Humor From Great Minds And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super sizzling hot new page is from our friend Linda. It is one that is sure to astound you! Can you imagine starting in the middle of a piece of paper with a black marker and by circling around and around in one huge spiral you make a copy of a famous portrait? That's what this artist was commissioned to do from an art supply company. It is just mind boggling! Be sure to watch the video here too... ________________________ |.----------------------.| || || || ______ || || .;;;;;;;;. || || /;;;;;;;;;;;\ || || /;/` `-;;;;; . .|| || |;|__ __ \;;;| || ||.-.|;| e`/e` |;;;| || || |;| | |;;;|'--|| || |;| '- |;;;| || || |;;\ --' /|;;;| || || |;;;;;---'\|;;;| || || |;;;;| |;;;| || || |;;.-' |;;;| || ||'--|/` |;;;|--.|| ||;;;; . ;;;;.\;;|| ||;;;;;-.;_ /.-;;;;;;|| ||;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|| ||jgs;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|| '------------------------' One Giant Spiral Art! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/onespiralart.html --- ...What awesome talent! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: It can't be me after all, ;%%%; I am only a %o.o% Hand Doll `=´ \/ _ _(\@/)_ _ / (_}_Y Y_{_) / \ /_____\ /___/ ___ /___o| \ / / \ / / \ / / \ / / \_ \/ / |\_ / / | \_ / | \___/ MJP The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday. When the day came, her mother felt she had been too harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was one of gloom and unhappiness. "What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the picnic," her mother said. "It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain." -<>- >Rules 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. 3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right." 4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. 6. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was, "Go! You might meet somebody!" 7. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them. 8. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?" 9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee. 10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 11. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. 12. Work is good, but it's not that important. 13. And finally... Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ June 20 is Ice Cream Soda Day June 21 is Go Skate Day and International Yoga Day June 22 is National Chocolate Eclair Day June 23 National Columnists Day and National Pink Day June 24 is Swim a Lap Day and Take Your Dog to Work Day June 25 is Log Cabin Day and National Catfish Day June 26 is Beautician's Day and Forgiveness Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: .---------------------------. /,--..---..---..---..---..--. `. //___||___||___||___||___||___\_| [j__ ######################## [_| \============================| .==| |"""||"""||"""||"""| |"""|| /======"---""---""---""---"=| =|| |____ []* ____ | ==|| // \\ // \\ |===|| hjw "\__/"---------------"\__/"-+---+' >Left Behind A tour bus driver accidentally left a passenger behind after they had stopped for lunch. Wanting to apologize, the driver called the passenger's cell phone. "I don't blame you," the woman told him, "but I'm mad at my husband for not informing you that I had missed the bus." -<>- >Radar Trap My sister's husband drove right into a radar trap. And because she was following him in her car, the police officer nabbed her too. After the officer had written up one ticket, he approached my sister. Her defense was that she was merely following her husband. When that appeal failed, she tried another tack: "Do you give family discounts?" -<>- >Important Speech A chief executive of a major company was scheduled to address an important convention, so he asked the press officer to write him a punchy, twenty-minute speech. But when the chief executive returned from the convention, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech." he raged at the press officer. "Most of the audience walked out before I was even halfway through!" The press officer was mystified. "I wrote you a twenty-minute speech," he said. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for." -<>- >Celery After my husband asked me to help him shed some unwanted pounds, I stopped serving fattening TV snacks and substituted crisp celery. While he was unenthusiastically munching on a stalk one night, a commercial caught his attention. As he watched longingly, a woman spread gooey chocolate frosting over a freshly baked cake. When it was over, my husband turned to me. "Did you ever notice," he asked, "that they never advertise celery on TV?" -<>- >Chocolate Chip Cookie During our church's worship service, the pastor invites all the young children to join him near the altar for the "Children's Moments Sermon." One day, with seven small children in attendance, he spoke about the ingredients required to make up a church, using a chocolate- chip cookie as an example. He explained to the children that, as with a cookie requiring ingredients such as sugar and eggs, the church needed ingredients to make up the congregation. Holding a cookie aloft, he asked, "If I took the chocolate chips out of this cookie, what would I have?" A shy six-year-old raised his hand. "Six less grams of fat," he replied. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) .-----. / '. ' .\ |_.__'_.|} (=(_)^(_)=) ;, > ,; ;;;~~~;;; ___.';;;;;'.__ /'`\ `\ /` /`'\ / | | | | \ jgs( | |\_/| | @~ ) | | | | | | | /| | | |\ | \ || | | || / ( || | | || ) | || |___| || | \ ||___|[_]|___O| / | | / \O| | >SMILES A man finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates to heaven. In front of them, stands a guardian angel. As the man approaches, the angel greets him and warns him it is not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the fellow religious in life? No? The guardian angel told him that's bad. Was he generous? Gave money to the poor? Charities? No? The guardian angel told him that that too was bad. Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? The guardian angel was becoming concerned. Exasperated, the angel says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometimes. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!" The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet, and went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face". "Wow", said the angel, "That's actually very impressive. When did this happen"? "Oh, about 10 minutes ago." ------- While touring historic buildings in Alexandria, Virginia, we visited an old church. The guide told us that George Washington had attended services there and pointed to his pew. A reverent silence fell. The guide, encouraged by this, went on to tell us that church services back then had been very lengthy -- frequently lasting three hours or more. The mood of the moment was shattered when an anonymous voice whispered loudly, "So George Washington slept here too!" -------- Two guys immigrate to America. On their first day off the boat they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My gosh. Do they eat dogs in America?" "I don't know!" says the other, equally appalled. "Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans, so we must do as they do." They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please." The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch. One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Uh, which part of the dog did you get?" -------- One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although 'nothing happened,' he decided not to mention it to his wife. Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window. They arrived at the theater a short time later and were about to get out of the car when his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" -------- As I pulled into a crowded parking lot, I asked the cop standing there, "Is it all right to park here?" "No," he replied. "Can’t you see that 'No Parking' sign?" "What about all those other cars in there?" He shrugged. "They didn’t ask." -------- Irving took Harry to a celebratory dinner at a really posh restaurant. They walked in, were ushered to a table by a formally dressed maitre d', and sat down at a table on which were displayed the finest china and crystal. Taking the damask napkin from the solid silver napkin ring, Harry unfolded it, put it around his neck and proceeded to tie a knot in the back. Staring at him, the maitre d' said, between gritted teeth, "Sir, will you be having a shave or a haircut?" -------- A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died." After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She asks: "What's the story?" He replies: "Just crap in the carburetor." She inquires, "And how often do I have to do that?" --- ...Oh My! LOL! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- __.............__ .--""``` ```""--. ':--..___ ___..--:' \ ```"""""""``` / .-` ___.....-----.....___ '-. .:-""`` ~ ~ ``""-:. /`-..___ ~ ~ ~___..-'\ / ~ '`""---.........---""` \ ; ; ; '::. ' ~ .:' _. ; | '::: ' .:' ~ | |~ .:' . _ ':. | | .:' ':.~ | | ':. . ~ . _ .: | ; '::. _ /|| .;' ; ; ': ( } \||D ; \.:'.:':. | /\__,=_[_] / \ ':. ~ |_\__ |----| ` / '. '::.. _ | |/ |--. |_ ~ .' '-._':' | /_ | | `'-_.-' jgs (``''--..._____...--''``) `"--...__ __...