Happy Valentine's Day... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ __, ,___) __, ,_) ,_) ______) (--|__| _, _ _ (--| /_ | _ ,_-|-',_ _', (--| \ _, _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _|/(_||(/_| || || |(//_) _|__/(_|(_| ( | | ,_| ( |_, |_, ( ,_| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /` \/ `\ _ _ /` \/ `\ _ _ /` \/ `\ _ _ /` \/ `\ _ _ \ / /` \/ `\ \ / /` \/ `\ \ / /` \/ `\ \ / /` \/ `\ '. .' \ / '. .' \ / '. .' \ / '. .' \ / \/ '. .' \/ '. .' \/ '. .' \/ '. .' jgs \/ \/ \/ \/ >SPECIAL LINKS For Valentine's Day.... POEMS: Friends Together http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/together.html I Need A Hug! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/hug.html It Takes Two! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/two.html Love's Lust! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/desire.html Moody Is My Day http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/need.html TEACHINGS: Our Valuable Anchor http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/ouranchor.html Choose His Children? http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/choosehischildren.html You Are The Only You God Has http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html SPECIAL PAGES: Best Friends! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html Friendship! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friendship.html God's Little Love Notes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/notes.html A Love Story http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovestory.html Love Thoughts http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/love.html Love Test http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html What Is Love 1 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wlove1.html What Is Love 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wlove2.html What Is Love 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wlove3.html Would You Care? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/care.html Jesus Laughing Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/Jesusart.htm Akiane Child Prodigy http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/prodigy.html Tale Of Two Swallows http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/swallows.html -+- ____ ____ .-" "-. .-" "-. / `. .' \ | (`-"-`) | | /'Y'\ | ; __\_^_/__ ; \ ()_ >o< _() / `\ ) : ( /' `\ / /-\ \ /' `\ ()/ \() /' jgs `\ /' `\ /' `\ /' Y >From Our Friend Trish ... Happy Valentine's Day! http://tinyurl.com/7h6yw6n >From Our Friend Brenda ... have a very happy Valentine's day http://www.alighthouse.com/valday.htm ...Awww, very nice and sweet of you! Thank you Ladies! -<>- ,===,._ | `", | / ,-..-"-.=-,,_/ /,- \.""-`\ )_ \_ - '--' \ / 0 __0 7_/ |/ _ (__) \ /`| |/(@) |` _.-"\-; '. \ # \/ /'_.-" \ \ `)\ .="#,_ __ _,'` ;-'-.`) __`;.#/|/ \/ \. | /` # | () |\ _.-"`` | .--# |'--' `-`\|-'` \ / `)\ `./ \| '. | .-#\ \ \ \ `\__/# \ |_ /`-. /| / # \|`-` . ` } / .#-, | ; ,} / / # `' , .} / /`\ # _,-' //` `#_ ,--'{ (( _,;` { } jgs `""` / } { ,-'` } `-._ .' _,-``, `\ (_(_(_.' `-.__)_)/ >-->2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Dog lovers will love these two new pages! Our First Hot Tottie is from our friends Linda and Jerry. A Valentine's Day delight with some most adorable dogs with dog quotes! Check it out here... Why We Love Dogs! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whydog.html --- ...My Goodness - Way too sweet! Thank You Linda and Jerry! This next hottie is just as adorable and sweet. It comes from our friends Linda and Sharon. This one is sure to give you some awws as well as amuse your 'doggy' bone! Check it out here... Dogs as Best Friends! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bestfriend.html --- ...Aww, so very cute! Thank You Linda and Sharon! ============================================================ >-->From TheFunnyBone: Inspirational Stuff!!!! ,@@@@@@, 1. It hurts to love someone and not ,@@@@@""@@, ( _ _ be loved in return. But what is , @@@@@ 6.6\@ :\ ( \/ ) more painful is to love someone {{^\@@@C _-_)@ : \ \ / and never find the courage {{:\\@@@) (@@' : \ \/ (\/) to let that person know {{::\\ / \---.:.__\_ \/ how you feel. \`::\( , \---:---._) `"`"; \ \|_.-;====I======{> 2. A sad thing in life is | \ _.-': / when you meet someone who (\/) | `"/ : / means a lot to you, only \/ // \/ : / to find out in the end \\_ \ :/ that it was never meant \ \ | ( to be and you have to ) ) ) let go. / / / jgs / / /_ 3. The best kind of friend is the (_(____) kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. 4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. 5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. .--. .--. 6. Don't go for looks, they can / \/ \ deceive. Don't go for wealth, | ;--. .--. even that fades away. Go for \ / \/ \ someone who makes you smile '. .'