Hot Time ... :) Shangy! >-->HEALTH ALERT - - NEW Botulism Warning Issued - - Visit Here for details: http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=229&z=7 --PLEASE PASS THIS ON--- .....NOW BACK TO Our Regularly Scheduled SMILES.... >-->A Reminder... Make sure that your browser is set to a fixed-width font such as Courier or Fixed-Sys. Otherwise, this ASCII Art may look skewed. [Check your Welcome Message or email me] If the below two lines are the same length, then your browser is fine: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Or you may View the on-line SMILES text Here: (You may Have to REFRESH your browser) http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html This Weeks regular Shangy emails ================================================================== >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) A SPECIAL W E L C O M E To All Our New Yahoo Group Members! Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net -<>- (( ) ( ( ( )(( ( ) ) ) ( )) )( (( ) ( ((( ) ( ) ) ) )) (( ) ( (( ( )) ) ____ ____ ) ) ( ) `|<();|-|,()>| Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press! ( ))( `--' \`--' )( ( ) (- ) ) )) _____ / ) ` -- / _ , ` __, , -- ---'// / / / \ / / \ \ /| \ /| / /`. | / / `. | /\/ `. ejm |/ | ' | | This one you have to SEE to believe and then you'll still wonder if it is real or not! [But it is REAL!] Volvo Lego Car http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/legocar.html -<>- >July has past and in it's wake were all these New FUN Pages: Freedom Isn't Free! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/freedom.html Whale Rescue! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whalerescue.html Amazing Car Show! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/carshow.html Newborn Baby Moose! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html Kids Being Kids! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/kids.html Ice Hotel! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/icehotel.html Veggie Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/veggie.html Freaky Art Vans! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/artvan.html Love Test: You Have 6 Minutes! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lovetest.html EARTH In Perspective! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/earth.html A Heart Felt - THANKS - To all our members who made these pages possible by sharing them with us! --> BE SURE TO VIST ALL OF THESE AND SHARE THEM!! <-- ================================================================ >-->From The FunnyBone: /\ A man answers the phone and has the following || conversation: || || || "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Nancy || has been most difficult - I know I ought _______|| to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, /` `\ you know how she is." | .-"""-. | | / .:::. \ | "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember | \ ':::' / | you told me that she was a vile creature | '-----' | who would make my life miserable and you | .-"""""-. | begged me not to marry her." | |_______| | | [_][_][_] | "You were perfectly right. You want to | [_] [] [] | speak with her? All right." | [1][2][3] | | [4][5][6] | He looks up from the telephone and calls | [7][8][9] | to his wife in the next room, "Nancy, your | [*][0][#] | mother wants to talk to you!" | ... | jgs\ ':::' / `"""""""""` +------------- Bizarre National Superstitions -------------+ In Iceland, an unmarried person who sits at the corner of a table won't marry for seven years. A pregnant woman who drinks from a cracked cup risks having a baby with a hare- lip. In Japan, picking up a comb with its teeth facing your body brings bad luck. In Malta, churches with two towers are fitted with a clock face in each but the two clocks always tell different times to confuse the Devil about the time of the service. In Nigeria, a man hit with a broom becomes impotent unless he retaliates seven times with the same broom. Sweeping a house at night brings misfortune to the occupants. In Poland, bringing lilac into the house is a sure sign of impending death. In Scotland, red and green should never be worn together. It is unlucky to throw vegetables on to the fire and to carry a spade through the house. This means that a grave will soon be dug. And three swans flying together means a national disaster is imminent. In Holland, people with red hair bring bad luck. In China, sweeping out a house removes all the good luck, especially on Chinese New Year. ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Betty :) _ \`*-. ) _`-. . : `. . : _ ' \ ; *` _. `*-._ `-.-' `-. ; ` `. :. . \ . \ . : .