Happy New Year SMILES... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ __, ,__) __, ,__) __, ,__) (--|__| _ ,_ ,_ (--|\ | _ (--\ | _ _ ,_ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| \|(/_(_|_) \|(/_(_|| ( | | ,_| ( (__| *~* May You Have A Blessed, Safe and Happy New Year's Celebration! * Our New Year's Links... ^ _...._ ^ .' '. _...._ ^ / \' '. |X / \ -. \ |X | ^ .-. |'.-. .' \ / \;/ `/\` '. .' / \ ( `/\` / \ \ ^ `) ^ / \ ) ( ^ /'-...-'\ ( \ /-.__ __.-\ ) jgs '._ ` _.' ^ / `"""""` Scroll Down Once There For The New Year's Links: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This flaming hot new page is from our friend Linda. We often think of icebergs as being big, white mounds of ice in the arctic waters, but this shows just how colorful and beautiful they can be. Check this and the stunning video out here: ________ W = '\ `._ \ \` \ ) \ / , ) | / _| /' / | | / / / / / |' ( | | | | | |\ ( ( (/ /) ' \" " " / _ \ \ ( ,-' _\_) ') _.,-'-/ b'ger . ... ",",,,,,,,'.'_ _.,-' .. . '-,-/_ /_ Amazing Striped Icebergs http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/icebergs.html --- ...Quite awesome! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: Convinced that polar bears didn't really exist they went out shopping... | : : : : | : : : | : | : : | | | : | _,-'^\ | : | : | : | _,-' ,\ ) : | : | : | ,-' ,' ~' : ,,. | : | ,-' ,' | `\ / : __ ,-' ,' : / / _,-' `, ,' / <,-' ' ,' | ( _,__,_ ,' | : : '-,_ _,-" "-,_: | : | : ,>' (\/) \ : | : ,-' ,-'`; }`"\ \ : ,-' ,-'` [ a a| \ } ,/ ('` ~\ / | | "~` (_o) | \ ,/ ( "~` * * _|_ .-' * '-. * / * \ * ^^^^^|^^^^^ .~. | .~. / ^ \| / ^ \ (| |J/| |) '\ /`"\ /` -- '' -'-' ^`^ ^`^ -- '' -'-' mic A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay. She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five years salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they paid the full premiums." "I can't help but ask madam why you would leave a job with such benefits," the interviewer replied. The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went bankrupt." -<>- Not-so-elderly lady: Well, Doctor, I guess I've reached that awkward age. Doctor: What do you mean? Lady: Too young for Medicare, and too old for men to care! -<>- 0=========================================================0 |'. FairyMarys .'| | '. _______________________________________________ .' | | | /\ /\.-. . .| | | | '. ________| ` `.' .`. | /______________ .' | | | | | \ `/ >>-' -`* - | | | | | | / ,\ ' / | \ ____ | | | | | | `-'`.:`. | | | | | | | | > ,`. | | | | | | | | /-. /.' `. |____| | | | | | | / _> `- : |\_/| | | | | | | /` / /-. |q p| /£ | | | | | ,| / ((___/ __> ( 0 )"""\ __ | | | | | \/` / } |"^"` | ;`'()__)| | | | | |\ /'\ .--.( || /=\\ | `\:'.`,\| | | | | .' -\\--\\-- \\--------"'" -'"""'---//--"//'. | | | |' DS & jgs '| | | .'------------------------------------------------ '. | |.' PetShop '.| 0=========================================================0 >New Year Resolutions For Pets 15. I will not eat the cats poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. 13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener. 10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a competition in major animal shows. 9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars. 8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds. 7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me! 6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year. 5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much. 4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post. 3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. 2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. 1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it leave the human's hand. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 31 is Make Up Your Mind Day, New Year's Eve and Unlucky Day January 1 is Polar Bear Plunge Day, National Hangover Day and New Year's Day January 2 is Buffet Day, Run It up the Flagpole and See If Anyone Salutes It Day and Science Fiction Day January 3 is Fruitcake Toss Day and Festival of Sleep Day January 4 is Trivia Day and National Spaghetti Day January 5 is Bird Day January 6 is Bean Day, Cuddle Up Day and Feast of the Epiphany - Three Kings ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: __ ( ( ) ) _ / / ___ /:;-/_ ( ( \ ___ __/::::;;;-. ) ) \ / _ \/ _\`".:::::/\/ / ) ) (_( \/ / \__ `";/ /\/ ( ( (_(_) /`_>-~-\/ /\ \_\ \/)'O_O`\/ / /-.(_),-\/ ( .:_|_:. ) /`--'U,-.'\_ ,'\,-. (_,,),:| ___ ,'__(,,_)___,:::| / _ \ |||||||||||||:::| / / \ \|||||||||||||:::| __ ( ( \ |||||||||||||:::| ( (\ )_) \|||||||||||||::;'__) )\ hjw |||||||||||||;'_____/\/ """"( ("""""" ) ) (_( >Puppy Love My puppy chewed the tongue on one of my new, expensive running shoes. I hoped to save my investment, so I took them to a shoe repair shop. I placed the shoes on the counter and told the man, "My dog got hold of this." The repairman picked up the shoe, looked it over, and placed it back down on the counter. "Well, what do you recommend?" I asked. He looked at me and replied, "Give your dog the other shoe." -<>- >Physics Class A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps certain people out of medical school." -<>- >Diagnosis The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?" -<>- Note: Before we begin, let me get up on my soapbox and say that I believe that this country (USA) has gotten way too politically correct. You can't say anything now-a-days without someone taking umbrage at your words. If you want to wish me Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or Good Kwanzaa or Happy Holidays or whatever, I will NOT take offense. I am just happy that you thought enough to wish me well. OK, getting off the soapbox now. -Tom That being said, let me offer this little bit of lampoon (sarcasm): >Politically Correct Holiday Greetings .-'`"'-. _.---. .' \ .' '. / \ / \ | __ Y __ | | .'` '-./ .-' `'. | \ / ',,' \ /-. \| .-"()"-. |/--.`\ | /` /||\ `\ | \ \ \ | | / ; ; '--`\ /`--' | | -=[ pansies/violets ]=- '-.