Insignificant Thoughts, Useless Inventions And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super red hot new page is from our friends Linda, LouiseAu and Karen. This is sure to tickle your funny bone and give you plenty of smiles for your day. Be sure to check out the video here too - these two are really great all time comedians! _..-------.._ .-"--..__ __."-. ." """" ". .:: :.. .' ""----...._________..-`. ::::::' : __:::::::::: .. : ______......--.--:::::::::::::-" .:: ::::::::::(::::##::##::_:::::::::"::: .:-.:::_ :::::::::_::::::#:::#:::#"::::::: " '-::::::::::::::-#:::::::::::::::#::::::::: .:::::::::::::::#:::::::::::::#:::::::' : ::::::":"""----:::#::::::::::::#---"" _.: " '-' : __...--"" : :---...____....----""" ___..-": : ______......--""" : :""""" : `.----.....______....----.' .--. ":::::::::::::::::::::/:..:::::: grp "-:::::::::::::::-"':::::::::: ::::::---"" .::::::::: .:::::/_.._ ::::::::' :::::::::::::. '-::-" '::::::::::::: `--::::::-' Mr. Bump Maxine Humor 3! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxinehumor3.html --- ...Maxine always leaves us smiling! Thanks Ladies! When I first saw these Maxine pages, I thought 'Oh No!' I was taken down the rode of Maxine Walters shouting 'Impeach 45!' And remembering all her hate filled rhetoric against our duly elected President. Of course, I was super pleased that these were full of REAL smiles instead of her hate messages! I do love how things that go around often do come around - some people call it 'Karma' but the Bible refers to it here: Gal.6: [7] Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. It's the old Giving = Receiving. So she got her just reward right back at her: Bad day for Maxine Waters! Black pro-Trump woman explodes on her, crowd boos as she leaves townhall https://tinyurl.com/y7azyph5 ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: /\ / \ _-| ,' \ _,m; | d| L _mdMP' | dM| | ,dMMMF | dMM| | dMMMMF .' ,MMM| |-'""`-./`QMM| | |MMMJ | | `.RP"| ,' |MMMMl |,-;'`. |\`.| ,/ ,d| |MMMM'\,',' \ | `.|'/,MMF |MP"` / / \ | | q/ _t| /,' _____ | /___ | ,' -' `.| | / _._\ |'|,m.)|<:_ ,' ,-'| | \ |MMMD `^"'.| `. | / | |__`>`''-'"".\ | | |,'____\ `---'_--'" ` / \ `. /-' |--._ .__--"' (, ) \ |-'\ | \\-. //`-' `. /| || || \ __// | / | >``--[ | \_-""".,/`._\ | ,' | |-' `\ ,' / ,' |,' | |,----..' ( /`. ' `. ||____|| `-' `. > `-..._|.m. _.m| / `.._.qMMMMMMMD CMMM| / `VML. `V' | VMML..___.,-' | | ,mmm._ /| | ,dMMMMP""``-.___,-' | | ,dMMMMP"' / _.- | dMMMMMMb | | | dMMMMMMMb. / | | ' `"qMM| `. | _,-` `M` `-.___.,^----' | `. | |' | .' `-_ _| | | | `-._____,-' `\_J |md| |MMb |MM| ,mmMMMMMMMUD |MMMMMMSmr. hjm `"qMMMMP"' `"""^^^^^" Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Pete says to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it." The salesman says, "You just make a small down payment ... then you don't make another payment for six months." Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and says, "Who told you about us?" -<>- A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification?" He replied without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary." "How come?" asked the woman. "Crooks don't buy peat moss," answered the clerk. -<>- ___________ `:::::::::' ':::::::' -._:::::::_.- :""""""""""""""""": : . \ .- . : : : 0 0 .' : : ' ..::. : : ::::::: : .': ':::::' :`. : : "" : : `. : __ :.' ": .' ". : : : : : : ' : :_____ _____: __ : : :.--. grp ." " : ' : '. : .' `-...-"'-..-" Mr. Grumpy >Insignificant thoughts 1. Isn't it strange that a group of very intelligent individuals combined into a political party become collectively stupid? 2. I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up. 3. To feel good about yourself, is there a quota on how many other people each day you have to condemn? 4. Only in America would people pay $69.95 for a toaster-oven that automatically burns your frozen waffle. 5. My mind is now so crowded with valuable information that I can't think. 6. You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher. 7. If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier than the ones who stick earrings in their noses today. 8. The NFL is boring, the NBA is disintegrating, baseball is totally predictable. Maybe we do need the XFL. Maybe we need Nude Roller Derby. Maybe we need Sumo Hockey. 9. There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop and smell some hot diesel exhaust. 10. One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. 11. I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. 12. Okay, I have a million awesome clip art images. Now what? 13. Instead of building millionaires a new arena for their basketball team, why couldn't the city fill in a few potholes? 14. Does anyone know? If you voted for the winning congressional candidate, can you take all your campaign promises in one lump sum? 15. I encourage my children to read the newspaper, but they're holding out for a remote that turns the pages. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ July 23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day July 24 Amelia Earhart Day, Cousins Day, National Tequila Day and Tell an Old Joke Day July 25 is Culinarians Day and Threading the Needle Day July 26 is All or Nothing Day and Aunt and Uncle Day July 27 is System Administrator Appreciation Day, Take Your Houseplants for a Walk and Take Your Pants for a Walk Day July 28 is National Day of the Cowboy and National Milk Chocolate Day July 29 is International Tiger Day, National Chicken Wing Day and National Lasagna Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: _________________________________________________________ ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||.--. .-._ .----. || |||==|____| |H|___ .---.___|""""|_____.--.___ || ||| |====| | |xxx|_ |+++|=-=|_ _|-=+=-|==|---||| |||==| | | | | \ | | |_\/_|Black| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |\ \ .--. | |=-=|_/\_|-=+=-| | ^ ||| ||| | | | | |_\ \_( oo )| | | |Magus| | ^ ||| |||==|====| |H|xxx| \ \ |''| |+++|=-=|""""|-=+=-|==|---||| ||`--^----'-^-^---' `-' "" '---^---^----^-----^--^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| || ___ .-.__.-----. .---.|| || |===| .---. __ .---| |XX|<(*)>|_|^^^||| || , /(| |_|III|__|''|__|:x:|=| | |=| Q ||| || _a'{ / (|===|+| |++| |==| | | |Illum| | R ||| || '/\\/ _(|===|-| | |''| |:x:|=| |inati| | Y ||| ||_____ -\{___(| |-| | | | | | | | | | Z ||| || _(____)|===|+|[I]|DK|''|==|:x:|=|XX|<(*)>|=|^^^||| || `---^-^---^--^--'--^---^-^--^-----^-^---^|| ||-------------------------------------------------------|| ||_______________________________________________________|| Qryz >School Library When I worked in the school library, a very confused student asked me for help. "The computer just started typing in Latin. I can't understand it," he said. It turns out the font was changed to italics. -<>- >Baby Sitter? I was not thrilled with the idea of letting my clueless 13-year-old son baby sit his younger brothers, even though he begged me to. "What about a fire?" I asked, referring to my No. 1 concern. "Mom," he said, rolling his eyes, "I'm a Boy Scout. I know how to start a fire." -<>- >Look Out for the Door! The door of the science office at my high school opens outward, and a number of students have been whacked by it. To prevent any more mishaps, one of the teachers stuck a warning on the door advising people not to stand too close. There was also a comic strip attached showing a student being hit by a door being opened. One day I was pushing a cart into the hall and opened the door extra wide. To my horror the door struck a student standing outside. After determining that he was all right, I asked why he was behind the door even though the warning was there. "I was reading it," he replied. -<>- { { } }_{ __{ .-{ } }-. ( } { ) |`-.._____..-'| | ;--. | (__ \ | | ) ) | |/ / | / / -Felix Lee- | ( / \ y' `-.._____..-' >Welcome to California This was sent to me by a member of the Good Clean Fun mailing list. He wrote it for his son and daughter-in-law when they moved to California from the east coast. He indicated that there was talk about checking his medication after they had read it. -Tom WELCOME TO CALIFORNIA - FINANCING IS AVAILABLE An introduction to the new resident to California. GEOGRAPHY AND PEOPLE Distance: Before you can understand the geography of California you must understand how we measure distance. There are no miles in California, only hours. Ask anyone in this state how far a place is from where you are and they will give you the distance in hours, not miles. To help new residents and Californians travelling to the east coast, the Los Angeles Times periodically publishes tables for converting hours to miles. The state can be broken down into six distinct geographical areas: Southern California - Southern California is the area bounded on the south by Mexico, on the east by the Mojave Desert, on the west by the Pacific Ocean, and extends to just north of Santa Barbara. The area includes Los Angeles and San Diego. There is a common misconception that people actually live in the houses in Southern California. This is not true. Southern California is actually the world's only moving condominium. Central California - Central California is the sparsely populated refugee center for Southern California that starts just north of Santa Barbara and extends to just south of San Francisco. The area is bounded on the west by the Pacific Ocean and the east by the Coast Range. Northern California - Everything north of San Francisco. This is an area populated by trees and people disguised as trees. Central Valley - The largest valley in the United States. Bounded on the north by Northern California, on the west by the Coast Range, on the east by the Sierra Nevada Mountains, and on the south by the capital city of Oklahoma (Bakersfield). Probably the richest farming area in the world, the Central Valley is the third most boring place in the country. Iowa and Kansas had the first two places already taken. Mojave Desert - This area lies east of Southern California and south of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. It extends into Nevada, Arizona, and Mexico. It is hot, dry, and inhospitable, but it is one of the great wonders of California. I must correct one common myth. The Mojave was not created by Charleton Heston for El Cid. It was created by Monte Hall for Let's Make