Happy Twilight Zone Day! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. If every one would chip in $25 or more, we'd be good for the whole year! So Please - I need your help today! "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, the easiest way to do that is through online giving. It is easy to use, and most of all, it is secure. Please visit the site, scroll down and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL form page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This sizzling hot new page is from our friend Geniann. It's one to tickle your funny bone and may even give you a few chuckles as well. Start your week out with this fun humorous one... _.-````'-,_ _,.,_ ,-'` `'-.,_ /) (\ '``-. (( ) ) `\ \) (_/ )\ | /) ' ,' / \ `\ ^' ' ( / )) | _/\ , / ,,`\ ( "` \Y, | \ \ | ````| / \_ \ `)_/ \ \ ) ( > ( > \( \( |/ |/ /_(/_( /_( /_( mic+dwb Only In Montana http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onlyinmontana.html --- ...TeeHee! I love the historical part of this too! Thanks Geniann! This next hot new page is from our friends Linda, Sharon and LouiseAu. It is one to remind you to give your mom a special hug of love. Warm thoughts go out to all our moms, living or who have passed on. It's sure to give you your aww quota for the day plus plenty of smiles. Check this sweet one out here... _,.---""----.,_ .-' __.----...---.; .' .' `'. / .' '. / / `'", `\ .'_,' ,"` `'. /,' .-. \ .' .-. /___\ ( . `, / .-' /___\ |_ | \ '. \ ;| / |_ | \_)_/ | \ \ /| | ; _\_)_/ ` , / | \ / | | / ___ ` .-~`````~-. ,=' | | | ; \ \ /.-' `-._ | /| | \ .'``''--' _.- `\ | .' \ | |; / ' _, \ |-`| | | || / / /_\ /_\ .-~``~-. | | | / || | | \(/ |(| | / | | || ,| | -~~` ;`| .---. | | | / || .-/ | | / .-~`~ \| ( '.| / ;--/ /| / / | \ | -t- | -~'-\ \ `--' `-..-` ; |/| / \ |`._ \ -~` / | \ / /\| | .--' `\ `._`._ / |-~` | / \/\ '.____,.-' `""`-._.' ~-. / / .' .' \ .--._.-'` .'`- _.' (.-' | ( , ',_.-'`"""` | \ \ .-' '-;---;..--' /,----.y | jgs | '. `.__,-' / | | | | |`-.,__, Y | | | | | == | =| | | |- ~ -. | | .- ~ -. | | | | | == | =|~ - ~` | | '~ - ~' | /.-.-.-\-.-\ | | | | | | `""""""`""""`/.-.-.-\-.\-.-.-.-\ /.-.-.-.-.-.\ `"""""""`""`-------' '------------' Animal Moms 7 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalmoms7.html --- ...Awww, so adorable! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: A Salesman wa .::\)`:`, .:;\/~`\``;) ,.~-----, ;;==`_ ~:;( ,,~{*}\~~--,.`. ;:== 6 6;;) ,(((((({*});~~. .\ ;;C } )' (('`)))~({*}) . \ .\ :;` `--'; >6 6`({*}))) . \~~ | `____/ ( { ))())) . .`, ____._| |_____. `--' (((())) . | / \ \__ _| | \ `-- )))))) . .| | ) \/\/\_{@} | ,-| ((((((( . | | \_ \ \ | / | / | / ))))))) .| | |\ : \ |/ | Y | (/*@@*( ' ` ) . | \ \ \_\/_/ | | / */ \ \'/ /. | \ \ |o | | \. \ |'@'| .| \ \ | ; ,'--,.,.,., \ ~*@*~. . | \ \_________._--`((,:{@}.:))_\ |~@~| . | \ ' | ((,{@}:{@}.))-----' ;/\ (, \._____________`-__((;,{@},:))_________/|{ | . ; | | | `';{@},) /`-----'\ |. | | .__/\__ | `{@};,; / / | \ \ \/ .| | / :; \ | `(@))\ / \. . | | /! | \| ';; ))_/`-'/`_`., \. | | | ! | | ';(( | | ! `_ \ .| | | ! | | )) | | ! |.\_| | s traveling by train with his bride for his honeymoon to Florida. He was talking to an old gentleman with whom he had made an acquaintance. He told him, "I am going with my wife for my honeymoon to spend it in Florida." The gentleman asked, "Are you going to Tampa with her?" "You're darn right I'm going to tamper with her, what a silly question?" -<>- A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in Peace" for her husband's tombstone. When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving. This was impossible, the words were chiseled and could not be changed. "In that case," she said, "please add 'Till We Meet Again.'" -<>- A man who was born with no arms wished to seek employment. Fearing nobody would want to hire him with his obvious disability, he thought he'd answer a help wanted sign he saw posted at his church. He rang the bell at the rectory and when the pastor opened the door he was moved with pity. He asked, "What can I do for you, my son?" The man said I've come to answer your help wanted ad. The pastor became concerned and said that ad is for a bell ringer. He stammered that he didn't think he'd be able to handle the job. The man pleaded and said, "Won't you give me a chance so I can show you what I'm capable of?" The pastor relented and hired him. The time came when the church bell had to be rung. The man made his way under the bell, took a running start and threw his body against the bell which resulted in a booming "BONNGGGG". As soon as the vibrations subsided, he took another running start and threw his body into the other side of the bell with the expected result of "BONNNGG", and so it went. Now our armless friend was at the job for several months to the delight of the pastor. One day the guy was running late and in his haste he ran up to the belfry and got his running leap at the bell without first getting under the bell. As he ran right off the side of the tower he screamed. Everyone from within the church filed out and just stared. Finally somebody said, "Poor fellow, does anybody knows who he is?" To which came the answer from someone in the back, "I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ May 11 is Eat What You Want Day and Twilight Zone Day May 12 is Fatigue Syndrome Day, International Nurses Day and Limerick Day May 13 is Frog Jumping Day, Hummus Day, Leprechaun Day, National Receptionist Day and School Nurses Day May 14 is Dance Like a Chicken Day May 15 is National Bike to Work Day, National Chocolate Chip Day and Police Officer's Memorial Day May 16 is Armed Forces Day, Love a Tree Day, National Sea Monkey Day and Wear Purple for Peace Day May 17 is Pack Rat Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _ _ _|_|___________________|_|_ |__:_____________________:__| |___________________________| |__:_____________________:__| |___________________________| |_|___________________|_| /__.