Hey Baby, It's Cold Outside... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ , _/ \_ _,--. < , > .-'.' /(/.\ .' .' .""". `/ ` / / / \ /) ; ; ,_.;._ _;-'}/ | | '. )( /' | | /'-._/\_.-' ; ; \_.' \ , \ \ / | _.'/ '. `'-\ /.-/.;,\ '-._ `"""""`_.|`"""`| jgs `"("\/")` |# | \(_/ `-...-' *~* Please Consider Giving To ShangralaFamilyFun.com The cost of the website has gone up dramatically due to the ever increasingly wonderful pages and photos being added each week to entertain you and our fellow Christian families. While the ads on the website do help, I don't want to drag the site down with tons of them to pay for it. I need your help! * * *%%* ,,,,, *%%* *%%%%%* W*W*W*W *%%%%%* *%%%%%%%* {//"\\}*%%%%%%%* *%%%%%%%%%*{{/6.6\}}*%%%%%%%%%* *%%%%%%%%%%%*{{( = )}}*%%%%%%%%%%%* *%%%%%%%%%%%%*}}}}) ({{{{*%%%%%%%%%%%%* *%%%%%%%%%%%* {{{{ }}}} *%%%%%%%%%%%* *%%%%%%%%%* We are each of us *%%%%%%%%%* *%%%%%* angels with only one wing*%%%%%* jgs *%%* And we can only fly *%%* * embracing each other. * -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ *~* WE NEED CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super sizzling hot new page is from our friends Sharon, Brenda and PatDeE. It is absolutely amazing. God sure has given us extremes in nature to show us how awesome He is! Be sure to check this one out here... ________ W = '\ `._ \ \` \ ) \ / , ) | / _| /' / | | / / / / / |' ( | | | | | |\ ( ( (/ /) ' \" " " / _ \ \ ( ,-' _\_) ') _.,-'-/ b'ger . ... ",",,,,,,,'.'_ _.,-' .. . '-,-/_ /_ World's Coldest City! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coldestcity.html --- ...Wow! I can't imagine how hard it would be to live there! Amazing! Thanks my friends! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" -<>- In arithmetic class one day, the teacher says to one little fellow, "If you had a quarter, and you asked your father for another dollar and 50 cents, how much money would you have?" "One quarter," the little boys says. "You don't know your arithmetic," says the teacher, shaking her head. The little boy shakes his head, too. "You don't know my father." -<>- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw >Wisdom from Grandpa - Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries. - Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt, that he forgets his sugar. - Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good. - When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag. - On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past – but never the present. - The bonds of matrimony are a good investment, only when the interest is kept up. - Many girls like to marry a military man – he can cook, sew, and make beds, and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders. - Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age, and start bragging about it. - The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. - Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. - How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? - When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, remember about Algebra. - I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. - One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. - Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. - Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you. - If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old. ========================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 12 is National Ding-a-Ling Day and Poinsettia Day December 13 is Ice Cream Day and Violin Day December 14 is International Monkey Day, National Bouillabaisse Day and Roast Chestnuts Day December 15 is Bill of Rights Day and National Lemon Cupcake Day December 16 is National Chocolate Covered Anything Day December 17 is National Maple Syrup Day December 18 is Bake Cookies Day and National Roast Suckling Pig Day ========================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: . \ | / _\|/_ .' ' ' '. ___ _.|.--.--.|.___.--'___`-. .'.'|| | ||`----'"` ``'` .'.' ||()|()|| .___..-'.' / \ `----'"` / .-. \ (.'.(___).'.) `.__.-.__.' jgs |_| |_| `.`-'.' `"` >Contingency An indigent client who had been injured in an accident went looking for a lawyer to represent him without cost. One lawyer told him that he would take the case on contingency. When the client asked what "contingency" meant, the lawyer replied, "If I don't win your lawsuit, I don't get anything. If I do win your lawsuit, you don't get anything." -<>- >New Boat Busy in the yard one afternoon, my father paused to admire our neighbor's new boat. "Sure is a beauty, Charles," Dad said. Knowing that Charles' wife was conservative when it came to spending money, my father asked, "Was it expensive?" "The boat itself wasn't so bad," Charles replied. "But the extras really hurt." "You mean things like water skis, life jackets and trailer?" my father asked. "No," our neighbor said with a sigh. "I mean the new carpet, the kitchen cabinets and the living-room furniture." -<>- >Vegetarian As the only vegetarian in my family, I often get tired of defending my food choices to other family members. I didn't realize how often the subject is actually discussed until one day around, when I picked up my six-year-old son from school. His class had made chickens using potatoes and paper feathers. He proudly presented his to me, announcing excitedly, "Mom, we finally have the kind of meat even you can eat!" -<>- >Employment Reference At times I was asked to provide references for former employees by companies considering hiring them. On one firm's form was the question: "Was this person a steady worker?" Since the guy was a well-known do-nothing, I entered: "Not just steady, but motionless" in the space provided. -<>- >Jury Selection An important and very well publicized murder trial was soon to begin. In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process took place, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential jurors. One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question session. He was asked, "Property holder?" Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor." Then he was asked, "Married or single?" Dan responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor." Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opinion?" Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ,-----. /' `\ ; ----,---- ; | `o- |`o- | | |_ | | _____, | \_ _/ | `-----' | __.-; ;-.__ _,-' ; : ; ; `-._ _,' `. ,`-,_____ \ : : / ____,-'-, /' ```----. .----''' `\ / \_/ \ | | | | , | , | >SMILES Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. “Yes,” says Sally, “a memorial lock of my husband’s hair.” “But Larry’s still alive.” “I know, but his hair is gone.” -------- When we were qualifying for "open water scuba" certification, one of our instructors was a commercial diver in the offshore oil fields of the Gulf of Mexico. He told the story of, after his first dive, spending the required time in the decompression chamber, and going to bed. Later when he walked into the TV room, he was surprised to see the entire dive crew sitting around. He asked one colleague, dressed in his wetsuit, why work had stopped. Without looking up, he replied, "It's raining." -------- Some have asked what I've been doing in retirement. Well, I applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 feet tall and 400 feet wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim. Then I was gonna hire some idiot to stand on top of it and SCREAM as loud as he could three or four times a day. The City Council told me; Forget it ... AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a Mosque. Work starts on Monday. And here is the best part, it's going to be tax exempt! I love this country. It's the government that scares me. -------- I never called you stupid. But when I asked you how you spelled Mississippi, and you asked whether I was talking about the river or the state, it just kind of caught me off guard. -------- A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender for some drinks: Brunette: "I'll have a B and C." Bartender: "What is a B and C?" Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke." Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T." Bartender: "What's a G and T?" Redhead: "Gin and tonic." Blonde: "I'll have a 15." Bartender: "What's a 15?" Blonde: "7 and 7" ------- Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The women were arguing noisily even in the court. The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them said, "We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can't listen to all of you at once. I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- ,-.-. / ,-. \ ,-. ( |a a| ) ,-. : `( : o ; )' : ____|____(_.>-<._)____|____ (_| / \ |_) || : `.|,' : || '|___..--|_\_|_/_|-...___|' ; | /SSt\ | : / ; ;| ,'|`. |: : \ / /| /|;._____.:|\ |\ \ / ,' `' / ;| |: \ `' `. \ `' / / | | \ \ `' / / ; : \ \ / / /| |\ \ \ / / / | | \ \ \ / / / ; : \ \ \ / / / /| |\ \ \ \ ( / / / | | \ \ \ ) `(_ / / ; : \ \ _)' `'.(_./___\._).`' >Christmas Quotes A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small. ~ Eva K. Logue ~ At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year. ~Thomas Tusser ~ Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind. ~ Helen Steiner Rice ~ Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. ~ Hamilton Wright Mabie ~ Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ~ Mary Ellen Chase ~ Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart... filled it, too, with a melody that would last forever. ~ Bess Streeter Aldrich ~ Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone. ~ Charles Schulz ~ Christmas day is a day of joy and charity. May God make you very rich in both. ~ Phillips Brooks ~ Good news from heaven the angels bring, Glad tidings to the earth they sing: To us this day a child is given, To crown us with the joy of heaven. ~ Martin Luther ~ --- ...Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) __ _..-''--'----_. ,''.-''| .---/ _`-._ ,' \ \ ;| | ,/ / `-._`-. ,' ,',\ \( | |// /,-._ / / ;.`. `,\ \`| |/ / | )/ / / /`_`.\_\ \| /_.-.'-''/ / / /_|_:.`. \ |;'`..') / / `-._`-._`.`.;`.\ ,' / / `-._`.`/ ,'-._/ / : `-/ \`-.._/ | : ;._ ( : | \ ` \ \ \ | : : ; | / ; ,' / / / / / SSt >JEWISH POKER CLUB Six retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut the cards. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door. The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg. --- ...Oh my! HaHa! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Latest From AFA: http://www.afa.net/ Latest From MRCtv: http://www.mrctv.org/ Latest RightAlerts: http://rightalerts.com/ Latest ConservativeTribune: http://conservativetribune.com/ Latest eHeadlines: http://eheadlines.com/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: If you feel like dancin' (and wanna dance the night away), it is probably best if you don't do it in the middle of the night. To loud music. Outside on the street. While dancing on top of a car. And if you must do all of these things, you should most definitely NOT do what Danielle Lanae Jefferson did when police showed up. Gainesville, Florida police said that they have arrested the 35-year-old woman after being accused of dancing to loud rap music, disturbing the peace in the neighborhood in middle of the night. According to the criminal complaint, around 3:15 a.m. neighbors called police to report a woman who was playing loud music. Police officers who arrived at the scene, found Jefferson twerking to rap music on top of her car. Neighbors claimed that Jefferson had been playing the music for over 20 minutes. When asked to shut off the music, Jefferson refused. The police then issued her a noise warning and gave her 15 minutes to comply, but she ignored them. She told police that they could arrest her if they wanted to. The officers gave her a summons and asked her to sign it. Instead of signing it, she crumpled the citation and tossed it at the chest of an officer, prompting her arrest. Jefferson told an officer that she thought he was cute and wanted to keep him around her. Jefferson has been charged with resisting an officer without violence after throwing a citation at a police officer. *--- Christmas Bulb Bandit Steals 150 Bulbs ---* A Seattle woman whose home was targeted by a Christmas light- stealing "bulb bandit" said she eventually caught the culprit on video -- a neighborhood squirrel. Margaret Rican said the "Christmas bulb bandit" stole more than 150 bulbs from her outdoor decorations in the space of 24 hours before she managed to catch the thief on video. The video shows the squirrel running while holding a yellow Christmas bulb, while a second video shows the small animal jumping into a tree while carrying a blue bulb. A third video shows the squirrel repeating the jump, this time with an orange bulb. Rican wrote, "He has stolen 150 in 24 hours, carefully and precisely chewing through the wires to steal the bulb and bury them around the neighborhood. He's the hardest working rodent we've ever seen. and we are really pulling for him, and hoping he survives this winter. He's a quick little bandit, with really good hops." *---------- The Drone Wars Have Begun ----------* A man managed to chase a drone and capture it after it recorded him using the shower of his home, according to police in Utah. According to police, the drone was captured after a man got up early in the morning to prepare for work. He was in his bathroom taking a shower when he heard a buzz. He immediately recognized the noise as a flying drone. The man got into his truck and followed the drone in an attempt to find the owner. The drone landed in a church parking lot, but no one was there. The man took possession of the drone and called the police. When detectives examined what the drone had recorded, they found several videos of people in toilets and bedrooms. The videos also showed images of the suspected drone owner flying the device. The suspect had been convicted of voyeurism in the past for looking over walls in tanning salons. *----- Library Book Returned 120 Years Late -----* A long overdue library book was returned to a British school nearly 12 decades after it was originally checked out. Professor Arthur Boycott, a former student who attended Hereford Cathedral School from 1886 to 1894, checked out "The Microscope and its Revelations" by Dr William B. Carpenter and kept it until it was discovered by his grand- daughter Alice Gillett 120 years later. "I can't imagine how the school has managed without it!" Gillett said. She told the school she found the book among 6,000 others, as she sorted through them following the death of her husband. A school spokesperson told The Guardiann Gillet was lucky her grandfather borrowed the book from the school, as they do not charge late fees to students. "We don't want to put them off borrowing books," the spokesperson said. "Our pupils are really, really good at bringing them back." The school estimated if the book had been borrowed from Hereford Library, the fine would have been $9,351. *------------------ Goat Yoga ------------------* An Arizona yoga instructor said her classes have regularly sold out thanks to her unique twist on the fitness routine -- "Goat Yoga" assisted by actual live goats. April Gould, 38, a self-proclaimed "Goat Whisperer" and a former contestant on NBC's American Ninja Warrior, said she didn't expect when she started offering the classes that she and business partner Sarah Williams would be leading sold-out crowds of 60 people in yoga poses with help from the eight goats on her farm near Gilbert. "I kind of thought it was going to be a fun, trendy, kind of goofy thing, but I didn't expect to have this kind of response," Gould told the Arizona Republic. "I love the people that come. I feel like it's just a big party and everyone leaves so happy." The goats walk among the students as they practice their yoga poses and occasionally even climb on top of yogis when their torsos are flat. Gould said the hour-long classes cost students $10. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend PatDeE :) ________.-. .-.________ (_______( / \---- ----/ \ )_______) (___()\) ) ( (/()___) (__() ()__) (_()___/---- ----\___()_) unknown LInguists—take note!! especially you cunning ones!!! The sentences below are called paraprosdokians. A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and oft times very humorous. If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me very attractive. I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. I'm great at multi-tasking: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. Take my advice, I'm not using it. Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly? Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type. Men say women should come with an instruction manual; but since when has any man stopped to read the instructions. I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you --- ...TeeHee! Great! Thanks PatDeE! ======================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. "Start with a capital S, then 123," she shouted back. We tried S123 several times, but it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, "I really don't know what's so difficult about typing 'Start123.'" -<>- My sister didn't do as well on her driver's ed test as she'd hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: "When the ___ is dead, the car won't start." She wrote: "Driver." -<>- Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment. One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital. After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?" "No," the woman nervously replied. "What?" -<>- While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help. "The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'" "Monogamy," he answered. -<>- After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun. The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger's gas tank. Wearily I walked back to the station. "You know," the attendant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here." -<>- While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups, plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables away from her, I felt a stinging pain in my hand where I was cut from the shattered debris. I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor. "What happened?" he asked. I said, "I was attacked by a flying saucer." ========================================================= >-->From AndyChaps: .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ## .. #### ##.............## ## ##.............## ## ##.............## ## ##.............### ##...........## ############# ############# ################# -Berry- >Andy Says... Just Think About This! ** ** Prejudice not being founded on reason cannot be removed by argument. -- Samuel Johnson ** Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices -- just recognize them. -- Edward R. Murrow ** Ignorance is less remote from truth than prejudice. -- Denis Diderot ** A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. -- Ambrose Bierce ** Those who do not read are no better off than those who can not. -- Chinese Proverb ** Ignorance is a voluntary misfortune. -- Italian Proverb ** Out of timber so crooked as that from which man is made nothing entirely straight can be built. --Immanuel Kant ** "To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeatable." ~- Helen Keller ** You don't make peace with friends. You make it with very unsavory enemies. --Yitzhak Rabin ** The young [person] . . . knows the rules, but the old [person] . . . knows the exceptions." --Oliver Wendell Holmes -<>- | ,|, ||| / | \ | | | | | | / | \ | | | | | \ / \ | | | | | | \ / | | 8 | | | ""8"" / | \ 8 / \ ,\ ,d8888888888888|========|="" | ,d" "88888888888| ,aa, | a | ,d" "888888888| 8 8 | 8 | ,d8888888b, "8888888| 8aa8 | 8,| ,d" "8888888b, "88888|========|="" | ,d" "8888888b, "888| a a | a | ,d" ,aa, "8888888b, "8| 8 8 | 8,| /| d" "b |""""""| |========|="" | | 8 8 | | | ,aa, | a | | 8aaaa8 | | | 8 8 | 8 | | | | | """" | ,,=| |aaaaaaaaaaaaaa|======""""""""""""""""" ** MORE CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS ** ** ~ As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. ** ~ Fifth Sinday is Lent. ** ~ Thank you dead friends. ** ~ Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding. ** ~ Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter. ** ~ Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits. ** ~ For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit. ** ~ Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men. ** ~ Persons who are shut-in during bath weather. ** ~ Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas. ** ~ The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working... ** ~ Don't forget that elections for Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess will be held at next month's business meeting. ** ~ We pray that our people will jumble themselves. ** ~ May God give us increasing hunger for the Blob. ** ~ There will not be any Women Worth Watching this week. ** ~ Hymn of Response: Crown Him With Many Cows ** ~ Child care provided with reservations. ** ~ Tonight, Pastor will preach on "Diving Healing." ** ~ Janet Smith has volunteered to strip, and refinish the communion table in the sanctuary. ** ~ Were