He Is RISEN! ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) I Hope You All Had a Great Easter weekend! ...THE FIRST EASTER BUNNY... by Francine M. O'Connor (ASCII Art by joan stark) __ /^\ .' \ / :.\ This is the story of a long-eared rabbit / \ | :: \ who couldn't learn to do the bunny hop. / /. \ / ::: | His ears were floppy, his feet were sloppy, | |::. \ / :::'/ he'd hippity hop, then he'd trip and plop. | / \::. | / :::'/ `--` \' `~~~ ':'/` / ( So this little rabbit developed the habit / 0 _ 0 \ of staying awake when the sun went down. \/ \_/ \/ He'd stay up all night, -== '.' | '.' ==- till the morning light, and /\ '-^-' /\ practice his hopping just outside of town. \ _ _ / .-`-((\o/))-`-. _ / //^\\ \ _ On the first Easter morn, ."o".( , .:::. , )."o". just before dawn, |o o\\ \:::::/ //o o| He was startled by a bright \ \\ |:::::| // / and blinding light. \ \\__/:::::\__// / And Jesus was there in the \ .:.\ `':::'` /.:. / shimmering glare, \':: |_ _| ::'/ smiling at that funny bunny's plight. jgs `---` `"""""` `---` Don't worry, little lad, and don't be so sad, .-"-. for humankind will celebrate this special day. .'=^=^='. You must bring the word to every beast and bird /=^=^=^=^=\ that I have risen and am in the world to stay. :^= HAPPY =^; |^ EASTER! ^| You should've seen that cottontail hop away, :^=^=^=^=^=^: feeling mighty proud to be the chosen one. \=^=^=^=^=/ Though this story is quite old, it can now be retold `.=^=^=.' to make little children smile on Easter morn. `~~~` ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I am ecstatic thinking of our Lord! HE IS RISEN!! . | . \ ' / '-. | .-' --= --|-- =-- _. _|_ | _|_ ._ ' _|__|__|_ ' ____/HEISRISEN\_____ How Great and Glorious! How Wonderful and Terrific!! Thank God Almighty For Raising Jesus From The Grave! What God Did For Us Through Christ Jesus Our Risen Lord And Savior is absolutely awesome!! Praise God! And Thank Our Lord Jesus Christ for giving His Life for us! Totally amazing and beautiful! -<>- .0. / \ ; \_/ ; | | | | | | _______; ;_______ `======='\ /`=======` \ / _ | | _ _( \____|=|____/ )_ Hip Hip Hurray! ( .---. .---. ) `-' / \ '-' / \ ; ; | .---.|__, jgs : / :--' .--\ \ | `" `"".-' < =""` `"== `""""""` =""` `"""===="""` =""` `""==="""` I have tremendous news! We have a new Shangrala Angel! That's Right! Kenneth Davis from Richmond Texas gave us a donation to keep Shangrala Alive! He stepped up to the plate to help out during our low economic times and became our 2nd Angel this year! So very awesome! Like I was telling Paul, it seems our traffic to the website has increased almost double along with it's maintenance costs. Unfortunately, the revenue from it has not increased. Instead, it has declined almost a third with it struggling each month to come close to what it was generating last year during the same time period. I am very pleased more people are visiting the site but it means now more then ever we need people to step up to the plate like our friends Kenneth and William did this year. May God Bless Them More than Abundantly for their sweet generosity! .0. / \ ; \_/ ; | | | | | | _______; ;_______ `======='\ /`=======` \ / _ | | _ _( \____|=|____/ )_ ( .---. .---. ) `-' / \ '-' / HUG \ ; ; | .---.|__, jgs : / :--' .--\ \ | `" `"".-' < =""` `"== `""""""` =""` `"""===="""` =""` `""==="""` >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel too? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2009 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR YOUR ABUNDANT GIFT! ================ >-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press: This one comes from our friend Viv. It was a little harder to do than most and took me 3 days before I was able to complete it. I had to look things up and then kept getting sweetly interrupted by my grandchildren. I am happy with the finished page though. See what you think... _ ______ / `'. ,-"` '. / /'-.'. ___ .' \ \/ '.\.' ' | .| .'`\ | /`"'--., / \ , _.--'` \/_ | ,----.| _ `_--;` ``` `\-. | | \ | -- C -- _/ \ \ | \ 0 0 / . | | \| ) | '. _.' |.__/ ; \ `'---` / / __ '. .' | (__) /'-._____,-` \ /---'.-""-.\ '. / ||,- \\ ;---`;-._||-= |\ , ."""-. \ ) `|'.___.' \ ___ \'. / '-. \ /`-`-; / \ ,/ `) \ \| \ `` | | \|| / /'.| )_ / || | | \/ .' \ \ .-'/ ` |` |.-' .-~ ~-~-._ |.'` \ ` '-. \___/,__/ ~` _ `~~-., `-.,_\_)`-.,_\) `~-,___ ~___~,,..-~~/ jgs \___/`\____/'._.' Nanny Animals http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/nannyanimals.html --- ...Cool! Thank You Viv! -<>- >Our Friend PatH Sent us a sweet Reminder :) I checked it to see if it had the same pictures and I am glad I did. The video I had on the page was no longer available so I had to go to UTube to get it for the page again. Hopefully it won't go down again. Check it out here... ,--.,-"";-"-. .-;-/ / / .- `\ .-. ` ( ' ' ` ; `\/ \ \ / \ / (. C . ) | .-. | | _ / (` / | You Have To Be Careful... \ /}| | )(\ | `-> (____.| / ||| / \=====| | |\| | |====| \ _/ ` \__/=====| |` `-'======| \ |=======/ | |=======| | .