__.-' ; ; __ / / .-'''-` '. .-. _ /`/` (_ .--..._ `-' \_| \ /`/` '.__. `---._ |/`/` `) _.. '-./`/` (__.-' _) /`/` jgs `--`/` To all my Liberal Friends: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all; PLUS A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or choice of computer platform. (Disclaimer: By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.) _ .--,-"" ""-. ( ) j- __. | | ' -'| |`--._____,+-. .';`--.___.' `. .' / _ | / ,-' _.-'o;__\ ( .' o.-' \)`. `j--..___.' ' / ) (/ _ `-._ `-/`--' ,----. (.' `--. `. `-._.'`._,--->New Years SMILES: A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. My new year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey. New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper. My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions. If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang! I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year! If 2018 was a person, I'd sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages. This New Year's I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess. I'll remember 2018 like it was yesterday Dear Luck, .....can we be friends in 2019 Please? It's officially New Year Eve, you only have a couple of hours to do all the things you will resolve not to do in the new year. Tonight the Mayor is dropping the ball in New York while Congress is dropping the ball in Washington. .~~~~. |2019| _|____|_ }-{ A P P Y (_,/\ \ \,~,/(`^ ^( ) /\/ E W \_/ ) \-' ) ( |\| (.-' '--.) \./ \( /(_)-(_) \ | E A R \\/ /\ /`\ \ \_/ / . \ // /'---'\`/_ _/ ^ ^ ;--; .--`| ^ ^ /` `), /` . \ ^ /` ) . '). ~^~`/ ( \^ / ( ' \^-~`-~ - ^ ~^- . )/ . ) '-.;~^-~^~- ~^~- / `\ - . ~^~ ,-.`~~^~^~^ ~- `^_~-~^-| \^ \~_~^ -~^~- ~^`~^ ^~ ~_jgs .-./__/\__`\-. ~^_-~^- ~^- ^~ `-^~=~-`=~-~=-' ~ Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year! Q: What happened to the Irish man who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? A: He gave up thinking. Q: What's the problem with jogging on New Years Eve? A: The ice falls out of your drinks! Q: What do you call always wanting a date for New Year's Eve? A: Social Security New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out. Q: Where can you find comedians on New Years Eve? A: Waiting for the punchline. Q: What do you cows celebrate on December 31st? A: Moo Years Eve. _ |\_,,____ ( o__o \/ /(..) \ (_ )--( _) 2019 = Year Of The Pig / ""--"" \ ,===,=| |-,,,,-| |==,== |d | WW | WW | |s | | | | | Q: What do farmers give their wives at Midnight on New Years Eve? A: Hogs and kisses! Knock Knock! Whos there? Mary and Abby! Mary and Abby who? Mary Christmas and a Abby new year. ,. (_|,. ,' /, )_______ _ __j o``-' `.'-)' HAPPY (") \' NEW `-j | YEAR! `-._( / hjw |_\ |--^. / /_]'|_| /_)_/ /_]' /_]' For More: http://www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/newyearsjokes.html ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) _____ ____ `----,\ ) `--==\\ / `--==\\/ .-~~~~-.Y|\\_ @_/ / 66\_ | \ \ _(") \ /-| ||'--' jgs \_\ \_\\ >SMILES A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger." -------- As an elderly lady was boarding the plane, she said to the flight attendant, "Do these things crash very often?" The attendant replied, "No, just once! -------- A blonde went to a flight school, insisting that she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot a helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start the helicopter, gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she had climbed to 1,000 feet, the blonde radioed in, "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." At 2,000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb to over 3,000 feet and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about a half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I started to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan." -------- A blonde is driving around in her red sports car and suddenly gets pulled over by the police. The policeman approaches the car holding the ticket and pen ready and says: "Young lady, you've been driving almost double the speed limit. Give me your name please." "Hmmph!" - says the blonde looking very irritated "And what am I going to be called then?" ------- .======================================. | ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ | | \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| | | _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| | '===================================== ,sSSSs DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "( .:. SSS@ =/ \~/ C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_ ___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.- [____________________________________] \ /\// | ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/ | (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ; | | | | | | | | | | |____| | | | | | | | | | | \ |\ | | | | | | | | | | ) ) ) | |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/ | I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ | jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\ Y\_\ >Rick and Ron in a bar... One says "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead!" " Wooo, what the hell happened to him?" "Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the pavement and the car flips up and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window." "What a horrible way to die!" "No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones." "What a way to go, that's terrible!" "No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him." "Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!" "No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the cooker, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him." "Man, what a way to go!" "No no, he survived that, he survived that ! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him." "Now that is one awful way to go!" "No no, he survived that, he ..." "Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?" "I shot him!" "You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?" "He was wrecking my freaking house." --- ...Oh Gee! