' o . '-..-' o /||` `|| `'-.__ o' __.-'` || _/\_ || `'..'` ||` `|| || ||PARTY!|| || || || jgs || | \____/ | _.' '._ | | < > \_.-""-._/ `""""""` `""""""` >Smiles Junk Mail What to do with all that junk you get in the mail: Tired of getting all those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd Mortgages, or trying to get you to join their health or auto insurance? If the answer is, "Yes!". Read on. If "no," read on anyway. Well, most if not all of those letters come with a postage "PREPAID" envelope. So why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back (TOTALLY BLANK)! Just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. You can even send it back empty if you want. Keep 'em guessing that way. Eventually, the banks will begin getting all their garbage back in the mail. Let's let them know what's its like to get junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it! Twice! Only in America! ------- KITCHEN WISDOM..... If a messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, then this kitchen is delirious. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. Housework done properly can kill you. Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines. ---------- A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me." ------- Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Judy opened a letter from home one evening.Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent.Sister Judy smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. - Sister Judy," on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day, Sister Judy was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills. "What's this?" she asked. "That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "Don't Despair paid 80-to-1. ------- A lawyer, who had a wife and 8 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house. When he said, he had 8 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie. So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 7 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right -- the agent asked: "How many children do you have?" He answered: "Eight." The agent asked, "Where are the others?" The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered "They're in the cemetery with their mother." ---------- Carol, a former nurse, went to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt a little ignorant about all the new procedures and technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy,", said Carol, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," The man looked at Carol, smiled, and said, "So would I, It's the floor - cleaning machine." ---------- Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station, so she could go visit her sister, who was ill. Ten minutes later, MY sister arrived by train -- so that she could help with the house and kids over the weekend while my wife was gone. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse -- my sister departing by train, only 10 minutes prior to my wife's arrival. One Friday evening -- after my sister left and while I awaited my wife's arrival -- a porter sauntered over to me. "Mister," he remarked, "you sure have some system going! But one of these days you're goin' ta get caught!" ---------- Liz was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?" The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, "A Life Sentence" ---------- A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket, and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that wall!" ---------- Life just isn't fair to men... When we're born, our Mom gets the compliments and the flowers. When we're married, our bride gets the presents and the publicity. When we die, our widow gets the life insurance and winter cruises. What do women want to be liberated from? --- ...Oh Gee, HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- _____ ( / ___ \ + ) |:...:| ASCII Art Gallery: ( \:::::/ http://www.ascii-art.com ) * `-T-' ____ ( + | /\ .' /\ * __|__ |K-----; | | jgs `-----` \/ '.___\/.::::....happy new year! >New Year Toasts As we start the New Year, Let's get down on our knees to thank God we're on our feet. ~ Irish ~ Stir the eggnog, lift the toddy, Happy New Year, everybody. Here's to the bright New Year And a fond farewell to the old; Here's to the things that are yet to come And to the memories that we hold. As you slide down the banisters of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. Here's to you a New Year's Toast May your Joy ne'er see a Sorrow's Ghost. In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want. ~ Irish ~ -<>- May we live to learn well, and learn to live well. May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live. In the year ahead, May we treat our friends with kindness and our enemies with generosity. Let us resolve to do the best we can with what we've got. ~ William Feather ~ -<>- May all your troubles during the coming year be as short as your New Year's resolutions. May it be the best year yet for you And everything prosper you may do. May the best of this year be the worst of next. Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring happy bells across the snow; The year is going, let him go. ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson ~ -<>- _ _|_|_ ,|_| |_|_ || | | |_| || | | | | || | | | | _|| | | | | ||)\ ^ ^ ^ | || | | || | | || | | \\ | \\ / ejm )\ ( / \ \ / \ \ \ \ >Another year is dawning Another year is dawning, Dear Father let it be, In working or in waiting, Another year with thee. Another year of progress, Another year of praise, Another year of proving Thy presence all the days. Another year of mercies, Of faithfulness and grace, Another year of gladness, The glory of thy face. Another year of leaning Upon thy loving breast, Another year of trusting, Of quiet, happy rest. Another year of service, Of witness for thy love, Another year of training For holier work above. Another year is dawning, Dear Father, let it be, On earth, or else in heaven, Another year for thee. --- ...Amen! Thank you bunches LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) ' . ' . . . : . . '. ______ .' ' _.