Happy President's Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hot new page is from our friends LouiseAu and DougC. Perfect one to help you celebrate President's Day with some smiles and perhaps a few chuckles!Be sure check it out here: _ _ _ (_) | | | | _ __ _ __ ___ ___ _ __| | ___ _ __ | |_ ___ | '_ \| '__/ _ \/ __| |/ _` |/ _ \ '_ \| __/ __| | |_) | | | __/\__ \ | (_| | __/ | | | |_\__ \ | .__/|_| \___||___/_|\__,_|\___|_| |_|\__|___/ | | |_| Humor In Politics 18 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics18.html --- ...LOL! Such a riot! Thanks my friends! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .-=========-. \'-=======-'/ _| .=. |_ ((| {{1}} |)) \| /|\ |/ \__ '`' __/ _`) (`_ jgs _/_______\_ /___________\ Botanist Roy Noble had always dreamed of ending world hunger. After years of research, his hard work paid off. He developed a strain of peas that would grow virtually anywhere. It grew fast, kept long without spoiling, and was more nutritious than even soybeans. He was an instant hero, world wide. There were awards and parades, and naturally the new strain of peas was named Noble. After enjoying the fame and fortune for a while, Roy decided he wanted to do more, so he established a fund to award a monetary prize each year to botanists and horticulturists who were making significant contributions to their fields. Thus was born the famous Noble Peas Prize. -<>- A Sunday School teacher was telling the story of the Good Samaritan to her class of 4 and 5 year-olds. She was making it as vivid as possible to keep the children interested in her tale. At one point, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up." -<>- A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month- old baby and her sister's three-month-old baby. Two elderly women approached the mother. "Are they twins?" one asked. "No, they're three months apart." "My! You sure had them close together." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 17 iss President's Day and Random Acts of Kindness Day February 18 is National Battery Day and National Drink Wine Day February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day February 20 is Cherry Pie Day, Hoodie Hoo Day and Love Your Pet Day February 21 is Card Reading Day February 22 is George Washington's Birthday, Be Humble Day, International World Thinking Day, National Margarita Day and Walking the Dog Day February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day and Tennis Day ======================================================= >-->From Mikey'sFunnies: __________________________________________/ ------------------------------------------| | | |~~~~~~~~~~| | | | | *| *|Bless this|* |* | | |_____|_____| ~Home~ |______|______|____| ____________ | _______ | | `| ((()) || || | |] ))o o(( ||_______|| |__________| ((\o/)) |_________| | | /\\_//\ |_==___==_| | |]__.-- //(_ _)\\ ____|_________| | |------ \\\ /// ----|oo o oo| | | | (// \\) *__|| _______ | | \\\\| | * /_____\ _*__||| || | ))) ( oo| |_____| | | | __*__|||_______|| | ( oo \-/|________ | | | __\___|_________| |_ \-/ // \| |_|_| \ // \ \\_| (_) (_) \ \\_| (||| Timmy you stay and help mommy. //\\ ||| (_)(_)(_)_) A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the family room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her dad and said, "It was Mom." "How do you know?" "She didn't say anything." -<>- ____ ____ .-" "-. .-" "-. / `. .' \ | (`-"-`) | | /'Y'\ | ; __\_^_/__ ; \ ()_ >o< _() / `\ ) : ( /' `\ / /-\ \ /' `\ ()/ \() /' jgs `\ /' `\ /' `\ /' Y >BAAAD EXCUSES WHY MEN FORGET A GIFT ON VALENTINE'S DAY ~ The florist couldn't find your house. Did you move? ~ I sent a candy-gram. Someone must have eaten it. ~ The Hallmark store was closed, and I didn't want to send less than the very best. ~ I sent an e-mail card. You never got it? Google must have messed up again! ~ I didn't know you liked jewelry. ~ I thought we would do something different this year. ~ You didn't remind me. -<>- _ _ ( \/ ) .---. \ / .-"-. / 6_6 \/ / 4 4 \ \_ (__\ \_ v _/ // \\ // \\ (( )) (( )) =======""===""========""===""======= jgs ||| ||| | | >THE VALENTINE'S DAY TEN COMMANDMENTS I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt have no other squeeze before me. II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth her behind her back. III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy--or else. IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are just too weird. V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily or cause undue embarrassment when I am with thee. VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it least you be smitten from the earth. VII. Thou shalt not steal from my wallet/purse while I am in the bath, nor use my credit cards. VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends. IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor's house without first puttin' down the remote and learnin' how to use a paintbrush! X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's main Squeeze, nor his son, nor his daughter, nor his stereo, nor his BMW, nor anything else that belongs to thy neighbor. -<>- Little Emily was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, "Why did the lady change her mind?" Her mother asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, she went down the aisle with one man and came back with another one." ========================================================= .-'~"-. / `- \ /> `. -.| /_ '-.__) |- _.' \ | `~~; \\ / \\) jgs '.___.-'`" >-->President's Day SMILES: Q: Which one of Washington's officers had the best sense of humor? A: Laughayette! Q: Why did they call Lincoln "Honest Abe"? A: Because that's what it said on all his campaign buttons. Q: What would you get if you crossed a whale with the first US president? A: Large Washington! Q: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? A: Because he couldn't lie. Q: Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? A: At the chopping mall! Q: What do you call George Washington's false teeth? A: Presidentures! Q: What was General Washington's favorite tree? A: The infantry! Q: In what way was George Washington like a monster? A: In no way, thankfully! Q: What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character? A: George Washingtoon! Q: Was General Washington a handsome man? A: Yes, he was George-eous! Q: What would George Washington be if he were alive today? A: Really, really, really old! Q: Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? A: He committed Valley Forgery! Q: How did George Washington speak to his army? A: In general terms! __-----__ ..;;;--'~~~`--;;;.. /;-~IN GOD WE TRUST~-.