Happy New Year SMILES ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
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Group home page:
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Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
*~* MAY EVERYONE HAVE A MOST BLESSED AND HAPPY NEW YEAR'S CELEBRATION!
(
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>From Our Friend KayS :)
^ _...._ ^
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^ / \' '.
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Happy New Year!
http://tinyurl.com/b4tsg65
---
...Awww, lovely!! Thank You Kay!
-<>-
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
2012 has been a most wonderful year for ShangralaFamilyFun.com!
The site celebrated its 15th year and with it, it saw one of
its pages go viral experiencing almost 3 million hits...
Yahoo reports the page Akiane Child Prodigy at 2,803,299 hits.
Akiane Child Prodigy
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html
I gave the site to God and asked Him and Jesus Christ to use it.
Jesus lead the believers to Akiane's page there. It is a great
witness for believers and unbelievers alike. Needless to say,
the site was 'blown' up several times as traffic overloaded it.
It was quite a tremendous blessing and allowed us to no longer
actively seek donations to help support the site. God's finger
is on it and is blessing it now.
Paul and I are most thankful to God and Praise Him and Jesus
Christ! They are a super awesome dynamic dual! THE BEST!
We also extend our gratitude and much thanks to you for sharing
all your wonderful forwards with us and for sending out our
links and forwards to your friends and family. With your help
and God's grace may www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com continue to go
and grow throughout all the coming new year!
Together we can help spread God's Word and uplift His sweet children!
-<>-
>-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This first super too hot to touch one again comes from not just
one or two of our friends, not even three or four but FIVE Of
our friends - Linda, BrendaC, PatDeE, Bunni, and KarenF! This
one is so adorable it will peek your aww meter for the week!
Check it out here...
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Adopted Chimp
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/adoptedchimp.html
---
...Aww, such a heartwarming one! Thank You My friends!
This next super hottie is from our friend Linda. It is one of
those that leaves you saying - Really? Check out this amazing
one here...
, ,
, # # ,
___#_#______#_#___
[__________________]
|=_= =_ == _ =_ =|
|- =-_ = _= = __-|
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_|-| ! `( ! |-|_
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|jgs|/^\^=^^=^/^\| _=|
Wood Stacking Art!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodstacking.html
---
...Wow! Left me flabbergasted! Amazing! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
*~* We HAD A FANTASTIC MONTH OF CARING AND SHARING!!
PLEASE Be Sure To Check These Out And Share Them With Your Friends!
100 Years Ago!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/yearsago.html
Golden Memories!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goldenoldie.html
Golden Memories 2!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/goldenoldie2.html
Maxine Christmas!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinechristmas.html
Puppy Christmas!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/puppychristmas.html
Amazing Photos!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingphotos.html
Happy Thoughts!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/happythoughts.html
Chalk Art 6!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chalkart6.html
God's Most Beautiful!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mostbeautiful.html
Snow Quilts!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowquilts.html
_.
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*~* MAY GOD SUPER BLESS ALL OUR SWEET CONTRIBUTORS! THANK YOU!
=======================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone: Two Free Tickets To The Show
_
mMm _[_]_
A young couple got married and went away on /(")\ (")
their honeymoon. After two weeks they came //)^(\\//:\\
back and finally put away all of the presents /(/&@&\\/|~|/
they received from friends and family. Since / /-~`~-\ |||
this was a new home, the process took some `/ \|||
time. `----------'--
The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for
display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom
drawers.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular
show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and
warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the
envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single
line.
"Guess who sent them."
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the
effort. They went to the theater, and had a wonderful time. On their
return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the
unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of
value. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper
on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the
tickets:
"Now you know!"
