Here's Your Sign And More ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
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===========================
>-->Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
Checking out animated pictures for our Gallery, I came across
some pretty cool Giant Panda Bear Pictures. But what really blew
me away was how small and darling the newborn panda is! I just
had to do up a picture page for this one! Hope you enjoy it!
##
###----##
### \
/ ##__
/ ## # --#
: __/ -# :
,' _\ > :
#### :' #########:
########## | ###: ~MAMA~
###################### :
####################### :
######################...,'
:
;
;
;
,;
;##########
;###########
,,,,,,,,,;###########
Giant Panda Bear
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pandabear.html
-<>-
AND Be Sure To Visit and Share our New For This Month FRIEND Pages:
Best Friends
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/bestfriends.html
What Friends Are For
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/whatfriends.html
AND Our Other Friend Pages:
Give them time to load and if the Lake graphics do not show up
correctly please refresh your browser. Turn up the sound:
Friends Together:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/together.html
It Takes Two:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/poems/two.html
Here's Your Frog!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/frog.html
Friendship Greetings!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greetings.html
Love Test
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html
========================================
>-->From FunnyBone: Isn't This Cuckoo Village?
_
,/_\,
A man had just left home and was heading down ,/_/ \_\,
the highway. He saw a sign which said "Cuckoo /_/ ___ \_\
Village, Exit 5". When he arrived at Exit 5, /_/ |(V)| \_\
he took it for he was anxious to see what this | .-. |
was all about. It wasn't long after leaving the | / / \ |
main highway, he saw a sign that said "Cuckoo | \ \ / |
Village" and he pulled into the first driveway | '-' |
that he saw. '--,-,--'
| |
There in front of him, was the most beautiful building | |
he had ever seen. It was made of logs and was most | |
unusual. It had many windows and doors, all of which /\|
had shutters on them. He decided he had to go in and \/|
look around. He knocked on the first door he /\
encountered and found himself face to face with a \/
beautiful woman named Heidi. He asked if she minded
him coming in and having a look around.
Heidi replied, "Not at all, please come in. My name is Heidi and I am
the owner of this place. Feel free to roam around and if you have any
questions, please ask me."
The inside of the building was as beautiful as the outside. It was
elaborately decorated with many ornaments, stuffed animals and many
clocks. After a while, the man came back to Heidi and said "I'm truly
impressed. I would like to have one. How do I go about getting one of
these."
Heidi said, "Which one?" The man replied, "Doesn't really matter,
just one something like this." Heidi (a bit confused), "Do you mean
one of our cuckoo clocks?"
Man (now a bit confused himself), "I mean a cuckoo house. Isn't this
a cuckoo village."
Heidi, "Yes, this is the cuckoo village! We sell cuckoo clocks."
Man, "Darn. My wife just kicked me out of the house....said I was a
cuckoo. I'm looking for a place to live."
======================================================================
+------------------ Bizarre Presidential ------------------+
FACTS
Ronald Reagan, the 40th U.S. president, saved 77 people
from drowning as a lifeguard in his youth at a riverside
beach near Dixon, Illinois.
20th president of the United States James Garfield could
write Greek with one hand while writing Latin with the
other.
Abe Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States,
carried letters, bills, and notes in his notorious black,
top-hat.
First U.S. president George Washington rejected a movement
among army officers to make him king of the United States.
William Taft, 27th president of the United States, weighed
more than 300 pounds and had a special oversized bathtub
installed in the White House.
The 38th president of the United States, Gerald Ford turned
down offers to play professional football for the Green Bay
Packers and the Detroit Lions.
=============================================================
>-->Here's Your Sign...
_.-._ ___|/|
' |_| ` __|___|/
'.___.' |___| | /
.-( v )-. | /
( _ `-' _ ) | /
____\_('=')_/+------+_|/
| | | |Siesta|
`--'--' +------+ kOs
\_|_/
>Artist: Bill Engvall Song: Here's Your Sign Christmas
Lyrics :
I took my son to the mall the other day to see Santa Claus.