\ // ,;;;;;;;; \\ .// ;;;;; \ \\ || ;;;;( /.| || || ;;;;;;; _\ || || ';; ;;;;= || ||LIBERTY | ''\;;;;;; || \\ ,| '\ '|><| 1995 // \\ | | \ A // `;.,|. | '\.-'/ ~~;;;,._|___.,-;;;~' ''=--' - Daniel C Au - Q: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth U.S. president? A: Ape Lincoln! Q: Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard? A: He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill. Q: What rock group has four guys who don't sing? A: Mount Rushmore! Q: What would you get if you crossed Washington's home with nasty insects? A: Mt. Vermin! Q: What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? A: The Fodder of Our Country! Q: What was Thomas Jefferson's favorite dessert? A: Monti jello! Q: Teacher: "Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?" A: Student: "I think it was Thomas Jeffer's son." Q: What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger? A: Babe Lincoln! Q: How did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil? A: After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! Q: Teacher: "John, do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?" A: Student: "No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!" Q: Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat? A: To keep his head warm! Q: What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell? A: Abraham Stincoln! Q: Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin? A: Because it was too cold to be born outside! Q: Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone? A: They're both on the (s)cent! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .--------------------------------. \\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\\ \\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\___\\ \\\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\__/\\ \\\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\\___^___^___^___^___^___^___^___\\ \`--------------------------------' \______________________________/ VK >hings That Can Drive A Sane Person Insane: · There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray. · The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper that never works. · You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic tag in the middle of them. · The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle. · The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on. · There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address. · You open a can of soup and the lid falls in. · There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING! · You can never put anything back in a box the way it came. · Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth. · You slice your tongue licking an envelope. · Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading. · A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away. · You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint. · The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing. · A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling. · You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7 PM instead of 7 am. · You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out. · Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire and fog up when you enter a warm place from a cold place. · You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it. --- ...LOL! No Kidding! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b >What Your Computer Is Trying To Tell You: It says: "Press Any Key" It means: "Press any key you like but I'm not moving." It says: "Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error no. 1A4-2546512430E" It means: "... where you will be kept on hold for 30 minutes, only to be told that it's a hardware problem." It says: "Installing program to C:\...." It means: "... And I'll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system32 where you'll NEVER find them." It says: "Please insert disc 3" It means: "Because I know there are only 2 discs." It says: "Not enough memory" It means: "I don't CARE if you've got 8GB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K." It says: "Cannot read from drive D:...." It means: "... However, if you put the CD in right side up..." It says: "Please Wait...." It means: "... Indefinitely." It says: "Folder does not exist...." It means: ".... any more. Whoops." It says: "The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close." It means: "....Makes no difference to me, you're still not getting your work back. Kiss your afternoon goodbye..." --- ...HaHA! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- . .:::. .:::::::. V^V^V^V^V^V (| ^ ^ |) | (_) | `//=\\' (((())) )))(( (()))) ))(( (() )) ( jgs >STRANGE & COMPLETELY USELESS INFORMATION A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. A snail can sleep for three years. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age. Butterflies taste with their feet. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10. February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon. If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction. In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. Leonardo DiVinci invented the scissors. No word in the English language rhymes with month. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'. "Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand, "lollipop" with your right. The cruise liner, QE2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns. The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with. The words 'racecar' and kayak' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at a red light., In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch face, is 10:'0. