Homonyms Vs Heteronyms ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To UnSubscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
================
*~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users:
Please Friend Me / Like Me here...
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^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :)
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|:::.; ' | . '| ====)_/===;===========;()
|::; | | ; ; | | # # # #::::::
/::::.|-| |_|-|, \ # # # #::::::
/'-=-'` '-' '--'\ # # # #::::::
jgs / \ # # # #::::::
# # # # # # #
In REMEMBERANCE # # # # # # #
# # # # # # #
O F 9 - 11 # # # # # # #
# # # # # # #
# # # # # # #
*~* In Remembrance of 9-11:
Prayer:
May America always stand watchful and alert, never forgetting and thus
keeping us and our children and our children's children safer. May our
prayers and our diligence keep God close and at hand to watch over and
protect us and our country for all time. May God bless the hearts and
lives of all of us and especially those who have been hurt by this
horrible tragedy through Christ Jesus our victorious Lord and savior,
Amen.
*~* Shangrala's 9-11 And Troop Pages:
Animated 9-11 images
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html
Angel Wing Decoys
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/angel.html
Bleed American
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/bleed.html
Chevy: American Pride
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chevypride.html
Dog Warriors
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/dogwarriors.html
Freedom Isn't Free
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html
Friendly Fire
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/friendly.html
From Russia With Love
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/teardrop.html
HERO!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/hero.html
Hero's Truck
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/herotruck.html
K9 9/11 Heroes
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/k9-11.html
Lest We Forget
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lestweforget.html
Lest We Forget #2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lestweforget2.html
Liberty Air Show
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/liberty.html
Proud Of Our Troops
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops.html
Proud Of Our Troops 2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops2.html
Proud Of Our Troops 3
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops3.html
Proud Of Our Troops 4
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops4.html
Proud Of Our Troops 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops5.html
Proud Of Our Troops 6
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops6.html
Ray's Freedom Rock!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedomrock.html
Rolling Memorial 9-11
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/trucking.html
Semper Fidelis
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/semperfi.html
USS New York LPD-21 Tribute
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ussny.html
War Pics: Daily
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily.html
War Pics: Daily 2
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily2.html
War Pics: Daily 3
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/daily3.html
War Pics: Sleepy?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/sleep.html
War Pics: Humor 1
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor.html
War Pics: Humor 2
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor2.html
War Pics: Humor 3
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor3.html
War Pics: Humor 4
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/humor4.html
Where Was God?
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/where.html
Why My Son?
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/why.html
-<>-
>-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :)
This too hot to handle one comes from our friends Linda
and PatDeE. It has so many neat home decorating ideas, you
won't want to miss it! Give it time to load and check it
out here...
,--..._
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_./`-. `-' __/|
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`-. `"--.__.'`|J / /SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssss.._
_/ _ () | ! {._ / YS
!__./ \ | / /.-.\SSSss...__ __.=P
/ `""--.__!' :| |:`"""""^^SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSP^^"" \
:`""""-----------..........!!_!!______ \
! `"""""""""--------....._____:
`"""""""""""----------........._________ |
`"""""""------......______!
fsc
Thoughts Into Action 5!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action5.html
---
...Fun design ideas! Thanks Linda and PatDeE!
-<>-
>AN UPDATED PAGE From Our Friend LouiseA :)
She gave our story a moral so this page has been
updated with it here...
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Bear Rescue
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrescue.html
---
...TeeHee! So True! Thanks LouiseA!
=======================================================
>-->From TheFunnyBone: Unusual Job Applicant Behavior
We've all been interviewed for jobs. And, we've all spent most of
those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don't bite your
nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't belch. If we did any
of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify ourselves instantly. But some
job applicants go light years beyond this.
We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American
corporations and asked for stories of unusual behavior by job
applicants.
The low lights:
1. "... stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application."
2. "She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music
at the same time."
3. "A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office
a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."
4. "... asked to see interviewer's resume to see if the personnel
executive was qualified to judge the candidate."
5. "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a
hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office - wiping
the ketchup on her sleeve."
.-----.
