Human Rights Day And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->OoooWEeeee!! oo 8 "} > @ < .8 .-._/| .'_'`')`_.' \| ) / (>'/ |_,_ | (,| .' ,'\| `._/ ) \| '`- -- ''-- --- VK/ejm I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala has been blessed with a donation from Jessica S. From Virginia! May God abundantly Bless her for her generous thoughtfulness! She is contributing to help Keep Shangrala Alive! We sure do thank God for her and all our past most sweet and wonderful angels! Thank You! If you'd like to help too and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super scorcher new page is from our friend Linda. If, like me, you admire and are fond of horses or just an animal lover in general, then this one will bring you plenty of oos, awws and smiles for your day. Be sure to check it out along with the video here: _|\ _/|_, ,((\\``-\\\\_ ,(()) `))\ ,(())) ,_ \ ((())' | \ ))))) >.__ \ (((' / `-. .c| hjw / `-`' Beautiful Horses! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/beautifulhorses.html --- ...Stunning animals! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _.--. .-"`_.--.\ .-.___________ ."_-"` \\ ( 0;------/\"'` ,."=___ =)) \ \ / \ `~` .=`~'~) ( _/ / / \ =`---====""~`\ _/ / \ `-------"` / \ jgs / \ ( ) '._ _.' '----' Two country doctors were discussing the population explosion. One said: "This crazy birth rate is getting so bad that soon there ain't gonna be room for everybody. It's gonna be standing room only on this here planet." "Well," said his colleague, "that sure oughta slow 'em down a bit!" -<>- Recently, the "Love Bug" Virus circled the globe, damaging computers in it's path. There have recently been some new mutations or variations of this virus that you should be aware of. 1. The "I Love You, But I'm Shy" virus never actually invades your computer, but collects data about it worshipfully from afar. 2. The "Love The One You're With" virus hangs around your computer, but the whole thing is just temporary until it can find the computer that it really wants to invade. 3. The "Happily Married" virus invades only one computer and stays with it for life. 4. The "Unhappily Married" virus spends a long time negotiating with a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to other computers from time to time. 5. The "I Want A Divorce" virus sends repeated, hard-to-read messages that your computer isn't working and takes half of your computer's best data in an ugly network session. 6. The "Stalker" virus spends unnatural amounts of time monitoring your computer, collecting data your computer has thrown away and tries to record all of its functions. And it writes rude messages to any other computer with which yours connects on any regular basis. 7. The "Forever Single" virus causes your computer to focus solely on other computers with which it is totally incompatible or prove generally unavailable. 8. The "Deadbeat" virus invades your computer, spawns an entirely new database, then refuses to help update it as it grows. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 10 is Human Rights Day December 11 is National Noodle Ring Day December 12 is Channukah, National Ding-a-Ling Day and Poinsettia Day December 13 is Ice Cream Day and Violin Day December 14 is International Monkey Day, National Bouillabaisse Day and Roast Chestnuts Day December 15 is Bill of Rights Day and National Lemon Cupcake Day December 16 is National Chocolate Covered Anything Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _*_ _*_ _*_ _*_ \ / _*_ \ / !\ / \ / )>==O \ / )>==O \ O )>===O \/ )>==O \/ ___ \| :======== | | \/ | / \/| \/| | | | | ./|| | / \ |\ / \ \___/ /\ / \ ejm97 / \ | \ \ \ / \ \ \ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ >Music Tests From the Missouri School Music Newsletter, these are answers to test questions compiled by music teachers. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music. Refrain means don't do it. A refrain in music is the part you better not try to sing. A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals. John Sebastian Bach died from 1750 to the present. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was rather large. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf.He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling him. I guess he could not hear so good. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died from this. Henry Purcell is a well known composer few people have ever heard of. Aaron Copland is one of your most famous contemporary composers. It is unusual to be contemporary. Most composers do not live until they are dead. An opera is a song of bigly size. In the last scene of Pagliacci, Canio stabs Nedda who is the one he really loves. Pretty soon Silvio also gets stabbed, and they all live happily ever after. Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel. I know what a sextet is but I had rather not say. Most authorities agree that music of antiquity was written long ago. My very best liked piece of music is the Bronze Lullaby. My favorite composer is Opus. A harp is a nude piano. Question: What are kettle drums called? Answer: Kettle drums. For some reason, they always put a treble clef in front of every line of flute music. You just watch. The main trouble with a French horn is it's too tangled up. The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose. It is easy to teach anyone to play the maracas. Just grip the neck and shake him in rhythm. Just about any animal skin can be stretched over a frame to make a pleasant sound once the animal is removed. -<>- >Haircut Boss: You got your hair cut on company time. Susie: It grew on company time. Boss: Not all that hair. Susie: I didn't get it all cut. -<>- >Credit Verify Standing in line at the clothing store's counter, I watched as the woman ahead of me handed the clerk her credit card. The customer waited for a long time while the saleswoman went to verify the account. When she finally returned, the clerk said, "I'm sorry, but this card is in your husband's name, and we can't accept it because the records show that he is deceased." With that, the woman turned to her husband, who was standing next to her and asked, "Does this mean I don't have to fix lunch for you today?" -<>- >Canine Bodyguard My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." "Perfect," my sister-in-law thought and took the dog. Then one day she was approached by two men in a parking lot, and she watched to see how her canine bodyguard would react. Soon it became clear that the trainer wasn't kidding. As the men got closer, the dog ran under the nearest car. -<>- >Squabbling Twins Our five-year-old twins had been squabbling all day, and I'd finally had enough. Pulling them apart, I said, "How would you feel if Daddy and I argued like that?" My son replied, "But you and Daddy chose each other. We had no choice." ========================================================= >-->SMILES For Human Rights Day: , __ _.-"` `'-. /||\'._ __{}_( |||| |'--.__\ | L.( ^_\^ \ .-' | _ | | | )\___/ | \-'`:._] jgs \__/; '-. >Cops Know All About Your 'Human Rights'... "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." "Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun." "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" "Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop." "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) . !__________! . _______ /_\ |____ ____| /_\ |__*__| __|__ {____}{____} __|__ |__*__| __|_*_|__%%%%%%%%%%%%__|_*_|__|__*__|__ | | %%%%%%%%%%%%%% | | |/ \| %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% /||||||||||||||||||||\ ||||||||||||||||||lc|| >SMILES A fellow decided to decorate his bedroom. He wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper he would need but he knew that the Irishman who lived next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Murphy," he asked, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Ten" said Murphy. So the fellow bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job. It looked wonderful, but he had 2 rolls of wallpaper left over. "Murphy," he said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 left over!" "Dat's funny," said Murphy. "So did I." ---------- Two men ere discussing cars and one of them mentioned he had once owned a Rolls-Kinardly. "What is a Rolls-Kinardly?" his friend asked. "That is a car that rolls down one hill and kin hardly get up the next." ---------- There was a nervous patient whose imagination afflicted him with all kinds of ills which never seemed to materialize. - - One afternoon he staggered into the house. He was bent forward, and tottering to a chair, and still curled into a half-moon shape, dropped into it. - "Honey," he gasped, "it's come at last. There was no warning. All of a sudden he found he couldn't straighten up. and couldn't lift his head." - When the doctor had arrived and looked over the patient, the wife inquired, Is there any hope?" - "Well," the doctor said, "it will help a good deal if he can unhitch the third buttonhole of his vest from the top button of his trousers." ---------- ,*-~"`^"*u_ _u*"^`"~-*, p!^ / jPw w9j \ ^!p w^.._ / "\_ _/" \ _.^w *_ / \_ _ _ _/ \ _* q / / \q ( `--` ) p/ \ \ p jj5****._ / ^\_) o o (_/^ \ _.****6jj *_ / "==) ;; (==" \ _* `/.w***, /( )\ ,***w.\" ^ ilmk ^c/ ) ( \c^ ^ 'V')_)(_('V' `` `` A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you 'see' that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!" ---------- An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost. Finally they cane into some city. They saw a gentleman on the sidewalk, so the American pulled up to the curb, and the lady let down her window and asked: "Excuse me, sir. Where are we?" The gentleman on the street replied, "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan." The lady rolled up the window, turned to her husband and said, "We really are lost. They don't even speak English here!" ------- Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. He got a great night's sleep and actually beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he cheerfully drove to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine," said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?" ---------- The strongman at a circus squeezed the juice from a lemon between his hands. He then said to the audience, "I will offer $200 to anyone in the audience who can squeeze another drop from this lemon. A thin scholarly looking woman came forward, picked up the lemon, strained hard and managed to get a drop. The strongman was amazed. He paid the woman and asked, "What is the secret of your strength?" "Practice," the woman answered. "I was the treasurer of a Church for thirty-two years! -------- The pastor told the search committee, "If I am voted in as pastor of this church, I will work hard to bring us into the 20th century." Someone spoke up, "Uh, Preacher, don't you mean the 21st century?" The pastor replied, "Let's take it one century at a time." -------- During "children's time" in the worship service, the kids came forward and the pastor, wanting to teach about