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, otherwise it will digest itself. There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs five times, "indivisibility." The Bible does not say there were three wise men; it only says there were three gifts. Did you know that crocodiles never outgrow the pool in which they live? That means that if you put a baby croc in an aquarium, it would be little for the rest of its life. A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle; a group of geese in the air is a skein. A 'jiffy' is an actually unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Pinocchio is Italian for "pine eye". The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable". Barbie's full name is Barbara Milicent Roberts. It's impossible to lick your elbow. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call. Rats and horses can't vomit. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language..........try it! Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. In the course of an average lifetime, you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders. (I didn't know that!!) Most lipstick contains fish scales. Cat's urine glows under a black light. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. The winter of 1948 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid. --- ...TeeHee! No. I didn't vet them all but seem true! Thanks LouiseAu! That last one I know is true - Other years, it was only partially frozen. here is a page on it... Niagara Falls Frozen http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/niagarafalls.html ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: _ _( ) ( ) ) _ ( _) ( ) ( ( ) ( ) _ ,-. _ ) ) ( ( ( ,-''' )_( ```-.,' ) `-( ) ) ( __|`-..._______...-'|__ ( ) [=== |==] ____(___ __,.--. | |__,-_''.------.``_-.-''__,.--' | | (( ))-' /| | | \`-...______...-'/ / / | `-..._______...-' `-...______...-' / / | / /`- ,-----. -' `- ,----. -' / / | / /___________________________________/ / | `---------------------------------------' | | _jrei____________________________ | | | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | | | | |___-_-___-___-_-___-_-_____-_-___| | | | (___________________________________) | We all know time is money, so anything to save time and effort is a money-saver. Not to mention saving yourself from spraying those expensive cleaners all over the place every other day. So here is a clever and simple way to keep your stove sparkling clean longer. * Wax your stove top. After washing with your preferred cleaner, make sure the surface is dry and then apply a layer of car wax. The stove sparkles and remains resistant to food stains. Chances are you already have car wax in your house and the little bit of extra effort will make your stove top a breeze to wipe clean. --- ...Just be sure not to use the petroleum based ones. You don't want a stove fire. O have Oak paneling so use them to give a healthy shine that preserves and protects with less work and mess. * Add some baking soda to your stove top... Scrub your stove top with a paste of baking soda and water. Baking soda will not scratch painted or enamel surfaces, but it is still gritty enough to scour baked on food. And at 99 cents a box you will save yourself a few bucks on expensive cleaners. --- ...They say Patience is a virtue. It Sure is with baked on food on a stove top. I use a sponge and soak the stove top area making sure not to get water where it shouldn't be. I go about cleaning other things and come back with a dry sponge to clean the stove up. It is easy to sponge up the water and wipe dry with a towel. All clean with little or no scrubbing. What I like. :) -<>- >'Go Green' Hint: Become a vampire killer The number of electronics and appliances in American homes and offices that have stand-by modes, always on displays and controls, or devices are connected to the Internet 24/7, has proliferated. That are called 'energy vampires' because they are surreptitiously but constantly sucking power, little by little. The first and most obvious step toward minimizing this effect is to unplug devices when they are not in use, such as during the night or when the home's occupants are away for any lengthy period. Another option is to plug energy vampires, such as game consoles, entertainment systems or computers, into smart power strips, which employ timers and sensors that turn devices off completely until their next use. Most electronics retailers sell them. Some local utilities provide discounts, or even rebates on utility bills, to customers who buy and use them. Check with yours! --- ...One thing that you may not have suspected is your Microwave. I accidentally discovered our Microwave was using a lot of energy when it is displaying the time left to cook and waiting for me to continue. We have an old house and have to watch which appliances are used together at certain outlet areas or we will pop the circuit breaker. I wasn't using the microwave which can't be used with the toaster or the garbage disposal - at least I didn't think I was since it wasn't running. But it was waiting for me to hit start to continue cooking. I just didn't think anything of it and used my garbage disposal only to blow a fuse - pop our circuit breaker. So if your energy efficient Microwave is waiting for you to continue cooking - Just remember, it is still a big vampire! Push the button to make it stop sucking up your electricity! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Trump Tells NASCAR Crowd to Remember "God, Family & Country" at Daytona 500 - Trump acted as the grand marshal of the 62nd annual Daytona 500 in Florida, praising Gold Star families, and reminding NASCAR fans that "what matters most is God, family, and country.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BexgnjhWkew Judge Jeanne Pirro and Trump on Fox... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lycM1h8dt68 Great American Comeback! President Trump Delivers 3rd State of the Union https://www.whitehouse.gov Once again, President Trump puts veterans FIRST President Trump took a major step to support veterans and military spouses by signing the Supporting Veterans in STEM Careers Act. https://tinyurl.com/rnqkp4h How Ivanka Trump and W-GDP helped 12 million women in one year This month marks one year since President Trump launched the Women’s Global Development and Prosperity Initiative, also known as W-GDP. With major support from Ivanka Trump, W-GDP addresses the lack of economic freedom that women face globally The idea is simple: When women are economically empowered, they reinvest that wealth in their families and communities. The ripple effect spurs more inclusive growth still—and often brings peace and stability with it. https://tinyurl.com/u77rdz8 Trump Admin Under Attack at Record Pace State attorneys general have filed an unprecedented number of lawsuits against the Trump administration, as Democratic-led states exercise new levers of power to block some of President Trump’s most controversial initiatives. https://tinyurl.com/rt4wtz3 Huge: More ‘Better Off' Under Trump than Clinton, Bush, and Obama -Washington Examiner A record 61% of Americans say they are better off now than they were before President Trump took office 3 years ago, according to a new Gallup poll. “What’s more, people give Trump much more credit for the improved economy than former President Barack Obama, [whose] supporters have been claiming credit,” Paul Bedard reports. https://tinyurl.com/rc4wbcc A Racist Video of Michael Bloomberg Will Leave You Speechless https://tinyurl.com/w44ak7y Westwing News: Sanctuary Cities Undermine the Law https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ TrumpWomenDaily: Melania Spends V-Day with Children of NIH https://tinyurl.com/rme9ff8 Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Noodles, Chocolate, Cheese, Nuts http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: Allergens Found in Chocolates http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: An unlucky-in-love Kansas man is offering a $25,000 reward for setting him up on a date that leads to his having a girlfriend. Jeff Gebhart, 47, of Prairie Village, said he came up with his unusual dating scheme after some failed attempts at online dating following his last break-up. "I saw the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results, so I knew I couldn't go back to online dating," Gebhart told local news. Gebhart enlisted the help of some friends to create datejeffg.com, a website that attempts to use surveys with personality analytics to find him a compatible date. People who suggest women for Gebhart to date on the website could win $25,000 if he ends up in a relationship with their suggested woman. Women who suggest themselves on the site are not eligible to win the money, but they will be considered for dates, he said. -<>- NO PHONES USE WHILE DRIVING - Here's Another reason why... Have you ever heard someone described as having a pole up their bottom? Usually it means uptight, stuck-up or snobbish, but in the case of this story it means the woman was a bad driver, because she ended up with a pole stuck up her bottom. The Colorado woman says she was texting and driving when she hit a pole that went through her car, piercing her thigh and buttocks. Elizabeth firefighters had to saw off the front and back end of the pole to get the woman out. Christina Jahnz says she was in the parking lot of Elizabeth Middle School to deliver her daughter's saxophone, which had been left at home. As she was driving away from the school, Jahnz started texting her friend. "I was running late for a business meeting, so I did a voice text. I looked down to make sure it was all right. The next thing I knew, I was looking up, there was white powder from the air bags deployed," Jahnz said. Then, Jahnz realized that the guardrail pole went through the front of her truck, through her buttocks and into the back of her seat. Elizabeth firefighters rushed to the scene, where she says they used a saw to cut the front and back end of the pole before rushing her to the hospital. "I went into surgery and I lost count of the stitches after 40. They stitched me up inside too. I'm truly a miracle. They said if it gone just a little bit the other way I would have bled out," Jahnz said. Jahnz was released after a four-day stay in the hospital. She will be able to get around with the help of a walker and is expected to make a full recovery. Jahnz says even though she was going 20 mph and looked down for only a split second, she has learned a lesson she will never forget. *--- Who brings a machete to McDonald's? A Florida man is in critical condition after he was attacked by another man with a machete. Pinellas Park Police responded to the McDonald's around 11 p.m. after they were called about a fight. They say two men who knew each other got into an altercation and a man, later identified as Devin Quarterman, hit the other with a machete. The victim was taken to a local hospital where he is listed in critical condition. Quarterman ran away from the McDonald's but police were able to arrest him the following day. Quarterman is charged with attempted first-degree murder, according to Pinellas Park Police. *--- Another Chinese Import ---* U.S. Customs and Border Protection intercepted a package of tiny dead birds from a passenger's bag at Dulles International Airport. The traveler arrived to D.C. on a flight from Beijing, China. During a baggage examination, agriculture specialists discovered a package containing several small birds. The carrier said the birds were cat food. The species of the birds is unknown, but they are banned in the U.S. from China because of their potential to carry bird flu. The package was destroyed on behalf of the U.S. Department of Agriculture by border protection agriculture specialists. During a typical day last year, CBP agriculture specialists across the nation seized 4,695 prohibited plant, meat, animal byproduct and soil, and intercepted 314 insect pests at U.S. ports of entry, according to a Customs and Border Patrol press release. *--- Marriage proposal spotted on Google Earth ---* A German farmer's unusual marriage proposal involving a corn field and