I Am Thankful... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) ================ .0. / \ ; \_/ ; | | | | | | _______; ;_______ `======='\ /`=======` \ / _ | | _ PRAISE GOD! _( \____|=|____/ )_ ( .---. .---. ) ShangralaFamilyFun.com Is Back On-line! `-' / \ '-' / HUG \ GROUP HUGGUMS! :) ; ; | .---.|__, jgs : / :--' .--\ \ | `" `"".-' < =""` `"== `""""""` =""` `"""===="""` =""` `""==="""` >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super piping hot one is from our friend KarenF. This one is simply fascinating! Make sure you give it plenty of time to load and check it out here... _ ,' '. / \ ^ | _ | ^ | || / \ || | | |||.-.||| | | ||| ||| | | ||| ||| | | ||| ||| | | ||| ||| | | ,' '. | ,'__ __`. /____ | ____\ /_\ |_|_| /_\ .: : : :. : . : . : : :: :: :: : : .: :. : : .: :.: : :. : . : : .: : :: : jrei .: . : : .. Space Trivia Facts http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/spacetrivia.html --- ...Wow! A lot of amazing things here! Thanks KarenF! -<>- , ----. - - ` ,__.,' \ .' *` / | | / **\ . / ****. | mm | ****| \ | ****| ` ._______ \ ****/ \ /`---' \___( /~~~~\ / \ / | \ | | \ , ~~ . |, ~~ . | |\ ( |||| ) ( |||| )(,,,)` ( |||||| )-( |||||| ) | ^ ( |||||| ) ( |||||| ) |'/ ( |||||| )-( |||||| )___,'- ( |||| ) ( |||| ) ` ~~ ' ` ~~ ' >We Had Another Great Month Of Caring And Sharing! :) *~* BE SURE TO VISIT AND SHARE ALL OF THESE NEW PAGES! Noah's Ark! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/noahsark2.html Autumn World! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/autumn.html Amazing Photos 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingphotos2.html Amazing Photos 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazingphotos3.html Animals In Fall! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animalsinfall.html Thoughts Into Action 6! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/action6.html Cockatoo Story! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/cockatoos.html Extreme Pumpkins 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/pumpkin2.html Bucket List! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bucketlist.html _ ______ / `'. ,-"` '. / /'-.'. ___ .' \ \/ '.\.' ' | .| .'`\ | /`"'--., / \ , _.--'` \/_ | ,----.| _ `_--;` ``` `\-. | | \ | -- C -- _/ \ \ | \ 0 0 / . | | \| ) | '. _.' |.__/ ; \ `'---` / / __ '. .' | (__) /'-._____,-` \ /---'.-""-.\ '. / ||,- \\ ;---`;-._||-= |\ , ."""-. \ ) `|'.___.' \ ___ \'. / '-. \ /`-`-; / \ ,/ `) \ \| \ `` | | \|| / /'.| )_ / || | | \/ .' \ \ .-'/ ` |` |.-' .-~ ~-~-._ |.'` \ ` '-. \___/,__/ ~` _ `~~-., `-.,_\_)`-.,_\) `~-,___ ~___~,,..-~~/ jgs \___/`\____/'._.' *~* WE ESPECIALLY THANK ALL OUR CONTRIBUTORS! MAY GOD BLESS YOU!! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: Two Free Tickets To The Show _ mMm _[_]_ A young couple got married and went away on /(")\ (") their honeymoon. After two weeks they came //)^(\\//:\\ back and finally put away all of the presents /(/&@&\\/|~|/ they received from friends and family. Since / /-~`~-\ ||| this was a new home, the process took some `/ \||| time. `----------'-- The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom drawers. A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line. "Guess who sent them." The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: "Now you know!" ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ December 2 is National Fritters Day December 3 is National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day December 4 is Wear Brown Shoes Day December 5 is National Sacher Torte Day December 6 is National Gazpacho Day and Mitten Tree Day December 7 is National Cotton Candy Day December 8 is Take It In The Ear Day ======================================================= ,--""""-., .'` ', / | | _ / __,'(,-'/ `\ _. / .=="=| '-. | .'===,=|-. | / /===\==\| \ \ _;' | |====\==\ '.___,u' \__/ |===.##,=\ |==/####\='-.__ \#|#####|`/^|_))._________________ #######/`| |_.-'""""""=' ] #####/\/ /__,________;------.---' jgs `###' |_/ V V >-->From GoodCleanFun: >Are You OK? A fifteen-year-old boy came bounding into the house and found his mom in bed. He asked if she were sick or something. He was truly concerned. Mom replied that, as a matter of fact, she didn't feel too well. The son replied, "Well, don't worry a bit about dinner. I'll be happy to carry you down to the stove." -<>- >Doctor's Advice A middle-aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check-up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." The man said, "Well, to be honest with you, Doc, I don't deserve the best. What's the second best?" -<>- >Favorite? One day my two sons were having an argument. I listened in and overheard the older say to the younger: "Even if you were an only child, you still wouldn't be Mom and Dad's favorite." -<>- ,--.,-"";-"-. .-;-/ / / .- `\ .-. ` ( ' ' ` ; `\/ \ \ / \ / (. C . ) | .-. | | _ / (` / | \ /}| | )(\ | `-> (____.| / ||| / \=====| | |\| | |====| \ _/ ` \__/=====| |` `-'======| \ |=======/ | |=======| | .--, ########\ |/ / jgs |_|__|| ` `--. ,---;-'--'\ `--. `---`-------'-.