Happy Presidents Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This too hot to handle new page is from our friends LouiseAu and Karen. It is sure to tickle your funny bone and give you plenty of smiles for your day. Check it and the video on it out here... Sound up: /|\ [] |"""""""""""--__ /| |\ / | \ || |____________--"" ( |__| ) | ( ) | || | | \ / | .-. | || | | |12| ]( 0 )[ || | | | | / `-' \ || | | | | / /' `\ \ || | | | | | | | | |%%| | | | | | | | | ,'`, | | | | | | | | |||| | | |14| | | | | |||| | | / __ \ \ \ / / |||| | | ( | | ) `-' `-' `--' `-' \| |/ pb Hubby To-Do's http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hubby.html --- ...Hahaha! Good ones! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: __ ________\##, />=< `. o \##, `---.`/####/####| | |` || ````|######| | \ |######| | | |######| |____/\__ |######| L___)---` _ _|| | <_<_____) Zeus One day, a Russian spy received a coded message from an American spy claiming it came directly from President Trump. It read: S370HSSV-0773H. The spy was stumped, so he sent it to his boss at the agency. His boss was stumped too, so he sent it to the Russians for decoding. The French couldn't solve it either, so they asked the Germans. The Germans, having received this same message during WWII from the Americans, suggested turning it upside down. -<>- Three rednecks called Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard. "Come have a look over here", says Bubba, "It's Zeb Jones' grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87." "That's nothing", says Earl, "here's one named Butch Smith. It says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Jeb yells out, "But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old!" "What was his name?" asks Bubba. Jeb lights a match to see what else is written on the grave stone, and exclaims, "Miles, from Georgia." -<>- An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset. "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked. "I had to slap his face three times!" "You mean he got fresh?" "No," she answered, "I thought he was dead." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day and President's Day February 20 is Cherry Pie Day, Hoodie Hoo Day and Love Your Pet Day February 21 is Card Reading Day February 22 is George Washington's Birthday, Be Humble Day, Walking the Dog Day International World Thinking Day and National Margarita Day February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day and Tennis Day February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day and Open That Bottle Night February 25 is Pistol Patent Day and Winter Olympics end - Closing Ceremony ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro >Oh, the Simple Honesty of a Child... I attend a small village church in rural PA. On any given Sunday, we may have six or seven faithful little ones who come with their parents for the whole church service. Pastor has a white bag which gets passed from child to child each week, making sure they get equal turns to put something in for him to talk about. Each Sunday, Pastor calls all the little children up to him and he opens the bag to find a "surprise" on which he bases his children's sermon. Last week, the bag went home with a little guy who spends many hours a week on church related activities. His parents and older brother are very active and so, in turn, is he. When Pastor opened the bag, there was a copy of Handel's Messiah which was very appropriate for Easter Sunday. Pastor and the children had a lively discussion going on about the joy and happiness that music brings to the service. As he closed the little talk, Pastor said, "Yes, music is a wonderful part of our service. What would church be like if there was none?" Without skipping a beat, the little boy who had brought the music said, "About a half an hour!" Needless to say, everyone exploded into laughter which lasted for minutes. Finally, Pastor said, "There is no way I can top that so let's have a little prayer before you return to your seats." -<>- >Dallas Traffic I asked a native why the traffic in Dallas is so chaotic. "In some countries they drive on the right, and in others they drive on the left. Here we drive in the shade." -<>- >Flower Shop A man walks into a flower shop. "I'd like some flowers please." "Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?" He shrugs, "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..." "Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?" -<>- >Mom's Lead Foot My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the officer walked up to the car. "I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer. "What do they usually do, ma'am?" he asked. "Shoot the tires out?" -<>- >Fairy Tales A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?" He replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If elected I promise..." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ,=""=, c , _,{ /\ @ ) __ / ^~~^\ <=.,__/ '}= (_/ ,, ,,) \_ _>_/~ ~\_(/-\)'-,_,_,_,-'(_)-(_) -Naughty >SMILES We encouraged our 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college education. One day she came home with five applications, and later that evening we read them. Under "Previous Employment," she listed "Baby-sitting." And under "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "They came home." ---------- Q: Why did God create man before He created woman? A: Because He didn't want any advice on how to do it! AHAHAHA :) Q: Why wasn't Jesus allowed at any Jerusalem Jewelry shops? A: Because they were afraid that He was going to break every chain! ---------- While sports fishing off Melbourne Beach, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any 'gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the 'gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beach bum said. "The sharks got 'em." ---------- "No need for me to come out to the house," the doctor told the worried caller. "I've checked my files and your uncle isn't really ill at all - he just thinks he's sick." A week later, the doctor telephoned to make sure his diagnosis had been correct. "How's your uncle today?" he asked. "Worse," came the reply. "Now he thinks he's dead." ---------- A Rabbi who's been leading a congregation for many years is upset by the fact that he's never been able to eat pork. So he devises a plan whereby he flies to a remote tropical island and checks into a hotel. He immediately gets himself a table at the finest restaurant and orders the most expensive pork dish on the menu. As he's eagerly waiting for it to be served, he hears his name called from across the restaurant. He looks up to see 10 of his loyal congregants approaching. His luck, they'd chosen the same time to visit the same remote location! Just at that moment, the waiter comes out with a huge silver tray carrying a whole roasted pig with an apple in its mouth. The Rabbi looks up sheepishly at his congregants and says, "Wow - you order an apple in this place and look how it's served!" ---------- A woman meant to call a record store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked. "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children." "Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn. "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get." ------- ,'-', :-----: (''' , - , ''') \ ' . , ` / \ ' ^ ? / \ ` - ,' `j_ _,' ,- -`\ \ /f ,- \_\/_/'- , `, , , /\ \ | / \ ', , f : :`, , <...\ , : ,- ' \,,,,\ ; : j ' \ \ :/^^^^' \ \ ; ''': \ -, -`.../ ' - -,`,--` \_._'-- '---: Storm >"You know you're a redneck when...... 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 20. You can spit without opening your mouth. 21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. 24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. 25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back. 29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. BADA BING --- ...Oh Gee! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) .-------. _|~~ ~~ |_ =(_|_______|_)= |:::::::::| |:::::::[]| |o=======.| jgs `"""""""""` >English Language... Some interesting facts! INTERESTING FACTS for those who love the English language! No words in the English language rhyme with “month”, “orange”, “silver” or "purple”. “Hungry” “Angry” are the only words in the English language that end in -gry. The number 4 is the only number that has the same number of letters in it - FOUR Did you know the word 'Underground' is the only word that begins ends with the letters 'und'? The word 'Uncopyrightable' is the is the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating any letter. The word 'Typewriter' is the longest word that can be typed using only the top row of a keyboard. Did you know the sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English alphabet? The word 'Rhythm' is the longest word without a vowel. "Dreamt" is the only word that ends in mt. Did you know there are only 3 sets of letters on a keyboard which are in alphabetical order - 'F G H', 'J K L', 'O P' The word "queue" is the only word in the English Language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed. "Dammit I'm mad" is the same spelt backwards "Set" of all the words in the English Language, the word "set" has the most definitions. "Bookkeeper" "Bookkeeping" are only words in English language with three consecutive double letters. The least used letter in the alphabet is Q. The most commonly used word in English conversation is 'I' The dot on top of the letter 'i' is called a tittle. There are only 4 words in the English language which end in 'dous' (they are: hazardous, horrendous, stupendous tremendous) The oldest word in the English language is 'town'. The word 'Strengths' is the longest word in the English language with just one vowel. The past tense for the English word 'dare' is 'durst'. The first English dictionary was written in 1755. Have a lovely rewarding day! --- ...Great trivia! Thanks Linda! Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters? ======================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: Honoring the victims in Florida https://tinyurl.com/ybsy3bgh Polling: Americans Overwhelmingly Support President Trump’s Commonsense Immigration Reforms https://tinyurl.com/yb7xxfuo WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Latest From RightAlerts: http://rightalerts.com Latest At FoxNews: http://www.foxnews.com/ Latest From MRC News: https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck Latest From TrueDailyNews: http://truedaily.news/category/news/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: A British man had his heart broken by the woman whose life he saved. Simon Louis, 49, and Mary Emmanuelle, 41, both of London, were best friends for many years and they had been dating for sometime when she became sick. Emmanuelle's kidneys had failed and she needed to find a donor for an organ transplant in order to save her life. Louis stood by her side and helped his girlfriend through- out her illness. Louis decided to donate his kidney to the woman he loved. He got tested and was a match. The couple underwent surgery at the Guy s Hospital, and after they both recovered, Louis asked her to marry him. To his surprise, Emmanuelle turned down the marriage proposal. Despite his disappointment, Louis maintained that he had no regrets about donating his kidney to save the woman's life. "I offered her my heart but I had to settle with giving her my kidney. Whatever happens, I'll never regret giving her the gift of life," Louis