Happy President's Day! ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News :)
Sue Hussein owner of the Mountain Meadow RV Park was kind enough
to send us a correction and update for one of our pages. I got
it done and you can view it here...
_
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.-"`"(\\ _.""` `"-.
/ ` `-._ _.-" `\__
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/ , |
() / /` |
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\ |
\ \ / /
/`, , | | /
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/ / | /,__ | /`\
jgs / /' | / `"'\ ( \
__/ /' | | `\ \ \
\ / | | `\ \ \
`-,/ / | / |-"`
`"""^^^ `^^""""`
Albino Bears
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/albinobear.html
---
...Thanks Again Sue!
-<>-
>2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This first Hot page is from our friend RichardF. One of
those truly awesome ones! Check it out here...
============|===============|===--
ejm ~~~~~|xx|~~~~~~~~~~~~~|x|~~~ ~~ ~ ~
The Moses Bridge!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mosesbridge.html
---
...Wow! Amazing! Thank You RichardF!
This next smokin' hottie comes from our friends Linda and
PatDeE. It is an adorably cute one! Check it out here...
_
.--'-/]
O---\ '.
\__ :
.' :_
..'._.-----'/
( '. .'''.:
____'_ '' \ ::
[ U ]'. \.' :
_/ \__''' __\
(_)Honey | '---' '.
'.____.' :
: .''. :
''..: :.'
: : :
.' .'. :
snd '..'.....:
Kisses Sweeter Than Honey!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kisses.html
---
...awww, so sweet! Thanks Linda and PatDeE!
-<>-
>-->From Our Friends at www.TruthOrTradition.com :)
, ,
/////|
///// |
///// |
|~~~| | |
|===| |/|
| B |/| |
| I | | |
| B | | |
| L | /
| E | /
|===|/
jgs '---'
>Mark February 22 at 8 pm ET
We are now producing live video teachings that we hope will be a
blessing to you! We want to start with 1 or 2 live teachings a month
and see where it goes from there. You will be able to interact with
John during the teaching via the live type chat feature. We will have a
time for questions at the end of the teaching. We think you will enjoy
this digital fellowship / interactive teaching! Stay tuned for more
info!
Whether you have a desktop or laptop, you can join us live from
anywhere with an internet connection.
View our live teachings on your iPhone or iPad with the free Live
Stream app available in the Apple app store. Download Now!
http://tinyurl.com/6optnd4
Have John Schoenheit teach your fellowship by tuning in Wednesday
night with your whole group.
Spirit & Truth Fellowship International |
180 Robert Curry Drive | Martinsville, Indiana 46151
==========================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone:
_____
Peace At Last .-' | '-.
.' | '.
/ | \
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased ; | ;
a modest home near a junior high school. He | | |
spent the first few weeks of his retirement ; /|\ ;
in peace and contentment. \ /` | `\ /
'./` | `\.'
Then a new school year began. The very next '-.__|__.-'
afternoon three young boys, full of youthful,
after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on
every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued
day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to
take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists
as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said,
"You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance
like that. Used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do
me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come
around every day and do your thing."
The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash
cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but
this time he had a sad smile on his face.
"This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told
them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on
the cans."
The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his
offer and continued their afternoon ruckus.
.---. A few days later, the wily retiree approached
|#__| them again as they drummed their way down the
=;===;= street. "Look," he said, "I haven't received
/ - - \ my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going
( _'.'_ ) to be able to give you more than 25 cents.
.-`-'^'-`-. Will that be okay?"
| `>o<' |
/ : \ "A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed.
/ /\ : /\ \ "If you think we're going to waste our time,
.-'-/ / .-. \ \-'-. beating these cans around for a quarter,
|_/ /-' '-\ \_| you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!"
/| | |\
(_| /^\ |_) And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for
| | | | the rest of his days.
jgs | | | |
'==='= ='==='
===========================================================
*--------- Even More Bizarre February Holidays ---------*
February 21 is Card Reading Day
February 22 is Be Humble Day
February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day
February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day
February 25 is Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)
February 26 is National Pistachio Day
February 27 is International Polar Bear Day
February 28 is Public Sleeping Day
February 29 is National Surf and Turf Day
===========================================================
>-->From Our Friend PatDeE :)
I particularly liked congress exempting themselves...as usual,
from the laws they pass.
.----.
===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT...
// 6 6 \\ /
( 7 )
\ '--' /
\_ ._/
__) (__
/"`/`\`V/`\`\
/ \ `Y _/_ \
/ [DR]\_ |/ / /\
| ( \/ / / /
\ \ \ /
\ `-/` _.`
jgs `=. `=./
`"`
>Trump Explains Obamacare
Let me get this straight . . . ...
We're going to be "gifted" with a health care
plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't,
Which purportedly covers at least ten million more people,
without adding a single new doctor, but provides for 16,000
new IRS agents, written by a committee whose chairman says
he doesn't understand it, passed by a Congress that didn't
read it but exempted themselves from it, and signed by a
President who smokes, with funding administered by a
treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes, for which we'll be
taxed for four years before any benefits take effect, by a
government which has already bankrupted Social Security and
Medicare, all to be overseen by a surgeon general who is
obese, and financed by a country that's broke!!!!!