___,___.---' >I Am Thankful..... ...for the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed. ...for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends. ...for the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat. ...for my shadow who watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine. ...for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. ...for all the complaining I hear about the government because it means we have freedom of speech. ...for the spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking. ...for the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear. ...for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear. ...for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive. ...for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I am alive. ...for getting too much e-mail because it lets me know I have friends who are thinking of me. -<>- >Maternity Unit As a nurse in a maternity unit, I've had to answer all kinds of questions from patients and their families. I couldn't help but notice that one expectant father seemed particularly interested in the electronic fetal monitor. "Would it hurt anything if I just turned this dial up and down from time to time?" he asked "No," I answered, "but why would you want to do that?" Smiling wistfully, the dad explained, "I know from experience it's the only time in a child's life I'll be able to control the volume." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) __,=,__ .~`` .` `.``~. | . . |____ `-;=============;""""` ( (. _).) \ | | \ `-.___.' / '._ _.' /`''''\ / \ | |/\/\/\/|.-. |-|/\/\/\/|;' ) (__/_______| _) #########'._) jgs |==|=|__ ,,,(______)_),,,, ,,,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,,,, ,,,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,,, ,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;, >SMILES Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than ten years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half." You're never 36 and a half...you're four and a half going on 5. You get into your teens; now they can't hold you back. You jump into the next number. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16." Then the great day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21...Yes!!! Then you turn 30. What happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. HE TURNED; we had to throw him out. What's wrong? What changed? You BECOME 21; you TURN 30. Then you're PUSHING 40....stay over there. You REACH 50. So you BECOME 21; you TURN 30; you're PUSHING 40; you REACH 50; then you MAKE IT to 60. By then you've built up so much speed, you HIT 70. After that, it's a day by day thing. You HIT Wednesday... You get into you're 80's; you HIT lunch, you HIT 4:30. My grandmother won't even buy green bananas. "Well, it's an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one." And it doesn't end there... Into the 90's, you start going backwards. "I was JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens; if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half." And remember - growing old is only mind over matter: if you don't mind, it don't matter... -<>- Jolene was only 8 years old and lived with family in the country with her parents and brother. Consequently they did not often have visitors from the city. One day Jolene's mother said that father was bringing two guests home for Thanksgiving supper. After they had enjoyed the turkey, Jolene went to the kitchen to help her mother, and proudly brought in the first piece of pumpkin pie and gave it to her father. He then passed the plate to a guest. When Jolene came in with the second piece and gave it to his father, he again gave it to a guest. This was too much for Little Jolene, who blurted out, 'It's no use, Daddy. The pieces are all the same size.' -<>- _____ .---...-. ,' -. `. ,' _____...' / - _ - \ : .' _ _ \\ : ' _)' : | :-(_).(_):: (_ ;) | | -' || \ _ / ; | _ || `..___..' `-'..____.'`' ;._: _; :_ / \ SSt ,' `' `. SSt >"THE HOUSTON HERALD NEWSPAPER" Last Thursday Night Around midnight, A Woman >From Houston, Texas Was Arrested, Jailed, And Charged With Manslaughter For Shooting A Man 6 Times In The Back As He Was Running Away With Her Purse. The Following Monday Morning, The Woman Was Called In Front Of The Arraignment Judge, Sworn In, And Asked To Explain Her Actions. The Woman Replied, "I Was Standing At The Corner Bus Stop For About 15 Minutes, Waiting For The Bus To Take Me Home After Work.. I Am A Waitress At A Local Cafe.....I Was There Alone, So I Had My Right Hand On My Pistol, That Was In My Purse, That Was Hung Over My Left Shoulder. All Of A Sudden I Was Being Spun Around Hard To My Left. As I Caught My Balance, I Saw A Man Running Away From Me With My Purse. I Looked Down At My Right Hand And I Saw That My Fingers Were Wrapped Tightly Around My Pistol.The Next Thing I Remember Is Saying Out Loud, " No Way Punk! You’re Not Stealing My Pay Check And Tips." I Raised My Right Hand, Pointed My Pistol At The Man Running Away From Me