___________________.__\ /__._____________________.__\ /_____________________________\ | |_| |_| | | | | | | | | | |_| |_|lc >Change This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to a homeless man. I started a conversation by asking him how he ended up this way. He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed. I had a roof over my head. I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage." I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?" "Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "I just got out of prison." -<>- >Surgery Mary hated the idea of surgery. So she was very upset when the doctor informed her that she needed a tonsillectomy. Mary after much deliberation, decided to go ahead and have the procedure. While she and the nurse were filling out an admission form, she was so nervous she couldn't think straight or hardly speak. The nurse, being a compassionate sort, patted her hand and said, "Don't worry. This is a simple medical procedure, and a problem that can easily be fixed." "I am sure you are right. I'm being silly," Mary said, "Please continue." "Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?" -<>- >Conversational English Class Stationed with the Army near Tokyo, I taught a conversational English class to a group of Japanese businessmen. Wishing to acquaint me with their cuisine, my class took me to dinner at a local restaurant. I've never enjoyed seafood, and my hosts noticed my lack of enthusiasm when the odd assortment of raw and cooked fish was served. Intent on saving the evening, one man asked if I'd like a pizza. I accepted with delight. Soon a smiling waitress came to our table and placed before me a large, hot pizza - piled high with squid. -<>- >Blood Draw After I warned the nurse taking blood that it would be very hard to find a vein on me, she said, "Don't worry. We've seen worse. Last year we had a girl come in to get a blood test for her marriage license and we had to stick her six times in four places before we got anything." "Yes, I know," I said. "That was me!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) . . \'.____.'/ __'-. .-'__ .--. '_i:'oo':i_'---...____...----i"""-.-'.-"\\ /._ _.\ : / '._ ;/ ;'-._ ( o o ) '-.__.' '. '. '-." '-.__.-' _.--. '-.: : '-' / ; _..--, / ; : '-._.-' ; ; : : : ` .' '-._.' : / \ : / ____....--\ : '._\ :""""" '. !. : : |: : 'www'| \ '| | || | : | | : | || | .' ! | | .' !| | /__I | | /__I.' ! .' ! /__I /__I fsc >SMILES A Texan is in a Wisconsin bar and is telling a dairy farmer how large his ranch in Texas is. He tells the farmer his ranch is so large that if he gets into his pick-up truck and drives all day, he would not reach the other border of his ranch. The Wisconsin dairy farmer thinks for a minute and then responds, 'I used to have a truck like that.' ---------- _ , L\ \/OO\ |/ \ /_\ ` _\ |_ Arjen Pilon >Wife bashing... The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So I've got her a pair of football boots! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! Anyone got an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me! My wife said that I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and ignored her all day for no reason! Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's drive by 90 percent. It's called wedding cake. Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup. My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface. ---------- There was this guy in a mental hospital. All day long he had his ear to the wall, listening. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the mental patient and said, 'I don't hear anything.' The mental patient said, 'Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months.' ---------- A friend of mine claims this happened to a friend of hers: She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, thought she, I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I'll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. And you have one cheap wedding present! So she took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith took a look at the tray, shook his head, and said, "Lady, you can only do this so many times!" ---------- A 55-year old man, who was born on May 5th, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, and who's lucky number is 5, receives a phone call from a friend. The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.55 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5. Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth.? ------- A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher leans over and whispers, "The wife did it." ---------- Two blonde girls were taking their first train trip to Arkansas on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute." ---------- An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; and Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays. EVERY religion has its holidays. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national holidays. It's an unfair discrimination." His friend replied, "Well... Why don't you celebrate April first?" ---------- A stewardess was getting very annoyed by 3 little children on the plane. They had been bugging her since take-off, complaining that they were hungry or bored or tired or thirsty or needed to go to the bathroom and whatever else you could imagine a small child commenting and complaining about. Well, the stewardess had had enough. The next time that the children said that they were bored, the stewardess told them to go play outside. ---------- The church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money to pay their expenses for a special trip. They made a large sign, CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP, and on the given Saturday business was very good. But by two o'clock the skies clouded and the rain poured and there were hardly any customers. Finally, one of the girl washers had an idea. She printed a very large poster which said, WE WASH (then an arrow pointing skyward) GOD RINSES. Business boomed! --- ...LOL! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu! >Thoughts... Seem to be or not seem to be.... \ ,,,,,, /e ''( (_ ` \ ___> \ / ,_\-.___ \_ / _)/ / \ | \ / ` _ | __\____/ / ' | / _ /______/ / _/ \,_____/o ( \__)/` \ / \__________/_/_ _/ \ \ )/ \ / / | /\ ( \_____/ ___/ \ \ _/ \ ______/_/___|_| ) \ / / o\ o\ / / /\ b'ger,,,'-----^--',,,,,,',,|_,,\_ ,,\/,, Going to ask my Mom if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table. Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use! So can we expect car insurance to go down since nobody can go anywhere? Just wondering... Jake, from State Farm... People keep asking “is coronavirus really that serious?” Listen up! Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious! Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, there’s no toilet paper. Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids respect and now they’re stuck at home with the little sh&ts!!! The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required. Cops these days will be like...come out with your hands washed! Day 31 of quarantine: ate all the snacks and food, clothes no longer fit, but I’m still wearing gloves and mask for my protection. I’m as bored as an Amish electrician! Homeschooling Update: My child just said I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year! Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth! And just like that, having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK. Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but staying home on the couch can do for your country. Police confront nudist sunbathers over not wearing facemasks amid coronavirus outbreak. Ladies - time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early. I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut! Have to say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year! With so many sporting events cancelled, they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship - It’s on Paperview. Not to brag, but I haven’t been late for anything for the past 32 days! Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night. Tried to pick up my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for three weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years. Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 68%? Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating --- ...Oh Gee! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! =================================================== >-->From HandyHints: ,d88aaa8888888b,,,d888P' d888888888888888888888b d88888888888888888888b d8888888888888888888b d8P98888888888888P Randy Ransom While only a few communities so far have ordered their residents to wear masks out in public, it is still a very good idea to wear personal protection like respirator masks while the coronavirus pandemic is still a threat. These masks feature 5-layers of protection, including a Meltblown Adsorption layer which filters out 95 percent of dust, bacteria and nanoparticles which carry the virus. Because of this they're a little on the expensive side vs paper masks. Still, they are designed to be disposable. You can probably wear them 2, 3 or even 4 days in a row, but eventually your own respiration will make them unwearable. But you can extend the life of each mask with a cheap, household product you almost certainly already have in your kitchen. Simply line the inside of your mask with a coffee filter! It will help keep your mask clean and reusable for much longer. And at pennies per filter you can replace it every time you put on the mask. There are so many uses for coffee filters besides making coffee. You get plenty per pack for a buck or two and they have dozens of uses. * Clean TV screens and mirrors, they don't leave dust. * Open a few on a plate to drain fries, bacon, sausages and other fried foods. * They also make a handy and disposable food cover to eliminate splatters in the microwave. * You can wet and put a dab of fabric softener on them and toss them in the dryer. * Put a coffee filter between pots and pan to keep them from scratching each other in storage. * Line the bottom of planters to keep the dirt from coming out the bottom of the pot. -<>- _ .----------/ |<=== floppy disk / | | / /| | _________ / / | | | .-----. | /___________/ /| | |=| |-| [____________]/ | | |~|_____|~| | ___ | | | '-| |-' | / _) | | | |.....| function ======>|.' | | | | |<=== application key | | | | input |.....| software | | | | `--._| main =>| | | | | storage | | | ;______|_________________ | | |.' ____\|/_______________ `. | | /| (______________________) )<== user |____________|/ \___________________________/ interface '--||----: `'''''.__ | || jgs `""";"""-.'-._ <== normal flow | central || | `-. `'._of operation /<== processing || || | `\ '-. / unit surge ().-. | | : /` control ==>(_((X)) | .-. : <======= output device '-' \ | \ ; |________ || `\ \|/ '-..-' / /_\ /| || /`-.