______
_.' _..._\
_/ .'_..._ '
.' / /.'==..=\:
'._\ \\ O _O<' HoHoHo
_/_/ ._'._).'_
/ \_/ .=== \ \
\ | / |
\ \ \ | |/
'-._ | . /
'.\ / wtx
\__\
The woman in line behind me says "hey is that Santa Claus up there"?
I said "no ma'm, it's a Kenny Rodgers stunt double"
Here's your sign
The other day I bought a wreath to go on our front door
as I was walking out the store a man stopped me and said
"hey, are you going to hang that on your door"?
I said "no sir, it's a Christmas toilet seat cover, got the idea from
Martha Stewart"
(Chorus)
Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your stupid sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
Oh! Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your stupid sign
you lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
.|,
-*-
'/'\`
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I hung those little Christmas lights on my house, you know the
kind that blink on and off. My neighbour comes over and says
"Bill how do you get those to blink on and off like that"?
I said "I've got my son inside plugging and unplugging it, plugging and
unplugging it"
Here's your sign
|L
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I took my family to buy a Christmas tree the other night
When we walked onto the lot this guy walked up to me and says
"hey, y'all here to buy a Christmas tree?"
I said, "no sir, my son needs to go to the bathroom and these trees
looked really inviting"
(Chorus)
Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your stupid sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
Oh! Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your stupid sign
you lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your stupid sign
have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time
^ _ ^
| { \ 0 / }
---*--- { /|\ }
|\ { /|||\ }
| /---------------\ {/ ||| \}
| \ / \ |||||
| \ \ / _ \ ||||||| *^* o
| \ \ \ / O| _ \ / \ |0| (=)
| /| - / \ | ) |\ ## /|\ 0
| \ \ \ | (\ | |\/| | (|\ /|||\ ===
\ \ ___ || | | | | __|| \[=]/ /o\
\ /o=/| || | | | /\___ | | || ||| =O=
|---|/ / |\| | | \ |\| o/ \ ||| |||
|---|| |___\ | | || | | |__\ / \ |||
| |
The other night my family and I were walking through the neighbourhood
looking at all the Christmas decorations when we came across this house
that had a manger scene now there was this whole group of people
looking at it when I overheard this one guy say
"hey, are those the Three Wise Men"?
I said "no sir that's ZZ Top doing a farming concert
(Chorus)
Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your stupid sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
Oh! Here's your sign, Here's your sign, Here's your stupid sign
you lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
Here's your sign, Here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
(have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time)
And finally my wife and I were in a grocery store the other day
and I heard a woman ask the clerk
"do you know what time Midnight Mass starts on Christmas Eve"?
And in the holiday spririt I walked over and said
"Here's your sign"
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
>From
http://www.anysonglyrics.com/lyrics/b/Bill-Engvall/Heres-Your-Sign-Christmas-Lyrics.htm
===================================================================
>-->Here an Idiot, There an idiot!
_________ __
/ ______ _____ /
/ / / __ __/ __
/ / ---- /__ /
/ / ---- ______ /
/
/
:F_P:
>See how well you fare: Take The Idiot Test
Number your paper from 1-10 and Write your answers to these...
1: Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
2: Can a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
3: Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
4: Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
5: A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern
exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear?
6: If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
7: A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half
hour. How long would the pills last?
8: A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
9: How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
10: How many two cents stamps are there in a dozen?
ANSWERS to this quiz will be given later on in this email.
==================================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
Q: "Do you know where the name WD-40® originated??
A: The WD stands for 'Water Displacement.' and the 40 is
because it was the 40th effort to develop the product that was
successful!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
-<>-
_ /\.'|_
_.-| |\ | / |_
/ \ _>-"""-._.'|_
>`-.' `./ \
/`./ #1 \-<
`-| |_/
/_| FIRST |_\
) | | |
-<| PLACE! |\/
`'_\ /`<
|_/`. .'\_/
\_/ >-.._..-'\_|
`-`_| \_\|_/
| `' | |
| O | |
| N | |
| E | |
| | |
| /\ | |
| /| \ |\ |
|/ |/ \| \|
VK
>Number One Idiot of 2006 (ok, it’s oldie but goodie)
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would
be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote "this. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank
of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems
the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the
.