Hey - 'What the heck could possibly go wrong?'
---
...TeeHee! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
I wasn't sure that these funny statements were ambiguous. My
dictionary defines it as a. Uncertainty b. capable of being understood
in two or more possible senses or ways. Ergo, I guess that most of
them qualify. My own creation of a double ambiguous statement
is.."tend to indicate" - Pat
.............
.... ....
.. ..
.. ..
. ___ ___ .
. / , \ / , \ .
. \___/ \___/ .
.. .
.. .
.. O .
. | | .
. \ / .
. \ / .
.. \______________/ ..
.. \_____\ \ \/ ..
.... | \ |....
...... | | |
Derek S. Tan \___/
>The Philosophy of Ambiguity
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY,
AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:
1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS
AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL
THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE
SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE
PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS
WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS
IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN
ENDANGERED PLANT?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE
WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD
SIGNS?
21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
31. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY
BECOME DISORIENTED?
34. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
---
...LOL! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
.-.
/ /
/. /
) /c\/
( /'\/
) / /
( / /
) / /
( /. /
.`.'.Pru
`'``
>Only In America!
This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box
of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among
other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great
cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In
his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of
small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the
obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal
fashion.
The lawyer sued - and WON!
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that
the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted
that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would
insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to
be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his
loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer
was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award
contest. ONLY IN AMERICA
---
...LMAO! A lovely Touche' - Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>Story time...
=====[Shotgun]
,______________________________________
|_________________,----------._ [____] ""-,__ __....-----=====
(_(||||||||||||)___________/ "" |
`----------' Krogg98[ ))"-, |
"" `, _,--....___ |
`/ """"
It's not true but who cares - it's a really great story!
------------------------
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, (AAFS)
President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal
complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:
On March 23, 1994...... the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald
Opus, and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr.
Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to
commit suicide.. He left a note to the effect indicating his
despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted
by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him
instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety
net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect
some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been
able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was
occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously
and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that
when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife, and the
pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus. When one intends
to kill subject 'A' but kills subject 'B' in the attempt, one is
guilty of the murder of subject 'B.' When confronted with the murder
charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that
they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a
long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun.
He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr.
Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been
accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old
couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal
accident..
It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support
and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun
threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father
would shoot his mother.
Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the
murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now
becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald
Opus.
Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the
son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent
over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This
led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be
killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.
The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical
examiner closed the case as a suicide.
---
...A wonderful twist of Touche' - Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>Now here is a true story - Irena Sendler
Died: May 12, 2008 (aged 98)
Warsaw, Poland
During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto, as a
Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an ulterior motive.
Irena smuggled Jewish infants out in the bottom of the tool box she
carried. She also carried a burlap sack in the back of her truck, for
larger kids.
Irena kept a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi
soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers, of course,
wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the
kids/infants noises.
During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500
kids/infants.
Ultimately, she was caught, however, and the Nazi's broke both of her
legs and arms and beat her severely.
Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she had smuggled out,
in a glass jar that she buried under a tree in her back yard. After the
war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived and tried
to reunite the family. Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got
placed into foster family homes or adopted.
In 2007 Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize. She was not selected.
In MEMORIAM - 65 YEARS LATER
I'm doing my small part by forwarding this message. I hope you'll
consider doing the same.
It is now more than 65 years since the Second World War in Europe ended.
This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the six
million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900
Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved
and humiliated!
Now, more than ever, with Iran , and others, claiming the HOLOCAUST to
be 'a myth'. It's imperative to make sure the world never forgets,
because there are others who would like to do it again.
This e-mail is intended to reach 40 million people worldwide!
Join us and be a link in the memorial chain and help us distribute it
around the world. Please send this e-mail to people you know and ask
them to continue thememorial chain.
Please don't just delete it.
It will only take you a minute to pass this along.
---
...An amazing woman! Thank You PatDeE!
What gets me is she was up for the Noble Peace Price,
and didn't get it - but guess who did?
http://tinyurl.com/6t3phcw
I think she was just too good for it. :)
=======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
[politics]
>From The TeaParty:
Hey Barack - What the heck are you doing to America?
http://tinyurl.com/7ewydeb
-<>-
>From AFA:
Update: Movement on Pastor Youcef -
Iranian Christian facing execution
http://tinyurl.com/89v7tzm
-<>-
>From Godfather Politics:
Obama Gestapo Arrests Group for Praying in Front of White House
http://tinyurl.com/7q2futf
I Support Income Inequality and So Should You
http://tinyurl.com/75fakmd
Obama Unemployment Figures Purposely Skewed
http://tinyurl.com/7bvobx8
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Sometimes neighbors can have annoying habits, like playing music too
loud, not bringing their garbage cans in...and slaughtering and eating
the neighborhood cats.