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! This Leads Us into Our Next SMILES... ========================================================= _ /) mo / ) |/)\) /\_ \__|= ( ) __)(__ _____/ \\_____ | || | _ ___ _ || | | \ | | \ || | | | | | | || | |_/ | |_/ || | | \ | | || | | \ | | || | | \. _|_. | . || | || * | * ** * ** |** ** \))ejm96/.,(//,,..,,\||(,,.,\\,.((// >-->The Latest 2018 Darwin Awards (Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular way possible.) >Good Guy With a Gun Defends Our Species (27 Nov 2018, Arizona) The Buckeye Police Department reports that a man accidentally shot his own sausage while shopping in the meat aisle at Walmart. Arizona law does not require a permit (nor a holster for that matter) to carry a firearm, so our hero felt free to carry his piece "commando-style" (unholstered) beneath his waistband. When the unholstered gun drifted down into his jeans, he reached in and pulled the trigger while repositioning his weapon. This loose cannon's low hanging fruit didn’t have a chance. Firearm supporters can add this event to the arsenal of ammunition against gun control. Guns really do make a difference. Darwin Award? Odds are, our gun nut (pun intended) shredded his ability to breed and wins the uncommon Living Darwin Award: still alive but unable to reproduce. Otherwise, his reward is an Honorable Mention -- "better luck next time." We await further information. -<>- >The Missionary Position (14 November 2018, Andaman Islands, India) John Allen Chau, a self proclaimed world explorer inspired by Livingston and Jesus, was killed by the very tribe of natives he was offering eternal life. According to the BBC in Delhi, Chau bribed six fishermen to ferry him to the off- limits island so he could offer the Sentinelese tribe gifts of scissors, a soccer ball, and Jesus. In a letter he wrote to his family, this Vancouver resident and Alabama native said he wanted to make contact with the 60,000 year old tribe because "The eternal [life] of this [Sentinelese] tribe is at hand." He paddled to the island in a kayak and was immediately "attacked by arrows but continued walking," stated the global news agency AFP. The fishermen then witnessed the natives "tying a rope around his neck and dragging his body" along the shore. They were clearly rejecting his gifts. The tribe, the most isolated on earth, has taken a well documented, zero tolerance approach to visitors since a British occupation almost wiped them out during the 1800's. It's no surprise Chau's remains remain unrecovered. Was he a martyr as friends claim on Instagram? a missionary according to his parents? or just a selfish selfie seeker? or a genocidal maniac bringing the tribe life threatening disease, as his bible quote from Revelations 7 indicates? He said he wanted to "see them around the throne of God worshiping in their own language as Revelation 7:9-10 states." We'll never truly know the answer, since the tribe doesn't seem to have updated their social media accounts in quite some time. -<>- >Booze Cruise Loser (8 September 2018, Massachusetts) An evening Booze Cruise in Boston Harbor led to the death of a 21-year-old man who was performing handstands on the railing of the ferry. Ordered to "stand down" from the rail by crew, acrobatic Aaron Dibella sneaked back up as soon as the crew turned their backs. He was performing a maneuver described as "a type of vertical pushup" when his hands faltered and he toppled overboard into the Boston Harbor. Perhaps he could not swim? The crew snapped into action, focused a spotlight on Aaron, tossed him a life preserver, leapt into the harbor and swam to within five feet of the booze-cruiser... but sadly he sank before they could snag him. Coast Guard spokesperson Nicole Groll said, "We launched all our assets" upon receiving the report of a person overboard, but to little avail. His body was found by divers three hours later. Young men feel immortal. They show off their physical prowess with rousing confidence. Unfortunately their human mortality is all too real. May this be a caution to others to reign in the confidence that leads to catastrioge. -<>- >Bag-atelle (22 July 2018, New South Wales AU) The ban on shopping bags has taken a terrible toll. A 58-year-old woman was run over by her Mazda CX7 after she pulled over to check whether the grocery bags were in the trunk. The car, evidently not secured by the parking brake, ambled backwards along Ambleside Drive in Castle Hill and killed the wee woman. A little mistake, a mere bagatelle, caused such a tragedy! News reports failed to reveal whether shopping bags were, in fact, inside the vehicle. For More: https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2018-01.html ========================================================= __________________________________________/ ------------------------------------------| | | |~~~~~~~~~~| | | | | *| *|Bless this|* |* | | |_____|_____| ~Home~ |______|______|____| _________ | _______ | | `| ((()) || || | |] ))- -(( ||_______|| |__________| ((\o/)) |_________| | | /\\_//\ |_==___==_| | |]__.