Happy President's Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This scorcher is from our friends Linda and Karen. It is sure to give you your dose of 'sww' for the day!. Check out this adorable one here... Wild Kisses And Snuggles http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wildkisses.html --- ...So cute and heartwarming! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: With A Twist! ___ .'`-, `. A man walks into a Chinese restaurant and is / .' \ told by the maitre'd that there will be at ;,-' _ _ least a twenty minute wait and to wait in the 8 \ _\ bar. So he goes and has a seat at the bar. 8 \ \ -| The bartender walks up and says with a heavy 8 _/ `,-` accent, "What you dlink?" 8 `-._| ^ ` The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist." The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time were *four* little pigs..." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day February 18 is National Battery Day February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day February 20 is Hoodie Hoo DayMore Info on Hoodie Hoo Day February 21 is Card Reading Day February 22 is Be Humble Day February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: __ ___ / / ___( (\_( ) )/ / |\___` \\_\/_/_/_\ | | ____/\_\`._._...^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ | ||\__/ '_\ \`_._\.; \_\ |\\)\)\| \ \|| | | | | | | \ \ \|-\\ \ | \ || | |^| | | | \ __ \ \ | | | | \ \)\\) \ \_\ |\|\\|\ \|ejm__| |____| \ \)\\\ \ \ \|/|-\| \ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >Last Minute Gift A man rushed to the jewelry counter in the store where I work soon after the doors opened one morning and said he needed a pair of diamond earrings. I showed him a wide selection, and quickly he picked out a pair. When I asked him if he wanted the earrings gift-wrapped, he said, "That'd be great. But can you make it quick? I forgot today was my anniversary, and my wife thinks I'm taking out the trash." -<>- >Learning to Drive A police officer stopped a car which was zigzagging alarmingly. "Sir, what exactly are you doing?" "I'm learning to drive." "What?!? without an instructor in the car?" "It's an online course." -<>- >Lost Money Miss Evans addressed her third-grade class after recess: "Did anyone lose a dollar on the playground?" "I did, Miss Evans," said Rob. "A dollar bill fell out of my pocket." "But this was four quarters," said Miss Evans. "Hmm," replied Rob. "It must have broken when it hit the ground." -<>- >Nervious Flyer I guess you could call me a nervous flyer. That would be incorrect -- I am a VERY nervous flyer. During my last flight I noticed the lights were flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she'd "solved" the problem by turning off the lights. The guy sitting next to me said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines." -<>- >Pie Manners Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result, they seldom had guests. Johnny was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father, who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size." ========================================================= __-----__ ..;;;--'~~~`--;;;.. /;-~IN GOD WE TRUST~-.\ // ,;;;;;;;; \\ .// ;;;;; \ \\ || ;;;;( /.| || || ;;;;;;; _\ || || ';; ;;;;= || ||LIBERTY | ''\;;;;;; || \\ ,| '\ '|><| 1995 // \\ | | \ A // `;.,|. | '\.-'/ ~~;;;,._|___.,-;;;~' ''=--' - Daniel C Au - >-->President's Day SMILES: Q: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president? A: Ape Lincoln! Q: Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard? A: He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill. Q: What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger? A: Babe Lincoln! Q: Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War? A: After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! Teacher: "John, do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?" Student: "No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!" Q: Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat? A: To keep his head warm! Q: WHat US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell? A: Abraham Stincoln! Q: Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin? A: Because it was too cold to be born outside! Q: Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone? A: They're both on the (s)cent! Q: Why did they call Lincoln "Honest Abe"? A: Because that's what it said on all his campaign buttons. Q: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? A: Because he couldn't lie. Q: What do you call George Washington's false teeth? A: Presidentures! Q: What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character? A: George Washingtoon! Q: Was General Washington a handsome man? A: Yes, he was George-eous! Q: How did George Washington speak to his army? A: In general terms! From: http://www.jokes.net/shortpresidentsdayjokes.htm ============================================================== >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) ,--------------------------------------------------------------------------. | OV"|OOOOOOOO> U N I T E D S T A T E S OF A M E R I C A O N E D O L L A R Smiles A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp command she had the decks buzzing with men and soon the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was however a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message and he was even more surprised when he read "My personal congratulations" upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste however you have overlooked one of the unwritten rules -- make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way." ------- A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away, complaining and criticizing throughout the process. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches." The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Nine, but what do you care about that?" The judge patiently said, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop gavel, the lady's long suffering husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak. The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?" The husband said, "Your Honour, she also stole a can of peas. ------- A preacher was really hitting his stride one Sunday, Delivering a sermon on sin. "Is there anyone here who is Without SIN?" he shouted, glowering at the congregation. Embarrassed parishioners stirred nervously in their seats, but no one stood. Feeling he really had them this time, the preacher said, "Is there anyone here who thinks he or she is PERFECT?" One small man, seated next to a rather imposing woman, rose Nervously to his feet. "So, Brother Jones, you think YOU are PERFECT?" The man replied, "No, Reverend, I'm just standing for My wife's first husband. ------- One afternoon Ole told Sven, "I'm 'bout ready for a vacation ya know; only ting dis year I'm gonna do it different. Da last few years, I took your advice about where to go ya know. You said to go to Hawaii three years ago. I went and Lena got pregnant. The Bahamas, you told me to go to two years ago; Lena got pregnant again. Last year I vent to Tahiti and darned if Lena didn't get pregnant again." Sven asked, "Well Ole, vat you gonna do this year that's different?" Ole replied, "Ya know Sven, I'm thinking about taking Lena wit me dis time..." ------- A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and asked, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?" "Really," he said, "have you tried mouthwash? -------- Late one Sunday afternoon, a blonde from a small town was taking a long walk through a nearby meadow, when she was surprised to see a parachutist trapped in the high branches of a tree. "Hellllllp!" he cried when he spotted her down below. "What are you doing up there?" she called back. "I was skydiving," he answered, "and my parachute didn't open!" The blonde rolled her eyes. "Well, of course it didn't. If you'd just asked one of the locals, anybody could've told you that *nothing* around here opens on a Sunday! -------- A man walks into a store and says, "I would like to buy a bottle of perfume for my wife for Valentine's Day." The clerk says, "That will be a nice surprise for her." The many replies, "It sure will, she was expecting a diamond necklace." -------- A man walks into a bar obviously stone drunk, and asks for a drink. Sorry the bartender but you obviously already had a little to much to drink. Fuming mad the drunk walks out the front door and walks into the side door. "Can I have a drink please." "Sorry" the bartender says "but you can't have a drink here." The drink walks out and goes in through the back door. "Can I please have a drink." "Enough!" The bartender screamed "I told You No Drinks!" The Drunk looks at the bartender closely and exclaimed "Darn! how many bars you work at? -------- A husband and wife were watching the gorillas at the local zoo, when several of them charged at the enclosure fence, scattering the crowd in all directions, except for one elderly man. Later the wife asked him, how he had kept his composure. "Heck, I used to drive a school bus." --- ...LOL! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================== >-->Freom Our Friend Karen :) ________ _jgN########Ngg_ _N##N@@"" ""9NN##Np_ d###P N####p "^^" T#### d###P _g###@F _gN##@P gN###F" d###F 0###F 0###F 0###F "NN@' ___ q###r "" >Trivial Pursuit Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false? Answers are below. 1 . Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. 2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.. 3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years. 4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more. 5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart! 6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties. 7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute. 8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old. 9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines. 10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498. 11. The average housefly lives for one month. 12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year. 13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened. 14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute. 15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day. 16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep. 17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water. 18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot. 19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' and 'Tootsie.' 20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem. 21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk. 22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case there is a crash. 23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor. 24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein transplant surgery. 