-' . ' `+.; ; ' : : ' | ; ;-. ; ' : :`-: _.`* ; [bug] .*' / .*' ; .*`- +' `*' `*-* `*-* `*-*' >The Pastor's Cat This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just amuses me no end. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in your day. Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor? . . Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "bowing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air -out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. HHe walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business. A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?" She replied, "You won't believe this," and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it. "She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her." . Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor. --- ...Wonderful! Thanks Betty! =================================================================== >-->Hot Time - - From McSWEENEY'S ( . ) ) ( ) . ' . ' . ' . ( , ) (. ) ( ', ) .' ) ( . ) , ( , ) ( . ). , ( . ( ) ( , ') .' ( , ) (_,) . ), ) _) _,') (, ) '. ) ,. (' ) jgs^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It's SOoooooo HOT ... It was so hot, Pamela Anderson got in her car and immediately lowered all the windows while the a/c kicked in. It was so hot, Patsy Ramsey sat on her couch, doing nothing. It was so hot, Loni Anderson spent the day by the pool. It was so hot, Boris Yeltsin made three calls to the office of the International Monetary Fund, had a sandwich, and took a nap. It was so hot, Gary Busey devoured two grams of cocaine and called a waiter, "Mister brother." It was so hot, a representative at the United Nations wasted an entire day staring at the Pepsi sign and thinking, "What name will she use to bill my credit card?" It was so hot, an American aircraft carrier took up station in the Red Sea, within striking distance of Iraq's southern no-fly zone. It was so hot, after a game, members of a men's softball team chose to remember a few good plays and forget their many mistakes. It was so hot, students at an unaccredited film school finally signed for cameras and took to the streets to express their unique visions. It was so hot, two nurses made morbid jokes that nearby patients could hear, and the patients couldn't tell if the nurses thought they couldn't hear, or if they just didn't care. It was so hot, a fly-fisherman planned to release a big trout after taking its picture, but when he couldn't find the camera, he killed the trout to show it to his girlfriend. It was so hot, a mediocre talent got his big break by refusing to give up, and his talented but lazier friend felt pierced by jealousy, and started thinking up ways to tell him that he only succeeded because he doesn't know how bad he really is. It was so hot, a woman waiting for the subway imagined jumping down onto the track bed, hopping over the electric rails, and climbing up on the far platform. Then she wondered if anyone watching would be impressed. After a moment, she decided that yes, they would be impressed. For more Visit Here: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/1999/07/30punchlines.html ====================================================================== >-->From Our Friend Steve :) >Musings: Shhhhhhhh 1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written An impressive new book. It's called ....... "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."* 2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink And be Mary. 3. The difference between the Pope and Your boss, the Pope only expects you To kiss his ring.* .-~*~--,. .-. .-~-. ./OOOOOOOOO\.'OOO`9~~-. .`OOOOOO.OOM.OLSONOOOOO@@OOOOOO\ /OOOO@@@OO@@@OO@@@OOO@@@@@@@@OOOO`. |OO@@@WWWW@@@@OOWWW@WWWW@@@@@@@OOOO). .-'OO@@@@WW@@@W@WWWWWWWWOOWW@@@@@OOOOOO} /OOO@@O@@@@W@@@@@OOWWWWWOOWOO@@@OOO@@@OO| lOOO@@@OO@@@WWWWWWW\OWWWO\WWWOOOOOO@@@O.' \OOO@@@OOO@@@@@@OOW\ \WWWW@@@@@@@O'. `,OO@@@OOOOOOOOOOWW\ \WWWW@@@@@@OOO) \,O@@@@@OOOOOOWWWWW\ \WW@@@@@OOOO.' `~c~8~@@@@WWW@@W\ \WOO|\UO-~' (OWWWWWW@/\W\ ___\WO) `~-~'' \ \WW=*' __\ \ \ \ \ __\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \\ \\ \ 4. My mind works like lightning, One brilliant Flash and it is gone.* 5. The only time the world beats a path to Your door is if you're in the bathroom. 6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and That ice, well, it really chilled the mood. 7. It used to be only death and taxes Were inevitable. Now, of course, there's Shipping and handling, too. 8.. A husband is someone who, after taking The trash out, gives the impression that He just cleaned the whole house. 