=======================================================
+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
December 31 is Unlucky Day
January 1 is First Foot Day and Z Day More Info on Z Day
January 2 is Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day
January 3 is Festival of Sleep Day
January 4 is Trivia Day and Humiliation Day
January 5 is Bird Day
January 6 is Bean Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
_
___ (_)
_/XXX\
_ /XXXXXX\_ __
X\__ __ /X XXXX XX\ _ /XX\__ ___
\__/ \_/__ \ \ _/X\__ /XX XXX\____/XXX\
\ ___ \/ \_ \ \ __ _/ \_/ _/ - __ - \
___/ \__/ \ \__ \\__ / \_// _ _ \ \ __ / \____/
/ __ \ / \ \_ _//_\___ __/ // \___/ \/ __/
__/_______\________\__\_/________\__/_/____/_____________/_______\____/____
___
/L|0\
/ | \
/ \
/ | \
/ \
/ __ | __ \
/ __/ \__ \
/ /__ | __\ \
/___________________\
/ | \
/ _|_ \
/ ____/___\____ \
___________[o0o]___________
O O O
Paul Tomblin
>Airport Mistletoe
It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well,
and he was ready to go home. The airport on the other hand had turned a
tacky red and green with loudspeakers blared annoying elevator
renditions of cherished Christmas carols.
Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly
tired, he was not in a particularly good mood.
Going to check in his luggage, he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real
mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder
parts and green paint on some of the flatter and "pointier" parts, that
could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.
With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it,
he said to the lady attendant, "Even if I were not married, I would not
want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."
"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."
(pause)
"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd
have to step forward for a kiss."
"That's not why it's there."
(pause)
"Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"
"It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."
-<>-
________ .====
[________>< :===
'====
________ ___,,,,,,,
[________>__________\
________ .==.
jgs [________>c((_ )
'=='
>Fruitcake Recipe #1
1. Go to the crafts store.
2. Purchase one or more bags of dried fruit, some plaster of paris,
brown paint and a disposable cake pan.
3. Return home.
4. Unwrap the dried fruit, carefully folding the wrapper inside-out and
placing it at the bottom of your trash can. Better yet, send it through
your personal paper shredder and use it for insulation in the attic.
5. Mix the plaster of paris with water and pour into the disposable
cake pan. Place dried fruit on top, gently pushing in so it looks
"baked" in the "batter." Let dry.
6. Take your "fruitcake" out of the disposable cake pan.
7. Cover the top, bottom and sides with brown paint, avoiding the fruit.
8. Wrap your "fruitcake" in festive, colored saran wrap and finish with
a bow. I like using red wrap because it gives a warm glow to the
"fruitcake."
9. Give your "fruitcake" to someone you want to impress. When they lift
it, they'll say, "Wow! You must have made a really rich fruitcake!"
Don't forget to smile and say, "Oh, its Paris-style fruitcake."
10. Don't worry about someone trying to eat your fruitcake. Nobody
actually eats fruitcake ... that's just a rumor. Just so you know, the
dried fruit won't go "bad" because it has the same preservatives as
Twinkies, which have a shelf-life of about 237 years.
-<>-
__________ .-"""-.
/ ''''---' .' \
jgs\__________....---. '. /
'-...-'
>Fruitcake Recipe #2
Items Needed:
4 Oz. Fruit Bits
4 Oz Dried Raisins
1 Railroad Tie
Wood Saw
Large Rubber Mallet
Safety Goggles
WEAR YOUR SAFETY GOGGLES. (Children: Get help from an adult!)
1. Cut a one-foot section from the middle of your railroad tie. The
resulting block of wood should be the size and shape of a loaf of bread.
2. Take the fruit bits and raisins (five-year-old dried raisins are
preferred) and pound them into the block with your rubber mallet.
Spread the colors around, or you might wind up with an ugly fruitcake.
Don't be afraid to throw some elbow grease into that mallet! Good fruit
bits and dried raisins should be much harder than the railroad tie, so
you can't break anything.
3. For best result, you should pretreat the fruit bits by setting them
on top of your garage for a year (or by microwaving them on HIGH for 30
minutes).
4. Finally, cover it tightly in plastic wrap, and decorative paper with
a lovely bow on top and give your loved ones the timeless and enduring
gift of fruitcake!
WHO EVER EATS FRUITCAKE ANYWAY?
(Please don't send me email about this ... my wife loves fruitcake. But
then, she's fond of me, too. Hmmmm.......)
-<>-
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) |||| |||| ( / .''::: .: '. \ | | / \
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'-' '-' '-'
>Holiday Eating Tips
I hate aspects of this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism
and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police
come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get
through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds.
