Happy Sadie Hawkins Day... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This sizzling hot new page is from our friend Linda. It is one to tickle your funny bone and give you some SMILES for your day. Be sure to check it and the video out here... .---. .--. ___/ \ / `.-"" `-, ; ; / O O \ / `. \ /-' _ J-.__; _.' (" / `. -=: `: `, -=| | F\ i, ; -| | | | || \_J fsc mmm! `mmM Mmm' Only In Africa http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onlyinafrica.html --- ...LOL! Such a rib tickler! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: Seem to be or not seem to be.... \ ,,,,,, /e ''( (_ ` \ ___> \ / ,_\-.___ \_ / _)/ / \ | \ / ` _ | __\____/ / ' | / _ /______/ / _/ \,_____/o ( \__)/` \ / \__________/_/_ _/ \ \ )/ \ / / | /\ ( \_____/ ___/ \ \ _/ \ ______/_/___|_| ) \ / / o\ o\ / / /\ b'ger,,,'-----^--',,,,,,',,|_,,\_ ,,\/,, Two archeologists, exploring a remote mountain in Tibet came across a huge granite statue which resembled a sitting man. It stood almost 400 foot tall, and its bodily details were accurate down to the fingernails and teeth. "It looks real enough to talk," says one. "Lets try," says the other and turning to the statue he asks it its name. No answer. "How old are you?" No answer. Finally. one shouts out, "What is the square root of 64?" Suddenly, the mountain shakes as the giant statue rises onto its feet and puts its hand on its chin. Then after about ten seconds, the statue answers in a roaring voice, "Eight." "Of course!" says the scientist, "... It only stands to reason." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ November 13 is Caregiver Appreciation Day, National Indian Pudding Day, Sadie Hawkins Day and World Kindness Day November 14 is Operating Room Nurse Day, World Diabetes Day and Young Readers Day November 15 is Clean Your Refrigerator Day, America Recycles Day and National Philanthropy Day November 16 is Button Day, Great American Smokeout, Have a Party With Your Bear Day, International Tolerance Day and National Fast Food Day November 17 is Electronic Greeting Card Day, Homemade Bread Day, Take A Hike Day and World Peace Day November 18 is National Adoption Day ======================================================= .,,-~&, ,~"~. { /___/\`. > :::: { `}'~.~/\ \ ` ` <, ?::; {`}'\._/ ) } ) ) l_ f ,__/ l_,'-/ .'.' ,__}--{_. { `.__.' ( / } \ \ ) ) / ! \-\`-'`-' / , 1 J; ` ` \ \___l,-_,___.' /1 ! Y ) ) k____-~'-l_____.' | l / .'.' /===#==\ l f .' `. I===I=I ,' ,' `.`. f } ,' ,' / \ `.`. | } .'^.^.^.'`.'`.^.'`.'`.^. l Y; `. \ } | !`, \ | | l / } ,1 | l/ / !l ,l / ,' ! \ \ / /! ! \ \ ' ' / ,f l l___j. \ ( ( (_ \l_ `_ ,.-'`--( `.,'`. `.`. Y\__Y`--' `-'~x__J j' > ,/ ,^' f__J mab'95 >-->Happy Sadie Hawkins Day! It's Sadie Hawkins Day. It is the day a woman can ask a man out for a date or a dance. I think women can now do that any day they like, but today's the day they can do it without the guilt and passive aggression. - Craig Ferguson Don't confuse Sadie Hawkins Day with Stephen Hawkins Day. That is when girls are allowed to ask guys about the basic principles of theoretical physics. - Craig Ferguson -<>- >Top Ten Ways to Ask Guys to Sadie Hawkins/Corrigan Some of our local schools have Sadie Hawkins dances, or Corrigan Week. Figuring out creative ways to ask somebody to the dance can be hard. Look no further, I’ve found some great ideas. Here are my favorite top ten ways to ask a guy to Sadie Hawk http://tinyurl.com/ya5kk2lp =========================================================== >-->From GoodCleanFun: . .. __..---/______//-----. (( ) .".--.```| - /.--. =: ( VROOM! )) (.: {} :__L______: {} :__; __--( __- -_= ) *--* *--* jnh >Oil Change A young woman drove into the garage where I had a part time job. She told me this was her first car, and it was time for an oil change. Wanting only the best for her prized possession, she'd brought her own filter and oil. When I crawled under the car, she watched my every move. After the old oil was drained, she gave me the new filter, saying she had bought the very best product for her car after overhearing a conversation between her mother and a neighbor on the subject of oil. With a confident smile, she handed me two cans of Pure Extra Virgin Olive Oil. -<>- >Frequent Flyer As a frequent flier, I get annoyed when other passengers disregard the airline attendant's plea to stay seated when the plane taxies to the gate. One attendant captured my heart by announcing: "The captain will be parking the aircraft at Gate 41 in approximately two minutes. I've seen the captain's car. So if I were you, I'd remain seated." -<>- >Smarter Clerk In a department store, a difficult customer and a very patient clerk were having a hard time getting together. Nothing the clerk provided was suitable. Finally, the finicky shopper said in annoyance, "Can't you find a smarter clerk to serve me?" "No," said the saleswoman. "The smarter clerk saw you coming and disappeared." -<>- >Impressions A wealthy man commissioned Pablo Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the nonrepresentational image on the final canvas, the woman's husband complained, "It isn't how she really looks." When asked by the painter how she really looked, the man produced a photograph from his wallet. Returning the photograph Pablo observed, "Small, isn't she?" -<>- >Lost Cell Phone My wife called me after driving to an appointment. She arrived and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in, followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) .