Happy St. Patrick's Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ ________ .##@@&&&@@##. ,##@&::%&&%%::&@##. #@&:%%000000000%%:&@# #@&:%00' '00%:&@# #@&:%0' '0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# "" ' " " ' "" _oOoOoOo_ .-.-. (oOoOoOoOo) ( : ) )`"""""`( .-.`. .'.-. / \ (_ '.Y.' _) | # | ( .'|'. ) \ / '-' | '-' jgs `=========` *~* HAVE A SAFE, HAPPY AND VERY BLESSED St.Patrick's DAY! *~* May your blessings outnumber The Shamrocks that grow. And may trouble avoid you Wherever you go. ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This too hot to handle one comes from our friends Karen, Linda, and my son Victor. This is so stunning! A Must see! ___---___ .-- --. ./ () .-. \. / o . ( ) \ / . '-' \ | () . O . | | | | o () | | .--. O | | . | | | \ `.__.' o . / \ / `\ o () /' jgs `--___ ___--' --- God's Night Lights 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/night2.html --- ...So very dazzling! Thank you Karen, Linda and Victor! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: ___ .-""-. / '''---...-'.' `\\ jgs \___...---"""-._-.__// Fixin To Make The Fixins... '---' If I where a maniac, I would drive a Cadillac. But at least I would not be a hypochondriac, even if I was on prozac. If I was fixing to make the biscuits I would first get the biscuit mixes. Then I would make the biscuit fixins I was fixin to get the biscuit mixes. But I seen two stixes so I used the stixes to mix the mixes together to make the biscuit fixins. But then suddenly Mr Nicks started to help me with the biscuit fixins. Then I asked Mr Nicks if we needed more mix in the biscuit mix to make more fixins? Mr nicks said no I don't think we need more mix in this biscuit mix because we are ( fixin to really start mixing the mix ) ) because you know when you are fixin to _.(--"("""--.._ mix the mix. You need to mix the mix /, _..-----).._,\ real fast so when you mix the mix fast | `'''-----'''` | the mix gets bigger so you can make \ / more fixins. But at this point we are '. .' only just fixin to make the fixins. jgs '--.....--' (_'-----------------------------------------------'_) (_.===============================================._) CHILDREN AS PETS-THE CAT YEARS I just realized that while children are dogs -- loyal and affectionate -- teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it. Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your doorsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry -- then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before. You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings. Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave. Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away. Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it. One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you." Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again. ======================================================== +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ March 17 is Submarine Day March 18 is Supreme Sacrifice Day March 19 is Poultry Day March 20 is Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions Day March 21 is Fragrance Day March 22 is National Goof-off Day March 23 is National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip and Dip Day ======================================================== >-->From GoodCleanFun: .-.-. ( ) .-.\ : /.-. ( .`:`. ) ( /|\ ) jgs `"` | `"` >Auto-Body Repair One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation. "The repairs were to the other side," I noted. -<>- >Blood Draw After I warned the nurse taking blood that it would be very hard to find a vein on me, she said, "Don't worry. We've seen worse. Last year we had a girl come in to get a blood test for her marriage license and we had to stick her six times in four places before we got anything." "Yes, I know," I said. "That was me!" -<>- >Irate Diner The irate diner raised his hand to catch the attention of a passing waiter. "Excuse me," said the man, "but how long have you been working here?" "About a year," replied the waiter. "In that case," continued the diner, "it couldn't have been you that took my order." -<>- >Shopping at the Mall While shopping at the mall, my husband and I became separated. I went out to the car, but realized I didn't have the keys. I went back into the store where we'd been to look for him. The woman in charge of the carts smiled knowingly. "Finished before your husband I see," she said. "Well, I have three men waiting over there on the bench ... take one. It should all work out even at the end of the day." -<>- >Wonderful Doctor A lady had been exposed to strep and needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her throat swabbed for a culture. She sat in the waiting room for quite some time with her legs crossed, reading a magazine while other patients came and went. Suddenly her turn was called, but when she stood up to go in, she discovered her leg was "asleep". Not wanting to keep the nurse waiting, she limped and staggered toward the inner office door. She noticed one elderly lady nudging another who sat beside her, as the two of them sympathetically watched her painful progress. Two minutes later, her procedure completed and her leg back to normal, she walked easily back into the waiting room. As she strode past the two elderly ladies, she overheard one whisper triumphantly to the other, "See, Myrtle, I TOLD you he was a wonderful doctor!" ========================================================= __...._ .