I Am Thankful And More ... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ "We are each of us angels with but one wing, and can only fly by embracing each other" -Luciano Decrescenzo ~ CALLING ALL CARING ANGELS ~ |_| _, _ _ ___ | |(_||_)|_)\_| .'=:-\ ___ | | ._| /.='( ` | |_ _ ,_ |/ , _ . .,_ _ /. ^=.'-._..---. | | |(_|| ||\/_)(_|||/|| |(_| | =^.'=.'^//"(_`\\)8, ._| ._| |^.'=' .=||/' `\||;8.-' \'.^,=^'.||; ; ||8/:_,_ give thanks... './-`\= \\\.-./;//,_/`- \ jgs \__/-/'-\888::((()),_ /:. .O__/ (_88:::(())):. `8':. ' *~* WE NEED MORE 2009 CARING And SHARING Angels *~* >Do You Want To Be A Shangrala Angel? If you'd like to help and be counted as a 2009 Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY! ================ .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. __, ,____) _______) (--| | (--| _, (_, |__| _, _ _ | |_ _ ._ |__) , _ ' ',_ _ _| |(_||_)|_)(_| _| | |(_|| || \ /_)(_||\/|| |(_| ( | | ,_| ( |_, \_, ,_| ,_| .:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:. >-->In The 'Shangy' News :) I Am Most Thankful To God Almighty and To His Son, my Lord Jesus Christ for all they do for me and my loved ones. There is nothing I can ever do that is great enough to repay. I remain their humble servant. I Am Also most Thankful To God through Jesus Christ for this: >150 Religious Leaders Sign Declaration: Christians, when they have lived up to the highest ideals of their faith, have defended the weak and vulnerable and worked tirelessly to protect and strengthen vital institutions of civil society, beginning with the family. We are Orthodox, Catholic, and evangelical Christians who have united at this hour to reaffirm fundamental truths about justice and the common good, and to call upon our fellow citizens, believers and non-believers alike, to join us in defending them. These truths are: 1. the sanctity of human life 2. the dignity of marriage as the conjugal union of husband and wife 3. the rights of conscience and religious liberty. Inasmuch as these truths are foundational to human dignity and the well-being of society, they are inviolable and non-negotiable. Because they are increasingly under assault from powerful forces in our culture, we are compelled today to speak out forcefully in their defense, and to commit ourselves to honoring them fully no matter what pressures are brought upon us and our institutions to abandon or compromise them. We make this commitment not as partisans of any political group but as followers of Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen Lord, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. ...Because we honor justice and the common good, we will not comply with any edict that purports to compel our institutions to participate in abortions, embryo-destructive research, assisted suicide and euthanasia, or any other anti-life act; nor will we bend to any rule purporting to force us to bless immoral sexual partnerships, treat them as marriages or the equivalent, or refrain from proclaiming the truth, as we know it, about morality and immorality and marriage and the family. We will fully and ungrudgingly render to Caesar what is Caesar's. But under no circumstances will we render to Caesar what is God's. Join With Us Who Have Signed this: http://manhattandeclaration.org/ 66868 signatures in support. And growing... -<>- >2 Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press: This super hot one is a combined one from forwards from our friends Jo Ann and Sandi. Stairways have always intrigued me and these are some super cool ones! Sandi's shared video goes perfect with it! See for yourself here... [] [] [] [] [] [] _______________ [] _________________ _______________) [] (_______________ ! ! ! [] ' ! ! ! ! ! ! [] ,! ! ! ! ! ! ! [] ! ! ! ! ! !_____!_____!___[]_____'!_!__!_____!_____!_____ []__,_!_!_! []_!__!_!| ,[]_!__!_! ,! []_!__!| ,! ! []_!__! ! ! ! []_!| !! ! !|[]_| !!!._|_[] !!!|!_.[] !|!_!__[]!. !_!_!__[]! !. !_!_!__[]! ! `. |!_!__|]! ! ! `. |_!__|]! ! ! ! `. |____|_! ! ! ! ` |____|_! ! ! ! []____|_! ! ! []______|_! ! []________|_! ___ejm____________[]__________|____________________ Amazing Stairways! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stairs.html --- ...Awesome! Thank You Ladies! -<>- This is one sweet teaching. It is what I was talking about the other weekend when I was referring to the Body of Christ. This one is a wonderful foundational bible study. Of course I had to make sure it was available to as many as possible and add it to our best bible study teachings on-line. Be sure to check it out if you haven't already... _.-/`) // / / ) .=// / / / ) //`/ / / / / // / ` / || / \\ / )) .' jgs // / / 5 Fundamental Truths About Our Gifts and Callings by Dan Gallagher http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/giftscallings.html -<>- .-""""-._.'| / '.| | / | / | -= | /| ( | |/`< ) ) ( ; -=| _| ) \ \ / ____ /) '._ _.-""-.< .' `\/) / / \ / _ .'`/| _ / | '-._( __\ (__/_/=, ( \| \ -=/ /--;==========` ._,;'\==='-,..__/__/__.' `'--/,/ || ' \ / | / || ' \ \/ . || ; jgs / / || | | . || | / '=------| / ' ; ; ;| `-.___.___.___.___._/ >Need Some Easy YUMMY Thanksgiving Recipes? Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html =============================================================== >-->From The FunnyBone: Random Thoughts \ / \/ Notice! Take lettuce from top of .