Happy President's Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) We have a wonderful hot new page for Valentine's Day from our friends Linda, Geniann and Brenda. This one is sure to give you plenty of heartwarming smiles. This one proves that True love is alive and well! .---. .---. ,';' `.';' `.. f :Bo. ` d88: `\ /d88P' `\ ; /d888P' `. ',d8&8P' : ;d8&7' | :8: | qx Love Stories! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovestories.html --- ...Awww, such rosy warm feelings! Thanks Ladies! This next sizzling hot new page is from our friends PatDeE and Geniann. It's a jaw dropper! A most spectacular sequoia tree standing 247 feet tall and we can see it all in one photo! ___ _,-'"" """"`--. ,-' __,,-- \ ,' __,--""""dF ) / .-"Hb_,--""dF / ,' _Hb ___dF"-._,-' ,' _,-"""" ""--..__ ( ,-' `. `._,' _ _ ; ,' ,' `-'Hb-.___..._,-' \ ,'"Hb.-'HH`-.dHF" `--' "Hb HH dF" "Hb HH dF "HbHHdF |HHHF |HHH| |HHH| |HHH| |HHH| dHHHb .dFd|bHb. o o .dHFdH|HbTHb. o / \ Y | \__,dHHFdHH|HHhoHHb.__Krogg Y ########################################## Magnificent President Tree! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/presidenttree.html --- ...Amazing to behold! Thank You PatDeE and Geniann! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: (\ _\_(`\_ `/` _ `/,-'=/` _,'|`._ /' `/` ,-' |||._ `-._ i_i _,-' ,-' || `__ `-._ "=(. .)=" _,-' _,-' --||- (..=`/._ `-/#\ ( i_i ,\ _,-' | )|_|-==` \_)`-/ /v "=(. .)=" ,' ,|/ \ |__||\ //|\\ / / #/ ,/ \ ( ,' ,' ((_.--._)) || )(/|\)' /# ; ,/ #,/v ,' ,' |`- -' ||/ (/\\ / #; ,/# ,/ ,' ' / | \ */"-._ |/ _____,-''"/_)/__ / ,',---|((_.--._(__/ _.--""_____)-//_______"-. (,-.)| `- -( _,"_.--"" |||(( __ "-.: ___,/ ;| \ */ _\'_," (\__/) |||\\\ |__`,()() . \ (,_.) (_| (__/,'_,' /_/)=\.\. = |||||| | `( ` ``\|\)\ ( ;.__| _,-'_,' =//. ==> _7)< |||||| |`` , ` * "") ___\ _,--'_,-' //_(7__/) ////\ |||||| |``` \___.--' \_"""_,--' <*)_//'"" )/_/-"""":|||||,""""(("-._/ | """" ) ( _(-' _.---"\___,----. |||||| | ,' "`._ ,(( | ) ( \_/' ,' _"" "_ `.||||| |,"\\'--._) "._ \ \_/<. .>""( ( . .) )|||| |\\ \/,"\\ /`--._) <. .>|_/\| \/ ) \,-( \(||||| | \\)"\\ \) ||_/( ( | |\/ /, \ \ )\\(:|||||,()""""-.:| | \ `-\ | |__\/, :`/-`._____,-""_,' ctr:| |"""\___,""""""""""""""\(_,( (__,-"||---""""""; \---""""---------""""""""````/////))----""""/ ~~~\ ~///////~ ~/~~~~~ \ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ /~~~~/ ~~/ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A visitor once asked, "Does it ever rain in Arizona?" A rancher quickly answered, "Yes, it does. Do you remember in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?" The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood." "Well," the rancher puffed up, "We got about two and a half inches of that." -<>- A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of the benefits of this profession," he explained, "is that we have built-in weather predictions." "What do you mean by that?" asked one inquisitive visitor. "When the cows are standing," the farmer explained, "it means no rain is likely for the next twenty-four hours. When they're lying down, it means it's going to rain." "On our bus trip," another visitor piped in, "I saw half the herd standing and the other half lying down. What does that mean?" The farmer flashed a smile and answered, "That means half of them are wrong." -<>- The new conductor addresses the orchestra. He tells them that things are going to change, that everyone will be expected to be on time and that they will work for many long hours. The timpanist, expressing his displeasure at the turn of events, belts out on the drums: BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM. The conductor, whirling around furiously, says, "Alright, who did that?!" -<>- Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 15 is Candlemas, President's Day and Singles Awareness Day February 16 is Do a Grouch a Favor Day February 17 is Random Acts of Kindness Day February 18 is National Battery Day February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day February 20 is Cherry Pie Day, Hoodie Hoo Day and Love Your Pet Day February 21 is Card Reading Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ~ ~ ( o )o) ( o )o )o) (o( ~~~~~~~~o ( )' ~~~~~~~' ( )|) |-. o| _ |-. \ o| |_||_) | \ \ | | ||_) | | | o| | / / | |." " | |- ' .========. mb >Health Secret An old lady is asked the secret to a long and healthy life. "For better digestion I drink beer. If I have appetite loss I drink white wine. In case of low blood pressure I drink red wine. For high blood pressure I drink Scotch. And when I have a cold I drink schnapps." "When do you drink water?" "I've never been that sick." -<>- >A Call to the Airline A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained that her destination was Fresno, California and FAT was the code for Fresno Air Terminal. The airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. -<>- >Birdwatching Birdwatching is a passion of mine, and my wife has always been impressed by my ability to identify each species solely by its song. To help her learn a little bit about birds, I bought a novelty kitchen clock that sounds a different bird call for each hour. We were relaxing in our yard when a cardinal started singing. "What's that?!" I challenged. She listened closely. "It's three o'clock." -<>- Calories (noun): Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. -<>- >Blender One afternoon after arriving home, I decided to make myself a smoothie. I pulled out the blender, plugged it in and as I poured in the frozen berries, the blender came to life, sending berries flying across the room. I refilled the blender and again it started up, berries flying across the kitchen. It wasn't until my third attempt that I noticed my protruding 8 1/2 month pregnant belly was leaning on the "pulse" button. -<>- >High Blood Pressure Nurse: Your blood pressure is amazingly high. Is your job very stressful? Patient: Well, I work at a petting zoo. Nurse: That seems easy enough. Patient: I determine which animals are too vicious to be petted. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ,-------------------. ,-{ He's joking, right? _, ( These cartridges ) ._ _,._`-------------------' _._ (/} _.-` will prepare it '--. {\)(/}{\) (_=_)-. 'n\ ( for the next action ) /n`/n /n` | " |_ \ T-' `--------------------' `/ `/ `/ `-.-' "-` U U U U Nn nN nN nN >SMILES The Army has built a computer to solve strategic or tactical problems. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed it a difficult tactical problem. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: "Attack or Retreat?" The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: "Yes." The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second question to the computer: "Yes WHAT?" Instantly the computer responds: "Yes, SIR." ------------ I was making up signs for my mother's yard sale. One of the posters read, "SENIOR CITIZENS' SALE." A passing motorist stopped and said, "I'll take two if they babysit." ------------ Becky and Sally Ann were two blondes doing carpentry work on a house. Becky, who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Sally Ann sighed and shook her head, "Becky, those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" ------------ Marvin was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common sense. He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!. ...... ------------ A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The 4-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh... I know what *you've* been doing." ------- "I never slept with a man until I married your father," declared the stern mother to her wild young daughter. "Will you be able to say the same thing to your daughter?" "Yes," replied the girl, "but not with such a straight face." ------------ Two little girls, pushing their doll buggies in the park, meet for the first time. Examining the other's doll buggy and baby, each exclaimed, "Oh what a pretty baby and baby buggy you have. Where did you get your baby and what did it cost?" "My Mommy got mine at a sale at a Super K Mart store for $32.95" "Oh that's great!.. She's so pretty." "Well thank you. And where did you get your baby? She's such a beautiful little doll." "Mommy got mine at Wal Mart for $32.04, the last one they had." "Well she is certainly beautiful. You must be very proud of her." Just then a real mommy came by with her firstborn. Naturally the oo's and aa's started ending with the same question, 'where did you get your baby and how much did he cost?' "Well, I got my baby at the Sutter Maternity Hospital and it cost about $5,000." The two little girls were stunned. The group broke up, the real mommy walked on. Finally one of the little girls turned to the other and said, "You know, I don't know what you think about that, but if you ask me, she REALLY got a bad deal!" ------- An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 AM and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife." ------- On the eve of the couple's 10th wedding anniversary, the still slim wife was bragging about her figure. "You know, honey," she said, "I can still get into the same skirts I did before we were married." "Yeah?" the husband replied as he turned his attention back to the ballgame on TV. "I wish to Heck I could." ------- A beautiful woman walked into a famous castle with Olympic size swimming pool appeared in so many movies with a great thrilling history. She could not resist the opportunity to look like a famous actress and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the chief caretaker appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along. He looked at her lusciously and told her that swimming was prohibited. "You could have told me that before I undressed!" She scolded him. The caretaker replied, "Swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't." ------------ Dr. Frankenstein had been noticing for several years that his "monster" seemed to be lacking a certain "je ne sais quoi" in his life. He and Mrs. Frankenstein were discussing the problem one day, and the Missus suddenly had a bright idea. "Maybe he needs a mate." "Good idea, my dear," said the doctor. "Let's create him a mate, and he can make love to her for the first time this coming Valentine's Day." So, they worked day and night and finally got the lady "monster" ready in time to "wake her up" on Valentine's Day. The original creation was there beside Dr. and Mrs., just jumping from one foot to another in eager anticipation of the solution to this cravings. As the electricity snapped and popped, Dr. Frankenstein shouted, "Look! She's about to speak!" The new creation sat up and croaked in a broken voice: "Oooooo ---OH! Head----ache!" --- ...