you there when they laid Him in the bomb? ** ~ Christ is a member of Boy Scout Troop 36. ** ~ Mark your calendars not to attend the church retreat. ** ~ My joke is easy and my burden is light. ** ~ I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirty and you gave me drink. -<>- ** Who Are They?? ** An employee approached his boss and asked for a raise. "Well" began the head man, "business is bad now, Frank and I just can't afford to give you a raise." "But I'm doing the three men's work and I always have..." retorted Frank. "Three men's work?" exploded the boss. "Tell me who the other two are, and I'll fire them!" -<>- ** Marriage is ** Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind. -<>- ** What to Do ** _|_ | / \ //_\\ //(_)\\ |/^\| ,%%%% // \\ ,@@@@@@@, ,%%%%/%%% // \\ ,@@@\@@@@/@@, @@@%%%\%%//%%%// === \\ @@\@@@/@@@@@ @@@@%%%%\%%%%%// =-=-= \\@@@@\@@@@@@;%#####, @@@@%%%\%%/%%// === \\@@@@@@/@@@%%%######, @@@@@%%%%/%%//| |\\@\\//@@%%%%%%#/#### '@@@@@%%\\/%~ | | ~ @|| %\\//%%%#####; @@\\//@|| | __ __ | || %%||%%'###### '@|| || | | | | | || ||##\//#### || || | | -|- | | || ||'#||###' || || |_|__|__|_| || || || || ||_/` ======= `\__||_._|| || jgs__||_/` ======= `\_||___ At our adult Sunday-school class, the teacher asked us to think of everyday ways in which we could practice our religion. The topic of driving courtesy came up first. "How do you respond to the driver who rudely cuts you off?" the teacher asked. A woman piped up, "Turn the other fender?" -<>- ** New Christmas Story ** A little boy returned from Sunday School with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he just had to tell his parents: "I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys!" And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around." -<>- _ / } /'.\ _/ ) (`- ( ,) |/ /| ' ` Elb ** "The Three Wise Women" ** You know what would have happened if there had been three wise WOMEN instead of three wise MEN, don't you? They would have asked for directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the Baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and given practical gifts, such as disposable diapers. -<>- _ , L\ \/OO\ |/ \ /_\ ` _\ |_ Arjen Pilon ** "The Three Wise Women Talking" ** But what would they have said when they left ...? "Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?" "That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph!" "Virgin? I knew her in school!" "Can you believe that they let all of those disgusting animals in there!" "I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now!" "And that donkey that they are riding has seen better days too!" "Want to bet on how long it will take until you get your casserole dish back?" -<>- "--. ____===="____--------------_____//______ _________________________ //! || ==== ==== ==== ==== ==== || !\\ | _ _ ___ ___ ___ _ (____||___====_====_====_====_====___||____) |||_||_| |___| |___||___| |_ .._____________________DB_____________________.||| | ___DB________________ //( )--( )--( ) +--------+ ( )--( )--( )\\ ----'( )---( )`------------- ============================================================================ -Ken Kobayashi- ** Traveling By Train ** On a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big red slap mark on his cheek. (1) The blonde thought - "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face" (2) The fat lady thought - "That dirty old Bill Clinton laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him". (3) Bill Clinton thought - "George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me". (4) George Bush thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again" -<>- , :. , ,__.`|\' , \,^|/|='._=-_. -.,\ \_) \/(^_)\/ (_/ / -:__ .-'~__)` ___-`~. ___ ~(_'-)-~` -^~\ ~-.' _ '. .' _ `.-._~/^~. _.=^<-.'| (@) | | (@) | ->.-^` ~-._>-'`. .'~'. .'`-<~.' .-~^'__^^--~`_...__`~--^^. _,^= `-^ __.;--~`( | )`~--;-~-._`: __...'~``.~ ^'-._\_/_.-'^~-.~-_...__ /. ~- `\-. ^.~ .`~` `.~-. ^.-/~.- ^,\ |^'- .` ~|_`-.._:_._,_:_,_..-'|- ~ . ',| |=|`, .~ '.|====================|^. ',`. |='| |/\__\__\__/|\|/|\|/|\|/|\|/|\|/\__/__/__/|/| | | | | | | | | | | | |(o __ o) | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ((__))| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |`--' | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | ** Unbreakable Rules Of Life ** ** There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Numbskulls. ** I live in my own little world, but it's OK, everyone knows me here. ** I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" ** I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast. ** Sign In Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..." ** Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. ** If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"? ** I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected. ** The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. ** I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ** Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys. ** If I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect. ** Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. ** That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius...because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains." ** No one ever says "It's only a game!" when their team is winning. ** Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? ** How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. ** Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to ever see naked? ** Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. ** Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been. -<>- z .