____ | / / || / _ /_____________|_ / /_ || peripherals ==>/_\___________________/_\__/ /~ )__ || (hardware) |____________________________|/ ~ ) || (__~ ~ ~(~~` || overflow (input/output error) ===> (_~_ ~ ~_ `) .-''-. `--~-' '` /______\ _________ [____] <=== de-bugging tool _|`---------`| (C| | back-up ===> \ / |\\\ ///| `=========` | \\V// | | |~| | | |=| | <=== supplemental data | | | | | | | | (()____ \ |=| / mouse ===> (' `\_______, \|_|/ `,,---,,' Oh no! It's the worst case scenario; the toilet is clogged and you don't have a plunger. Maybe you just moved into the house or apartment. Maybe the kids broke the handle. Maybe it's just old and the rubber cracked. Whatever happened, that water is not going down and you have a potentially messy problem on your hands. Don't panic, there are a few simple, household solutions you can try that will probably work! Start With Dish Soap As soon as the toilet clogs head to the kitchen for some dish soap. The slippery soap should help lubricate the clogged pipe and allow the lodged debris slide down more easily. Be generous; pour a half-cup to a cup into the toilet and let it settle. Add Hot Water If dish soap alone doesn't do the trick try adding hot water to move things along. Fill a bucket with hot bath water (boiling water could cause a porcelain toilet to crack), and pour the water into the toilet from waist level. The force of the water could dislodge whatever is causing the clog. DIY a Drain Snake Using a Wire Hanger A more severe blockage could require manually moving the item. To do this without a plunger, unravel a wire coat hanger until it's straight. Push one end of the wire into the clogged area. Prod the debris until it becomes free and flows down the drain. Use a Plastic Bottle to Create Water Pressure Warning: This trick gets a little messy. Start by removing as much water from the toilet bowl as possible (you can do this by repeatedly filling a small container with toilet water and pouring the water into a bucket). Next, fill a large plastic bottle with warm water. Place your thumb over the top of the bottle, and fit the top end of the bottle into the outlet at the bottom of the toilet (you'll want to wear rubber gloves for this step). Remove your thumb and crush the bottle so the water inside shoots down the pipe. The added pressure could dislodge whatever was causing the clog. If you are buying a plunger for the toilet look for the one that has a narrower flange extending from the bottom of the cup. This flange is designed to fit inside the drain of a toilet and provide a tight seal. It will be much more effective at loosening a clog than the plunger with a flat rim. ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: CDC Coronavirus https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html Free MISSION BBQ For Veterans, Surf Lessons, Online Military Concerts https://content.govdelivery.com/accounts/USVA/bulletins/28a4b8a Trump joins World War II veterans at V-E Day ceremony WASHINGTON (AP) - Seven World War II veterans, ages 96 to 100, joined President Donald Trump at a wreath-laying ceremony Friday to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the end of the war in Europe. The veterans had hoped to mark the occasion in Moscow, but that idea was dashed because of the coronavirus pandemic. https://tinyurl.com/ybwwzast AG BARR: FBI under Comey set a ‘perjury trap’ for Michael Flynn https://tinyurl.com/y85pqrod McEnany comments on FBI's 'manufactured crime' against Michael Flynn https://tinyurl.com/ya9fmu73 Thanks to Acting National Intel Director Ric Grenell and Attorney General Bill Barr we have definitive proof of Schiff's malicious dishonesty. https://tinyurl.com/yab439de Trey Gowdy bashes the media: They aided and abetted Adam Schiff https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6Jj6mgO3WY Rep. Adam Schiff and the entire apparatus of official Washington has been exposed by these transcripts, as well as by the documents just released in the Michael Flynn case. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Imhbncy9RJg Trey Gowdy shreds Comey: 'His arrogance, hubris wrecked the FBI' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtSBgLJWbTk Tara Reade gets help from firm that represents Weinstein victims https://tinyurl.com/y8th6n58 80% Of Border Crossers Are Turned Back In Under Two Hours, DHS Deputy Says https://tinyurl.com/y9gjtogf After Atheists Attack, This Non-Religious Volunteer Stood Up for Samaritan’s Purse NYC Field Hospital https://tinyurl.com/y8ntvssd Westwing News: Flynn and the Anatomy of a Political Narrative https://www.whitehouse.gov/westwingreads/ WhiteHouse Resolute Reads https://www.whitehouse.gov/ WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Latest Product Alert: Popcorn, Sauces, Makeup http://www.emergencyemail.org/products/?fmt=text Latest Health Alert: http://www.emergencyemail.org/health/?fmt=text Click to Give Free https://tinyurl.com/y2abb8d2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: It was Jerry Seinfeld who made the Soup Nazi famous, but California is where you'll find the Sunset Nazis. Everywhere else in the world being outside in the sunshine is the best way to reduce your risk of a viral infaction, but apparently in California being outside in the fresh air is deadly. And even if it isn't, the local authorities will make sure it's expensive. Citations were issued to 22 people found near the beach in Encinitas in violation of San Diego County's stay-at-home order, authorities announced. The tickets were issued Friday to people who "were watching the sunset, having picnics near the beach," according to the San Diego County Sheriff's Department. "Everyone is required to stay home, except to get food, care for a relative or