/ \
/ . \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / \ \ Deer Crossing sign on our road.
/ / t \ \
/ /._`\ \ \
/ / \ `--._ \ \
/ / .==.___ ) \ \
/ / \ `.\ \ \
/ / ` \\ \ \
/ `-----------------' \
`-----------------------'
jrei
The reason:
"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.
A sign wouldn't do this fellow any good!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
He was a Chef?
Yep....From Kansas City!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, she was leaving
the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This
is fun. We should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system
would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
drivers’ side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it’s open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
---
...Yep - these are our voters! No wonder we pray for our government and
say over and over again - GOD BLESS AMERICA! We need it!
-<>-
Please feel free to forward "Scream" to someone you know.
To subscribe, send a blank
mailto:scream_of_the_crop-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
- Suggest to your friends that they visit
http://www.screamofthecrop.com
====================================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From Dr.Oz Healthy Tips:
Dr. Oz's Recommendations for Healthy Living...
Wellness doesn't just happen. Only conscious choices can give you a
vibrant, energy-filled existence. Like any other challenge in life,
treat positive lifestyle changes as an opportunity to mature and grow.
Plus, being healthy can be fun!
DIET:
Avoid refined, processed foods (basically, anything with white flour).
Avoid toxic fats, i.e., foods that are fried or made with hydrogenated
oils.
Eat foods rich in phytonutrients, e.g., berries, cruciferous vegetables
and soybeans.
FITNESS:
Keep a set of medium-weight dumbbells by your bed. Do a couple of reps
when you wake up and at night before bed.
Put a stationary bike in front of your TV and only watch while pedaling.
Develop a stretching routine for increased flexibility. For instance,
try simple yoga poses.
From Discovery Health:
http://health.discovery.com/fansites/droz/tips.html
-<>-
>From LifeScript:
Say Farewell to Flabby Spots
Ask any woman to name her figure flaws and she’ll likely give you a long
list that goes from butt to belly to biceps. As an experienced personal
trainer and internationally known fitness model, Minna Lessig has a
surefire fat-fighting formula for tank-top arms, bikini bellies and boy
shorts-worthy bottoms. In this LifeScript exclusive, she shares how to
tighten and tone your body in only 30 minutes a day…
click here to read more
http://www.lifescript.com/HA/35926_4238409_7821_0.htm
-<>-
>From CCA:
Christian Coalition of America Commends the NFL For Allowing Church
Super Bowl Parties to Continue with Large-screen TV Showings.
Here is an excerpt from the NFL new policy regarding churches being able
to show the Super Bowl in their facilities: "The National Football
League this week announced that it will not object to live showings of
future Super Bowls by religious organizations when such showings are
free and on premises used by the religious organization on a routine and
customary basis."
http://www.christian-coalition.net/
http://www.cc.org/
-<>-
>From AFA: Procter & Gamble Top Pro-Homosexual Sponsor on Television
Read all about this here:
http://www.afa.net/Petitions/Issuedetail.asp?id=308
Send an email to Procter & Gamble Chairman Alan Lafley, asking him to
stop the company's sponsorship of overtly pro-homosexual television
programs.
Send an Email Here:
https://secure.afa.net/afa/activism/TakeAction.asp?id=308
Please forward this to family and friends
Thank you for caring enough to get involved.
Sincerely,
Don
Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman American Family Association
-<>-
>From CoffeeBreak:
Tolls gone, traffic increases
Scottish traffic managers have discovered that removing the
tolls on a busy highway bridge has had the predicted
effect -- traffic jams are much worse. The group
Trafficmaster monitored the Forth Road Bridge near Edinburgh
for five days before and five days after northbound tolls
were abolished Feb. 11, The Scotsman reported. The group
found that the morning rush hour -- which averaged 61
minutes while tolls were in place -- lengthened to 91 minutes
once the bridge was free. Three of the five days after
abolition were school holidays, when traffic in Scotland
tends to be light. Experts warned the government about the
effect while the decision was being made. Finance Secretary
John Swinney advocated abolition, arguing that it would
stimulate the economy. The results suggest that drivers
respond to economic incentives.