--, ########\ |/ / jgs |_|__|| ` `--. ,---;-'--'\ `--. `---`-------'-.___,___.---' Identity Theft http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/identitytheft.html --- ...Thank You PatH! This was a great reminder and alert! ============================================================ >-->From The FunnyBone: ._. /_|_\ Trouble on The Highway _.:`___`:-._ ,~'-;(oIo);-'~, `~-( | )=~` | |_ | A car breaks down along the ; ._. ; expressway one day, so the _..-;|\ - /|;-._ driver eases it over onto .-' /_ \\_// _\ '-. the shoulder of the highway. /` ; /__\-'__\; `\ He jumps out of the car, ; \.--| |O O |'-./ ; opens the trunk, and pulls |__ / \ _;O__O___/ \ __| out two men in trench coats. | \ [I_[_]__I] / | \_( ; |O O ; )_/ The men stand behind the car, | | | open up their coats and start | ; | exposing themselves to the | | | oncoming traffic. This ; | | results in one of the worst | | | pile-ups in history. | | ; | | | When questioned by police '-.;____..-' why he put two deviates | || | along the side of the road, |__||__| the man replied, "I broke jgs [__][__] down and was just using my .-'-.||.-'-. emergency flashers!" (___.' '.___) =============================================================== +------------------- Bizarre Lawsuits ---------------------+ A phone-sex operator in Florida won a settlement after she filed for worker's compensation, saying she had suffered repetitive-motion injuries in both hands. The repetitive motion was the result of using her hands to give herself as many as seven orgasms a day while talking to clients. A Canadian man is suing a New York coffee shop after suffer- ing what he calls damage to his manhood. His penis was pinched between the toilet seat and bowl when he reached forward for toilet paper. He is asking for $1 million to compensate for his "dire and permanent injuries." A California grandmother is suing Disneyland after she and her grandchildren witnessed Mickey Mouse taking off his costume backstage. The suit is due to her grandchildren's traumatic experience. Two surfers went to court after one allegedly stole the other's wave. The case was dismissed after court officials found it impossible to put a monetary value on the wave. Lee Williams is suing a tattoo shop for spelling the word "villain" wrong in his tattoo. Neither Williams nor the tattoo artist knew how to spell the word. The tattoo ended up reading "villian." A New York prison inmate is filing a suit for $8 million against the state after he accidentally shot himself with a gun he illegally smuggled into the jail. The inmate says that better security would have prevented him from getting the weapon inside. ============================================================ >-->From The Jokester: .-^-. .'=^=^='. /=^=^=^=^=\ .-~-. :^= HAPPY =^; .'~~*~~'.|^ EASTER! ^| /~~*~~~*~~\^=^=^=^=^=^: :~*~~~*~~~*~;\.-*))`*-,/ |~~~*~~~*~~|/* ((* *'. :~*~~~*~~~*| *)) * *\ \~~*~~~*~~| * ((* * / `.~~*~~.' \ *)) * .' jgs `~~~` '-.((*_.-' >Why the Easter Bunny Brings Eggs 10. Big tax write-off. 9. Who ever heard of Easter Bricks? 8. Consider all of the varieties: scrambled, over easy, hard boiled. 7. He gets a good deal from the local chickens. 6. Secret plan to eliminate human race by cholesterol overdose. 5. Pressure from the Egg Marketing Board. 4. Because if it brought bottle rockets it would be the Independence Bunny. 3. Would you want to hunt for waffles? 2. He thinks guys should get chicks at least once a year. 1. Because the Energizer rabbit got the good job. -<>- _ .-' '-. / \ |,-,-,-,-,| ___ | _)_(_ | (/ \) | _\_/_ /) / \_/ \// |( )\/ ||)_( |/ \ n| | / \ | |_|___| \|/ jgs _/L\_ >Mary’s Eggs Mary Poppins was travelling home but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night. "Certainly madam", he replied courteously. "Is the restaurant open still?" enquired Mary. "Sorry, no", came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?" Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like hmmm cauliflower cheese please", said Mary. "Certainly madam", he replied. "And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of eggs please...poached," Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night. The night passed uneventfully and next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk. "Morning madam...sleep well?" "Yes thank you", Mary replied. "Food to your liking?" "Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs though. They really weren't that nice at all," Mary replied truthfully. "Oh, well perhaps you could care to contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist. "OK I will...thanks!" replied Mary, who then checked out, paused a while, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey. Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written. Here it is... "Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!!!" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Jo Ann :) _ xxxx _ /_;-.__ / _\ _.