-- //(_ _)\\ ____|_________| | |------ \\\ /// ----|oo o oo| | | | (// \\) *__|| _______ | | | | * /_____\ _*__||| || | | |_____| | | | __*__|||_______|| | |________ | | | __ ___|_________| |__________| |_|_| (_) (_) >-->From HandyHints: Dish Soap + Baking Soda The next time your elbow grease isn't enough to scrub off baked-on food, sprinkle baking soda on top of your dish detergent to pump up your cleaner and add more friction to your scrubbing situation. Dish Soap + Vinegar Add three drops of dish soap to a bowl of vinegar to attract those annoying flies in your home that are impossible to get rid of. The detergent will cut surface tension, so the flies will sink and drown. Just toss the cup once your home is fruit fly-free. Lift the worst carpet stains... It's dish liquid to the rescue. Dissolve one tablespoon of dish liquid into two cups of warm water, and blot the stain with a clean white cloth dipped into the solution. Repeat until the stain absorbs into the cloth and disappears from the carpet. Then sponge with plain cold water, and blot dry with a clean cloth. Make a stove simmer My crafty and cleaning obsessed mother taught me this great hint that I'd like to share. Simmer water in a small saucepan and add orange, lemon, or lime slices with some herbs like mint or lavender. The heat permeates the sweet scent throughout the house. It is an easy trick that is handy before parties or just because it's Saturday and you are cleaning. Get creative with your scents as well...here are some other things you can add to simmering water: Cinnamon sticks, Fresh ginger, Pine sprigs, Whole cloves, Chai tea bags, Vanilla or Almond extract Don’t overlook these essentials-they'll come in handy in unexpected ways. You'll see big discounts on everything from ornaments to household decor but also artificial trees, which can be quite expensive in prime time. The other must-stock: baking supplies. Think icing, holiday cookie cutters, sprinkles, etc. Red icing and red crystal sugar sprinkles might scream 'holiday' in December, but they can also scream 'Valentine’s Day' in February or 'Independence Day' in July. Candy, food and beverages also get marked down quickly because leftover themed packages appear outdated, but in reality, they still have a long shelf life left. Hats, scarves, portable heated car seats...this is the time to buy when prices are slashed. Just in time to keep those New Year’s resolutions, you'll find major price dives on fitness equipment like treadmills, weight sets, elliptical machines. Look for the hottest sales closer to February, as retailers stock up in late December and early January to take advantage of the New Year’s–resolution push. Once models don’t sell, they’ll be pushed to clearance and sale aisles. ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Just for fun - Daily Caller's Twelve Days of Christmas "On the first day of Christmas my country gave to me... a President who works for free!" Enjoy the MAGA version of Twelve Days of Christmas and together we can Make Christmas Great Again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpUzD2GNr6Q Trump Reaches Out https://1600daily.com/2018/12/29/trump-reaches-out/ Justice With Judge Jeanine 12/29/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYCuE2Q7T0Y Sean Hannity With Facts on Our Border Crisis 12/26/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbJ8dBLVrIU A list of President Trump's Accomplishments in less than 2 years (Compiled by The Washington Examiner) https://tinyurl.com/y9rbhwhg WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Today's Best Conservative Humor! https://theusawire.com/2018/03/8092-todays-best-conservative-humor/ RECALLS: Chicken, Pork Sausages, Trucks http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Health Alert: CDC Issues Alert for Polio-like Illness https://tinyurl.com/yapm4ely -<>- >From BizarreNews: A Maine man is accused of being a real-life Goldilocks: making himself at home after stealing two cars and getting a ride home by an unsuspecting residence. Authorities in York County say Derek Tarbox, 35, stole two cars before breaking into a residence in Waterboro on Sunday. One car ran out of gas in Hollis and then he allegedly stole another car and drove to Waterboro, where he crashed that one, York County deputies said. Without a ride, he went into someone's house. "It appeared that Tarbox had eaten some food, taken a shower and dressed himself in the caller's clothing he found in the residence," York County Sheriff William L. King, Jr. said. "The intruder told the caller that he had made a mistake and thought the house belonged to a friend who had left the front door opened for him." The owner agreed reluctantly to drive him to his home. "The caller thought the scenario was unusual, but plausible, so he agreed to drive the man to a house in Hollis," King said. "When he returned home and inspected his house further to found his back door had been forced open, food missing from his refrigerator and other signs of the house being ransacked." York County sheriff's deputies and the Maine State Police found Tarbox at his home. "When deputies and troopers went to that location, Tarbox fled and was quickly apprehended without incident," said King, adding Tarbox was still wearing the tenant's clothing. Tarbox has been charged with burglary, two counts of unauthorized use of property, leaving the scene of a property damage accident, failure to report a crash by quickest means, theft by deception and theft by unauthorized taking. -<>- They may not be the most law-abiding in Colorado, but at least they have the Christmas spirit. When a suspect wearing a "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" mask was caught on camera stealing several items from a Fort Collins business, the Fort Collins police were not about to be outdone in Christmas spirit. They began looking for the Rudolph imposter they dubbed "Burglarudolph". They shared the security camera footage on Facebook, asking for help identifying the suspect, who about halfway through the video removes her disguise. Police also shared a rewritten version of the song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" to help in the search efforts: "Rudolph the Red Nosed Burglar Had a very shady scheme And if you saw the video It would want to make you scream. All of the other burglars Used to steal without disguise They weren't like this Rudolph She's different from the other guys. On one foggy December eve Rudolph came to steal. Broke into a Hickory shop, Never expected to see a cop. Oh how the camera caught her As she committed burglary Rudolph the Red Nosed Criminal We need your help with her I.D." --- #3,,_,,E# '} " {' '.@.' ---.-' '-.