-"` `"-._ ' .' '. `'--. / \ .--'` / \ ; ; - -- | | -- - | _. | ; /__`A ,_ ; .-' \ |= |;._.}{__ / '-. _.-""-|.' # '. ` `.-"{}<._ / 1938 \ \ x `" ----/ \_.-'|--X---- -=_ | | |- X. =_ - __ |_________|_.-'|_X-X## jgs `'-._|_|;:;_.-'` '::. `"- .:;. .:. ::. '::. >Farmer Casserole Ingredients: 6 c. frozen shredded hash browns 1 1/2 c.shredded Cheddar cheese 2 cups diced cooked ham 1/2 c. sliced green onions 8 large beaten eggs Two 12-ounce c. evaporated milk 1/4 t. salt 1/4 t. pepper Arrange potatoes evenly in the bottom of the dish. Sprinkle with cheese, ham and green onion. In a large mixing bowl, combine eggs, milk, salt and pepper. Pour egg mixture over potato mixture in dish. Bake at 350 45-55 min. --- ...Hmmm, doesn't sound too bad... Thanks Linda! -<>- >OLD PERSON PRIDE I'm passing this on as I did not want to be the only old person receiving it. Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. ...Old People are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem. Old People remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them. ...Old People remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peace- keeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam. ...If you bump into an Old Person on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Person on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old People trust strangers and are courtly to women. ...Old People hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady or child is on the inside for protection. ...Old People get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies. ...Old People have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren. It's Old People who remove their hats while eating in a restaurant in respect for the ladies and guests. It's the Old People who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country. This country needs Old People with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values. We need them now more than ever. Thank God for Old People. Pass this on to all of the "Old People" you know. I was taught to respect my elders. It's just getting harder and harder to find them. AMEN... --- ...HaHa! It's confirmed, I am an 'old' person! Thanks Linda! Must be why I like President Trump - he's an 'old' person too! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From Our Friend Victor :) This winter Sucks! Even Sharks Are Freezing to Death: Winter Rages and the Nation Reels https://tinyurl.com/y87rgh2q --- ...Wow! Gotta Bundle up! Thanks Victor! WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Under President Donald J. Trump, Americans Are Getting Back To Work! AMERICA’S ECONOMY IS FIRING ON ALL CYLINDERS: President Donald J. Trump has unleashed America’s economic growth engine and ushered in a new era of economic optimism. https://tinyurl.com/y9n68bsz Latest At FoxNews: http://www.foxnews.com/ Latest From MRC News: https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck Latest From TrueDailyNews: http://truedaily.news/category/news/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: A Missouri student's dedication is going viral thanks to a photo of her finishing up a final exam while sitting in a hospital bed preparing to give birth. Nayzia Thomas, a sophomore at Johnson County Community College, tweeted a photo that her mother snapped of her finishing up her psychology final on Dec. 11 while in labor at the hospital. Thomas said she wanted to be done with the semester before the birth of her son, Anthony Johnson, who arrived about 12 hours later on Dec. 12. "It wasn't due until the end of the week," Thomas said. "But my goal was to try to have everything done before. [I thought] before all this gets crazy, let me hurry up and finish this final." "School is so important to me," she said. "I didn't want [pregnancy] to be in the way. That's what people expect. You're a teen mom, you're a young mother. That's why my mom took that picture." Thomas said that despite the extra hardships that come with pregnancy, she finished the semester with a 3.5 GPA. "It shows I follow through," she said. -<>- Some people just don't know when to say 'when.' You would think that after a long and fruitful life that included giving birth to 13 kids, a person would be satisfied. But not this woman. She went out of the way, and out of the country to have four more...at age 65! Doctors in Germany say quadruplets born prematurely three months ago to a 65-year-old woman are doing well and can leave a Berlin hospital soon. Charite hospital said that the babies all weigh more than 2.5 kilograms (88 ounces) and should be able to go home this month. The quadruplets are a girl named Neeta and three boys named Dries, Bence and Fjonn, who were delivered during the 26th week of pregnancy by cesarean section. Mother Annegret Raunigk is believed to be the oldest woman to have ever delivered quadruplets. The retired schoolteacher already has 13 other children aged 10 to 44 from five fathers. She traveled abroad to have donated, fertilized eggs implanted, a procedure that is illegal in Germany. *----------- Just Like In The Movies -----------* Authorities in Florida said they arrested a man who attempted to evade deputies by clinging to the back of a semi truck. Edwin Rivera captured video of a man standing on the ledge at the rear of a tractor-trailer