He-She Was So Dumb... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) In an effort to get the group emails to those that are still not receiving my emails, I have changed the email address to shangrala_shangy@yahoo.com Hopefully the change will mean AOL and others won't flag it as being spam or junk. Please add shangrala_shangy@yahoo.com to your email address list. Thank You!! :) -<>- >HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super hottie comes from our friend KarenF. It was one that left my jaw open as I never saw these little guys look so incredibly adorable before. I even thought the photos were faked until I read about the photographer and his skill. You have to check this one out! .-""-. ; .-. ; oo _.('.__.' :-..__// i".._'-.__.'_.._.-" fsc Magical Tiny Snails http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/snails.html --- ...Awww, so very cute! Thanks KarenF! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Two Priests Meet In Heaven Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?" .------._ The first priest says, "I've .-"""`-.<') `-._ always wanted to be an eagle, (.--. _ `._ `'---.__.-' soaring above the Rocky ` `;'-.-' '- ._ Mountains." .--'`` '._ - ' . `""'-. `---' , "So be it," says St. Peter, and `\ off flies the first priest. `\ .' `'. ' The second priest mulls this over for jgs `'. a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter ?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why ?" asketh the Lord. "He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota." ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ April 21 is Bulldogs are Beautiful Day April 22 is In God We Trust Day Day April 23 is English Language Day April 24 is Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day April 25 is DNA Day, Hug A Plumber Day or Plumbers Day April 26 is Bob Wills Day April 27 is Babe Ruth Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _.._ .-" "-. / ,- -. \ : ' o o ` ; ; . , : : :-.__.-: ; \ :_: :_: / `-._ _.-' bug "" >Ain't Broke Most people believe that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke," it doesn't have enough features yet. -<>- >On the Scale Having avoided the scale for a few years, my husband finally got up the nerve to climb aboard. Unable to read the numbers, he got off to grab his eyeglasses and stepped back on. "What do you know?" he called out. "These glasses weigh 30 pounds." -<>- >Search Engine I accidentally used AOL.Com to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future. -<>- >Tightwad A tightwad was convinced by a friend to buy a couple of lottery tickets. But after he won the big prize he didn't seem happy. "What's wrong?" the friend asked. "You just became a millionaire!" "I know," he groaned, "But I can't imagine why I bought that second ticket!" -<>- >What Kind of Pie? One outraged college student stomped up to the lunch line at the cafeteria, holding a plate with a piece of pie on it."This is disgusting!" he exclaimed. "What kind of pie do you call this?!" The lunch lady calmly put down her ladle, looked him in the eye and snarled, "And just what does it taste like?" "It tastes like cardboard and rubber cement!" the student cried. Lunch Lady thinks a moment, then replies, "That must be the apple. The cherry pie tastes like stale crackers and soap." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ............. .... .... .. .. .. .. . ___ ___ . . / , \ / , \ . . \___/ \___/ . .. . .. . .. O . . | | . . \ / . . \ / . .. \______________/ .. .. \_____\ \ \/ .. .... | \ |.... ...... | | | Derek S. Tan \___/ >SMILES A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it." -------- As I was treating my daughter and her family to the buffet at a casino, all the bells and whistles for a winning slot machine began to go off. My seven-year-old grandson was awed. "Wow!" yelled Casey. "This is like Chuck E. Cheese for old people." -------- When the car engine developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought special or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the roughness of the engine." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "It cost the same as always. I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth." ------- One old guy says to his buddy, "Ya know, the world is getting all screwed up. Every other day, you hear about someone else getting some debilitating disease. It's too bad you don't get a choice of which way you end up in life! What would you rather have, Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?" His buddy quickly replies, "Parkinson's, definitely, yep, Parkinson's.Better to spill half an ounce of Jack Daniels than to forget where you keep the damn bottle!!" -------- Two very elderly friends, Max and Wally, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Wally didn't show up. Max didn't think much about it, figured maybe he had a cold or some such. But after Wally hadn't shown up for a week or so Max really got worried. However, the only time they ever got together anymore (they used to play a lot of golf together) was at the park, and Max couldn't remember where Wally lived so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month