6. "Stated that, if he were hired, / '. ' .\
he would demonstrate his loyalty |_.__'_.|}
by having the corporate logo (=(_)^(_)=)
tattooed on his forearm." ;, > ,;
;;;~~~;;;
7. "Interrupted to phone his therapist ___.';;;;;'.__
for advice on answering specific /'`\ `\ /` /`'\
interview questions." / | | | | \
jgs( | |\_/| | @~ )
8. "When I asked him about his | | | | | |
hobbies, he stood up and | /| | | |\ |
started tap dancing around \ || | | || /
my office." ( || | | || )
| || |___| || |
9. "At the end of the interview, \ ||___|[_]|___O| /
while I stood there dumb struck, | | / \O| |
went through my purse, took out
a brush, brushed his hair, and left."
10. "... pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of
me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him."
11. "Said he wasn't interested because the position paid too much."
12. "While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took
out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only,
stopping longest at the centerfold."
13. "During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the
candidate's brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologized
and said he had to leave for another interview."
14. "A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his
wife. His side of the conversation went like this:
"Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?"
I said, "I assume you're not interested in conducting the
interview any further." He promptly responded, "I am as long as
you'll pay me more. "I didn't hire him, but later found out
there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher
offer."
15. "His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents
spilled, revealing ladies' undergarments and assorted makeup
and perfume."
16. "Candidate said he really didn't want to get a job, but the
unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one."
17. "... asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my
desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now
and wanted my phone number. I called security."
(
18. "Pointing to a black case he __________ )\
carried into my office, he said / /\______{,}
that if he was not hired, the jgs \_________\/
bomb would go off. Disbelieving,
I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was
going to call the police. He then reached down to the case,
flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to
get a new desk."
=======================================================
_,-""`""-~`)
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+------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+
September 9 is Teddy Bear Day
September 10 is Swap Ideas Day
September 11 is No News Is Good News Day
September 12 is National Pet Memorial Day and National Chocolate
Milkshake Day
September 13 is Defy Superstition Day
September 14 is National Cream-filled Donut Day
September 15 is Felt Hat Day
=======================================================
>-->From GoodCleanFun:
\\\///
\(..)/
( _> )
_/'--/_
/^ _ _ `\
.' / \ )
| \' '//
,, < < | | \ ,,
||, `. \\ . /, \ ,||
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||^ /`:----/\ `||
`` ( \ / \ ``
| /`^\ |
| | | |
| / \ |
/ `| |^ \
| / \ |
| | | |
/ \ | \
gnv .oooO LOoo
>Exercise
I'm not into exercising.
Yesterday my wife said, "Let's walk around the block."
I said, "Why? We're already here."
-<>-
>Not at Work
When I phoned my employee to find out why she hadn't come to the
office, I expected to hear a sob story about how sick she was, blah,
blah, blah. Instead, her excuse was pretty plausible.
"When I was driving to work, I took a wrong turn," she explained. "And
then I just decided to keep going."
-<>-
>New Car
The husband, a computer-systems troubleshooter by profession, rode with
his wife in her new car one afternoon. He had been working on a
customer's computer all morning and was still tense from the session.
When she stopped for a traffic light, she made sure to leave a safe
distance from the stop line to keep oncoming drivers from hitting the
car.
She couldn't help but laugh when he impatiently waved at her to move
the car forward while saying, "Scroll up, honey."
-<>-
>Nice Try
My husband's uncle thought he had conquered his problem of trying to
remember his wife's birthday and, also, their anniversary. He opened an
account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and
instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an
appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went
well until one day when he came home he saw a bouquet, kissed his wife
and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"
-<>-
>Supermarket Cart
A young man noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the
supermarket parking lot.
Trying to be courteous, he insisted on pushing it for her as she
struggled alongside, doing her best to keep up.
At the store entrance, he said, "Here you go, Ma'am," and gave her the
cart.
Catching her breath, she said, "Thank you, but I was using it to lean
on."
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend LouiseA :)
This can be spookily accurate!!
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cjr \\ (
10mar02 >\ >
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<'
>Feng shui horoscope
This is a Chinese Feng Shui horoscope. If you are honest this tells the
truth. Write your answers on paper.
To find your Feng Shui horoscope scroll down.
1. Which is your favorite color: Red, Black, Blue, Green or Yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, Black or White?
5. The name of a person that is the same gender as you?
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a Lake or the Ocean more?
9. Write down a Wish (a realistic one)
When you are done, scroll down. Don't cheat!