9. My next house will have no kitchen - just Vending machines and a large trash can. 10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my Mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." 11. My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found Him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and He didn't have to worry about a Will. He Said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list Of the people I want to bite. 12. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment...for enjoying sex. 13. As you slide down the banister of life, may The splinters never point the wrong way.* -<>- ,-~~-.___. / | ' \ Things I have learned.... ( ) 0 \_/-, ,----' ==== // / \-'~; /~~~(O) / __/~| / | =( _____| (_________| W< GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD: 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. -<>- .M .:AMMO: .:AMMMMMHIIIHMMM. .... .AMMMMMMMMMMMHHHMHHMMMML:AMF" .:MMMMMLAMMMMMMMHMMMMMMHHIHHIIIHMMMML. "WMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH:::::HMMMMMMHII:. .AMMMMMMMHHHMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHMMMMMMMMMAMMMHHHHL. .MMMMMMMMMMHHMMMMMMMMHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMHTWMHHHHHML .MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHMHMMHHHHIII:::HMHHHHMM. .MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHMHHHHHHIIIIIIIIHMHHHHHM. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHMMHHHHHIIIHHH::IIHHII:::::IHHHHHHHL "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHIIIHMMMMHHIIHHLI::IIHHHHIIIHHHHHHHHML .MMMMMMMMMMMMMM"WMMMHHHMMMMMMMMMMMLHHHMMMMMMHHHHHHHHHHH .MMMMMMMMMMMWWMW ""YYHMMMMMMMMMMMMF""HMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHH. .MMMMMMMMMM W" V W"WMMMMMHHHHHHHHHH "MMMMMMMMMM". "WHHHMH"HHHHHHL MMMMMMMMMMF . IHHHHH. MMMMMMMMMM . . HHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMF. . . . HHHHHHH. MMMMMMMMM . ,AWMMMMML. .. . . HHHHHHH. :MMMMMMMMM". . F"' 'WM:. ,::HMMA, . . HHHHMMM :MMMMMMMMF. . ." WH.. AMM"' " . . HHHMMMM MMMMMMMM . . ,;AAAHHWL".. .:' HHHHHHH MMMMMMM:. . . -MK"OTO L :I.. ...:HMA-. "HHHHHH ,:IIIILTMMMMI::. L,,,,. ::I.. .. K"OTO"ML 'HHHHHH LHT::LIIIIMMI::. . '""'.IHH:.. .. :.,,,, ' HMMMH: HLI' "IIITMII::. . .IIII. . '"""" ' MMMFT:::. HML:::WMIINMHI:::.. . .:I. . . . . ' .M"'.....I. "HWHINWI:.'.HHII::.. .HHI .II. . . . . :M.',, ..I: "MLI"ML': :HHII::... MMHHL ::::: . :.. .'.'.'HHTML.II: "MMLIHHWL:IHHII::....:I:" :MHHWHI:...:W,," '':::. ..' ":.HH:II: "MMMHITIIHHH:::::IWF" """T99"' '"" '.':II:..'.'..' I'.HHIHI' YMMHII:IHHHH:::IT.. . . ... . . ''THHI::.'.' .;H.""."H" HHII:MHHI"::IWWL . . . . . HH"HHHIIHHH":HWWM" """ MMHI::HY""ML, ... . .. :" :HIIIIIILTMH" MMHI:.' 'HL,,,,,,,,..,,,......,:" . ''::HH "HWW 'MMH:.. . 'MMML,: """MM""""MMM" .'.IH'"MH" "MMHL.. .. "MMMMMML,MM,HMMMF . .IHM" "MMHHL .. "MMMMMMMMMMMM" . . '.IHF' 'MMMML .. "MMMMMMMM" . .'HMF HHHMML. .'MMF" IHHHHHMML. .'HMF" HHHHHHITMML. .'IF.. "HHHHHHIITML,. ..:F... 'HHHHHHHHHMMWWWWWW::"...... HHHHHHHMMMMMMF"'........ HHHHHHHHHH............ HHHHHHHH........... HHHHIII.......... HHIII.......... HII......... "H........ W H A T - - M E W O R R Y ? I am pleased to announce the world is full of borderline clinically insane people. (I don't feel so lonely all of a sudden:) --- ...Yeah - especially when you figure that the top legal drugs sold in the US aren't for pain, colds, anti-biotics, or for any disease. Nope! The top legal drugs sold in the US are antidepressants - - - shows you why we need these SMILES so much :) -<>- Here's some cute bunny pictures! http://grantsemporium.blogspot.com/ --- ...Nice! Thanks Steve! ==================================================================== >-->From our Friends at DailyBread :) === (`\,;+++;,/`) (- (((^.^))) -) (- ))\-/(( -) (- (() ()) -) \ `/`@`\` / \ / \ / \/ \/ / \ /_/_/_|_\_\_\ ldb JOIN OUR MAILING LIST! dailybreadexpress@yahoo.com Daily Bread thought you might enjoy checking out this photo on MySpace.com! You don't have to join MySpace.com to view the photo. Just use the link below. http://collect.myspace.com/reloc.cfm?c=18&fuseaction=viewImage&imageID=8210729&friendID=154961668&id= ==================================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From our Friend Bob :) This is a shocker and why we are having trouble in Iraq. Visit here for Bob's forward and Snopes review of it: http://www.snopes.com/photos/politics/muslimprotest.asp ...Very interesting! Thanks Bob! -<>- >Another very Interesting reading comes from Grassfire: ...If you are concerned over any of these issues, I advise you to go to their site and read their report! Very insightful! IN THIS ISSUE: ==Mexico says border fence bad for environment ==Open borders activists getting nervous? ==Is the Greenland ice cap melting? New data. ==Breaking news on Iraq: we're winning. ==Shocker in Ramos/Compean case ==Grassfire.org on CNN's Lou Dobbs Go here to access this issue of the Grassfire Report online: http://www.firesociety.com/blog/100/16256/?src=111 -<>- >From HealthScript: _,,,_ .' `'. / ____ \ | .'