Happy President's Day!... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This hot tottie comes from our friend Brenda. We get lots of car picture pages but few of these so this one is for all those people who appreciate trucks and truck shows. A great selection of trucks for your viewing pleasure. Give it time to load... ..-------------------.__ .'_______ `-. // .-----.\.--------..--------.\ ||' __'|| || || || __ ||' .=(_ )|| ====== || ==.| ||( _) ||'| \\||________||________||// ||'------\) ,--======\\======-._/ ____|| |/ = = `-. _____________ ||'==. || ...... = = `-. `=============`|| ||_ /////.--. = = `. .--. | .---. || | .----|==| \ \ \ \|==| | .' `. || | .' '--'. |-. | | .-|'--'`. .' \ || .' `. |-.'-|=|-'.-| \ / .-==-. \|| / _.----. \ |-.'-|=|-'.-| | | .' .---. `. ||| .-' .---. `. | |-.'-|=|-'.-| | | / .`.- -.`. \ '\_`---- / .`.- -.`. \ | ' '-|=|-' '_____/ [|_|/ / _ \ \|__________| / / _ \ \ `_____.......-----'_____] ; : / \ : ;'----------'; : / \ : ;[_____.......-----'; : : ; \_/ ; : \ / / ; : \_/ ; : \ \ / / \ \ / /. `- -` . \ \ / / LGB . `- -` . . `- -` . `-----` . `- -` . `-----` `-----` `-----` Trucks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trucks.html --- ...Sweet! Surprised at all the good looking oldies here! Thanks Brenda! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: The Cynic's Guide to Life 1. Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill. _ ___ \.\'.\ 2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses. \'\'.\ Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee. __\.\:/_// {{{{{(__(") 3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. jgs `~~~~ >>>^ Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone. 4. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them. 5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. .--. 6. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. _/aa/ \ It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end (T_, \_/ , of his chain and gag himself. )="`------.)) o| / / 7. It's always darkest before the dawn. .' \ /__\ (\ So if you're going to steal _.' |\ \ _/ / \ the neighbors's newspaper, jgs ..-`"` (_(_/ (__/(_/ that's the time to do it. 8. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up. 9. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down. 10. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbors's car. 11. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot. 12. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. It's a lot cheaper than plastic surgery. 13. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land. 14. Love is like a roller coaster: When it's good you don't want to get off and when it isn't, you can't wait to throw up. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 18 is National Battery Day February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day February 20 is Hoodie Hoo DayMore Info on Hoodie Hoo Day February 21 is Card Reading Day February 22 is Be Humble Day February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day ======================================================= >-->From Our Friends KarenF And Johanna :) _ _.-'`-._ _ ;.'________'.; _________n.[____________].n_________ |""_""_""_""||==||==||==||""_""_""_""] |"""""""""""||..||..||..||"""""""""""| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| |.. .. .. ..||..||..||..||.. .. .. ..| |LI LI LI LI||LI||LI||LI||LI LI LI LI| ,,;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;;,;;,;;;,;;;,;;,, ;;jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; >HAPPY PRESIDENT'S DAY! A Few Quirky Facts George Washington had numerous sets of dentures, including a pair made out of hippopotamus bone. He never had wooden teeth though, that is just a myth. Thomas Jefferson had a very populist, "common man" view of the presidency. He thought that his predecessors had acted too much like royalty and wanted to remove any pretentions from the office. He would horrify foreign dignitaries by greeting them in his pajamas. James Monroe was the last president who was part of the Revolutionary War era. He still liked to dress in late 18th century attire when he was president from 1817 to 1825. Many people found this bizarre. It would be like Barack Obama wearing a 1970's afro. John Quincy Adams enjoyed skinny-dipping in the Potomac. John Tyler had 19 children by two different wives. After his first wife died, he married a 24 year old woman named Julia Tyler (nee Gardner ) who was younger than his eldest daughter. Not surprisingly, relations between Tyler and his daughters were strained after that. Also, Tyler's own son had previously dated Julia. Awkward. James K Polk hated shaking hands. James Buchanan was the only president who was a lifelong bachelor. Andrew Johnson was the first president to be impeached. He came within one vote of being removed from office. Ulysses S Grant was extremely squeamish about blood. That's right – one of the most famous war generals in American history had a weak stomach. Rutherford Hayes and his wife Lucy hated alcohol so much that they banned all types of alcoholic beverages from the White House. They horrified visiting foreign dignitaries by serving them water. The first lady was named "Lemonade Lucy". William Howard Taft was so large that he became stuck in the White House bathtub. (330 pounds) Harry Truman was notoriously hot-tempered. He once sent hate mail to a music critic who had bashed his daughter (a wannabe singer) in a column. Presidential