This little culinary curiosity happened in California, where things
tend to be pretty liberal, but where eating someone else's family pet
is apparently still crossing the line.
The unusual dining habits of 35-year-old Jason Wilmert were discovered
when neighbors said they had heard sounds of a shrieking cat.
"I heard a cat cry," one neighbor said. "It was a weird cry, real
loud." When he went outside to investigate, he saw Wilmert firing up a
burner.
"I smelled cooking. It smelled like some awful meat," he said.
A deputy later told him that Wilmert had been skinning cats alive and
eating them.
The supervising deputy district attorney would not comment on the case,
but he confirmed that, "the individual is being prosecuted for using
cats as a food source."
Which is apparently a crime.
---
...that guy has a couple screws loose! speaking of which...
Here is a perfect Valentine's Day story. It seems an 18-year-old woman
in northern Sweden has been charged with harassment after taping
pictures of her ex-boyfriend's private parts on lampposts around his
home.
I guess that would be embarrassing enough, but the scorned teen also
scrawled her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend's name and phone number on the
pictures, along with an unflattering comment about the size of his sex
organ.
I guess there was nothing in the photos to give the poor guy's johnson
any perspective.
Appalled that her former lover had ended their short relationship, the
18-year-old peppered him with text messages imploring him to rethink
matters.
On hearing that he had met a 23-year-old woman and did not want
anything more to do with her, the enraged girl re-directed her ire at
her new love rival. She began hanging up pictures of the woman, her
cleavage heavily exposed, with a note suggesting she was a "slut" who
was only interested in the 24-year-old for sex.
The 18-year-old also hurled eggs at, and affixed pictures to, her
ex-lover's car.
When she was eventually questioned by police, the woman confessed and
said she realized that what she did was wrong. On the plus side, the
man did get several promising phone calls from the posters.
*-- Man gives Valentine's kidney --*
NASHVILLE - A Chicago man is celebrating Valentine's Day by giving his
girlfriend one of the most precious gifts he has -- his kidney. Terry
Lee said his girlfriend, Trisha Beckwith, was diagnosed with the
autoimmune disease Lupus after they had been dating for about four
months and soon discovered her kidneys were not functioning, The
(Nashville) Tennessean reported Tuesday. Lee said "the decision was
easy" whey they found out his blood type was a match. "I care about
her, love her, and want her to live a normal life," he said. "The way I
measure love is this: If you take the person out of the equation, and
don't like the way your life looks without them, you are probably in
love." The couple traveled to Nashville for the Valentine's Day surgery
at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
*-- Police: Suspect was hiding crack in mouth --*
AMBRIDGE, Pa. - Police in Pennsylvania said a man seen with a bulging
lip during a traffic stop turned out to have 23 pieces of crack cocaine
in his mouth. Ambridge police said they pulled the pickup truck over at
2:38 p.m. because three men were inside but the vehicle only had
shoulder belts for two, The Beaver County (Pa.) Times reported Tuesday.
Police said a passenger, Frank Lee Turner, 56, of Ambridge, exited the
vehicle during the traffic stop and was heard mumbling with a bulging
lip when he was told to return to the truck. Officers said a piece of
crack cocaine fell from Turner's mouth while he was struggling with
them and he spat out 22 more individually wrapped pieces of crack
cocaine when they used a Taser on him. Turner was charged with
aggravated assault, resisting arrest and drug possession with intent to
deliver.
*-- Mickey Mouse spurs school lockdown --*
CANFIELD, Ohio - Administrators at an Ohio elementary school said the
facility was put on lockdown when a mysterious Mickey Mouse was spotted
at the school. Superintendent Dante Zambrini said the mother who
dressed as Mickey Mouse to surprise her daughter's class at C.H.
Campbell Elementary School in Canfield during a Tuesday Valentine's Day
party followed procedure when she signed in at the office, but she did
not tell officials of her plans to change into the Disney character
costume in a restroom and change back after making her party
appearance, The Youngstown Vindicator reported Thursday. "It was a case
of, Mickey Mouse was here, and then he was missing," Zambrini said.
"Our building principal called our school resource officer and the
building went into lockdown as a precaution." Zambrini said the
lockdown was executed perfectly and ended when officials and police
spoke to the mother and determined she had no ill intent.
*-- Suspect bummed a smoke from alleged victim --*
LEOMINSTER, Mass. - Police in Massachusetts said an accused purse
snatcher was arrested after he bummed a cigarette from his alleged
victim two days later. Leominster police said the woman, whose purse
was taken at knifepoint Saturday at the Heritage Gardens apartment
complex, recognized Malek Matos, 25, of Fitchburg, when he asked her
for a cigarette Monday outside the Registry of Motor Vehicles, the
Worcester Telegram reported Thursday. The woman told RMV employees and
they called police. Matos was arrested and charged with armed robbery.
He was ordered held in lieu of $5,000 bail.