_ _\/ / ) a a| / ( > | ( ) ._ / ) _/-.__.'`\ ( .-'`-. \__ ) `/ `-./ `. | \ \ \ jgs | \ \ \ \ |\ `. / / \ 10 Money Mistakes Women Make So you think you�re a smart money manager. But do you pay unnecessary bank or credit card fees? Are you saving for your child�s college tuition instead of your retirement? Do you leave important financial decisions to those �more qualified� than you? If so, you�re in the majority of American women � and you�re making mistakes that could jeopardize your future. Fortunately, it�s easy to remedy these financial foibles, says personal finance wizard Suze Orman. And you can start by reversing these 10 most common money mistakes women make... http://tinyurl.com/2tvp96 -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- August is national sandwich month ------------- COLLEGE STATION, Texas - A Texas A&M University study, in honor of August being National Sandwich Month, revealed Americans eat more than 45 million sandwiches annually. The study said that the average U.S. citizen eats about 200 sandwiches a year, and the average child will eat around 1,500 peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches before graduating from high school, Texas A&M found. The difference between a healthy and unhealthy sandwich was also brought to question. "There's nothing wrong with most sandwiches but it all depends on what you put on them and serve with them," said Steven Riechman, assistant professor of health and kinesiology at Texas A&M University. "You have to start off the right way -- with the bread and meat. The bread should preferably be whole grain, not white. The whites have the highest calories and lowest fiber content," he said. "And the leaner the meat, the better." [\ .----' `-----. //^^^^;;^^^^^^`\ _______//_____||_____()_\________ /826 : : ___ `\ |> ____; ; |/\><| ____ _<) {____/ \_________________/ \____} \ '' / \ '' / jgs '--' '--' -- Iowa cabbies have a heart -- on their desk ------ IOWA CITY, Iowa - The Yellow Cab company of Iowa City can honestly say it's a company with heart after storing a refrigerated human one in their dispatch office. The heart was harvested in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Monday and packaged in ice for air shipment to a tissue processing company in Atlanta, the Cedar Rapid Gazette reported Thursday. However, agents with Delta Airlines' Comair division refused to accept it, saying they didn't have "appropriate facilities" to store it overnight and didn't want the liability, the report said. Yellow Cab's general manager, Sean Genell, told the newspaper he contacted the Atlanta company, and they assured him the heart would keep over- night in the ice, as it wasn't destined for transplant, which has only a 4-hour window of preservation. Tuesday morning, a cab shuttled the heart to the airport, and it began the trip to Atlanta on schedule, the newspaper said. -<>- >From CoffeeBreak: Bear raids soup kitchen van A black bear raided a van belonging to a ministry that serves food to the homeless in Anchorage, Alaska, forcing it to close temporarily. Judith Lewis of His Hands in Service, who was out of town for a few days, left the van with a window cracked so that it would not overheat, the Anchorage Daily News reported. A newspaper delivery man said he saw the bear inside the van, watched it leave for a while and then go back in the vehicle. "It was like he was in a cave and he was cleaning out the cave," Bill Ohlmacher said. "He was completely at home. He just ignored me." The bear devoured packages of crackers and scattered donated clothes on the ground. He also used the interior of the van as a toilet. Jessy Coltrane, a state biologist, said Lewis learned the hard way that cracked windows don't work when there are bears around. "It's like leaving your purse on the front seat of the car," she said. .