1. About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a
holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact if
you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving
rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch.
You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who
cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're
going to turn into an eggnogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy
it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later then you think. It's
Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other peoples food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Years, You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
yourself near them, and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or,
if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor
Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean have
some standards, mate.
10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the
party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.
Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around
the corner.
-<>-
>Santa's Reindeer
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male
and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (which are the
only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so). Male
reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late
November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the
spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's
reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolf to Blitzen........had
to be a female.
We should have known this when they were able to find their way.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Bunni :)
\\\\
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___/( /(
/--/ \\//
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jgs '--`
>Advice - Walk your path one step at a time
Life's circumstances are not always what you may wish them to be. The
pattern of life does not necessarily go as you plan.Beyond any
understanding, you may at times be led in different directions that you
never imagined, dreamed,or designed.
Yet if you had never put any effort into choosing a path, or try to
carry out your dream, then perhaps you would no direction at all.
Rather than wondering about or questioning the direction you life has
taken, accept the fact that there is a path before you now.
Shake off the ''why's'' and ''what if's'', and rid yourself of
confusion. Whatever was - is in the past. Whatever is - is what's
important. The past is a brief reflection. The future is yet to be
realized. Today is here.
Walk your path one step at a time - with courage, faith and
determination. Keep your head up, and cast your dreams to the stars.
Soon your steps will become firm and your footing will be solid again.A
path that you never imagined will become the most comfortable direction
you could ever hoped to follow.
Keep your belief in yourself and walk into your new journey. You will
find it magnificent, spectacular, and beyond your wildest imaginings.
-Vicki Silvers
---
...Great advice for the new year! Thanks Bunni!
-<>-
*umph*
|
_ \ / _
_|#| .-. .-. |#|_
|#|#|______/ /_ .-'-. _\ \______|#|#|
[|#|#|------| ( || | || ) |------|#|#|]
|#|#| |__|_.-'''-._|__| Pr|#|#|
"|#| 59|#|"
" "
>Funnies...
A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.
-<>-
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
-<>-
The 50-50-90 rule:
Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
of getting something right,
there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
---
...HaHa! Thanks Bunni!
-<>-
>Thoughts
.
.
.
. ,-,--.
__| //``-, \
\_`\ )\a-a-? \
\ \_`(_=_/_-`__
\__, , \| |
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(_)(_`__(_,---' |
( _( ) |
/ /_| |________|
__/__/__|__|_________)
_________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic
"The seeds of kindness that you plant today,
will Bloom in the hearts of those you touch."
"It's hard to wait around for something
that you know might never happen,
but it's even harder to give up,
when you know it's everything you want."
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts
and don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
"Feelings are much like waves.
We can't stop them from coming but
we can choose which one to surf."
You are NOT a rug.
Everyone may try to walk all over you,
but you do not have to lie there and take it!
The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
---
...Wow! Expressions of my thoughts! A Big YEAH! Thanks Bunni!
-<>-
>Good Tips
No More Tears
To reduce tears while cutting onions, freeze onions for 20 minutes
before chopping. Also, use a very sharp knife when chopping onions and
chop quickly. You can save both time and tears by chopping many onions
at once. Freeze the extras in an airtight container for up to 3 months.
(Before sautéing, thaw the onions and pat them dry. Frozen chopped
onions can be added directly to soups or casseroles.)
Yellow Mustard for Burn Relief
I got a nasty steam burn while cooking. It was late on a Saturday
evening and nothing I tried worked to relieve the burning. I "googled"
burn relief and found many sites stating to use yellow mustard for burn
relief, from the fridge works best. I figured it couldn't hurt.
Immediately upon slathering it onto my arm, the burning stopped! After
about 15 minutes, I washed it off and the burning started back up. So I
slathered it on again, covered the area with non adherent pads, and
covered that with gauze roll. The next morning, I unwrapped and washed
the area. The burning was gone, and just some redness of the skin was
left. No blistering at all! Try it, you will be amazed!