Quotes "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country or our people, and neither do we." – George W Bush "This fellow they've nominated claims he's the new Thomas Jefferson. Well, let me tell you something - I knew Thomas Jefferson. He was a friend of mine, and governor... you're no Thomas Jefferson!" – Ronald Reagan, talking about Bill Clinton in 1992. "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." – Ronald Reagan "I wish to see this beverage become common instead of the whiskey which kills one-third of our citizens and ruins their families." – Thomas Jefferson, talking about beer. "Labor disgraces no man. Unfortunately, you occasionally find men disgrace labor." - Ulysses Grant "Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There's nothing to do but to stand there and take it." -Lyndon Johnson "When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results. " – Calvin Coolidge "Gentlemen, I can run the country or I can control Alice. I cannot do both." - Theodore Roosevelt, talking about his feisty daughter Alice. "It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" – Ronald Reagan "I am not fit for this office and should never have been here." Warren G Harding (most historians agree with him) "There is nothing left to do but get drunk" – Franklin Pierce, after learning he was not going to be nominated for re-election. "No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend on obtaining it." – John Adams "You lose." - Calvin Coolidge, when a woman told himm she had made a bet that she could get him to say more than two words. "Be yourself. That proved to be the worst advice I could possibly have. And I'm going to be myself. Do it that way." - George HW Bush's incoherent response tto an awkward question about how his administration would be different from Ronald Reagan's. "There's an old saying in Tennessee – I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee – that says, fool me once, shame on – shame on you. Fool me – you can't get fooled again." – George W Bush It depends on what the meaning of the world ‘is' is." – Bill Clinton "I know that the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully!" – George W Bush Common-looking people are the best in the world - that is why the Lord makes so many of them." - Abraham Lincoln "I've now been in 57 states, one left to go." - Barack Obama -<>- >History Quiz. I bet you get some wrong If you don't know the answer make your best guess. Answer all the questions before looking at the answers. ... Who said it? 1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good." A. Karl Marx B. Adolph Hitler C. Joseph Stalin D. None of the above 2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few...... And to replace it with shared responsibility for shared prosperity." A. Lenin B. Mussolini C. Idi Amin D. None of the Above 3) "(We) .....can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people." A. Nikita Khrushev B. Josef Goebbels C. Boris Yeltsin D. None of the above 4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own ... in order to create this common ground." A. Mao Tse Dung B. Hugo Chavez C. Kim Jong Il D. None of the above 5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed." A. Karl Marx B. Lenin C. Molotov D. None of the above 6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched." A. Pinochet B. Milosevic C. Saddam Hussein D. None of the above Scroll down for answers . . . . . . . Answers: (1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004 (2) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007 (3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (4) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007 (6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005 AND She is possible hopeful for our next President? Be afraid, Be very afraid!! --- ...LOL! Thank You Ladies! ============================================================ >-->From GoodCleanFun: ____________________ / {)][o>][_o][c_][o][| |-==)| | &_____________________L ejm 96 ( ) ( ) >Charter Bus As a school bus driver one Saturday morning I was driving a high school choir to a concert. I parked the bus at the school and soon students started boarding. Nobody said hello or asked if it was the charter bus or anything. The choir director boarded, counted the students, and said it was OK to leave, also not asking if it was the correct bus. About two miles down the road I spoke up in a loud voice saying, " When we get to the work site the deputies will issue each of you an orange vest, gloves, and two plastic trash bags. When you fill a bag leave it beside the road. When you need more bags raise your hand and the deputies will give you more." I then looked in the mirror to see the most shocked kids I've ever seen. I explained what happened to the director; and we both, or perhaps I should say all, had a good laugh. Bet those kids never assumed they where on the correct bus again. -<>- >Got a Gripe? A mayor of a small town passed out pens imprinted with the message, "Got a gripe? Call the mayor." One morning the phone rang and his secretary answered it. "Who was that?" the mayor asked. "A citizen with a gripe," came the reply. "He said that the pen you gave him doesn't work." -<>- >Knocking Down A young man who was an All-American football player in college went back to his alma mater as an assistant coach. One of his main responsibilities in his new job would be to scout and recruit players for his