------. :|||"""`.`. :||| 7.`. .===+===+===+===+===||`----L7'-`7`---.._ [] || == | """-. []...._____.........||........../ _____ ____| c\____/,---.\_ ||_________/ /,---.\_ _/ hjw /_,-/ ,-. \ `._____|__________||/ ,-. \ \_[ /\ `-' / /\ `-' / `---' `---' >SMILES A large truck was tailing my son as he drove through town with a female classmate. The truck matched them, turn for turn, down every street. My son's concern grew to alarm when the menacing- looking driver pulled next to him at a light, leaned out his window, and glared into his car. After a long, hard stare, the man grinned and called to my son, "Sorry, kid, I thought that was my daughter." ---------- The doctor approached the teenage boy’s hospital bed to give him a psychiatric evaluation. His mother was seated nearby, immersed in her knitting. The doctor started to introduce himself, but the boy yelled, "I can’t see! I can’t see!" The doctor had never seen a more classic example of hysterical blindness! He asked the mother, "How long has this been going on?" Without looking up from her knitting, she replied, "Ever since you stepped between him and the TV!" ---------- I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager, sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors -- green, red, orange and blue. My dad kept staring at her. The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time. When the teenager had enough, she sarcastically asked, "What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food -- so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one! In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid... "Got stoned once and made it with a parrot. I was just wondering if you might be my kid." -------- >QUOTES: Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield Money can't buy you happiness... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress - Will Rogers Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal And the cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good spit it out. --- ...LOL! Good ones Indeed! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friends LouiseAu And Linda :) _ (_) _ _ .=. (_) (_) _ //(`)_ //`\/ |\ 0`\\ ||-.\_|_/.-|| )/ |_____| \( _ 0 #/\ /\# 0 (_) _| o o |_ _ ((|, ^ ,|)) (_) `||\_/||` || _ || _ | \_/ | (_) 0.__.\ /.__.0 `._ `"` _.' jgs / ; \ \ 0'-' )/`'-0 0` >Chuckles! My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. -<>- For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake. -<>- There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage. -<>- An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." -<>- I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?" Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often? -<>- Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately. -<>- All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card. -<>- Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -<>- Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?" Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man." Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives." Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!" -<>- Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny." Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute." -<>- John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, dear," he said. "Of course, John," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob." "But I thought you hated Bob," she said. With his last breath John said, "I do!" -<>- A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife.. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. Would you like my advice?" The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison." --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Honoring Those Who Served http://tinyurl.com/y9kbcekh Honoring Veterans Day by Making Progress for Veterans - Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin in The Hill In honor of Veterans Day, Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin writes on the importance of “reflect[ing] on the sacrifices of those who have served this nation,” and comments on the recent "redoubling" of efforts by Veterans Affairs to assist those who have worn the uniform. http://tinyurl.com/ybm8xj56 On the anniversary of President Trump’s election, Vice President Mike Pence writes in USA Today about the many accomplishments of President Trump and his Administration in the last ten months, commenting, “it’s been a year that will be remembered as the time we began to Make American Great Again.” http://tinyurl.com/ybmmt4zt Trump Thanks ‘Deplorables’ Who Voted for Him a Year Ago - The New York Post On Wednesday, President Trump thanked all of the American citizens who cast their vote for him one year ago. The term "deplorables" was in reference "to Clinton’s calling Trump supporters a 'basket of deplorables' during last year’s campaign." http://tinyurl.com/y842xrp5 Latest From TrueDailyNews: http://truedaily.news/ Latest From RightAlerts.com http://rightalerts.com/homepage/right-alerts-daily-am/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: If you gave birth after your husband crashed the car on the way to the hospital, what would you name the baby? Ying Shi of San Diego found herself in just such a situation. Her husband, Hongwei Zhang lost control of his vehicle and slammed into several concrete barriers. He immediately called 911 but he was having difficulty explaining where they were, so he ran into traffic and frantically flagged down a passing car, waving his arms and standing in front of it to get the driver to stop. Lucky for the couple, the driver was a registered nurse who had just finished her shift and was heading home. "He was saying, 'My wife, my wife!' The next thing he said was, 'The baby came!'" recalled Dayna Dumont, who works in the emergency department at Scripps Memorial Hospital. Dumont said the couple's car looked like it was totaled, with both airbags deployed. Inside, in the front seat, Dumont found Ying Shi, a no-longer-pregnant woman. Her baby girl was already out. After paramedics arrived, Dumont held the baby in place as a medic cut the umbilical cord. Zhang and Shi didn't want to be interviewed, but issued a statement through the hospital, thanking all those who helped them. And the name of the baby? Did they name it Crash? Asphalt? Impact? Nope. They named her Anna. -<>- A court ordered a woman to get counseling after admitting to having s@x with her mother and getting married to her, according to court documents in Oklahoma. 26-year-old Misty Velvet Dawn Spann of Duncan pleaded guilty to incest at the Stephens County District Court. Spann's mother, 44-year-old Patricia Ann Spann, was also charged with incest. Patricia pleaded not guilty to the charge and is set to go on trial at a later date. According to the police investigation, Patricia lost custody of her three children and they lived with a grandparent. Recently, the children reunited with their mother. Patricia married one of her sons but claimed she was not having s@x with him. A court annulled the marriage. Patricia then started spending time with Misty. Patricia told a Department of Human Services worker that she and her daughter hit it off instantly. The two then got married. Patricia claimed that she was not violating any laws because her name was not listed on her daughter's birth certificate. After police arrested Misty, she filed for an annulment. Misty told the court that her mother led her to believe that they were not committing any crime by getting married and having s@x. --- ...We all need a long hot soapy bath after that! *----------- Weaponized Prune Juice -----------* A husband and wife in Texas were surprised to find a mess in one of their bedrooms. Terry Watkins of Corsicana said that his wife and pets were home when she heard a large explosion. She walked into the bedroom, where she noticed that the fridge's door blew off and prune juice was everywhere. Watkins said that he and his wife have been shopping daily at their neighborhood Brookshire's supermarket for several years. Last month, Watkins bought a bottle of Brookshire's prune juice. The bottle of prune juice was placed inside a mini fridge in the bedroom. The bottle had been opened and about one cup of prune juice was consumed when it suddenly exploded. The explosion blew off the fridge door and scattered prune juice in the bedroom. Watkins filed a complaint with Brookshire's and they offered him a free bottle of prune juice. He rejected the offer because he did not want another 'bomb' in his house, Watkins said. But the real mystery in this story is; who keeps a refrigerator in the bedroom? *----------- The Dangers of Alcohol -----------* Casey Lynn Willey, 27, was being removed from the Gainesville, Florida, nightclub by a bouncer when she allegedly struck him with the case of beer. Willey was being removed from the club because she refused to leave after the country music nightclub had closed after 3 a.m. Authorities handcuffed her, but she tried to escape while police