said. Emmanuelle wants to continue her friendship with Louis. "He is my very best friend and always will be. The love between us is real. He could have died doing what he did for me." -<>- Passengers of public transportation in the United Kingdom are angry as a young woman regularly strips naked and lies under the wheels of buses, stranding them for many hours. This week, a motorist managed to record video of the naked woman lying underneath the public bus in London. The woman, who was not identified, was wearing only small black panties before lying down on the road and blocking bus number 364. The bus approached the naked woman while flashing its hazard light but she did not move even though the wheels of the bus touched her body. The motorist began recording the spectacle and said that this woman does this on a regular basis, causing disruptions in traffic. At first, the woman used one hand to cover her breasts and her second hand to cover her face. When she saw that the motorist was recording her, she exposed her breasts and face and laughed uncontrollably while lying on Hainault Street. The video of the naked woman was uploaded to Instagram, where it went viral. A spokesperson for Transport for London said that they have received the video footage and are investigating the woman. She faces numerous charges including indecent exposure and disrupting traffic. Apparently there's not much to do for entertainment in London. *- Blind Woman Selected as Beauty Pageant Judge -* A woman who is blind was chosen as a judge to help determine the winner of a beauty pageant in Canada. Officials of the Mrs. Canada Globe announced that 31-year-old Ashley Nemeth of Regina, Saskatchewan, will join the panel of 6 judges because of her ability to recognize inner beauty. Nemeth became blind as a child. She is a married mother of several children and a blogger who is trying to break down stereo- types about blindness. The organization wrote on Instagram: "Excited to introduce celebrity judge Ashley Nemeth who will be joining our judging panel this weekend at the Mrs. Canada Globe Pageant. Ashley Nemeth is recognized as a vocal advocate who breaks down barriers for the blind and partially sighted community." *------------ No Ifs, Ands or Buts ------------* Authorities in Portugal said a man who arrived in the country from Brazil was found to be hiding 2.2 pounds of cocaine in a set of false bottom cheeks. The Portuguese Judicial Police said the Tax and Customs Authority stopped the 32-year-old man at Liston Airport when they determined he was under investigation by the National Anti-Narcotics Trafficking Unit. The man was searched and officers discovered he was was wearing a false derriere filled with 2.2 pounds of cocaine. Police said a 40-year-old man who is suspected of being the intended recipient of the drugs were arrested at a train station in Lisbon. Both men were detained on drug trafficking charges. *----- That's Socialized Healthcare for You -----* A woman who refused to be separated from her bag at Dongguan Railway Station in China's southern Guangdong Province, climbed on a conveyor belt in order to follow her bag through the security scanner. The woman had happily put her suitcases through the machine before walking through the security checkpoint holding the smaller handbag. But security staff told her this bag would also have to be checked and so she reluctantly wheeled back round and placed it on the conveyor belt. Officers were stunned when she started to climb on her- self and were left with some incredible x-rays of both the woman and her bags. While it is unclear what she was carrying in her handbag it is likely to have been wads of cash traditionally given as a gift for Chinese New Year. *--------- You've Got to be Kidding Me ---------* An Oregon resort preparing to open a new golf course said players will be offered a truly unique experience -- goats working as caddies. The Retreat & Links at Silvies Valley Ranch in Seneca said the new course, McVeigh's Gauntlet, is due to open later this year and the resort is currently training goats to act as caddies for golfers who take on the course. The resort said the goats will wear special backpack harnesses so they can carry clubs, tees, balls and even beverages. "We're taking the golf experience at Silvies Valley Ranch to a new level in 2018," Silvies owner Scott Campbell told Golf Wrx. "We've been developing an unprecedented caddie training program with our head caddie, Bruce LeGoat, to ensure that he and his team are ready for the opening of The Gauntlet this summer. We're truly redefining both goat and golf operations at the ranch. Can you think of another course where its caddies were literally born, raised and fully educated on-property? We will get you a caddie who really knows the course and won't give you any bad advice -- and they work for peanuts!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) {} {} ! ! II II ! ! ! I__I__II II__I__I ! I_/|--|--|| ||--|--|\_I .-'"'-. ! /|_/| | || || | |\_|\ ! .-'"'-. /=== \ I//| | | || || | | |\\I /=== \ \== / ! /|/ | | | || || | | | \|\ ! \== / \__ _/ I//| | | | || || | | | |\\I \__ _/ _} {_ ! /|/ | | | | || || | | | | \|\ ! _} {_ {_____} I//| | | | | || || | | | | |\\I {_____} ! ! |= |=/|/ | | | | | || || | | | | | \|\=|- | ! ! _I__I__|= ||/| | | | | | || || | | | | | |\|| |__I__I_ -|--|--|- || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | ||= |--|--|- _|__|__| ||_|__|__|__|__|__|__|| ||__|__|__|__|__|__|_||- |__|__|_ -|--|--| ||-|--|--|--|--|--|--|| ||--|--|--|--|--|--|-|| |--|--|- | | |= || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | ||= | | | | | |- || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | ||= | | | | | |= || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | ||- | | | _|__|__| || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | ||= |__|__|_ -|--|--|= || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | || |--|--|- _|__|__| ||_|__|__|__|__|__|__|| ||__|__|__|__|__|__|_||- |__|__|_ -|--|--|= ||-|--|--|--|--|--|--|| ||--|--|--|--|--|--|-||= |--|--|- jgs | |- || | | | | | | || || | | | | | | ||- | | | ~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~ ** gate ** 10/96 When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfort...unately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in." "Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.'" "Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are." 1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?" 