--"` ````` >Beware of new Facebook 'Friend' request scam If you're like most people, you like to hang out on Facebook and exchange messages with your family and friends. Watch out! Your friends may not be your friends. Criminals are targeting your personal details with a deceptive new Facebook scam. This one is especially sinister. It goes after your trust factor. Here's how it works: You're sitting on Facebook. Suddenly, you get a friend request. Everything is pretty common. It happens all the time. You probably wouldn’t think twice about accepting a friend request from a familiar face or longtime friend. But you have to ask yourself: “Am I already friends with them?” If the answer is yes, the request is likely a scam by a criminal up to no good. The new tactic works like this: A criminal re-creates someone’s existing Facebook profile using that person’s profile picture and “About” information. They use the phony new profile to send friend requests to that same person’s Facebook friends. If you accept, you’ve just given this stranger access to the many personal details on your profile: status updates, location, date of birth and photos. Those simple details, in the hands of today’s cyber criminals, can be used to steal your full identity and wreak havoc with your entire life. Posing as you, the scammer can also message your friends asking for money or trying to meet up in person. If you get a friend request from an existing friend, verify that the request is real. And of course, be very wary of friend requests from people you don’t know. Your best way to stay protected is to tighten your security settings so that only your Facebook friends can view your profile, photos and other info. Also, go into the “Friends” section of your activity log. At the top, it says, “Who can see your friend list?” In the drop-down, select “Friends,” rather than “Public.” --- ...Yes. Bothersome for sure! Thanks LouiseAu! I've gotten so if the person asking to be friends doesn't have but a few friends, I won't accept them. I kept getting ones who would immediately message me after friending them and want to start up a conversation. If that wasn't a red flag enough, it generally took the direction of the person being in some need of financial assistance of some sort. I could tell they were not who they were saying they were and could imagine this guy in a foreign country like Nigeria sitting at his computer pretending to be the person pictured talking to me. Crazy. like I was going to fall for his act! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) _,,,_ //_\\\\ ;/ \\\\; ( '7' ) ; _ ; \ _ / .---)_(---. /\\ <_> //\ ; > / \ <' _; | | | | | | _____| |\_|_|_/_ |_______ / / / / / /| / \/==/------, /==/ //| / (\( - / \\( //|| / / ~~~~ / // || / '------' // || /__________________________// || |-------------------------;; || || || | || |==|| || || || || |==||==| || || || ||jgs|/ / / / / || |/ || (__/ (__/ || || || || || |/ |/ >HUMOR FROM GREAT MINDS... "As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.." -Sir Norman Wisdom "One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money." -Edgar Watson Howe "A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!" -Doug Larson "A harmful truth is always better then..a useful lie!" -Eric Bolton "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me." -Erno Philips "I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'." -Robert Paul "We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up." -Phyllis Diller "Laughter is the closest distance between two people." -Victor Borge "Start every day with a smile and get it over with." -W.C. Fields "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." -Will Rogers "Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day." -Mickey Rooney "Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison." -Tim Allen "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Woody Allen "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." -Erica Jong "Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive." -Elbert Hubbard "Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use." -Wendell Johnson "In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out." -Joey Adams "I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me." -Henry Youngman "Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?" -Benny Hill --- ...BwaaaHaHaHaHa! Rich! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Sharia Advisors – Barack Obama's Muslim Appointees in High Security Positions http://freedomoutpost.com/sharia-advisers-barack-obamas-muslim-appointees/ -<>- >From AmericanActionNews: Happy Father's Day/Flag Day A Father's Day Message From a Great American President https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab5EPd_cxBI You Won't Believe How this Military Dad Surprised His Kids on Father's Day https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKnVnJERpbg -<>- Democrats and Republicans differ wildly on what caused Sunday’s mass shooting in Orlando, according to a new poll. The Gallup survey released Friday said most Democrats blame domestic gun violence, while most Republicans condemn Islamic terrorism. http://tinyurl.com/hd7aflg --- ...Obama has our country so divided we can't even agree on this horrific massacre! Like they say - 'United we stand - Divided We Fall!' Seems that is what Obama wants - our country is more divided now then I remember it ever being. He even wants to scrub the Islamic terrorist's 911 call praising ISIS! Doesn't fit Obama's gun violence