a Deal. Sierra Nevada - Humungous mountains along our eastern border. LANGUAGE AND NAMES California was originally settled by the Spanish. Spanish and Indian names are common in all of California. Port Hueneme - Pronounced "wy nee mee" locally, it is pronounced "hew en a ma" by easterners. The eastern pronunciation actually is very close, since the word means "high colonic" in Spanish. Point Mugu - Originally a home for near-sited explorers. Camarillo - Pronounced "cam a ree yo". Currently the location of a hospital for the criminally insane, the name means "say what?" in Spanish. Los Angeles - Literally "the angels". The name is derived from a local baseball team. San Diego - This is actually a mispronunciation of the Spanish words for a self-centered beach worshiper. Ojai - Pronounced "o hi" This is the first place the Spanish encountered local Indians. Pismo Beach - Originally a convenience stop for the Spanish explorers. Arroyo Grande - "Large creek" in Spanish. Named shortly after Pismo Beach. Oceano - The "ocean" in Spanish. Named shortly after Arroyo Grande (there were a lot of explorers). Grover Beach - Settled by a guy named Grover who settled here knowing all about Pismo Beach, Arroyo Grande, and Oceano. San Francisco - Named for the patron saint of strange people. WEATHER California has four distinct seasons: Summer - hot, earthquakes Fall - wild fires, earthquakes Winter - rains, earthquakes Spring - mud slides, earthquakes FOOD California has almost every style of food, but Mexican food must be explained. Mexican food has three types - real Mexican food only for the purists, Mexican-American food for most of us, and Taco Bell for the tourists. Real Mexican salsa has been produced in large quantities recently since it has been found that it can be used as both a food and a paint remover. -<>- >At the Grocery A clerk was working at the grocery check out, singing along with the PA music in the store. The customer, a sweet elderly woman, asked, "What did you do with the money?" The clerk asked, "What money?" "The money your parents gave you for singing lessons." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseAu :) ,o-o, //^<\ ( |a -| ) ) ) \ e / ( ( (( _) (__ )) ) /|__ _|\ ( o==Vn__/( Y )\___n7==o q\\-- )____( ---//p | . L /=[ ]=\ (// \\, \ l l| L|__Y__|/ |===|==| jjs \ | | >SMILES An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!" The man was a real smart Aleck and he said, "That's what you can do when you're young and quick." Well, this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes. The young man ran back to his car and asked, "What did you do that for?" The little old lady smiled and told him, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!" ---------- In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O'Neill said, "Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object." Paul replied, "Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school." "Thank you, Paul," responded Mrs. O'Neill, "but what is the object?" Paul said "To get the best mark possible." ---------- The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? He said, 'Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.' The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night ..' The third night was Pete's turn. Pete was a big burly ex-Navy man; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. 'Good morning,' he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, 'Man, what happened?' He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watched me all night. -------- The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times. "Now, said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?" A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know, I know," she said. "To make the gravy!" -------- I had a problem getting my computer to work at work today (I'm not very technical), the guy who came to fix it said it was a 'PICNIC' problem! I asked, "What the Heck is that?" He replied "Problem In Chair, Not In Computer!" -------- The Medical insurance noticed that nearly every bill from one pediatrician's office included the line item "behavior modification reinforcers." Fearing that the doctor was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment, she called the pediatrician's office to inquire, "What on earth are behavior modification reinforcers?" "Lollipops," was the reply. ------- "I was coming in the back door," said the man to the dispatcher, "when I was struck on the head from behind. Luckily, I was able to get into the house and lock the door. Please send help right away!" After advising him to stay calm, the dispatcher sent a rookie cop to investigate. A half hour later the rookie returns to the station and is sporting a large bump on his head. "Well, that was fast work," remarked the police chief. "How did you do it?" "It was easy, chief," replied the rookie, rubbing his sore head. . . . . "I stepped on the rake, too! -------- There was this guy in a mental hospital. All day long he had his ear to the wall, listening. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!" -------- After church, Ray tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family. "Pastor," Ray says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust." "That's right, Ray, I did." "And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust." "Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?" "Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!" -------- A Belgian guy watched a Dutchman in a cafe get the most beautiful girls without any trouble, even though he did not look very nice. Asked how he did this, the Dutchman said, "Well very easy, when I enter, I toss the keys of my Rolls Royce on the bar and they just flock to me. Though I am as poor as you, the keys do it." So this Belgian guy buys some nice Rolls keys and tries it also, but to no avail. He asks the Dutchman for advice again, "Yes says the Dutchman, if you don't take off your bicycle helmet it don't work." -------- My buddy is a lousy golfer, but that doesn't stop him from playing. One day on first hole, he teed up, took a couple practice swings, then swung in earnest -- missing the ball entirely! He tried again, and he missed again. The third time wasn't the charm, either. He swung and really missed! "You were right!" he commented, taking a breather. "This IS a tough course!" -------- With a party going full bore in the apartment above her, my friend could forget about getting any sleep. The next day, she spotted the offending party giver. "Didn't you hear me pounding on the ceiling?" she asked. The man smiled pleasantly. "That's okay. We were making a lot of noise ourselves..." --- ...LOL! What a hoot! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From HandyHints: _ ( | | __,--./|.--,__ .` \ \ / / `. .` \ | / `. / / ^|^ \ \ / / | |o | \ \ /===/ | | | \===\ /___/ | |o | \___\ | | | | |o | | | | | |o | | | | | |o | jgs |_____/\_____| >Closets: Closets are dust reservoirs, full of tiny fibers from clothes, towels and bedding. Every time you open the door, you whip up an invisible dust storm. You can't prevent clothes from shedding fibers, but you can make closets easier to keep clean and vastly cut down on dust. Box or bag items on shelves. Clear plastic containers are best, they lock fibers in and dust out and let you see what's inside. When you dust, they're easy to pull off the shelves and wipe clean. Enclose the clothes you rarely wear. Those coats you wear only in winter shed fibers year-round. Slip garment bags or large garbage bags over them. They help to contain fibers and keep the clothes themselves from becoming coated with dust. Keep closet floors clear. If the floor is cluttered, chances are you'll just bypass it while vacuuming. But a wide-open floor adds only a few seconds to the vacuuming chore. And a wire shelf lets you clear all those shoes off the floor without losing storage space. >Drapes: Summer and winter are the best times to use curtains sun as a natural heating/cooling system. Highly reflective blinds can reduce heat gain by around 45% during summer. The opposite applies in winter, when you should use window treatments to trap heat in. Most conventional draperies can reduce heat loss from a warm room up to 10%. >Pasta: If you love pasta, but hate waiting for that giant pot of water to boil, this hack is for you. Use a frying pan full of water instead of a traditional pot! The wider area of the pan means the water gets hotter much faster. >Ginger: Ginger can be tricky to peel with all its bumps and irregularities. Rather than using a paring knife or vegetable peeler, reach for the spoon. Scrape it against the skin and it'll come right off, following every contour and minimizing waste. >Conduct a Nightly Tidy-Up: Every night, take a laundry basket on a tour of your house and pick up anything that's out of place. "You don't have to put it away now. If you want, plan to do it on Saturday and it won't take much time at all," Alkhas says. If there are more than two people in your household, separate the day's clutter into assigned baskets for each family member to put away daily or weekly. With this routine, Alkas adds, "you'll wake up to a living room that's decluttered and a kitchen that is tidy, and you can start your day fresh." --- ,;;;, ;;;;;;; .-'`\, '/_ .' \ ("`(_) / `-,.'\ \_/ \ \/\ `--` \ \ \ / /| | /_/ |_| jgs ( _\ ( _\ #:## #:## #:## #:## #:## #:## #:## ...Better yet - Clean As You Go! I like to teach the kids and grandkids to clean as they go. If I see a clutter or a mess left behind, I point it out to them with the eye of a detective sleuth gamer - 'I can see where you've been and what you've done!' - Point out to them doors or cupboards left open, lights left on, towels or clothes left on the floor after a shower, toys left laying around etc. Tell them to make sure they don't leave things behind so you can't tell where they've been or what they've been up to! I also had to teach the grandkids about their trash. Their mom doesn't seem to care if they leave candy wrappers or banana peels laying around or even dropped on the carpet! I got after them right away on that and now it only takes a few minutes of clean up when they are leaving to return to what I visualize as the Cat In The Hat's 'roll away' cleaning up the house... _.---,_ .' `'. \ __..-'\ }-"` \ /__,,..---.._| \ | |---..