college team. Before he made his first recruiting trip, he went in to visit with the head coach, the same coach for whom he had played when he was there in college some years before. The head coach was a crusty old veteran. He had held that position as head coach for many years, was widely known and highly respected all across the country. The new young coach said to him, "Coach, I'm about to head out on my first recruiting trip, but before I go I want to be sure that we are on the same page. Tell me, Coach, what kind of player do you want me to recruit?" The crusty old head coach leaned back in his chair. He looked the young coach straight in the eyes and said: "Son, I've been at this job a long time and over the years I have noticed that there are several different kinds of players. For example," he said, "you will find some players who get knocked down and they stay down. That's not the kind we want!" And he said, "You will find some players who get knocked down and they will get right back up and get knocked down again and then they stay down. That's not the kind we want!" And then the old coach said, "But you will also find some other players who get knocked down and knocked down and knocked down, and every time they get knocked down, they get right back up!" At this point, the young coach got excited and he said, "Now, that's the kind of player we want, isn't it, Coach?" "No!" said the old head coach. "We want the one doing all that knocking down!!" -<>- >New Teacher A young lady graduated from college and started teaching at an area school. One day she went with a friend to a nearby restaurant for lunch. A man seated next to her asks, "Are you a teacher?" Surprised but happy, she replied, "Why, yes, I certainly am!" She enjoyed a warm feeling throughout the meal ... she looked like a teacher, and this made her feel great. As she was leaving the restaurant, she asked the man, "How did you know I was a teacher?" "You have chalk dust on your rear", he replied. -<>- >Pumice Paste As a dentist, I recently tried out a new chocolate-flavored pumice paste on my patients. No one liked it except for a six-year-old boy. While I polished his teeth, he continued to smile and lick his lips. "You must really like this new flavor," I said. "Yep," he replied, nodding with satisfaction. "It tastes just like the time I dropped my candy bar in the sandbox." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend KarenF :) _____ /`.---.`\ / /.---.\ \ ; |/ e e \| ; ; \| ^ |/ | | \_=_/ | |.-"` `"-.| / `'-...-'` \ | | | , | \ './|\.' / ;._(/:\)_.; || : : || || ; : || || : : || || '.' || || + || || || || || |'-.___.-'| | | '-.__ __.-' jgs (_/`\_) >Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, 'Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so.' Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, 'Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words.' Sister Mary Katherine said, 'Hard bed.' 'I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said, 'We will get you a better bed.' After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was summoned by the Priest. 'You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.' 'Cold food,' said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future. On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine in to his office. 'You may say two words today.' 'I quit,' said Sister Mary Katherine. 'It's probably best,' said the Priest, 'You've done nothing but gripe ever since you got here.' -<>- _ /_\ .'-'. .' '. '_________' ( ) |.---------.| |: Blinker :| |: Fluid :| |'---------'| (___________)LGB >If My Body Was a Car! If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull... But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it, Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter, either my radiator leaks or My Exhaust Backfires! --- ...LOL! Thanks KarenF! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend louiseA :) >SMILES ,'-', :-----: (''' , - , ''') \ ' . , ` / \ ' ^ ? / \ ` - ,' `j_ _,' ,- -`\ \ /f ,- \_\/_/'- , `, , , /\ \ | / \ ', , f : :`, , <...\ , : ,- ' \,,,,\ ; : j ' \ \ :/^^^^' \ \ ; ''': \ -, -`.../ ' - -,`,--` \_._'-- '---: Storm A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department. After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man's last interview. The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son." Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit." "Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant. "You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?" ____________ Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Pee-Kaa-Boo)? Well, Picabo is not just an athlete, she is now a nurse currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. Unfortunately, she is no longer permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It seems it was causing too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, "Picabo, I. C. U." ______________ A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel." "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents." "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars." ____________ A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident. The carpenter replied, "Twenty-seven feet, six and one-half inches." "What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the lawyer. "Well, I knew sooner or later some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter. _____________ ,--.,-"";-"-. .