-;_\ `-._`'`_/'`.-' `\ /` | / /-.( \_._\ \ \`; > |/ / // |// jgs \(\ `` >He led our nation and always has. If you feel your Country had been hi-jacked and need a lift, watch this~ Click on the link below. “HOW GREAT THOU ART” http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/UltimateFreedom.htm --- ...Awesome! Thank You Jo Ann! -<>- I find it amazing that this photo, taken so many years ago, actually still exists!? And now, someone has put it online for all of us to see. This INCREDIBLE picture was taken in 1918. It is 18,000 men preparing for war in a training camp at Camp Dodge , in Iowa . EIGHTEEN THOUSAND MEN!!!!! What a priceless gift from our grandfathers! Visit our page on this here: WWI Human Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/humanart.html --- ...Thank You Jo Ann for this Sweet Reminder! -<>- .-. _\...._ .-"` `"-. |` ._ _. `| | \ `"""""""` / | \ | | / ; | / \ | ; | | _ _ | | | | / | | \ | | _\/ \0| |0/ \/_ / \ .-----. / \ | /_.-\ /-._\ | \|/ '--;' \|/ | / \ | | `\'.___\ | ; \ | ; \ \'-\ / If Tomorrow Never Comes... \ '--' / \ / jgs ____\_ _/____ '._ \ / _.' '-, ^ ,-' / ___ \ / --- \ If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray to the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute or two, I'd stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming, you would KNOW I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can just let this one slip away? For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right? There will always be another day to say our "I love you's", And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do's?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope you never forget. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get, to hold your loved one tight... So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day.... That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss, because you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be a last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them, and that you'll always hold them dear. Take time to say "I'm sorry," "please forgive me," "thank you" or "it's okay," And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. -<>- (`'`'`'`') | | | | (|-()()-|) | (__) | | | |______| /._/\/\_.\ / , /\ \ Your moment ; / \\|| __\ ; .-""-. |-| './ \/|-| .' \ \ | | | / / / |-()() '\___|____/` ; | | ()| |--LI--| | `"` | | | | | | | | | | | ; (_} ; | | | '., __.' | | | / /| | | | | jgs / / | | |__|___| (__) (__) .----'=||='----. `""""`" "`""""` Today is the day things will start to go right. Now is the moment when life can begin to be the best that you can imagine. The time has now arrived for you to make real, substantial and lasting progress. For you are, without a doubt, ready, willing and able. The past is no longer in a position to hold you back. This is a new day, and every disappointment is already far behind you. Ahead, there are possibilities too numerous to even count. Look closely, with your heart, and the best of those possibilities will come shining through. There is no reason to hold yourself back any longer. This is your moment to shine, this is your day to live with fullness, with richness, with joy and with love. This very moment, all of life surrounds you, supports you, encourages you and pulls you toward the best you can be. Dive in to the golden opportunity that is now, and know how it feels to be fully alive. -- Author Unknown --- ...Sweet Ones! Thanks Jo Ann! -<>- _.---._ _.-{_O___O_} _.---._ }_.'` `'. ,_.-(_O___O_) ( (`-.___.-`) ) )_.'_ _'. '.`"-----"`.' ( (_`---`_) ) `'-----'` '._`"""`_.' `"""`_.---._ _.---,_ ,__.-(_a___a_) jgs _.-(_o___o_) }_.'_ _'. }_.'_ _'. ( ( `.___.` ) ) ( (_`---`_) ) '.`"-'''-"`.' '._`````_.' `'-----'` `"""` >Internet Friends Maybe you will never look me right in the eye... Maybe you can't ever wipe my tears when I cry. Maybe we can't share some tea and honey...so sweet, or walk together down a path... or up the street. But we can still be good friends because, you see, we met on the internet, you and me. And when you have a "cyber" friend it matters not... how you look, what you wear, or what you've got. I don't care if your last name is Smith or Jones, or if your size is perfect, plump, or skin and bones. You're there for me, you've been a pal through thick and thin... You shared my glad times... and in my sad times - you made me grin. So I have sent this page to you, dear friend so fine... to tell you I'm SO GLAD you're a pal of mine. And here's a hug, though not with arms, for that can't be... But it's a hug straight from my heart... to YOU, from me! --- ...Awww, thank you! -<>- _.-----. ;.___..-'| \ | \ _;__ _;-'_``__.-;_ `-(_/-/-\ ( `| Thoughts! __ _/6/\6/ \ / (_)`` ___ ;'-' \. , `, | '.\__.'| | | '.`-` / | /""-'.-;_.-'| jgs \_.-';-'.