prayer, asked, "How can we talk with God?" The pastor produced paper and envelope and said, "Maybe we can write God a letter. Does anyone know God's address?" The group said no. Then the pastor pulled out his cell phone and said, "Maybe we can telephone God. Does anyone know God's phone number?" The response was again negative. Then the pastor displayed his laptop computer and said, "Maybe we can send God an e-mail!" A little five-year-old enthusiastically said, "Yeah, try www-dot-God-dot-com!" -------- ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 .d88 8 oooooooooooooooooooooooooooood8888 8 8888888888888888888888888P" 8888 oooooooooooooooo 8 8888888888888888888888P" 8888 8 8 8 8888888888888888888P" 8888 8 d8 8 8888888888888888P" 8888 8 d88 8 8888888888888P" 8888 8 d888 8 8888888888P" 8888 8 d8888 8 8888888P" 8888 8 d88888 8 8888P" 8888 8 d888888 8 8888oooooooooooooooooooooocgmm8888 8 d8888888 8 .od88888888888888888888888888888888 8 d88888888 8888888888888888888888888888888888888 8 d888888888 8 d8888888888 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 8 d88888888888 d ...oood8b 8 d888888888888 d ...oood888888888888b 8 d8888888888888 d ...oood88888888888888888888888b 8d88888888888888 dood8888888888888888888888888888888888b >Remember When... A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note. A window was something you hated to clean And ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was a job for the nights. Now they all mean different things And that really mega bytes. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. Memory was something that you lost with age. A CD was a bank account And if you had a 3 1/2" floppy you hoped nobody found out. Compress was something you did to the garbage Not something you did to a file. And if you unzipped anything in public You'd be in jail for a while. Log on was adding wood to the fire. Hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived And a backup happened to your commode. Cut you did with a pocket knife. Paste you did with glue. A web was a spider's home And a virus was the flu. I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper And the memory in my head. I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash but when it happens they wish they were dead. --- ...HaHaHa! LOL! Good ones! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: .-""""-. |== ==|-. |~~ ~~~|`\\ |LILILI| || | |// | |/ | | jgs __|______|__ [____________] Don't forget to keep a good amount of gas in your car during the cold months... Gas up! During cold weather months, it's a good practice to keep at least a half a tank of gasoline in your vehicle at all times. Not only does it prevent you from being stranded, but it prevents any water in the tank from freezing, which can damage the fuel pump. -<>- / / / .--. / / / / / \ / / / | /a / / / / / \ |/ / / / .-. / ) | / / / / __) / / `. .--. / / / \| @( / | \ \ / // / / / / / .' \-/ / |\ \_|_\__ / -' / / / / | \' / | \___/)--) / / / / / \ \ / | | \ \ .-' / / / / \/) | | \.-' \ / (____\ /U\ _.---------'| `------._____________________/ \ \\__)-------._ -- '`--` VK Leave those wet winter boots at the door... Whether you have kids coming home from school, you were out shoveling, or taking part in any outdoor winter travel, no one wants to walk into the house with their wet boots. Create a simple and stylish drying system with a plastic tray filled with rocks or pebbles. This lets boots drip dry inside without messing up floors. -<>- Grab a roll of duct tape and keep it in the car. Not only does it fix everything, but you can use it as a fire starter - duct tape is very flammable and is a great tool to get a fire going in an emergency. -<>- Get a clear plastic hanging shoe organizer to store your winter wear. This will create a way for everyone to easily store their hats, gloves, and scarves close to the door and they can easily pick out which are theirs. Hanging the organizer on the door you exit the house from most will also help the forgetful types from leaving these items behind. ========================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Justice With Judge Jeanine 12/8/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdiD5nsX_Lk President Trump Signs Hatch-Sponsored Child Pornography Victim Assistance Law https://tinyurl.com/y6w2yc7v The economy has grown by nearly 4% over the past six months, and the final number for 2018 is expected to come in at between 3% and 3.5%. The U.S. growth rate has doubled since Mr. Obama’s last year in office.” The bottom line: President Trump’s tax cuts have primed this economy for “long-term growth, not a short-term buzz.” https://tinyurl.com/y8ql678f “President Trump recently made an excellent move to promote the education of children in developing countries. His administration freed resources already appropriated within the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) to be given to privately run schools,” Ken Blackwell writes in The Hill. “This will allow for a higher population of genuinely underprivileged kids to gain an education despite their circumstances and safeguard the educational systems for the world’s most vulnerable people.” https://tinyurl.com/y9oepr6z President Trump Attends the 2018 Army Navy Game https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEDZxyzW928 “President Trump scored major successes at the G-20 summit that concluded over the weekend in Argentina. Specifically, the community of nations agreed in their official communique to ‘necessary reform’ of the World Trade Organization, a top White House priority,” financial expert Liz Peek writes. “The Chinese promised to up their purchases of U.S.