-;-/ / / .- `\ .-. ` ( ' ' ` ; `\/ \ \ / \ / (. C . ) | .-. | | _ / (` / | \ /}| | )(\ | `-> (____.| / ||| / \=====| | |\| | |====| \ _/ ` \__/=====| |` `-'======| \ |=======/ | |=======| | .--, ########\ |/ / jgs |_|__|| ` `--. ,---;-'--'\ `--. `---`-------'-.___,___.---' A little kid has just started kindergarten, and the teacher tells him and the class, "Every day you have to put on a clean pair of underwear." By Saturday, he couldn't get his pants on. _____________ A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!" They all asked the farmer how it tasted. "I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!" ______________ Three aspiring psychiatrists from three leading universities were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from UCLA, "what is the opposite of joy"? "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression"? he asked the young lady from Clemson. "Elation," she said. "And you, sir," he said to the student from Kansas State. "How about the opposite of woe"? The KSU student replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy up!" _____________ __A__ (")__ /)_ \_L_ _// \_ _~~---\/~| ^~^^^^^^^^^ ~\ \^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ( ; {_\ A cowboy walks into the dentist's office and after an examination the dentist says, "That tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes." The cowboy grabs the doc's arm and says. "No way. I hate needles. I'm not having any shot!" So the dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The cowboy replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas." So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here, "he says. "Take this pill." The cowboy asks, "What is it?" The doc replies, "Viagra." The cowboy looks surprised and asks, "Will that kill the pain?" *"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to while I pull the tooth." --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ============================================================ >-->In The Worldly News: On Gun Control: >From Our Friend KarenF :) Quote From 1935: "This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!" ~Adolph Hitler, 1935,on The Weapons Act of Nazi Germany --- ...Yes - scary! Thanks KarenF! Hitler used the mandatory registration of guns not to keep the people safer but so that he could know exactly who had guns. The government officers went door to door and seized them. The people then had no means to protect themselves from Hitler. >From Our Friend Bunni :) Please Take the USA Quick Vote - Does The Second Amendment give individuals the right to bear arms? http://tinyurl.com/8nnzgvu Please Pass This on to others! --- ...an easy one! Thanks Bunni! Bunni brings up this question: Is this statement true or false - Attorney General Eric Holder does not believe the 2nd Amendment gives individuals the right to bear arms. From MythBuster: The Second Amendment reads: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a Free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. I am sure even the dumb-down government-run school students can understand this simple amendment. The original authors and signers of the Constitution and its amendments, the first ten, which has come to be known as the Bill of Rights, was written to be as clear and yet concise as possible. In its draft the Second Amendment was debated and modified during sessions of the House in 1789. The debates were mostly about the risk of mal-administration of the government using the religiously scrupulous clause to destroy the militia as Great Britain had attempted to do at the commencement of the American Revolution. On December 15th, 1791, the first ten amendments, which included the 2nd Amendment, were ratified by three-fourths of the states. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the phrase To bear arms is to: Serve as a soldier, do military service, fight. "Bear" means to carry. Duh! Oxford folks must have missed that. Read More: http://tinyurl.com/3p24epy -<>- >Talk about 'bearing arms' - From Our Friend PatDeE :) This girl can cover my six at any time. "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; for he today that sheds his blood with me, shall always be my Brother" - (William Shakespeare) "Semper Fi" to my Marine Corps Viet Nam vet Brothers. To visit Tom's Viet Nam unit site, click on this link Hdqtrs. Co. 9th Marines http://www.hqco9thmarines.com/ To visit my personal Marine site, click on this link Marines - TogetherWE SERVED http://marines.togetherweserved.com/profile/160155 The latest State of the Union speech; how could so many lies be told in one hour !!! This girl can cover my six at any time. http://tinyurl.com/b6et4rg --- ...Awesome! Thanks PatDeE! Reminds me a little of what my daughter does every year to qualify for the Sheriff's Department. >From Our Friend Johanna :) A must have in every home in America ! For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house! In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket. Washington thinks they are going to take away our guns, so check this out. I like it! NAIL GUNS! AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them! AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED! Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS! Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Christmas would immediately ask for it: Thank you, DeWalt!