___/ \ A successful dieter is one who doesn't let good food go to waist. Years ago debtors used to be thrown into prison. Now they are given credit cards. You know you are getting old if you extend the boundaries of middle age. Among the more common do-it-yourself projects is making a fool of yourself. The trouble with trying to drown your troubles is that they usually survive. Money may not go as far as it used to, but what it lacks in endurance it makes up for in speed. --- ...TeeHee! Thanks Jo Ann!! ================================================== >-->From Our Friend Fig :) You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them. ~Unknown _ .'`_:--"""'. .-. .' ,' .---' \_ / \.-'/ / .' .-/`0\ \ /._| | | / 0\ | '-' | | \ \ |_/_, \_| '. \__/___.' LIFE THOUGHTS \ _:-'`\.-' '. / / , `;-.\__.-;___/| / | \_.-' / | ; / , | | |/`| | ; ,__/ | / '.__ _ \____/----. jgs .-' /`` `-.__/ `.___/ Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ? Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place! When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.' Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !! Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? Wouldn't you know it.... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside? Bumper sticker of the year: 'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier' And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper... The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. Ya just might want to pass this along..... --- ...TeeHee! Good Ones! Thanks Fig! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friends Del, Casey, & MrWu :) _.---.( ..--._) (_.' `''-.'` `'. / / \_) (_| _,.-'""'-,-'""'-.,_ | \ /.--' '--.\ /_) ,__\ ) (_(_( )_)_) ) /__, \ (_, ( o) ( o) / / `--.-` '-' c '-' `-'-` (O\ (O) jgs '-.....__w__.....-' >Arguing With A Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up..' 'For reading a book,' she replies, 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you, says the game warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. --- ...Absolutely! Today's woman is not to be reckoned with! ======================================================== >-->From Our Friend DanY :) __.__ .-' `-. :` . . . `: :.` `.` `.` `.: \ \ / / `\ \ / /' `\ Y /' `|' () --[]-- // jgs \\ `` >Honoring our Military This is worth watching - get ready for a lump in the throat! To anyone wondering if Americans don't care about their country or the soldiers fighting. A teacher at the Middle School in Chanute has a son that flies in the same "squadron" as this soldier. This young man's helicopter collided with another helicopter in Iraq . 4 soldiers died as a result. The loss of these 4 soldiers did not make TV news! The teacher's son, who was not involved in the accident, asked his Mom and Dad to attend his buddy's funeral since he could not come home to attend. This is what happened in this particular young man's hometown of Cameron Missouri last Saturday 02/07/09. Life in a small town is different sometimes. http://www.mycameronnews.com/slideshows/feb09/kelleyfuneral/index.html --- ...How sweet! Thank You DanY! ================================================================= >-->From Our Friend GeorgeR: [Politics] >I Voted "F" MSNBC has a live poll to grade Obama's performance as President, and we need to get some conservative voices showing up in the results! Since few of us watch MSNBC, we need this sent around to our more conservative friends so MSNBC will know what people really think of the President. Otherwise, they will report everyone is happy. VOTE and send it on to your friends. Here is the site: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29493093/ Earlier today, he was rated 58% "A" and 25% "F"!!!!! This has since changed to 33% “A” to 43% “F”, so it’s working! This is a Live Poll. You can only vote once but the more people you get to vote, the better. PLEASE VOTE AND THEN PASS THIS ON!!! VOTE...AND THEN SPREAD THE WORD TO YOUR OTHER CONSERVATIVE FRIENDS, ASSOCIATES, AND FAMILY AND SITES! --- ...Thanks GeorgeR! I voted 'F' too. ============================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] >From CCA: Obama administration to greatly damage charitable giving With all the outrageous big-spending, high-taxing, borrow-busting programs being pushed by the Obama administration, not much has been mentioned about Obama's plans to greatly reduce charitable deductions for "rich" people. According to "The Wall Street Journal," the Obama budget will reduce the charitable deduction for individuals making more than $164,550 and for families making more than $208,850. The reason that this is so outrageous is that people not so well off in America have come to rely on the charities which these so-called "rich people" have contributed to over the years. Obama intends to raise an estimated $318 billion in new taxes over a ten-year period by reducing the value of such deductions as charitable donations (as well as mortgage interest) for those individuals in the highest tax brackets... http://www.cc.org/commentary/obama_administration_greatly_damage_charitable_giving