-fsc----------- ...I found a video of this for you here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIJKeYD2Cps *--- 600 Surfing Santas Ride Waves in Florida ---* Nearly 600 people dressed in Santa suits and other festive apparel took to the waves in Florida for an annual Christmas surfing event, organizers said. The Surfing Santas in Cocoa Beach event, which took place on Christmas Eve, featured nearly 600 people in Santa Claus suits and other Christmas- related costumes riding the Atlantic Ocean waves on long boards, short boards, boogie boards and paddle boards. George Trosset, who founded the Surfing Santas event a decade ago, estimated there were about 10,000 spectators enjoying the spectacle and Christmas music. The event raised money for the Florida Surf Museum and Grind for Life, a cancer support organization. Cocoa Beach Mayor Ben Malik was among those in attendance. "It's an awesome way to start the Christmas holiday," Malik told Florida Today. *--- Trappers Capture 'Monster' Gator in Florida ---* A pair of trappers captured a behemoth 12-foot alligator discovered by divers working on a project at a private property in Florida. Jim Cutway, a licensed alligator trapper and owner of Myakka's Gold Apiary, said he and another Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission responded to the property in Parrish after divers encountered the 500-pound beast under water. "The divers had less than 5 feet of visibility, and they knew he was there," Cutway told local news. "The gator was very close them. He was bothering them." Cutway said they used calls to lure the gator to the surface and it took about two more hours to capture the animal alive. The trapper said the alligator was taken to a gator farm in eastern Florida. *--- Be Careful Where You Steal From ---* Authorities say two men were surrounded by customers with guns while attempting to steal tools from a Washington store. The men allegedly took four nail guns from the Coastal Farm & Ranch store in Marysville and when they got into a car they were surrounded by about six customers with guns raised. The men, ages 22 and 23, allegedly took four nail guns, each worth more than $400. The men walked out of the store and got into a Honda Civic, only to be surrounded by about six customers with guns raised. Court documents say the driver pulled forward, causing one man confronting him to land on the hood. Documents say another customer shot at the driver's side front tire, while a third fired twice at the rear tire. Marysville police found the theft suspects' car unoccupied about three blocks away, with two flat tires and the tools inside. Both men were apprehended after a search. *--- World's Largest Christmas Ornament ---* A mall in the United Arab Emirates was awarded a Guinness World Record for a Christmas bauble ornament with a 15-foot, 4-inch diameter. Guinness announced the ornament at the Dubai Mall, which also holds the record for world's largest shopping center, was declared the largest Christmas bauble ornament after being measured by official adjudicators. The 2,425-pound bauble, located in the mall's Star Atrium, was designed by U.S. firm Venus Arts and took two days to be assembled. "The Guinness World Records title for the world's largest festive bauble ornament at The Dubai Mall highlights our commitment to creating fun, compelling and memorable experiences for our visitors," said Rebecca Jobo, head of the Dubai Mall. "This imposing creation has been astounding visitors with its sheer size, creating a must-see Instagram moment for everyone to enjoy." --- ...See this here: https://tinyurl.com/yb2my44l ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Cloie :) \\ ///// | | (| _ _ |) |` | '| | __ | >>>___/\_^__/\___<<< / ||| \ Mike Hertz Thursday, November 1, 2018 — Former US Navy SEAL, Ephraim Mattos, has responded to comments made by Don Lemon on CNN's Cuomo Prime Time. "We have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest terror threat in this country is white men, most of them radicalized to the right, and we have to start doing something about them." — Don Lemon on CNN (October 29, 2018) Here is Mattos' response: After surviving three wars, a gunshot wound, a near fatal drowning, a failed parachute, Taliban ambushes, ISIS snipers, mortars, mine-fields, suicide bombers and laying down my life for the cause of freedom while fighting shoulder-to-shoulder with my brother Arabs, Asians, Blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Animists, and Atheists, I have now returned home to the USA where a CNN host has labeled me as a radicalized right wing terrorist simply because of my gender and the color of my skin. I represent just one of the hundreds of thousands of conservative white men who have fought to preserve freedom in this great Nation and in other nations. My forefathers are the 3% who founded this Republic against the might of the British Army. It was white Conservative men who died by the tens of thousands after charging into our southern states to free our black brothers from the slavery imposed on them by the Liberal left. We were the ones who acknowledged that women have a right to vote. We held the line in WWI and charged the beaches of Normandy in WWII. We have fought for freedom and liberty for generations and we continue to do so today alongside all of our brothers and sisters regardless of their race or religion. In the early 1930s, Hitler said the same thing about the Jews that Don Lemon of CNN just said about white men. This is the true face of the Democratic Party. First they enslaved and killed blacks, and now they use them to spew hatred and lies against the very people who have fought for generations to free them and uplift them. Remember that when you vote. One final thought: To make a point, I have referred to myself as a "white male" in the previous sentences multiple times, but I must make it clear that I identify as simply "American," not as "white" or "male" or "Republican." Although blatantly racist and hateful, do not let Don Lemon's ignorant words drive you into viewing yourself only by your race and religion. Identity politics does not lead to freedom. It only leads to hatred and division and an "us vs. them" mentality. If CNN does not fire Don Lemon, it only goes to show that they are truly the "enemy of the people." — Ephraim Mattos, Former US Navy SEAL --- ...Wow! Most Inspiring! Thanks Cloie! An update here: https://tinyurl.com/y7uz5fsq .