-made goods and to discuss other demands in exchange for postponing an expected hike in tariffs.” https://tinyurl.com/ycw5re4t In Bloomberg, Javier Blas reports that “America turned into a net oil exporter last week, breaking almost 75 years of continued dependence on foreign oil” and marking a pivotal moment in President Trump’s promise to become energy independent. “The shift to net exports is the dramatic result of an unprecedented boom in American oil production, with thousands of wells pumping.” https://tinyurl.com/yd3atygj In The Washington Times, Stephen Dinan writes that yesterday the Senate voted to confirm Kathleen Kraninger as the new director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. “She has promised to stay the course set by Mr. Mulvaney, saying her priorities will be to bring transparency and accountability to the agency, and to protect consumer privacy while launching ‘aggressive’ action against bad actors.” https://tinyurl.com/ydbxdt8h Did Obama DOJ Use Fake Dossier on Purpose? https://1600daily.com/2018/12/06/obama-doj-use-fake-dossier-purpose/ Huge Clinton Donor Indicted for Defrauding U.S. to Win $8 Billion Pentagon Contract https://tinyurl.com/ycnemwrp FIXED: How Democrats ‘Harvested’ Their Way to Victory in Orange County AFTER Election Day https://tinyurl.com/yboznbgk “An illegal immigrant arrested for allegedly shooting and killing a co-worker in Oregon is discovered to have been deported at least eight times,” Jason Hopkins reports for The Daily Signal. The suspect is currently being held in the Umatilla County Sheriff’s Office, where he “is being charged with one count of murder, one count of felon in possession of a weapon, and one count of INS detainer. His bail has been set at $5,000,000.” https://tinyurl.com/ya5ctdnv WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest Fox News: https://www.foxnews.com/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Students For Life https://tinyurl.com/yd5nxmu6 Latest From OperationRescue: http://www.operationrescue.org/ Today's Best Conservative Humor! https://theusawire.com/2018/03/8092-todays-best-conservative-humor/ RECALLS: Poultry, Candy, Dog Food https://tinyurl.com/y7h377ku -<>- >From BizarreNews: I had several roommates when I was a younger man, and I didn't get along with any of them. In my experience roommates are slobs, mooches and deadbeats. But compared with the roommate in today's story, having your food eaten or being late with the rent money every other month seem like mere peccadillos. I think the first lesson to take away from this story is don't move in with a roommate who owns a shotgun, and the second lesson would be to try to make sure your potential roommate doesn't think he is some kind of vigilante. That way you probably won't end up handcuffed to a chair like in this nightmare scenario. It started when 45-year-old Jason Dee Maughn of Salt Lake County, Utah, suspected his roommate of assaulting a woman. But instead of going to the police he decided to take the matter into his own hands. Maughn allegedly held a shotgun to his roommate's head and made the man sit in a chair before handcuffing him. According to the statement of probable cause, Maughn told the victim he could "either be taken to the desert to be killed or Maughn could drive a nail into the victim's manhood." Maughn then allegedly threatened to shoot the victim if he attempted to fight back. After the victim chose the latter option, Maughn allegedly used a rusty hammer to drive a ice pick-like tool through the victim's manhood and into a 2x4 board placed under the victim. The suspect released the man and told him to leave. He sought medical attention at a hospital the following day, police said. Maughn was charged with first-degree felony aggravated kidnapping, first-degree felony S assault, second- degree felony aggravated assault and second-degree felony mayhem. -<>- Imagine a secret island hidden in the heart of the equatorial jungle, inhabited by super aggressive 'monster' chimpanzees freed from a US testing laboratory, where it is rumored by the locals that any unfortunate wanderer who stumbles upon the island is eaten alive! It sounds like a 'B' monster movie from the 1950s, but apart from a few exaggerations, such an island exists. The isolated patch of jungle is known to locals in Liberia as 'Monkey Island'. In the 1970s the U.S set up a controversial virus testing laboratory nearby in order to develop vaccines to be used on sick humans. All of the test monkey were infected diseases like hepatitis and 'river blindness'. These experiments went on for decades until a campaign by animal activists led to the facility being closed. Instead of euthanizing all of the animals, more than 60 chimps were stranded on this little river island. Their originals care-takers, many of whom have worked with the chimps since the 1970s, were paid to take them food and water every other day. Many of the animals are said to be "super aggressive" and those living nearby are terrified to go there for fear of being attacked. Tourists who have paid local fishermen to take them near the island are pelted with fruit by the territorial chimps. There are even rumors that they will attack and eat those who set foot on the land. "They will eat you raw!" one villager warned a journalist who asked to be taken to see the apes. The only thing that keeps these dangerous, aggressive, infected chimps on the island is their fear of water. But food is