===========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Linda :)
____________________________________________________
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______________________.--." .-. " .-. ".--._________
_____________________.--._." """ "._.--.________
_____________________.--._.-"""""""""-._.--.________
____________________.-".___.""""""""".__.--.________
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_____________________.-"._.---"""""---._.-._________
_____________________.._._.--"""-"""--._."-.________
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___________________________.--"-.-"--.______________
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>Spectacular Tricks to Teach Your Body
One of the complex machine in the world is nothing but Our human body.
There are lot of amazing things that are yet to be learned from the
human body. Not all things are know to our body, there are few cool
tricks that we can teach our body. So, let's see those cool tips...
1.) If you've got an itch in your throat, scratch your ear. When the
nerves in the ear get stimulated, they create a reflex in the throat
that causes a muscle spasm, which cures the itch.
2.) Having trouble hearing someone at a party or on the phone? Use your
right ear it's better at picking up rapid speech. But, the left is
better at picking up music tones.
3.) If you need to relieve yourself BADLY, but you're not anywhere near
a bathroom, fantasize about RELATIONS. That preoccupies your brain and
distracts it.
4.) Next time the doctor's going to give you an injection, COUGH as the
needle is going in. The cough raises the level of pressure in your
spinal canal, which limits the pain sensation as it tries to travel to
your brain.
---
...just don't cough right before or you could get a bad poke!
5.) Clear a stuffed nose or relieve sinus pressure by pushing your
tongue against the roof of your mouth then pressing a finger between
your eyebrows. Repeat that for 20 seconds it causes the vomer bone to
rock, which loosens your congestion and clears you up.
6.) If you ate a big meal and you're feeling full as you go to sleep,
lay on your left side. That'll keep you from suffering from acid reflux
it keeps your stomach lower than your esophagus, which will help keep
stomach acid from sliding up your throat.
7.) You can stop a toothache by rubbing ice on the back of your hand,
on the webbed area between your thumb and index finger. The nerve
pathways there stimulate a part of the brain that blocks pain signals
from your mouth.
8.) If you get all messed up on liquor, and the room starts spinning,
put your hand on something stable. The reason: Alcohol dilutes the
blood in the part of your ear called the cupula, which regulates
balance. Putting your hand on something stable gives your brain another
reference point, which will help make the world stop spinning.
9.) Stop a nose bleed by putting some cotton on your upper gums right
behind the small dent below your nose and press against it hard. Most
of the bleeding comes from the cartilage wall that divides the nose, so
pressing there helps get it to stop.
10.) Slow your heart rate down by blowing on your thumb. The vagus
nerve controls your heart rate, and you can calm it down by breathing.
11.) Need to breathe underwater for a while? Instead of taking a huge
breath, HYPERVENTILATE before you go under, by taking a bunch of short
breaths. That'll trick your brain into thinking it has more oxygen, and
buy you about 10 extra seconds.
12.) You can prevent BRAIN FREEZE by pressing your tongue flat against
the roof of your mouth, covering as much surface area as possible.
Brain freeze happens because the nerves in the roof of your mouth
getextremely cold, so your brain thinks your whole body is cold. It
compensates by overheating which causes your head to hurt. By warming
up the roof of your mouth, you'll chill your brain and feel better.
13.) If your hand falls asleep, rock your head from side to side. That
will wake your hand or arm up in less than a minute. Your hand falls
asleep because of the nerves in your neck compressing so loosening your
neck is the cure. If your foot falls asleep, that's governed by nerves
lower in the body, so you need to stand up and walk around.
14.) Finally, this one's totally USELESS, but a nice trick. Have
someone stick their arm out to the side, straight, palm down. Press
down on his wrist with two fingers. He'll resist, and his arm will stay
horizontal. Then, have him put his foot on a surface that's half an
inch off the ground, like a stack of magazines, and do the trick again.
Because his spine position is thrown off, his arm will fall right to
his side, no matter how much he tries to resist.
15.) Got the hiccups? Press thumb and second finger over your eyebrows
until the hiccups are over - usually shortly.
---
...Interesting Info! Thanks Linda!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Johanna :)
___
/L|0\
/ | \
/ \
/ | \
/ \
/ __ | __ \
/ __/ \__ \
/ /__ | __\ \
/___________________\
/ | \
/ _|_ \
/ ____/___\____ \
___________[o0o]___________
O O O
Paul Tomblin
>THANK YOU AMERICA !
TY101
Dear American Taxpayer
For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my
country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying
$242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain . My daughter Sasha,
several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests
had a wonderful time. Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have
stayed in a $2,500.00 per night private 3-story villa at a 5-Star luxury
hotel. Thank you also for the use of Air Force Two and the 70 Secret
Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for
at all times.
By the way, if you happen to be visiting the Costa del Sol , I highly
recommend the Buenaventura Plaza restaurant in Marbella ; great lobster
with rice and oysters! I'm ashamed to admit the lobsters we ate in
Martha's Vineyard were not quite as tasty, but what can you do if
you're not in Europe, you have to just grin and bear it?
Air Force Two (which costs $11,351 per hour to operate according to
Government Accounting Office reports) only used 47,500 gallons of jet
fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2.