__ | / ``"-./ .'---...__ | .' ``"-./ ,--./...,,,__ / '--.'__ __```.-. /._ / ` ` ' `=/.-.|-._) | .-. .-. "\\ / || O| | O| ""=='_\ .-' '-'o '-' ""=\` `''--/- ""=-,\--._ .---|- ( ""=-. \` \ /`)"=."=|'-. '. _.-' ' "=|\| (`----` '="=|/ `-. "=/` '. =/ \ =| .-. |` "=| ( ~._ | "==| _.-~`\ \ ~. |'"="| _.-~ ) ; ~-.|.-._|_.-~ / / _-( /-.__ ( '._..--~~`/`/-'\-._ `~~- ; jgs /"=| |" =\~-...___.-~ /=" / | "==\ / = (_ \ "==\ ;="= `\_) =="\ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euhnBEpdFRE Much easier if things are done as I like to think of it 'a little at a time - one step at a time Sweet Jesus!' than if left for a Saturday when everyone just wants to have a fun day and enjoy their free time! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Here's How President Trump Is Countering Russia https://tinyurl.com/ycolvxgb Trump: Will Be This Leader's 'Worst Nightmare' [VIDEO] https://tinyurl.com/ydxtwfwq How President Trump's Building Future Economic Growth https://tinyurl.com/yddk2uw5 Newt Gingrich UNLEASHES Truth On Trump [VIDEO] https://tinyurl.com/yadr6lsa Bolton: Trump Doesn't Leave Hostages Behind https://tinyurl.com/ycu66c2f Lou Dobbs 7/20/18 https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6pmiov Justice With Judge Jeanine 7/21/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNUeSxXXyOc Whoopie gets TRIGGERED by Judge Jeanine - 07/19/18 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WLyERvQ-yY Judge Jeanine's reaction to being thrown off THE VIEW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IItn6zA8RLk WhiteHouseNews: https://www.whitehouse.gov/1600daily/ Latest From AFA: http://tinyurl.com/j7lakqw Latest From RightAlerts: http://rightalerts.com Latest At FoxNews: http://www.foxnews.com/ Latest From MRC News: https://tinyurl.com/ya6uruck Latest From TrueDailyNews: http://truedaily.news/category/news/ -<>- >From BizarreNews: It's something of a right of passage. Going through your parents' things looking for loose cash to steal is when an innocent young child turns into a petty thief. It's an assumption of responsibility. You know it's wrong, but you are prepared to assume the risk of punishment so you can buy junk food or video games or whatever kids need to steal money to buy. Usually the target for these little raids is Dad's wallet, or Mom's purse, or maybe the dresser drawers in the bedroom, but the enterprising youngster from Missouri in today's story took his pilfering to a whole new level. A homeowner called police last month to report an odd burglary. Everything in the house appeared normal, and it didn't look like anyone had broken in, except $20,000 in cash was gone from a large gun safe the man kept in the house. An investigation revealed that someone had cut a 5-inch by 20-inch hole in the back of it. According to the court documents, the only person who might have had knowledge about the cash in the safe was the home- owner's son. When he was interviewed by police the boy's hands were shaking and he would not make eye contact with the detective, court documents say, but a search of his room turned up nothing. It's when the detective searched the son's iPhone that some clues were discovered. A video of the front of his father's gun safe was found in the deleted items folder, and someone had used the phone to visit two websites: "Safe-cracking made stupid easy" and "How to figure out the key pad lock combination," documents say. The safe's owner allegedly told police his son has a drug problem and owes people thousands of dollars, but so far the son has not been criminally charged. -<>- Finding out that your beloved spouse has been cheating on you is bad enough. To actually find her with her lover is worse. But to find them both together dead? That's got to be tough. Unfortunately, that is exactly how this New Jersey man discovered his wife's infidelity. Kahali Johnson from Newark said that he came home at 8:45 p.m. to find the home smelling from gas. He went to investigate the smell and he checked several places until he reached the garage. There he found the that it smelled like the fumes from an automobile exhaust. Soon, he found his 39-year-old wife and her lover, a 56-year-old mechanic, lying on the floor next to her running vehicle inside the closed garage. You'd think a mechanic would know better. Johnson called police and emergency workers. Both his wife and her mechanic were pronounced dead at the scene. They died from carbon monoxide poisoning. According to some reports, the wife agreed to have sex with her mechanic as payment for his work. Police said that the incident appears to be accidental. *----- For Deposit Only-St. Martha Parish -----* If what Jesus said in the book of Matthew is right, that "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," and we have no evidence to show that it isn't, then this Michigan priest is sh!