scarce on the island. If the monkeys ever get hungry enough, how long before they learn how to swim? *--- Tightrope 'Sitter' Sets New Record ---* I can't bear to sit still for more than an hour at a time. This high wire stuntman spent 8 hours sitting in a chair balanced on a tightrope in Switzerland to set a new Guinness World Record. Guinness confirmed Freddy Nock earned the record for longest duration chair balancing on a tightrope when he balanced in the seat for 8 hours, 30 minutes and 55 seconds at the Mall of Switzerland in Ebikon. Nock was seen eating and even scooting the chair 98 feet across the tight- rope during his attempt. The record attempt was timed to coincide with the mall's first anniversary. *--- Mom Sends Son to School with S Doll --* It was an honest mistake. Scottish mother Helen Cox needed an outfit for her five-year-old son Alfie who was going to play a part in the school nativity play. So she went online to buy a shepherd costume and decided to supplement the outfit with a blow-up sheep. What she didn't realize was the sheep was a S doll designed for perverts who prefer their partners of the woolly persuasion. The school told Alfie to bring the doll home when it was observed to have a hole in its bottom as well as red lips and eyelashes. "I just can't believe it. I don't know whether to laugh or cry! How am I going to explain this to his teachers?" Helen said. *--- You Have to Give This Guy a Hand ---* A German athlete set a Guinness World Record by skating 164 feet in 8.55 seconds using in-line skates he wore on his hands. Mirko Hansen strapped a pair of K2 Mach 100 skates in-line skates to his hands and performed a rolling handstand for 164 feet in 8.55 seconds, earning him a spot in the 2019 Guinness Book of World Records. Hansen achieved his no-feet feat in Bocholt, North Rhine-Westphalia. "After I was part of some TV shows I want to make the next step and be part of the famous Guinness World Records book," Hansen said. Hansen said he started hand skating about four years ago and has only recently started doing it while upside-down. "With a lot of tough training I learned more and more, for example to skate on one hand and to jump over a ramp" he said. *--- 'Secret Santa' Pays Off $29K of Layaways ---* Customers at a Pennsylvania Walmart store were shocked to discover a "Secret Santa" had paid off $29,000 worth of layaway items at the store. The Walmart store confirmed an anonymous benefactor known only to a small handful of employees paid off the $29,000 bill, helping hundreds of customers finish their Christmas shopping. "When customers quietly pay off others' layaway items, we're reminded how good people can be," Walmart said in a statement provided to the Philadelphia Inquirer. Christine Jackson said her $141 worth of toys and gifts were among the items paid off by the Secret Santa. "I can't breathe right now. I don't know if you can hear it or not but I'm trying not to use my inhaler because I have asthma but I'm just so excited," Jackson said. "I've been in an all-time high. When you look at that it's nothing but God working. Do you hear me?" ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _ , (_\______/________ \-|-|/|-|-|-|-|/ \==/-|-|-|-|-/ \/|-|-|-|,-' \--|-''' \_j________ (_) (_) hjw I know that Christmas is only fifteen days away, but I have to purge myself of a few things that have been bugging me while I'm doing my holiday shopping. Okay, here we go... 1. When people have to ask how much something is in the 'Dollar Store'. Really? 2. Mindless shoppers blatant disregard for human life and public/private property while looking for a "sweet" parking spot. It's called the "Rules of the Road" - learn 'em! 3. Shoppers having to tell other random shoppers about all of the people on their list and how much they have already purchased and how much more purchasing has to be done. Just shut your face! We know all of those supposed people on your list are actually cats. 4. People who stand over your shoulder, mouth-breathing on you because they want to grab an item that you happen to be in front of, but instead of saying, "excuse me," they continue breathing like a bullmastiff and inching even closer hoping that you'll spontaneously understand their selfish needs and cater to their rude behavior. Back off you creeps! They may have worked in prison, but it doesn't work on me. 5. Shoppers that have to keep telling the unfortunate person shopping with them that they hope so-and-so likes the whatchamacallit that they bought them. It's called a Gift Receipt you loser! RELAX!!! Oh, I feel so much better now. Well, I have a little more shopping to do, so if you'll excuse me. -<>- >How Do You Do That? Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, "Boy, was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!" The other buddy says, "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." "How do you do that?" says the other. "It's easy! I turn off the light!" -<>- >Marriage Decision A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally, he went to a marriage counselor. The counselor asked, "Please describe your two loves." "Well, one is a great poet." "And the other?" "The other makes delicious pancakes." "I see. So, you can't decide whether to marry for batter or for verse." -<>- >You Know You're Out Of Shape When... You know you're out of shape when you fall down, and while trying to get back up, you rock yourself to sleep. -<>- >Great News For You The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two." Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us." -<>- __ @@;, ( ; ? : ); _| |_ | | || | | _| |_ | \ \ \/ || \/ ___ / / | __| |\ __||____||___||______/| | ||| | |_______ _________| | ||| ||| |____ | | ____| ||| Design by \ \______ ) | | / ______/ / || | | | | | /___| || Samule J. Neptune || | | |_ /| | |\ _| || || || | \__, / | | | \<__/ | || >Q and A Quickies Q: What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A: A power failure. Q: Why did the orange use suntan lotion? A: It didn't want to peel. Q: Why did the three little pigs leave home? A: Their father was an awful boar. Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs. ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ~"""~ /,/,/,/\\\ __ /,/,/,/,,\\`\ Y#b. /,/, \\\\D###D. d#\_/ \_/\####D d##\/, | | /,/####P d###\, (. .) ,_/####P d######\ ,v"v. ,#####P d########\ \"""/ / ###P" d########\_____/ \##P #b T########\ /##b ###b__)########`---=/###########b ############ || /#############b #######P" || // .###########H ####P || // T#########H #### || // T#######H #### ||// T#####H #### | / T###H #### |/ T#H Birgit Nietsch Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood. So logically, pancakes are more important than family. -<>- Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers. -<>- Back in my day, we had to agree when and where to meet and if someone didn't show up you couldn't call or text them, you just had to assume they had died. -<>- I have been working on my PhD in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don't necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get a job there. Hoping to make a point, I asked, "Do you think they're looking for an engineer?" "Oh, sure," he said. "They'll hire anybody." -<>- The black lacquer stand holding his prized samurai swords was dusty, so my husband left our cleaning lady a note reading, "Check out my swords." That evening, he found the stand just as dirty as before but with this added his note: 'Nice swords.' -<>- Jim's doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left. "All I want," Jim tells his beloved wife, "is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon." Which is exactly what they did. But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she's tired and wants to go to sleep. "Oh, come on," Jim whispers in her ear, "one more time." "Look," his wife snaps, "I've got to get up in the morning. You don't!" -<>- I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. "Start with a capital S, then 123," she shouted back. We tried S123 several times, but it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, "I really don't know what's so difficult about typing 'Start123.'" -<>- My sister didn't do as well on her driver's ed test as she'd hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: "When the ___ is dead, the car won't start." She wrote: "Driver." -<>- Rose Lutz ______.--------. /' \ /'\ \ ..-'\()'\ .'''. ./' | .' / \..} '\. / { /' '\ \ {------' .' '. '| \ . | \ | '\_____/ | | | / | | | .' | | | | | | | | | | | | | \ | As you know, Neanderthal man may have interbred with modern man. His descendants are with us even today, passing for full-blooded Homo sapiens. If you suspect a "touch of the old hand ax" in your ancestry, score yourself on this test: 1. Do your eyebrows meet in the middle? If so, give yourself five points. 2. Can you lock your knees in an upright position? If not, take five points. 3. Got a chin? If the answer is no, add three points. 4. How about a forehead? If not, add another three points. 5. Is it easy for you to balance a book on your head? Then give yourself five points. 6. Do you ever open Coke bottles with your teeth? If you do, add ten points. 7. Are you frequently more comfortable squatting on your heels than sitting in a chair? Take five points. 8. Is your head attached vertically to your neck? If not, add one point for every five degrees of slope. 9. Less than five feet tall? Add one point for every inch under. 10. If your lower arm is shorter than your upper arm, add one point for every inch of difference. 11. Ditto for your lower and upper legs. 12. Pigeon-toed? Five points. 13. Have you ever felt like bashing a postal clerk with a club? You're normal--no points. 14. Is the space between your big toe and your other toes big enough to hold an apple? Add five points. 15. Do you regularly eat apples in this way? Add fifteen points. 16. Do people think you're wearing your hair in a bun when you're not? Give yourself ten points. 17. Can you count your vertebrae while wearing two sweaters and an overcoat? Take five more points. 18. Is your nickname "Duke", "Butch", or "Animal"? Three points. Scroll down for your score.... *** Scoring: 0-20 points: You are a virtually pure Homo sapiens. Feel free to build bridges, compose symphonies, and overrun the world. 20-40 points: A slight Neanderthal strain means that you will occasionally have spells of primitive behavior, crawling around on all fours and whooping wildly. If you live in California, no one will notice. 40-60 points: You can still function quite well in the modern world, but avoid eating in fancy restaurants lest your table manners give you away. 60-80 points: Your Pleistocene heritage is predominant. You should consider a career in pro football. 80-100 points: Unfortunately, your genetic makeup is Grunt City; there is no place for you in human society. Try running for public office instead. ========================================================= >-->From TheJokester: ___ /_\_\ |;-^-'| ; ._ d - j :. ,<%@. |-_-| / \ {_ _,l ___/\_ _/\_ \,< ___ <~L~>\. /___\_\'/_/_`-.