With My Purse, And Squeezed The Trigger Of My Pistol 6 Times! When Asked By The Arraignment Judge, "Why Did You Shoot The Man 6 Times? The Woman Replied Under Oath, "Because, When I Pulled The Trigger The 7th Time, It Only Went Click." The Woman Was Acquitted Of All Charges. And She Was Back At Work, At The Cafe, The Next Day! Now that's Gun Control..... -<>- In a recent survey requested by President Obama, African-Americans have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower! In the survey, carried out for him, by a leading toiletries firm, a huge majority -- 86% of African-Americans -- said that they have had sex in the shower. The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet. -------- One evening, after conducting a real hell-fire-and-brimstone revival meeting, the visiting evangelist decided to take a walk, and happened to wander into a nearby red-light district. On a corner, he stopped and, in a powerful voice, he intoned, "Woman, I prayed for you last night." "Well, you could've had me if you'd just come around," she purred. "I was standing right here all night long." -------- A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?" The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running." --- ...LOL! Thanks LouiseA! -<>- ,-"""-. / - -'. db, 0 0 '---. 88b, \ 8888 0 | 8888, '.____,'/ Y88P \ .------' jgs `` |=( / ', | \ | \ | | ; | | | ,_(__/ / `--\ .-' | ||__ / '--.` '------` >Interesting It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times! Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years . Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end. If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off. Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco- related diseases. Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals. Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers. The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year. Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent. Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F. The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean. The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man. Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density. The University of Alaska spans four time zones. The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself. In ancient Greece , tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted. Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. A comet's tail always points away from the sun. The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent. Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines. The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity. If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day. When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight. In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed. Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside. Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams. The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year. The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust. Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters. Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy. Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down. Everything weighs one percent less at the equator. For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off. The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements. --- ...Cool Trivia! Thanks LouiseA! ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: >From BizarreNews: If you have nothing else to be thankful for this holiday season, at least you can thank God you don't live next to this A-hole. An Australian man and his family has set the Guinness World Record - again - for the most Christmas lights on a residential home. It took 502,165 lights and 31 miles of wire, but David Richards and his family have done it again. The family set the record in 2011 with over 331,000 lights, but lost the title to a New York family with more than 346,000 lights in 2012. Each month's electric bill for this holiday spectacle tops $2,345. Lucky for the Richards family, a local power company has offered to foot most of it. The Richards say most of their neighbors support the display, but there are a few who haven't spoken to them since they set the first record. "I have always loved Christmas. Having the Christmas lights with the community coming in and sharing it is a time when you get to know people you probably should know better, I guess," Richards said. --- ...Neighbors just need to put up a sign pointing to this Christmas house that says 'DITTO' - help reduce their stress :) *-- UPS probing pictures of delivery truck sex --* OKLAHOMA CITY - A UPS spokeswoman said the company is investigating photographs appearing to depict a sexual encounter in the back of an Oklahoma delivery truck. Susan Rosenberg, a spokeswoman for the delivery company's corporate office, said officials were investigating after an Oklahoma City-area woman who identifies herself as a "happiness consultant" named "Mary Ann" posted pictures of herself in the back of a UPS truck on her website, KXTV, Oklahoma City, reported Tuesday. The pictures depict Mary Ann with her breasts exposed while wearing an open UPS shirt. "Look at my naughty time from yesterday," a caption on the pictures reads. The pictures were brought to the company's attention by Brian Bates, who uses his JohnTV.com website to expose prostitution in Oklahoma City. "What really shocked me is that a driver would put himself in this position, no pun intended, and then allow the pictures to be posted publicly," Bates said. Bates said the post also included graphic details of Mary Ann's sexual encounter with the driver of the UPS truck. Rosenberg said UPS officials are outraged about the use of company property for the encounter. "It disrespects UPS drivers and customers. This is not behavior we would ever condone for anyone, let alone for our company. We want to assure other drivers and our customers that this will be fully investigated," Rosenberg said. *-- Welsh bar's 'divorce' sign now says 'keeping the dog' --* UPLANDS, Wales - A Welsh bar that posted a sign on behalf of a woman who wanted to tell her husband she was divorcing him changed the sign again to say she is "keeping the dog." Noah's Yard in Uplands, which has a history of changing its sign to give special messages, put up the words "Paul... I am divorcing you" on the exterior of the building during the weekend and the sign was changed Tuesday to read "BTW I am keeping the dog," using the "BTW" text-speak for "by the way," the South Wales Evening Post reported Tuesday. The woman, who asked to remain anonymous, said she asked Noah's Yard to change the sign during the weekend to publicly shame her husband for his alleged infidelity. "I was angry and upset so wanted a sign to go up for everyone to see," she said. "When I found out I went through a mixture of emotions but felt angry and wanted him to pay. I had a drink in the bar on Tuesday and decided to get my own back. We have been married for years and it is so sad it has come to this. I am absolutely devastated and going through a really tough time at the moment. A lot of my friends and family have seen it and have been supporting me. I did feel a bit better once the sign went up. I wanted to name and shame him." It was not certain Tuesday that the dog-themed sign was a request from the same woman, the Evening Post said. *-- 98 voters in 209-member household head to India polls --* KOLKATA, India - The head of India's largest household said election days are a trial for the family of 209, which includes 98 voting-eligible adults. The head of the household, identified as Ziona, 69, said he has 39 wives, 41 sons, 46 daughters, 22 grandsons, 26 granddaughters and seven great-grandchildren all living under the same roof in Mizoram, making it complicated, but not impossible, for the 98 eligible voters to cast their ballots in the state's elections, Gulf News reported Monday. "All the eligible voters of the family have voted. Both the Congress and the opposition have been wooing us, considering addressing our family as a small political rally," Ziona said Monday. "Voting day is a challenge for us since our daily work is affected. Also our mothers and wives cannot do the daily chores," said Ziona, whose oldest wife is 73. *-- Woman named Happy Thanksgiving gets two holidays in one --* MINNEAPOLIS - A Minneapolis doctor preparing to celebrate her birthday on Thanksgiving Day said her parents, "hippies," named her Happy Thanksgiving Reynolds. Reynolds, 43, a family physician, said her parents gave her the unusual name when she was born on Thanksgiving when the holiday fell on the same date 43 years ago, the St. Paul (Minn.) Pioneer Press reported Monday. "I was the child of hippies," Reynolds said. She said they decided the universe was helping them name their newborn. "It was total universe magic time for them," Reynolds said. Reynolds said she has learned to love her name, which she described as an "unintentional gift." She said she has gotten job interviews just because employers were curious to meet someone named Happy Thanksgiving. "I'm someone you're not going to forget based on the name," she said. --- ...Oh - and Colorado thinks pot smoking isn't a problem? ========================================================= .----. _.'__ `. .--(#)(##)---/#\ .' @ /###\ : , ##### `-..__.-' _.-\###/ jgs `;_: `"' .'"""""`. /, JOE ,\ // COOL! \\ `-._______.-' ___`. | .'___ (______|______) >-->From CleanLaffs: Vacationing in Kentucky, a friend and I spent the night at a small motel outside of Louisville. In the morning, I asked the woman at the desk for directions to Churchill Downs. Not able to tell us, she called her husband from the back room. "Churchill Downs?" he asked. "That's the race-track, isn't it?" We nodded. He hesitated and then said, "I'm pretty sure it's somewhere south of the university. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can be much help." At that point his wife left the room. The husband looked over his shoulder to make sure she had disappeared. Then he winked at us, leaned over the counter and whispered, "Take Third Street through town, go past the university and turn right on Central Avenue. After that, just look for the twin spires. You can't miss 'em!" -<>- You know how in first grade they used fruits to explain stuff like "one banana plus two bananas make three bananas"? Here's a list of high school math courses based on bananas: ----- Algebra I - A You have a negative banana (possibly made of antimatter). Add two bananas to it and you get one banana. Algebra I - B You have a banana. Factor it, or solve for apples using the quadratic formula. Geometry Prove: Bananas are not vegetables. Given: Bananas are fruits. Algebra II You have an imaginary banana. Square it, and you get one of those weird anti-matter bananas. The student learns that their dreams will become reality if they only raise them to the fourth power. Pre-Calculus What is the cosecant of Pi over 2 bananas in a unit apple? Calculus AB The student learns to find the slope of a banana. Calculus BC The student learns to find the slope of a banana and also to find the area under the banana. -<>- One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! -<>- Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, a man said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?" "Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it." "I tried," the man sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?" "If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family." Thanking the Priest, the man hurried off. When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. -<>- A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw away from the beach," he was told. "But how will I recognize it?" asked the man. The reply came back: "It's the one with all the broken windows." -<>- George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son. The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro." The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency. Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank." ========================================================= >-->From TheJokester: .o. | | _ , .', L.-'` `\ || __\___,|__--,__`_|__ | % `=` | | ___%_______________| | ` | | -------------------| |____________________| |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| jgs | ---------------| , \| | _______________| / / \. \,\\|, . . /, / |///, / >Fun Things To Do On a Date Warning: Actually doing any of the following will absolutely, positively guarantee that your date will run quickly away from you screaming something about you being completely insane... 1. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice. 2. Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 3. Repeat every third third word you say say. 4. Read a newspaper or book during the meal. Ignore your date. 5. Stand up every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched, and make airplane sounds. 6. Order a bucket of lard. 7. Ask for crayons to color the placemat. This works very well in fancier venues that use linen tablecloths. 8. Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date begins talking about himself/herself. 9. When ordering, inquire whether the restaurant has any live food. 10. Without asking, eat off of your date's plate. Eat more from their plate than they do. 11. Ask the people at the neighboring table for food from their plates. 12. Drool. 13. Chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full, and spray crumbs.If a crumb lands anywhere near your date, pick up the crumb, put it in your mouth and say, "I'm all about conservation." 14. Excuse yourself to use the restroom. Go back to the head waiter/hostess and ask for another table in a different part of the restaurant. Order another meal. When your date finally finds you, ask him/her "What took you so long in the bathroom?!" 15. Beg your date to tattoo your name on their forearm. Keep bringing the subject up periodically throughout the meal. 16. Refuse to communicate in anything but mime for the entire evening. 17. Order a baked potato. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes, and ask the waiter for the potato you "never got". When the waiter returns with another potato, have the first one back on your plate. Watch the waiter's face. 18. Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt. 19. Insist that the waiter cut your food into little pieces. In a similar manner, insist that he take a bite of everything to make sure no one has poisoned your food. 20. Bring a bucket along. Explain that you frequently get ill. ========================================================== ,________________ / \ \ |.-| | .-', | ,_______ | / | """""| | | O\__.--| '-' | ,=` _|______________| ',,,==` `~~~~|||~~~~~~~` ` ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| ||| \\ |||, // jgs . ..::::\\\||////::::.... '' ' "" ' '"" "" "" '' ""' "'' >-->From ScreamOfTheCrop: Quotes: Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. -- Mark Twain The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. -- Samuel Johnson บบบบบบบบบบบบบบ >Why -- I ask WHY? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt"? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN or urologist leave the room when you get undressed if he or she is going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs... What do you call male ballerinas? Can blind people see in their dreams? Do they dream?? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (Stop singing and read on...........) Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? ======================================================== >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Who Is This Jesus http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jesus.html MINI BABY ART! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/baby.html A WOMAN'S DREAM! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/woman.html JOHN SCAPES' BASEMENT! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/basement.html WARD'S 1934 WISH BOOK! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wishbook.html WILLIS (SEARS) TOWER! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/willist.html Extreme US Spas http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/topspas.html Floating Hotel http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fhotel.html Amazing Grace http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/amazinggrace.html Christmas Animations: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs_u-z.html Angels, Churches, Crosses, Doves Animations http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/agifs.html -<>- >From TruthOrTradition: Free online seminars http://www.TruthOrTradition.com/audio Free Online Bible Teachings http://www.stfonline.org/ -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseA :) Matthew Schuler impresses the judges and audience with his interpretation of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah.' http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rYX14jGiXtA The face and voice of natural history films in Britain, David Attenborough is still going strong at 85. He recently wrote and presented Frozen Planet for BBC One, but he still had time to turn out this amazing, heart-warming video for the network. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=auSo1MyWf8g Have you ever seen an ice tsunami? It happened on the south side of Lac des Mille Lacs, Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, on May 11, 2013! It destroyed more than 20 houses in just 15 minutes! The ice looked like fingers creeping up to residences. An unbelievable sight... https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/Wbs8tN8xlxA "I take the challenge thrown by Jean-Claude Van Damme. But I'm not doing it the easy way. Two trucks is fun for kids. A real man can handle four!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfX1RiuBj-w&feature=player_embedded You've got a half a dozen guys, some rope and some logs. You need to get an SUV out of the bottom of a frozen lake. What's your game plan? It's impossible, right? Not in Russia! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MK6419y4N4Q --- ...Great ones! Thanks LouiseA! Reminds me of our one here... Why are they fishing with a tow line and scuba gear? LIFE'S LITTLE OOPS 8! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops8.html ========================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "Thanksgiving is the best. I was so pleased last year. Things were going great, having a lot of fun, the house was full of people, everybody getting along - and then I realized that I had picked up the wrong family at the airport." -Dave Letterman "A company in France is selling a new robot that can play with kids and read them bedtime stories. Kids are calling it a cool and innovative thing to eventually discuss with their therapists." -Jimmy Fallon "The FCC is considering lifting the ban on cellphone calls on planes. The good news is you'll be able to make calls during your flight. The bad news? The person sitting next to you will be able to make cellphone calls during your flight." -Jay Leno "I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry "My mom is very possessive. She calls me up and says things like, 'You weren't home last night. Is something gong on?' I say, 'Yeah Mom, I'm cheating on you with another mother.'" --Heidi Joyce "I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes if see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose." --Rita Rudner "I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry "My mom is very possessive. She calls me up and says things like, 'You weren't home last night. Is something gong on?' I say, 'Yeah Mom, I'm cheating on you with another mother.'" --Heidi Joyce "I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes if see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose." --Rita Rudner >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************