% out of luck. State police say they discovered $63,000 hidden above ceiling tiles in the home of the priest who is accused of embezzling millions. The search was conducted at the Rev. Jonathan Wehrle's luxury home in Williamston. Police say money was in $2,000 bundles secured with cash bands that said, "For Deposit Only-St. Martha Parish." Wehrle is charged with six counts of embezzling $100,000 or more from St. Martha Church in Okemos. He lived at a property worth more than $1 million. *- I Did Not Know Tortilla Chips Could Do That -* Firefighters in Texas said they responded twice in one week to fires caused by the spontaneous combustion of tortilla chips. The Austin Fire Department said that firefighters responded to a fire at a factory on Trade Center Drive and they arrived to find the fire had been caused by spontaneous combustion of tortilla chips. "The factory in question was trying out a new way to handle the waste from the chips that, suffice it to say, didn't work out so well," the department said. "The fire was confined to the exterior of the building and to multiple pallets of food waste, but large cardboard boxes of the same waste continued to ignite while we were on scene!" The department said firefighters returned three days later when surviving boxes of the same food waste burst into flames. The department said the fires did not cause serious damage to the building since the food waste was being stored outside. *--------- 'It's better than walking' ---------* Two men became terrified when a train they were holding onto began speeding and left their town. One of the two men from Ohio made a bizarre phone call to 911 after realizing that the train was leaving Huron County but they had no idea that it was heading to Wayne County. 20-year-old Christian Hale told police that he and Kevin Slone, 24, jumped onto the moving train at around 4:00 a.m. on Tuesday. They thought the train was going locally and would take them to their destination without walking. The men hung on but were shocked to see the train going to another location. After about 1 hour on their wild ride, Hale finally called for help. However, the dispatcher had a hard time comprehending what he was saying. Police released the recording of the phone call during which Hale said: "I'm on a train!" The dispatcher asked Hale why they were on a train, to which Hale responded: "It's better than walking, it's scaring the s**t out of us." The train was stopped and the two men hopped off. Police found them a mile away and they were arrested for trespassing. *--------- It Was Fun While It Lasted ----------* A Virginia man on Saturday totaled a $300,000 car one day after he bought it, police said. The Fairfax County Police Department said a man driving a McLaren 720S and crashed into a tree because he was speeding. The driver, who was not named by police, suffered only non-life threatening injuries. "Purchased Friday. Totaled Saturday. This McLaren 720S, costing around $300,000, was destroyed today in Great Falls because of speed," police said. "The driver was taken to the hospital with thankfully only non-life threatening injuries. A reminder to slow down, or it could cost you." ========================================================= >-->From TheGroaner: _ _( ) ( ) ) _ ( _) ( ) ( ( ) ( ) _ ,-. _ ) ) ( ( ( ,-''' )_( ```-.,' ) `-( ) ) ( __|`-..._______...-'|__ ( ) [=== |==] ____(___ __,.--. | |__,-_''.------.``_-.-''__,.--' | | (( ))-' /| | | \`-...______...-'/ / / | `-..._______...-' `-...______...-' / / | / /`- ,-----. -' `- ,----. -' / / | / /___________________________________/ / | `---------------------------------------' | | _jrei____________________________ | | | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | | | | |___-_-___-___-_-___-_-_____-_-___| | | | (___________________________________) | | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | | | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | | I was enjoying some meatloaf the other night and I came to the realization that meatloaf really got the shaft when it came to the cuisine name game. Here are few replacement names that I came up with... Hamburger Heap Beef Wad Moo Mound Cow Clump Bovine Mountain Any of those sound yummy? Well, maybe "meatloaf" really was the way to go after all. --- >An Old Curse An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife." -<>- _________________________ (, ______________________ ) | | || | | @@@@ || @@@@ | | @@@@@@@ || @@@@@@@ | | @@ - - || - @@@@ | | @ c/ || '_ @@@ | | _@| |_ || __\@ \@ | | ( \ )/_\ /_ || _\\ (/ ) @\_/) | | \ \|) / \) || |(__/ / /| | | |\_/ ( -/ || \___/ ----/_| | | / \ || ,: '( | | : _/| || |: \ | | : | || |: ) | | : | || |: | | |_______'____,_|_______|| |_____,_| .---('________________________)--. | / ( |____ __________ _| | /\ ) |___| -o- | |__| -o- | ( \| / |___| -o- | |__| -o- | | /'=. b'ger|________| |__|______| '=>/ \ / \ /|/ ,___/| >You Lie, You Die There once was a magic mirror which would kill you if you lied to it. One day a brunette was doing her makeup and said to herself, "I think I'm the smartest woman ever!" She immediately dropped dead. The next day a redhead was doing her hair and said to herself, "I think I'm the prettiest woman alive!" She immediately dropped dead. Finally, the following day, a blond was flossing her teeth. She stopped and said to herself, "I think," and dropped dead. -<>- >Q and A Quickies , {\_ _ }><_('> \_{Ss ` ` _(/\SS _/_/ / SS jgs \{ Q: Where do mermaids see movies? A: At the dive-in? Q: What is a horse's favorite sport? A: Stable Tennis! Q: What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? A: Look, grandpa, no hands! Q: What falls but never hurts itself? A: Snow. ( ) (oo) )\.