a camera drone had an unexpected side effect -- it's visible on Google Earth. Steffen Schwarz said an experience helping someone else plant a corn maze gave him the idea to grow corn into the shape of the words "Will you marry me?" in his field in the Huettenberg area of Hesse. Schwartz said he waited for the corn to grow and then asked his girlfriend to use a camera drone to check the are for wild boar. The woman spotted the proposal on the drone's camera and turned to Shwartz, who presented her with the ring when she accepted. Schwartz said he was surprised to later learn his proposal had been spotted on Google Earth by curious Internet users. He said his aunt, who lives in Canada, sent him a screenshot of the satellite camera photo after she spotted it online. *--- Officer records birth in middle of traffic ---* A Utah police officer's body camera was recording when he ended up delivering a baby in the middle of rush hour traffic. West Valley Police Officer Jeremy Dean said he was on patrol when a nearby truck stopped in the middle of morning rush hour traffic and a man came out of the vehicle to flag down Dean's patrol vehicle. Dean said the man quickly informed him that his wife was in labor inside the vehicle and the baby would not wait until they arrived at the hospital. Traffic came to a standstill while Dean donned a pair of gloves and helped the woman deliver her baby. The incident was recorded by Dean's body camera. An ambulance arrived on the scene to take the mother and baby to the hospital, and Dean said he then took on the duty of directing traffic to get vehicles moving again. ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: __ ___ (_ ) / _) ,\_' '_; .-.-. _, .-.-. /| _\ \ \ / /_ |\ ` \/\_| '--,. ' |/\_/ ' | _ ;_ ;_ | ,.\\/_) < /.)`, \ | `-/ \ | |/ o o o | | \ | | \\_ ,-_-_ _' [n4biS] >What Are We Doing In Here Anyway? Two skeletons used by the professor of anatomy found themselves stowed away in a dusty closet. After several weeks of boredom one turned to the other and asked, "What are we doing shut up in here anyway?" "Got me," admitted his companion. "If we had any guts we'd bust out of here." -<>- >Now That's Really Sick An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: "I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick." On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: "Well, just how sick are you?" "Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!" -<>- >For Love or Memory AN OLDER WOMAN runs into her friend at the mall. "You're not going to believe this," she said. "I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out. He explained that genies don't give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover ever." "Tough choice," said her friend. "Which one did you choose?" "That's the thing. I can't remember." -<>- >A Romantically Punny Food Poem Cabbage always has a heart; Green beans string along. You're such a cute tomato, Will you peas to me belong? You've been the apple of my eye, You know how much I care; So lettuce get together, We'd make a perfect pear. Now, something's sure to turnip to prove you can't be beet; So, if you carrot all for me let's let our tulips meet. Don't squash my hopes and dreams now, Bee my honey, dear; Or tears will fill potato's eyes, While sweet corn lends an ear. I'll cauliflower shop and say, Your dreams are parsley mine. I'll work and share my celery, So be my valentine! -<>- _.._ .-" "-. / ,- -. \ : ' o o ` ; ; . , : : :-.__.-: ; \ :_: :_: / `-._ _.-' bug "" >Q and A Quickies Q: Did you hear about the bed bugs who fell in love? A: They're getting married in the spring! Q: What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love? A: "I found the perfect match!" Q: How did the phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? A: He gave her a ring. _____ .-'` '. __/ __ \ / \ / \ | ___ | /`\| /`\| | .-' /^\/^\ | \(/| \(/| |/ |) |)| .-\__/ \__/ | \_/\_/__..._ _...---'-. / _ '. /, , \ '| `\ \ | )) )) /`| \ `. /) /) | | ` ` .' | `-._ / \ .' | ,_ `--....-' `. __.' , | / /`'''` `'-.____.-' / /, | / / `. `-.-` .' \ / / | `-.__.'| \ | | |-. _.._| | / | | `'. .-''`` | | | / | `-. .'` / / / | | '. /` / / | / |\ \ / | | | | /\ | || | / | / '. | |\ \ | / | '. / \ `. '. / | \ '---'/ \ '. `-./ \ '. / '. `'. `-._ '.__ '-._____.'--'''''--. '-. `'--._ `.__ `';----` \ `-. `-. `."'``` ; `'-..,_ `-. `'-. / jgs '. '. '. .' Q: What do snakes put on their kitchen floors? A: Rep-tiles! Q: What did the clock say to the watch? A: Tock to you later. Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ... {@} * {@} {@} * {@} * {@} : * {@} * {@} * .; {@} * {@} * {@} * {@} * ; * ; {@} * ; * : ;\ \ \ \| / / /; \\ \ Y/ / / `_\ |/ _' / \\Y// \ ( ,-}={-, ) \_//((\_/ //))(\ (/ )) (( valkyrie \) There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there's me. One day I couldn't stand it any longer. "Why don't you ever bring me flowers?" I asked. "What's the point?" my husband said. "They die after about a week." "So could you," I shot back, "but I still like having you around." -<>- An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, "I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had." The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then she said, "I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity." The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders. The elderly woman then stated," I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine." This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the living room his wife asked, "Was it something I said, where are you going?" The old man looked at her and replied, "I'm going to the bathroom to get my teeth!" -<>- ___.-----.______ ___.-----'::::::::::::::::`---.___ _.--._ (:::;,-----'~~~~~`----::::::::::.. `-. _ .'_---. `--.__ `~~' `~`--.:::::`.. `.. ; `-.____.-' ' {0} ` `--._`---.____ `:::::::: : :: :_^ ~ `--.___ `----.__`----.____ ~::::::.`;': :`--.__,-----.___( `---.___ `---.___ `----.___ ~|;:,' : | `-.___,---.____ _, ._ `----.____ `----.__ `-----.___;--' ; : `---' `. `._ `)) , , , `----.____.----.____ --' :| / `,--.\ `.` ` ` ` , , , _.-- `-----'|' _.~~~~~~._____ __./'_/' : .:----.___ ` ` ` `` .