High Stress Diet And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our first sizzler comes from our friends Linda and Geniann. If you've ever done something stupid that you regret, this should make you feel better! Check out this funny page here... _ /X \ _------_ / \ | | | | | __ __) | / \/ \ /\/\ (o )o ) /c \__/ --. \_ _-------' | / \ | | '\_______) | \_____) |_____ | |_____/\/\ / \ unknown Did You See That 2? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/seethat2.html --- ...LOL! Love it! The video is amazing! Thanks Ladies! This next too hot to handle goodie is from our friend Nancy. This one will crack you up! These artists know how to photograph dogs! Check it out here... ,--. /\)-OO \(_) * (/\ . / \)\) ool Right Angle Photography! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/anglephoto2.html --- ...LMAO! These are Great! Thanks Nancy! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: / jgs () Forgot The Bait || || __ \\ Having arrived at the edge of the / > \\ river, the fisherman soon realized ||` .-"||". he had forgotten to bring any bait. \\/ _//. `\ Just then he happened to see a little ( (-' \ \ snake passing by who had caught a worm. \ ) | | The fisherman snatched up the snake and `" / / robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry / / for the little snake with no lunch, he | ( _ snatched him up again and poured a little \ `.-.-.'o`\ beer down his throat and went about his fishing. '.( ( ( .--' __ `"`"'` (\ .-. .-. /_") An hour or so later the \\_//^\\_//^\\_// fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. jgs `"` `"` `"` Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ October 13 is International Skeptics Day October 14 is Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day October 15 is White Cane Safety Day October 16 is Bosses Day and Dictionary Day October 17 is Wear Something Gaudy Day October 18 International Newspaper Carrier Day and Sweetest Day October 19 is Evaluate Your Life Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: | | | _ | | <_> | | | | | `-._ | |`-._| | | _________________________________|____ `-._ `-._ | `-._ `-._ | kat `-._ `-._ >Football Official It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top. "How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed. "You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in the first quarter." The official just stared. The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game. "What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!" The official stared a few more seconds. Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down. He turned to face the steaming quarterback. The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?" -<>- >High Definition TV The salesman at the electronics store was pitching a high-definition television to a customer. A fellow shopper, overhearing the spiel, mentioned that he'd upgraded his regular TV to high-def. "How did you do that?" my husband asked. "I dusted the screen." -<>- >Medical Records The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians . . . By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. The patient refused an autopsy. The patient has no past history of suicides. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. She is numb from her toes down. The skin was moist and dry. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. Patient was alert and unresponsive. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. -<>- >New Baby When my wife came home from the hospital with our second baby, she hired Myrna, a live-in-nurse, to come along and help out for the first few weeks. Having read up on sibling rivalry, my wife watched our eighteen-month-old daughter Chelsey for signs of jealousy or insecurity. But Chelsey adored her little brother from the start. She loved to help Myrna feed and bathe the baby. She even offered to share her toys. Several weeks passed and the mother of my two children, convinced that Chelsey was suffering no ill effects, decided she could manage without a nurse. As she watched Myrna walk out to her car that last day, she heard an unmistakable cry of distress. "Myrna!" yelled Chelsey, running after her. "You forgot your baby!" -<>- >Senior Wedding The pastor of a local church was called to the nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the man. The pastor asked, "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "I guess." "Is she a good woman?" "I don't know for sure." "Does she have lots of money?" ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) >SMILES ((" ") <)) <\(> '\| |\ ________/|______| \_________ kOs I was sitting at the computer the other day & called out to my wife, "When I die I'm going to leave everything to you, Love!" She shouted back, " You already do." ------- A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when he interrupted him, "Hey look, I'm a vet and I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions -- I can tell what's wrong just by looking." He smugly added, "Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, stood back, looked him up and down, then quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to him and said, "There you are. Of course, if this stuff doesn't work, we'll probably have to have you put to sleep." ------- A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost fifty dollars an hour to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee. "Hoot mon," he said, "in Scotland it wouldna ha' been more than $20." "That might be true," said the travel agent, "but you have to take into account that the Sea of Galilee is water on which our Lord himself walked." "Well, at $50 an hour for a boat," said the Scotsman, "it's no wonder he walked!" ------- Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. ------- .-''-. / , \ .-'`(o) ; '-==. | `._...-;-. )--""" `-. / . `-. / / `. `-. | \ ; \ `-._________ | \ `.