passed and Max figured old Wally had gone to his heavenly reward, but one day Max approached the park and, lo and behold, there sat Wally! Max was very excited and happy to see him and told him so Then he said, "For crying out loud Wally, what happened to you?" Wally replied, "I have been in jail." "Jail?," cried Max!! "What in the world for?" "Well," Wally said, "You know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes get coffee?" "Yeah" said Max, "I remember her. What about her?" "Well one day last month she got mad at me and to get even, she charged me with rape. I was so proud of what everyone would think, that an old guy like me could still do, that when I got into court, I pled 'Guilty'. The judge then took a good look at me and gave me 30 days for perjury. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: Now ain't that a pisser? Portland officials are preparing to flush millions of gallons of treated water because someone urinated at a city reservoir. Water Bureau Administrator David Shaff said 38 million gallons will be discarded after a 19-year-old was videotaped in the act. The open reservoirs hold water that's already been treated and goes directly into mains for distribution to customers. The water will be drained into the sewage system that eventually dumps into the Columbia River. In the meantime, Shaff said the city has plenty of water to meet demand. "It's easy to replace those 38 million gallons of water," Shaff said. "We're not in drought-stricken parts of Texas or Oklahoma." The incident occurred shortly after 1 a.m., when Water Bureau security personnel noticed three men on camera at Mount Tabor Reservoir No. 5. One was seen on video urinating through an iron fence, officials said. Minutes later, two other young men attempted to scale the fence. The three men, whose names have not been released, were cited for trespassing and excluded from Mount Tabor Park. A 19-year-old was cited for public urination. If you're thinking that it seems to be pretty easy to piss into a reservoir that is ready to be distributed to customers, you'd be right. This isn't even the first time something like this has happened. Three years ago, the city drained a 7.5 million-gallon reservoir at the same Mount Tabor location. In fact, animals routinely deposit waste without creating a public health crisis, but Shaff said he doesn't want to serve water that was deliberately tainted. "There is at least a perceived difference from my perspective," Shaff said. "I could be wrong on that, but the reality is our customers don't anticipate drinking water that's been contaminated by some yahoo who decided to pee into a reservoir." *-- Florida judge is surprised at defendant Edward Cocaine appearing in court on drug charge --* FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (UPI) - A Florida judge was a little surprised when a bailiff announced the name of a man who was appearing in his courtroom on drug possession charges. Edward Cocaine. "What?" Judge John "Jay" Hurley responded. "You know, I'd thought I'd seen it all." Mr. Cocaine explained. "My last name is Cocaine," he said. "My great-grandparents came over here from Greece and they changed it. That was like in the 1920s." "How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?" Hurley asked. "Just about every time I get pulled over," Cocaine replied. The 34-year-old, who was accused of possessing Xanax, was released on his own recognizance. *-- Judge tells father to stop emailing his children in all capital letters --* LONDON (UPI) - A High Court judge in England told an "insensitive" father that he must stop emailing his children in all capital letters because it looks like he is yelling at them. The Israeli father is in a custody dispute involving his 13-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter. During the dispute, the children have been moving back and forth between England and Israel. The judge ordered that the father's old style of emails, which were "equivalent to him shouting," needed to be improved upon with the help of a family assistance officer. "He needs help to make his messages appropriate and child friendly," the judge said. "There's nothing worse than an email suggestive that the sender is shouting at you." Due to the communications problems, the relationship between the children and their father will be restored "at a distance." The parents of the children also need to work on their communications skills. "It is all about respect and a willingness to start again in the process of trying to interact as parents in a way which will enhance rather than harm their children," the judge said. "I wish them every success in that endeavor." *-- Minnesota boy, 14, takes school bus for joy ride --* ROSEVILLE, Minn. - A 14-year-old Minnesota boy went on a joyride in a school bus Monday with the episode ending with the bus clipping a gas pump at a service station, police said. No one was hurt during the teen's 3 1/2-mile adventure that began in St. Paul and ended in the neighboring suburb of Roseville, the (Minneapolis) Star Tribune reported. The boy was being held while charges were sorted out. Roseville police said the