_ __<;
> 7 ) h __ _.._ __
~;7 / a / / \__/ \ \ pubs open 24hrs
/> / _/ <_ > / \ < _>
~ 7 7~\_ <_\ \__/ /_> neeps,tatties an'haggis
7 \ <_\_||_/_>
/_ _ _ | `-||-'
cjr
Gaels outraged by 'Gallic hotheads' memo
Residents of the Scottish island of Lewis are outraged by a
British Museum memo suggesting that "Gallic hotheads" might
try to abduct the Lewis chessmen. Not only does the memo
suggest that the island is full of dangerous hotheads, the
writer was also apparently unable to distinguish
Gaelic-speaking Scots from the Gallic French. The memo was
written in 2000 when the Uig Community Museum in Stornoway
sought a temporary loan of the Lewis chessmen -- among the
most spectacular surviving Norse artifacts -- for an
exhibit, The Scotsman reported. The document came to light
through a Freedom of Information request. "I thought they
were supposed to be scholars and know the difference
between Gaels and the French," said Annie MacDonald, a
member of the Lewis council. "I'm insulted by the
suggestion that they think we are hotheads here. What did
they think was going to happen to them?" The Lewis
chessmen were apparently lost at sea while being shipped
to Ireland from Norway in the 12th century, and then
discovered on a Lewis beach 700 years later. Most of the
93 pieces are in the British Museum. Ten are in Edinburgh,
which Scottish nationalists think is the proper home for
the whole set.
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
_
/X \
_------_
/ \
| |
| |
| __ __)
| / \/ \ Not something I'd be caught doing!
/\/\ (o )o )
/c \__/ --. I'd DRIVE Faster!
\_ _-------'
| / \
| | '\_______)
| \_____)
|_____ |
- Police seek nude drive-through customer ----------
LAKE MARY, Fla. - Authorities in Lake Mary, Fla., are
searching for a man who allegedly drove his red Corvette
through a Dunkin' Donuts drive-through while nude below
the waist. Employees at the emporium said the man visited
the location without his pants three times Thursday and
once Friday, ordering coffee on each occasion, the Orlando
(Fla.) Sentinel reported Tuesday. The employees did not
get the man's name or license plate number, but they
described him as a bald, white male driving a red Corvette.
They said he only ordered coffee on each occasion and did
not wait to collect his change, which amounted to 40 cents
per visit. Police Detective Matt Schaefer said the matter
is under investigation.
/| ,
,/// /|
// // ,///
// // // //
// // || ||
|| || // //
|| || // //
|| || // //
|| || || ||
\\,\|,|\_//
\\)\)\\|/
)-."" .-(
//^\` `/^\\
// | | \\
,/_| 0| _ | 0|_\,
/` `"=.v.="` `\ What a Buffoon!
/` _."{_,_}"._ `\
jgs `/` ` \ ||| / ` `\`
`",_ \\=^~^=// _,"`
"=,\'-=-'/,="
'---'
- Man parked stolen car at Sheriff's Office ---------
ANDERSON, S.C. - Anderson County, S.C., authorities said
a man was arrested after he parked a stolen convertible
outside the County Sheriff's Office. Sheriff's spokeswoman
Susann Griffin said Charles Noah Chambers came into the
building to demand the return of $1,991 that was seized
from him in June following his arrest on methamphetamine
trafficking charges, the Anderson (S.C.) Independent Mail
reported Thursday. Griffin said she noticed Chambers
driving away in a 1996 Saab after his demands were reject-
ed. She said the vehicle was reported stolen from Cartee's
Used Cars between 5 p.m. Monday and 11:30 a.m. Tuesday.