-"""""""-. .' __ \_ / / \/ \ | \_0/\_0/______ |:. .' oo`\ |:. / \ |' ; | | |:.. . \_______ | |::.|' , \,_____\ / |:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;() |::; | | ; ; | | # # # #:::::: /::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #:::::: /'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #:::::: jgs / \ # # # #:::::: # # # # # # # G O D B L E S S # # # # # # # # # # # # # # A M E R I C A ! # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # I find it ridiculous and almost laughable that the left keeps blaming white men for everything and acts as if 'white men' and 'old white men' are somehow a 'dirty disgrace' here in America. They forget that the majority here in America is currently considered white. So if they are against white men, chances are they're offending the majority of people who are either white men, married to white men, or have white men as their granddads, dads, brothers, relatives or friends. White men and women are the base of America. If you are against the foundations of America, then please do us lovers of this great land a favor and get the H out! Oh, and don't let the door hit you on the way out! https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/US# ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: ___ _[___]_ _ ( " ) [_] '--(`~:~`)--|' / `-:-' \ | _..--\ : /--. ' jgs'-----' '- Here are the ten dumbest, goofiest, most ridiculous things I overheard during my many holiday shopping trips. (In No Particular Order) 1. My cart is full of crap! 2. Is this cheese real? 3. I found croutons in a forest this one time. 4. My Uncle Ralph knows that Chef Boyardee guy. 5. I hate "drunk" shopping. 6. Do you think they have that special shampoo? 7. King Size candy bars are just too much for me. 8. Fresh is always better than rotten. 9. We're not fancy enough for 2-ply. 10. Don't you wish they made a crunchier yogurt? Maybe I need to find a new place to do my shopping next year? But I don't think that it would really do any good. Groaningly yours, Steve -<>- >I'm A Dog A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you have to help. I think I'm a dog." The doctor says, "How long have you had this feeling?" The man responds, "Ever since I was a puppy." -<>- >Let's Face It... Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned." -<>- >I Can't Remember Anything! Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything! Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem? Patient: What problem? -<>- >Getting A Deal On A Flight In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out." -<>- o . . o o_.__' \~~~~~/ '-.-' | jgs _|_ `"""` >Q and A Quickies Q: Why did the bacon laugh? A: Because the egg cracked a yolk! Q: What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A: A private tutor. Q: Why should bowling alleys be quiet? A: So you can hear a pin drop! Q: Why did the child study in the airplane? A: He wanted a higher education. Q: How did the farmer fix his jeans? A: With a cabbage patch. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: | \ ' / -- (*) -- >*< >0<@< >>>@<<* >@>*<0<<< >*>>@<<<@<< >@>>0<<<*<<@< >*>>0<<@<<<@<<< >@>>*<<@<>*<<0<*< \*/ >0>>*<<@<>0><<*<@<< ___\\U//___ >*>>@><0<<*>>@><*<0<< |\\ | | \\| >@>>0<*<0>>@<<0<<<*<@<< | \\| | _(UU)_ >((*))_>0><*<0><@<<<0<*< |\ \| || / //||.*.*.*.|>>@<<*<<@>><0<<< jgs |\\_|_|&&_// ||*.*.*.*|_\\db//_ """"|'.'.'.|~~|.*.*.*| ____|_ |'.'.'.| ^^^^^^|____|>>>>>>| ~~~~~~~~ '""""`------' I got an interesting Christmas haul this year. No scotch. I think this was the first year in about a decade nobody bought me any scotch. But I did get some underwear. I was needing that. I also got a case of toilet paper, and I mean a case, like the case that gets delivered to the supermarket to stock their shelves with. I must have a reputation. My mother-in-law bought me some instant lottery tickets, because in addition to drinking, gambling is among my other qualities. I got a gift certificate to a cooking class. There is a skill that can always use some brushing up on. And ol' Mason got me something called Echo. It's kind of like a talking computer, but from what I understand you can't do any normal 'computer' stuff on it. For example; it doesn't have a screen, so you can't play games or watch videos or create spreadsheets or text documents or save pictures. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure what it's for. But it's nice and heavy. I guess it would make a good door stop. And finally the wife got me a smoking jacket. I mean, like a real, velvet smoking jacket with the padded, embroidered collar and silk lining. Just like something Cary Grant, or maybe Groucho Marx would wear while smoking a Turkish cigarette in a cigarette holder. Christmas afternoon we were heading out the door to visit the wife's parents for dinner, and since my father-in-law is an inveterate smoker I figured I would bring my new jacket along to show it off. The wife stopped me short. "You're bringing your new jacket?" "Sure," I said. "Why not?" "Because," she argued, "it's gonna end up smelling like smoke!" Laugh it up, Joe -<>- == , == <^\()/^> _/^\_ <^\()/^> \/ \/ < > \/ \/ * /__\ /.-.\ * /__\ == /\ * `/&\` /\ * == <^\()/^> !_\/ ,@.*;@, \/_! <^\()/^> \/ \/ !_/I_|| /_o.I% _\ * ||_I\_! \/ \/ /__\ /I_/|*|| (`'--:o(_@; || |\_I\ /__\ /_ \ !//| | || /`;--.,__ `') || | |\\! /_ \ (- ) /I/ | | || ;@`o% O,*`'`&\ || | | \I\ (= ) \__/!//| | | ||* (`'--)_@ ;o %'()\ ||*| | |\\!\__/ / \I/ | | | || /`;--._`''--._O'@; || | | | \I/ \ {_ __} | | | || /&*,()~o`;-.,_ `""`) || | | | {____} _!__|= || | *| | || /`,@ ;+& () o*`;-';\ || | | | || |__!_ _I__| ||__|__|__|_|| (`""--.,_0 +% @' &()\ ||_|__|__|__||- |__I_ -|--|- ||--|--|--|-|| /-.,_ ``''--....-'`) *||-|--|--|--||= |--|- | | || | | |*|| /@% ;o:;'--,.