-' , , :::' ///--\; ____ : :' ____`---.___.--:: , ` ` ::' `' _.' ( /______ ( `-._ `-._,-' () () .-' __.-// /_______---' `-._ `. * *(o)' ~~~ ///// `' ~~~~~~ ~~ ______; ::. `\ )( /* `'`' /_______ _.' {()} , ~~~ ~~~~~~~~ /___.---' --__ !| ` ~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five- year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator. Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator." To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no! Don't shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son's picture on his back." -<>- When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?!' -<>- A young man who had recently moved out on his own called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother said, "Why don't you send her a nice note and invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. "The evening was a disaster," he moaned. "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother. "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook." -<>- ___ .' \ | .--.| |(`--'| /\`'`'|_ / `::' `. / \ | | | \ _ \ \_ | .\__.--' \ .----|\ `---<\// | \ |`+'_| `.___|._./\| | \ `.|' |' \ `| | \ _/ `.( ))---/`-.__|_.--'--`. ((_ /\ .' `-/._ `. `-._ `-._ /\\`-./\ >-' / `-.`-. `-. _.---\ ` '__`_-( (-._ .J_ `-.`-. | (##) >. ` // \\ )_ `-.F `-.__ `-.`. |__.--' \ ` `\_//`'._`-.J `--.__ `-`. _.-) ' `--.__`-| `-.__>----'.-' `--`--.__ _.-')__.-'``. .-. `--._.-'-'"" ``._//_)) ` ` --'--\\ ._ ` ` _____.' ' `-.`- \\ //)\ ' ' `-._ .' .' ' `--' VK A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy or blizzard conditions should take: - Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag - Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves - 24 hours supply of food and drink - De-icer - 5 lbs of rock salt - flashlight with spare batteries - Road flares and reflective triangles - Tow rope - 5 gallon gas can - First aid kit - Jump cables I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning. -<>- A Baptist pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Asking questions during children's sermons is crucial. Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him And the little boy said, "I'm not sure, but I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor." ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: _____ / \ Hmmm...where did I see (____/\ ) that toilet roll? ...... |___ U?(____ _\L. | \ ___ / /"""\ /.-' | |\ | ( / _/u | \___|_)_| \| \\ / / \_(___ __) | \\ / / | | | | ) _/ / ) | | _\__/.-' /___( | | _/ __________/ \ | | // / ( ) | | ( \__|___\ \______ /__|____| \ (___\ |______)_/ \ |\ \ \ / \ | \__ ) )___/ \ \ )/ /__( ___ | /_//___| \_________ _/ ( / OUuuu \ `----'(____________) Michael Reeung >Just Think About This! Like a fence, character cannot be strengthened by whitewash. ~~~-- American Proverb ================= WISDOM Saying nothing... sometimes says the most. -- Emily Dickinson, ================= Why not be oneself? That is the whole secret of a successful appearance. If one is a greyhound, why try to look like a Pekinese? -- Edith Sitwell, British Poet ================ "There are plenty of rules for attaining success, but none of them work unless you do!" -- Mark Twain ================ Don't cry over today, tomorrow could be worse. ================ Experience is the ability to recognize a mistake when you do it again. ================ Onion breath is only a problem for others. ================ It's easy enough to be pleasant When life goes by like a song. But the man worthwhile Is the man who can smile When everything goes dead wrong. ================= "If someone betrays you once, it is his fault. If he betrays you twice, it is your fault." -- Eleanor Roosevelt ================== "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself." -- Eleanor Roosevelt ================== "Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand." -- Anonymous -<>- >May I Have Iced Tea Please? Richard ran into Judi working at a restaurant that claimed they had only Raspberry iced tea. Curiously enough, though, they did have Lipton HOT tea. So, Richard asked if the waitress would bring him a tall glass with ice cubes, but before bringing it to him, would she be so kind as to put 1.5 tablespoons of sugar in his Lipton's HOT tea, and pour it over the ice cubes. Judi did. Twice. Before she caught on and begged him not to tell the manager since "regular" iced tea wasn't on the menu. -<>- &&& && && &&&&. &&& .&&&&& && &&& &&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&& & &` && && .&&&&& &&&; &8 .&&&: && &` & && 8&& & `& && && .&_ oO_&.-.-. && ( __ -/--' &&~ .'-__-'& &&&~`'\`& &&&~` _& &&&&` && &&8&&&& &&&&&&& & &&&&&&& &&;&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&& ~~~ .~~~~~ `&&&&&&&&& ~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~;!&&&&&&&&&&~/~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~\~~~~&/` \`~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ `~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ BP >Daffynitions Words you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask the meaning of... 1. Abdicate - v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 2. Carcinoma - n. A valley in California, notable for its heavy smog. 3. Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. 4. Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie. 5. Lymph - v To walk with a lisp. 6. Gargoyle - n., an olive-flavored mouthwash. 7. Bustard - n., a very rude Metrobus driver. 8. Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon. 9. Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Semantics - n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers. 12. Marionettes - n., residents of Washington D.C. who have been jerked around by the mayor. 13. Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. -<>- /| , ,/// /| // // ,/// // // // // // // || || || || // // || || // // || || // // || || || || \\,\|,|\_// \\)\)\\|/ )-."" .-( //^\` `/^\\ // | | \\ ,/_| 0| _ | 0|_\, /` `"=.v.="` `\ /` _."