friend, get necessary health care or go to an essential job," the department tweeted. "Complacency is the enemy. Take social distancing more seriously to stop coronavirus." The violations carry fines of up to $1,000 or six months in jail or both, the department said. "You can easily transmit coronavirus (without) knowing it, creating a snowball effect," a tweet from the department said. "By staying home, you can save lives. The public health orders were not created to follow when convenient." Last Tuesday, Encinitas Mayor Catherine S. Blakespear acknowledged that the coastline was of 'sacred importance' to many in Encinitas, but Blakespear wrote in an email to residents: "I have received lots of emails from those concerned that people or businesses need to do a better job strictly following the guidelines, and I've also received feedback second-guessing the decision to close beaches, saying that crowding isn't that common on Encinitas beaches and the risk of transmission is low. After all, there is a lot of space on the sand, most of us are in family units, and people in the ocean are rarely closer than six feet from each other." "The more strict every single one of us can be with our commitment to 'stay at home,' the quicker we'll be able to get beyond this," she said. -<>- California is known for its wine, and also for its oenophiles (that's winos to you and me), but even for California today's story is a little extreme. If you really need a drink that bad, there are easier ways to get it than what this daredevil tried with a wine tanker truck. And even more bizarrely - he pulled it off! At least for a little while. The Modesto, California Highway Patrol arrested Gabriel Moreno after he allegedly jumped on a moving tanker truck carrying bulk red wine, climbed under its belly to unscrew a valve, and drank the wine as the truck traveled up Highway 99. Video of the wild ride was recorded on the Cherokee Freight Lines tanker truck Moreno allegedly targeted. The dashcam video first shows Moreno in a sedan, putting his hazard lights on, directing the truck to the side of the highway. The truck driver pulls over, believing he may have a mechanical problem, only to see Moreno get out with only his underwear on. The camera shows Moreno running to the passenger side of the truck and out of view. As the truck driver pulls back on the freeway, another onboard camera captures Moreno jump back into view, then on the back of the wine truck. With no shirt and no shoes, he rides on the side of the tanker. The video then shows him climb underneath the truck as it hits freeway speeds. That's when the driver noticed a dashboard gauge showing he was losing fluids - hundreds of gallons of wine. So, he called the CHP. "I've listened to thousands and thousands of calls," Modesto CHP officer Tom Olsen said. "This one's up there in the top 10." The truck driver allegedly found Moreno in an unusual position. Moreno had unscrewed a valve underneath the truck, as it was traveling north on Highway 99. That sent the tanker's wine gushing, and Moreno gulping as much as he could. The trucking company says they lost about 1,000 gallons of red wine, most of it ending up on Highway 99. That is enough to fill about 5,000 bottles of red wine. --- ...I found this amazing video here for you... https://tinyurl.com/ybgw3qqe *--- It's not like he needed it anymore ---* A nurse in Staten Island, N.Y. allegedly stole a credit card from a patient dying of coronavirus at Staten Island University Hospital, according to multiple sources with knowledge of the investigation. The 70-year-old male patient who lived on Staten Island died on April 12 from COVID-19, a law enforcement source said. Danielle Conti, 43, Conti was employed as a nurse for SIUH when she removed a patient's credit card while he was being treated and used that card to make purchases without permission, police allege. An unauthorized charge made after the patient died was discovered by a relative who was sorting through the man's finances after his death, according to a multiple sources. *--- 5-year-old pulled over on Interstate ---* The Utah Highway Patrol said a trooper conducting a traffic stop on a suspected impaired driver instead found a 5-year- old driver seeking to purchase a Lamborghini. The highway patrol said in a Twitter post that a trooper conducted a traffic stop in Weber County on "what he thought was an impaired driver," but the driver of the vehicle turned out to be a 5-year-old boy who made off with his parents' car. The boy, who was pulled over on the 25th Street off-ramp of southbound Interstate 15, told the trooper he had taken his parents' car after getting into an argument with his mother, who told him she would not buy him a Lamborghini. The child told the trooper he had intended to drive to California to buy a luxury vehicle for himself. "He might have been short on the purchase amount, as he only had $3 dollars in his wallet," the UHP said. *--- Aggressive chicken avoids police ---* A Louisiana police department is warning residents to beware of an "aggressive chicken" that has been "terrorizing bank customers" at a drive-through and walk-up ATM. The Walker Police Department said officers who responded to a report of a chicken attack at a bank on Walker South Road were told by employees that the foul fowl has been chasing customers and attempting to get into their cars for several days. The department's Facebook post said the chicken has also "failed to engage in proper social distancing." Officers were unable to locate the chicken, which the department said "apparently anticipated the imminent arrival of law enforcement and fled on foot from the scene." "The