Sheriff's Lt. W. F. Looper said the suspect put "a screw-
driver into the ignition switch" when deputies caught up
to the car and told him to turn off the engine. Chambers
and a woman who was riding in the car with him were taken
into custody. Chambers was charged with possessing/
receiving stolen goods, driving with a suspended license
and a vehicle tag violation.
- Mounties pants go missing in break-in -----------
MAPLE RIDGE, British Columbia - The Royal Canadian Mounted
Police in British Columbia lost several pairs of pants in
a burglary of a dry cleaning store, the RCMP said. The
burglary happened at 5:15 a.m. Monday in Maple Ridge, some
30 miles east of Vancouver at Anthony's Fine Cleaners,
RCMP Cpl. Ryan Schlecker said in a statement. The store
owner reported a small amount of cash and an Air Canada
flight attendant's jacket also stolen, but the police
pants weren't noticed missing until the officer who owned
them came to claim them, the Maple Ridge News reported.
Schlecker's statement said there were concerns the pants
with a distinctive yellow strip down each leg could be
used by someone impersonating a police officer, the
Vancouver Sun reported. "We're alerting the public to this
theft so they can be aware," the statement said. "If any
member of the general public is not certain that you are
dealing with a police officer, you have the right to see
supporting identification, which all police officers
carry."
=============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
!
)>==O )>==O \ O )>===O
\/ )>==O \/ ___ \| :======== |
| \/ | / \/| \/|
| | | | ./|| |
/ \ |\ / \ \___/ /\ / \
ejm97 / \ | \ \ \ / \ \ \
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Maybe this is why they don't teach music in high school
any more. Following are actual answers from students on
music tests...
- The principal singer of nineteenth centurry opera was
called pre-Madonna.
- Gregorian chant has no music, just singerrs singing the
same lines.
- Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony..
- All female parts were sung by castrati. WWe don't know ex-
actly what they sounded like because there are no known
descendants.
- Young scholars have expressed their raptuure for the Bronze
Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica,
Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in
Blue.
- Music sung by two people at the same timee is called a
duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.
- A virtuoso is a musician with real high mmorals.
- Contralto is a low sort of music that onlly ladies sing.
- Probably the most marvelous fugue was thee one between the
Hatfields and the McCoys.
- I know what a sextet is but I'd rather noot say.
- Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical com-
positions and had a large number of children. In between he
practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.
- Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano
concerti.
-<>-
While my brother was stationed overseas, his wife wrote to
him daily. For an added touch, she'd always scribble little
abbreviated notes on the outside of the envelope.
One day my brother received a letter with the familiar "SWL"
(sealed with love) message on the envelope. He noticed that
the letter was sealed with tape and chuckled when he read
this notation written by a postal employee: "Love didn't
stick--resealed in Seattle."
==========================================================
>-->From InspiredBuffalo:
..... .....
.:' ''::::::'' ':.
.:' ':.
:' bitter ':
: :
:. L .:
': :'
: I : By James Mitchelhill
:.sour sour.:
': E :'
:. .:
': S :'
:.salt salt.:
':. .:'
':. .:'
':. sweet.:'
':. .:'
''''
Electronic Lies by Tim Hall
If Snopes.com gave frequent flyer miles, I'd have
enough points to take a vacation. For those who
aren't familiar with Snopes, it's a site on the
Internet that attempts to set records straight. At
any given moment there are dozens of hoaxes and
lies shooting through the ethernet. Sometimes it's
easy to spot a lie, but at other times we just
don't know. Snopes investigates the most common
stories and reports their findings to any who are
interested.
I visited there again yesterday. The e-mail I
received was alarming. It spoke of the dangers
posed by a certain world view, a view that is
seemingly incompatible with the American way of
life. As the message concluded, it connected a
high profile political candidate with those very
views. How could we even think about voting for
this person if they hold views as dangerous as
this?!
Snopes debunked the claims. A lengthy explanation
stated the candidate's actual views, and a video
was included in which the candidate gave a
detailed response to the charges. If a person is
allowed to speak for himself, then this man
answered the accusations I had read earlier.