{_,_}"._ `\ jgs `/` ` \ ||| / ` `\` `",_ \\=^~^=// _,"` "=,\'-=-'/,=" '---' >Love: Before and After BEFORE - You take my breath away. AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating. BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation. AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac. BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever AFTER - Monday Night Football BEFORE - Is that all you're having? AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey. BEFORE - $60/doz. AFTER - $1.50/stem BEFORE - We agree on everything. AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own? BEFORE - Charming and Noble AFTER - Chernobyl BEFORE - Idol AFTER - Idle BEFORE - He's completely lost without me. AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions? BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino AFTER - Bagel and instant BEFORE - Oysters AFTER - Fishsticks -<>- __ /\/'-, ,--''''' /" ____,'. ) \___ '"""""------'"""`-----' pb >Letters To God From Dogs! **Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities? **Dear God, When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? **Dear God, Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle! **Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? **Dear God, When my foster mom's friend comes over to our house, he smells like musk! What's he been rolling around in? **Dear God, Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps? **Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good or bad? **Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. **Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? **Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? **Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets, or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street! **Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? **Dear God, Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpets again? **Dear God, When my family eats dinner they always bless their food. But they never bless mine. So, I've been wagging my tail extra fast when they fill my bowl. Have you noticed my own blessing? **Dear God, I've always lived at the shelter and I have everything I need. But many of the cats here have names and I don't. Could you give me a name please? It would be good for my self-esteem. **Dear God, The new terrier I live with just peed on the Oriental rug and I have a feeling my family might blame me 'cuz they think I'm jealous of this stupid dog. Since they have no sense of smell, how can I convince them I'm innocent? Does Petsmart sell lie detectors? ~~~~From Pets' letters to God, Mark Bricklin translator~~~~~ -<>- _|_ | / \ //_\\ //(_)\\ |/^\| ,%%%% // \\ ,@@@@@@@, ,%%%%/%%% // \\ ,@@@\@@@@/@@, @@@%%%\%%//%%%// === \\ @@\@@@/@@@@@ @@@@%%%%\%%%%%// =-=-= \\@@@@\@@@@@@;%#####, @@@@%%%\%%/%%// === \\@@@@@@/@@@%%%######, @@@@@%%%%/%%//| |\\@\\//@@%%%%%%#/#### '@@@@@%%\\/%~ | | ~ @|| %\\//%%%#####; @@\\//@|| | __ __ | || %%||%%'###### '@|| || | | | | | || ||##\//#### || || | | -|- | | || ||'#||###' || || |_|__|__|_| || || || || ||_/` ======= `\__||_._|| || jgs__||_/` ======= `\_||___ >There They Go Again (An Inspirational From Aiken) As Christians, it is our responsibility to be a witness to our neighbors but, also, to let our witness show by our faithfulness the family of God and the house of God every opportunity we can. As our neighbors watch us leave on Sunday morning, they will say "There they go again." As our neighbors watch us leave Sunday evening, they will say "There they go again." As our neighbors watch us leave on Wednesday evening, they will say "There they go again." One day, when the trumpet of God sounds and God steps out onto the portals of Heaven to say, "Come up hither" our neighbors can look out their window saying, "There they go again." -<>- . .. __..---/______//-----. (( ) .".--.```| - /.--. =: ( VROOM! )) (.: {} :__L______: {} :__; __--( __- -_= ) *--* *--* jnh >WWJD..... Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But according to Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, the initials really mean, "What would Jesus drive?" One of Ostler's readers theorized that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But then Roy Rivenburg jumped into the fray, saying in his online humor column "Off-Kilter" (http://www.offkilter.org) that in Psalm 83, "the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.'" Rivenburg goes on to postulate that God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because "Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain until 'the Ram's horn sounds a long blast.'" Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells a crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Ostler has discovered that Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." -<>- ___ __ ___ __ / __|/ _` \ \ /\ / / \__ \ (_| |\ V V / |___/\__,_| \_/\_/ >You Big Bully! An old lady watched two Canadians -- one huge and the other very tiny -- cutting down a tree with a crosscut saw. Finally, she could stand it no longer and she started forward, fire in her eyes, "You big bully," she yelled, "give it to the little fella if he wants it!" ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Hubby To-Do's!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hubby.html Doormat Humor!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/doormat.html Revenge Parking!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/revengeparking.html Over The Limit 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/overthelimit2.html Pet Confessions 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/petconfessions2.html Morons at Work 6!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork6.html Weird Old Vehicles!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldvehicles.html Old US City Photos!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/uscities.html Life's Little Oops 14!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops14.html Old Trains And Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trainsandcars.html Tips For Dog Owners!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogfacts.html Eye Catching Humor!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eyecatching.html Look Who's Talking 15!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking15.html Creative Bathroom Signs!