chicken is wanted on charges of assault, attempted battery, attempted burglary, terrorizing and ignoring an order of the governor," the post said. *--- Boom likely an exploding meteor --- * A loud booming sound reported by multiple witnesses in Washington state was likely a meteor exploding over the area, experts said. The American Meteor Society said several reports came in about a bright object streaking across the sky over the Puget Sound area about 7 p.m. Wednesday, followed by a loud boom that some witnesses said caused their homes to shake. "The more I read the more inclined I am to believe this was a fireball (which is a meteor that is larger and brighter than normal)," Bob Lunsford with the American Meteor Society reported. "I'm certain now that this was a meteoric event." Lunsford said the timing of the sightings and the boom, which occurred about three minutes after the streak of light was noted, makes sense for a larger-than-normal meteor explosion. "If this was larger than normal then the sound could have originated from a higher altitude. So a delay of 3 minutes is entirely possible," Lunsford said. Space.com said the annual Eta Aquarid Meteor Shower, which is caused by Earth's orbit crossing through debris from Halley's Comet, peaked early Wednesday morning, but will continue to cause sightings for a few weeks. --- ...I found this video for you here... https://www.arcamax.com/entertainment/weirdnews/s-2360343 ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: \_/ --(_)-- . / \ /_\ |Q| .-----' '-----. __ /____[SCHOOL]___\ ())) | [] .-.-. [] | (((()) ..|____|_|_|____|..................................)(... ldb >Late to Class Billy walks into class late. His teacher says, "Billy, do not walk into class late again." The next day Billy crawls into class late once again. His teacher says, "Billy, I thought I told you not to come into class late." Billy responds... "No, you told me I couldn't WALK in class late." -<>- >Check for Calf A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now." -<>- >Playing Fetch The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise. "You need to make sure the dog runs around," the doctor said. "Try playing a game of fetch." "I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said. "Why not?" the doctor asked. "Because," she replied, "He can't throw." -<>- >What's the Capital of Wyoming? A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." Her friend asks, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy... 'W'." -<>- _ _.,----, __ _.-._ / '-. - ,._ \) | `-)_ '-. \ / < _ )/" } /__ '-. \ '-, ___(c-(6)=(6) , `'. `._ '. _,' >\ " ) :;;,,'-._ '---' ( ( "/`. -='/ ;:;;:;;, '..__ ,`-.`)'- '--' ;';:;;;;;'-._ /'._| Y/ _/' \ '''"._ F | _/ _.'._ `\ L \ \/ '._ \ .-,-,_ | `. `'---, \_ _| // 'L / \, ("--',=`)7 | `._ : _, \ /'`-._L,_'-._ '--' '-.\__/ _L .`' '.// [ ( / ) `{ snd \__) >Q and A Quickies Q: What do you get when you cross a wolf with a ceramicist? A: A hairy potter. Q: How do Priests travel from church to church? A: By holy-copter. Q: What do you call a frozen police officer? A: A copsicle! Q: What do you call scared dinosaurs? A: Nervous Rex! Q: What happens when you disagree with a skunk? A: It raises a stink! -------|-------------------------------------------------|--------- ___|___ ___|___ ////////\ _ _ /\\\\\\\\ //////// \ ('< >') / \\\\\\\\ | (_) | | (^) (^) | | (_) | |______|.===="== =="====.|______| ---------------------------------------------------------------ldb-- Q: What do you call two birds in love? A: Tweethearts. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: , `.-- .,-"" . ._,' . _,. `. , / .'.oo`.. `. `- .__.-' :: .; "-()-"`. \.-. / doida ; /'". ,"`'. "-- "-" .': : `----' "-" ' I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's jeans at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year." -<>- My sister didn't do as well on her driver's ed test as she'd hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: "When the ___ is dead, the car won't start." She wrote: "Driver." -<>- Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one. "There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor. They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. "Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us." The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?" "That's right," he called back, "two pints." -<>- ,---------. ||"""""""|| || || |/-->&<--\| | (._.) | | ( @ ) | | /|`"|\ | //(_\___/_)\\ \\_()___()_// `+---I---+' |\(_)|(_)/| _|j"""""""|j_ | |_______| | |_| |_| hjw My ten-month-old was sitting in her chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife who was trying to feed her said to me, "Straighten her up." I looked at my daughter and said, "What are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It's time to grow up and take some responsibility." My wife hasn't asked me to help with her since. -<>- I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. "Start with a capital S, then 123," she shouted back. We tried S123 several times, but it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, "I really don't know what's so difficult about typing 'Start123.'" ========================================================= >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop :) /"""""/""""""". / / \ __ / / \ || /____ / \ || | | In Loving | || | | Memory | || | | | || | | 3/4/25-2/9/98 | || | | * * * * | _||_ | | *\/* *\/* | | TT | | | *_\_ / ...""""""| || |.""....""""""""."" | | \/.."""""..."""\ || /.""".......""""... | |...."""""""........""""""^^^^"......."""""""".." |......"""""""""""""""........"""""...."""""..""