25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins. 26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green. (NOW Scroll down for answer.) . . . . . . . . . . . . . They are ALL true ..... Now go back and think about #16 --- ...Amazing Huh? Thanks Karen! ================================================================ >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: It sounds like an indie rock band, but apparently a "stone baby" is the rare phenomenon in which a fetus grows and then dies out- side of the uterus. Why preamble Bizarre News with this weird bit of medical trivia? Because one of these rare unborn fetuses has been discovered in an 84-year-old Brazilian woman. How long had this poor woman been carrying this macabre relic around inside of her? Over 40 years. The discovery came when the woman started suffering intense stomach pains and went to the hospital. X-rays revealed the unthinkable. Since the fetus grows and then dies outside of the uterus the body is unable to rid itself of it. The dead fetus is instead covered in calcium as a means of protection, resulting in the "stone baby." The woman said she became pregnant more than 40 years ago but suffered pain during the pregnancy and visited a local healer for help. After taking what he had given her, "her stomach didn't grow anymore, the baby stopped moving, and she thought it had been aborted," says a gynecologist at the hospital where she was transferred. The Brazilian says she does not want the fetus removed. I guess after over 40 years what's the point? -<>- *-- Police: Robber armed with chainsaw had flower pot on head --* FLINDERS VIEW, Australia - Australian police said they arrested a 19-year-old man accused of arming himself with a chainsaw and covering his head with a flower pot to rob a store. Investigators said Steven Frank Steele, 19, of Leichhardt, had a flower pot over his head to conceal his identity and was holding a running chainsaw when he entered the 7-Eleven store in Flinders View about 4:30 a.m. Monday, the Queensland Times reported Thursday. Police said the two store attendants fled to a back room when Steele lunged at them. He allegedly used the chainsaw to damage a window and several display racks when they refused his demands for money. Steele allegedly bared his buttocks to the store employees and damaged a parked car while fleeing the scene. Police said he took a bottle of soda from the store. Police said the chainsaw, which is believed to have been stolen, was recovered from a bush near the scene and Steele was arrested by a police officer who saw him walking down a nearby street. Steele was charged with one count of armed robbery, two counts of willful damage, one count of going armed to cause fear, one count of public nuisance and one count of possessing suspected stolen property. *-- Italian family buries mother they said was still alive --* PALERMO, Italy - An Italian family said they were forced to bury their 68-year-old mother even though they believe she was still alive. The family of Grazi Bruno, 68, said she wasn't really dead because her body showed no decomposition or rigor mortis, which normally occurs after death, the ANSA news agency reported Friday. The family fought with municipal authorities over their mother's body for eight days after two medical authorities confirmed she died from pancreatic cancer. The family held a funeral in the town of Villagrazia di Carini near the capital of Palermo. "For us, we will always regret that we buried our mother while she was still alive," one family member, whose name wasn't reported, said. "Anyone in their place would have acted in same way," said priest Antonino Caruso. "Better to err on the side of caution than on indifference and distraction," the priest said during Mass. *-- Woman who swiped bagel shop cat says she did nothing wrong --* NEW YORK - A woman accused of stealing a New York cat refused a deal to keep her out of jail, saying she feels she was in the right because the cat appeared abused. Nancy Glassman appeared Wednesday in Manhattan Criminal Court and declined the deal offered by prosecutors, which would have dismissed the charges in six months if she avoided further legal trouble, the New York Post reported Thursday. Glassman said she encountered the cat, Cosmo, at the Bagels & Co. shop Sept. 22. "I see the cat walk from these huge filthy dusty bags in the corner and this guy brooms him to the side," she said. "I saw this abuse then saw the cat's ears and thought what's wrong with him? This cat has a massive infection and needs help." Glassman took the cat to Animal Care and Control NYC. She said a pair of detectives soon visited her North Woodmere, N.Y., home and asked her to come down to the precinct and identify the cat. "They tricked me and when I got there they started reading me my rights," she said. Glassman spent the night in a holding cell before being arraigned on a burglary charge, which she said she will fight in court. "I don't believe I did anything wrong," she said outside the courthouse. "The whole world is saying how can we stop abuse, how can we stop the Adam Lanzas of the world but no one wants to get involved. I thought he needed help so I helped. It was automatic." A veterinarian determined the cat's sores and large ears were the result of a congenital defect and not caused by neglect. The animal was returned to his owner. *-- Restaurant bill called diners 'Old Ladies' --* BAKERSFIELD, Calif. - A California grandmother who went with a friend to a concert at a restaurant said she was shocked to find "Old Ladies" printed