-"` `\ / | | | \ | \ __...--'| \.-' |_..-, __\___...---'`_..-' (_______....--'\ / `\ (o \__ | | __) _ _ \ /`\ \ | (_Y_) _ '-.\_,| | T-._/ (_A_) _../`'T T-'` | | \__ _| .' | | | | \___ | /_\`\ / | | | | \ `/-`\ --| | \ | | | | /`----' |--' \ `\ \_; |`-.......-` .-.-'. \_LI ; / / /`-._ |`-\ \ jgs _/_/ / | \ \ ( ( ;.__ / \__,\__ `"`""` `""""` `.__._`; >-->St. Patrick's Day SMILES: Q: What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish? A: Paddy O'Furniture Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A: A sham rock. Q: How did the Irish Jig get started? A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! Q: Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold? A: They like to "go" first class! Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player? A: The Halfback of Notre Dame! Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day? A: St. O'Claus! Q: What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? A: Some poor horse is going barefoot! Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries? A: Sure, they're great at shorthand! Q: What do leprechauns love to barbecue? A: Short ribs! Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? A: To keep from falling in the stew! Q: How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold? A: He took a shortcut! Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A: A Jolly Green Giant Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato? A: When it's a FRENCH fry! Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? A: Because they're very short-tempered! Q: Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? A: Because they're always wearing green Q: Why do leprechauns hide behind 4-leafclovers and not 3-leafclovers? A: They need all the luck they can get! Q: What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river? A: He gets wet! Knock Knock Who's there? Irish! Irish Who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day! Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? A: He couldn't afford plane fare. Q: What type of bow cannot be tied? A: A rainbow. Q: Why did the elephant wear green sneakers? A: Her red ones were in the wash! Q: What do you call a diseased criminal? A: A leper-con! Q: Where can you always find gold? A: In the dictionary! -<>- _ _ (_(_) /(_) (-----. |= | _|=____|_ (_________) 8" "8 (8 6 6 8) 8 7 8 88-=###, _ jgs "888"`##,|#| `###' An Irishman goes to speak to the Pharmacist about his bottom problems.... "Sir, it's me botty. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot". So the Pharmacist gets him to drop his pants and takes a look, "Incredible"he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here." Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a 10 pound note appears. "This is amazing!"exclaims the Pharmacist. ''What do you want me to do?" "Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!"shrieks the patient. The Pharmacist pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and another, etc.... Finally the last note comes out and no more appear. "Ah Sir, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batt er. Just out of interest, How moch was in dare den?" The Pharmacist counts the pile of cash. "£1,990 exactly." "Ah, dat'd be roit,''says the Irishman I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.." -<>- _ _ (_(_) /(_) (-----. |= | _|=____|_ (_________) 8" "8 (8 6 6 8) 8 7 8 88-=###, _ jgs "888"`##,|#| `###' Murphy was selling his house, and put the matter in an agent's hands. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Murphy read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Have I got all you say there?" The agent said, Certainly ye have...Why do you ask? Murphy replied, cancel the sale...its too good to part with. -<>- _ _ (_(_) /(_) (-----. |= | _|=____|_ (_________) 8" "8 (8 6 6 8) 8 7 8 88-=###, _ jgs "888"`##,|#| `###' Two Irishmen met and one said to the other, "Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?" Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't." His friend asked, "well what d'ye mean by that?" Pat said, "It's like this, y'see...I saw a chap who I thought was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me. And when we got up to one another...it was neither of us." -<>- _ _ (_(_) /(_) (-----. |= | _|=____|_ (_________) 8" "8 (8 6 6 8) 8 7 8 88-=###, _ jgs "888"`##,|#| `###' >Irish Logic One afternoon, Pat met Mick, whom he hadn't seen for quiet some time. After chatting for a while, Pat asked Mick what he was doing with himself at the moment. Mick told Pat that he was Studying at University College in Dublin. "Jazuz." said Pat..."And what are you Studying?." "Logic" replied Mick. "What's Logic?" said Pat. "Well!" said Mick...."Do You Have a GoldFish?" Pat: "I do!" Mick: "So ..you probably have the Fish for your Kids!" Pat: "That's Right!" Mick: "So.. Having Kids means your probably married...!" Pat: "That's Right!" Mick: "So Being Married means you're not a Homosexual!" Pat: "That's Right!" Mick Explains that it was Logic that allowed him to figure all that out. The Boys say Goodbye and head off in different directions. An hour later, Pat meets his mate Shamey!. After a while Shamey asked Pat had he seen Mick around. Pat explains that he met Mick only an hour ago. Shamey said: "And what's old Mick doing with Himself?". Pat replies "He's studying at the University". Shamey: "And What's He Studying?". Pat: "Logic!" Shamey: "And What's Logic?" Pat: "Let me Explain....Do you have a GoldFish?" Shamey: "I Do!" Pat: "So you're not a Homosexual then!!!!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) @@ .##@@::;%%&&00' @><@ .###@@::;%%&&00' ________) .###@@::;%%&&00' | | .###@@::;%%&&00' _ _|===LI===|_ .###@@::;%%&&00' / \_(____________) .###@@::;%%&&00' \ / (88 o o 88) .###@@::;%%&&00' \/\ 88: 7 :88` .###@@::;%%&&00' \/\ '88'=='88' .###@@::;%%&&00' \ \__'8888'__________.###@@::;%%&&00' \___<\""/>_____/_/_-'##@@::;%%&&00' / >< \ .###@@::;%%&&00' /__/--\__\ (oO@OoO@@o@oO@@o) '-.______.-' /`"""""""""""""`\ jgs _|_||_|_ | | ___LI)||(LI___ | | ( ~~ || ~~ ) \ / `-----''-----` '.___________.' Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A. Because they're always a little short. Q. Why don't you iron 4-Leaf clovers? A. Because you don't want to press your luck. Q. How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover? A. Because they are hard to find and lucky to have. Q. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? A. He's Dublin over with laughter! Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? A. Regular rocks are too heavy. Q. Why don't women want to get engaged on St. Patrick's Day? A. 'Cause they don't want to get a "sham rock." -<>- Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years. -------- Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh my, no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat Of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh for goodness sake! But you must tell me the truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, Brenda... No. In fact, He got out three times to pee." -------- Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after His Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...' -------- A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his Attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!" --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ================================================== >-->From Our Friend Karen :) ________ .##@@&&&@@##. ,##@&::%&&%%::&@##. #@&:%%000000000%%:&@# #@&:%00' '00%:&@# #@&:%0' '0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# #@&:%0 0%:&@# "" ' " " ' "" _oOoOoOo_ .-.-. (oOoOoOoOo) ( : ) )`"""""`( .-.`. .'.-. / \ (_ '.Y.' _) | # | ( .'|'. ) \ / '-' | '-' jgs `=========` >Irish Blessings May your glass be ever full May the roof over your head be always strong And may you be in heaven Half an hour before The devil knows you're dead. -<>- >More St.Pat's Day Smiles... His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. "She spoke without interruption for about forty years," said the Finnegan. -<>- Pat and Kyran were getting ready to go on a camping trip. The first one said "I'm taking along a gallon of whiskey just in case of rattlesnake bites. What are you taking?" The other one said "Two rattlesnakes!" -<>- Seamus do you understand French? "I do if its spoken in Irish!" --- ...LOL! Thanks Karen! =========================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: Babies can be frustrating. There is no doubt about that. They are fussy, they can't tell you what is wrong with them or what they want, they poop in their pants, they contribute nothing to conversations, and sometimes it seems like they never stop crying. But never, under any circumstances, is it a good idea to bite them, especially in the face! This is a lesson that was never learned by one California man who bit his infant son's nose clean off! The reason? Apparently the baby would not stop crying. Fairfield Police said they received a phone call from a hysterical female saying her infant child was bleeding from its nose. Doctors at North Bay Medical Center determined the infant's nose had been severed and the child had possible head trauma. Investigators determined the father, Joshua Cooper, had bitten his son's nose off out of frustration over the infant crying. Maybe it is the ignorance of youth, since Mr. Cooper is a tender 18-years-old. Whatever the reason, Cooper was arrested and booked