These are only rough estimates, but they are close. That's quite a
carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask
the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and
drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint. I know
times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the
table and trying to make ends meet.
So I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you find work soon. I
was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation
in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few days.
Cordially, Michelle (Moochelle) Obama
P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION dollar trip to India
P.SS.Thank you, too, for that vacation trip to Martha's Vineyard; it
was fabulous.
P.SSS. Oh, I almost forgot to say thanks also for our two-week trip to
Hawaii at Christmas. That 7,000 square foot house was great! That only
cost you guys $4m. !!The Mr. wanted to do Camp David! Boring !!!!!!!!
P.SSSs don't forget my ski trip to Vail this winter and now the girls
and I are in Africa with my mom. All this while Barack golfs and
campaigns to keep our trips coming for the next 4 years ! Love ya!
Remember, we all have to share the pain of these economic times
equally! Love to -redistribute- share- the wealth.
SEND THIS TO EVERY AMERICAN NOW
STAND UP, SPEAK UP.
---
...Yeah, thanks Johanna!
==============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
? WARNING!
! /_\
|C_,_/_____|
ejm98 | ||:::::f| O+
_/\
f /|
| \~\
As scientists and concerned citizens, we applaud the recent
trend towards legislation which requires the prominent
placing of warnings on products that present hazards to
the general public. Yet we must also offer the cautionary
thought that such warnings, however well-intentioned,
merely scratch the surface of what is really necessary in
this important area. This is especially true in light of
the findings of 20th century quantum physics.
We therefore propose that the following list of warnings
appears on every product offered for sale in the United
States.
WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy
Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of
Weight.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute
Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in
Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle,"
It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same
Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast
It Is Moving. (Note: This one is optional on the grounds
that Heisenburg was never quite sure that his principle
was correct)
ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance
That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product
May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and
Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including
Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be
Responsible for Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents
Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality,
This Product Consists Of 99.999999999% Empty Space.
PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That
When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product,
It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and
Undetermined State.
HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This
Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent
on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
-<>-
American idioms don't travel well. Case in point, this email
my boss received from a Chinese businessman... "I apologize
for taking so long to get this pricing to you, but I had to
get all my ducts in the road."
-<>-
Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all
over town. That meant, as a customer service rep for the
electric company, I was dispatching repairmen right and
left.
When one lineman called a customer to get her exact address,
he was told, "I'm at Post Office Box 99."
The weary lineman replied, "Ma'am, I'll be coming to you in
a truck, not an envelope."
-<>-
.----.
| | MOOK! MOOK!
| __ |/
. |[ 8]| )
`(.(o==o).)
" "
_
O'>)
/ f< \
// / / | | \ \\
/ \ ejm/a:f
A guy was hitchhiking on a very dark and stormy night. The
night was getting on and no cars went by. Suddenly he saw a
car roll slowly toward him and stop.
Without thinking about it, the guy jumped into the back seat
and closed the door when he suddenly realized there was
nobody behind the wheel! Just then the car started slowly
rolling forward again. He was beginning to get really freaked
out when he noticed a curve in the road ahead. He was just
thinking about climbing into the front seat when a hand
mysteriously appeared through the window and moved the wheel.
The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared
every time right before a curve.
Gathering his courage, the guy finally jumped out of the car
and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he went to a
restaurant and started telling everybody about the horrible
experience he just went through.
About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same rest-
aurant. They were looking around for a table when one said to
the other, "Hey, look, isn't that the jerk who got in the car
when we were pushing it?"
-<>-
I'm sure if the customer had taken two seconds, he probably
would have come up with the answer to his question on his
own. But instead he called information.
"I'm looking for the number of a business," he said when I
picked up his call.
"What's the name of the business?" I asked.
"1-800-FLOWERS."
-<>-
A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down out-
side the operating room where another golfer who had a golf
ball driven down his throat, was being treated.
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside
the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man, "That's my ball!"
-<>-
|
|
_ |
_/=\_ |
_/=====\_ |
'-\-' / \
' , ' /(o)|
__)-(____ /|^^^|
/ <\/> __/_|\/^|
/ /| : | /__|^^^|
/ / | : |/___|^^^|
/_/ }===={)___|^^^|\ .-.
((' |) (| )__|^^^|_\ ______/o )
\\ | | )_|^^^|/ \----- ( / _____
'\ | | | \|^^^| \ / \ // |||||
___\| | |____|^^^|__________\ / \\\\///__|||||
/___)| | |___///|\\\_____=____\_/(___\\)/___|()||
/___( |__|_|__////|\\\\ __ ___-______| | \____|||||
/__=__)(___)__)^^^^^^^^^( ;__________| |______|||||
/_____(___________________)___________" "____=__|||||
________________________________________________|||||
|||||
_________
|OOShy
When I was a child my family used to sometimes take our
vacations, in British Columbia. In those days all Canadians
appreciated their American neighbors. We had a favorite
place to visit, mostly because of the fine fishing. It was
at a Lake that was about 30 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide.