---
...This is true - More remedies here...
http://www.health911.com/burns
Keep Rodents Out During Winter
If you have had problems with rodents invading your house in the
winter, try this helpful tip. Place Bounce Softener dryer sheets into
the little crevices and cracks where they are coming in. Place them
around the pipes under sinks, too. They don't like the smell and they
won't chew through them because of the taste.
---
...From JMonroe
I had mice make a nest, ON TOP OF a sheet of Bounce.
http://www.irv2.com/forums/f59/keeping-mice-out-of-the-rv-62714.html
Five Grocery Shopping Mistakes To Avoid
Going to the grocery store can be an expensive affair. We all have the
story of the time we went in to spend $10 and ended up spending $100.
However, with a little planning and good decision making, any grocery
shopper can keep his or her bill low. Here are five mistakes every
shopper should avoid to save money at the grocery store.
1 Buying Name Brands
These days almost every name brand item has a generic substitute. In
most cases these generics have the same level of quality as the name
brand. Sometimes they are even made at the same facility, but with
different packaging! Make sure and go for the generic items unless you
have some reason not to do so.
2 Buying Too Many Perishable Items
It is easy to overestimate how much you will use before another trip to
the store. Be careful not to buy to much of any perishable items at the
store. For example, it can sometimes save you money to buy the
half-gallon of milk instead of the gallon if you will only use half a
gallon before it goes bad, even if the gallon is cheaper per ounce.
3 Going to the Store When Hungry
Everything looks good at the grocery store when you are hungry. If you
go to the store before eating you may find that you stuff your cart
with more than you need, and with several unhealthy items as well! Try
to go right after a meal to avoid impulse buys and to avoid getting
more than what you need.
4 Not Making a List/Not Sticking to the List
It can be easy to think that you know everything that you need before
going to the store and can figure it out when you get there. However,
if you don’t make a list, you will find that you might make a bunch of
impulse buys and come home with several things you don’t need. You will
probably also waste time by wandering around the store trying to
remember exactly what you need. Also, keep in mind that you need to
stick to that list when you get to the store!
5 Ignoring Sales and Coupons
If you do not pay attention to sales and coupons, you can miss out on
some serious deals. Make sure and check the local paper before you go
to the store and see what coupons you can find. Clip those and take
them with you. Also, see what stores are having sales. You may have to
visit 2 or 3 stores to get everything you need, but it can be worth the
effort. You can get many items you use free, when you have a coupon for
it.
Saving money at the grocery store can take some work. However, if you
avoid the mistakes listed above, you can get the same groceries you get
every month for much less!
---
...Great tips! Thanks Bunni!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Johanna :)
>Fiscal Cliff Simplified
)
) __ (
__ (~( __
(~( \O\ )~)
)O) )_) (O(
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/O/ )~) ) (~(
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_ (~( __(_( __ _-' `-_
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| // : | -' )_))^ \\ __(O( ___| ARGH! WE'RE |
| // : | --- >__;` (~( )_) `-. GETTING BURIED |
| // : | -._ /\_\ \O\ \ IN DEBT!!!! /
`-----._| __ /__( \| )_) `--___________--'
_/___\_ //)_`/( (| ||]
_____[_______]_[~~-_ (.L)O) ||
[____________________]' (_(,/(~(
||| / )~) ,___,'./\O\
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____ /O/_\_O/_/ `.' . \_\
/_O_/ /_/\_O_\ \O\ ,o,'
\_\ `.'
Ool
This puts things into a much better perspective.
Lesson # 1:
* U.S. Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
* Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000
* New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000
* National debt: $14,271,000,000,000
* Recent budget cuts: $ 38,500,000,000
Let's now remove 8 zeros and pretend it's a household budget:
* Annual family income: $21,700
* Money the family spent: $38,200
* New debt on the credit card: $16,500
* Outstanding balance on the credit card: $142,710
* Total budget cuts so far: $38.50
Got It ?
Lesson # 2:
Here's another way to look at the Debt Ceiling:
Let's say, You come home and find there has been
a sewer backup in your neighborhood....and your
home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.
What do you think you should do?
Raise the ceilings, or remove the crap?
---
...LOL! A great example! Thanks Johanna!
Here is the new stats...