`.; -------`. \ `-. \\\\ `---...| `. `-. ```\.--'._ `---...| `-.....7`-.))\ `-._`-.. / `._\ / `-` `-.,' / / /=(_ -./--' ` hjw ,^-(_ ,--' ` Q: What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon? A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes. ------- I went to the pub last night, had a shot of Jack Daniels and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said to her, "Nice legs." The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so." I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. " That's when the fight started --------- Donald Trump is on a P.R. tour and visits an old folks' home. He walks up to a sweet looking old lady in a wheelchair, and asks, "Do you know who I am?" She smiles through her blank expression and responds, "No...but if you go up to the front desk, they'll tell you." -------- Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "whew, that was so hard." The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards." -------- The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren. One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?" "What do I think?" his mother said. "Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!" ------- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw >Definitions of Getting Old... Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied: 'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?' ~~~ Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.' ~~~ I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. ~~~ I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over. ~~~ An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.. 'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed. 'Why Wal-Mart?' 'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week' ~~~ My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. ~~~ It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker .. ~~~ These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.' ~~~ THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! ======================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) _.._ .-" "-. / ,- -. \ : ' o o ` ; ; . , : : :-.__.-: ; \ :_: :_: / `-._ _.-' bug "" The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly. Everybody, that is, except Mike. When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss said, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?" "My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm quitting tomorrow." ------- While my friend Emily was visiting her mother, they went for a walk and bumped into an old family acquaintance. "Is this your daughter?" the woman asked. "Oh, I remember her when she was this high. How old is she now?" Without pausing, Emily's mother said, "Twenty-four." Emily, 35, nearly fainted on the spot. After everyone had said their goodbyes, Emily asked her mother why she'd told such a whopper. "Well," she replied, "I've been lying about my age for so long, it suddenly dawned on me that I'd have to start lying about yours too." ------- A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" "It goes moo." "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" "It goes meow." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "It goes baaa." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" "It goes...click!" ------- When a thief snatched a chain necklace a friend of mine was wearing, she grabbed at his collar, trying unsuccessfully to stop his getaway. Asked for the thief's description later, she said,"Don't bother looking for him. He only got a costume jewelry chain of mine. But when I grabbed him by the collar, I got his chain, and it's real gold!" -<>- _______ /______/"=, [ | "=, "=,, [-----+----"=,* ) (_---_____---_)/ (O) (O) Emiliano >Drivers Education Exam Answers Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time? A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do." Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your steering wheel. Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? A: The color. Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A: Heavy psychedelics. --- ...TeeHee! Oh My! LOL! Thanks Geniann! ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: A "birthday treat" lap dance went spectacularly wrong for a man who had to enlist the help of eight firefighters to bust him out of handcuffs. The man was celebrating his birthday with a lap dance at a private residence in Queenstown, New Zealand when he got trapped in handcuffs. The female dancer and others tried to free him but failed, so they called emergency around 12:30 a.m.. Volunteer fire brigade senior firefighter Paul Halsted, who eventually freed the man from his cuff hold, said the group met firefighters at the station after trying both the police station and medical centre. "There was nobody there. We were all in bed so they called 111 to try to get some help." Just to make sure things stayed nice and discreet to avoid any embarrassment, a total of eight firefighters were roused to attend the situation. Halsted said one of the cuffs had tightened around the man's wrist and previous attempts to get it off had tightened it further. Luckily for the birthday gang, Halsted managed to pry it apart and release the locking mechanism. "They weren't police handcuffs, there was no substantial locking mechanism. I guess you'd describe them as recreational." Fellow senior firefighter Nathan Clark described it as "a birthday treat gone wrong". *-- Wife-carrying contest offers wife's weight in beer --* NEWRY, Maine (UPI) - Organizers of the North American Wife Carrying Championship in Maine said the winner will receive their wife's weight in beer and five times her weight in cash. The organizers announced the Oct. 11 competition at the Sunday River Resort in Newry will feature a 278-yard obstacle course and the fastest finisher will receive their wife's