.
.
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.
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.
.
.
Answers:
1. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love affection.
Yellow: You are a very happy person & give good advice to those who are
down.
2. If your initial is between:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to live your life to the max & your love life is soon to
bloom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future looks very bright.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that
you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-Jun: You will have a strong love relationship that will last
forever.
Jul-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your life will be great; you will find your soul mate.
4. If you choose:
Black: Your life is about to get better. You are more than ready for
the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5 This person should be your Best Friend.
6. This is how many close friends you will have in your life time.
7. If you choose:
California : You like adventure.
Florida : You are a laid back person.
8. If you choose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover. You are very
reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true if you send this to 1 person in one hour.
Send this to ten people and it will come true before your next birthday.
---
...Not happening - TeeHee! But, This was a fun one! Thanks LouiseA!
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend Geniann :)
\_/
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'-0-'
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\_/
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jgs .-0-.
>Ant Killer Tip
What's so cool about this is, it took them 2 minutes to find it and 5
minutes to fill up like the pic ! W...ow
1 empty water bottle
(Cut it down to about 2" tall)
5 Tbsp of baking soda
5 Tbsp of sugar
3 Tbsp of water. (dry works buy I used real sugar.)
The very best way of eliminating ants is truly simple:
Take a small amount of powdered sugar (also called icing sugar) and mix
it with an equal amount of baking soda (formally called sodium
bicarbonate)
Powdered sugar is essential. You cannot use the larger grains of sugar
for this..
Mix the two powders together and then place small amounts against the
walls or other areas where you would not normally walk but where you
would normally see the ants.
The ants will be attracted to the sugar and will eat some of it and
collect more to take home to feed others, so all of them will get their
share.
The sugar and baking soda powders are similar in size and, once mixed
together, the ants cannot separate the two items, so, as they eat the
sugar, they will also ingest the baking soda, which they would
otherwise never touch. This is the reason for using powdered sugar.
Once the ants eat the baking soda it will react with the formic acid in
their stomachs and cause gas. The bodies of ants are unlike humans and
they cannot eliminate gas so it will build up inside them and cause
them to literally explode.
SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE SHARE
---
...Great Tip! Thanks Geniann!
-<>-
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An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and
three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily
passes an aptitude test.
The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum
wage of $6.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can
get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the
forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first
day."
Taken back, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer
nor an e-mail address.
To this the manager replies, "You must understand that to a company
like ours that means that you virtually do not exist. Without an e-mail
address you can hardly expect to be employed by a high-tech firm. Good
day."
Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having $10 in
his wallet, he walks past a farmers' market and sees a stand selling 25
lb. crates of beautiful red tomatoes. He buys a crate, carries it to a
busy corner and displays the tomatoes. In less than 2 hours he sells
all the tomatoes and makes 100% profit. Repeating the process several
times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 and arrives home that
night with several bags of groceries for his family.
During the night he decides to repeat the tomato business the next day.
By the end of the week he is getting up early every day and working
into the night. He multiplies his profits quickly.
Early in the second week he acquires a cart to transport several boxes
of tomatoes at a time, but before a month is up he sells the cart to
buy a broken-down pickup truck.
At the end of a year, he owns three old trucks. His two sons have left
their neighborhood gangs to help him with the tomato business, his wife
is buying the tomatoes, and his daughter is taking night courses at the
community college so she can keep books for him.
By the end of the second year he has a dozen very nice used trucks and
employs fifteen previously unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. He
continues to work hard.
Time passes and at the end of the fifth year he owns a fleet of nice
trucks and a warehouse that his wife supervises, plus two tomato farms
that the boys manage. The tomato company's payroll has put hundreds of
homeless and jobless people to work. His daughter reports that the
business grossed over one million dollars.
Planning for the future, he decides to buy some life insurance.
Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit
his new circumstances. Then the adviser asks him for his e-mail address
in order to send the final documents electronically.
When the man replies that he doesn't have time to mess with a computer
and has no e-mail address, the insurance man is stunned, "What, you
don't have e-mail? No computer? No Internet? Just think where you would
be today if you'd had all of that five years ago!"
"Ha!" snorts the man. "If I'd had e-mail five years ago I would be
sweeping floors at Microsoft and making $6.35 an hour."