Death tax needs to die In this Obama big-spending, high-taxing socialist era, at least one Republican in the United States House of Representatives is fighting back. The Chairman of the House Values Action Team, Congressman Joe Pitts, R-PA, introduced a bill last week which would permanently repeal the death tax, which liberals call the estate tax. What the Pitts' legislation will accomplish will be to allow family-owned farms and small businesses to remain in the hands of the families which inherit them. Congressman Pitts said regarding his "Permanent Repeal of the Death Tax Act," H.R. : "Death should not be a taxable event. It is family-owned farms and small businesses who suffer the most from this unjust tax because these people pass down the business or the farm in the family. But the death tax can force farms and small businesses to sell assets just to satisfy the tax authorities... http://www.cc.org/blog/death_tax_needs_die Americans support conscience rights for doctors Early last month the Obama Administration moved to rescind a current regulation the protects the conscience rights of America's health care workers. Meaning they would no longer be able to decline to perform health care related "services", (ie: abortion), on the grounds of their conscience and/or religious convictions. So how do Americans feel about this issue? Well, thanks to a survey conducted on behalf of the Christian Medical Association, we now have a poll which answers that question. From the survey: "A sizable 87% of American adults surveyed believe it is important to 'make sure that healthcare professionals in America are not forced to participate in procedures and practices to which they have moral objections.'"... http://www.cc.org/blog/americans_support_conscience_rights_doctors -<>- >From NewsMax: Karl Rove Calls Joe Biden 'Exaggerator,' 'Liar' Rove also said: “These are the kinds of things you can get away with if you are a United States senator or a backbencher in the U.S. House of Representatives. You should not exaggerate and lie like this when you’re the vice president of the United States.” http://tinyurl.com/d7wdk4 -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Police: Stabbing followed gas passing ----------- WACO, Texas - Police in Texas said they have arrested a man who allegedly stabbed another man for passing gas in the hotel room they were sharing. A release from the Waco, Texas, Police Department said Jose Braule Ramirez, 33, and Juan Antonio Salano Castellano, 35, were alone in the Clarion Inn room they were sharing with two other men when Castellano passed gas, "which upset Ramirez to the point he picked up a large knife and threw it at Castellano, striking him in the leg," The Waco Tribune reported Thursday. Ramirez then allegedly walked to Castellano, picked up the knife and stabbed the man in the left side of his chest. Castellano was taken to the Hillcrest Baptist Medical Center. Ramirez was arrested and charged with aggravated assault. -- Boy, 6, sent to traffic school by judge ---------- LOS LUNAS, N.M. - A New Mexico judge ordered a 6-year-old boy to attend traffic school after the boy's mother was ticketed for driving while his seat belt was unbuckled. The mom, who was identified only as Jessica, asked Los Lunas Magistrate Judge John Sanchez to help her teach her son the importance of seat belt wearing when she appeared in court on a citation for failing to restrain her child, KRQE-TV, Albuquerque, reported. She told the judge she has been unable to convince her son to keep his seat belt on while in the car. "He took off his seat belt, I pulled over again and put it on and he took it off right in front of the cop," she said. Sanchez worked with Los Lunas driver's education instructor Avilio Chavez to design a program that the judge called "full seat belt school." "Having somebody that young is an interesting concept," Chavez said. Sanchez said future offenders who appear before him for failing to restrain their children may be sent to the same class with their kids. "We just want to make sure everyone's safe," Sanchez said. -- Pole faces jail for stealing toilet paper --------- WARSAW, Poland - Polish police arrested a 26-year-old man for allegedly stealing a toilet paper roll from a Warsaw restaurant, a crime that could cost him 10 years in jail. The man, identified only as Edvin L., is accused of steal- ing the paper roll worth 66 cents but, in the process, breaking the box holding the roll, bringing the total damage $105, the Polish daily Dziennik said. Police were called by a restaurant manager who spotted the man hiding something under his jacket. The daily said the man's theft was published on the Warsaw police Web site as one of their successful actions since January. A woman in Warsaw police headquarters told the newspaper it was a serious crime. -- Coach pulled after snake killing ------------- PALM HARBOR, Fla. - A Florida high school baseball coach