-""-, ;--. \ _/oo==\===| (_ ___, \ | \\_/ / / `--'\\` /U/`--. ///,____) /// // / '' // <` \`\ \ _/_/__\_ \ | === 4 '--. \ | ~^~^~^~^~^~[_________| ~^~^~^~^~^/////////// ~^~^~^~^~^~^//////jgs// Thief steals a family's swiming pool A thief in the night stole an inflatable swimming pool and 1,000 gallons of water from the backyard of a home in Paterson, N.J. No one noticed any noise, and the theft had resident Daisy Valdivia scratching her head Wednesday. There was no evidence the water had been poured out on the ground. Lt. Anthony Traina of the Paterson Police Department says it's clear the crime was carefully planned. "Someone took a little time and effort thinking about this," he told the Paterson Herald News. "This wasn't just walking by and snatching a bike." Valdivia says she's considering putting up a fence. ==================================================================== >-->From The Jokester: You Might Be a Redneck If... * Your standard of living improves when you go camping. * Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens. * You have jacked up your home to look for a dog. * Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer. * There is a belch on your answering machine greeting. * You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode. * None of the tires on your van are the same size. * You hold the hood of the car with your head while you work on it. * Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade. * Your local beauty salon also fixes cars. * Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet. * You've ever slow danced in the Waffle House. * Starting your car involves popping the hood. * Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays. * You whistle at women in church. * You actually wear shoes your dog brought home. * You've been in a fist fight at a yard sale. * You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the back seat. -<>- >Hang Gliding __==~^~~== _==~ ~~@@==_ === | | , / @@@@ \ \ | |' / / @@@@ \ \ | | / / / / ` \| |/ / / ,' \ | | / ,',' \ | | /,' ,' \` ;/' ,' \` / ,' |o| ' _@' || '' Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge ----- into the wind he goes! Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! "Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims. Paw raises up," Git my gun, Maw." She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops. "I think ya missed him, Paw," she says. "Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of Bubba!" ====================================================================== >-->From Our Friends Del, Casey, & MrWu :) >An Et-Ahem -[Politics]- Mailing Information... The US Postal Service created a stamp with a picture of Senator Hillary Clinton to honor her achievements. In daily use, HOWEVER, it was shown that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged Senator Clinton, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of investigating, a special commission published the following findings: * The stamp was in perfect order. * There was nothing wrong with the glue/adhesive. * People were spitting on the wrong side. -<,,>- >Bounce This Along =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-)-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- _| |__| |________(_________| |__| |___ \ \/ / ) \ \/ / ) ( ( ) ( | | ( | | | | \| | | | | \o | | | | ( \ | | | | | | | | | | | | | |Zot ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ If that stuff does even 1/2 of the below - it's worth reading! ...NOTE: This has such an interesting and humorous web side to it that I decided to send you links to it's fun spots rather then give you the list of uses that was it originally... Snopes - Bounce this Along... http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/household/bounce.asp Alternate Bounce Uses: http://www.all-lies.com/legends/business/products/bounce.shtml --- ...Thanks Del! This was fun! ================================================================== >-->Tips For Campers [NOT!] _______ / \__ ( ) ""\ (" ) \ / \__ __/ \ ( __ ) """"""""//"""""" \\\\\\//\\\\\\\\ \\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\//\\\ \\ \\\ \\//\\\ \\\\\\\\ \\\ \\\\\\ \\\ \\ //\\\\ \\\\\\\\\ \\ \\\__\ \/HHH\\ //\,-' \\ o| \ \/\ _\ C|' \ SMA /__\_,-' ,; *x* /dd * A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck. * You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks. * In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear. * The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling. * Check the washing instructions before purchasing any apparel to be worn camping. Buy only those that read "Beat on a rock in stream." * The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle. * It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home. * Effective January 1, 2006, you will actually have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife. * Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears. * In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate. =============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: Joe, I thought you might like this story. I was at the hardware store the other day standing in line about three people back waiting to return something. The