for child cruelty and aggravated mayhem, police said. -<>- Authorities say two students at a New York state college were charged with animal abuse after a dog was held upside down over a keg and forced to drink beer. Police say one of the College at Brockport students held the black Labrador retriever over a keg and apparently forced the animal to drink from the tap during an off-campus party at a house in the village located 17 miles west of Rochester. Another student took a photo and posted it on a Twitter account featuring stories and pictures from parties thrown by students enrolled at state colleges in New York. The two men, both 20, were charged with torturing and injuring an animal. They were issued appearance tickets for town court. The dog was taken by the local dog warden. No report was made if the dog passed out... *-- Police capture angry housecat while family hides in bathroom --* PORTLAND, Ore. - Police in Oregon said they were called to rescue a family who locked themselves in the bathroom when their 22-pound cat became aggressive and attacked a baby. Portland Police said the family called 911 Sunday night to report their black and white Himalayan cat had become aggressive and attacked their baby, but did not cause any serious injuries before the family members were able to lock themselves in the bathroom with the family dog, the Columbian, in Vancouver, Wash., reported Tuesday. Officers arrived at the home and saw the cat flee into the kitchen. They were able to get a dog snare around the feline when it attempted to elude capture on top of the refrigerator and the cat was safely locked in its crate. The officers told the family it was safe to come out of the bathroom and the cat was left in their custody. The family's baby did not require medical attention, police said. *-- Arsenal striker accused of drunken conduct in taxi cab --* RYESGADE, Denmark - Nicklas Bendtner of London's Arsenal soccer team is accused of rubbing himself against a taxi in Denmark and calling the driver a "little whore." Bendtner has not played in a game for the Arsenal since Feb. 2, but played for the national team of his native Denmark in last week's game against England. He allegedly was drunk when he and two friends got into a Ryesgade cab, kicked the vehicle's radio loose and took some of the driver's personal belongings, the Guardian in London reported Thursday. When the driver asked the men to return his belongings, Bendtner allegedly became angry and had to be restrained by his friends outside of the vehicle. He allegedly unbuttoned his pants, rubbed himself up against the taxi, whipped the vehicle with his belt and called the driver a "little whore," The driver called police, but it was unclear whether officers spoke to the player. "I've had drunks and alcoholics in my cab in Copenhagen over the last 25 years, but I've never experienced anything like this," the driver told the Danish newspaper BT. A spokeswoman for Bendtner declined to comment on the incident and Arsenal officials said they are looking into the allegations. *-- Cats, dog suspected of spying for Germans in World War I --* LONDON - British intelligence officers in World War I suspected two cats and a dog of carrying messages from the Germans across British lines, documents revealed. The National Archive published documents online Thursday revealing officers from the 36th brigade of the 12th Division spotted the animals repeatedly crossing British lines in July 1915 and suspected they have been used by the Germans to pass messages across the lines, the Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. "Two [two] cats and a dog are under suspicion, as they have been in the habit of crossing our trenches at night; steps are being taken to trap them if possible," the officers wrote in their report. The documents published Thursday did not reveal whether the animals were ever captured or whether any further evidence was found indicating they were German agents. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .-"""""-. \ / |.-----.| __|_______|___ '--;-'```'-;--' / / 6_6 \ \ ( ( _) ) ) ( ( .__. ) ) ( `._`-'_.' ) /`'-._`"`_.-'`\ | /___```___\ | \ |___|L|___| / \/ `"` \/ /..,_______,..\ / /\ \ | ,-' `-, | \ `\ ,-'` / jgs __LI`--`\|`.__/ ( /\ LI\ `.___,-'` \ | '.