has been relieved of his duties while authorities investigate allegations of a snake-killing ritual. Palm Harbor University High School second baseman Zach Sobel said players got the idea to kill a snake after coach Jeremy Albrecht attributed recent loses to the team being "snake-bitten," the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Thursday. "We were on a losing streak and coach said we were snake-bitten," Sobel said. "So we just kind of went with it." He said the coach wasn't present when players purchased the snake, fed it a rat, killed it with a shovel and buried it beneath the pitcher's mound. "It's unfortunate because our coach could lose his job over this and he shouldn't. We don't deserve this," Sobel told the Times. Pinellas County schools spokeswoman Andrea Zahn said Albrecht has been temporarily relieved of his duties while sheriff's deputies investigate whether he was involved with the incident. Sheriff's Office spokeswoman Cecilia Barreda said to the Times that school resource officers and school officials dug "in and around the field and nothing was found." ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Viv :) I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy and everything crazy going on in my life so I called Lifeline. ___---___ .-- --. ./ \. / o \ / .. o | | ;` '. | | : : | | `._ _.' | | ``--.-' .- |. .| _.'| | : : \ `--'--' / : : \ / : : `\ /' : : `--___ ___--' : : --- _.' `-._ ~~/ \____...-' `\ :_. `----./ / |`` . ._: :_:_:_: |__ ~~~ _.-`._:._:-' /``````---``` \ jgs / | \ ____/ | \___ __.--'' | ```---..__ `\ _| _.' `\ _.-'' `-._ _.' `\ .-' `-._ _.' `\ .' `-._.' `' Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan... I told them I was suicidal.... They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck. --- ..."Giggles" - Thanks Viv! ========================================================= >-->From Laugh&Lift: >The Lift .======. | INRI | | | | | .========' '========. | _ xxxx _ | | /_;-.__ / _\ _.-;_\ | | `-._`'`_/'`.-' | '========.`\ /`========' | | / | |/-.( | |\_._\ | | \ \`;| | > |/| | / // | | |// | | \(\ | | `` | | | | | | | | | \\jgs _ _\\| \// |//_ _ \// _ ^ `^`^ ^`` `^ ^` ``^^` `^^` `^ `^ The Cross: Symbol of Forgiveness (By Joe Diaz) [Edited] Have you ever wondered why the God of the universe didn't decide to save us without having His Son die the gruesome death of crucifixion? Surely, you think, the Lord could do anything, right? Yes, He can do anything--except violate His own character. God is Holy. We know that all people have disobeyed His law and broken fellowship with Him (Rom. 3:23). From the beginning of time, He has required a penalty for disobedience to His commands. In fact, our sin actually deserves payment of our own life (Gen. 2:17; Ezek. 18:4; Rom. 6:23). However, because of our Father's great love, He allowed another life to be offered as a substitutionary payment for our sin-debt. So in the Old Testament, people would sacrifice animals to atone for their wrongs. However, this gracious provision was just a temporary solution. Jesus' death was the final sacrifice for sin. Our loving Savior took that penalty upon Himself, dying in our place--the Son of God willingly became our sin and took the Father's wrath upon Himself. And then He did something that we could not. Three days after dying, He rose from the grave. Jesus conquered death! We now have direct access to the heavenly Father through Jesus' death on the cross. Once we accept His free gift of full forgiveness, our entire sin-debt is cancelled. There's nothing you can do to make yourself right with God. But you can be forgiven of all your sin and receive eternal life by trusting in Christ and His death on your behalf. -<>- >Quick Jokes A Russian track coach, interviewed by a Canadian sportswriter, was asked why the Soviets are now producing such fast runners. "It's really quite simple," the coach replied. "We use real bullets in our starting guns." -------- Client: "What will you charge me for the defense?" Lawyer: "What is the charge?" Client: "Robbing a bank." Lawyer: "Ten thousand if I get you off, but twenty thousand if they find you guilty." Client: "How did you figure that out?" Lawyer: "If you're guilty, you can well afford to pay." -------- The patient complained to his doctor about his neighborhood over-run with dogs. Patient: "They bark all day and all night - they're so noisy that I can't get a wink of sleep." Doctor: "There are special pills for that problem and I'll give you a prescription that will take care of your problem. Come see me in two weeks." When he returned in two weeks the doctor asked, "How are you feeling now?" Patient: "I feel worse than before." Doctor: "I just can't understand it - those pills are guaranteed to work." Patient: "That may be, but I'm up all night chasing the dogs. When I finally catch one, it's almost impossible to make him swallow the pill." SUBSCRIBE INFO Want to receive a Christian inspirational item AND great clean humor in an email to you each day of the week? It's easy and FREE! Read all about Laugh & Lift at http://www.laughandlift.com ============================================================= >-->From ArcaMax: >Engineering Test Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job." Murphy asked, "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland, and me being Irish I should get the job!" The manager said, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the question that you missed." Murphy then asked, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" The manager replied, "Simple, the American put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I'." -<>- .