2) How many seconds are in a year? 3) What is God's first name? "Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow." St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer." "The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve." "Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused. "Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..." St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too." "And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy." "Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?" "I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own." St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!" --- ...Oh dear! HaHa! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: /'=----= ______ (( || "--.__." " @>||_____________// _______ /^\"""""""""""//\========) _--"""--/-. "\ // _\-:::-/_-. ." .-"""-/ "_\ "\ == // ;::\:::/::".\ ; / _/ " \\ "\-+//--..._\_/:::::\\ . ; o . || ( ()/)======(o)::::::. . \ ; .| -|.;____...."b:::::; . -._ _ - ; == :::::::::::; "-..____.' ls ":::::::' No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double- checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin. -<>- Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders and get a better view of their wives working. This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television...and later to the remote control. [From Dave Barry.] -<>- Two friends are discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," one friend says. "How so?" his friend asks. "Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me." "And that wasn't love?" his friend asks. "No," he replies. "That was obsession. Then two years ago I deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn't understand me." "Was that love?" "No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere we met on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit of my stomach." "Was that love?" his friend asks. "No," he replies. "That was seasickness." -<>- There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there's me. One day I couldn't stand it any longer. "Why don't you ever bring me flowers?" I asked. "What's the point?" my husband said. "They die after about a week." "So could you," I shot back, "but I still like having you around." -<>- An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their love- seat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, "I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had." The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then she said, "I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity." The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders. The elderly woman then stated," I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine." This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the livingroom his wife asked, "Was it something I said, where are you going?" The old man looked at her and replied, "I'm going to the bathroom to get my teeth!" -<>- A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!" ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: .---------------. / oLo \ O/_____/________/____\O /__________+__________\ / (#############) \ |[**](#############)[**]| \_______________________/ |_""__|_,-----,_|__""_| | | '-----' | | APC'97 '-' '-' >Taking It Out on the Driver Martin had just received his brand new driver's license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years." -<>- \ \ \\ \\ >\/7 _.-(6' \ (=___._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. <`\\_ \ .`-. \ r-7 `-. ._ ' . `\ \`, `-.`7 7) ) \/ \| \' / `-._ || .' cjr \\ ( 10mar02 >\ > ,.-' >.' <.'_.'' <' >Groups: 1. A group of unicorns... a blessing 2. A group of kangaroos... a mob 3. A group of whales... a pod 4. A group of geese... a gaggle 5. A group of owls... a parliament 6. A group of ravens... an unkindness 7. A group of crows... a murder 8. A group of bears... a sleuth 9. A group of alligators... a congregation 10. A group of cockroaches... an intrusion -<>- . `"SSSSSSSSs. `"Ss. `"Ss. .s S' ss' ss' SS ssssssssss `$SSSSSSSSSSSs. ss ss .oOOOOOOo. "SssssssS' .O' `O. `$SSSSSSSSSSSSs. o; ;o `SS `o o' S' `OooooooO' ' >Things Overheard at Kim Jong Il's Campaign Headquarters 10. "How do we improve perfection?" 9. "Maybe it would help your likability if you stopped killing people" 8. "Remind voters there have been no Godzilla attacks on my watch" 7. "After promising nuclear Armegeddon, throw in a folksy, 'You betcha!'" 6. "Remind people you come from Pyongyang just like Kim Jong-Lincoln" 5. "Korean food again?" 4. "Maybe we should hire a new chairman and move Kim to 10pm" 3. "Get a load of that bodacious booty!" (Sorry, that was overheard at Kim Kardashian's house) 2. "With 0% of the precincts reporting, you've won in a landslide" 1. "Hillary's running against me?" -<>- . | \/| (\ _ ) )|/| (/ _----. /.'.' .-._________.. .' @ _\ .' '.._______. '. / (_| .') '._____. / '-/ | _.' '.______ ( ) ) \ '..____ '._ ) ) .' __.--\ , , // (( '.' mrf| \/ (_.'