agenda... http://tinyurl.com/zq6xwe3 -<>- Chuck Norris Bombshell:L Norris explained that Clinton wants to keep importing Muslims into America — Muslims, he wrote, who might someday take direct action to fight back against what they see as the moral corruption of the world because of gay rights. “You might not agree with Donald Trump’s temporary ban on Muslim refugees coming into America until we properly figure out how to vet them all, but at least he’s standing against jihadists and, in so doing, standing up for the LGBT community and not increasing the risks for more Orlando massacres on U.S. soil,” Norris concluded While conservatives may not agree with the lifestyle choices of members of gays, lesbians and transgenders, we can all agree that in this country — this free country — we all have the right to make our own choices, not be slaughtered just because of who we are attracted to. http://conservativetribune.com/chuck-norris-bombshell/ All the news: http://rightalerts.com -<>- >From AFA: Urgent Prayer Request from Tim Wildmon I have accepted an invitation to meet tomorrow (Tuesday) with presidential candidate Donald Trump in New York. Along with other pro-family, Christian leaders, we have a great opportunity to communicate our values to Mr. Trump to make sure our voices and positions are heard. I would appreciate your prayers, asking God to give me the opportunity to share our Christian position on life, marriage, religious liberty and national security with Mr. Trump. This is not an endorsement of the candidate, but a sincere effort to let him know that America can only be great again if government returns to the Biblical values held by our nation's founders. Thank you in advance for praying for me and for the influence of American Family Association. Tim Wildmon, President American Family Association http://www.afa.net/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: If you can keep your mom from getting high, that's good. But if you can also make a few quick bucks while doing it, so much the better, right? That was the attitude of the young man in today's story, unfortunately for him, his mother did not appreciate his altruism. A Florida mother was arrested and given a court order to stay away from her son after she was arrested for burning her son's hand on a stove as punishment. The boy and his sister were placed in the custody of a family member. 34-year-old Zayme Flores of Orlando, is accused of burning the hands of her 15-year-old son on a hot stove as punish- ment for him selling her drugs. Police said the concerned son took a bag marijuana, which he found under the sink of his parents' bathroom, and sold it so that they would not get high. When Flores learned of her son's actions, she forced his hand onto a hot stove and burned him. When police arrived at the family's home, they said that the boy had blisters on his hands consistent with being burned. Flores was arrested on charges of felony child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. *-- More Than One Way to Earn Your Allowance --* A woman was arrested on a charge of child neglect after allegedly forcing her children to blow into an anti-drunk driving device in her car so she would be able to drive while under the influence of alcohol, according to police in Oklahoma. Police said that they have arrested 36-year- old Kayla Kathleen Martin-Weliwita, after being accused of being drunk in public and asking others to unlock her car by blowing into the ignition interlock system outside the Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant. According to the police investigation, Martin-Weliwita forced her 13-year-old and 9-year-old daughters to blow into the ignition-interlock system because she was too intoxicated to override the device and start her car. Employees of the Buffalo Wild Wings called police after seeing the woman fighting with her daughter in the parking lot. Martin-Weliwita was charged with child neglect, child abuse and public intoxication. She was booked into the Tulsa Jail, and her bail was set at $100,100. *----- Motorized 'Off-Road' Roller Blades -----* >From the inventor of screen doors on submarines, a Polish inventor came up with a way to take his roller blades "off road" by powering the wheels with an electric motor. The video shows inventor Jacek Skopinski testing out his self- propelled "off road" roller blades by taking them over surfaces including dirt lots, grassy fieldsand other rough terrain. The roller blades are powered by electric motors attached to the rear of the skates that are connected with a wire to a control Stopinski holds in his hand. *---------- That's Not How the Law Works ----------* A mother wants $40 million from people who attended a party for failing to protect her drunk daughter. The New York mother is suing the owners of a house in the Hamptons and 100 unidentified guests because they did not realize that her daughter drowned in a pool. 29-years-old Olya Lipina died during