Which brings us to the moral of the story: Since you got this story by
e-mail, you're probably closer to being a janitor than a millionaire.
Sadly, I received it also.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend GloriaB :)
,-~***~-._.-~***~-.
/ \
/ .--~~~--..--~~~--. \
,' /._,/\._,/\._,/\._,\ `.
~-. \.-~ .-~ // ,-~
\/ ,* / ,* // / the R O L L I N G S T O N E S
/ ,**' / ,*'// /
/,***' / ,**'// /
/,***' / ,**'// /
/ ***' / ,***'// /
: ~** ` ,***'/.-~
| **' /
\ .'
~-.. ..-~ -Artist Unknown
~~~~~
>Homonyms vs Heteronyms
For you wordsmiths…
Homonyms are words of like spelling but with more than one meaning. A
homonym that is also pronounced differently is a heteronym:
You think English is easy??
I think a retired English teacher was bored...THIS IS GREAT!
Read all the way to the end.................
This took a lot of work to put together!
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture..
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groceand hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't
the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the
English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes
off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any
other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the
list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is
it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warmUPthe
leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and
think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in
the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of
the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to
it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It
will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may
wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP, so.......it is time to shut UP!
Now it's entirely UP to you what you do with this email
---
...LOL! Love This! Thanks GloriaB!
======================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
>From BizarreNews:
I have heard of some extreme ways and some extreme things
people have smuggled into jails. And I'm not talking about
the old "file baked into a cake" either. I saw a video of
a woman passing a baggie full of drugs to an inmate via an
open mouth kiss during a visit. But that is child's play
compared to what this gentleman pulled off.
A loaded gun was found inside an inmate's rectum after he
allegedly bragged to other inmates about his feat. Authorities
say Mark Gregory Valadez somehow managed to avoid a metal
detector because of a high volume of bookings at the jail over
the weekend. He instead got a pat-down, which obviously was
not enough.
"A pat-down will not reveal a Derringer firearm that is
secreted in a body cavity," Sheriff John Whetsel said.
When asked how Valadez could get a gun in his rectum,
Oklahoma County Sheriff John Whetsel said: "'Keistering' is
what they call it; they take whatever it is and up the hole
she goes."
After bragging to inmates, Valadez was searched and the
firearm was found. I'm not sure I would brag about something
like that. He now is facing felony count of possession of
contraband in a penal institution.
*-- Mummy found in German attic may be 2,000 years old --*
VERDEN, Germany - Authorities in Germany said a 10-year-old
boy rummaging in an attic discovered a mummy estimated to
be 2,000 years old. Lutz Gaebel, spokesman for the public
prosecutor in Verden, said Lutz Wolfgang Kettler called
police after his 10-year-old son found the mummy in an
old chest that belonged to his grandfather, The Local.de
reported Thursday. Kettler said the chest has been in the
family's attic for decades, since his own father had it
shipped home while he was traveling in North Africa in the
1950s. "Initial forensic medical examinations suggest it
could be around 2,000 years old," Gaebel said of the mummy.
"It will be at least another six weeks before we are sure.
But should this estimate be confirmed, it will certainly
lead to the end of any investigation we conduct into the
death."
*-- Rhode Island man sues churches over bell ringing --*
NARRAGANSETT, R.I. - A Rhode Island man's lawsuit against
two churches near his home alleges their bell ringing
disrupts his life and contributed to the breakdown of his
marriage. John Devaney, 64, of Narragansett, filed a U.S.
District Court lawsuit against the St. Thomas More Catholic
Parish and St. Peters by-the-Sea Episcopal Church, alleging
bells ringing at the churches have violated his rights and
denied him the "peaceful enjoyment of his property," The
Providence (R.I.) Journal reported Thursday. Devaney, who
is acting as his own attorney, alleges the ringing bells
have left him irritable and led to arguments that
contributed to the ending of his marriage. The lawsuit
names Attorney General Peter Kilmartin, Diocese of
Providence Bishop Thomas J. Tobin, Archbishop Carlo
Maria Vigano, Pope Francis and St. Peters by-the-Sea
administrator Linda O'Neill as defendants.
=========================================================
>-->From Our Friend KarenF :)
Since most of the ones receiving this e-mail are all members of this
GREAT BRIGADE, I think you will like this one! Read & pass along if
you agree, please!