| | because it takes only a smmile to `\/` \ / make a dark day seem bright. '. .' `\/` 7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be because you have only one chance at life to do the things you want to do. 8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too. 9. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress, a loving word may heal and bless. __ _ / | 10. The happiest of people don't necessarily | \ \/_/ have the best of everything, they just \_\| / __ make the most of every- \/_/__\ .--='/~\ thing that comes along ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}} their way. -,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}} jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/ 11. Love begins with a /_/ |\\ smile, grows with a \/ kiss, ends with a tear. =========================================================== *--------- More Bizarre February Holidays ---------* February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your Sweet Day February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day February 15 is National Gum Drop Day February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day February 18 is National Battery Day February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day ============================================================ __,,,__ ,-""-,-" "-,-""-, /,-' , .-'-.7.-'-. , '-,\ \( / _ _ \ )/ '-, { (0) (0) } ,-' / > .---. < \ |/ .-' \___/ '-. \| {, / ,_ _, \ ,} \ {, \ / ,} / ',\. '---' ./,' _.-""""""-._ _.-""""""-._ .' `._.` '. _/_ _ \ .'` `\ | | \ / | | | ; | / |_| | \ ;'---' _ ___ _ _ ___ ; '. ; | | / \| || || _| _ ; `-\ | |_ | | || |/ /| _| .' `, `\ |___|\___/ \__/ |___| | \ \ _ _ \ | jgs `\ | | | /` _/ ,-""-. .'`\ | | | /`-,-'` .-""-, / `\.' `\ \___/ /` './` \ ; .--. \ '\ /' / .--. ; | ( \ |, '\ /' | / ) | \ ; } ;\ /; ` { ; / `;\ \ _.-' \ / `-._ / /;` \ \__.' _.-' Y `-._ '.__// '.___,.-' `-.,___.' >-->From YoLoHealth: 3 Ways To A Healthy, Happy Heart This Valentine's Day This Valentine's Day you should listen to your heart! Not in the conventional way, but in the practical, healthy way. Make sure to prioritize your heart health by following these 3 simple steps! Keep Reading... http://tinyurl.com/84pawpk 5 Decadent Healthy Valentine's Day Dishes Treat yourself right this Valentine's Day! Enjoy some decadent food, but with half the calories of last year's special day! Get the tips for the perfect Valentine's Day recipes here! Keep Reading... http://tinyurl.com/84om3kb ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Trish :) __.....__ .-"""-.-"`.- -.`"-.-"""-. / .--, .-. .-. , --. \ | / / ( o_)_(_o ) \ \ | | \_, ; '==`( )`==' ; ,_/ | \ ; "` '.' `" ; / `'--`'. -; . .'`--'` ;-._`'----'_.-; / / `'---'` \ \ / / \ \ / ; ; \ / | .----. | \ _,|`'; ' ;'`|,_ (_ | \ : / | _) (_\ \._ ' _./ /_) \ |.'-.....-'.| / jgs '.__/ \__.' >Top 10 Excuses For Not Giving a Valentine's Gift...... 10. "I got my fingers stuck together with Super Glue." 9. "I had to return a lot of overdue library books....a lot." 8. "I've been dealing with a suspicious rash." 7. "I've been on the phone with the Jerry Springer people trying to convince them that I really shouldn't be on the show." 6. "I changed the locks on my front door and couldn't get out of my house." 5. "My dog has been suffering from depression and I've been focused on her." 4. "My horoscope said it was a really bad month to spend money." 3. "I've had to spend a lot of time blocking and reporting suspicious users on Twitter." 2. "Buying people gifts for Valentine's Day just seems like bribing them to love you." 1. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, no mere maerial object could sufficiently convey my feelings for you." --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Trish =========================================================== >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) .-.*_, {*(,\}/___ .-"-, `;)@\*|" `", _.' \ '((/; | .-' | *;-.=-=-=._ .;-, | __;____..---/' -,\ ; .--';`_ __.-'` _/ / / `;---'__0 \ .' | / (__) \ _.' _.-,_ { |-'` ({\*,;) \,'-`-' /' /*(@-'}) ___",_ __ __,;`.--, \_,'-;}`.' `'."".,---.._, ) / _`) |`----'`( (= /`-._ / ', \ =";`--'\ '=. /| ()() | | /` / |\ '. ` | ()@()* | ,_/.=\ .; | | '. /-' -##@() \ || '--'/| \ \ \`-` ##)@() '.||_,.--'/ / / ) |/ *`(\A/)() || { |.'.| /_.'./ .-.* { >*< }*) |/ { | (\A/) @(/V\)()@() /{ \___{ >*< }()()##()()*{ { \ / ###(/V\)()@()(####\) | `--.. ,' #########()()##### { / <><><><><><><><><> \ | | ; \ / jgs \ | / _.-'` { `-. .' } .`\ `.-' _.-'`'-._ \' `"""` `""""` >Sometimes what you eat does not fully affect you right away! A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM SOUTH TEXAS COUNSELED HIS GRANDDAUGHTER THAT IF SHE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HER OATMEAL EVERY MORNING. THE GRANDDAUGHTER DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY TO THE AGE OF 103 WHEN SHE DIED. SHE LEFT BEHIND: 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, 25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 15-FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE. Sorta brings a tear to your eye, don't it? --- ...HaHA! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- .--. .-""-. |,=._\..-"""""-.' -. | \.-' .---.---. ';./ .' //o\ /o\\ '. / \'-'__ '-'/ \ | / (__) \ | \ | ( | / '. \_-.__.-_/ _.-' "--.__'.__.'__..-"; / '----' , '. .-"" ( _..-"` \ .---/ _\----(_ _.;. '--(_(_(_\--. .--/ .-"-' ,`| - ' | | | \_\_\_/ / / ' _\ .-| |_ __ /=' ' .' `. | | ./` `\ .' . | ooo___| |_|_ooo .-' \ (_'---. .---'_) / ' jgs '.__.' | | '.___.' ' . ' | | ' ' ' | | ' \| === ' . |_|-. . \| >Pogo Moose Incident - Columbia Falls, Montana. Northwestern Energy crews were laying new power cables which were strung on the ground for miles. The moose are rutting right now and very agitated. He was thrashing around and got his antlers stuck in the cables. When the men (miles away) began pulling the lines up with their big equipment, the moose went up with them.They noticed excess tension in the lines and went searching for the problem. He was still alive when they lowered him to the ground. He was a huge 60 inch bull and slightly teed off!' >>>View Pole Moose Here... http://tinyurl.com/6rgvylm --- ...LMAO! Just when you think you've seen it all! Thanks PatDeE! ============================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) .-.*_, ."". ."". {*(,\}/___ .-"-, | ' | `;)@\*|" `", _.' \ \ / ."". ."". '((/; | .-' | '. .' | ' | *;-.=-=-=._ .;-, | ' \ / __;____..---/' -,\ ; _,__ '. .' .--';`_ __.-'` _/ / ,-..-" "-, ' / `;---'__0 \ .' /,- \. \-. | / (__) \ _.' \_ - - \ _.-,_ { |-'` / 0 __0 7_/ ({\*,;) \,'-`-' /' |/ (__) \ /*(@-'}) ___",_ __ __,;`.--, |/ |` \_,'-;}`.' `'."".,---.._, ) \ \/ /'_.-"/ _`) |`----'`( (= /`-._ .="-,_ __ _,'` / ', \ =";`--'\ '=. /| ()() __`;.____...-'\. | | /` / |\ '. ` | ()@()* /` ' | ,_/.=\ .; | | '. /-' -##@() | .--, `y-'`\ || '--'/| \ \ \`-` ##)@() \ / `) \ '.||_,.--'/ / / ) |/ *`(\A/)() '. | ,-' } || { |.'.| /_.'./ .-.* { >*< }*) `\__/ _..._| |/ { | (\A/) @(/V\)()@() /`--....--` . `} /{ \___{ >*< }()()##()()*{ { ; } { \ / ###(/V\)()@()(####\) { , } | `--.. ,' #########()()##### \ _,' { / <><><><><><><><><> `,_ ,--'{ \ | | } { } ; \ / jgs / } { \ | / ,-` } `-._ _.-'` { `-. .' _,-``, `\ .' } .`\ \(_(_.' `-.__)_)/ `.-' _.-'`'-._ \' `"""` `""""` It is so unusual to get a funny, non political, non sexist, non racist and non doomsday message that I wanted to make your day by sending it along! I know you'll enjoy it. >THE POTTY A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE." BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY' YET." MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES, BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?" >>> View Billy Here... http://tinyurl.com/6rgvylm BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP." ENJOY LIFE NOW....IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE. --- ...LOL! a Good One! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >True Story Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow. The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA responded with a one-line memo -- "Defrost the chicken." (True Story) --- ...OH My! HAHA! Thanks Bunni! -<>- >From Alaska…. Excellent Pipeline Info http://tinyurl.com/87qa4x5 --- ...Most Interesting! Thanks Bunni -<>- Well worth sharing. __ _ / \_/ ) \ ` `\ ; a `-. | ) \ _..' /` <._._ / .'';_;'` \ .' : _/ / '. __..-` / | | \/\ \._ \ \ | ``--J \ | / \ | jgs \__.'-._____.' PRAYER REQUEST I have a prayer request. There's a lady I've known forever. She's very sick. On top of that, she's being abused by those to whom she has given everything. Lies about her abound, and seem to come from all sides. Just breaks my heart. Seems there's nothing I can do alone. But maybe, if we join in and lift her up to God, together we can heal her. She's well over 200 years old, but way too young to die. Her name is America ... and I love her. PLEASE KEEP THIS CIRCULATING --- ...Amen! Thanks Bunni! =========================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [politics] >From Our Friend EdLaF :) My infiltration of Occupy DC http://tinyurl.com/6wzdbmm Video: Must Watch Video On How Big Brother Monitors You http://tinyurl.com/7w84shs --- ...Interesting! Thanks EdLaF: -<>- >From GodfatherPolitics: It's Not about Contraceptives -- It's About Power! http://tinyurl.com/7qcppk9 -<>- >From ConservativeByte: We Have Never Seen an American Politician with the Intentions of Barack Obama http://tinyurl.com/7cj7usl Santorum Offers Clear Contrast to Obama http://tinyurl.com/7rznyxg -<>- >From BizarreNews: The old wisdom, if you find yourself on fire is to stop, drop and roll. I would make this addendum; do not throw