The Outstanding Public Debt as of 31 Dec 2012 at 09:51:08 PM GMT is:
$ 1 6 , 3 4 7 , 9 0 1 , 2 2 8 , 3 5 3 . 6 1
The estimated population of the United States is 314,153,786
so each citizen's share of this debt is $52,037.89.
The National Debt has continued to increase an average of
$3.82 billion per day since September 28, 2007!
http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/
Oh Yes - Happy New Year!! - Thanks Obama!
=============================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From BizarreNews:
Happy Holidays, folks! I hope everyone is planning a fun
and safe New Year's Eve. Remember, friends don't let friends
drive drunk, click it or ticket, beer before liquor never
sicker, liquor before beer never fear, always split aces
and eights, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of
cure, when the going gets tough the tough get going, no
glove no love, and that's never going to heal if you don't
stop picking at it.
But seriously, folks, this is our last issue of the year,
and what a year it has been. We've covered a lot of issues
and had some spirited debates, but it has all been done
in a spirit of community, and that is what Bizarre News is
all about. That and having a good laugh at the expense of
others.
So enjoy the holiday, stay safe, and I will talk to you
all next year!
*-- Christmas is best day to bust cheaters --*
LONDON - A British divorce lawyer says Christmas Day is
the top day for "text message bustings" of unfaithful
spouses. Ayesha Vardag said she has noticed Christmas Day
has become the most popular day of the year for suspicious
spouses to conduct the "text message bustings" by finding
messages sent to or from an unfaithful significant other,
The Daily Telegraph reported Tuesday. "It is really very
sad," said Vardag, whose high-profile cases include
representing German heiress Katrin Radmacher in her $160.8
million divorce case. "There is a psychological sense of
Christmas being the barometer of how a family is doing.
But the other thing we find a lot is that there are a lot
of text message 'bustings' on Christmas Day, usually
because the husband leaves the phone around and the
mistress is sending messages. "We see that a lot ... it is
amazing how many times that is what catches people out,"
she said. "It has just become very obvious and transparent.
Husbands will go off and call the mistress and then the
wife will wonder where they were or who they were calling,
they will either find the number on there or the text
message. "I do wonder whether there is an element of
people wanting to get caught because it is an easier way
of dealing with it than saying that they want to leave,"
Vardag said.
*-- Group blasts playground yo-yo ban --*
LONDON - A British health and safety watchdog criticized
teachers for banning yo-yos on a playground, saying
safety concerns are based on myth. The Health and Safety
Executive, a non-governmental public agency, said teachers
at the school -- whose name was not reported -- went
"over the top" in banning children from paying with yo-yos
on the playground, The Sun reported Tuesday. The organiz-
ation's "mythbusters" panel, which criticizes organizations
for taking safety measures deemed to be based in myth, said
there is no real reason to ban the traditional toys. The
group questioned other recent restrictions, including the
case of a charity chop banning knitting needles to prevent
people from stabbing themselves and airlines ceasing to
sell boiled sweets in case passengers choke on them.
*-- Sexy fired worker blasts court ruling --*
FORT DODGE, Iowa - An Iowa woman fired for being "irresist-
ible" to her boss says a court decision against her was
unfair. Melissa Nelson told CNN, "The last couple of days
have just been an emotional roller coaster. I'm trying to
stay strong. It's tough. I don't think it's fair. I don't
think it's right." An Iowa Supreme Court judge said the
allegations do not amount to sex discrimination. Dentist
James Knight, whose business is in Fort Dodge, fired dental
assistant Nelson, an employee of 10 years, because she
presented too much of a distraction and jeopardized his
relationship with his wife, CNN reported Sunday. The
Supreme Court affirmed a lower court's ruling that the
employment termination did not amount to sex discrimination
under the state's civil rights act. Knight's wife discover-
ed in 2009 that Knight and Nelson were sending text
messages to each other and demanded her husband fire
Nelson, which he did in 2010, CNN reported. Knight told
Nelson near the end of her employment that her clothing
was "distracting," but Nelson said she wore scrubs at work,
CNN reported. The court's decision said Knight told Nelson
"if she saw his pants bulging, she would know her clothing
was too revealing," and that Knight said in reply to
Nelson's alleged comment about her infrequent sex life,
"That's like having a Lamborghini in the garage and never
driving it." In siding with Knight, Iowa Supreme Court
Justice Edward M. Mansfield wrote on behalf of the court,
"The issue before us is not whether a jury could find that
Dr. Knight treated Nelson badly. We are asked to decide
only if a genuine fact issue exists as to whether Dr.