___
(___)
/` `\
/ /"\ \
\_/o o\_/
( _ )
`\ /`
/\\V//\
/ /_ _\ \
\ \___/ /
\/===\/
|| ||
|| ||
||___||
|_____|
jgs |||
/ Y \
`"`"`
>Gray-Haired Brigade
They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in
some cases dinosaurs. Some of us are "Baby Boomers" getting ready to
retire. Others have been retired for some time. We walk a little
slower these days and our eyes and hearing are not what they once
were. We have worked hard, raised our children, worshipped our God and
grown old together. Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over
the hill, and that is probably true. But before writing us off
completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into
consideration.
In school we studied English, history, math, and science which enabled
us to lead America into the technological age. Most of us remember
what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience. We remember
the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice
being delivered to our homes. For those of you who don't know what an
icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators. A
few even remember when cars were started with a crank. Yes, we lived
those days.
We are probably considered old fashioned and out-dated by many. But
there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing
us off. We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam . We can
quote The Pledge of Allegiance, and know where to place our hand while
doing so. We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many
friends on the battlefield. We didn't fight for the Socialist States of
America ; we fought for the Land of the Free and the Home of the
Brave." We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag. We know
the words to the Star Spangled Banner, America,and America the
Beautiful by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our
cheeks as we sing. We have lived what many of you have only read in
history books and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for
America.
Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least
one good fight left in us. We have loved this country, fought for it,
and died for it, and now we are going to save it. It is our country
and nobody is going to take it away from us. We took oaths to defend
America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath
we plan to keep. There are those who want to destroy this land we love
but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.
It was mostly the young people of this nation who elected Obama and the
Democratic Congress. You fell for the "Hope and Change" which in
reality was nothing but "Hype and Lies." You have tasted socialism and
seen evil face to face, and have found you don't like it after all.
You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their
careers or "Climbing the Social Ladder" to be involved in such mundane
things as patriotism and voting. Many of those who fell for the "Great
Lie" in 2008 are now having buyer's remorse. With all the education we
gave you, you didn't have sense enough to see through the lies and
instead drank the 'Kool-Aid.' Now you're paying the price and
complaining about it. No jobs, lost mortgages, higher taxes, and less
freedom. This is what you voted for and this is what you got. We
entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty and you traded it for a
paycheck and a fancy house.
Well, don't worry youngsters, the Gray-Haired Brigade is here, and in
2012 we are going to take back our nation. We may drive a little
slower than you would like but we get where we're going, and November
6th we're going to the polls by the millions. This land does not
belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi
and Harry Reid. It belongs to We the People" and "We the People" plan
to reclaim our land and our freedom. We hope this time you will do a
better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.
So the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance,
Stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank
God for the old geezers of the "Gray-Haired Brigade."
Author, Anon. Gray-Haired Brigade Member
---
...Really Great! Thanks KarenF!
===============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
My husband was once employed in the printing division of a
large manufacturing firm. One morning, word came from the
top that some visiting VIPs would be touring the plant in
just a few minutes. All production was immediately shut down
as employees scrambled to quickly tidy up the work place.
When the appointed lookout yelled, "Here they come!" fifty
fingers that were poised over fifty machine start-up buttons
pressed down in unison and blew every fuse in the building.
-<>-
_________
_________ _,.,-----''''---..
_,--' '-.. __
___________ _,' '-."+_
.-"""+.-' .- ___.' \
L )-.__ _/---"""""' .-'\`\
__ `-..-' """"---------""(____ ___.-'\ \\ \ \
/ .:----'\___\ \_\ |/_/
_.---. ( :" _ ( `\ ( \_.\
__________ / `--.'.==< . `G \.\`'/`.
________ __ ______ ( \_.--/ '/ |
/_ __/____/ /_ ____ ____\ _a8a._/_.---:-..`,+| ' ,'
/ / / ___/ __ \/ __ \/ __ \`---'_ _ \|'('|| ,-'.
/ / (__ ) / / / /_/ / /_/ /__ _/_)_ _,+'|.;' /.:::.