__/ An American general was speaking, via an interpreter, to a batallion of Vietnamese troops. At one point, he told a rather long and somewhat convoluted joke. When it was the interpreter's turn to interpret, he spoke for about four seconds, and the audience burst into laughter, pleasing the general. A captain, along on the trip, turned to a Vietnamese officer and asked how he managed to convey the general's joke so quickly. The Vietnamese officer replied, "The interpreter said 'The American general has just told a joke. Everyone please laugh.'" -<>- While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." -<>- I suppose it speaks volumes about the state of my marriage when I admit to nodding knowingly at a remark made by a colleague. She was telling me about the death of another co-worker's spouse, when she commented, "How sad. They'd been married only five years, so I imagine she still loved him." -<>- On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. "Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?" he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. "You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know the answer." -<>- Traveling is a major part of my wife's job as a saleswoman, and it's not unheard-of for her to visit four or five cities in one week. I hadn't thought too much of it until she returned wiped out from her last long business trip. As her head hit the pillow, she sighed, "It's so nice to be sleeping in my own bed, with my own husband." -<>- Twelve-step jargon has seeped into the language. I was trying to get my son to do his homework. "What's the assignment?" I asked. "Write a paper on a national leader," he answered. I pressed, "And what's the first step?" "Admitting I have a problem?" ========================================================= >-->From The Mouth: __.--'"""""'--.__ __.--' '--.__ .-' '-. .' F R I E N D S H I P '. / L O Y A L T Y \ /` L O V E `\ / _______ \ / _.-'` `'-._ \ / .' .:. .:. '. \ : / ::::::::: \ : ; / ':::::::' \ ; | / ':::::' \ | | ; .:::::.:::.:::::. ; | | | ':::::::::::::::' | | | | .:::::::::::::::. | | | ; ':::::' : ':::::' ; | ; \ : / ; : .-"^`\ .:. /`^"-. : \ .' ___\ .:' ':. /___ `. / \ / /.---. O .---.\ \ / \ | // '-. _o/0\o_ .-' \\ | / \| ;| \ (0\|V|/0) / |; |/ \.:.|| |\_) \~_~_~/ (_/| ||.:./ jgs \` | \ . \ ; .-.^.-. ; / . / | `/ '\_\ \\ \ \ \ / ' \ / / / // /_/' \\ \ \ \ \ / / / / // `'-\_\_\ \ / /_/_/-'` ` '. .' ` >Music Mania - Did You Know? A ghost's favorite kind of music is Rhythm and Boos. The Best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector. Pop Music goes "Fizz-fizz, bubble-bubble!" Sad landscapers listen to Blue Grass while they are working. Chemists listen to acid rock. Bungee jumpers listen to Big Band Music Baseball players listen to Just the hits! -<>- >What Do Blondes Drink? A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender:"What is a B and C?". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7" -<>- >A teenager is: * A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. * A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast. * A youngster who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday. * Someone who can hear his favorite singer 3 blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room. * A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed. * A student who spends 12 minutes studying history and 12 hours studying for her driver's license. * A connoisseur of 2 kinds of fine music--loud and very loud. * An enthusiast who has the energy to bike for miles but is usually too tired to dry the dishes. * A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates the brother. * A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week. * A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off. * A boy who can sleep till noon on any Saturday he suspects the lawn needs mowing or the drive needs shoveled. * An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager. ====================================================== .-"^`\ /`^"-. .' ___\ /___ `. / /.---. O .---.\ \ | // '-. _o/0\o_ .-' \\ | | ;| \ (0\|W|/0) / |; | \ || |\_) \~_~_~/ (_/| || / \ | \ . \ ; .-.^.-. ; / . / | / '\_\ \\ \ \ \ / ' \ / / / // /_/' \\ \ \ \ \ / / / / // jgs `'-\_\_\ \ / /_/_/-'` ` '. .' ` ` __, ,__) __,__) ,__) ____, __, ,__) .--. (--|__| _ (--| ,_ ' , |_ (--/_| ,_ _ (--\ | _ ) __| |(_)(_|_) __|__ | |/_)| | / | | (/_ \_|(_)(_| .-' ( ( |_, / (___| | . .-.-. ( : ) ~|~|_~(_~~|~ \|/~\| ||~) ~|~ /~\ ( IRISH .-.\ ' /.-. | |_ ,_) | |\_/\_/|~\ _|_.\_X. QUOTIENT ) (_.. 'Y' .._) ( /|\ ) jgs '-' | '-' .-. (_" \ 1. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? / `\ \ ^ ) ) 2. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? ( ( .:. ) ) 3. _oOoOo Where does ( ( [_||||| green beer \ \ ||||| come from? `\| ~~~~~ 4. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? 5. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? 6. What's Irish and stays out all night? _oOoOoOo_ (oOoOoOoOo) 7. How did the Irish jig get started? )`"""""`( / \ 8. Why do leprechauns have pots o' gold? | G O L D | \ / 9. What's an Irish windbreaker? `=========` 10. On St. Patrick's Day, while people are searching for tiny, little leprechauns, what are leprechauns searching for? @@ .##@@::;%%&&00' @><@ .###@@::;%%&&00' ________) .###@@::;%%&&00' | | .###@@::;%%&&00' _ _|===LI===|_ .###@@::;%%&&00' / \_(____________) .###@@::;%%&&00' \ / (88 6 6 88) .###@@::;%%&&00' \/\ 88: 7 :88` .###@@::;%%&&00' \/\ 888'=='888' .###@@::;%%&&00' \ \_'888888'_________.###@@::;%%&&00' \___<\""/>_____/_/_-'##@Oo@o%&&00' / >< \ .##oO@Oo@O@o&00' /__/--\__\ (oO@OoO@@o@oO@@o) '-.______.-' /`"""""""""""""`\ jgs _|_||_|_ | Happy | ___LI)||(LI___ | St. Patrick's | ( ~~ || ~~ ) \ Day! / `-----''-----` '.