and clinging while the truck drove at high speeds. "I thought about getting behind the truck to get a better view, but then again, I thought real quick and I said, 'What if this man falls? What if he jumps?'" Rivera said. The Orange County Sheriff's Office identified the man as Derrick Maestas, 20. They said Maestas was using the truck as a getaway vehicle to try to avoid arrest attacking a woman in connection with an argument on a Lynx bus. Sheriff's office spokeswoman Jane Watrel said deputies had an easy time tracking down Maestas thanks to numerous calls from members of the public about a man riding on the back of a truck. *-- Investigators: New York man pretended to be doctor, prescribed medication --* STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - A 43-year-old former flight attendant was arrested Friday on charges he pretended to be a medical doctor and psychologist, allegedly treating more than 100 patients from his basement apartment for the past three years. Donald Lee-Edwards, of New York, never graduated medical school or earned a doctoral degree to be licensed for either profession, Acting Richmond County District Attorney Daniel Master said. But he prescribed patients medications and took blood and urine samples, investigators said. "He merely bestowed upon himself the professional titles of clinical psychologist and medical doctor," Master said. "He is neither trained nor licensed to provide any mental health or medical services." Prosecutors said Lee-Edwards had been seeing patients since 2013, billing himself as having worked "extensively with family members and victims of 9/11," although it was unclear if he actually did. Lee-Edwards' attorney Matthew Blum said there is no evidence he ever harmed anyone. "They're alleging he was some sort of doctor who was operating on people," Blum said. "They're turning this guy into a monster. He was really just trying to help some people in his community." Investigators said Lee-Edwards came to the attention of law enforcement after a patient became suspicious of his unorthodox bedside manner, talking about other patients, bragging he graduated high school at age 13 and saying he attended law school. *-- Autocorrect error puts 'wee blind girl' atop birthday cake --* HAMILTON, Scotland - A Scottish mom's request for a "wee blonde girl" atop her daughter's birthday cake led to an unusual cake topper when autocorrect changed "blonde" to "blind." Lanarkshire resident Emily Seggie shared a picture on Twitter of her sister's birthday cake, which was topped with a "wee blind girl" as a result of her mother's autocorrect mishap while sending a text message to the baker. The girl atop the cake has dark hair instead of the intended blonde and her eyes are closed while she holds a toothpick as a cane. "The text must have autocorrected to 'blind girl' and when my mum went to collect it she was wondering why it wasn't blonde. They then realized what had happened after checking the text and decided to leave it on as was funny. Hope no one is offended," Seggie told Buzzfeed News. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) __ /\/'-, ,--''''' /" ____,'. ) \___ '"""""------'"""`-----' pb >Life's Creation On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" And God said that it was good. On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God again said that it was good. On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed it was good. On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch. --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: O O & O =\\^^^//: _\|__ =\\^^//: =\\///: / ( )_\ =\\//:_ / ^^^ \ ;/__)_( _._ \ O ___ \ / O O ~ ~ ( ) | _._ \/ _> / \~ ~ =\\^/: =\\^^//: / | \ | | _[_]_ | | _=\\/: =\\//: O / ~ ~ | | \ | \ \___/ / / / \ /_oo-#= /|\/|\ ~/|\ ~ /|\ ~ Q ~ ~ O ~ | \/ O /|\ =\\|: C @=. |\ O =\\^^^//: (o\_)=="# =\|:__ /|\/ | / \ =\\^^//: =\\///: \| |\ \ \ \| | ~ ~ ejm97 _=\\//: / ^^^ / ~H| |/ ~ ~ /\ | __.__ \ / ~ ~ ~ / / |( |()| ~ ~ ~ ~ _|_) |__| The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor. Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal. The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage. The music stopped. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, "Who did that? Who did that?" -<>- I'm a driving examiner for the state of Indiana, and while I was giving a road test to a young man, he went through a red light without stopping. I told him that he had automatically failed the test. We met up with his mother back at the office, and I explained what had happened. At first she was speechless. Then she asked incredulously, "He ran a red light?" "Yes," I replied. "Well," persisted the mom, "how red was the light?" -<>- Since I had been selling water beds for almost four years, I thought I had heard every question imaginable. But then a customer asked me, "Can you deliver it filled with water?" Stunned, I replied, "Are you kidding? It would weigh over twelve hundred pounds!" After a short pause, she said, "Could you do it if I helped you carry it in?" -<>- "Are you all right?" my seatmate on the plane asked, after noticing tears roll down my cheeks. "I'm flying my husband's ashes home for burial," I explained, "and it just struck me that this will be our last trip together." "I know how you feel," she said. "I had my horse for 20 years and just put him to sleep last week." -<>- A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what they had learned. Susie said, "He was born in a manger." Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple." Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it." Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?" "From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'" -<>- >KEYS TO SUCCESS: Voice Mail Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want you to DO work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during the lunch hour. That way, you're regarded as hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full" a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand. ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: __________________________________________________ )_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(( /_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(\ /_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(\ /_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(\ /_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(\ /_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(\ _,(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(/ \_(_(_(_(_(_(_(`,_ ) `(_(_(_(_(,' ____________________________________ `._(_(_(_(,' ( \ ____________,|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|`.____________ / Y|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__Y |_|_|.-----------------.|_||.-----------------.|__||.----------.||_| |__|||\ ___ __ __ /||__|| ______ ,-. | |||__||____ |bb||_|| ||__|| |()-| | | | |||_|| |____| _`-' '-||_|_|| |o\| ||__| |_|_|| ;(:)' |. |_ : ||_||| |.||.|| | --||__|||.|--'. .|||_| |__|||/_\_/____|__|_||\||__||__|-''-||_-|_.---|||__||_|___|\__|||_|| ||__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__| |_|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|_| |__||.-----------------.|__|.--------.--------.||__|.---.---.--.|_|| ||__|| ___ ,-. __ |||_||.--. /_\ [o] ||_|_|| |---|/ ||__| |_|_|||SSt| `-' | | ||_||||[]| _____ /\ ||__||| |---|/ |||_| |__||| ____ _.=._ | .| ||__||'--' )__)__( _()_|||__|| |---|/ .||_|| ||__|||~o:~|_____||__|_|||_||____(_______)|--|||_|_|||---|/\__|||__| |_|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|_| |__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|| ||__|.-----------------.|__|.-----------------.||__|.---.---.--.|__| |_|_|| _ __ _ __ |||_|| ,---. __ _____||_|_|| |---|/ |||_| |__||||O\|)(|/O| | | ||_|||_`---' |OO||-|-|-||__||| |---|/ ||_|| || ||',-'--'-.' | .| || || ),---.|||||-|-|-||| || |---|/ .|| | >Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** ** "Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of friendship." ~Dorothy Parker ============== ** "Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought." ~Henri Bergson ============== ** In poverty and other misfortunes of life, true friends are a sure refuge. ~Aristotle ============== ** "Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. ~Sydney Smith ============== ** Joy is the feeling of grinning on the inside. ~~ Dr. Melba Colgrove, author ============== ** "People who think they know everything sure bug those of us who do." ============== ** Don't watch the clock. Do what it does. Keep going. ~~ Sam Levenson ============== ** Before everything else, getting ready is the secret to success. ~~~ Henry Ford ============== ** Knowing the truth and living the truth are two different things. ============== ** Nothing makes you realize you don't know what you want more than getting what you want. ~~- Jane Wagner, actress ============== ** Worry a little every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything. ~~ Mary Hemingway -<>- , , /////| ///// | ///// | |~~~| | | |===| |/| | B |/| | | I | | | | B | | | | L | / | E | / |===|/ jgs '---' >Inspiration - “God-Given Resolutions” "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God" - Romans 8:14 Many people make a New Year's Resolution to lose weight, exercise more, read the Bible more, pray more, etc. Although these are good, when next year rolls around you know that people will once again be making the same resolutions to lose weight, exercise more, read the Bible more, pray more, etc. A lot of people will be making the same resolutions this year that they did last year(and likely the same next year). Why? Because they didn’t keep their resolutions. Thus comes the question of why didn't they keep it? I think the answer can be found primarily in three answers: 1) We are not taking our resolution seriously. 2) We are having a problem with a lack of discipline. 3) It may be that your resolution wasn’t a God-given resolution - one led by the Spirit. Although I’m not against New Year's resolutions, I do feel God would prefer us to live in “God-Given Resolutions”. By that, I mean that we should resolve to live our best for God every day. Don’t wait for the New Year (Jan. 1st) to make changes; make them as soon as God speaks to your heart! As a matter of fact, some of you may need to let go of YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION and pick up on GOD'S RESOLUTION for you. It might be quite different than YOUR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION. Also, as the year goes on, constantly be letting God work new changes in you, then when January 1st rolls around next year, you will either have no new resolutions to make or you’ll have one that just happens to fall on January 1. Good-bye New Year's Resolutions; hello to God's Resolutions! -<>- .~~~~. |2018| _|____|_ }-{ A P P Y (_,/\ \ \,~,/(`^ ^( ) /\/ E W \_/ ) \-' ) ( |\| (.-' '--.) \./ \( /(_)-(_) \ | E A R \\/ /\ /`\ \ \_/ / . \ // /'---'\`/_ _/ ^ ^ ;--; .--`| ^ ^ /` `), /` . \ ^ /` ) . '). ~^~`/ ( \^ / ( ' \^-~`-~ - ^ ~^- . )/ . ) '-.;~^-~^~- ~^~- / `\ - . ~^~ ,-.`~~^~^~^ ~- `^_~-~^-| \^ \~_~^ -~^~- ~^`~^ ^~ ~_jgs .