/_/ /____/_/ /_/\____/\____/ _ _`-:-=_/`---;',/|\|' ,-'.:::::
_______ ` _ -,/://:|/|_/.|,/++/\--'.:::::::'
_________ ` _\.,-';'),;//(_+:|:,_+.:'.::::::::::'
- :./-;/'=\,;/.',|;|','/'/.:::::::::::'
-,-/','/;|;,'//,,/|'/:/-.::::::::::::'
- : -/'/'/',';:/,|,//:+'|',:::::::::::::'
_.-,,/-//.=,'/:'|//+;-.::::::::::::::'
/';_'-'/:/ ;'|-::::::::::::::::::'
_+..::':::/:::::::::::::::::::::::::'
.:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::'
.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::'
.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
.:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
''''''::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
''''::::::::::::::::a:f::::'
Ten Common Full-Time Employee Illness
1. The Macy's One Day Sale Flu.
2. The Drivers License Renewal Appointment 24-Hour Virus.
3. The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early Sudden
Unbearable Stomach Pains.
4. The I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long
It's Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll
Until Then Mysterious Infection.
5. The My Boyfriend's Got the Week Off So Suddenly I'm Too
Contagious To Come In To The Office Disease.
6. The I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn't Make Evening
Appointments Bout of Influenza.
7. The There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want
a Day Off Sickness.
8. The It's Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I'm a Teenager
Again General Ailment.
9. The I've Messed Up Royally and I Won't Come In To Face the
Music Terminal Illness.
10. The I Really Am Sick and I've Got The Doctor's Bills and
the Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove
It Infirmity.
-<>-
Hey, since we're now living in the time of e-mail and the more
common use of the written language, it is time for an English
lesson.
..... .....
.:' ''::::::'' ':.
.:' ':.
:' bitter ':
: :
:. .:
': :'
: :
:.sour sour.:
': :'
:. .:
': :'
:.salt salt.:
':. .:'
':. .:'
':. sweet.:'
':. .:'
''''
(James Mitchelhill
So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are some rules to keep
in mind when using the Queen's Engerlish:
1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).
6. Always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary.
9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad
too.
11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary;
it's highly superfluous.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical
words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose
earth shattering ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when
its not needed.
27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me
what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:
resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it
correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
-<>-
.-. \ /
( ( | - * -
'-` -+- / \
\ o _|_ \
)) }^{ /___\ ))
.-#-----. /|\ .---'-'---. .-#-----.
___ /_________\ //|\\ /___________\ /_________\
/___\ |[] _ []| //|\\ | A /^\ A | |[] _ []| _.O,_
....|"#"|.| |*| |...///|\\\...| |"| |....| |*| |..(^).... ldb
"Here In Static Equilibrium" (sung to "Winter Wonderland")
All my movements have cancelled,
Sum of forces is equal,
I'm fully inert, and doing no work,
Here in static equilibrium.
Every push meets another,
Every pull has a counter.
The state I allude is true lassitude,
Here in static equilibrium.
All my forces balance out exactly,
You can even put me to the test.
Push me out in any old direction,
And you'll find I'll no longer be at rest.
Can't you see that I'm happy?
Sitting here, calm and mellow.
Don't want to go home, so leave me alone.
Here in static equilibrium.
-<>-
Things To Say and Do If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your
Desk At Work
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved
about in that time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the whiteout. You
probably got here just in time!"
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission
statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward
people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a
solution to our biggest problem."
3. "The coffee machine is broken..."
2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at
your desk.
1. " ...... AMEN!"
=========================================================
>-->From The MouthPiece:
,-.
_,. / /
; \____,-==-._ )
//_ `----' {+>
` `'--/ /-'`(
/ /
dew `='
>Top Ten Signs You Have a Bad Travel Agent
10. Hotel stay is six days and two nights
9. Accepts payment in the form of personal check, credit
card or freshly harvested kidneys
8. Won't let you go on vacation for more than a week
because he'll miss you
7. When you're in New York, he recommends you see a taping
of "The Late Show"
6. Instead of the Ritz, you're staying at the Ratz
5. Your "plane ticket" is a post-it note with the hand-
written message "Please admit one to the airplane"
4. You have a layover at Laguardia Airport... an eight-day
layover
3. No number 3 — writer on vacation
2. Forget the restroom — you're riding in a JetBlue wheel
well
1. Asks you to deliver a brown paper bag to a guy named
Nikoli
-<>-
mathemagician
1+1=2 /\
\ c")
;-/\>
||
kOs
You Might Be a Physics Student If...