( `___\ \ - |` /___ \ \|/|po /||_/-___L":--;" L _ \ \ |o|LY| |(n==\^\^''--`-,-_ [-><-]=3 || ^;| |`\ _')>\ /<__/\ |< !c)|o ; |;| "| _' \ \/ /po | |- | | ; ' |,-. |.V \/ |LY | |\__, _L |o : | / \ \||\ |o^ ^| | _|/| / _\__ : / 7 '<|`. | | | / |L/ < /\: | Y \ | \|' | | | |/ /_ | | | | \| A|. | | /| |/|PO| | || | | |V| | | || |<|LY| | || | |,| | |_ | / | | ^^ | | | | | |____| |" | | | | | | | | |#^' |4 \ | | | | | | |,| | |%_| | | |m | A \ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | / | / | | \ || | | | | | | / /| |__| || | | l | | |> / / | | \___/|_A_| | | | | / / | | | | || |m1a >Rules for Buying Gifts for Men Rule #1: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why. Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" No one knows why. Rule #3: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. Again, no one knows why. Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts. Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips. Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer. Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy. Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why. Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over. Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto,eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks." Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?" Rule #12: Tickets to a Patriots game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why. Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker. Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why. Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manilla rope. No one knows why. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: ___________ \ / )_______( |"""""""|_.-._,.---------.,_.-._ | | | | | | ''-. | |_| |_ _| |_..-' |_______| '-' `'---------'` '-' )"""""""( /_________\ `'-------'` .-------------. jgs/_______________\ >ELEVEN GREAT PUNS ABOUT THE LAW 11) Lawyers wear law suits. 10) Next time you get a lawyer a drink, give him just-ice. 9) A lawyer using a facsimile machine must be sure to get his fax straight. 8) A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining. 7) Does a lawyer representing an angry cow find just cause for sour milk in a dairy case? 6) A detective likes to have a brief case. 5) The detective who went to investigate a burned down post office figured that it must be blackmail. 4) There are many judges who would like to acquit smoking. 3) Old judges never die, they just slur their sentences. 2) A police dog is often the scenter of a drug arrest. 1) If there's one person you don't want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence, it's a judge. -<>- _ __{_}_ .'______'-. _:-' `'-: _ / _______ `\ .-' \ \.-' `'--./ .' \ \ / () ___ () \ \ \\\# || (___) | \ #\\_|| '.___.' | \___|\ \_________.--./ \\ | \ \--. \\/_________/ / `\ , .\\ /`--;`-. `-.__.'/ / _\\ ,_.' _/ \ \ / | `\ \ /` | '.___.-' \____/\ '--\____/ / \\ \ | \\ | | \\ | | \\ | \ \\ /::.:::.. jgs '.___..-.__.\\__.__.':::::::''''' >ALL I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM A SNOWMAN 1. It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy. 2. Hold your ground, even when the heat is on. 3. Wearing white is always appropriate. 4. Winter is the best of the four seasons. 5. It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection. 6. There's nothing better than a foul weather friend. 7. We're all made up of mostly water. 8. You know you've made it when they write a song about you. 9. Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize! 10. Avoid yellow snow. Don't get too much sun. 11. It's embarrassing when you can't look down and see your feet. 12. It's fun to hang out in your front yard. 13. There's no stopping you once you're on a roll. 14. It's not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts. -<>- ||::|:|| .--------, |:||:|:| |_______ / .-. ||::|:|| ."` ___ `". {\('v')/} \\\/\///: .'` `'. ;____`( )'____ \====/ './ o o \|~ ^" "^ // \\// | ())) . | Season's \ || \ `.__.' /| Greetings // || _{``-.___.-'\| from: Shangy \ || _." `-.____.-'`| ___ // ||` __ \ |___/ \_______\ ."|| (__) \ \| / / `\/ __ vvvvv'\___/ | | (__) | \___/\ / || | .___. | || | | | ||.-' | '-. jgs || | ) ||----------'---------' |"|")/"\<""|"\ / "|"| ||_" <"|\ |/"\| ||\/||\ |\ | | /|"|" |"|"\\_/_> | | | |"||_ _>| \|\_/|/\|| ||"\| \| |"\| | """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" .-"""-. / \ ___,---,__ | :| (/_/|\ \|_/) | .:| || \ | .-----. \ ..::/ ||\ \| |`"""`| .-` :-. || \ | /______ |_____| .' ':. `|\ \| `\ ) .-[____=]-. /' ':\ """"" / `"-------"` / ':\ <"/"|\ |")|" . ; :; _>\_|"\|"\|" /|\ | :| | | :| | .:| ,__ | ||\"|" | .::| |\ |"||"\| : .:::: \ |")/"\|"\\ / \ ..::::/ |")\_/|_/ | _,-`-.___ ..::::::-'-,_ ^ -" "~- /"|\ |")|")/"\"|" __ \_|"\|"\|"\\_/ | |--| /___ |")||")|_" ________| | `\ |" ||" |_ | `-----------' \|/ ' | | ||\/||")<" /"\|" /"/"\|\ | _____ '-. .--..,__ |_\_/| ||" _> \_/|" \_\_/|"\|_ ) ===->{::::.. _`:- / .-' `""""'` |/_ (@) ` <""|"|/"| /<" >==-=-=-=-=-==-< (@) (@) _> | |\_|"\_> (@) (@) >=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=< \ __, \______/| =======.