incident began when the Centerline Charter Corp. bus driver pulled up to a service station and left the keys in the ignition while she went inside to get a cup of coffee. When she came out, the bus was gone. The driver phoned her boss, police were contacted and the bus was tracked through its global positioning system device. The Star Tribune said the boy, apparently listening to the vehicle's radio, heard police were after him and took off in the vehicle, running a stoplight and stop sign, and dodging traffic along the way. The bus company's operations manager, who also had given chase, caught up to the bus and yelled at the teen driver to stop. The boy pulled into a service station but bumped into the gas pumps before coming to a halt, police said. Police said the boy told officers he thought the bus had been abandoned and he only wanted to return it to the charter company. *-- Police: Woman shot into McDonald's due to missing bacon --* GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - Police in Michigan said a woman accused of firing a gun into a McDonald's because her sandwich lacked bacon left her phone number with an employee. Authorities said Shaneka Monique Torres, 29, was a passenger in a car going through a McDonald's drive-through in Grand Rapids early Monday. She left her phone number with an employee at the first drive-through window after flirting with him, WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids, reported Tuesday. However, Torres apparently became angry at the second window when she and the other woman found their order was wrong, police said. The police report said Torres, whose sandwich lacked the bacon she ordered, then fired a gun through the closed window of the car and the round went into the drive-through window and crossed through the building without hitting anyone. Police said employees did not realize there had been a shooting at first and thought a coffee pot had exploded. Torres was tracked down at her home using the phone number she left for the worker, police said. She was arraigned Monday in Grand Rapids District Court on charges of carrying a concealed weapon, discharge of a firearm in or at a building and felony firearms. She was jailed in lieu of $50,000 bond. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20mph for it to start. She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off. I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing. A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions... -<>- While attending an open house, my wife was taken with the home's modern features, especially the central vacuum system installed within the walls. But she had a practical question: "What do you do when all the walls fill up?" -<>- I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat, a trailer and a motor from me. "Thanks," he said as he loaded them up. "I'm planning to resell them." Good luck, I thought. I had been trying to get rid of them for months. But when I ran into him a few weeks later, he'd sold everything. "How did you manage that?" I marveled. "I took out an ad: 'Heavy-duty boat trailer with free boat.' When the buyer came to get it, I asked if he had a motor. He said no. I told him I happened to have one in my garage. Bought that, too." -<>- The day before his wedding, I stopped in to visit my uncle. It was his second marriage and I knew he really wanted to make it work. "Are you nervous about the wedding?" I asked him. "No way," he replied nonchalant. "Cup of cake. Cup of cake." -<>- Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots -- outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess. "I hope I die first, so I don't have to get rid of all this," she sighed. "Look on the bright side," I suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me." Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. Whoever would want all this stuff wouldn't be my type." -<>- "Do you remember first meeting your wife?" "Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if she agreed to marry me, she would begin a new life and I'd never allow her near the gutter again." "Wow, what an incredible story! I hope she appreciates what you did for her." "Not really. Even though she stunk at it, Jill hated to give up bowling." ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: ,---------. ||"""""""|| || || |/-->&<--\| | (._.) | | ( @ ) | | /|`"|\ | //(_\___/_)\\ \\_()___()_// `+---I---+' |\(_)|(_)/| _|j"""""""|j_ | |_______| | |_| |_| hjw >Top Ten Good Things About Being A 57-Year-Old First Time Mother 10. Baby Screaming? Turn down the volume on your hearing aid. 9. Sweet 2-for-1 deal on strained peas. 8. Bottle of Lipitor makes great rattle. 7. Somebody drooled on the sofa? Blame it on baby! 6. Nothing will put your baby to sleep quicker than a bed- time story from AARP newsletter. 5. Don't have to worry about costly college tuition because you'll be dead. 4. Able to calm crying baby with soothing hum of your pace- maker. 3. 57? You're just a kid...provided you're a redwood tree or one of those giant turtles. 2. When child asks where babies come from, you can honestly say you don't remember. 