===============. stack, or heads will roll! | .-----------. | | | | | Well, if Jerry Springer isn't | | | | educational TV, why does it make | | | | __ me feel so much smarter? | '-----------'o| |o.| |===============| |::| A TV can insult your intelligence, jgs |###############| |::| but nothing rubs it in like a '===============' '--' computer. I tried to get in touch with my inner child but he isn't allowed to talk to strangers. I have to take my paycheck to the bank. it's too little to go by itself. We're lucky to have C-SPAN. Not many countries can watch their government inaction. Mountaintop Glue-Ru: "Stick to it! Stick with it! Stick it out! Stick to your guns! Stick up for yourself! ..." I must be following my diet too closely. I keep gaining on it. Welcome to Megacomputer's 24-hour help line. If you have been waiting LESS than 24 hours, please remain on the line. Whenever I'm in a mood to watch the world go by, I just keep to the posted speed limit. I was told... "You should communicate with your muscles." Sorry but "I don't talk to strangers." ============================================================== +-------------- Bizarre Resumes ------------+ HOW NOT TO WRITE A RESUME. These excerpts were compiled from actual resumes and have appeared in magazines and numerous online publications. “Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.” “Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.” “I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.” “Physical disabilities include minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep.” “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.” “They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.” “I was working for my mom until she decided to move.” “Work Experience: Dealing with customer conflicts that arouse.” ============================================================ >->Biblical bloopers from Sunday school students: \_/ \\ --(_)-- < "_) / \ .--.-.--. / / V /#/ ______________/(/ )\ _,--,/ .-/#/\ "\"-._.oo ' / \)/_\\ "-.___. ./____________________\ \__ | ( ) |__| |__| | ,-,\_|_|__|_____________|__,-, | |________________________| | L L________________________J J '._.'._.'._.'T T________________________P P_.'._.'._.' \ \______________________/ / 'sjw'._.'._.'._\ \____________________/ /'._.'._.'._.' ","-.______________.-"," "-._""--------""_.-" ""--------"" FROM THE OLD TESTAMENT **In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, the Lord got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. **Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree. **Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. **Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears. **Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. **The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. **Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. **The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. **The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. **Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. **Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines. ================================================================ >-->From Our Friend Dan :) GREAT IDEA!! ,-.-. / ,-. \ ,-. ( |a a| ) ,-. : `( : o ; )' : ____|____(_.>-<._)____|____ (_| / \ |_) || : `.|,' : || '|___..--|_\_|_/_|-...___|' ; | /SSt\ | : / ; ;| ,'|`. |: : \ / /| /|;._____.:|\ |\ \ / ,' `' / ;| |: \ `' `. \ `' / / | | \ \ `' / / ; : \ \ / / /| |\ \ \ / / / | | \ \ \ / / / ; : \ \ \ / / / /| |\ \ \ \ ( / / / | | \ \ \ ) `(_ / / ; : \ \ _)' `'.(_./___\._).`' When doing your Christmas cards this year, take one card and send it to this address. If we pass this on and everyone sends one card, think of how many cards these wonderful special people who have sacrificed so much would get. When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following: A Recovering American Soldier c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center 6900 Georgia Avenue,NW Washington, D.C. 20307-5001 If you approve, please pass it on. --- ...Super! Thank You Dan! =============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [POLITICS] >From OneNewsNow: Conservatives vow to continue fight against health bill Conservatives say that although Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid got the votes he needed Saturday night to push the health reform bill on to the next phase, the battle is far from over. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=780084 Well-heeled to serve up Thanksgiving dinner The Salvation Army -- with the help of some of New York's elite -- plans to serve 10,000 free dinners across the city this Thanksgiving. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Culture/Default.aspx?id=777790 Holder's terror trial response 'breathtaking' That is how one legal expert is describing a recent exchange between a Republican senator and the U.S. attorney general regarding the prosecution of suspected terrorists. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=778156 Post Office bailout on the table A budget expert with the Cato Institute says instead of bailing out the U.S. Postal Service with taxpayer dollars, Congress should remove the government's monopoly on first- and third- class mail. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=778402 DC homosexual 'marriage' will end Catholic assistance As Washington, DC's city council moves closer to legalizing homosexual "marriage," a Christian organization is raising a warning flag. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=777794 Perspective: Sodom in the nation's capital Looking at realities in Washington, DC, should make clear why George Washington said "Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports." http://www.onenewsnow.com/Perspectives/Default.aspx?id=780954 Obama - a 'willing propaganda tool' for Chinese? Anti-communist activist D.J. McGuire says President Obama's recent trip to China accomplished nothing more than awarding another propaganda victory to the Chinese Communist Party. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=777814 -<>- >From BizarreNews: -- Police: Attempted robber was too quiet ——— DELTONA, Fla. – Authorities in Florida said they arrested a man whose whispered demands for money went unanswered at a Deltona store. Volusia County sheriff’s deputies said Carlie McDuffie, 24, walked into a Family Dollar store and told an employee to hand over money from the register in a quiet voice that the clerk either didn’t hear or didn’t understand, the Orlando Sentinel reported. Sheriff’s spokesman Brandon Haught said the 34-year-old clerk asked McDuffie what he needed and the suspect repeated the demand in the same whispered tone. The clerk again asked what he needed, and McDuffie said “forget it” and left the store, Haught said. The spokesman said the clerk soon realized what had happened and called 911. McDuffie was arrested less than 30 minutes later and charged with attempted robbery and resisting arrest without violence. -— Strange items left on London transport ———- LONDON – Transport for London’s lost property office, which turns 75 this year, has dealt with unusual items including breast implants and bull sperm. The office, which attempts to reconnect property owners with items left on buses, trains and trams, said some of the oddest items to pass its doors include a jar of bull sperm, a theatrical coffin, breast implants and a 14-foot-long boat, The Times of London reported Thursday. The items, revealed in “The Book of Lists: London,” also include a vasectomy kit, a garden slide, an urn of ashes and two human skulls. Lost property office officials said they collected 170,000 items in 2008, including 36,852 books, 28,550 bags and 27,174 articles of clothing. ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Sandi :) ____ .-'& '-. / \ : o o ; ( (_ ) : ; I just wanna know... \ __ / `-._____.-' /`"""`\ / , \ /|/\/\/\ _\ (_|/\/\/\\__) |_______| __)_ |_ (__ jgs (_____|_____) >Stupidity Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke? Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters? Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage? Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight? Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering...? EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens Our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. --- ...Yeppers! It does the body good! Thanks Sandi! -<>- /())) //( oo (/|| _ \__ /||||/ '._-' / \ |\ / \ \ \_____ | \ \.___ /==, | ='.___/=. | ) '.______ | (______( | || snd |_|| _/ | |_\ '---'--' >Craig's List Personals Ad Posted to Craig's List Personals:This Ad Was Posted to Craig's List Personals: To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message. First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it? I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again. After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. That made his day! I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours, Alex --- ...LOL! Thanks Sandi! Makes me think this thought though... To Alex: "What part of 'Revenge Is Mine Sayeth The Lord' didn't you understand?" - God Real people get in Real trouble for taking the law into their own hands. That's why God tells us this - to keep us out of being in jail with all those Real bad guys! ============================================================ >-->From Our Friend Viv :) .-. __/ ( , '-.____\ u=='/ \ /_/ \ .-'' | ( ____/_____ _>_/.-------- \/// // snd // The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained.... The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General. The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses. The North has dating services, the South has Sunday go to meetings. The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails. The North has double last names; the South has double first names. The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races. North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits. The North has green salads, the South has collard greens. The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish. The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt. FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . .. .... In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... Do not buy food at this store. Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive. Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?' Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper ... Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there. Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits. Send this to people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it. --- ...TeeHee - I guess we'll see! Thanks Viv! ================================================================ >-->From CleanLaffs: The Malfunction! It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on. All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled. One man, popping his head out of his cubicle said, "Oh, man! Someone's deodorant isn't working." A man in the corner replied, "It can't be me. I'm not wearing any." -<>- Mayday! SOS The Coast Guard received a mayday message: "Help! We're in the water!" "Capsize?" the radio operator asked. After a long silence, the voice answered, "Six and seven-eighths. Why?" =========================================================== >-->The Way-Back-Machine: Here we go - back in our way-back-machine to November 2000 Back in the Good ole days when Terrorists only Hi-Jacked a plane instead of crashing and burning it! ...Hang on... Surd-Times: Punjab Airlines .------, =\ \ "Good morning, Ladies .---. =\ \ and Gentlemen. This is | C~ \ =\ \ your captain Banta | `----------'------'----------, Singh welcoming you to .' LI.-.LI LI LI LI LI LI LI.-.LI`-. Punjab Airways. We \ _/.____|_|______.------,______|_|_____) apologize for the four- / / day delay in taking =/ / off, owing to bad weather and some =/ / overtime I had put in at the bakery. =/ / jgs /_____,' This is flight one two six to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village! Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don't quite make it, Punjab Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out of court settlement policies. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable. We serve complimentary tea and biscuits provided you have paid for the coupons twice! For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God! We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. _..----.._ There is no-smoking in this aeroplane. _-'_..----.._'-_ Any smoke you see in the cabin is only .'. \ ( `'.'. the early warning system on the engines / / `\ `\ ) \ \ telling us to slow down! | | _`\ `\____( | | | | [__]_\ `\__() | | Life jackets are positioned under your | | `\ `\ | | seats and free bathing costumes are \ \ `\ `\ / / made available to the aunts and '.'-._ `\ `'.' swimming shorts to the uncles, for jgs `-._`'----'`_.-' emergency jumps ! `"----"` In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark !!!! Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase. .'/ Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today / / because I have to attend my nephew's wedding. _____/ /___/| But please make yourself at home and help .'____'--'____- yourself to visit the cockpit. \ \ '.\ jgs Thank you for choosing Punjab Airways. =============================== "Al Gore has been accused of polling voters and using the results of that poll to write his policy statement. Gore shot back and said he pays no attention to the polls and neither do 73.8% of the American people." - Jay Leno =============================== >-->Following From AndyCaps :) _.---,_ .' `'. \ __..-'\ }-"` \ /__,,..---.._| \ | |---..__ | / ``"-./ .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ ,--./...,,,__ / '--.'__ __```.-. /._ / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` `''--/- ""=-,\--._ .---|- ( ""=-. \` \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` '. =/ \ =| .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / / _-( /-.__ ( '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ >Revisiting - 'Al Gore' I am! Can we count them with our nose? Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band? Should we count them all by hand? If I do not like the count, I will simply throw them out! I will not let this vote count stand, I do not like them, ALGore I am! Can we change these numbers here? Can we change them, calm my fears? What do you mean Dubya has won? That is not fair! It ruins my fun! Let's count them upside down this time, Let's count until the state is mine! I will not let THIS vote count stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am! I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit! You have not heard the last of it! I'll count the ballots one by one And hold each up before the sun! I'll count, recount, and count some more! You'll grow to like this little chore! I will not let this vote count stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am! I won't leave office, stayin' here I've glued my desk chair to my rear! Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too, Are telling me that I should SUE! "We find the Electoral College vile! Recount the votes until WE smile! We do not want this vote to stand! We do not LIKE it, AlGore-I-am! "How shall we count THIS ballot box? Let's count it standling in our socks! Shall we count this one in a tree? And who shall count it, you or me? We cannot, cannot count enough! We must not stop, we must be tough! I do not want this vote to stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am! I've counted till my fingers bleed and still can't fufill my counting need. I'll count the tiles on the floor and even count the ones next door! And I will not say that I am done u ntil the counting says I've WON! I will not let this vote count stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am! What's that? What? What's that you say? You think the current count should....STAY????? You do not like my counting scheme? It makes you tense? Gives you bad dreams? Foolish folks, you're wrong, you'll see! Your only care should be for ME! I will not let this vote count stand! I do not like it, AlGore I am! --- ...Aww, the good ole' days when all we had to worry about was 'the count' - now we got all this 'change'! ============================================================= >-->From Jokes4U .