Knight engaged in unlawful gender discrimination when he
fired Nelson at the request of his wife."
*-- Swedish town buys strip club --*
BARNARP, Sweden - Residents of Barnarp, Sweden, had been
trying for years to close a local strip club without
success, so they bought it, village officials said. The
Cafe Musfaalan -- Mousetrap Cafe -- had been a source of
noise, littering and harassment complaints since it opened,
The Local.se reported. The last straw was the decision
last month by the strip club's owners to change the name
to Heaven "where we knead the buns together." "It has
been a great inconvenience for residents in Barnarp,"
Commissioner Mats Green said. The community Friday ponied
up 3 million Swedish kronor ($470,000) to buy the property
so it could evict the tenants. No word on what the property
will be used for next.
=========================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
o
o /
\ /
\ /
\ /
+--------------v-------------+
| __________________ @ |
| / \ |
| | ,--, | (\) |
| | _ ___/ /\| | |
| | ,;`( )__, ) ~ | (-) |
| | // o// '--; | |
| \ ' o \ | / :|||: |
| -ooo-------------- :|||: |
+----------------------------+
[] []
unknown
Harry, a TV repairman, was called to fix a television set
that had neither sound nor picture. Left alone in the room,
Harry spotted the cause immediately: the set was unplugged.
Harry faced a dilemma: one part of him said he shouldn't
charge the woman; the other insisted he be paid for his time.
Finally, he presented her with a minimum-charge service bill,
which read: "Restored isolated connecting cable to primary
power source. $25."
-<>-
After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his
younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve
to ask his mother if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry
softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back."
-<>-
The shoe dealer was interviewing a potential salesman.
"Suppose," he said, "a lady customer were to remark while
you were trying to fit her, 'Don't you think one of my
feet is bigger than the other?' What would you say?"
"I would say, 'On the contrary, Ma'am, one is smaller
than the other.'"
"The job is yours."
-<>-
As a frequent flier, I get annoyed when other passengers
disregard the airline attendant's pleas to stay seated when
the plane taxies to the gate. One attendant captured my heart
by announcing:
"The captain will be parking the aircraft at Gate 41 in
approximately two minutes. I've seen the captain's car. So
if I were you, I'd remain seated."
-<>-
I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver
for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Air-
fare to Denver is $300," said a cheery salesperson.
"And what about Salt Lake City?"
"We have a really great rate to Salt Lake--$99.00, but there
is a stopover."
"Where?" I asked.
"Denver."
-<>-
@@ The Nativity @@ 11/96 *
* . .
. | . *
* . \|/ .
. -->*<-- .
/|\
. ' | ' *
| .
* . | .
'
_ _ .:.
. ( | .-. ___ .'_`. WWW \w/ \V/
|/(_)\ .'.-.`. `(_)' (_) (_) (_)
|// \\ `/(_)\' // \\ _/ | _/ | _/ |
_ _ \/| |/ //)_(\\ \| |/ %%__/| $$__/| &&__/|
_-(_)- _-(_)- | | | /(o___))\ | | | | | | | |
`(___) `(___) | | | ` / \' | | | | | | | |
jgs // \\ // \\ | |_| /_____\ |_| |_| |_| |_|
Driving through a small Southern town I saw a "Nativity Scene"
that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it.
One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing
firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I
decided to stop at a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town.
I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.
She responded in annoyance, "You Yankees never do read the
Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply recall anything
about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled
through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a
passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right
here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
-<>-
Two young women went into a furniture store and asked to be
directed to the sofa department. The salesman who greeted them
was a chauvinistic good ol' boy who knew that his chances of
making a sale were always much better when dealing with a
married couple. Still, he reluctantly began showing them the
sofas, settees and love seats.