While we were around our campfire in the evening the local
Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They
would also tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend
always stuck in my mind.
It seemed that on this particular Lake two Indian Tribes
made their homes. They were, however, at War, with one
another from years before.
There was an Indian Maiden in one Camp who was in love with
a young Brave in the other Camp. They used to stand, on the
shore, each on their respective side of the Lake, and chant
Indian love calls to each other...even though they were
warned by their Chiefs that nothing could ever come of it.
One day they just could not stand being apart any longer.
That evening, on a cold Fall night, they each jumped into
the Lake and swam towards each other in the Moonlight. When
they reached each other in the center of the Lake, they
embraced and, very quickly, froze to death. This act so im-
pressed the Brave's Tribe that they named the Lake after the
young man.
I will never forget those wonderful vacations that we spent
at "Lake Stupid".
=========================================================
,-`"-=')
=/////// ,==
_,_(((((-`6\ ==.|
/,,...\\\C _| .--.
((((\\\\\` _, /;_|
)9 )))))./ `. / }
_\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-.
,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \
(,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \
(/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,-
/ ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_)
/\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% |
_/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\|
`-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._)
gpyy
>-->ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the
species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats
backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it
made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and
caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water again is
called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame
in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what
you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against
insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than
it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called
an obscene triangle.
When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you
get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it
gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over
the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until
the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon
monoxide.
=========================================================
>-->From JokeCentral:
,
`.-- .,-"" .
._,' . _,. `.
, / .'.oo`.. `. `- .__.-'
:: .; "-()-"`. \.-. /
doida ; /'". ,"`'. "-- "-"
.': : `----' "-"
'
>GROANERS:
"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy
said to his grandmother on his dad's side. "Now
maybe mother will do the trick she has been
promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What
trick is that?" she asked.
"I heard her tell daddy," the little boy
answered, "that she would climb the walls if you
came to visit." (Kevin Rayner)
"Alpha sector, this is Tango sector. How you
doing out there, Alpha?"
"Tango, Alpha. Its cold, I'm hungry, and I'm sick
of this whole thing.When will there be peace in
South Africa?"
"It takes Tutu, Tango." (Jason Dias)
Marcel Marceau owned a fabulous restaurant on the
coast of Maine that specialized in the local
seafood. Theirparticular speciality was their
superb version of "Filet of Sole". Customers came
from to enjoy the fine food and be greeted by the
owner in pantomime. The kitchen staff were also
masters of the art of pantomime. A sign over the
kitchen entrance read, "These are the mimes that
fry Maine's soles." (Ken Pinkham)
A beautiful blonde woman and her husband were at
home one night. The husband notices his wife
standing in front of the fridge with the freezer
section open. She is standing there with a dead
pan look on her face STARING into the freezer.
Her husband watches her awhile she continues
standing not moving not blinking just staring
into the freezer compartment!
Finally after 10 minutes of witnessing her
staring and staring straight into the freezer he
can take no more. He says to his beautiful blonde
wife "Honey, What in the hell are you doing?"
She says, "making orange juice".
"Making orange juice", he asks her, baffled.
"Yes", she says, "It says, 'concentrate'."
(William Brabant)
This woman was talking to her friend when she got
back from her recent trip to Spokane, Washington.
Her friend asked her how she liked Spokane.
She answered, "I don't know, I never got there."
So the friend says, "You never got there...what
do you mean?"
She answers, "You know me, I have to stop at
every rest area and they all say 'clean
bathrooms', well, it takes longer that you
think!" (Doug Helsel)
I went to this bar in San Francisco. There was a
small stage where a girl was dancing. Since there
was no other customer there, the bartender was in
a talkative mood. He told me he employed twin
girls named Shelly and Jan to dance on the stage.
Since they were working their way through
college,
they took turns dancing. One day Shelly danced
there and the next day Jan danced there. I asked
him which one was on the stage that day and he
replied, "It must be Shelly 'cause Jan don't
shake like that." (Jack Darcy)
Penny dropped in on her neighbor and found her
sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at
a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids
squabbling loudly in the other room. "What's
wrong?" she asked.
The neighbor told her that she had "morning
sickness." Surprised, the neighbor said, "I
didn't even know you were pregnant again!" "I'm
not," the harried young woman replied, "I'm just
sick of mornings." (William Brabant)
My grandson, Chris, has worn glasses since the
age of three. When he was in the first grade he
came home one day very distressed. Wanting to
find out what was the matter, his mother asked,
"Chris, what happened today to upset you so
much?"
He answered, "It's not fair -- I'm not allowed
to go to the library."
His mother became very concerned and asked, "Why
aren't you allowed to go to the library?"
With a tearful reply he said, "Because, in order
to go to the library you have to have
supervision, and I wear glasses!"
(William Brabant)
Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he
told the warden he wasn't worried at all about
serving his full term. The warden asked him why,
since most prisoners immediately start planning
how they can get out early.