weight in beer and five times the woman's weight in cash as a prize. The event will also offer prizes for the team with the greatest combined weight and the spousal pairing with the greatest combined age. The Wife Carrying Championship was inspired by 19th century outlaw Herkko Rosvo-Ronkainen, who legend holds would lead raids on towns in Finland and he and his henchmen would carry off women they chose as their brides. The legends inspired Sonkajarvi, Finland, to host the first Wife Carrying World Championships in 1992. *-- Detroit homeowner seeks to trade house for iPhone --* DETROIT (UPI) - A Detroit homeowner selling an "investor special" house has lowered the asking price from $5,000 to an iPhone 6, his real estate broker said. Larry Else, real estate broker for the unidentified man, who lives in Austria, said his client is willing to trade the run-down "investor special" home for the latest iPhone, but he will also accept a 32 gigabyte iPad. "This house is really not worth much at all," Else told ABC News. He said his client purchased the house for $41,000 in 2010 and only later learned the seller had purchased it for $10,500 only two weeks earlier. Else said his client "was a victim himself." The home, which has no front door, has since accumulated more than $6,000 in back taxes and is due to go into foreclosure next year if the taxes remain unpaid. Else said there has been some interest in the home since the offer went public, including a potential buyer who offered an iPhone 5, an older model than the asking price, and another who offered $850. The broker said one woman said she was interested in the house "for the wood" because she needed white pine planks. *-- Firefighters rescue 3-year-old from mailbox --* BRUNN AM GEBIRGE, Austria (UPI) - Firefighters in Austria said they freed a 3-year-old boy who became locked in a large postal box during a game of hide-and-seek. The Modling Fire Department said the boy was visiting a residential complex in Brunn am Gebirge with his parents Monday and he chose the mailbox as a hiding spot for a game of hide-and-seek. Emergency responders needed to be summoned about 7 p.m., however, when the box's door locked behind the boy, trapping him inside. Firefighters, who used a hydraulic spreader and a crowbar to get into the box, said the boy was "amazingly brave" and greeted them with a smile once they got the box open. *-- 100 pairs of Chinese military pants rip simultaneously --* WUHAN, China (UPI) - A Chinese military reserve training session was interrupted when the reservists were told to sit down and more than 100 pairs of pants ripped simultaneously. Chinese media reports indicate about 4,500 reservists were participating in the training session Sept. 8 at a university in Hubei province and the group was instructed to sit in unison, leading more than 100 reservists to tear their pants in unison. The tearing was accompanied by an audible ripping sound, witnesses said. The pants, standard issue camouflage for the Chinese military, cost about $15 each, considered a high price for pants in China. The incident has been raising questions in Chinese media about the country's military's combat-readiness if their pants are prone to failure. ========================================================= >-->High Stress Diet ________ /________\ //( ( ( ( \\ || ((|| ||) ) ` ) )|| || (\___( ( || \|) ) \)_|/ / ((\_v_/ \ / /) x \ \ | | x | | | \ x / | | | x | | | |\ x /| | | |/\ x /\| | | | \x/ | | | | V | | /____\ /____\ | | | | / \ / \ | | | | `~~| |~~' This is a specially formulated diet designed to help people cope with the stress that builds during the day. Breakfast: 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 1 cup skim milk Lunch: 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken 1 cup spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 Hershey's kiss Afternoon Tea: The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag 1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips Dinner: 4 glasses of wine (red or white) 2 loaves garlic bread 1 family size supreme pizza 3 Snickers Bars Midnight Night Snack: 1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: _"_ % (< ? ` " __||___ |\___//_\ (' | ') \\ __|\ , / |/ /: / \ :: \| ######o /| ######## \) ######## \ : / \: / -- %%% %% % /:\ |/|, b'ger Doug asks, "I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours, Bill. What are you going to do when she starts to date?" Bill says, "I figure I'll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder, and pull him close to me so that only he can hear. Then I'll say, "Do you see that sweet, little young lady? She's my only daughter, and I love her very much. If you were thinking about touching, kissing, or being physically affectionate to her in any way, just remember...I don't mind going back to prison." -<>- Like many cello players, I sometimes get an odd buzz on one of the strings. A rubber cylinder helps damp the troublesome tone. One of these was mixed in with my pocket change, which I had pulled out while at the coffee machine. "What's that?" the woman standing next to me asked. "If you put it on your G-string," I said without thinking, "you won't hear any wolf notes." [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.] -<>- A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved." -<>- Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argu- ment. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one. "There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor. They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. "Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us." The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?" "That's right," he called back, "two pints." -<>- Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill to the trench they had dug in the middle of the road. The workers explained the detour route to town, and she went on her way. They were surprised, however, to see the same woman coming toward them from town a couple of hours later. "Oh," she said distractedly as she again pulled up next to the trench crew. "Is it closed in this direction too?" -<>- One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about about him?" -<>- Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents. "Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mom added.... "And, Kathryn?" "Yes, mom?" "Call them first and let them know you're coming." -<>- Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!" ========================================================= >-->FASHION _____ , ___)) / | 6 6 (___( _e ____/ /_ / \ o\_/ \ / /\' _ _)\ /_< )____/\_\ ___oo' ,ooooo,|_/ -//,-( / |=/ | \ \ \ \ )_______\ / ) / ) / / ( | | / \ | _________ |/_______\|________. = = /( )\ b'ger /,/ 7 \\_ Many of us [those over 40, WAY over 40, or hovering near 40] are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen, the following com- binations DO NOT go together and should be avoided: 1. A nose ring and bifocals 2. Spiked hair and bald spots 3. A pierced tongue and dentures 4. Miniskirt and support hose 5. Ankle bracelet and corn pads 6. Speedo's and cellulite 7. A belly ring and a gall bladder scar 8. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor 9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge 10. Bikinis and liver spots 11. Short shorts and varicose veins 12. Inline skates and a walker Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) -=[ women faces ]=- ,{{}}}}}}. {{{{{}}}}}}}. {{{{ {{{{{}}}} }}}}} _ _ {{{{{ }}}} m m }}}}} {{{{C ^ {{{{{ }}}}}}\ '=' /}}}}}} {{{{{{{{;.___.;{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}) (}}}}}}}}}} {{{{}}}}}': :{{{{{{{{{{ {{{}}}}}} `@` {{{}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}} {{{{{{{{{ jgs {{{{{{{{ }}}}}} }}}}} {{{{ {{{ }} >Some Old Some New Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' George replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ------- A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' ------- 'Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife £775 a week,' 'That's very fair, your honour,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bob myself.' ------- A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to A & E, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the look of your wife at all.' 'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.' ------- An old man goes to the wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.' ------- A blonde calls British Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from London to New York City ?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up. ------- Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. 'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.' ------- Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.' Joe: 'Really?' Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.' ------- A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. I'm O. K., but I didn't like the four letter-word the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say?' asked the nurse. 'Oops!' ------- While shopping for holiday clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a two piece or an all-in-one?' 'Better get the two piece,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care. ------- The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there'. --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! ========================================================== >-->HOW DOES YOUR STATE RATE? _._ .' '. | / //\\\ \ | ( ( -\- ) ) | '-\_=_/-' // .-'\ /'-. (|/ / '-' \ / / | \__ __/_/\/ /| | |\ / \ / \ \ \ '-' `\/\ ; |/|\ | | | | | | | |_______| | | | \ | / jgs /=|=\ (_/T\_) ALABAMA ... Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968. ALASKA ... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license. ARIZONA ... Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time. ARKANSAS ... Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S. CALIFORNIA ... Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world. COLORADO ... In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics. CONNECTICUT ... The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University. DELAWARE ... Has more scientists and engineers than any other state. FLORIDA ... At 759 square miles, Jacksonville is the US's largest city. GEORGIA ... It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola. HAWAII ... Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state. IDAHO ... TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922. ILLINOIS ... The Chicago River is dyed green every St. Patrick's Day. INDIANA ... Home to Santa Claus, Indiana, which get a half million letter to Santa every year. IOWA ... Winnebagos get their name from Winnebago County. Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels. KANSAS ... Liberal, Kansas, has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz. KENTUCKY ... Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox. LOUISIANA ... Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units. MAINE ... It's so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined. MARYLAND ... The Oujia board was created in Baltimore in 1892. MASSACHUSETTS ... The Fig Newton is named after Newton, Massachusetts. MICHIGAN ... Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world. MINNESOTA ... Bloomington's Mall of America is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days. MISSISSIPPI ... President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here. That's how the teddy bear got its name. MISSOURI ... Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone. MONTANA .. A sapphire from Montana is the Crown Jewels of England. NEBRASKA ... More triplets are born here than in any other state. NEVADA ... Has more hotel rooms than any other place in the world. NEW HAMPSHIRE ... Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper. NEW JERSEY ... Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world. NEW MEXICO ... Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here. NEW YORK ... Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk. NORTH CAROLINA ... Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut. NORTH DAKOTA ... Rigby, North Dakota, is the exact geo- graphic center of North America. OHIO ... The hot dog was invented here in 1900. OKLAHOMA ... The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells. OREGON ... Has the most ghost towns in the country. PENNSYLVANIA ... The smiley, :) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University. RHODE ISLAND ... The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673 SOUTH CAROLINA ... Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm. SOUTH DAKOTA ... Is the only state that's never had an earthquake. TENNESSEE ... Nashville's Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world. TEXAS ... Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885. UTAH ... The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952. VERMONT ... Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's. VIRGINIA ... Home of the world's largest office building... the Pentagon. WASHINGTON ... Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state. WASHINGTON D.C. ... Was the first planned capital in the world. WEST VIRGINIA ... Had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870. WISCONSIN ... The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays. WYOMING ... Was the first state to allow women to vote. ====================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Bob Hope's Home http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bobhopehome.html Amazing Trivia Facts! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/triviafacts.html Greetings http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greetings.html I Believe http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/believe.html The City That Time Forgot! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/city.html Butchart Gardens http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bgardens.html Human Chameleon http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chameleon.html House Dust Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dusthouse.html Amazing Cop Cars 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/copcars2.html Balloon Party http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/party.html Grizzly Bear Killed http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grizzly.html Kid Lessons http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kidlessons.html Montreal Gardens http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/montreal.html Maxine On Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonjesus.html Maxine On Fall http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonfall.html Strange Tombstones! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tombstones.html -<>- >From Our Friend PatDeE :) GUINESS BEER COMMERCIAL, WORTH WATCHING! http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=rx0MRawkrj4 --- ...Sweet! Thanks PatDeE! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Stranger Rips Apart Homeless Veteran's "Anything Helps" Sign! http://tinyurl.com/lshqp5x --- ...Oh Gee! Thanks Melody! Muslim Demographics - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/embed/6-3X5hIFXYU Free online Christian music radio http://tinyurl.com/nrqkkvn Heart Foods Slideshow: Resveratrol, Salmon, Flaxseed, and More http://tinyurl.com/m9skq2f --- ...Good Ones! Thanks Melody! -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Mary Poppins is no longer the only one with magic umbrellas, this next illusionist and magician makes her flying trick look like child's play! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_c9z9515YWg Vlad performs some incredible magic tricks with his feet at the French television show 'The World's Greatest Cabaret.' https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=FPQfzlG55y8 Drones are becoming a bigger and bigger part of our lives. They can be scary, but they could also be helpful. Imagine this tiny drone in the pocket of every service man or woman in our military. You have to see how small it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLP1DSuaDgo&feature=player_embedded --- ...Wowaers! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) wanna be a cop in LA? Dash-cam footage from a police car in south central LA. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=511107388962621 --- ...Scary! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The White House wants to appoint a high-powered official to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and issue directions to the Pentagon and the State Department. This person would be called the president of the United States." -Conan O'Brien "Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?" --Rita Rudner "On this date in 1899 Thomas Edison showed the first motion picture. To give you an idea of the times, back then, large butter popcorn cost around $8." --Dave Letterman "While getting dressed one morning, I decided I have been spending waaaaay too much time on the computer, when I caught myself checking the lower right corner of my make- up mirror to see what time it was." --Unknown "Al Gore told the United Nations that cigarette smoking is a significant contributor to global warming. To be fair, you have to blame us, the non-smokers. We're the ones that made them go outside, right?" --Jay Leno "Some public school now will be serving sushi. Well, if you love cafeteria meatloaf, you're going to really love cafeteria sushi!" --Dave Letterman >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************