your baby out of a second story window before you stop, drop and roll. Better yet, do not become involved in a relationship with the kind of person who would set you on fire over rent money while you are holding a baby. That would probably be the best idea. They take their rent money seriously in Cleveland. Police say Kevin Ford was haggling with his girlfriend Tiffany Lawson over rent money she supposedly owed him when he suddenly doused her in lighter fluid and set her ablaze while she was clutching her 18-month-old son. Witnesses said Lawson rushed to her second floor window and tossed him to neighbors, who had gathered below after hearing her screams. Lawson then followed her baby out of the window to escape her boyfriend, who, apparently still had some matches. She managed to put herself out, and both she and the baby were rushed to the hospital. Fortunately there was somebody outside of that window with good hands to catch that baby, so the story had a happier ending than it might otherwise have had. Or it would have been happier if the person who caught the baby hadn't spiked it. *-- Two beers cost family $2,550 --* INDIANAPOLIS - An Indiana family said they were shocked when their credit card statement said a pair of beers they bought at a convention cost $1,497.50 each. The family, who asked not to be named, said the beers at the NFL Experience concession stand at the Indiana Convention Center Jan. 28 were supposed to cost a total $14, but they later found their credit card had instead been charged $2,995, WXIN-TV, Indianapolis, reported Thursday. "We just went up there and grabbed two beers signed it, got our drinks and went on," the credit card owner said. "Even though there may be lines and people waiting and everyone wants to get through quickly, still make sure you check the cost of everything and when you get home check your statements because you never know with such a big event there could be an error somewhere." The convention center's concession manager, Centerplate, issued a statement Wednesday night saying officials are working to correct the overcharge. The company said such problems are rare. *-- 'Jack Sparrow' injured in costume fracas --* LOS ANGELES - Police in Los Angeles were looking for Catwoman and two sidekicks Thursday after Jack Sparrow was assaulted in a fight among people dressed as movie characters. The costumed characters pose for pictures with tourists on Hollywood Boulevard and expect to be paid for the service, the Los Angeles Times reported. Local ordinances bar them from asking directly for money, although they are permitted to accept tips. In recent months, SpongeBob Squarepants and Spider-Man have both been arrested after altercations. Police Officer Norma Eisenman said Thursday's fracas played out in front of an audience of tourists. The injured man, dressed as the lead pirate in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, was not seriously hurt. Catwoman, an alien and another pirate took off before police arrived, and officers fanned out to look for them. *-- Robber had shorts on his head --* STOCK ISLAND, Fla. - Police in Florida said a man accused of attempted bank robbery wore a pair of shorts on his head during the crime, but they didn't cover his face. The Monroe County Sheriff's Office said Eli Escalera, 43, was wearing the shorts like a hat Friday when he walked into the First State Bank on Stock Island near Key West at 12:30 p.m. and handed a note to a teller reading, "Give me what are 20s and 50s," KeysNet.com reported Monday. The confused teller asked Escalera what he wanted and he responded by saying "nevermind" and leaving the bank, investigators said. The bank manager called authorities and Deputy Matt Dowling spotted Escalera on a nearby street. The suspect attempted to flee on a bicycle, but was quickly apprehended, authorities said. The sheriff's office said investigators do not know why Escalera was wearing shorts on his head. *-- Neighbors' garage door openers all quit --* ST. CHARLES, Mo. - Neighbors on a Missouri cull-de-sac said they are baffled as to why all of their garage door openers stopped working at the same time. The residents of the five homes on Westhampton View Court in St. Charles said their garage door openers stopped operating Dec. 26 and 27 and they have been unable to identify any new causes of interference in the area to explain the issue, The St. Louis (Mo.) Post-Dispatch reported Monday. "You'd see one of the neighbors pull up to the garage and get out of the car," Gilbert Ballman said. "Pretty soon we were asking each other, 'Are you having trouble with your garage door too?'" The neighbors said a technician from The Chamberlain Group, which makes Liftmaster openers, is scheduled to investigate the problem this week. All but one of the residents said they use Liftmaster devices. The residents said they have all filed complaints with the Federal Communications Commission, but it is unknown how long the agency will take to investigate. ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend Linda :) Happy Valentine's Day ((`'-"``""-'`)) ) - - ( / o _ o \ \ ( 0 ) / _, '-..__^__..-' ,_ (:'`'-/ \-'`':) `'-.; .;;;;;. ;.-'` ; ;;;;;;; ; / ';;;;;' \ jgs / ;._____.; \ _\ \ / /_ (((___| |___))) >THE GYNECOLOGIST WHO BECAME A MECHANIC If you don't laugh out loud on this one, your "laughter" might be broken! A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?" "The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career". --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Linda! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Brenda :) .-. _ _./.- ) ( `\ .--.' '. .' `'._ | C e_ / `\ '-. e/o \_a ,_/ | \_u/ o\a | \. \/_/.-.__/ .;."-...-' \ \'-. .' \ .' / '. / '--.--' / \ | \__..-'` |) (| | \ /-. \ __ / '.""-.__.' \ ;` `\--; | \'. /`| | | | | | \ \_; | \ ))) / | '._/ jgs \ )))""` ((( / `"""` `"""` >The Old Couple Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm hot. Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times. Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you. Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate. Husband: You don't love me anymore. Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight. Husband: Please...go on. Wife: All right, I'll do it. Husband: What's the matter? You need a flashlight? Wife: I can't find it in the dark. Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it! Wife: There! Are you satisfied? Husband: Oh, yes. Wife: Is it up far enough? Husband: Yeah! that's good. Wife: Right! Now go to sleep. And the next time you want the bloody window open, do it yourself. Now, what were you expecting? --- ...LOL! Thanks Brenda! -<>- ,__ __, /'-.'-._..-----.._.-'.-'\ | \.-' '-./ | \_.-' '-._/ /` _ _ `\ ; (@) (@) ; | _..-----.._ | | .' .-. '. | ; / ( ) \ ; \ | '.' | / '. \ : / .' '-:-..__:__..-:-' jgs `'-._.-'` >How to Quit Smoking Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette. 'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Ken responds. 'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Peter with a grin. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.' 'Phase one?' wonders Ken. 'Yeah,' replied Peter, 'I've quit buying.' --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Brenda! -<>- ,-""""-, ,-""""-, .' '. .' '. / __ \ ___ / __ \ | / \ |.-~~ ~~-.| / \ | \ \ ` ' / / \ / .' .--. .--. '. .' '. / .-. .-. \ / / \ / \ \ / |.=.| |.=.| \ / |o | |o | \ ; \__/.-"""""-.\__/ ; | ,` `, | | \ / | ; '--._ _.--' ; \ ._,' . Y . '._, / \ | . . | . . | / \ \ .'. / / \ '.___.-'._.'-.___.' / jgs '. .' /~=,_/'._ _.-'\_,=~\ / = ~=,_'-._ _.-' _,=~ = \ | = ~=,_`~~--..,,__,,..--~~` _,=~ = | / = = ~=,_ _,=~ = = = \ | = = = = '-.-"~~~"-.-' = = = = | | = = = '-./ = = \.-' = = = | / = = = - ( = = = ) - = = = \ \ = = = .-'\ = = /'-. = = = / | = = = = _.'-.,,,.-'._ = = = = | \ = = _,=~ / = | \ ~=,_ = = / | = = _,=~ / = / = \ ~=,_ = = | \ = _,=~ |= / \ \ ~=,_ = / \_,=~ | = | | = | ~=,_/ / = / | =| / = / \ = \ /= _.-' \ = \ '--' `'-.__\ >A Visit to the Doctor Last week when I went to the doctor, the kindly gentleman asked the question I knew he was going to ask: "Now, what are we planning to do about that excess weight you're carrying around?" "I don't know, doc. You want to haul it around for a while?" "Be serious." "I am serious. Look, it just must be an overactive thyroid." "No, your thyroid's perfectly normal. If there's anything overactive, it's your fork!" --- ...LOL! Thanks Brenda! -<>- >What is... An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather , who was working in the yard and asked him "Grandpa, what is sex ?" The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question , but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question , then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out , he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilities of intercourse. When he finished explaining , the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement . Seeing the look on her face , the grandfather asked her , " Why did you ask this question, honey ?" The little girl replied , " Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple of secs." --- ...Whoops! HaHa! Thanks Brenda! ====================================================== >-->From Our Friend Johanna :) _.----._ .' __ '. / - (oo) - \ .--""'` /~\|=~|/~\ `'""--. ( (^'^) _ \0/|= |\0/ _ (^'^) ) \ \ / ( /==\ ) \ / / \ ^ /\ (=__=) /\ ^ / _`""` \ `\/` / `""`_ /OOO\___/`--.__.--`\___/OOO\ | | | | \ / | | \ / `--. / (\/) \ .--` `'/ \/ \'` / \ ; ; | | | | \ () / \-._ _.-/ / __`------`__ \ |:---. || .