conducted an investigation. She also refused to give her name or date of birth, and was violent toward officers. Willey eventually gave authorities the information they needed before aggressively stepping toward an officer. The bouncer did not wish to press charges. Willey was arrested, charged with disorderly conduct (and abuse of alcohol). Fortunately there were no injuries because she hit the bouncer with...wait for it...Lite beer! *-------------- Real-life Iron Man--------------* A British entrepreneur in an Iron Man-like getup set a new Guinness World Record for fastest speed in a body-controlled jet engine powered suit. Richard Browning, founder and chief test pilot of Gravity Industries, took flight in celebration of Guinness World Records Day at Lagoona Park in Reading, England. Browning reached a speed of 32.02 mph on his third and final attempt, which ended with him dropping into the park's lake. The speed was sufficient to help the real-life Iron Man soar into the record book. The inventor said his suit, which is controlled strictly through human body movements, features six kerosene-fueled micro gas turbines. Browning said he had to prepare for the attempt by performing core strength exercises so he had the muscle power to balance and hold his position in the air. "I am delighted we have set the record. I'm very proud indeed to be a part of Guinness World Records Day, it is a pleasure and a privilege to have our unique creation recognized and celebrated all round the world," Browning said. *--------------- Special Delivery ---------------* A teenager admitted to exposing himself to a mail carrier because she was tractive, according to police in Florida. The Indian River County Sheriff's Office said that they have arrested 19-year-old Thomas Patrick Spencer after being accused of pleasuring himself in front of the female employee who was delivering mail. On Saturday, at around 4:30 p.m., the woman noticed a Toyota Tundra following her near the South Gate Village Mobile Home Park located at 750 12th Street. The woman ignored the vehicle and continued making her deliveries. A few minutes later, the pickup truck drove by next to her, made a U-turn and stopped. Spencer then rolled down the window and stared at the woman. When the woman looked through the window, she was able to see Spencer's private parts and observed that he was pleasuring himself. The woman wrote down Spencer's plate numbers and called the police. Police went to Spencer's home and he was arrested. During questioning by police, Spencer admitted to following the woman and exposing himself to her because he thought she was attractive. --- ...Yet ANOTHER Long Hot Soapy Bath needed!!! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Karen :) .'|_.- .' ' /_ .-" -. '> .- -. -. '. / /|_ .-.--.-. ' > / / (o( o( o ) \_." < '-'-''-' ) < ( _.-'-. ._\. _\ '----"/--.__.-) _- \| AoS "V"" "V" >A fishy story What is life like under the sea? Is it a dogfish eat dogfish world? Is everyone united for a common porpoise? Or do they all split off in their own special groupers? Well, one tragic story indicates it's not so perfect down there. There was once a brilliant sturgeon on the staff of the community health fishility. He was in fact one of it's flounders. Wiser than salmon, a fin fellow who would never shrimp from his responsibilities, he was successful and happy and always whistled a happy tuna. One day one of his patients, a mere whipper snapper, started trouting around telling everyone the sturgeon's treatments had made him more eel than he had been and he conked him with a malpractice suit. Well, the sturgeon was in a real pickeral. The board chased him off the staff and demanded his oyster. But fortunately the case smelt to high heaven so the judge denied the plaintiff's clam. The board tried to hire the sturgeon back but by then he had hit the bottlenose pretty hard. But what's really shad about the story is that the sturgeon ended up on squid-row! --- ...Oh Gee! LOL! Great one! Thanks Karen! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: | m1a | | / | \ \ | / . --\|/-- , '--|___|--' ,--|___|--, ' /\o o/\ ` + + + ` ' We found a spider in the house and my girlfriend told me to take it out instead of killing it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer. -<>- When my wife gets upset, sometimes a simple 'Calm down, Honey' in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot more upset. -<>- My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite "adult" restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old's antics and pounded the table. Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, "If you don't start behaving, you'll never eat out with us again!" The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. "Look dear," he said. "Quality time!" -<>- [This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...] A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and his wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been. After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin'." So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared." At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on fancy schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why every- body knows pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!" -<>- Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?" The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars." "I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?" "Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear." "Well, you can't be disappointed with that!" "Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars." "Incredible... so how come you look so glum?" "Well, this week...nothing!" -<>- Even though my Ecuadoran son-in-law is fluent in English, he translates some figures of speech too literally. When I commented that he and my daughter are about the same age, but she looks much younger, he agreed. "Yes," he said. "A lot of people think I stole the crib." -<>- While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight- year-old son. Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember, run to Daddy first, then the dog." -<>- If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free....you either married it or gave birth to it. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: I am not a crook! \ \ , | , \ / ,,_--_, \./ ,// _ _\ \./ ;;\ // x x /;;; \ \ | _\ / / \ \ \ o / / / \ `-'\__/-' / \ \/ / | /\ | | |//|| | \/ | .--'-----'-----. /| | / | | | | ,d888b, | | | J8888888L | :F_P: | | 888888888 | >Signs Your Candidate is Under-qualified..... 10. Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!" 9. Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii. 8. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing." 7. Their #1 choice to work with them is "That Bob Vila guy." 6. Outstanding record in government service nullified by the fact that no one really cares. 5. Anybody mentions Washington, they ask, "The State or the DC thingie?" 4. At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?!?" 3. Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all. 2. On the very first question of the debate, they attempt to use a LIFELINE. 1. His name is ___Insert your favorite choice here___ -<>- >QUOTES FROM THE FIFTIES 1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20." 2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one." 3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous." 4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?" 5) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store." 6) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 40 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage." 7) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president." 8) "Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?" 9) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now." 10) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where some married women are having to work to make ends meet." 11) "Did you know the new church in town is allowing women to wear slacks to their service?" 12). "Why in the world would you want to send your daughter to college? Isn't she going to get married? It would be different if she could be a doctor or a lawyer." 13) "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel." 14) "If a few idiots want to risk their necks flying across the country that's fine, but nothing will ever replace trains." 15) "We won't be going out much anymore. Our sitter informed us she wants 50 cents an hour. Kids think money grows on trees." -<>- ___ ,-'" "`-. ,'_ `. / / \ ,- \ __ | \_0 --- | / | | | \ \ `--.______,-/ | ___) \ ,--"" ,/ | / _ \ \-_____,- / \__-/ \ | `. ,' \___/ < ´--------' \__/\ | Wny \__// ** ODD SIGNS FROM ENGLAND ** IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain? QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work) ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Animals In Fall! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsinfall.html My Catty Life! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catlife.html We've All Been There! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbox.html Aww Animals 5! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html Cat In A Box http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html Cat Motivational Posters http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catposters.html All Occasion Cakes 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/aocakes2.html When Artists Get Bored http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/abored.html Best Parents http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestparents.html Beautiful Grand Canyon! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grandcanyon.html Colorful Fish! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fish.html Whale Rescue 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whalerescue2.html Underwater Life of Eilat!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/underwater.html -<>- >From TruthOrTradition: What does the Bible say about war? http://tinyurl.com/yblap4kc The Bible and Civil Law http://www.truthortradition.com/articles/the-bible-and-civil-law -<>- >From Themouth: All About The Movies You Love or Hate http://www.screenjunkies.com/ MARRY YOUR PET So, you adore your pet, consult him when channel switching and give him fresh fish every Sunday. But if you really love him and you're in this for life, isn't it time you married your pet? Check out their disclaimer: Although we are happy to marry you, we cannot guarantee that you will be happy. MarryYourPet is in no way responsible for anything nasty occurring. If your marriage breaks down or he wees on your best rug, it's entirely your own problem. Marry your pet today at: http://marryyourpet.com SQUIRREL FISHING Presenting, a Harvard University Division of Engineering and Applied Sciences study... http://www.eecs.harvard.edu/~yaz/en/squirrel_fishing.html -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Revisiting... There is amazing beauty to be found underwater. This incredible footage comes from off the coast of Fiji and Tonga. There's everything from colorful coral reefs to majestic whales. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcbHKAWIk3I&feature=player_embedded I've heard that every Marine is a rifleman, but I didn't know that every Marine was also an awesome dancer! It doesn't surprise me. Our Marines are trained to prevail in any environment, including the dance floor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ay5TIWhgWKc Ben Seidman not only amazes us, he also makes us laugh! Even though Penn & Teller knew how the magic trick was done, he still fooled us! Ben Seidman is a professional magician based in Los Angeles, CA, who currently travels around the world performing at corporate events, private parties, theaters, and colleges. In 2015, he was voted Entertainer of the Year for Princess Cruises and Best Small Venue Artist for Campus Activities Magazine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg13nJdQAy8 --- ...Pretty Awesome! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A survey conducted by Durex Condoms found that Americans have s@x an average of ninety-seven times per year. That means I have ninety-seven things on my to-do list. The sad part is it's almost December." -Conan O'Brien "I think we ought to go ahead and make 'zillion' a real number. 'Gazillion' too. A zillion could be ten million trillions, and a gazillion could be a trillion zillions. It seems to me it's time to do this." -George Carlin "Here's something that I don’t get. The CBS miniseries on Ronald Reagan has been pulled because it is too controversial. That's too controversial, but they had no problem with the Hitler movie?" -David Letterman "Why do they call miniature versions of candy bars fun size? I don't know who's idea it was to call something that's smaller, 'fun size,' but I'm sure it wasn't a woman." -Jay Leno "The Winter Olympics are just 100 days away! That means you have just 100 days to pretend you understand curling." -Jimmy Fallon "There's an event company that specializes in fake weddings. The idea is that many young people don't want to get married but they do want a wedding, so the company puts on a fake ceremony and a fake reception. I can't imagine writing 'Will attend' on an RSVP for a fake wedding. There are already weddings for people who don't want to get married - they're called weddings." -Jimmy Kimmel "Over the weekend a woman gave birth in a Barnes & Noble bookstore. Out of habit the parents briefly looked over the newborn baby and then went home and bought a cheaper baby on Amazon." -Conan O'Brien "Finally, I saw that Starbucks just unveiled its holiday cups, which had illustrations that customers can color in themselves. It's perfect for people who are too busy to make their own coffee at home, yet still have enough time to color in a coffee cup." -Jimmy Fallon "Amazon has unveiled a new way to view its products in 3-D. Amazon is calling its new invention a 'store.'" -Conan O'Brien "Every appliance with a clock should have a Daylight Savings button to push. You'd only use it twice a year, but that's more than I use the 'Potato' button on my microwave." -Jimmy Kimmel "I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you're single you're as happy as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house." --Tom Hertz >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************