( ' \ .' \ ( \ '. \ \ '.) '-'-' >The Preacher's Parrot A preacher is buying a parrot. "Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher. "Oh, absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him. "Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm." "Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?" "I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) _.-'~~`~~'-._ .'` B E R `'. / I T \ /` .-'~"-. `\ ; L / `- \ Y ; ; /> `. -.| ; | /_ '-.__) | | |- _.' \ | | ; `~~; \\ ; ; INGODWE / \\)P ; \ TRUST '.___.-'`" / `\ /` '._ 1 9 9 7 _.' jgs `'-..,,,..-'` >Links For Presidents Day :) Inspirational President Quotes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/presidentquotes.html Boys To President!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boystopres.html Limos In US History!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/limos.html Magnificent President Tree!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/presidenttree.html US Presidents And The Queen!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/queenofengland.html Presidents Before And Afer!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/presidents.html Obama Saga!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/obamasaga.html Secrets Of The Secret Service!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/secrets.html Thinkers And Their Desks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html Obama After The Whitehouse!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/obamaafterwhitehouse.html Celebrity Private Jets!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrityjets.html Trump's Phone Call!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trumpscall.html Trump And The Queen!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trumpasqueen.html Celebrity Caricatures 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/caricatures.html Houses Of Power!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/housesofpower.html Humor In Politics 17!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics17.html -<>- >On The Web: Netflix reveals its top 20 most binged first shows Did your favorite binge-worthy show make the list? https://tinyurl.com/y8u984n5 From AddictingGames.com: Pop bubbles? Yeah, I know how to do that. But the whole glob moves every time I hit it! Oh noes! You'll have to use strategic thinking, bud. http://www.addictinggames.com/puzzle-games/bubblespinner.jsp 11 things to do when trapped in a horror movie Friends disappeared? Killer on the loose? It’s just possible you’re in the middle of a horror film. Here's how to survive... https://tinyurl.com/29bvaq4 Suburban Cat Herder The object of this online cat game is to get all the cats out of the house! Click on groups of adjacent cats of the same color to herd them out of the house. The more cats you herd at once, the higher your score. Have fun! http://www.yukyuk.com/games_downloads/cat_herder/cat_herder2.shtml A STUPID PERSON'S GUIDE TO LIFE "From time to time, it's good to undertake some remedial education. It's amazing what we unlearn. Thanks to the geniuses at Rinkworks, you'll be all set for the next few years of life..." http://rinkworks.com/brick/ TOONOPEDIA This cool site is a huge virtual encyclopedia of 'toon' information from all over the United States. You'll find massive amounts of info on animated films, comic books, and cartoons. A great site to bookmark... http://www.toonopedia.com/ Record Breaking Rabbits: Angora Bunnies Get Blow-Dried Meet the proud owner of the world's furriest rabbits! https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=iUZgEFRoIX8 ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A prop phaser gun from the Star Trek TV show recently sold for $231,000 at an auction making it the most expensive thing you can point at someone right before they beat the crap out of you." -Jimmy Fallon "Teachers at nine universities are using a new technology that can tell if students are actually reading their text- books. Let me save you some time. They're not." -Jimmy Kimmel "A new study came out that shows that the germiest place in your kitchen is the refrigerator's vegetable drawer. After hearing this, most Americans said, 'We have a vegetable drawer?'" -Conan O'Brien "Valentine's Day was yesterday. So, if I look like I didn't get much sleep, it's because the couch was really uncomfortable." -Seth Meyers "According to a new study, children who are spanked are twice as likely as those that aren't spanked to get into fights and destroy things which is probably why they get spanked in the first place." -Jimmy Kimmel "The former president of Trader Joe's is opening a store that sells only expired food. The new store will be known as 7-Eleven." -Conan O'Brien "A new survey reported that 40 percent of people think it's a good idea to get engaged on Valentine's Day. The other 60 percent were men." -Conan O'Brien "On Valentine's Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don't need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he's going to hump your leg." -Jimmy Kimmel "The trend this year is couples saying they don't need to get each other anything for Valentine's Day, because they love each other EVERY day. I think that's sweet, but to all the guys out there watching, I just want to say it's a trap!" -Jimmy Fallon "There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true." - Sir Winston Churchill "Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." - Mark Twain "Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working." - Pablo Picasso "What we call 'Progress' is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance." - Havelock Ellis "Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad." - Christina Rossetti >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************