I know the person who sent the e-mail with these
charges. You'd be hard pressed to find a more
dedicated Christian. But this person erred in
forwarding the e-mail without checking the facts.
"He who speaks truth declares righteousness,"
wrote the wise man, "but a false witness, deceit"
(Proverbs 12:17, NKJV). According to scripture,
it's a serious matter to spread erroneous views,
whether we do it knowingly or in ignorance. When
we have the ability to know the facts, we should
go to great lengths to check them out. If we don't
have that ability, we should remain silent.
The principle continues today: "Therefore putting
away lying, 'Let each of you speak truth with his
neighbor,' for we are members of one another"
(Ephesians 4:25). Paul doesn't limit truth-telling
to messages of a religious nature. Any message we
share with others ought to be based on truth.
Now for the rest of the story: What should I do
once I know a message is wrong? I'm not excited
about the candidate who was slandered. Why not
just keep quiet and let others think the worst
about him? In that way, a better candidate might
be elected. But can God's people allow error to go
unchallenged? How does that fit with this
admonition: "Whoever loves instruction loves
knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid"
(Proverbs 12:1). Should I allow my brethren to
continue forwarding misleading information?
Truth is truth, whether it's what we want to hear
or not. As people of God, we have an obligation to
communicate only what we know to be true. And when
error comes our way, let us have the courage and
love to correct it.
---
.-"""""""-.
.' __ \_
/ / \/ \
| \_0/\_0/______
|:. .' oo`\
|:. / \
|' ; | |
|:.. . \_______ | Rebirth Of The Eagle?
|::.|' , \,_____\ /
|:::.; ' | . '| )_/
|::; | | ; ; | |
/::::.|-| |_|-|, \
/'-=-'` '-' '--'\
jgs/ \
...Sometimes people get caught up in the email and just want
to alert their friends and family to it or if it is a heartwarming
one, want to share it with their Christian friends. Stories that are
inspirational are fine for this but ones that seem to be relating facts
that are down right lies only make Christians look bad for forwarding
them. I've seen Atheists blogs that comment on how stupid Christians
are for not looking something up on snopes before sending it out.
A prime example of this is the Eagle story. Logically someone would
have to be crazy to believe that an eagle could go 150 days without
food while they have to wait for their feathers to regrow but that
is just one of the 'facts' in this email forward that many Christians
like to have on their website and post to their friends and family.
They call it the Rebirth Of The Eagle and liken their Christian
walk to that of the eagle.
Visit here to see this lie:
http://www.slideshare.net/targetseo/rebirth-of-the-eagle-photo-presentation
That was why I was happy to do up this page...
. ,
'. '. \ \
._ '-.'. `\ \
'-._; .'; `-.'.
`~-.; '. '.
'--,` '.
-='. ;
.--=~~=-, -.; ;
.-=`; `~,_.; /
` ,-`' .-; |
.-~`. .; ;
.;.- .-; ,\
`.' ,=; .-' `~.-._
.'; .'; .' .' '-.
.\ ; ; ,.' _ a',
.'~";-` ; ;"~` `'-=.)
.' .' . _; ;', ;
'-.._`~`.' \ ; ; :
`~' _'\\_ \\_
/=`^^=`""/`)-.
jgs \ = _ = =\
`""` `~-. = ;
The Real Eagle Story here:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagle.html
Eagles are one of God's great creations that He mentions to us in
His word. They are truly awesome!
God tells us to 'mount up with wings like eagles'. Better
understanding the eagle we know now that God wants us to be like
them in our Christian walk. Not to suffer some rebirth lie but He
is saying that He wants us to mount up with grace in flight,
balance in our growth with keen vision and insight like an eagle
as we walk out on His tremendous Word.
-<>-
Links for your enjoyment:
Snow Plow
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011154.htm
Oh No!
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011155.htm
Alarm
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011156.htm
Cool Parrot
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011157.htm
Subscribe send a blank email to:
the-inspired-buffalo-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
===================================================================
>-->OK - - - I got 7 out of 10...