-Ray W. A woman is at her mother’s funeral and she meets this hunk of a guy. It was love at first sight. The next week the woman murders her sister. Q: What was her motive? If you answer this question like the following, look out! You just may be a psychopath! A: She wanted to meet the guy again at the next funeral. -<>- | \ | ____________ ____________ | / O * maytag \ / O O maytag \ | |____________| |____________| | | ____________ || | | || ||| | | || ]||| | | /\ ____ || ||| | _______ | [| ||Tide|||____________||| | |#####| | __|__||____||______________||______________|__|#####|___| |#####| jro\ >Dear Tide Laundry Detergent People, I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. In fact, about a month ago, while at my mother-in- law's house, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. She started to berate me about my drinking problem. One thing lead to another and I ended up with a lot of her blood on my white blouse, as well. I tried to get the stain out using her bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out On my way home, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and all of the stains came out! They came out so well, in fact, that the DNA tests were negative! I thank you, once again, for a great product. Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people. -<>- "Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" "I heard him tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit." -<>- A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five." -<>- __ o / |/ _/___|___________ / _______ __\ _______ / /_o_||__| | \_\_\_\______________________/___ | \ \____________|______________ \ || | \ +_||_+ () () () ____| \ | \ _ ,, _ / ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ \_.=" )" "-._____,' ";__________________ /_^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^ \__|==% ^^ ^^ ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^ ^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^^ ^^^^^ Sabian@pacbell.net >BOATING magazine runs a contest for clever boat names. Reeling in the honors have been: Sir Osis of the River Aqua Seltzer Out to Launch A lawyer's boat called ~ Watertight Alibi Meals on Reels The Merri Yot and, from a landscape contractor, Yard Buoy. --- ...Here's some more for you... Humorous Boat Names http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/boatnames.html -<>- From: Don Saklad Subject: How to sort out an ASCII diagram. Boston Public Library floor plan. _______________________________________________________________ / / ___ / South Gallery /_ / / // /_____/________________________________________ / /_ / / _____________________________ / / / Entrance / /__ __/ / Fine / / / to BPL / / /_/Elevator / Arts / / / -> / // / / / / / / / //Stairs /Cheverus Room / / / / / // /___/ / Music / / / / /______/ / / / / / / / / Elevator _ / / / / / /____________________________/ ___________/_/ / / / / / / / / / / / Rare Books / / / / 3rd fl / / & Manuscripts / / / /______________________________________________________________/ / / /______________________________________________________________/ / /______________________________________________________________/ 1st floor >You know you are from Boston if.... 1. You have to dial the area code to call your neighbor. 2. You think crosswalks are for babies. 3. Khaki's are something you start the car with. 4. You think if someone's nice to you, they either want something or they're from out of town (and probably lost). 5. You know how to cross 4 lanes of traffic in 5 seconds. 6. If you hear someone say "pahk the cah in hahvad yahd" one more time you're going to dope slap them upside the head. 7. Anything past Worcester is "the middle of nowhere." 8. You are amazed when traveling out of town that people who work at McDonald's speak English. 9. You think it's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you. 10. You know that a yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through... 11. And that a red light means 2 more can. 12. Crown Victoria = undercover cop 13. Subway is a fast food place. The transportation system is known as the "T", and only the "T." 14. For the cost of your house, you could own a small town in Iowa. 15. There are 6 Dunkin Donuts within 20 minutes of your house. 16. You or someone in your family has a Smart Tag. 17. When people talk about the "curse of the Bambino", you know what they're talking about (and believe in it too). 18. You know what the blinking red light atop the Hancock tower means in the summer. 19. You think of Rhode Island as the "deep south." 20. You think the Yankees suck. 21. You believe using a turn signal "gives away your plan to the enemy." 22. If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have 3 names. 23. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green. 24. You've honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green. 25. All the potholes just add excitement to your driving experiences. 26. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it. 27. 6 inches of snow is considered a "dusting." 28. 3 days of 90+ heat is definitely a "heat wave" and 63-degree water is "wicked warm." 29. $25 to park is a bargain. 30. You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress try to do "the Boston accent" in a movie; if you don't have it, you're never gonna get it right, even if you were born here. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) >In Honor Of Twilight Zone Day: Wave Frozen In Time http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wave.html Alien-Looking Places On Earth http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/alienlooking.html Real Fantasy Trees http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trees.html Enter At Your Own Risk http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/risky.html Bizarre Nature http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bizarrenature.html Cool Optical Illusions http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/optical.html Sweet Wooden Car http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woodcar.html Crop Circles 2009 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mystery2.html Rock Balancing Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rockbalancingart.html Amazing Sinkholes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sinkholes.html Weird Old Vehicles http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/oldvehicles.html The Shilin Stone Forest http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stoneforest.html Underwater River In Mexico! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/underriver.html World's Largest Holes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/holes.html Amazing Light Pillars http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lightpillars.html Lenticular Clouds Or UFO? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ufo.html Weird Rainy Days http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rainyday.html Elephant Hotel http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elhotel.html The LOOK http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thelook.html Owned By Trees http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/treeowned.html Japan's Crop Circle Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cropart.html Jellyfish Lake http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jellyfish.html Mysteries Around The World http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/worldmysteries.html What Your GPS Won't Show You http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gps.html World's Largest Web http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/web.html Eye Catching Humor http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eyecatching.html COVID-19 Effect On US Cities http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coronaviruscities.html -<>- Jerry Seinfeld The Soup Nazi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euLQOQNVzgY Funny Chickens Chasing... People! Hilarious! https://tinyurl.com/yao7uxxp -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A tribute to Little Richard: 'Long Tall Sally' and 'Tutti Frutti' from the film 'Don't Knock The Rock.' https://youtu.be/LVIttmFAzek --- ...May he RIP - Thanks LouiseAu! Watch illusionist and magician winner Tomer Dudai as he performs his amazing magic on Israel's Got Talent 2018. https://youtu.be/DXxtLIb0iF8 Master magician Marc Paul performs the legendary "Berglas" card miracle on the "Parkinson Show" (BBC). https://youtu.be/mdXIVQ-asqU --- ...Pretty masterful! Thanks LouiseAu! A 1920's vintage Dodge Brothers sedan shows us how the old-timers four-wheeled it through muddy fields and roads. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq2jY1trxqg --- ...Wow! Tougher than they looked! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Researchers are claiming that humans can only maintain close relationships with five people. Which should make for an interesting Mother's Day for my mom and her six kids." -Conan O'Brien "Industry experts are speculating that Chipotle could be planning to add breakfast options. Of course, Chipotle already has a breakfast option. It's the half a burrito you woke up next to." -Seth Meyers "The U.S. Surgeon General released a statement this week that said more Americans should start going on walks. Then to everyone's surprise, he added, 'Even if you're just going out to have a smoke. Just stand up for once.'" -Jimmy Fallon "A member of the band Journey said 'Don't Stop Believing' was inspired by the time he borrowed money from his dad to pay his dog's vet bill. Apparently, the dog was hit by a midnight train goin' anywhere." -Jimmy Fallon "Asian restaurant chain P.F. Chang's announced today it will open its first location in China. Of course, over there they'll be called 'P.F. Charles.'" -Seth Meyers "Some critics are now saying that NASA will be unable to use SpaceX's rocket because it's too small. However, SpaceX insists that it's just the cold weather." -Conan O'Brien "I read that hoarding is getting worse in the U.S. and affects over 15 million Americans. Of course it might be higher now, 'cuz I read that in a newspaper I've been saving since 2003." -Jimmy Fallon "A California man who police say was drunk and hungry broke into a Taco Bell this weekend in the middle of the night and ate taco ingredients. It's one of those rare offenses where the punishment is the crime." -Seth Meyers "7-Eleven has announced they are going to be offering healthier options for their customers. The CEO said, 'We want our customers to live to be as old as one of our hot dogs.'" -Conan O'Brien My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. -- Steven Wright I went on that new 14-day diet and all I lost was two weeks. -- Sheila Kay >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah Shangy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->ShangyFunList AD RATES: $20 will get your a message (of up to 40 words) out to all self-subscribed readers and $5 more will give you the same message also put up for all web site readers. Email me to secure dates. Ad Request ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ********************************************************************** >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com **********************************************************************