---:| jgs \`--=-'/\'--=-`/ /()()()\/()()()\ `""""""``""""""` >Terrorist Groups in Church Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in many of our churches. They have been identified as: Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin. Their leader, Lucifer Bin Workin, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as Christians and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and destroy. However, there have been reports of a sixth group. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Prayin is actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church. Unlike other terrorist cells, the Bin Prayin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along. Bin Prayin does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of Christ. We have noticed that the Bin Prayin cell group has different characteristics than the others. They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin Fastin, and Bin Longin for their Master, Jesus Christ to return. No church is exempt! You can spot them if you bin lookin and bin goin. -- Author Unknown --- ...'SMILES' Thanks Johanna! =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: .-""-._,-"""-,_.-""-. / .- , (.)_(.) , -. \ | (_ / -\_/- \ _) | '._.\ '.___. /._.' `'-.....-'` jgs ((() ())) Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young woman driving the beverage cart. As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her, "You're in great shape. You must work out a lot." Flattered, she gave him a big smile and gushed, "Oh, thank you so much!" The next day a different young woman was driving the cart. "Watch this," I whispered. I walked up to her and said, "Wow, you must work out a lot." "Yeah," she replied. "You should try it." -<>- After I asked for a half-pound trout fillet at my super- market's seafood counter, the clerk picked one out of a pile and set it on the scale. It weighed precisely eight ounces. Impressed, I asked, "How did you know which one to pick?" Looking pleased with himself, he declared, "I'm psychotic." -<>- Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the bath- room, I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restrooms. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the ther stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?' I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just fine.' And the other person says: 'So what are you up to?' What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling.' At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. 'Can I come over?' Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them 'No..I'm a little busy right now!' Then I hear the person say nervously... 'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions. -<>- __..._.-. .-._...__ /.-. '-.) (.-' .-.\ \', \ / ,'/ | o'--D c--'a | \ / | | \ / ;._ _\ '-/ \-' /_ _.; .' __ `\`.-"-. .-"-.`/` __ '. .' .' '.|' ' '|.' '. '. / \ '._, I ,_.' / \ ; '-._ \ LUV / _.-' ; (| /'-.__/ U \__.-'\ |) \ __ ,' '-. .-' ', __ / `/ `\.-'| '.' |'-./` \` | | '-. .-' | | | '-. ) ( .-' | jgs \ )-' '-( / '-----' '-----' The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and straw- berry." -<>- I requested identification from a department-store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase. After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address. It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank. -<>- Fellow employees at the international company where I work know I'm a notary public and have me certify personal documents. One day, two Swedish men asked me to witness signatures on an automobile title. "I'm selling my car to this man," one of them explained. "We came here because we heard you were notorious." ========================================================== >-->From JokeCentral: __ __ /_ \_.--"""--._/ _\ \ ) _ _ ( / | (o)___(o) | | \_/ | \ | / \ / \_ _ _/ ___)==( )==(___ /' //\ `\ / // \\ \ / | |/ \| | \ /,_ /| |\ _,\ ((_// | | \\_)) `-' | | `-' | | | | | _ | / / \ \ jgs / / \ \ / / \ \ _/ / \ \_ ( _____ / \ _____ ) '-----' `-----' Exercise Program The Doctor told me, I should start an exercise program. Not Wanting to harm this old body, I've devised the following: Monday Beat around the bush Jump to conclusions Climb the walls Wade through the morning paper Tuesday Drag my heels Push my luck Make mountains out of mole hills Hit the nail on the head Wednesday Bend over backwards Jump on the Band Wagon Run around in circles Thursday Advise the President on how to run the country Toot my own horn Pull out all the stops Add fuel to the fire Friday Open a can of worms Put my foot in my mouth Start the ball rolling Go over the edge Saturday Pick up the pieces. Sunday Kneel in prayer Bow my head in thanksgiving Uplift my hands in praise Hug someone and encourage them. Whew! What a workout --- Amy Ong My kind of workout! - J.R. -<>- __ / \ /'. / | Some bunny loves you! ||'.\| | || \\ / /\ __ /^\/^\ \\ \\'```'-._ ; | /\ \ \ / \'./` __ `P | _/ /\_| `\/` \ .__|' ` -.| | ,' \ /^\/^\ \ .