Jimmy replied, "Well, my wife has never let me
finish a sentence the whole time I've been
married!" (Tim Davis)
I have high blood pressure. And I hate talking
about it. And I hate, most of all, going to the
doctors' office. My doctor required that I come
to see him twice monthly for blood pressure
monitoring and, of course, I tried to get out of
it. "I really don't want to come here that
often," I said.
He replied, "Get used to dis appointment." (Jason
Dias)
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said
the teacher. Little Johnny answered: "The fireman
came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher
took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said Johnny confidently. - "It means
carrying a child."
There was a man in Florida who raised "see cows"
or manatees. He soon had so many of them that he
stopped giving them names and just assigned them
letters of the alphabet. A, B, C, etc. He let
them all swim free in the lagoon beside his
house. Except for "U", which he kept in a special
pen. I guess he was afraid of losing his "U"
manatee. (William Brabant)
-<>-
___
,-'" "`-.
,'_ `.
/ / \ ,- \
__ | \_0 --- | JOKE - Get It?
/ | | |
\ \ `--.______,-/ |
___) \ ,--"" ,/ |
/ _ \ \-_____,- /
\__-/ \ | `. ,'
\___/ < ´--------'
\__/\ | Wny
\__//
>Blondes - this is a J-O-K-E; therefore, do not read! - J.R.
***********************************************************
New viruses out there.....
Be on the lookout for the following viruses
CLINTON VIRUS
Gives you a 7 inch Hard Drive with NO memory
VIAGRA VIRUS
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
LEWINSKY VIRUS
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails
everyone about what it did
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
Saves your data but forgets where it is stored
MIKE TYSON VIRUS
Quits after two bytes
OPRA WINFREY VIRUS
Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB,
then slowly expands to 200MB
DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
Deletes all old files
ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
Disks can no longer be inserted
TITANIC VIRUS(A strain of Lewinsky virus)
Your whole computer goes down
DISNEY VIRUS
Everything in your computer goes Goofy
PROZAC VIRUS
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care
JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS
Only attacks minor files
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy,
then discards it - through Windows
OBAMA VIRUS
Redistributes your hard drive so large files are allocated
less disk space and gives smaller files more allocated space
confusing the FAT system so the hard drive cannot boot up.
-<>-
>It's PUNny
TOM SWIFTIES
.-----. ()()
/ \ .'()
|__...__|/
|_....._|
.-' ___ '-.
\_.-`. .`-._/
__ .--. _ (|\ (_) /|)
.-;.-"-.-;`_;-, ( \_=_/ )
.(_( `)-;___),-;_), _(_ _)_
(.( `\.-._)-.( ). ) /` ||'-'|| `\
,(_`'--;.__\ _).;--'`_) _ /_/ (_>o<_) \_\
// )`--..__ ``` _( o )'(';,)\_//| || : || |\\
\;' ````` `\\ '.\\--' |`"""""""`|//
/ ':.___// \___,___/\_(
| '---'| |__|__|
; ; ;""|"";
\ / [] | []
'. .' .' / \ '.
jgs'-,.__ __.,-' `--' `--'
(___/`````````\___)
"That leprechaun is not telling the truth," Tom
implied.. (Simon Champion)
"I'm going to expand my formal garden," Tom said
morosely. (E. J. Carter)
"I need to be careful not to add too much water,"
Tom said with great concentration..
(Simon Champion)
"I'm getting a television job holding cue cards,"
Tom answered promptly. (Lawless)
"I just married a lioness - look at my wedding
ring!" roared Leo, with wild abandon..
(Simon Champion)
"The bar was out of drinks," said Tom
dispiritedly. (Davie Crocket)
"I'll cast myself in plaster," Tom said, hoping
to make a good impression.(M I E)
"I hate grape beverages," Tom whined with
clarity. (Simon Champion)
"Let's stay ahead of the other boat," the captain
said sternly. (Paul Dickson)
"I upholstered this chair using only Velcro," Tom
said tactlessly. (Stan Kegel)
"You gave me two less than a dozen," he said
tensely. (Paul Dickson)
"I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish..
(Simon Champion)
"I let her in without a ticket," Tom admitted.
(Stan Kegel)
OTHERS
Did you hear about the guy who wouldn't go to an
Eagle's concert becausehe was afraid of heights!
(Dunjan Seraf)
Did you hear about the guy who wouldn't go see
Hole because he was claustrophobic. (Jason Dias)
Did you hear about the guy who wouldn't go see
the Moody blues because he got enough of those
from his teenagers at home. (Jason Dias)
A site selling 80 kinds of cookies and a beverage
to go with: 80 & TEA (Cynthia MacGregor)
Warning on a bottle of drain cleaner: "If you do
not understand, or cannot read, all directions,
cautions and warnings, do not use this product."
(Irene A. Mystery)
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"Ah, we've cornered him at last." (Paul Dickson)
"Waiter, what is this fly doing in my alphabet
soup?" "Learning to read?" (Paul Dickson)
“Waiter, there's a hair in my soup.”
“That's not soup, it's rabbit stew!”
(Norman Gilbert)
"Waiter, there's a twig in my soup!"