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) + vAv .-. (")| # | / v \\# | + o c\\ //=.-'O/"-. |/~."| |"-/.-'| / . (__| | | (=/===)` ~-.|.-' a:f >JOKES Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young CPA agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, " and I shall hew the young accountant in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The accountant must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows me that she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ______________ A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "...and you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10 speed bike honking to pass." ------- Location, Location, Location In the news this week, a Southern California man was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and had (by rough estimate) one million rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also has a secret escape tunnel. The television reporter said: "Wow! He has about a million machine gun bullets!" and the headline referred to it as a "massive weapons cache." By California standards someone owning even 100,000 rounds would be called "mentally unstable." If he lived elsewhere, such as Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector. " In Oklahoma, he'd be called "a novice gun collector." In Utah, he'd be called "moderately well prepared", but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food. In Montana, he'd be called "the neighborhood 'Go-To' guy." In Idaho, he'd be called "a likely gubernatorial candidate." In Wyoming, he'd be called "an eligible bachelor". And... In Texas, he'd be called "a Hunting Buddy." --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From Our Friend Geniann :) Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu stuck back at Hamas with a sheer stroke of brilliance!!! http://tinyurl.com/jfcbdql --- ...Gotta love the wisdom here - it's biblical! Thanks Geniann! Matt.5: [43] Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. [44] But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; [45] That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. -<>- Lawsuit Claims Gospel for Asia Misused Most Donations to 10/40 Window http://tinyurl.com/hrwfbhu -<>- Top News: http://rightalerts.com/ TPNN http://tinyurl.com/jxwk257 -<>- >From BizarreNews: People are products of their environments. Maybe that is why the Florida man in today's story picked such a bizarre method to trying to steal a free meal. 23-year-old Joshua James pulled up to a Wendy's drive-thru in Loxahatchee, Fla. and ordered a meal and a drink. But after getting his hands on the grub he didn't hand over any money. Instead he threw a 3 1/2 foot alligator into the window of the drive-thru. I have never had an opportunity to handle an alligator, but I can't imagine 3 1/2 feet of thrashing reptile is either light or easy to throw. But somehow James managed it. He was later arrested by U.S. Marshals. James was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, illegally killing, possessing or capturing an alligator, and second-degree larceny petit theft. Assault with a deadly 'weapon'? Since when is an alligator considered a weapon? *-- First the Roof, Now the Basement --* Last week a car ended up on a roof in California. This week it is a basement in New York. Gerald Ruhland of Cheektowaga, NY woke to a "big bang" about 2 in the morning. He thought his furnace had blown up. Then he heard voices. "I could hear someone talking, and there was a car in the basement," Ruhland said. The Dodge Avenger with a driver and passenger had entered his house through the living room and then sank into the basement. About five minutes later, firefighters and other emergency personnel arrived on the scene. The driver was able to get out of the car on his own, emergency responders had to extricate the second person. Speed was possibly a factor in the crash. Police are still investigating. *-- An Amazing Million-to-One Birth --* If you're white and your partner is black and you have a baby, that baby will be a mix of black and white. In some very rare circumstances, the baby will have either predominantly black or predominantly white characteristics, making the baby effectively black OR white. But say you had twins. Last year Hannah Yarker gave birth to twin girls. Hannah is white and her partner, Kyle Armstrong, is mixed- race. The twin girls; one black and one white. What are the chances one twin would be black and the other white? About a million to one. The stunned mom claimed, "I can't believe I have one of each." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Fran :) ,ae, ,88888e ,a888b.9888888i 888888888888888 88888888888888Y '8888888888888' "S888888888" unknown "7888888Y "e88j "Y Here's a cute Valentine's story for your reading pleasure. So I'm waiting in line at the pharmacy the other night and in front of me is this woman waiting for her prescription. The pharmacist brought the woman her drugs for whatever the heck her problem was and this conversation took place: Pharmacist: Do you have any questions? Woman: Yes, can I speak to the pharmacist? Pharmacist: I am the pharmacist. Woman: Oh, okay. Would I be able to mix this prescription with alcohol? Pharmacist: Well, there isn't a specific warning prohibiting the use of alcohol with this particular drug, but we always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation. Woman: Okay then. Pharmacist: Any other questions? Woman: What about one drink? Pharmacist: We always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation. Woman: What about two drinks? Pharmacist: We always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation. Woman: What about three drinks? Pharmacist: Miss, we always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation. Woman: Well, I mean Valentine's Day is coming up, and I'm not going to lie, I'm going to be drinking. I just want to make sure that it's okay to drink while I'm taking my med's. I want to get better, but I also want to have a good time. You know what I mean? I want to get healthier, but I don't want to miss out on stuff. A few drinks should be okay, right? The pharmacist looked at the woman for about ten seconds without making a sound or movement and then repeated for the fifth time, "We always caution our customers to engage in the use of alcohol in moderation." Then the woman paid and left. So I guess what we can all take away from this romantic tale of drugs, booze and morons is the best way to have a Happy Valentine's Day is to be sure to ask your special someone about their medical history before buying them a drink and catching something you can't get rid of. Happy Valentine's Day! - Steve --- ...TeeHee Thanks Fran! -<>- >Tips: . . . . ,-,--. __| //``-, \ \_`\ )\a-a-? \ \ \_`(_=_/_-`__ \__, , \| | _ _,' ___7 ) | (_)(_`__(_,---' | ( _( ) | / /_| |________| __/__/__|__|_________) _________(__,_|)/ (__)|/____\(_______________ mic Love to relax after a long day with a glass or bottle of a cold refreshing beverage, but get annoyed by the way coasters and napkins stick to the condensation on the bottom? Try using this tip that bartenders swear by... Sprinkle a little salt on the coaster or napkin before setting your drink down. The salt reduces the surface 'stickiness' of water, so nothing clings to it when you pick it up. Preserve your cookbook pages: Spill something on your cookbook? Blot pages dry with a paper towel, then place a piece of wax paper between the pages before closing. The wax paper will keep the pages from sticking to each other before completely drying. --- ...Never heard of these! Thanks Fran! ========================================================== >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ///"\ |6 6| \ - / .@@@. __) (__ @6 6@/ \./ \ @ = @ : : : \ _) (_'| : |) ) /' \./ '\ : |_/ / /\ _ /\ \=o==|) \ \ ) (/ /%|%%' '7/ \7%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | |`%%|%%' | | %%|%% |_.._| /_|_\ pjb On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, ‘I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’ and he leaves. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in heaven. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. ‘Yes,’ he informs the couple, ‘you can get married in Heaven.’ ‘Great!’ said the couple, ‘But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?’ St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. ‘What’s wrong?’ asked the frightened couple. ‘OH, COME ON!’, St. Peter shouted, ‘It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?’ ------- Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date. The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. “No way,” the blonde exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday!” ------- Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking in fear. "What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked. "No, it's not that. I've been transferred to Chicago . The people are crazy there, right? Lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation." Bob replied, "I've lived in Chicago all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. I've worked there for 14 years and never had the slightest trouble." The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you've lived and worked there all those years and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?" "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck." --- ...Oh My! HaHa! About the truth too! Thanks Geniann! ===================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher. I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately. "You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied. "I just threw my wife's credit cards in there." -<>- * * ,,, ____()() } ======= ( \\ \ \\____===. based on a duck by Marvin Bedard ______) ( )\(____ / ___/ \ [%]__ \ //|| // \ ||\\ || ||__^^^ ^^^___|| || ejm97 ||/____\_/----\_/_____\|| | ____________________ || || || || || || || || || || || || || || || Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck hunting? They bought new outfits & equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good. But after several hours of thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this. We've been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do you think we're doing something wrong?" "I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough." -<>- "Because