"What we're really looking for is an upholstered footstool
that's long and wide," one woman admitted.
"Oh, I might have known," responded the salesman, "but I don't
think either of you are going to be able to find anything like
that. I've always felt a woman can't get a long width ottoman."
=========================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
--=---+---=--
\___
---=---+-I-=---
|\
---=----+----=---
|
^
unknown
1.. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2.. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
3.. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4.. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5.. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's
Not Unusual."
6.. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says
to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't
believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
7.. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were
nothing to look at either.
8.. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
9.. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I
couldn't find any.
10.. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them
to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he
said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
-<>-
>Useless Information that is Fascinating:
,``'.'
/ \ \ \
/ \ | |
''''''.| | |
`````'` | | |
/'''' - (| | |
/'``` . | | |
/ ''''' / ./
/ '```` / |/
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/ ' |` /
/ / /|
/| | / '.
|| | )
++ | \
| |
| |
\ ..
\ _/ \
' ./ |
/ \
| \
\ |
\ |
| . |
| | |
| | |
| | |
| .| |
/ / | /
/ / | |
/ / | |
/ / | |
==/ | |
| | ==/
| | / |
\ | Pru | |
V | |
V
Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled
"Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language.
-----------------
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred
and Wilma Flintstone.
-----------------
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury.
-----------------
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
-----------------
Coca-Cola was originally green.
-----------------
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
-----------------
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000
-----------------
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
-----------------
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
-----------------
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
-<>-
,---,_ ,
_> `'-. .--'/
.--'` ._ `/ <_
>,-' ._'.. ..__ . ' '-.
.-' .'` `'. '.
> / >`-. .-'< \ , '._\
/ ; '-._> <_.-' ; '._>
`> ,/ /___\ /___\ \_ /
`.-|(| \o_/ \o_/ |)|`
jgs \; \ ;/
\ .-, )-. /
/` .'-'. `\
;_.-`.___.'-.;
>YIDDISH PROVERBS and Einstein
The wise man, even when he holds his tongue,
says more than the fool when he speaks.
Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.
What you don't see with your eyes,
don't invent with your mouth.
One old friend is better than two new ones.
One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who
wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be
the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.
"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."
Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving
-Albert Einstein
When his wife asked him to change clothes to meet the German Ambassador:
"If they want to see me, here I am. If they want to see my clothes,
open my closet and show them my suits.
--Albert Einstein
-<>-
Q. Why do computers cause carpal tunnel syndrome but
typewriters don't?
A. The fact that typing seems easier than ever before has
actually contributed to the increase in carpal tunnel
syndrome. With computers, pages never end, so the hands
get no breaks. And typing on a computer keyboard takes
less effort than on a typewriter due to the electrical
rather than mechanical nature of the process. Also,
a computer is used for many more purposes than a type-
writer, so we use it longer, making health problems
even more likely.
-<>-
>Story Time
|\.-./|
/= =\
/= e e =\
>\=_ Y _=/<
(,,)^(,,)
|.:.:.:.|
| |
|, /( |
|)\ )/ |
|`-;o` |
| )\ |
; \/.'\
jgs / / |
.' \ /
.' ;-'
/'. .'`
| \ /
'./_.'
Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for
Christmas.
Now, her mother couldn't buy a kitten and parcel it up for Christmas
Day, so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the
little girl.
"You're getting your Christmas present a week early this year," her
mother explained and handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten. "Is
that what you want?"
The little girl, whose name was Kitty, said, "It's wonderful,
mother... Just what I wanted. There's just one thing wrong!"
"What's that?" her mother asked.
"Well, it has a cute little claw on the outside of every paw and a
cute little claw on the inside of every paw - but the poor little
thing has no claws at all in the middle of its paws!"
Her mother smiled. "Don't worry, Kitty... When you wake up on
Christmas morning you'll find the claws are there."
Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worried about the claws in
the middle of its paws.
The days passed and there wasn't even a hint, a clue or an inkling of
claws in the middle of its paws!
When Christmas Eve arrived and there was still no sign, Kitty went to
her mother and asked again, "Are you absolutely sure that the kitten
will have its middle claws tomorrow? There's only a few hours to go
and there's not a hint or clue or an inkling as to claws as far as I
can see!"