an all night party. Her body was found only around noon the next day, floating in the pool. The death was ruled accidental. Now, her mother, Alla Lipina-Skyba from Brooklyn, has filed a civil lawsuit. However, she is not only suing the homeowners, Daniel and Linda Finer, and Laura Edith Kreft, but she is also suing the 100 party goers, claiming that they were negligent by allowing her daughter to get so drunk. *-- Bride in Wedding Gown Saves Woman With CPR --* A newlywed woman still in her bridal gown after her wedding reception stopped on her way to a Pittsburgh hotel to give CPR to an unresponsive woman. Julie Stroyne Nixon left her wedding reception with husband just before midnight, when they heard a call for help outside of the Westin Convention Center. "We were just about to go through the doors," Nixon told said, "and then we heard somebody scream, 'Does anybody know CPR? Is anybody a doctor?'" Nixon, a trauma nurse, jumped into action. "I looked over, and I think my nursing instincts took over," she said, "And I bolted over to the bench to see if she was all right." Nixon said the woman was barely breathing when she arrived. "I started compressions right away. They told me she didn't have a pulse," she said. The newlywed nurse said the woman gradually started to recover. "Never knew that would happen on my wedding night!" Nixon said. "There's no time off." *----- Motorized 'Off-Road' Roller Blades -----* From the inventor of screen doors on submarines, a Polish inventor came up with a way to take his roller blades "off road" by powering the wheels with an electric motor. The video shows inventor Jacek Skopinski testing out his self- propelled "off road" roller blades by taking them over surfaces including dirt lots, grassy fieldsand other rough terrain. The roller blades are powered by electric motors attached to the rear of the skates that are connected with a wire to a control Stopinski holds in his hand. *---------- That's Not How the Law Works ----------* A mother wants $40 million from people who attended a party for failing to protect her drunk daughter. The New York mother is suing the owners of a house in the Hamptons and 100 unidentified guests because they did not realize that her daughter drowned in a pool. 29-years-old Olya Lipina died during an all night party. Her body was found only around noon the next day, floating in the pool. The death was ruled accidental. Now, her mother, Alla Lipina-Skyba from Brooklyn, has filed a civil lawsuit. However, she is not only suing the homeowners, Daniel and Linda Finer, and Laura Edith Kreft, but she is also suing the 100 party goers, claiming that they were negligent by allowing her daughter to get so drunk. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) @@@@@@@@ @@_ _@@ @ o\ /o @ ( > ) \ == / .--\____/--. .---\ '----' /----. jgs / `-. .-' \ One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her." George was brokenhearted. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June." Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half sister too, George. I'm awfully sorry about this." George was livid! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news his father had shared. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half sister." "Oh, " his mother shakes her head, "Don't pay any attention to what he says. He's not even really your father." -<>- My wife and I went into Palm Springs and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I then called him a bad name. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. Then my wife also called him a bad name. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. He finally finished, sneered at us both and walked away. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with Hillary 2016 bumper stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It’s so important at our age!! --- ...Oh Gee! LOL! Thanks Geniann! -<>- ,;;;, ;;;;;;; .-'`\ '/_ .' \ ("`(_) / `-,.'\ \_/ \ \/\ `--` \ \ \ / /| | /_/ |_| jgs ( _\ ( _\ #:## #:## #:## #:## #:## #:## #:## [Politics] Michelle Obama reminded attendees of a Naturalization Ceremony Wednesday that the Founding Fathers weren't born in America. The ceremony for 50 new U.S. citizens was held at the National Archives in Washington, D.C. She said during her speech, referring to the Declaration of Independence, "It's amazing that just a few feet from here where I'm standing are the signatures of the 56 Founders who put their names on a Declaration that changed the course of history, and like the 50 of you, none of them were born American - they became American." Excuse me? Did she actually mean that those who signed the Declaration of Independence and participated in the drafting of the Constitution were not born in America? Benjamin Franklin was born in Pennsylvania. Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, and James Madison were born in Virginia. John Adams was born in Massachusetts. Only eight of the 56 were not born in America. Surely she knew this. But, then again, maybe not. After all, she is a Harvard graduate. Isn't she? As John Wayne said, "Life's tough. It's tougher when you're stupid." And by the way, THE CONSTITUTION WAS NOT SIGNED IN WASHINGTON D.C.! It was signed in Philadelphia! I guess it's true, you just can't fix stupid. --- ...Haha! Thanks Geninann! I, of course looked this up on the left leaning Snopes site http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/quotes/naturalization.asp and they spun it saying that of course she said this but she didn't mean it! They assume to know what she was thinking when she said it and that she didn't directly say what it appears that she is saying. Anyone watching Judge Judy court cases will know that you cannot say what someone else is thinking or not thinking. You can only go by what they actually said which is what they admit she did say. Just like when Obama Claimed He's Visited 57 States https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpGH02DtIws ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: .-""-.--. ( ? ) ( ) '--'--' () /""""" O | (')') o C _) \ _| \__/ <___Y> / \ :\\ / | :|\ |___| :|/\ | | :|\ \ \ \ :| \ \_ \ \==L| \\\ ///` || | || | || | || | || | || | || [___]] jgs (____)) During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the back of the room. Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't need if you had stayed single." -<>- My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story. We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?" My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor." -<>- _.-"""""-._ / .--.....-.\ / / \\ || || || .--. .--|/ /` . \ . | \_ _) | | ,____, ; | \ `--' / _./\ '.____.' _.:::| `\ |\:._ .::::::::`\ '. / /::::. /jgs::::::::|/::\/:\|:::::\ The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disap- pointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who was looking for bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store." -<>- The company my brother worked for had a phone system that rerouted after-hours calls. If any calls came in on a certain line while he was working late, Dave knew it would be a wrong number. It got to the point where as soon as the phone rang, Dave would pick up and say, "Psychic Hotline. I'm sorry, but you've dialed the wrong number." The caller would often reply with something like, "But I didn't even ask to speak to anyone yet. How did you know I dialed the wrong.... Oh!" (Click.) -<>- sSSSSSs S),, SSSS S- ?SSS S_~ SSS _.-''--. ( \ / `) \||, )( '(-` / ( \\/ /\ / \ \ \./ )==( / / / \//' ; '|\` |______/ | / / |/ / ;( ( jgs | \ \ | |\ \ |_/.\_| / ) / ) /_/|/_/| A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier's window and smiled. "I'd like to cash this check, please," she said, handing it over. The teller examined the check and said: "Could you identify yourself, Miss?" For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes! It's me, all right!" The clerk said, "No Ma'am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification." The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. "This is a recent family photo," she ex- plained. "That's me, third from the left." -<>- A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!" -<>- .-. ## ) * _.-+*'`*+-._ ,## _ _ #. ;### ((.;;.)) ##: .=._.; ,-*:;;:*-. *##:._.=, >##; *-')_@@_(`-* ;###< ---------------`****------(o `` o)-----*****'-------------e:l `-""-' A young city boy visiting a dude ranch wanted to be appear macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands. As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, "Say, isn't that fine-looking bunch of cows over there." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' it's 'herd.'" "Heard what?" "Herd of cows." "Sure, I've heard of cows!" finished the city boy excitedly, "there's a big bunch of 'em right over there." -<>- ^..^ <( )> \ / /(oo)\ // / -- \ oo) //| __ |\\ //U\ H (/oo\) H (/ H |\oo/| -=/ \=- \ /\ / ( _ ) U U | | H H _l l_ ~ ~ apx Cow & Chicken (cartoon series) >A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING: Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for much but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Why Trump? http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whytrump.html Humor In Politics 13!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics13.html What I've Learned In Life!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/learnedinlife.html High Tech Toys 2!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/techtoys2.html Morons at Work 3!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/mwork3.html IRONIC, Isn't It 2?- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/irony2.html Israel's 9/11 Tribute!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/israeltribute.html Life's Little Oops 14!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops14.html Celebrity Private Jets!