-'"`/\ // /' /\`\ ('//.-'/`-.; \ \ / /-. __.__.___..__._.___.\\ \\----,_ .:{@&#,&#@&,@&#&&,#&@#&@&\\` \-. .-'-. .:{@#@,#@&#,@#&&#,@&#&@&,&@#&&\\, -._,"- \ .{#@#&@#@#&#&@&#@#@&#,@#@#&@&&#@#\ \// = \`=\__ `{#@,@#&@&,@&#@,#@&#@#&@#&@,&#@,#/\/ =`-. -_=__ `:{@#&@&#@&#@&#@,#&&#@&,@#/.' / / "/.-', / `:{@#&,#&@#,@&#&@&,@&#/.-// //-'-_= ",/ jgs `~`~~`~~~`~`~`~~`~( / , /__,___.-" \ \\/ `\\\' "Vital Things To Know About Taking A Bath" When you leave a bath to run by itself, the plug jumps just as you leave the bathroom, and you return to an empty bath just as the hot water runs out. Spiders can run round the bath faster than you can. If you run a bath too hot you don't realize this until you sit in the other end and burn your rear end. It is physically impossible to turn a tap on or off with your foot. When you lie back in the bath, your right foot slips forward until it is positioned exactly beneath the dripping tap. The odd flannel you are using to wash yourself is not a flannel at all; it is a sock which has fallen from above. The dirt you wash off yourself gathers on the surface of the water and then re-attaches itself to you as you rise to leave. Lost soap is ALWAYS behind you. When you get out of the bath, the first bit you dry is the one bit you just realized you forgot to wash. However hard you dry yourself, you are still wet when you put your clothes on. ================================================================ .---. |_X_| ___ [_____] / _ \ // \\ | / \ | | " | || " || __\___/__ __\\_//__ /\_______/\ / | U | \/ _ : _ \ ( (|___|) )/ \ : / \ \ \_ / \ _/ \ /=====\ / / /| |\ './___:___\.' ; | | ; | | | | | | | | | | | \_____/ | |--|--| '._______.' |LI|LI| jgs \/ \/ \_/ \_/ >-->SIGNS FOUND IN KITCHENS (From Andy's Archives) 1. Kitchen closed - - this chick has had it! 2. Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! 3. I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat too! 4. So this isn't Home Sweet Home... Adjust! 5. Ring Bell for Maid Service...If no answer do it yourself! 6. I clean house every other day.... Today is the other day! 7. If you write in the dust, please don't date it! 8. I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener! 9. My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it! 10. A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life. 11. COOK CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! 12. I came, I saw, I decided to order take out. 13. If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards. 14. You may touch the dust in this house...but please don't write in it! 15. Apology...Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse. 16. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious. 17. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. 18. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 19. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 20. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. 21. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. 22. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. 23. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. 24. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines. 25. Gardening forever . . . Housework, never! 26. Dull women have immaculate houses. ================================================================= >-->WISE ADVICE FROM CHILDREN ____ / __ \ __/==LI==\__ `"///""""\\\"` ( . . ) \ __ / ;.__.; /` /\ `\ | /::\ | /\ / :: \ /\ / \/ :: \/ \ /\/`>==::==<`\/\ (_/ / :: \ \_) /__________\ | || | |- || -| jgs \.-||-./ /LI/\LI\ (__/ \__) "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals." - Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you." - Rob P, age 8 "If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it." - Steven B, age 8 "Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God's Bill of Wrongs." - Susie F., age 7 "Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense." - Beau M., age 10 "My dog had worms. I think he was going fishing." - Emma B., age 4 ================================================================== >-->I Am THANKFUL! ... "A Change in Plans" ####### ##[_]## ,;###########;, <<:{{\|@___@|/}}:>> <<:{{| ( /___\\) \}}:>> <<:{{/\ \\___/( /\}}:>> <<<<:{{| \ _.| |(_\/ |}}:>>>> <<<:{{|`\,'| '-' |'./`|}}:>>> <<<:{{|`\/ \___/ \/`|}}:>>> <<<:{{ \// ) ~ ~ ( \\/ }}:>>> <<:{{`{///' ~ ^ ~ '\\\}`}}:>>> <<:{{,=`. ~ ^.~.^ ~ .`=,}}:>> `-,__.__,-' \ | / jgs // \\ .---'( )'---. `---'-` `-'---` Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming, I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect. The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 AM upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying. We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door. Now I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat. Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice: take it or leave it. Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either. --- ...I am most thankful. :) ============================================================ >-->Fun Places To Net Visit :) Disney Character Bushes http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/disneybush.html Eagle Vs Swan http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eagleswan.html Flower Dog Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/flowerart2.html There Has To Be http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/poems/therehastobe.html Thoughts For Today http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thoughts.html -<>- >From Our Friend Sandi :) Thanksgiving http://www.cpmsglife2.org/MSG/Pres/td/td1.html --- ...Sweet Thank You Sandi! -<>- >From Our Friend John-Paul :) Turkey Recipe http://www.toilette-humor.com/thanksgiving/bake_a_turkey.shtml --- ...Thank You John-Paul! -<>- >From Our Friend Maxy's Pal :) Forbes: World's most expensive homes http://news.mobile.msn.com/en-us/articles.aspx?afid=1&aid=34022275&pg1=2501 --- ...Thanks Maxy's Pal! Awww, 100 room home - puts me in dreamland. -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) Meet the cat with nine lives and two faces ! http://tinyurl.com/6pzalm T-Mobile staff sold personal data http://tinyurl.com/yflktnv Rubik's Cube Solver ! Very Cool http://tinyurl.com/b5lyx Type Emails Faster with Texter Text Replacement Software http://tinyurl.com/yavchzj --- ...Awww, thanks Wesley! Me? Type faster? Probably wouldn't work for me - I mess up too much! One hand is quicker then the other. -<>- >From LynnLynn's Links: Thanksgiving Recipes From America's Past Via Juanita http://www.pilgrimhall.org/thanksrec.htm Send a card to a soldier in Iraq http://www.LetsSayThanks.com Movie http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhkji.htm Mozart http://www.buffaloschips.com/kkjop.htm Neumaticob http://www.buffaloschips.com/jijoij.htm Nextel Dance Party http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjpopo.htm No Fear http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjoppo.htm If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com ============================================================= >-->QUOTES AND THUNKERS: "A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station." - Unknown "Well, I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech." - Groucho Marx "I bet it’s hard to break farmers of the old superstitions like 'Tornado got Old Yeller, stay in the cellar.'" - Jack Handey "That's pretty much all I do these days: wait for Customer Service. My call is important to them. They have told me this many times in a sincere recorded message. They can't wait to serve me! They will answer my call just as soon as they finish serving the entire population of mainland China." - Dave Barry "Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of life, because we’re not ready. But maybe they’ll change their tune after a little torture." - Jack Handey "If I came across a gingerbread house in the middle of the woods, I wouldn't eat it because I don't like sweets. But if I came across a house made of ham, I'd gobble that sucker down, because I love ham. Besides, who's ever heard of a witch living in a ham house?" - Steve T "If you’re like me, you probably blame a lot of things on rubber bands. If there’s bad news in the newspaper, you blame it on the rubber band which kept it rolled up. Or if you get your bank statement, and there’s less money in your account than you thought you had, you blame it on the rubber band that hold the statement and the checks together. Why do we do that?" - Jack Handey "With hindsight, I agree that the airline company *is* entitled to ban passengers from playing games that involve screaming, flailing your arms about, and shouting 'The engine's on fire!!' I just wish they'd been clearer on this point *before* I got on the flight." - Paul Hancox "I loaned a guy ten thousand dollars to get plastic surgery - now I can't find him - I don't know what he looks like." - Rodney Dangerfield "I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.'" - Emo Philips "The best way for the American family to get to know family members better is for the television set to break down." - Unknown "It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation, which give happiness." --Thomas Jefferson "Success can also cause misery. The trick is not to be surprised when you discover it doesn't bring you all the happiness and answers you thought it would." --the artist known as Prince "It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed." --Kin Hubbard __ / \ _/=Ll=\_ [________] ___ ||/""\|| .'___`. ( 6. 6 ) / /"""\ \ __, ,__, \_--_/ |( 6 6 )| (--| | .-[\~--~/]-. ~\_-_/~ |--| _ _ _ / \ / \ .-' '-. _| | (_||_)|_)\_| / _, `----' ,_ \ /\_____/\ ( |_, | | ,_| \ \| |/ / / ,_/^\_, \ \ >==[]==< / \_(_|-|_)_/ _______, \/__.''.__\/ //=====\\ (--| _, (_, | TT | // \\ | |_ _ ._ |__, , _ ' ',_ _ | || | // \\ _| | |(_|| || \ /_)(_||\/|| |(_| | || | /'---,___,---'\ ( |_, \_, ,_| ,_| |__||__| / / \ \ [__][__] '--,_________,--' jgs |_ || _| |_ | _| (__)(__) (__)__) >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! --------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS --------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************