.-=~~~=-.
/ \
| q_q |
/ /_\ \ How well Did You Do?
\ '-' /
.-'-. .--'-._
/_.-/ '-._\
| |
\ /
'-.,___,.'
___||||
jgs \ / | \
'` '--'
Here's The IDIOT TEST ANSWERS!
Detailed results
1: Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
(58.6% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: 12: Every month has at least 28
2: Can a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
(43.5% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: No: He's still living!
3: Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
(39.8% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: No: Dead men aren't allowed to marry!
4: Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
(68.1% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: 70: 30 divided by 1/2 = 60 + 10 = 70
5: A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern
exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear?
(62.6% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: White: If southern exposure on all sides it
must be at the North Pole, so the answer is WHITE (polar bear)!.
6: If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
(55.2% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: 2: You just took 2!
7: A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half
hour. How long would the pills last?
(70.5% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: 1 hour: Take one. Take the second in a
half-hour, the last in a half-hour... so the answer is 1 hour!.
8: A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
(30.8% got this one wrong).
The right answer: 9: 9 are left!.
9: How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
(72.9% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: Zero: Moses wasn't on the ark!
10: How many two cents stamps are there in a dozen?
(31.6% got this one wrong.)
The right answer: 12: A dozen o anything = 12!.
Average grade = 4.7 ( 37197 )
Average grade Female: 4.4 ( 20236 )
Average grade Male: 5.0 ( 16961 )
From http://www.the-jokes.com/tests/tontresu.php?l=en
I guess we all got a bit of Quacker in us ;)
==============================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
>From Our Friend John-Paul:
Radio Lovers
http://www.radiolovers.com/
...Good One - Thanks John-Paul!
-<>-
>From TheMouth:
HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR DATE
http://www.zefrank.com/date_1/navigation.html
THE BEATLES ARE COMING
Experience the birth of Beatlemania through a
daily Beatles Blog from 1964.
http://www.thebeatlesarecoming.com/
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
John w/ Beyond The Sunset
http://heavens-gates.com/gospel/beyondthesunset.html
THE CUCUMBER CURRICULUM
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Mary/CUCUMBERCURRICULUM.HTML
Asteroid Collision
http://science.howstuffworks.com/apophis.htm
How Airport Security Works
http://travel.howstuffworks.com/airport-security.htm
Hiking In China
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/trail.html
Panorama Views
http://www.panoramas.dk/fullscreen2/full22.html
What's In Those Mystery Bags?
http://ekarj.com/mysterybags.htm
Darwin Awards
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/
Einstein The Bird
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/0211612.htm
Exploding Manholes
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/011613.htm
F16 VS Birds
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/022301.htm
To subscribe send a blank email to
lynnlynns-links-subscribe@egroups.com
===============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"The New York Times says that John McCain had a close,
personal relationship with a beautiful, young, female
lobbyist. Do you believe this? Think about it. A senator,
who's a Republican having sex with a woman."
- Jay Leno
"The New York Times is claiming John McCain, who is 71
years old, had an inappropriate relationship with a woman
who is a Washington lobbyist. The good news is there's no
footage."
- Conan O'Brien
"The New York Times said McCain had an affair years ago.
I think it was with Joan of Ark."
- Craig Ferguson
"They do a lot of animal testing in the cosmetics industry,
maybe they should brag about it in their commercials.
'Aquanet hair spray, if it can blind a spider monkey, it
can make your hair look luscious!'" --Vernon Chapman
"I think the most memorable experience I had in France was
visiting the cathedral at Chartres. It's a 400-year-old
cathedral. Beautiful stained glass, and it's a very, very
moving experience, and as I was writing my name on it with
a can of spray paint..." --Steve Martin
"I'm getting older and I'm thinking about having my eggs
frozen. Well, just the egg whites. I'm trying to cut back on
my cholesterol." --Brenda Pontiff
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice
You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806
************************************************************************
-->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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>TO SUBSCRIBE:
Visit Here
This Weeks regular Shangy emails
OR
For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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