1. People are already saying, "At least you're not 70 like Letterman." [Courtesy of the Late Show With David Letterman] -<>- ___ ___ _____/___\_____ __|___|__ """"("-_-")"""" ( o_o ) ~ /\_)=o~/ _\~-~/_ _ _~ / /\\\///\ ~ / \/|\/ \/\(|_| \__|\\//\ \ ~ / |. .|\_/ __________|//\\/_/___~______\_\_____|_____ _______ |_|) _______ \_____/ \_____/ jro >He/she was so dumb... .she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. .he sent me a fax with a stamp on it. .under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." .she thought a quarterback was a refund. .he thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. .she thought General Motors was in the army. .she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate." .he thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. .she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. .he tripped over a cordless phone. .he told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." .he tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. .she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. .at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put "Sagittarius." .he asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. .she studied for a blood test. .he thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train." .he sold the car for gas money! .when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. .when he went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," he turned around and went home. .when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. .he thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. .if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. .he thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. .she had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front." =============================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Awesome School http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gschool.html Awesome Bridge http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/awesomebridge.html John Scape's Basement http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/basement.html Expensive Hotel Rooms http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ehotels.html Volkner Mobil RV!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rv.html World's Fastest Cars!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fastcars.html Ten Life Tips http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifetips.html -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) Empire State Building Being Built in 1930 He sent us one we have here.... Empire Sate Building http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/empire.html --- ...They were crazy! Thanks PatDeE! A Unique Clock! http://www.poodwaddle.com/Stats/ --- ...Awesome! Thanks! PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Not only can illusionist Darcy make doves appear out of nowhere, he also has an even bigger trick up his sleeve. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO_KyTtJg10&feature=player_embedded This video of the movement of aurora borealis is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsMW7zbzsUs&feature=player_embedded Honey badgers have one of the largest brains comapred to their size. A great evidence of that is how hard it is to keep them in an enclosure when they decide they want to break out. This couple of honey badgers use everything from rocks to mudballs to rakes to escape. It's an amazing video any animal lover should see. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=c36UNSoJenI --- ...Great links! Thanks LouiseA! ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Olympics can inspire American kids to get active. Or it can inspire American kids to sit on the couch and watch the Olympics." -Conan O'Brien "A chef from McDonald's just revealed the recipe to the Big Mac's secret sauce. Even more surprising - he also revealed the McRib's secret meat." -Jimmy Fallon "The NBA will start advertising on player uniforms. The Celtics will be the Boston Market Celtics. Denver, they will be the Chicken McNuggets." -Jimmy Kimmel "Starbucks is planning to close down all the restrooms in its New York locations. Which explains the most popular new Starbucks order: An empty cup." -Jimmy Fallon "If women have excessive belly fat and a muffin-top, it can be fatal. Especially if you mention it to her." -Jay Leno "A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything from the last 12 years. And I'm thinking, 'Wait a minute isn't that every woman?'" -Dave Letterman "Today 7-eleven stores in Singapore debuted a new food dispenser, an instant mashed potato dispenser. This means the Indonesians are pulling ahead of us in the cholesterol race. This is serious. We may have to raise our threat level to defcon bacon." -Craig Ferguson "We are in the worst drought in 56 years. That seems unbelievably negative. Wouldn't that be the best drought?" -Jimmy Kimmel "Farmers in France have started giving their cows two bottles of wine every day, in order to make better beef. Unfortunately, all the cows wind up doing is texting their ex-milkers." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************