at the top of her bill. The woman, who did not want to be identified, said she and a friend won tickets to the concert at the Bull Shed Bar and Grill in Bakersfield and they discovered their bill for the food they ordered at the show had been labeled "Old Ladies," KERO-TV, Bakersfield, reported Thursday. "Not everyone is a stereotype person and I think the idea of tabling, tables with names that are appropriate for people, they can be at table one, table two, table three, whatever, but our table was named 'Old Ladies,'" she said. "At first, I was like 'oh, no way,' and my girlfriend that was with me, she thought it was funny and said it's funny, but to a point," the woman said. A picture of the bill posted on Facebook garnered numerous comments supportive of the women and critical of their server. Angel Gonzales, owner of the restaurant, said the server had only been working for a few weeks and was likely overwhelmed on the night of the concert. "This is not the way we run our business," he said. "That night, it was extremely busy. It was the night of the concert. It's not an excuse. It shouldn't of happened, no matter what," he said. Gonzales said he personally apologized to the woman. "The lady took the time to come down here to talk to me. I explained to her what happened and I apologized to her," he said. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH >$5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen? I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!" I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus: The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was,"Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits. Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake." I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time." All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yessss, I was racing some kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast. As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey. The good news was that I had successfully found my way home. Pass this on to the other's (so they can have fun laughing, too). Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading. P.S. Save the earth...... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!! Oops, did I send this to you already? --- ...LOL! Thanks for this classic PatDeE! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Linda :) + (|) _____.___.|_|. | / \ |===| | / \ | o | |__/__v__\|, ,| | | | | | || || |/| . . . |','| ||| A A A | , | ||| M M M | | wtx --------------------- >The Pastor: A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only 8 minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only 10 minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they asked him what happened. The Pastor explained the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But on the third Sunday, he put his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up. -<>- ________ /________\ //( ( ( ( \\ || ((|| ||) ) ` ) )|| || (\___( ( || \|) ) \)_|/ / ((\_v_/ \ / /) x \ \ | | x | | | \ x / | | | x | | | |\ x /| | | |/\ x /\| | | | \x/ | | | | V | | /____\ /____\ | | | | / \ / \ | | | | `~~| |~~' |\ /| | \ / | |___V___| | / \ | | / \ | |/ \| / \ / \ ______/ \_______ ============================ Alyssa >Interesting study A study worth sharing with friends both male and female : A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected. --- ...LMAO! Oh My! Thanks Linda! ========================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: _ , L\ \/OO\ |/ \ /_\ ` _\ |_ Arjen Pilon A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It's for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!" -<>- Two older, successful businessmen met at a resort. One who had recently retired was describing his life, "I get up late in the morning, have a light breakfast and then I lie down on my veranda for a few hours and relax. In the afternoon I go inside for lunch, have a great salad, fruits and cold fish, then I spend the rest of the afternoon boating or playing golf or tennis... When it starts to get dark I have a great dinner with the finest wines. I smoke a Cuban cigar. Then I go lie on my veranda again." The other gentleman acknowledges that this is a life to be envied. Later he reported the conversation to his wife. She asked, "What's his wife's name?" Her husband said, "I'm not sure, but I think it's Veranda." -<>- New to town, I was eager to meet people and make friends. So one day I struck up a conversation with the only other woman in the gym. Pointing to two men playing racquetball in a nearby court, I said to her, "There's my husband." Then I added, "The thin one--not the fat one." After a slightly uncomfortable silence she replied, "And that's my husband - the fat one." -<>- ____ || | ||___| _)__<__ _ _ |____|__|:|___|:|_ | |_.