lady at the front of the line had a stud finder and wanted to return it because it didn't find a single stud in her wall. The woman on the other side of the counter said, your right they never work for me, every time it says stud they turn out to be jerks. -Jenn That's pretty bad, Jenn. If your jokes get any worse you'll be qualified to take over my job! Laugh it up, Joe -<>- _______ / ) /_____ | ______ ( ' ) / / __\ _____ |. '| / | \ | / )) |____|/ |`-----' /_____)) `-----' `------' cf I went into the greasy spoon next to the office and ordered a tuna on wheat. The waitress said, "Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of wheat bread. You�ll have to have it on white." The next day I went to the same place and ordered the same tuna on wheat. Again she told me they were out of wheat, I�d have to get it on white. The third time I went there I decided to skip the step of being refused the wheat and just ordered tuna on white. The waitress looked up from her notepad and said, "Aren't you the guy who usually orders it on wheat?" -<>- The big San Francisco earthquake occurred on April 18, 1906. The accompanying fire caused more than 500 deaths. It was the worst earthquake disaster in U. S. history as well as the deadliest urban fire. A few years ago, when the big quake hit the Los Angeles area, part of the damage included the totaling of a car belonging to a tourist who had driven in from out of state. When he put in the claim to his insurance company, they re- jected it. When asked why the claim was not covered, the Insurance company said it was because the tourist had a no- fault policy. Angry about the insurance company's decision, the policyholder tried to start a citizen's organization to fight this kind of rip-off from happening again. He called it the San Andreas Fund. However nothing came of it. Hardly anyone would contribute to aid the fund in its efforts. The general feeling was that charity is one thing, but this was being generous to a fault. -<>- "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly." The chief took his place at the lectern. "I'm a little nervous," he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, Audrey, and explain Beverly to her!" -<>- .---------------------------. /,--..---..---..---..---..--. `. //___||___||___||___||___||___\_| [j__ ######################## [_| \============================| .==| |"""||"""||"""||"""| |"""|| /======"---""---""---""---"=| =|| |____ []* ____ | ==|| // \\ // \\ |===|| hjw "\__/"---------------"\__/"-+---+' While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus. =========================================================== >-->From SermondFodder: RULES OF THE AIR FOR PILOTS ,--. \ _\_ _\/_|_\____.'\ -(___.--._____( \ \ \ \ `--' jg 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than being up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 6.The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. 8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself. 10. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 11. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you've made. 12. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are. 13. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. 14. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them. 15. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be. 16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment. 18. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 19. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. 20. Remember: gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's a law that is not subject to repeal. 21. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, a runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago. From http://www.dbooth.net/internerd/pilotrules.cfm -<>- >"Don't Make the Trade" __,-O< ,-- --. \. -=' -' \ __\\O- ,--- --. `^ / ). __,-O< \ __,-O< ,-- ----' `. `\) __)\O-__ )/ ,--( ,;:. _) / `^ _)\O< / (_ .:;:;. | | `^ :;';.;:' |_ |_ | ';\||' ______/=\\______/=\\_______| JML ap :| '-'-'-[=]/'-'-'-[=]/'-'-'-/'.=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:= -'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-/ '. | '-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-/ .-' .--.--. |/| -'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-/ _.-'.-: ..; .;|;. ;. |/|/ ___ ___ |' _.'\ :|--|--|- .;_;' ';_;. --|--|--|/|/ |] [|_|_|] [|_|_|] | |\ | \:|--|--| ; ;' '; ; -|--|--|/ |] [|_|_|] [|_|_|] | | \|--' ;; .--.___.--. ;; _______________________| |.-' ;-[ O )=( O ]-; |/| ( `--' | `--' ) ____.-". |/|/ \| ( |/ ;( ,__.)/=' |/|/ . .:::::. . ; |/ \| |/|/ . '---' . \ | |/|/ |`. .'