-------------------------------------. Z | ...and then I have to do the dishes, | z | and get the kids lunch... zZzZzZzZ | '-,-----------------------------------' ___ _/ .´ __) ( /_ _(\ ( _| > )) ( ( (---'-. (_ `)\-`` ) `/-/ ) \ ----(__.´--------------. \ \ \\_______________________\ ** I'm Okay ** The house is a mess, the dishes are dirty. I'm too old for this stuff, I'm well over thirty! The car is not clean, my hair is a wreck, And I've already spent next Friday's paycheck. The laundry needs washing, the kids are too rowdy, And I never have time for a leisurely "Howdy." With all that I do, it's never enough, It's never quite finished, it always looks rough. I looked in my mirror and what did I see? A harried old stranger, where I used to be. The hurrier I go, the behinder I get. Today is tomorrow, and I'm not caught up yet. My kids are growing at such a fast pace, That I'm missing their childhood for the sake of this race. I work and I clean and I cook, and I say "Hit the books, clean your room!" there's no time for play. Well, the Lord, for some reason, chose ME with the care Of three of His children, but I'm rarely there! I've GOT to slow down lest there's nothing to show For my role as their Mom when they pack up and go! I'm only one person, but look through my door, What appears to be one, divides into more! I'm a chauffeur, a cook, a planter of trees, A teacher, an umpire, a mender of knees. Sometimes, I forget that deep down inside, There's a lady with feelings, and last night, she cried. She gets tired and lonely, feels taken for granted She wants to see blooms from the seeds that she's planted. Then, amidst all the turmoil in this mind-bending pace, My little ones look at me square in the face... And just when I need it, they in unison say, "Momma, I love you" and then...I'm OKAY! ~~Author Unknown~ -<>- .----. ===(_)== THIS WONT HURT A BIT... // 6 6 \\ / ( 7 ) \ '--' / \_ ._/ __) (__ /"`/`\`V/`\`\ / \ `Y _/_ \ / [DR]\_ |/ / /\ | ( \/ / / / \ \ \ / \ `-/` _.` jgs `=. `=./ `"` ** A worried goober entered a doctor's office... ** "Doctor," he said, "you've got to help me. I swallowed a silver dollar about five years ago." "Good heavens, man!" screamed the doctor. "Why have you waited five years? Why didn't you go to a doctor the day you swallowed the silver dollar?" "To tell the truth," replied the goober, "I didn't need the money at the time." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Baby, It's Cold Outside!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/coldpets.html Life's Little Oops 12!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops12.html Leopard Vs Crocodile!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/leopard.html Patriot Fire/Rescue!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/patriot.html Road Train Trucks! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/roadtrain.html Amazing Cop Cars 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/copcars2.html Advertising Truck Art!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/truckart.html Guoliang Tunnel Road!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tunnel.html Record Christmas Lights!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/recordlights.html Disney Christmas!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneychristmas.html Shangrala's Christmas Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html FUN URL Links http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/urls.html Easy Does It Home Recipes! Yummy DESSERTS! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html >Some FUN Facts: Word/Phrase Origins http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/origins.html Are Angels REAL? http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/angelsreal.html The Christmas Story! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/christmasstory.html When Was Jesus Christ Born? http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/whenjesusborn.htm Amazing Trivia Facts! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/triviafacts.html Amazing Football Facts! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/footballfacts.html What Are These Arrows Across America? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/arrows.html Kilroy Was Here - so who is Kilroy? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kilroywashere.html Funny Animal Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/zoo2.html Fun Science Ads! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/science.html Space Trivia Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spacetrivia.html Weird Rainy Days! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/rainyday.html God's Night Lights! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/night.html World's Tallest Snow Woman! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/snowwoman.html World's Largest Things! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/largest.html World's Largest Model Railway! http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/modelrailway.html -<>- >Please Visit This Link to Get New Traffic For Shangrala :) Fun Pages http://www.funpageexchange.com/go.php?uid=3559 -<>- >What happened today in Christian History? http://www.christianitytoday.com/ -<>- >From our friends At TruthOrTradition.com :) His Angels as Winds – Hebrews 1:7 & Psalm 104:4 “And of the angels he says, He makes his angels as winds, and his ministers as... Read the Full Article >> http://tinyurl.com/qcqoqh3 -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) The biggest gold heist of all time http://tinyurl.com/j7s3pf6 --- ...Interesting! Thanks Geniann! My Christmas card to you... A Bridge For Santa https://www.youtube.com/embed/eOPhBWlF5bo --- ...Aww, Such a heart touching one! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) 12 Holes of Christmas... Game http://www.onemorelevel.com/game/12_holes_of_christmas A Christmas Card - story http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/full/ap/3023160/graphic1.swf --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From PeggyT :) More of Mrs. Claus's Favorite Cookie Recipes: *Chocolate Streusel Bars http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0434.html *Chocolate Sundae Cookies http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0678.html *Chocolate Walnut Crumb Bars http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0593.html *Choco-Scotch Crunchies http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0660.html *Choose A Cookie Dough Recipe http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0765.html *Christmas Crunch Bars http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0694.html *Christmas Ginger Snaps http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0713.html *Christmas Mice Cookies http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0626.html --- ...Wonderful! All sound yummy! Thanks PeggyT -<>- >From Our Friend Fran :) If I Were Santa http://www.mamarocks.com/if_i_were_santa.htm Up On The Housetop http://www.mamarocks.com/up_on_the_housetop.htm --- ...Fun ones! Thanks Fran! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A beautiful video of Silent Night performed By Sissel that is relaxing and enjoyable to watch. I love looking at all the wildlife and outdoor scenes as the song is being sung. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EMH-3evZV8 Celtic Woman, the all-female musical ensemble from Ireland, with their most beautiful performance of 'O Holy Night.' 'Celtic Woman' was assembled by David Downes, former Musical Director of the Irish stage show Riverdance, with the idea to present Celtic music and culture by blending the Irish elements of music and dance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8uxCiJXFVs "The 12 Days Of Christmas" - from the 1979 TV Christmas special "A Christmas Together with John Denver and The Muppets". A lot of holiday fun! "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is an English Christmas carol that enumerates in the manner of a cumulative song a series of increasingly grand gifts given on each of the twelve days of Christmas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_rMCwoCLv8 --- ...so Cute! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I read about a woman from California who is driving by herself across the country to visit every single Costco in the U.S. So far, she's traveled 2,000 miles - and that was just walking through one Costco." -Jimmy Fallon "Pope Francis has warned the media to stop spreading false information. Or as the media reported it, 'World's Top Rabbi Says 'Keep Up the Good Work!'" -Conan O'Brien "Today in 1884, the Washington Monument was completed, and if George Washington were here today to see it he would probably say, 'That looks nothing like me.'" -Seth Meyers "There's a new workout where people crawl like a baby. It's a new thing, because it strengthens your core while working your shoulders and hips. In response, babies were like, 'Have you seen our bodies?'" -Jimmy Fallon "On Saturday, the hearse carrying Fidel Castro's remains broke down and had to be pushed. The hearse was being driven by Cuba's minister of metaphors." -Conan O'Brien "Donald Trump has announced another Cabinet position. Dr. Ben Carson, who ran against him in the primary, has been nominated for secretary of Housing and Urban Development. Trump actually first announced this in a tweet, and it becomes official as soon as Congress retweets it. I think that's how the U.S. government works nowadays." -James Corden "Experts are warning shoppers to check the spelling of websites on cyber Monday because there are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a store's name. Yep, they said if you want more info on this, just look it up on Goggle." -Jimmy Fallon "Ed Sheeran made his first public appearance since an accident where he suffered a deep facial cut. It happened at a party when Princess Beatrice jokingly went to knight James Blunt with a sword, and accidentally cut Ed Sheeran on the back side swing. The only way to make getting clobbered in the face not at all hard-core is by adding James Blunt and knighthood and a princess to the story." -James Corden "The CEO of Starbucks announced he's stepping down. He's going to become the CEO of the Starbucks across the street." -Conan O'Brien >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************