* you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
* you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do
long division.
* you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
* you've actually used every single function on your graph-
ing calculator.
* you always do homework on Friday nights.
* you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the
derivative of water.
* you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
* you hesitate to look at something because you don't want
to break down its wave function.
* you have a pet named after a scientist.
* you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
* you can translate English into binary.
* you can't remember what's behind the science-building door
that says "Exit."
* you have to bring a jacket with you in the middle of
summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
* you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
* when your professor asks you where your homework is, you
claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so
precisely that, according to Heisenberg, it could be anywhere
in the universe.
* you assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make
the math easier.
* you understood more than five of these indicators.
* you made a hard copy of this list and posted it on your
door.
==========================================================
>-->FUN Places To Net Visit :)
Texas Outhouse Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/outhouse.html
Wave Photography Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/waveart.html
Wild Bear Release!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bearrelease.html
Best Bed Positions!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bed.html
Tour Inside Of Google
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/insidegoogle.html
Chinese Wal-Mart!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chinawalmart.html
We've All Been There!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbox.html
Cat In a Box!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catinbox.html
Just Thinking!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html
Ford's First RV!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/firstrv.html
Houses For Hermits!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/house.html
You Are The Only You God Has
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/onlyyougodhas.html
-<>-
>From Our Friend PatDeE :)
[Politics]
Maureen Scott column
Our Pledge of Allegiance, a military band playing the National Anthem,
and the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, inspire her passion and views.
Her life is guided by a firm belief that truth is the most important
virtue, and that God knows what He is doing with her.
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/scott
---
...I like this site - Lots of good reading here - thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Linda ;)
Rotary Engine! 1906 Adams-Farwell at Pebble Beach Concours d'
http://tinyurl.com/oehutqc
---
...Pretty neat! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
>From Our Friend LouiseA :)
She sent us an easy fudge recipe we have here...
Easy Fudge - (CHOC/PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE)
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/easy.html
---
...I love this recipe! easy and Perfect every time! Thanks LouiseA!
-<>-
Gonna Git That Mouse........With A Gun!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=iogs8TPz_jQ
The Magic Beard Man is Ben Garvin and as you'll see he never let's a
good beard go to waste in this fun and entertaining video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEYCPc9P-Q0&feature=player_detailpage
How to amuse older people
http://img0.liveinternet.ru/images/attach/c/5/3970/3970473_sprite198.swf
---
...TeeHee! Yeppers! It works for me! Thanks LouiseA!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Wesley :)
cold comfort
http://tinyurl.com/2edrccg
ancient scripts
http://tinyurl.com/924m3w
---
...Wow, pretty cool! Thanks Wesley!
-<>-
>From Our Friend Melody :)
Fun Trivia Quizzes - World's Largest Trivia and Quiz Site!
http://www.funtrivia.com/
Lifespan Calculator
http://media.nmfn.com/tnetwork/lifespan/#0
Snake Charmer Prank
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NS6mZL8Ktw&feature=related
---
...LOL! Thanks Melody!
=========================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"Ladies and gentlemen, before we begin, a special announcement
- the National Security Alert has now been lowered back down
to 'elevated'. Have you got that? It's been lowered to
'elevated'. I hope that clears up any confusion." --Jay Leno
"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong." --Wolfgang Pauli
(1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper
"My father would say things that made no sense at all, like,
'If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn
left in front of me.'" --Louie Anderson
CLARENCE: "I was just thinking of a flaming rum punch. No,
it's not cold enough for that. Not nearly cold enough... Wait
a minute . . . wait a minute . . . I got it. Mulled wine,
heavy on the cinnamon and light on the cloves. Off with you,
me lad, and be lively!"
NICK: "Hey, look mister, we serve hard drinks in here for men
who want to get drunk fast. And we don't need any characters
around to give the joint atmosphere. Is that clear? Or do I
have to slip you my left for a convincer?"
--IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE
"Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit
in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?"
--Unknown
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten
and his present remembered. What I don't like about office
Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
--Phyllis Diller
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to
make an exception."
- Groucho Marx
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN
HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class
http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61
NEW LIFE IN CHRIST!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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