| - - | \ / \____,..-` \ _Y_ __/ `\/` / / `---'"""` `\ \| . __.._/ | '-.__.-""``.-./ |\ | ( _.'` |\ || .-| `` || || | ; || // jgs '-'\ //` `"""""""""`"""""` Country Pearls . . . Don't name a pig you plan to eat. Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps. Mortgaging a future crop is saddling a wobbly colt. A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor. Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked. Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles. Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled. Meanness don't happen overnight. To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful. Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads. -<>- "The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyyst ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^- Notes From the Readers >From Bob I think your Computer Humor about Microsoft dinners was very funny, but I found it less than complete. These paragraphs should have also been included: No other company is allowed to create items to be used with Microsoft dinners without first partnering with Microsoft. This is solely to protect the consumer and is not intended to impede progress and creativity in the dinner industry. This includes, but is not limited to desert. You may not play a game or use an application while you eat your Microsoft dinner unless that game or application was designed by a Microsoft partner and is certified by Microsoft to be %100 compatible with your Microsoft dinner. You are only leasing your Microsoft dinner, you agree to not "reverse engineer" your Microsoft dinner or send it out of the country. You may store one backup Microsoft dinner for personal use. * Thanks Bob for catching that! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Howdy to whom it may concern, The Fun with Telemarketers piece that you ran today is actually entitled "AT&T." How do I know? I am the author and copyright owner. I'm glad you liked the piece enough to place it in LABLaughs, however, it would be nice to see credit given to the author. I know he would appreciate it. No he wouldn't. Yes he would. No. Yes. Stop arguing. Have a nice day, peace, love, best regards and all that crap, Robert Byron *Robert we look forward to publishing more of your work! Although you may want to get that problem looked at by a professional! ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^- Top ten things not to say on your Anniversary 10. I stopped caring about anniversaries when you stopped caring about cooking. 9. Today is our what? 8. Okay, let's celebrate, but do we have to celebrate together? 7. I thought we only celebrated important events? 6. You can celebrate anniversaries with your next husband. 5. You don't like what I pick out, so I thought why bother. 4. I got you a present worth a dollar for every time you were nice to me this year. Here's a $5 gift certificate for McDonald's. 3. If you want me to pretend like I care about our anniversary, I will. 2. You want to go out to dinner? Okay, okay, I'll take you to Pizza Hut if it'll shut ya up. 1. I thought you only had to celebrate anniversaries while you were still in love. ^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^-.,.-^- O O O /|'./ \.'|\ \|A__A__A|/ / o o \ \ (^) / ."-._.-", /`=._O_.='\ / /|`"""`|\ \ / \| |/ \ jgs /| \'\_ _/'/ |\ _ / _\/`\ { } /`\/_ \ _ / \-' \_/_/ \_\_/ '-/ \ \_/_..--'/_____\'--.._\_/ Dumb Laws Arizona Crazy Law Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West. There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses. Hunting camels is prohibited. Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water. Glendale Cars may not be driven in reverse. Globe Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American. Hayden If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined. Maricopa County No more than six girls may live in any house. (I "wonder" where THIS ordinance came from?! - J.R.) Mesa It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license. Mohave County A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up. Nogales An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders. Prescott No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house. Tucson Women may not wear pants. Tombstone It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. -<>- SNUGGLE _ _ BUNNIES ( \/ ) _ ((`\ \ / //) \\ \ \/ /// \\ \__ __/// / \_ _/ \ | ^ )( ^ | ) { } ( / \;__:, \ \ | \ ) / | _| '----'--' |_ {_\ / \ /_} | || || | jgs | )) (( | `""""`` ``"""` >Take us old guys! It has been said that if I could enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, D.C. I would. But,I am over 60 now and the Armed Forces say that I am too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older that 35 to join the military. They have got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You should not be able to join until you are at least 35. For starters: a.. Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. b.. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we will complain them into submission. My back hurts! I'm hungry! Where's the remote control? c.. An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you should not go to war until your at least old enough to legally drink. d.. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he is 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-16 would do wonders for the old beer belly. e.. An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early just to show we can (and steal the neighbors newspaper and pee). f.. If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we would probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. g.. Boot Camp would actually be easier for old guys. We are used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. h..We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been to the desert and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side. j.. And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. k.. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He is still learning to shave. To actually carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out. To learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death. Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on Sept. 11th. The last thing they would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) You Are The Only You God Has http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html Quit Smoking http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/quitsmoking.html 90/10 Principle http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/giving.html Dreamy Ladies http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dreamy.html Friends http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friends.html Angel Falls http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angelfalls.html Beautiful Flowers http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bflowers.html Expensive Hotel Rooms http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ehotels.html Luxury Yacht http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/luxyacht.html Men Will Be Boys http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/menboys.html Sweets For The Sweet http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sugar.html -<>- >From Our Friend EdLaF :) What Women Want http://townhall.com/columnists/katiekieffer/2012/02/13/what_women_want --- ...So true! Thanks EdLaF: Never forget Ladies - you ALWAYS have God Almighty as your best Father figure and your Lord Jesus Christ as your best male role model! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Spain’s Abandoned Sitges-Terramar Racetrack http://goo.gl/Lty7I --- ...Super! Thanks Welsey! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Derry Heart/Valentine http://silverandgoldandthee.net/D_H/D_Li.html Melva/Valentine http://silverandgoldandthee.net/HDy/H_V.html Melva/Valentine http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Holiday2/ValentineAgo.html Rick w/ How Do I Love Thee (Valentines Day Page) http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/ra/LoveThee.html John w/ ~Love~ Happy Valentines Day http://heavens-gates.com/valentine/ Visit Melissa's Online Store You can get anything you want (except for Melissa ) at the online store http://pdhomes.net/mall/babylissa/mySTORES/ISELL4.html If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices." -William James "Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity." -Karl Marx "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." -George Orwell I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day. "I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners." —-Jeff Stilson "What really concerns me about these new "smart" appliances is that even if we like the features, we won't be able to use them. I don't know how to operate my TV, which requires THREE remote controls. One control (44 buttons) came with the TV; a second (39 buttons) came with the VCR; the third (37 buttons) was brought here by the cable-TV man, who ap- parently felt that I did not have enough buttons. So when I want to watch TV, I'm confronted with a total of 120 buttons, identified by such helpful labels as PIP, MTS, DBS, F2, JUMP and BLANK." -Dave Barry .-"""-. .-"""-. / `..' \ | | | H A P P Y | \ VALENTINE'S / __\ D A Y ! / _ / |`\ /' | \ \/_/ `\ /' \_\| / __ `\ /' \/_/__\ `\/' .--='/~\ ____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}} -,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}} jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/ /_/ |\\ \/ >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chriistian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************