-""". /:' | |:' (o)o) (` _) \ _| `) .-' /`\__\`\ | ,\ | | jgs | || | | >Drowning Woman Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?" -<>- .======. /((((((()\ ((/// \)) ((/`__ __()) /`-{_o}^{o_}'\ \_ _\ _/ \ .__, / \ `-' / /`----'\ jgs.-"""`------'`""-. >Edwin and Cheryl Edwin and Cheryl had married under none too happy circumstances, and their married life had not been anything to brag about either. But when, after they had been lived together for thirty-five years, Edwin went to the local judge to ask for an annulment, the whole of Middleton gasped with amazement. A date for the hearing was set. However, when the time came, the judge demanded to know the grounds on which Edwin based his demand for an annulment. "It's like this, your Honor," answered Edwin. "I've just learned that Cheryl's father never had a license to carry a gun." -<>- .::::, {{{{{;}}}} {{{{/ `}}}}} {}}}}} _ _| {{(`--(./-\.) {| _\ | | \ __ / | '.__/ .'` \ |_ jgs '-__ / `- >Hot Day It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on. All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled. One man, popping his head out of his cubicle said, "Oh, man! Someone's deodorant isn't working." A man in the corner replied, "It can't be me. I'm not wearing any." ================================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: Enclosed with the heartworm pills my friend received from a veterinarian was a sheet of red heart stickers to place on a calendar as a reminder to give her pet the medication. She attached these stickers to her kitchen calendar, marking the first Saturday of every month. When her husband noticed the hearts, he put on a lecherous grin, turned to his wife and asked, "Do you have something special in mind for these days?" -<>- To our shock and horror, my sister-in-law and I realized we had each been married nearly 50 years. "That's a long time," I observed. "A long, long time," she agreed. Then she smiled. "Something just occurred to me." "What's that?" "If I had killed your brother the first time I felt like it, I'd be out of jail by now." -<>- In the Southern Illinois University student newspaper: "Sweet, little old lady wishes to correspond with S.I.U. undergraduate. Prefers six-foot male with brown eyes answering to initials J.D.B. Signed, "His Mother." -<>- My husband, who is an auto mechanic, was on the kidney- transplant list. As you can imagine, it was a tense time for our family. _.-"""-. ." \ `". / .-"---._ \ |_/ _ _ `\_| / | o o | \ \/ 7 \/ \ .___. / '._ _ _.' jgs ) ( But one day, the phone rang and our teenage son answered. It was the hospital with good news. "Dad" he yelled ex- citedly. "Your parts are in!" ============================================================ >-->From TheMouth: >What Not to Say to a Police Officer! ___ .' '. / 0 \ oOoOo | 0 . | ,==||||| \ __/ _|| ||||| '.___.' _.-'^|| ||||| __/_______.-' '==HHHHH _.-'` / """"" .-' / oOoOo `-._ / ,==||||| '-/._|| ||||| / ^|| ||||| / '==HHHHH /________""""" `\ `\ \ `\ / \ `\/ / / jgs /_____ 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee, Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?", you probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" -<>- PennyTalk - Stacking it!! http://www.fincher.org/Misc/Pennies/index.shtml ========================================================= >-->From JokeCentral: -=[ man talking ]=- tweak 8/00 ______________________ \\\\\\// / \ \\\ \ | | \\ - _________________ |.---------------.| || || || HELP NEED GAS || || ~~~~~~~~~~~ || ||_______________|| '-------. .-------' | | _|/ | | ." ". | | /(O)-(O)\ /_)|| / | |_)|| '- | \_)|\ '.___.' / |\/|_ | | \ \_/ / _| '/ |_|\ '.