==. _=-_-"-_|=_=`\_________________________ /___ |")|")/"\/"\|\/| _=_=-_-"| -=_=)========================` `\ |")|"\\_/\_/| | =jgs_=_|=_-./ ^ ======='=='` / || |<""|" |")|_" /"|\ |")|_"|"| || | || ||_"|")|_" \ \_|\_/_> | |")|_ \_|"\|"\|_ |"\_/|_ |/\||"||_ |"\|_ ^ \ //"\| | |")| |"|" "|"| ||_" /"|\ |")|")/"\"|" | \ | \_/\_/ |" \_/ | | |"||_ \_|"\|"\|"\\_/ | . / (art by j.stark) ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Big Boy Toys http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bigboytoys.html Walmart Parking http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/walmartparking.html Amazon Warehouses http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazoncenter.html Cell Phone Madness 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cellphone2.html Unforgettable Photos http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/unforgettable.html Bucket List http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bucketlist3.html Water Rescue Dogs http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/waterrescuedogs.html Chocolate Train http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chocolatetrain.html Short Life Stories http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/lifestories.html Antique Automobiles http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/antiquecars.html Decorating A Man Cave http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mancave.html God's Ice Creations http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/gice.html Ironic Isn't It? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony3.html Life's Little Oops 11 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops11.html Maxine On Winter http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineonwinter.html Christmas And New Years Index http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/christmasindex.html -<>- Some of Shangrala's Best Pages http://www.amazafamily.com/index.html -<>- These Writers Flat-Out Hated Adaptations Of Their Work From Cracked.com: You'd think writers and musicians would be delighted to see their work adapted for the big and medium-sized screen. It's a fresh take, and they get lots of fame and money. But as it turns out, sometimes creative types are absolutely horrified by what Hollywood does with their work. And there are tears. Just so many tears. https://tinyurl.com/y6wsletp 10 Bizarre Elf Fan Theories From MentalFloss.com: Revisit this Christmas classic on its 15th anniversary, we're taking a look at some intriguing, amusing, and just plain weird Elf fan theories covering everything from Buddy the Elf's origins to the film's secret sequels. https://tinyurl.com/yah5ttna Here Are The 21 Worst Excuses To Miss Work, Like Ever From Cracked.com: Everyone needs a day off, now and then. Unfortunately, unless you work for some hippie company that allows mental health days, getting a break from the daily grind requires some subterfuge. Weirdly, every company seems to have staff who either don't care or aren't smart enough to come up with a plausible excuse. So we've all worked with people who tried to get away with weird, dumb, or transparent reasons for not showing up. For example... https://tinyurl.com/ybe8ymt6 Celebrity Nooz Your source for news and gossip! Keep up to date with celebrity news, top stories, movie reviews, and 'Where Are They Now' profiles! https://www.celebritynooz.com/ The Muppets: Gonzo's Dangerous and Foolish Stunt Game No one knows ridiculously dangerous and downright foolish stunts like The Great Gonzo. Play this Muppets game where you will throw Gonzo in a cannon trying to get him into a bucket of stunt water. See how many points you can get before you smash Gonzo on the floor. http://www.kidsgamesheroes.com/play/the-muppets-flying-gonzo Tetrical Tetrical is a three dimensional (3D) stacking game. The object of the game is to obtain the highest score by filling layers with falling polycubes. http://www.tetrical.com/ -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Upon their passing, these men have requested to be returned to the USS Arizona so they can lie in peace with their shipmates for eternity. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgE2KiPd3xg VJ Day celebration along Kalakaua Avenue in Waikiki.This is some wonderful color film of the celebration that occurred when the Victory over Japan was announced in World War Two. The end of the fighting in the Pacific was a welcome relief for everyone so there certainly was cause to celebrate. Filmed with Kodak Kodachrome 16mm film by Richard Sullivan’s dad. https://vimeo.com/5645171 --- ...Wowsers - Sweet! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Experts are warning holiday shoppers to check the spelling of websites because there are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a store's name. Yep, they said if you want more info on this, just look it up on Goggle." -Jimmy Fallon "Washington, D.C., 7-Eleven stores have begun selling Dorito-coated cheese sticks. Because when 7-Eleven drops food on the floor, they don't give up." -Seth Meyers "Today, the stock market hit an all-time high. Which is great news, because if there's one thing we've learned over the past decade it's that if Wall Street executives are doing well, regular Americans are doing well." -James Corden "The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream." --Bill Murray "There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed." --Peter Sellers "In the end, everything is a gag." --Charlie Chaplin "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." --Lily Tomlin "Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value." --Albert Einstein "A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be." --Wayne Gretzky "I never know how much of what I say is true." - Bette Midler "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." - Groucho Marx "TV is chewing gum for the eyes." - Frank Lloyd Wright >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************