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/celebrityjets.html Proud Of Our Troops 7!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/troops7.html Our Valuable ANCHOR!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/ouranchor.html Thinkers And Their Desks!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/desks.html 9/11 Where God Wants Me!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wheregodwantsme.html Inspirational Movie Quotes!- http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moviequotes.html -<>- >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu Courage is not normally a word you would associate with cats, but these audacious bunch take boldness to a whole new level. In this short clip, some very bold cats were brave enough to chase a bear away! Whilst at the six-second mark, one cat was able to let itself out of its cage like a pro, but what another cat does at 57- seconds... I couldn't believe it... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heCmHV6RWqk Funny Cats 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tntOCGkgt98 Funny Cats 2 http://tinyurl.com/gmumh9f --- ...LOL! Lots of smiles here! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) She sent us one we have here... Last Shot! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lastshot.html --- ...LOL! So funny! Thanks Linda! Beautiful photos! (click on photo to advance to next) Some of these are absolutely breathtaking. Of interest is the photo taken from Father Serra’s Cross hilltop in Ventura: Wow what a lightning show! http://tinyurl.com/z4ub8xe --- ...Sweet! Thanks Linda! The first minute or so will fool you, so hang on... KEEP WATCHING https://www.youtube.com/embed/3RW4R3N8Ju8?feature=player_embedded --- ...Thanks Linda! I often find politics boring and other times infuriating. While many are turned off by politics, it is a fact of our adult life that we, as Americans, must persevere and actually let our voices be heard for our take on the candidate for President that will be the best person for our lives, our families lives, our friends lives and for the entire future of the United States Of America. It is a huge obligation but like many things we have to take on as adults, such as raising a family, it is well worth the tedious effort we must put forth for our own happiness and welfare. This is why I often throw politics at you my Christian, God loving friends - So that you can make the best educated choices that I know will impact all of us. It is a huge obligation that I know I can count on you to do. God's people are, after all, the very best people in our great Nation! -<>- >From Our Friend EdLaF :) Obama's Recovery In Just 9 Charts http://tinyurl.com/zo5956x --- ...Thanks Ed! Daisy's comment here was a good one... 6.9% Growth in population, 2007-2015 0.3% Growth in full-time jobs, 2007-2015 -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) Obama it was you... http://tinyurl.com/gvvas69 --- ...He sure does make it seem true! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Two thieves stole $16,000 worth of iPhones from a New York Apple store by dressing as Apple 'Geniuses.' Police are on the lookout for two 'Actual Geniuses.'" -Conan O'Brien "A European perfume company has released a series of 'Star Wars' themed scents called Empire, Jedi, and Amidala. It's the perfect cologne for what is almost certainly your first date." -Seth Meyers "Last night, the last primary was held in Washington, D.C. The primaries being over reminds me what my brother used to say when I was a kid: 'I'm going to keep punching you in the face but it will feel so good when it's over.'" -Stephen Colbert "A British tech company has debuted new technology that lets clothing store mannequins talk about the outfit they are displaying. Said the inventor, 'The idea came to me in a nightmare.'" -Seth Meyers "Scientists have discovered a species of fish that surrounds itself with uglier fish in order to look more attractive. However, scientists could not identify which sorority it belongs to." -Jimmy Fallon "Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun." -Conan O'Brien "A clothing company is going to release a $99 wedding dress. The $99 wedding dress is the perfect way to tell your man, 'I do, I guess.'" -Conan O'Brien "A judge in New Jersey ruled that women can keep their husbands and boyfriends out of the delivery room while they are in labor. When asked if they'd mind leaving the room, the husbands and boyfriends were already gone." -Jimmy Fallon "A scientist and a chef teamed up to test whether or not lobsters can feel pain. Apparently, the hardest part is getting a lobster to sit still long enough to watch 'The Notebook.'" -Seth Meyers "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers." --Doug Larson "Remember...a developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already owns a house in the woods." --Dennis Miller >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************