___.' \ ) / \ \_/\__/\__ |==| \ \ /\ /\ `\ | | \ \\// \| | `\ /\ | / | jgs ; || |\____/ | || | CleanLaugh_Fuel Trudge After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas. A passerby told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun. The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger's gas tank. Wearily I walked back to the station. "You know," the attendant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here." -<>- Alice's cake Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies' group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake." So, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom, a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and covered it with icing. The finished product looked beautiful, so she rushed it to the church. Alice then gave her daughter some money and instructions to be at the sale the minute it opened and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had already been sold. Alice was beside herself. A couple of days later Alice was invited to a friend's home where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon. After the game a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off, the cake in question was presented for dessert. Alice saw the cake, she started to get off her chair to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other ladies said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess say, "Thank you, I baked it myself." ============================================================= >-->Fun Places To Net Visit :) >Wesley Found Us Some Hot Spots... Check these out if thinking on switching to Firefox Browser: FireFox Addons https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/browse/type:1/cat:all?sort=popular Dual Screen Wallpaper Collection http://www.dualscreenwallpaper.com/ Generate Random Nonsense Posters http://www.typogenerator.net/ Free Security Utilities http://tinyurl.com/djebzq See the Canadian Rockies by Rail https://everylearner.com/core/offers/signup/47 Zip Code Finder (Demographics ) http://www.zipskinny.com/ Convert Word, Excel and PowerPoint docs to PDF http://www.commerce.uct.ac.za/Services/PDF%20Generator/ Recommendation Engine http://www.tastekid.com/ eBooks for your iPhone http://www.textonphone.com/ Free E-Book Creation http://www.myebook.com/ Free Online Image Gallery Creator http://www.mylivegallery.com/ Peripheral Vision http://www.unitzeroone.com/papervision/paperPlanet/Main.html --- ...Great! Thank You Wesley! -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Easter Bunny Rap Via Scott http://www.dougpatton.com/custom/flash/rapeasterbunny.swf Snow Rollers Via Virginia http://www.wrh.noaa.gov:80/otx/photo_gallery/snow_rollers.php Easter Egg Via ibgerandibmar http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/VGeasteregg2.htm Animated Images http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html Doggie Zone http://puppywar.com/ Kitty Korner http://www.kittykitty.com/ Water Power http://www.buffaloschips.com/71008.htm Way Cool Toy http://www.buffaloschips.com/71009.htm Wekker Problem http://www.buffaloschips.com/71010.htm Welcome Home http://www.buffaloschips.com/71601.htm Westfall Horse Video http://www.buffaloschips.com/71602.htm Posedis http://www.buffaloschips.com/71002.htm Wake Up http://www.buffaloschips.com/71003.htm Wal-Mart Baby http://www.buffaloschips.com/71004.htm WatDoeJeNou http://www.buffaloschips.com/71005.htm Waterbed http://www.buffaloschips.com/71006.htm Water Leak Problem http://www.buffaloschips.com/71007.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com =============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "And there was a big rally on Wall Street yesterday after Citigroup reported a profit for the first two months of the year. That just goes to show you what determination, hard work, and 45 billion of our bailout dollars can do." --Jay Leno "Scientists in Japan have developed an umbrella that has Internet access and allows users to search the Internet while they walk. An electronic device that you carry in a rain storm. What could possibly go wrong?" -Conan O'Brien "More Americans can name the three stooges than the three branches of government. Well, that's because the three stooges are more likely to get something done." -David Letterman "First Lady Michelle Obama is a huge hit in England. There was a bit of controversy when she put her hand on the Queen's back. The Queen took it as a gesture of friendship, but I think Michelle went a little too far when she tried to feed Camilla a carrot." --Jay Leno "I was in Las Vegas this past weekend. I saw a Drew Carey game there. You know you've made it when there's a game named after you. It's called 'The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.'" -Craig Ferguson "According to a new study, eating ice cream increases a woman's chance of getting pregnant. Actually, eating ice cream increases a woman's chances of looking pregnant." -Conan O'Brien "Art is making something out of nothing and selling it." - Frank Zappa "History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon." - Napoleon Bonaparte "Anything too stupid to be said is sung." - Voltaire My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil --Paul Getty ---> Visit my CyberHome - ALWAYS OPEN HOOUSE :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/index.html Shangrala ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food andd DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR Send a BLANK email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************