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTrdosB82Fs New Nail Gun, made by DeWalt It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards. This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence. Hundred round magazine. Someone invades your home, just nail his behind --- ...LOL! Thanks Johanna! -<>- >From BizarreNews: There were some good bizarre stories this week. There was, of course, the Carnival cruise (or should I say 'crap') ship which was without power or toilets for five days while it was being towed back to port after an engine room fire. 4,200 people shitting in plastic bags for five days certainly puts that story in the bizarre category. And how much more bizarre can you get than the meteor which exploded in the atmosphere above the Chelyabinsk region in Russia rocking buildings, shattering thousands of windows and injuring hundreds of people? And just to give it a cold war feel one paranoid Russian politician even said the event was not a meteor but a US weapons test. But for my money (and since I'm the editor mine is the only money that counts) the best bizarre story of the week has to go to former San Diego mayor Maureen O'Connor who skimmed $2 million from a charity in order to help fund her one billion dollar gambling addiction. Now ol' Maureen earned her initial fortune the old fashioned way; she married the multi-millionaire founder of Jack in the Box Burgers, who just happened to be 30 years her senior. When her sugar-daddy went to that golden burger joint in the sky Maureen started gambling away his fortune. It wasn't all bad luck. At one point Maureen was reportedly up hundreds of millions of dollars, but apparently it wasn't enough. When she eventually gambled it all away she resorted to embezzling $2 million from her late husband's charitable foundation in an effort to win it back. It wasn't successful. Incredibly her lawyers have successfully used the old 'a brain tumor impaired my reasoning' defense (that's not a joke) in order to defer her prosecution for two years so she can raise the money to pay the charity back. If that's not American justice, nothing is. *-- Chubby Checker suing HP over penis app --* FORT PIERCE, Fla. - A Florida lawsuit filed on behalf of Chubby Checker accuses Hewlett-Packard and subsidiary Palm Inc. of using the singer's name to sell a penis-estimating app. Attorney Willie Gary filed the lawsuit Monday in a Fort Piece federal court alleging the company's Palm APP Catalog, which sells apps for Palm smartphones, sells an app called "The Chubby Checker" designed to estimate the size of a man's penis based on his shoe size, TCPalm.com reported Thursday. The lawsuit says the 71-year-old singer, whose real name is Ernest Evans, has a trademark on the name "Chubby Checker" for use in his business interests. "Defendants' use of the name 'Chubby Checker' in its app is likely to associate plaintiff's (trade) marks with the obscene, sexual connotation and images," the lawsuit states. TCPalm did not have a comment from Hewlett-Packard or Palm Inc. *-- Topless activist bares chest after court --* NEW YORK - A New York performance artist and activist for women's topless rights shed her shirt outside of the court- house after having charges against her dismissed. Holly Van Voast, 46, who was arrested for trespassing, disorderly conduct and pot possession after she went topless inside St. Patrick's Cathedral Jan. 30 of last year, had the charges dismissed Wednesday and took off her shirt upon exiting the courthouse, the New York Daily News reported Thursday. Ron Kuby, Van Voast's lawyer, said the conditional dismissal also included two other shirtless arrests, one on the D train May 7 for occupying multiple seats and one June 7 on the L train for interfering with passenger movement, disorderly conduct and occupying multiple seats. The dismissal "covers all of Ms. Van Voast's outstanding busts," Kuby was quoted as saying. Van Vost, who had a drawn-on black mustache during Wednesday's court appearance, said she kept her breasts covered inside the courtroom because she's "not an exhibitionist." It is legal for women to go topless in New York City. MORE BIZARRE NEWS: I felt a great disturbance; as if a thousand fan boys screamed out at once and were suddenly silenced. At least that is what I imagine it was like when a Montana television station's regular programming was interrupted by news of a zombie apocalypse. The Montana Television Network says hackers broke into the Emergency Alert System of Great Falls affiliate KRTV. KRTV says on its website the hackers broadcast that, 'dead bodies are rising from their graves' in several Montana counties. The alert claimed the bodies were 'attacking the living' and warned people not to 'approach or apprehend these bodies as they are extremely dangerous.' I can just picture thousands of single, 30-year-old virgins in the Great Falls area scouring their parents' basement for their replica 'Highlander' swords in anticipation of decapitating some walking dead, and then sinking into a depression of disappointment when the network said there was no emergency. The station's engineers are investigating and the hoax alert has not generated any calls to police. *-- Taiwan zoo to dissect poop as attraction --* TAIPEI, Taiwan - Zoo officials in Taiwan are turning to an odd point of interest to draw visitors during the winter season: animal poop. The Taipei Zoo, seeking to capitalize on renewed interest in animals after the release of the 3-D movie "Life of Pi," directed by Taiwanese-born