___________.' The ANSWERS: 1. He couldn't afford plane fare. 2. Real rocks would look funny. 3. Who cares? As long as it keeps coming! 4. He's Dublin over with laughter. 5. They're always a little short. 6. Pati O'Furniture! 7. Lots of beer and too few restrooms! 8. They like to "go" first class. 9. Someone who's had too much corned beef and cabbage! 10. Tiny, little women! -= Give yourself a point for each right answer, and put an "O" in front of your name! =- -joan =========================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) St. Patrick's Day Animated Graphics http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_p-t.html In Days Past! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dayspast.html Men Will Be Boys! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html Luxury Golf Carts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/golfcarts.html Telephone Sheep Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/phonesheep.html Aww Animals 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals5.html Angel Falls http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angelfalls.html Backpack Cat http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/backpack.html Did You See That? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat.html Endangered Wolf http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolf.html Identity Theft 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft3.html -<>- >From Both our friends Linda and Karen :) They sent us one we have here... MAXINE ON ST.PATRICK'S DAY! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonpatday.html --- ...LOL! I love this one! Thanks Ladies! -<>- >From Our Friend Karen :) This is a wonderful collection of a wide variety of trees. All kinds of shapes are shown. http://www.duskyswondersite.com/nature/trees --- ...Cool! Thanks Karen! -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) WHEN WE'RE HOLDING THE HAMMER, THEY'LL ALL LOOK LIKE THE NAIL. Tennessee middle school assistant football coach, age 26, fired for a song he wrote and played! This could be the next number one hit country song. It's the best effort yet at encapsulating the outrage at the oversteps of this government in an entertaining song. Apparently, the guy was fired over the song because some parents complained. If you like it, help it go "viral" by passing it along to everyone you know. Great Song!!! http://tinyurl.com/6u9shmm --- ...HaHa! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Japanese Dance Troupe Enra performs a dance called "Pleiades" or "Seven Sisters". Astronomy fans will recognize that pleiades is an open star cluster in the Taurus constellation. The dancers performing this cool dance act are Saya Watatani and Maki Yokoyama. They are truly dancing with this Stars! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0813gcZ1Uw8&feature=player_embedded --- ...Fun! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Fran :) Irish Wishes For You http://www.mamarocks.com/irish_wishes_for_you.htm irish cooking http://www.mamarocks.com/irish_cooking.htm --- ...Good ones! Thanks Fran! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) This Day Trivia March 17 http://www.thisdaytrivia.com/td_03_17.php Woody Woodpecker Pantry Panic 1941 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WBF4Cr2Ars ========================================================= -=[ St, Pat Wishes ]=- .-"""""-. \ / |.-----.| __|_______|___ HAPPY '--;-'```'-;--' ST. PATRICK'S / / 6_6 \ \ DAY ! ( ( _) ) ) / ( ( .__. ) ) ( `._`-'_.' ) /`'-._`"`_.-'`\ | /___```___\ | \ |___|L|___| / \/ `"` \/ /..,_______,..\ / /\ \ | ,-' `-, | \ `\ ,-'` / jgs __LI`--`\|`.__/ ( /\ LI\ `.___,-'` \ | '.__/ >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A new sleep study suggested that insomnia is linked to early death. Well that should help you doze off. If you weren't sleeping before, this should knock you right out." -Jay Leno "It's not always good to give your child a trendy name. I still haven't been forgiven by my 18-year-old son Sir Mix-a-Lot." -Craig Ferguson "A recent study found that only 7 percent of 8th graders can correctly name the three branches of government. That's ridiculous - everybody knows it's the legislative, the executive, and..." -Jimmy Fallon "A new study found that government employees are the happiest workers. The study was not conducted at the DMV." -Conan O'Brien "There is a new survey out about the happiest professions. The city that has the happiest workers is Miami. Because Miami has both things people need to be happy. Thongs and rollerblading." -Craig Ferguson "Researchers in Japan are working on a new drug that could treat gambling addiction. But I'll bet you 2-to-1 it doesn't work." -Jimmy Fallon "I was homeschooled, which meant that I had to bully myself." -Dave Letterman "A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old." -Craig Ferguson >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************