we live in the modern age, women now have choices that are just killing them. "They can have a job, not have a job. They can be married or unmarried, married with children, unmarried with children, married with children and a job, unmarried with children and a job, unmarried with children and no job, unmarried with children who themselves have jobs, have a job and an au pair who has children, marry the au pair, have the au pair have their children, etc... "Men, unfortunately, have the same choice we've always had: we can work or we can go to jail." --Tim Allen -<>- A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy or blizzard conditions should take: - Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag - Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves - 24 hours supply of food and drink - De-icer - 5 lbs of rock salt - flashlight with spare batteries - Road flares and reflective triangles - Tow rope - 5 gallon gas can - First aid kit - Jump cables I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning. -<>- A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Asking questions during children's sermons is crucial. Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him And the little boy said, "I'm not sure, but I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor." -<>- Jim's doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left. "All I want," Jim tells his beloved wife, "is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon." Which is exactly what they did. But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she's tired and wants to go to sleep. "Oh, come on," Jim whispers in her ear, "one more time." "Look," his wife snaps, "I've got to get up in the morning. You don't!" -<>- ___.-----.______ ___.-----'::::::::::::::::`---.___ _.--._ (:::;,-----'~~~~~`----::::::::::.. `-. _ .'_---. `--.__ `~~' `~`--.:::::`.. `.. ; `-.____.-' ' {0} ` `--._`---.____ `:::::::: : :: :_^ ~ `--.___ `----.__`----.____ ~::::::.`;': :`--.__,-----.___( `---.___ `---.___ `----.___ ~|;:,' : | `-.___,---.____ _, ._ `----.____ `----.__ `-----.___;--' ; : `---' `. `._ `)) , , , `----.____.----.____ --' :| / `,--.\ `.` ` ` ` , , , _.-- `-----'|' _.~~~~~~._____ __./'_/' : .:----.___ ` ` ` `` .-' , , :::' ///--\; ____ : :' ____`---.___.--:: , ` ` ::' `' _.' ( /______ ( `-._ `-._,-' () () .-' __.-// /_______---' `-._ `. * *(o)' ~~~ ///// `' ~~~~~~ ~~ ______; ::. `\ )( /* `'`' /_______ _.' {()} , ~~~ ~~~~~~~~ /___.---' --__ !| ` ~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ unknown A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five-year- old son was sitting on the back of an alligator. Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator." To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no! Don't shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son's picture on his back." -<>- When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!' ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Boys To President!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boystopres.html Limos In US History!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/limos.html US Presidents And The Queen!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/queenofengland.html Obama Saga!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/obamasaga.html Bear Rescue 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrescue3.html Tree Trunk Art 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trunkart2.html Winter Wildlife 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/winter2.html Invisible Animals!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/invisible.html Most Unique Trees!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uniquetrees.html Great Banyan Tree!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/banyan.html Disney Tree Of Life!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneytree.html Great Horned Owls!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/owl.html -<>- >Follow Me On StumbleUpon :) http://tinyurl.com/zt35y9k -<>- >From Carmen: 4 FREE TICKET TOUR SPECIAL: (Donations) I am offering a New soul winners pack redeemable at any concert on the New 2016 "S.A.V.E.D. 100% Tour. You will receive 2 Gold seating tickets, a VIP tour tote bag, Free CD, T-Shirt, 4 CD downloads and 2 backstage "meet and greet" passes. Also you'll get 2 more tickets to give away to friends you want to introduce to Jesus that night. They will also receive 2 meet and greet passes. In addition to that you'll receive downloads of the New SAVED 100% CD and 3 Classic CD's: Radically Saved, Revival in the Land and Addicted to Jesus. This offer won't last too long so act now and help us achieve our goal of 10,000 salvations on this tour. Click now on https://www.gofundme.com/Carman/donate?amt=100 God Bless You, Carman -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) 10 Incredible Food Life Hacks you need to know plus tips on the 2nd one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rHWUki86N8&feature=player_detailpage http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD0ik9k1844&feature=player_detailpage The Bee Gees recorded Staying Alive. Whether you are a Bee Gees or Rita Hayworth fan or not...you are going to like this. A great job of putting clips together with the music. It is a great marriage of 40's dancing and late 70's music. Enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz3CPzdCDws In our Instant Accomplice gags, we recruit strangers to help them play a prank on their loved ones! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKRWrNysNEA The KFPS Friesian Horse- beautiful, versatile, athletic, kind, willing, and able to do anything! May the world see that this breed is loved and enjoyed by all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Y5XJbSqwriM -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) I liked this one.... My reactions are of a 33 year old..... What a great start to the day! LOL IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE QUICK REACTION TIMES WHEN DRIVING, TRY THIS. IF YOU DRIVE AND TEXT SHAME ON YOU. https://www.justpark.com/creative/reaction-time-test/ --- ...Giggles! Thanks Linda! I got: 30 Year Old, then 26 Year Old and then 20 year old and figured I best stop while I was ahead! LOL! I temped fate and got 19 year old then 'we're not sure if you're an actual human being with 260 milliseconds!' WooWhoo!! Most Amazing Intersection! My conclusion after a couple of views, their vehicles have great brakes and the pedestrians are wearing Nike running shoes In this time lapse video, we see the intersection at Meskel Square, the nerve center of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. While the square is a primary site for the city's large festivals and celebrations, it is also a chaotic crossroad for thousands of vehicles daily. https://www.youtube.com/embed/UEIn8GJIg0E?rel=0 --- ...Hair raising! Thanks Linda! Visit with God -- IT ONLY TAKES THREE MINUTES https://www.youtube.com/embed/moBvLFbFdJ4 --- ...Sweet! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Top Song In Australia https://www.youtube.com/embed/yZZlo0WZ_iU?rel=0 I like the comments here... "his-butt" tahrir are an exteme radical islamic political group. It would do well for all aussies to actually look up their web page in Australia. It fairly well declares war on our culture, laws, and our freedoms. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZZlo0WZ_iU --- ...Seems we've all had about enough of the Islamic radicals! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Melinda :) One Of The Funniest Comedy sketches http://tinyurl.com/z75yxtp Lion Shows Tourists Why You Must Stay Inside Your Car Tourists hanging out of their car at a lion sighting. This lion felt threatened and barked at the tourists. If he had decided to attack, there wouldn't have been enough time to get in the car and close the window. http://tinyurl.com/jsxxscu --- ...Crazy! You don't want to invade their space! Thanks Melinda! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The Harry Potter Studio Tour just announced that it's hosting a Valentine's Day dinner in the Great Hall from Hogwarts. It's great for couples, or for single guys who claim their date is wearing an 'invisibility cloak.'" -Jimmy Fallon "Fast-food chain White Castle announced this week that they will be offering dinner reservations for Valentine's Day. It's the perfect way to tell the person you love that you don't." -Seth Meyers "A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine's Day gifts. A good way to tell that you've lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine's Day gift." --Jimmy Kimmel "Last night was Super Bowl 50. It's a special night where Americans gather with friends and family to lose money and gain weight." -Jimmy Fallon "During the Super Bowl, Quicken Loans debuted a new app that lets people get a mortgage instantly on their phones by just tapping the screen. The app is called, 'What could possibly go wrong?'" -Conan O'Brien "Last night was caucus night in Iowa and Ted Cruz was the winner on the Republican side with 28 percent of the vote. Donald Trump came in second with 24 percent, and Marco Rubio is right behind him with 23 percent. Third is pretty good considering the fact that most Iowa voters think that Marco Rubio is a game you play in the swimming pool." -Jimmy Kimmel "Facebook turned 12 years old today, and it's hard to believe it has only been 12 years since I learned to hate every single person I know." -Jimmy Kimmel "After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, 'You mean I've been eating a dangerous chemical?' While most people were like, 'You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'" -Jimmy Fallon "According to a new study, women are more attracted to men who talk less. Which is why you often overhear women say, 'Check out that mime.'" -Conan O'Brien "The $1.568 billion Powerball jackpot will be split three ways. You break it down, each of the three winners will receive $529 million - and 250 new relatives." -Jimmy Kimmel "Oscar nominations were announced today and Sylvester Stallone is up for best supporting actor. Stallone said today that it was an honor to be nominated. Or he said it's an 'awkward denominator.'" -Seth Meyers "A new report found that 20 percent of people over 45 had to dip into their retirement savings last year. And the other 80 percent said, 'retirement savings?'" -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************