film- maker Ang Lee, said it will dissect and explain the contents of animal poop three times per week for any zoo visitors interested in the smelly demonstration. The movie depicts a young Hindu boy who survives a shipwreck and is stranded on a lifeboat for 227 days. Several animals join him on the surrealist journey. As for how that translates into dissecting poop, zoo officials explained the display has a pointed demographic similar to the movie, Central News Agency said Sunday. "Somehow the poo topic is very stimulating for boys from 5 to 9 years old. They could be our target audience during winter vacation," project manager Lin Jun-lan said. *-- Ear lobe bitten off in brawl --* STAMFORD, Conn. - A man's ear lobe was bitten off and swallowed by his cousin during a brawl over loud music in Stamford, Conn., police said. Emilio Mendoza, 27, was charged with first-degree assault, interfering with police, forgery and disorderly conduct. After he was released from a hospital, the injured man Ruiz Clemente-Perez, 39, was charged with third-degree assault, police records said. Police were called to the apartment of Mendoza and Clemente- Perez early Monday morning. Clemente-Perez told police his cousin, Mendoza, began playing loud music, which started a fight. "It was a pretty bloody scene," said police Lt. Diedrich Hohn. Mendoza bit the left ear of Clemente-Perez and tore off the ear lobe, Holm said. Sgt. Richard Barbagallo said Mendoza, who was intoxicated at the time, told him he swallowed the ear lobe. Mendoza also showed the police fake identification when he was taken to police headquarters Monday, the Stamford Advocate reported. Mendoza is scheduled to be arraigned Wednesday. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) \____ ___, __\o___|__ __)____)__ /// =. -)- ))) _/ \_c/ \=_/ \__ /= \/ )_/=\ \ ^|\ __((_\_/\ )\ \___ __ /_/-\o____) _\_\,__o/-\_\ \/ ))__|_ (x_\_:M \/ ,/:_/_s) \ *\ \ / /o / \ *\ \ / /o / \,/ `) (' \,/ / ( | | ) \ ,- <___( )___> -\ -,--(o \| |-.--,-- | |/ o)--,. - b'ger [_,_(o \__ _/ o)_,_/ \_,___] [___,_/ >Health message for Mature people As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's behind. Listen up! 1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. I'm retired. -<>- \ \| | / / ...\ | |/ / ._(___)_. | / (|o_o|)| |/ ()\-/()| | /()\,/()\ | / (_ : _) \ | / / )_:_( \ \ | \_\/ | \/_/ | \_) | (_/ | | | | | | | | | \__;__/ | ScS \"\/| | |\"\| \ )")"\* \ ^~~^~(_)/I-.___.-'^~^~ Sher^ 11-19-99 >Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, where is it? 7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess? 16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter. 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE SENT YOU THIS BEFORE. -<>- ___ /,,,\ __|___|____ /__% o\/-%__ \ |/ %% ( %% \| %,\_/,% I am comin fur __} {__ Ya"CowBoy" / ::< >:: \ Your Gonna be / /|\,,,/|\ \ My Next / /:\/;;;\// /: Ride! / /: (-);(-) /: ((|` / | | \: / | | \ / /.()_().\ \ |_|, `-' ,|_| |XX, ,XX| _| |, ,| |_ <__/[] , \/ ,[]\__> ,-' | | | | `, | | | | \/ ,' | | | | -"))) ( ) ( ) /\ |_| |_| \|/ /___/___\TS >IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD .. 1) You can't count your hair. 2) You can't wash your eyes with soap. 3) You can't breathe when your tongue is out. Put your tongue back in your mouth, please Ten (10) Things I know about you: 1) You are reading this. 2) You are human. 3) You can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips. 4) You just attempted to do it. 6) You are laughing at yourself. 7) You have a smile on your face, and you skipped No. 5. 8) You just checked to see if there is a No. 5. 9) You laugh at this because you are a fun loving person everyone does it too. 10) You are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it. Please go ahead. You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the idiot category. Have a great Day. Laugh, and then Laugh and sing. It's a Beautiful Morning even when it's not. "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.” Life is so easy, when all the pains are celebrated with a smile. --- ...LOL! Great! Thanks Linda! =========================================================== >-->Tip From Our Friend Bunni :) v~v~v~v !@!@!@! _!_!_!_!_ | || || | || ||| }{{{{}}}{{{ ejm97 __||__ >JUST A THOUGHT FOR A CAKE A person was advised by a lady at the grocery store in the cake section, if you want a really moist and easy cake Take any flavor cake mix and mix as directed and add a whole can of the frosting right in with the cake mix. They report it was so moist it did not need frosting. The lady tried it with German Chocolate cake and a can of coconut pecan frosting. She was right! It was awesome...makes a good bundt cake and not overly sweet but great with coffee. The next one she said she was going to try was the butter golden yellow with a can of homestyle cream cheese. You can drizzle a glaze over it but it is not necessary. --- ...Sounds Yummy and Easy! Thanks Bunni! Here's some tips I've learned... Brown Sugar: Double bag and tie it to help keep it from getting rock hard after opening. However, if it does get hard as a rock, don't throw it away. Remove the ties and toss it in the microwave on high for about 30 seconds. Longer if it still isn't moist and useable. Stale Bread or Donuts: Place bread or donut on a paper towel in microwave. Heat on high for 8-11 seconds or until soft. Not bird food any more! ======================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: .