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/toiletsigns.html- Right Angle Photography 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto2.html MacGyver - How To Do It 7!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/macgyver7.html Trump - Making America Great Again!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trumpposters.html -<>- Wildlife Photography: The Never-Ending Season https://tinyurl.com/sjqguk3 -<>- >From Our Friend Victor :) The left making fun of President Trump https://tinyurl.com/tlyrlrg AND Of Course President Trump called them out on it and said it was a FAKE photo - and of course - it was. --- ...Thanks Victor! They like to pick on him because he supports Conservatives and religious freedom - which they can't stand. -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A small group of Elk in Yellowstone National Park face off against a wolf pack in this battle for survival. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnCQxW5_fPw Guards are supposed to perform their duty precisely, ceremoniously and without showing any emotion, but once in a while something unexpected happens.... https://youtu.be/27GPw4stUao These people in Germany are treated to an awesome live performance of the classic rock song Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9R8uzCXS10 --- ...Wowsers! Love these! Thanks LouiseAu! An interesting look at how social media and mobile devices have taken control of many people's lives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IW3y3x6o_g --- ...So sad but true! Making people addicted! Thanks LouiseAu! People use social media but don't understand that social media Companies are Using them! They are billionaires - yet pay their workers, imported often from other countries, as little as they can get away with. They are greedy and do not care about you or your rights or your privacy. Unless you take extra steps on your Facebook account for instance, anyone can copy your photos that you post. So pedophiles or stalkers or rapers or identity thieves can do whatever they want with your photos and you'd be hard pressed to be able to even know what they were doing with them on the dark web. Scary to say the least! These social media companies like to steer you toward their ideology using what is called algorithms. But as a programmer, I know it is so simple for them to do without you even knowing you are being manipulated. Just like a video or computer game where you are taken to certain levels or earn certain points or weapons or prices for doing certain things. Just normal programing. That is the same with these social media programs. Easy to do what is now called 'Shadow Banning' - which is limiting you or your followers by simple 'if then' type old school programs. 'If' you post this or that or whatever they deem against their ideology or views, 'then' limit access to you by not displaying your posts to all your followers but only to a third of them or whatever they want to do. It is automatic and they can do it behind the scenes for all members. They also control the 'purse strings' or how much money which they now refer to monetizing on sites or videos. They can limit ads or completely drop users from being able to have ads simply by saying they violated their user terms when all they are really saying is that they don't like what is being posted because it is against their views by being Christian or Conservative. They are now more into getting rid of those that don't agree with them than about being business partners with them. That was made evident when the Google CEO's were wringing their hands at a corporate meeting after Trump won in 2016 lamenting about how they should have done more to promote Hillary. People have little recourse to be able to fight against big billion- dollar companies like Google. So they get away with about whatever they want to. I am praying that someone will come up with a fair company for monetizing these websites like mine and videos the left hates so that we all have a proper mix of viewpoints. Not all left leaning. Some websites don't stand a chance on the web unless they favor the far left. -<>- From the classic 1950s talk show 'You Bet Your Life' here is an assortment of funny moments from great wit Groucho Marx. https://youtu.be/ue2aARtH-a8 --- ...Always A Card! Thanks LouisseAu! We have a page on him here... Groucho Marx Quotes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/groucho.html ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Doritos is reportedly looking into launching a so-called lady-friendly chip that doesn't crunch as loudly. Because there's no more appropriate snack for the #MeToo era than a chip that tells women to be quiet." -Seth Meyers "A new study found that the amount of man-made heat that's absorbed by the ocean has doubled since 1997. The main source of that heat? That kid who's waist deep at the beach with that weird smile on his face." -Jimmy Fallon "I read today Best Buy and Target are planning to stop selling CDs in their stores. To which I say: Best Buy and Target are still selling CDs? For those too young to remember, CDs were these shiny discs that would get scratched almost immediately and would sit in a binder of the back seat of the car until you sold the car." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new survey reported that 40 percent of people think it's a good idea to get engaged on Valentine's Day. The other 60 percent were men." -Conan O'Brien "On Valentine's Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don't need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he's going to hump your leg." -Jimmy Kimmel "The trend this year is couples saying they don't need to get each other anything for Valentine's Day, because they love each other EVERY day. I think that's sweet, but to all the guys out there watching, I just want to say it's a trap!" -Jimmy Fallon Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a year's supply of shampoo. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles. >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************