"Wait till you wake up on Christmas morning," her mother smiled and
went on stuffing the turkey.
So Kitty went to sleep a worried girl.
And when she woke up on Christmas morning she ignored the presents in
her stocking and rushed downstairs to look at her little kitten.
She was astounded, amazed and just a little surprised to see that her
kitten had four claws on every paw! The middle ones had appeared as
if by magic.
Kitty rushed to her parent's bedroom. "Mummy, Mummy! The kitten has
grown its middle claws!"
"Of course it has," her mother grinned.
"But how did you know?" Kitty demanded.
Her father rolled over sleepily and sighed,"Oh, Kitty, everybody
knows that ... Center claws always comes at Christmas!"
=============================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Jesus Clinic!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/clinic.html
Drink Responsibly!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/drink.html
Best Bed Positions!
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Medical Health Test!
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TSA's Calendar Gals!
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Journey Through Life!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/journey.html
Playboy Bunny Calendar!
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Advice For The New Year!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newyear.html
Advice For Living!
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Best Friends!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html
Friends!
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Friends And Health!
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Friendship!
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Would You Care?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/care.html
Old Barns, Old People, Old Friends
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/barns.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Bunni :)
Guaranteed to bring smiles and chuckles. Cute ending.
This should help get you in the Christmas spirit!!!
Be sure to watch the choir behind them.
Those of you who, like me, LOVE southern gospel music will
enjoy this – and appreciate the ‘rehearsed’ body language
and gestures of this . . . amen . . . “men’s” quartet.
Great lip-syncing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzXJ3vuCzCc
---
...TeeHee! Thanks Bunni!
This sure brings back old memories...hope you all enjoy these clips
FABULOUS! YOU MUST WATCH THIS SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY.
If you're under 40 you won't understand this and if you're over 60
you'll love it!
Thanks For The Memories
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=JEfotdZCguk&pop_ads=null
---
...LOL! Fun Memories! Aww, well, I knew most of these! Thanks Bunni!
=========================================================
.
. : .
'.@.'
/^\
/ \
/2013 \
@@@@@@@@@
/ 6 6 \
( ^ ,)
\ __, /-._
`._____.'\ `--.__
\\/ `/``"""'-.
/ ) / :
| /\ | .--. :
/ /\2`\ \/ `.__.:.____.-.
/ / /`\0`\`/ .-"..____.-. \
jgs _.-' /_/ `\1`\ \-. \
`=----' `\3`\--------'""`-. \ `"
`-./ `"
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right,
tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good,
lucky feeling." --Jack Handey
"'I have done that,' says my memory. 'I cannot have done
that' - says my pride, and remains adamant. At last - memory
yields." --Friedrich Nietzsche
"My vision is to make the most diverse state on earth, and
we have people from every planet on the earth in this state.
We have the sons and daughters of every, of people from
every planet, of every country on earth."
—-Former California Gov. Gray Davis, during the recall
campaign.
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on
the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow THIS out.'"
--Jerry Seinfeld
"A graduate student in Michigan announced that after eight
years of searching, his computer has discovered the longest
prime number in history. Not surprisingly, the student has
yet to discover a girl's phone number." --Conan O'Brien
Students at school were asked to write about the harmful ef-
fects of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom
opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and
all the sardines were dead."
On a high school science quiz, there was the question, "When
water becomes ice which of its physical properties increases?"
Everyone answered, "Its volume.." Except one wise guy who
wrote, "When water becomes ice, its price increases."
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how
close they were to success when they gave up.
-- Thomas Alva Edison
There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never
did, and those who did and never thought. -- Laurence J. Peter
I couldn't wait for success... so I went ahead without it.
-- Jonathan Winters
Too many people miss the silver lining because they're
expecting gold. -- Maurice Setter
.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.
__, ,__) __, ,__) __, ,__)
(--|__| _ ,_ ,_ (--|\ | _ (--\ | _ _ ,_
_| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| \|(/_(_|_) \|(/_(_||
( | | ,_| ( (__|
.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:.
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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