| ` `|/|/ ,-------/| `...' |\-------, |--|--|--|/|/ ,' | `. ,' | `, |--|--|--|/ / \ /'. ,'\ / \ ; |/ \ / \| ; ; ; / ' |. ' \ \; ; ; `-' | `-' MJP A friend of mine, Bruce Fogerty, said the other day that one should "never go to work for God." That sounds like heresy until you listen to what else Bruce said. He went on: "Stay His child. Working for God always has and always will stink. Being God's son or daughter and enjoying the privileges of adoption is a blessing of unimagined proportions. Satan's goal now in your life is to have you get from son/heir to day laborer. Don't make the trade." I've thought about that as of late and decided that sometimes I think of myself as more of a day laborer than a son. I do believe that I'm a valued, forgiven and acceptable day laborer. I believe that I'm a loved day laborer, Christ died for this day laborer and he chose me to be his day laborer. That's no small thing. I've worked for God for a very long time...longer than many of you have been alive. Frankly, I'm pretty good at it. Some even call me "Reverend." That means I'm a very good day laborer in God's fields. I even teach people how to work better in God's fields. That makes me not only a day laborer, but also a foreman of other day laborers. That's no small thing either. Some even call me "Doctor" and that means I'm a really, really good day foreman/day laborer. As some of you know, I'm not even a nurse. My doctorates are phony and I got them for speaking at academic graduations where they make you a "doctor" and pay you for talking to them. I always felt that was a sort of "crazy doctorate" until I realized that the people who gave them to me thought that I was one heck of a day laborer or they wouldn't have asked me to speak, paid me or given me the phony doctorate. That's a big thing. It's not half bad to be a day laborer. The wages are okay and the retirement plan is outstanding. My boss is benevolent and kind, never demanding more than I can give. When I screw it up, my boss is understanding and, I might say, isn't even surprised. And in this business of being a day laborer, that's no small thing either. The problem with a day laborer is...well...you're "just" a day laborer. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind being "just" a day laborer. I would rather work for my boss than anybody else's boss. In fact, I've tried working for other bosses and it never worked out. They often abused me, demeaned me, promised me stuff on which they refused to deliver and sometimes left me feeling miserable and alone. So, when I "switched" bosses, I felt it was okay...better than okay. I have always been familiar with such passages as Romans 8:14- 15, "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons (and daughters), by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!'" I've memorized passages like Ephesians 1:5, "... he predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." And I've taught Galatians 4:4-7 several times: "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons (and daughters). And because you are sons (and daughters), God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son (or daughter), and if a son (or a daughter), then an heir through God." That's not just a big thing...that's astounding! In fact, the more I think about it, the more comfortable I get with the truth of my standing with the boss. In fact, I've decided that I'm something else! I don't ever have to feel inferior, poor or defeated. The King of everything isn't my boss... ...he's my Father. A day laborer, when the day is over, goes back to his shack. A son or daughter gets to live in the big house and sleep in a nice bed with servants everywhere. A day laborer stays a day laborer as long as his labor is acceptable. There is a limit to how much even a good and benevolent boss will abide. There is always the chance, even with the most patient of bosses, of the boss saying, "I've had it with you. Get out of here." A son or daughter stays a son or daughter no matter what. A good day laborer gets a good salary and sometimes, when he or she has been a particularly valuable day laborer, even gifts and bonuses. A son or daughter gets everything. A day laborer is protected as a "producing unit" on the farm as long as he or she produces...but you mess with a son or daughter and you're in big trouble. Do you remember the old Tennessee Ernie Ford song, Sixteen Tons? Some people say a man is made outta mud A poor man's made outta muscle and blood Muscle and blood and skin and bones A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong. You load sixteen tons, what do you get Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter don't