-./__/\__`\-. ~^_-~^- ~^- ^~ `-^~=~-`=~-~=-' ~ >Too Late To Date ** After the death of a never-married 94-year-old spinster, the rector was given a note from her personal belongings. In the woman's handwriting were specific instructions for her funeral service. Along with the suggestions for Scripture readings and music were the following orders: "There will be no male pallbearers. Since they wouldn't take me out when I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead." -<>- >Violin Practice ** Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?" -<>- ____ .'` `\ ;---.._ \ ,=,==, \_...__\ | __\|_/__ | a a '.| | || |--.o.--'(_) | || |-' = '-` )-. |___||___| ) \ |"""||"""| ) | |__ || _| ) | /` )||__\'\;'--.-' | \ /`-;( / .' / '-.; '--| ; .-'| jgs `'--.;--'...-' >If I Were Santa If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do? I'd dump the silly gifts that are given to you, and deliver some things just inside your front door, things you have lost, but treasured before. I'd give you back all your vigor, and to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. Then I'd restore the old color that once graced your hair before rinses and bleaches took residence there. I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted, so things now suspended need not be uplifted. I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks. I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin, so you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells, and you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes, no searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose. Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny from a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny. You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take, and no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache. Yes, if I were Santa you'd never look stupid. You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid. I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle, and the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle. But alas! I'm not Santa, I'm simply just me, the most matronly matron you ever did see. I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got, but I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere, best wishes to all and have a prosperous New Year! -<>- ^ _...._ ^ .' '. _...._ ^ / \' '. |X / \ -. \ |X | ^ .-. |'.-. .' \ / \;/ `/\` '. .' / \ ( `/\` / \ \ ^ `) ^ / \ ) ( ^ /'-...-'\ ( \ /-.__ __.-\ ) jgs '._ ` _.' ^ / `"""""` >Ponder On These Things ** ** How come wrong numbers are never busy? ** Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"? ** Does that screwdriver belong to Philip? ** Does killing time damage eternity? ** Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? ** Why is it that night falls but day breaks? ** Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? ** Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? ** Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? ** Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? ** Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop? ** Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? ** Did Noah keep his bees in archives? ** Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? ** Do pilots take crash-courses? ** Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? ** Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? ** Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? ** Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? ** How can there be self-help "groups?" ** How do you get off a non-stop flight? ** How do you write zero in Roman numerals? ** How many weeks are there in a light year? ** If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? ** If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? ** If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? ** If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them? ** If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of? ** If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? ** If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do? ** If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? ** If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? ** If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? ** If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? ** Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child? -<>- >Male Chauvinism Is Dead ** Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work! But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired." -<>- >The Blonde Woman Drives... Well, Sort Of ** A truck driver tried to edge his semi past the lady driver on the road ahead of him as she was obviously having difficulty deciding which lane she wanted to be in. Finally, her mind made up, the woman veered into the truck driver's lane and jammed on her brakes, which resulted in a slight collision. Unhurt but obviously harried, the lady driver rushed over to the truck driver and started to bawl him out, barking, "You knew I was going to do something idiotic. Why didn't you stop to wait and see what it was?" -<>- >How To Work A Husband ** While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took out a breath mint dispenser that was shaped like a miniature person. "How does that thing work?" she asked. As I turned the figurine's arm to pop the mint out, my sister laughed. "I see..it's a lot like my husband," she said. "You have to twist his arm to get anything out of him." -<>- >Learning Fractions ** Miss Figpot was teaching her class of young students about the usefulness of fractions. It was a math lesson that the children were enjoying immensely. After numerous children answered the questions posed to them correctly, it was now Little Johnny's turn. Miss Figpot asked, "Johnny, if your father earned $100.00 and gave half of it to your mother, what would she have?" "A heart attack!" replied Little Johnny. -<>- >The Tombstone ** Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent, Until I know which way you went. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) World's Most Spectacular Places 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces3.html Weird Old Vehicles! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldvehicles.html Bucket List 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bucketlist2.html Beware Of Dog Signs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bewareofdog.html Pets Left Home Alone!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petshome.html Look Who's Talking 9!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking9.html Animals And Windows!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsandwindows.html Baby, It's Cold Outside!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coldpets.html Exotic Birds! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exoticbirds.html Got A Nanosecond 7? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nano7.html Snow Fun 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowfun2.html Journey Through Life!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/journey.html Important Life Truths!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetruths.html Attitude Is Everything!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude.html Animals First Snow!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsfirstsnow.html Church Mouse Wisdom!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/churchmouse.html Inspirational Life Quotes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifequotes.html Famous Inspiring Women!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/womenquotes.html Random Acts Of Kindness!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/actsofkindness.html Inspirational Movie Quotes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moviequotes.html Return To Me - God! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/return.html Kids On Angels! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cangels.html New Year's Advice! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newyearadvice.html Christmas/New Year Index! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Homemade Sauerkraut Balls - Amish 365: Amish Recipes - Amish Cooking http://www.amish365.com/homemade-sauerkraut-balls/ --- ...Thank You Melody! Revisiting... Disney goes goofy over mention of 'God' 10-year-old girl stunned when she tries to thank Creator http://www.wnd.com/2014/12/disney-goes-goofy-over-mention-of-god/ YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT GOD ON CNN: Seconds After NFL Star Says “Jesus Died For My Sins”, CNN Shuts Him Down http://tinyurl.com/pbevbgq --- ...Wowsers! Thanks Melody! Yes, anti-Christian bigotry is going on more often then we think! Time we start standing up for Christianity! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us one we have here... Wisdom Of Peanuts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wisdomofpeanuts.html --- ...Awww, such a sweet one! Thanks Linda! Lolol Happy new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Exercise For Seniors - Keep Dancing! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D7JEraIyUA --- ...Wow! Love it! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Meryl Streep, Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, Olivia NewtonJohn & Cher sing 'What A Wonderful World' as an anthem of hope for our beautiful planet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHRGYLutYAY Auld Lang Syne performed live by Sissel as part of a Happy New Year video greeting card. This New Years video features some beautiful scenery and of course a wonderful rendition of a timeless song. 2017 was another good year for me and my family and I’m looking forward to 2018 being a good year as well. I hope you enjoy this video and that each New Year is better than the last for you. Happy New Year! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rtajxo8d7js --- ...Awww, so nice! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A Vatican cardinal said Jesus was the original tweeter. I don't know how popular he was. He only had 12 followers." -Conan O'Brien "A company in California has started selling a new cologne that smells like whiskey. I think my dad's been wearing that cologne for 40 years." -Jimmy Fallon "It is officially one week until Christmas. That means if you're a guy, you have six days until you have to start shopping." -Conan O'Brien "Ninety-nine percent of the eggnog purchased all year is purchased during the week before Christmas. And 99 percent of that eggnog is poured down the drain during the week after Christmas." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep." -Seth Meyers "I was thinking about Santa Claus. When you really think about it, this has to be the biggest, most elaborate prank in the history of the world. It's like we're all in on a huge joke we're playing on kids. And eventually they figure it out and they start lying to their kids, too." -Jimmy Kimmel "Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa." -Matt Groening "There was an 11-hour power outage at the airport in Atlanta yesterday. And people were stranded on the tarmac for six hours. Don't worry, though, flight attendants came through every hour with a thimble-size cup of room temperature water." -Jimmy Fallon .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. __, ,__) __, ,__) __, ,__) (--|__| _ ,_ ,_ (--|\ | _ (--\ | _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| \|(/_(_|_) \|(/_(_|| ( | | ,_| ( (__| .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. Huggums!... :) Shangy! >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? 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