---._|___| _ | o| | | |_o_| | || |/| |\| | |_||____|`\___/'|___| V _/-\_ fsc The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail and how to access the "Information Highway". An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn't working; his attempts to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail. He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach- I asked him where he obtained such an unusual mail address. He replied, "The sign told me, 'begins@7:30P.M.'" -<>- "Because we live in the modern age, women now have choices that are just killing them. "They can have a job, not have a job. They can be married or unmarried, married with children, unmarried with children, married with children and a job, unmarried with children and a job, unmarried with children and no job, unmarried with children who themselves have jobs, have a job and an au pair who has children, marry the au pair, have the au pair have their children, etc... "Men, unfortunately, have the same choice we've always had: we can work or we can go to jail." --Tim Allen -<>- Many people hold down two jobs, so I wasn't surprised when my hairdresser mentioned to me that he also worked part-time at the race track. "That's interesting," I said. "What do you do?" As he finished styling my hair, he replied, "I groom horses." -<>- Vacationing in Kentucky, a friend and I spent the night at a small motel outside of Louisville. In the morning, I asked the woman at the desk for directions to Churchill Downs. Not able to tell us, she called her husband from the back room. "Churchill Downs?" he asked. "That's the race-track, isn't it?" We nodded. He hesitated and then said, "I'm pretty sure it's somewhere south of the university. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can be much help." At that point his wife left the room. The husband looked over his shoulder to make sure she had disappeared. Then he winked at us, leaned over the counter and whispered, "Take Third Street through town, go past the university and turn right on Central Avenue. After that, just look for the twin spires. You can't miss 'em!" -<>- Minnie Mouse c<> , ,CCC cC> ...: ... ,CCCC'CC> .::::`.ccCCCCC CCCCCcCC' :::'.cCCCCCCCCC CCCCCC-' `:'.CcCC`CCCCCC :: ,C`CCC',cCCCc ` ''.: .,. `CCCCCCCCCcCC ... ,cd ,ud$$$$$$$c `CCCCCCCCCC :::::::::::. ,c$$$,J$$$$$$$$$$$b `CCCCCCC' .:::::::::::::: ,d$$$$$$?$$$$$$$$$$$$L:..`''' : :::::::::::::::: .\.\`-,$$"$,?"=$$$$$$$$$$E :::`CCC : .::::::::::::::::: `/ ,,"?$h` =?$,?$$$$$$$$F ::::`CCC ::::::::::::::::::: . J.$$$:$$'d$h,"$ $$$$$$$$'::::::`CC,`::::::::::::::::: :::.`. F`""?;$'d$$$$h J$$$$$$$P :::::::,' `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P,$c$$$$$$$ `$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$",$$$$$$$$F `?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$FF",J$$$$$$$F `"??$$$$$$$???",;d??$$$F".:. : =cddd??" `" . ::::::: .:`.:::: :::::'.::::::::::: Allen Mullen >HOW DOES YOUR STATE RATE? ALABAMA ... Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968. ALASKA ... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license. ARIZONA ... Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time. ARKANSAS ... Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S. CALIFORNIA ... Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world. COLORADO ... In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics. CONNECTICUT ... The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University. DELAWARE ... Has more scientists and engineers than any other state. FLORIDA ... At 759 square miles, Jacksonville is the US's largest city. GEORGIA ... It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola. HAWAII ... Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state. IDAHO ... TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922. ILLINOIS ... The Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick's Day. INDIANA ... Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which get a half million letter to Santa every year. IOWA ... Winnebagos get their name from Winnebago County. Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels. KANSAS ... Liberal, Kansas, has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz. KENTUCKY ... Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox. LOUISIANA ... Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units. MAINE ... It's so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined. MARYLAND ... The Oujia board was created in Baltimore in 1892. MASSACHUSETTS ... The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts. MICHIGAN ... Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world. MINNESOTA ... Bloomington's Mall of America is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days. MISSISSIPPI ... President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here. That's how the teddy bear got its name. MISSOURI ... Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone. MONTANA .. A sapphire from Montana is the Crown Jewels of England. NEBRASKA ... More triplets are born here than in any other state. NEVADA ... Has more hotel rooms than any other place in the world. NEW HAMPSHIRE ... Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper. NEW JERSEY ... Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world. NEW MEXICO ... Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here. NEW YORK ... Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk. NORTH CAROLINA ... Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut. NORTH DAKOTA ... Rigby, North Dakota, is the exact geo- graphic center of North America. OHIO ... The hot dog was invented here in 1900. OKLAHOMA ... The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells. OREGON ... Has the most ghost towns in the country. PENNSYLVANIA ... The smiley, :) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University. RHODE ISLAND ... The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673 SOUTH CAROLINA ... Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm. SOUTH DAKOTA ... Is the only state that's never had an earthquake. TENNESSEE ... Nashville's Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world. TEXAS ... Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885. UTAH ... The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952. VERMONT ... Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's. VIRGINIA ... Home of the world's largest office building... the Pentagon. WASHINGTON ... Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state. WASHINGTON D.C. ... Was the first planned capital in the world. WEST VIRGINIA ... Had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870. WISCONSIN ... The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays. WYOMING ... Was the first state to allow women to vote. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Space Trivia Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spacetrivia.html Noah's Ark! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noahsark2.html Bob Hope's Home! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bobhopehome.html Kilroy Was Here! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html Amazing Photos 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingphotos2.html Amazing Photos 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingphotos3.html Thoughts Into Action 6! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action6.html Cockatoo Story! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cockatoos.html Extreme Pumpkins 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin2.html Bucket List! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bucketlist.html -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) PETA Crashes Biker Party - Almost http://tinyurl.com/andc6xt --- ...Wowsers! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Magic Music http://www.youtube.com/embed/XlyCLbt3Thk?rel=0 --- ...awww, most beautiful! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Karen :) Scary! http://tinyurl.com/lqxlzp5 Factory of umbrellas (Magic show) http://www.youtube.com/embed/_c9z9515YWg Short Walk at the White House (Fantastic) THIS IS REALLY NEAT Be sure to watch this, you'll be glad you did ! http://hawthornephoto.com/walk.htm --- ...Whoa! Impressive! Thanks Karen! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) At first I thought it was a duck swimming, then, watch what happens! You don't have to sign in just click on the link. You will be amazed! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=679974262026397 Andre Rieu - I Will Follow Him http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=FcLF5wopyjo Quick and simple life hacks. Some good tips here: http://www.wimp.com/lifehacks/ Hope For Paws recently rescued a dog from a trash pile and this is the video that shows that rescue as well as what happened afterwards. It’s so heart warming to see the rescued dog get proper care and treatment and to share the love he has been shown. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1Xg2G_oINqc An assortment of 25 Useful Tips to help you get through those everyday annoying problems you might encounter. Some of these tips like tying the extension cords together are fairly well known but could still be a Eureka! moment for someone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ZzjSNBZreDE --- ...Super Videos! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Some McDonald's restaurants are taking reservations on Valentine's Day. They are getting a lot of tables for one." -Conan O'Brien "I'm glad you were able to tear yourselves away from the Winter Olympics. The sporting event that answers the question, How many different ways can white people injure themselves on ice?" -Jimmy Kimmel "The Lego Movie is number 1 at the box office. I saw it. I'm a little disappointed. I liked the first half of the movie but it sort of came apart at the end." -Craig Ferguson "Valentine's Day is weird. A nude flying baby that shoots arrows isn't a holiday. It's a horror movie." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new survey reported that 40 percent of people think it's a good idea to get engaged on Valentine’s Day. The other 60 percent were men." -Conan O'Brien "New York City has this program, stop and frisk. If the cops see anything that they don't care for, they'll frisk you. Now, during Fashion Week, they changed that program to 'stop and embroider.'" -Dave Letterman "I didn't learn to ski until I was 45. Skiing makes me feel like a rugged adventurer. The wind on my cheeks, the ice- crusted goggles, those little mini marshmallows in my cocoa." -Craig Ferguson "After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, 'You mean I've been eating a dangerous chemical?' While most people were like, 'You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'" -Jimmy Fallon "The method preferred by most balding men for making them- selves look silly is called the 'comb-over,' which is when the man grows the hair on one side of his head very long and combs it across the bald area, creating an effect that looks...from the top...like an egg in the grasp of a large tropical spider." --Dave Barry "'Muesli' is not a word we use in America. When we sweep up after we have been doing woodwork and put it in a bag with mixed nuts and a little birdseed, and pretend it's a health- ful breakfast, we call it granola." --Bill Bryson in I'M A STRANGER HERE MYSELF "Scrapie is another excellent word. Scrapie clearly couldn't mean anything but a disease. Though, on reflection, it might be a Scottish cut, as in, 'e fell down and got a wee scrapie on his knee." --Bill Bryson >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************