__ __.'\ || | | | || | | | |= || | | | || ;*,&(); @ % &^;~`"`o;@(); || | | | *||= | | | |- || | | | || /(); o^~; & ().o@*&`;&O.\ || | | | ||= | | | |- || | | | || `"="==""==,,,.,="=="==="` || | | | ||- | | -|--|= ||--|--|--|-||__.- .(\-''#####---...___..||-|--|--|--||- |--|- ~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^^^^^ ^ \)_`"""""` ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^jgs~~~ .--' ') o( )_-\ `"""` ` Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations in an on-going relationship? (The other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. Don't EVEN think of going there!) So I now present for you.... Things NOT To Say When Hanging Christmas Lights --"You've got two red lights right next to each other. You're supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue..." --"Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try." --"What on earth do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?" --"Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry that sucker." --"If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your father." --"Give me that!!" --"You've got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the top." --"I don't care if you have found another two strings, I'm done!" --"You've just wound 'em around and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this year?" --"Have you been drinking?!!?" --"Okaaay! Looks like we're *finally* done here now. Not too shabby huh? Hey... wait a minute, where's the cat?" -<>- As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate. "You can't do that," argued my four-year-old. "Don't worry. Santa will never know." He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know if you dropped a cookie on the floor?" -<>- When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. "Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog." As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, "These are for my cats." -<>- One friend complained to another, "All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "If it's that bad, why don't you just leave him?" asked the second friend. "I'm seriously considering it, but I'd like to lose another 15 pounds first." -<>- . , . L\ o .-""-. |\_ / (--> \ o .\ \'--.)_>_=/_( __ . \ )`-._/|_,( (==) o |_\ (_ ( \ /|~~| o . _.' `\ ) \_/\ \/ | | _ _.','\ _/\ (__'._/|()| |=/=/====\======/==| /` `\ \ ' . o . '-..-' o / / \ `'-.__ o' __.-'` ; _/\_ ; `'..'` ||` `|| || ||PARTY!|| || || || jgs || | \____/ | _.' '._ | | < > \_.-""-._/ `""""""` `""""""` My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you." -<>- I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer. I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?" She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: . . : . '.@.' /^\ / \ /2019 \ @@@@@@@@@ / 6 6 \ ( ^ ,) \ __, /-._ `._____.'\ `--.__ \\/ `/``"""'-. / ) / : | /\ | .--. : / /\2`\ \/ `.__.:.____.-. / / /`\0`\`/ .-"..____.-. \ jgs _.-' /_/ `\1`\ \-. \ `=----' `\9`\--------'""`-. \ `" `-./ `" >Thought Provoking Statements 1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again. 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten- page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 18. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. 19. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. 20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. 21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. 22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a butthead from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 25. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. 26. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 27. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Polar Bear Capital!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/polarbearcapital.html Wood Stacking Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodstacking.html World's Tallest SnowWoman!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snowwoman.html World's Most Spectacular Places!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spectacularplaces.html Ice Sculpture Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ices.html Dick Clark's House!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dclark.html High Tech Toys 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys2.html Amazon Warehouses!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazoncenter.html Rotating Skyscrapers!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skyscraper.html Tour Inside Of Google!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/insidegoogle.html Las Vegas Stratosphere!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/vegas.html Beautiful Artistic Stairs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/artisticstairs.html Amazing Athlete Homes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/athletehomes.html Niagara Falls Frozen!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/niagarafalls.html Singapore's Sky Park!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skypark.html Wave Frozen In Time!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wave.html Morning After The Party!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/afterparty.html A Country Christmas!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/countrychristmas.html Akiane Thru The Years!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy2.html World's Largest Things!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/largest.html We've All Been There!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbox.html World's Largest Mirror!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/saltlake.html Cell Phone Madness 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone2.html Home, James!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/homejames.html Drink Responsibly!