you call me, 'cause I can't go I owe my soul to the company store. Well, I no longer owe my soul to the company store. I own the store. It's my inheritance. So I've stopped working for God as a day laborer. I'm getting too old for this anyway. Maybe my being a son instead of a day laborer makes me sound a bit flip and even sometimes offensive. Maybe I seem to take it too much for granted and appear to be a little too cocky. Sometimes I even take advantage of the fact that I'm not a day laborer and do things that would get a day laborer fired. I laugh a lot and that offends some of the other day laborers and there are times when I even refuse to work. But I don't care. Everybody will have to deal with it. My Father owns this farm and he loves me and will never kick me out. Fathers don't kick their sons out...at least really good fathers, and this one is the best. My elder brother (Jesus) said, "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more your Father who is in heaven..." (Matthew 7:11). If you want, you can have my hoe and shovel, and even my paycheck. I don't need them. You don't either. Try to remember that. Our Father asked me to remind you. In His Grip, Steve Brown >From keylife.org =================================================================== >-->FUN places to Net Visit: >From The MouthPiece: DRESS KEVIN Kevin needs your help. What should he wear? Look through his virtual closet and let him know. Kevin might just wear your choices his next time out of the house! Visit" DRESS KEVIN QUARK DANCE The excitement begins here with the always enjoyable Quark Dance. From here, move on to particle adventures for interesting information about our world and what holds it together. Visit: QUARK DANCE -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Behind The Name http://behindthename.com/ Ruler trivia http://www.rulers.org/ Bad Cookie - Real Web Chinese Fortune Cookie http://www.badcookie.com/ Useless Information http://home.nycap.rr.com/useless/index.html Doggie Zone http://www.chazhound.com/pictures/ KITTEN BREAK http://kittenbreak.com/ If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ================================================================ >-->Quotes & Thumkers: "Hot today in New York City. So hot, Dick Cheney shot a buddy with a Super Soaker." - David Letterman "The Xerox company announced that they have created a new kind of paper that kills fewer trees. A spokesman said, 'Every ingredient in our new paper is completely synthetic except for the kittens'." - Conan O'Brien "Here's what caught my eye today: A Tennessee minister was arrested for being drunk, high, and for wearing a skirt. Why is that illegal? Where I am from, if you see a guy drunk, stoned out of his mind, and wearing a skirt, you say, 'Good morning, Grandpa!'" - Craig Ferguson "Comic-Con, the world�s largest comic book convention, starts today in San Diego. It�s a four-day celebration of comics and science fiction. Convention organizers are expecting 125,000 people this year. Three of those people are projected to be female. Two of them are just moms dropping off their sons and the other one's named Pat." -Craig Ferguson "I read this in the paper today: A restaurant in West Virginia is selling a 10-pound hamburger. It comes with lettuce, tomato, and an organ donor card." -Jay Leno "Researchers at Johns Hopkins University are predicting that 75 percent of Americans will be overweight by the year 2015. But my fellow Americans, with a little team work, I think we can do it by 2010. USA! USA!" -Conan O'Brien Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. -- Dr. Seuss No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. -� Christopher Morley >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - UnHuh :)Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair. We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806 ************************************************************************ -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: a href="http://tinyurl.com/2vrfzv">This Weeks regular Shangy emails ************************************************************************ -->Want to ADVERTISE in The Shangy FUN Listt Publication? >To ADVERTISE: Advertise ************************************************************************ -->Missed Any of These Teachings? 'BABES INN CHRIST','IN The Beginning', 'Crossing The Line','NEVER Give Up', 'FEAR - Feeling Kind Of Buggy', 'HAUNTINGS', 'Christianity And The Renewed Mind', or 'Curse Of The Law' --BE SURE TO Tell me which one you want or you'll get them all :) >For a Lesson: Teaching ************************************************************************