--------. ____/_____|___ \___ O _ - | _ ,* '--(_)-------(_)--' Dani Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said, inconsolable. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" -<>- A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?" -<>- An anthropologist shows off his priceless trove of treasure to his saintly grandmother. "What's that?" she asks, pointing to an oddly shaped item. "Uh..." stammers the anthropologist, "it's a phallic symbol." "Oh," says his grandmother, nodding her head. "That's good, 'cause I hate to tell you what it looks like." -<>- ________ /________\ //( ( ( ( \\ || ((|| ||) ) ` ) )|| || (\___( ( || \|) ) \)_|/ / ((\_v_/ \ / /) x \ \ | | x | | | \ x / | | | x | | | |\ x /| | | |/\ x /\| | | | \x/ | | | | V | | /____\ /____\ | | | | / \ / \ | | | | `~~| |~~' On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet. "I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old," I said to my husband, hoping he'd take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present. "Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old." -<>- .======================================. | ___ ___ ___ _ _ _ | | \_/ \_/ \_/ C|||C|||C||| |-| |-| |-| | | _|_ _|_ _|_ ||| ||| ||| |_| |_| |_| | '===================================== ,sSSSs DUFFY'S WATERING HOLE SSSS "( .:. SSS@ =/ \~/ C|||' SSSS_(_ _Y_ ___|||______________________________SS/ _)_) /.- [____________________________________] \ /\// | ____ ____ ____ ____ | \|==(\_/ | (____) (____) (____) (____) | (/ ; | | | | | | | | | | |____| | | | | | | | | | | \ |\ | | | | | | | | | | ) ) ) | |____| |____| |____| |____| | ( |/ | I====I I====I I====I I====I | /\ | jgs | | | | | | | | | /.(=\ Y\_\ [In preamble let me say that that whoever wrote this joke doesn't know much about alcohol. First; not even premium imported beer costs $10 a 6-pack, and second; drinking 18 beers a day for 15 years would probably kill a person. That being said, I have been in situations very similar to this, so I still find this joke funny.] 1st Date Conversation Lady: Do you drink? Man: Yes. Lady: How much a day? Man: 3 six packs. Lady: How much does a six pack cost? Man: About $10.00. Lady: And how long have you been drinking? Man: 15 years. Lady: So one six pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 six packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct? Man: I guess. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct? Man: I suppose so. Lady: Do you know that if you didn't drink, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a new Ferrari? Man: You don't say. So, do you drink? Lady: No. Man: Where's your Ferrari? --- ...ALSO Don't forget - alcohol is now said to cause cancer - so it is a real BIG No-No! http://radioboston.wbur.org/2013/02/18/alcohol-linked-to-cancer-death -<>- >Classified Ad from local newspaper: 06' Suzuki GSXR 1000, $9,000 This bike is perfect! It has only 1,000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I'm selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently "Do whatever you want." doesn't mean what I thought. Call Steve. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _"_ % (< ? ` " __||___ |\___//_\ (' | ') \\ __|\ , / |/ /: / \ :: \| ######o /| ######## \) ######## \ : / \: / -- %%% %% % /:\ |/|, b'ger ** Top Ten Indications Your Girlfriend is Going to Dump You ** 10. Your visa card and your belt both hit their limit. 9. She's been wearing an engagement ring for three weeks, but you don't recall proposing to her. 8. She just started a college course that meets seven nights a week. 7. She says she has to tell you something on Jerry Springer. 6. Her love letters come soaked in formaldehyde rather than perfume. 5. Whenever she introduces you it's always "I would like you to meet an old friend of mine..." 4. She leaves a message on your phone and identifies herself by both her first and last names. 3. Your other girlfriend told you so. 2. The dartboard behind your photo on her wall. 1. Her girlfriends look at you, tilt their heads, and say, "You haven't got a clue, do you?" -<>- _____ , ___)) / | 6 6 (___( _e Eeeww ____/ /_ / \ o\_/ \ / /\' _ _)\ /_< )____/\_\ ___oo' ,ooooo,|_/ -//,-( / |=/ | \ \ \ \ )_______\ / ) / ) / / ( | | / \ | _________ |/_______\|________. = = /( )\ b'ger >** Top Ten Uses For Bellybutton Lint ** 10. If it is a big piece, it could be used to knit a costume for Baywatch. 9. String it together to save money on floss. 8. 1 month's worth: fancy side burns. 2 months' worth: beatnik goatee. 3 months' worth: fake santa beard. 7. Additional supporting evidence that you are qualified for entrance into the navel academy. 6. What do you think they make cotton candy out of? 5. Fling it at spouse as punishment for bringing the laptop to bed again. 4. Fur implants for balding muppets. 3. You won't believe how tasty it is sauteed with garlic and herbs. 2. Evidence for convicting murderous belly dancers. 1. Put it on the end of toothpicks - VIOLA! - Completely natural Q-tips. -<>- How many b'ger do you need to change a lightbulb? \ [yawn]Get lost Ralf. \ \ \ `, ___ # /_,/\ |/ ? /" ( | , )\ .Y___ / /__/\ \____ \(__ / \_/ \ / (\ _ / < _____ _> \ |. ||\ -|.|)--/___/ ,___/___\------'-----' '-' |\/ b'ger >** Top Ten Signs You're Not a Morning Person ** 10. You put your cordless shaver in the toaster. 9. Your vocabulary in the morning consists of, "Uh?" and "Uh huh". 8. You thought vitamin C meant COFFEE! 