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/drink.html -<>- Some of Shangrala's Best Pages http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html -<>- 'Die Hard' Is A Christmas Movie, Everybody Shut Up From Cracked.com: It is! Deal with it! Merry Christmas! https://tinyurl.com/y8w5mant The 5 Worst Deaths Written for Great Characters (And Why) Check out the stories about why some of our favorite characters didn't get any respect when their time came. Just Shameful! https://tinyurl.com/33fso6h Aqualux Game "Making good connections - with pipes! Rearrange pipes to deliver goat milk to elf babies or something. The important thing is, there are TONS of pipish levels waiting for you to fix!" It's addictive! http://www.addictinggames.com/puzzle-games/aqualux-game.jsp As Lost Ends, Creators Explain How They Did It... Alright 'Lost' fans. With only three episodes left for the series I thought you may want to prepare with a detailed look at the many, many, many, many, many, many mysteries of the island and of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/04/ff_lost/all/1 Bloons Super Monkey "Our Mr. Monkey dispenses with the bow and arrow, and takes the fight to the balloons' back yard: mid-air! Blast balloons to bits, upgrade to make your monkey even more super!" http://www.addictinggames.com/action-games/bloons-super-monkey-game.jsp How To Survive Holiday Parties In Just Three Steps From Cracked.com: The holidays are here, and even if you're well- adjusted, you're probably dreading at least some of the social events. Office parties, family parties, neighborhood get-togethers, gift exchanges with friends -- all are rife with opportunities for awkwardness. Please enjoy the following tips for getting through them relatively unscathed. https://tinyurl.com/yap4j52w 8 Things You May Not Know About the Real Colonel Sanders http://tinyurl.com/het6yu6 Special Canadian Humor - Nuns and Priests https://www.youtube.com/embed/Dn7RzXDsjYY Looking for the best videos? http://www.evtv1.com/ To Get your SMILE On - Happy Babies in 2018 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RZfZ3qpAMk -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ESPN shares with us the inspiring story of Alexander Findura, a college football player who was also an elite United States Marine Corps Body Bearer. Alexander walked away from a full-ride scholarship and enlisted in the Marines after one year of college. His strength, determination, and self-discipline eventually landed him a position as a Body Bear. The unit has one simple mission to carry fallen Marines to their final resting place and to do so with as much honor and dignity as possible as they are “The Last To Let You Down”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSEwux-nmPw --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU --- ...Love it! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "According to a new report, the cost of all the gifts listed in 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' song is up $233 from last year. Man, that Lords a Leaping union is killing us." -Conan O'Brien "A novelty shop is selling a hipster nativity scene that features Joseph with his hair in a man bun. Which explains why Mary was so adamant about remaining a virgin." -Seth Meyers "Christmas is that magical time of the year when we're forced to spend money we don't want to spend to travel to places we don't want to go to see the people we really don't want to see." -Jimmy Kimmel "A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese- flavored martini. Or as parents put it, 'Finally, a way to get my kids to finish their martinis.'" -Jimmy Fallon "In China, an animal trainer taught his monkeys kung fu but then they turned on him using their best kung fu moves. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times only teach your monkeys your worst Kung Fu moves." -Conan O'Brien "Scientists said yesterday that the T. rex may have had teeth serrated like a steak knife, which may have helped it eat meat more efficiently. Experts believe the T. rex evolved the knife-like teeth after having so much trouble using regular silverware." -Seth Meyers "More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it's due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30." -Jimmy Fallon "A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door." -Seth Meyers "A study has confirmed that eating less increases your life- span. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order." -Conan O'Brien "He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny." --Darren McGavin as the Old Man in 'A Christmas Story' "We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup." --Will Ferrell as Buddy in 'Elf' "You guys give up? Or are you thirsty for more?" --Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister in 'Home Alone' "Freddy Krueger doesn't scare me that much. He's a dude with gloves and a hat. He's basically Mr. Peanut in a bad mood." - Craig Ferguson "Georgia passed a new measure that requires adults in pickup trucks to wear a seatbelt. Not only that, they also have to use a cup holder for their beer." - Jimmy Fallon "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." - Noel Coward "If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith." - Albert Einstein __ .'` `'. / \ _ ; __.'` `'. | .'` `'. \ ; / HAPPY \ ; \; NEW ; | | Y E A R | ; _ ; 2 0 1 9 ;-./-_-` '-. /\ /_(;'/ `\() '. ; '.__ .'\|| ' | '. | ),\| \\ \() (\ ; \ \|/ __/ () \ __ \ \||\.~'_ `'.;-.___.~'` _'~. '.__ _/|/|/{ (_`.' '.`_) } `)/`\\\\ \ .' _ 0_._0 _ '. / .,_ \|| } -.' (_) '.- { _{ `\ \|{_ / '.___|___.' \ } //`._ | /` \ | | } }:'-. ()``'"--..==, { ,} \-"-/ .' } {,`-'. (//>`\> {` _./|\._. '-' ._ .~` /` ;'.() //> |> { {///( `-.-.-` ) _.' / '. ||> /> \ \|\);--`( )`--`(` } `\\>_.'> ; _/`/(__.'/`-'.,__/`, .` `"""` .-'` ;-.( \_(; \ .' .--, (`-._ ./ ` '. `-._..~` /o\\ jgs `'-;/``. `;-"`: |oo|| .--._ _.' . \ o ; . | /| /.-. ` . '._ _.' ' \_// ||oo\ `. `'-----` _.~`--..__,..' |\o | .~`'--......--' \'._/ _.~` `.__.-' (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•. Huggums!... :) Shangy! >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************