"I'll inform the branch manager." (Martin Flack)
"Waiter, there's a dead fly swimming in my soup!"
"Nonsense, sir, dead flies can't swim."
(Paul Dickson)
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"
"If you wanted him with dessert, why didn't you
say so" (Paul Dickson)
"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"Dunno, sir, looks like the breaststroke."
(Paul Dickson)
-<>-
m
/
\C \
_ /`--|)---- \_ O__/
\`\ `\/_\
`` /_ \\
` \ BP
-' fencers
>Rules of Combat [this works for some spiritual battles too]
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
There is always a way.
The easy way is always mined.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
- When you're ready for them.
- When you're not ready for them.
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you
won't be able to get out.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
-<>-
.+.
@
/' \. .:
_______ )) ( _:::.__.'_
`:::::: ~ / ,\ .::'
:::::' \` \ .'::'
:::' ('.\ `-.. :.
__::'_______`-.\ ))::._
.'``::::::::: `-'~'
`:::' a:f
>What about The Queen?
We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our
church. Several former pastors and the bishop
were in attendance. At one point, our minister
had the children gather at the altar for a talk
about the importance of the day.
He began by asking them, "Does anyone know what
the Bishop does?
There was a long silence. Finally, one little
boy slowly raised his hand and answered gravely,
"He's the one you can move diagonally."
By way of Reader's Digest (www.rd.com)
-<>-
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
21. One to change the bulb and 20 to shoot down the electrician
-<>-
.-.
## )
*
_.-+*'`*+-._
,## _ _ #.
;### ((.;;.)) ##:
.=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=,
>##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###<
---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l
`-""-'
>Bigger Piece
One night at the dinner table, the wife
commented, "When we were first married, you took
the small piece of steak and gave me the larger.
Now you take the large one and leave me the
smaller; You don't love me any more..."
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you
just cook better now."
=========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Boys To President
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boystopres.html
Bible: Which Parts are Written To You?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/whichparts.html
Fawn Rescue
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fawnrescue.html
Lets Dance!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dance.html
Who Is WE?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoiswe.html
Flower Dog Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerart2.html
Awesome Photos
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/awesome.html
Amazing Bike Car
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bikecar.html
Celebrities Then And Now
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrities.html
Look Who's Talking 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking5.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda :)
Why there were no Fitness centers in the 50s
http://tinyurl.com/ybd9oet
---
...Cool! Thanks Linda!
Notice the ladies aren't wearing stupid stilts - they can move it!
It's called GLASS
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=6Cf7IL_eZ38&vq=medium
---
...WoW! Indeed! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
(Dang -- my tablet won't do that)
http://www.20min.ch/ro/videotv/?vid=229397&cid=138
---
...Wow - pretty neat! Yhanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Sharon :)
She sent us one we have here...
Lily And Maddison
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatdanes.htm
---
...A heartwarming reminder! Thanks Sharon!
-<>-
>From Our Friend JDR :)
The music is so perfect with this.
Dog and Horse
http://www.wimp.com/puppyhorse/
---
...Such a cute one! Thanks JDR!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Brenda :)
Lady Juggler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N914iZJwMq0
---
...Geesh! Good stuff! Thanks Brenda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Bunni :)
Wow this broke my heart ....we are doomed !!
You'll need a hanky 4 sure
The End Of Civilization
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIgIWL-qElM
---
...So sad! And It works both ways too! Thanks Bunni!
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Break.Com
http://www.break.com
Learn to draw and more
http://www.drawspace.com
Maxine Humor!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor.html
Army In Iraq
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=fvwp&v=3OykPqYPugs
Army-Beach Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWmOaBqy8Qo
Visit Melissa's Online Store
You can get anything you want (except for Melissa ) at
the online store
http://pdhomes.net/mall/babylissa/mySTORES/ISELL4.html
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
==============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Jet Blue has apologized now for stranding thousands of
passengers and today, Jet Blue's president introduced a
passenger bill of rights. First on the list is 'You have
the right to fly Delta and United.'" -Conan O'Brien
"There's an asteroid heading toward the earth and we're all
going to die. There is! Scientists are saying there's a 1
in 45,000 chance of an asteroid hitting the earth in 2036.
Now an asteroid is a giant rock. It's headed toward the
earth. We should send up a giant piece of paper. We couldn't
send scissors; that would be impractical." -Craig Ferguson
"We have a new recipe for an exotic gourmet dinner. First,
take two credit cards..." --Bessie and Beulah
"I'm really upset with the restaurant parking attendants.
They won't validate my feelings." --Scott Wood
"Our four-year-old Candice inquired, 'When our goldfish die
could we take them out and eat them?'" --Bobbi Bourbonnais
"I have a friend whose life is so boring, he has a bumper
sticker on his car that says, 'Hit me. I need the excite-
ment.'" --Bill Jones
"I hate waking up every morning to my alarm. I always bang
my head on the steering wheel." --Scott Wood
"Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half
full, I say, are you going to drink that?" --Lisa Claymen
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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