7. Even your self-absorbed cat will wait till at least noon to remind you he hasn't been fed in over 48 hrs. 6. Your will specifically states that you be buried "any time after 1 p.m." 5. You go to sleep in your work clothes so you don't have to waste "valuable sleep-in time" getting dressed. 4. Vivarin -- Breakfast of Champions is your choice every morning. 3. You yawn and suck in a Delta 747. 2. You think Letterman is the host of Good Morning America. 1. When you sleep late, coffee prices plummet on major world commodity markets. ============================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Greetings! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greetings.html Advice For New Year http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/newyear.html Deer Hunter Story - GRAPHIC- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/deerhunter.html Playboy Bunny Calendar http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/calendar.html Humor In Politics 6 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics6.html Playing With Food 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/food3.html Amazing Stairways http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stairs.html Chevy Selling It http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevysi.html Darvaza - Door To Hell http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/darvaza.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) GRATITUDE http://tinyurl.com/bwvxze3 --- ...Awww, so beautifully done! Thanks Linda! Reminds me of this verse: Pss.118: [24] This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Each day is so precious and special because of this! -<>- >From Our Friend KarenF :) A beautiful coat! (YOU ARE GOING TO WATCH THIS MORE THAN ONCE ...(OH, YES you are). http://elrellano.com/videos_online/4624/circo-roncalli.html --- ...A fun shocker! Thanks KarenF! A video done in Alberta, Canada. The quality of the video is stunning. This is fast paced but the high definition scenery is awesome in what is as close to 3D as you can get without wearing special glasses. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ThFCg0tBDck --- ...Awww, most beautiful! Thanks KarenF! -<>- >From Our friend Bunni :) This cat demands service every week http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZJ8CZynxVg --- ...TeeHee! Adorable! Thanks Bunni! Here's a couple more... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvWGnXkcaKI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTRhiOeRzfA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsynW6l3Lfw -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) The road is built on several small islands and reefs, and is crossed by eight bridges, several roads and overpasses. This road gives a view of the open sea, which is rare on the roads along the Norwegian coast. You can see fjords and mountains near the road. The spectacular road quickly became a tourist attraction, insofar precautions should be displayed while driving, because of the attendance of the road by the local population and visitors. How did they build these roads? Driving in Norway - Imagine you are driving. http://www.youtube.com/embed/4T4vc1QqiPM?feature=player_embedded --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseA! I did and I kept thinking - I don't think I should go there... What The Heck! I don't think I want to go there! I don't think I should go there! I won't go there... SCARY! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Monopoly is getting a big makeover. They want to make the Monopoly game more modern and bring it up to date to reflect our current culture. Like, in the new version of Monopoly, the banker never goes to jail." -Jay Leno "The Department of Justice is trying to block Anheuser-Busch from buying Corona. So they did what everyone else does - got their older brother to buy it for them." -Jimmy Fallon "You know when it comes to organic food, the USDA is very tough. You can't have anything that ends in 'eetos.'" -Craig Ferguson "In Great Britain the bones of King Richard III, who was killed in 1485, have been discovered under a parking lot. And you know how he died? Fighting over a parking space." -Jay Leno "This weekend a couple from Connecticut will have the longest marriage ever recorded in the U.S. They said the secret to their long-lasting marriage is love, compromise, and the fact that neither one of them has been able to hear a word the other one has said in more than 30 years." -Jimmy Kimmel "Last night runners from around the world competed in the annual race to the top of the Empire State Building. But there's already a scandal brewing. It turns out one of the competitors tested positive for elevator." -Jimmy Fallon "The Canadians got rid of their penny today. There are no more one-cent coins in Canada. So now if you're in Canada, and say to someone 'a penny for your thoughts,' that is now illegal. They will put you in jail." -Craig Ferguson "A French tattoo artist met a young lady and less than 24 hours after they met, she allowed him to tattoo his name on her face. That means she either really loves him or really hates her parents." -Jimmy Kimmel "According to reports from a journal called Psychological Science, people eat more junk food and gain weight during tough economic times. How ironic is that? The biggest obstacle to Michele Obama's war on obesity is President Obama's economic policy." -Jay Leno >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************