-----/(O O) # ; / u ( . |} ) |/ `.;|/; " " " unknown Q: Why did the cow go in the spaceship? A: It wanted to see the mooooooon! Q: How do chickens get strong? A: Egg-cersize. Q: Why can't you bend a coin? A: Change Is Hard! .-._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ .-''-.__.-'00 '-' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '-. '.___ ' . .--_'-' '-' '-' _'-' '._ V: V 'vv-' '_ '. .' _..' '.'. '=.____.=_.--' :_.__.__:_ '. : : (((____.-' '-. / : : snd (((-'\ .' / _____..' .' '-._____.-' Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator! ========================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: (.,------...__ _.'" `. .' .' `, `. `. ` . .' .'/''--...__`. \ . .--.`. ' "-. '. | '' .' _.' .()) .--":/ ''( \_\ ' (()( ''._' ( \ ' ' `. `--' ' `.: . `-.___.' ' `. . _ _ .' ) .____.-' .'`. (--.. .' \ /\ / / `. .' \( \ /|/ `. .' \__/ `. / | o | \ | | | jro A boy, frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, asked his father, "Dad, when will I be old enough to do as I please?" The father answered immediately, "I don't know, son. Nobody has lived that long yet." -<>- An English professor announced to the class; "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool." From the back of the room a voice called out, "Yeah? So, what are the words?" -<>- Our armored car arrived earlier than usual, so my deposit wasn't quite ready. As the young man waited patiently for me to secure the bag, I said, "Sorry to hold you up." "Delay, delay," he corrected me. "We don't use that other phrase." -<>- A British friend of mine once found himself at a dinner party sitting next to an attractive American woman. The conversation turned to cricket, and the woman asked my friend to explain the game. He agreed and embarked on a lengthy explanation of the mysteries of "silly mid-on," "fine-leg," "googly," "chinaman" and the like. At the end he sat back, exhausted. The woman looked at him, shaking her head in wonderment, "That really is remarkable. And to think they do it all on horseback." -<>- The party's host paid me a great compliment. "You are a good- looking woman," he said. "Honest--I've had only one beer." My glow was only slightly dimmed when my husband interjected, "Imagine how great she'll look after two." -<>- I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. "Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked. "Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings." -<>- While standing watch in the Coast Guard station in Juneau, Alaska, I got a call from the Navy in the nearby city of Adak. They had lost contact with one of their planes and needed the Coast Guard to send an aircraft to find it. I asked the man where the Navy aircraft had last been spotted so we would know where to search. "I can't tell you," the Navy man said. "That's classified." -<>- A young college girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried. "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'." ========================================================= >-->From TheJokester: . . * . . . . * . . . . . . * . . . . * . . * . . . * . . * . . . * . . . . * . . . . . * . . . .-o--. . * . . . . . . . . * * . :O o O : . . ____ * . . . . . . . . : O. Oo; . . `. ````.---...___ . * . . . * . `-.O-' . * . . \_ ; \`.-'```--..__. . . * . . . . . ,'_,-' _,-' ``--._ . * . . . . * . . . -' ,-' `-._ * . . * . . . ,-' _,-._ ,`-. . . . . . * . . '--. _ _.._`-. `-._ | `_ . * . . . . . . ; ,' ' _ `._`._ `. `,-'' `-. . . . . . . ,-' \ `;. `. ;` `._ _/\___ `. . * . . * \ \ , `-' ) `':_ ; \ `. . * . . . * \ _; ` ,; __; `. . . . . . '-.; __, ` _,-'-.--''' \-: `. * . . . * . )`-..---' `---'' \ `. . . . . . . . .' `. `. ` . * . . . / `. `. ` * . . / `. `. ' . . * / `. `. _'. . . . . | `._\-' ' . . . | `.__, \ * . . *. . | \ \. . . | \ \ . * jrei * >Genesis: The Modern Version In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this." And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood." And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female created he them. And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit. And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game." And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. /\ __ \ .-':::. \ :::::|\ |,\:::'/ \ `.:::-' \ `-. \ ___ `-. | .-'';:::. `-.-' / ',''.;;;\ | ','','.''| |\ ' ,',' /' `.`-.___.-;' `--._.-' AsH And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds. And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds. And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof. And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds. * * * * ) (\___/) ( * /( \ (. .) )\ * # ) c\ >' ( # ' )-_/ ' \\|, ____| |__ ,|// \ ) ( ` ~ ) ( / #\ / /| . ' .) \ /# | \ / ) , / \ / | \,/ ;;,,;,; \,/ _,#;,;;,;, /,i;;;,,;#,; (( %;;,;,;;,; )) ;#;,;%;;,, _// ;,;; ,#;, /_) #,; // // \|_ \|_ |#\ |#\ -" b'ger -" And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance. Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice. And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds. And God created the life-giving tofu. And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?" And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did. And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor. And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food. And God brought forth Weight-watchers. It didn't help. And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at 21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod, east of the polyester leisure suit. And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement. It didn't help her, either. ...And time goes on. ========================================================= >-->From TheMouth: _.----. .----------------" / / \ ( EVEREADY - NOT | | |) | `----------------._\ \ / "----' Lester / itz / Nate >The Best (or Worst) of Useless Inventions 1. Solar Powered Flash Light 2. Waterproof Sponge 3. Smooth Sandpaper 4. Fireproof Matches 5. Inflatable Dartboard 6. Battery Powered Battery Charger 7. Braille Drivers Manual 8. Glow-in-the-dark Sunglasses 9. A Pedal Powered Wheelchair 10. Ejector Seats for Helicopters -<>- * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * arm * >OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE FROM KIDS "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is on television." (Anita, 6) "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8) "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10) THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8) SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6) "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9) "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9) HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE? "Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9) "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8) "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are...on fire." (Christine, 9) WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU" "The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9) HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS "You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7) "It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9) WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10) HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7) "Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love." (Roger, 8) "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy, 8) ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Montreal Mosaicultures Show 2! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/montrealshow2.html That's God! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thatsgod.html Rare Historical Photos http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/historyphotos.html Truth About Work http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/work.html Small Thoughts http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/smallthoughts.html Witty Comebacks http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/comebacks.html Junk Car Parts Art http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/junkcarart.html Playing With Food 4 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/food4.html Sand Sculpture Art 5 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart5.html Beautiful Exotic Birds 2 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/exoticbirds2.html Grizzly Bear Killed http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/grizzly.html Great White Shark http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/greatwhite.html Walking In Power http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/walkingpower.html Bizarre Nature http://www.amazafamily.com/bizarrenature.html Feeding The Eagles http://www.amazafamily.com/eaglefeeding.html Finger Monkeys http://www.amazafamily.com/monkey.html -<>- 26 Actors Who Were Completely Miscast (For Huge Roles) From Cracked.com: You know that feeling when you're watching a movie or show, and something about it just rings hollow? The story is fine, the script is fine, it's a stellar cast, and yet somehow you're just not buying it? It's usually because a major role has the wrong actor in it. It's not that the person can't act. They were just dead-wrong for the role, and it shows. https://tinyurl.com/ycyrrgn9 Fitting Pieces Try this puzzle game and see if you can fill in all the gaps. The more puzzles you do the more challenging it becomes! It's not as easy as it looks. http://www.addictinggames.com/puzzle-games/fittingpieces.jsp THE UPSIDE DOWN MAP PAGE This site puts a whole new perspective on the world. Here you will see maps with South at the top and North at the bottom. And you can read about other maps that are printed with the East in the top or center of the map. http://www.flourish.org/upsidedownmap/ Wild Turkey Refuses to Leave Home, Poses for Police Photos https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=NI8P50zI8UI Drowning Osprey Bird Rescued by BRAVE Woman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KqrLDj9K_Q Starving Eagle Rescued from Well https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaoPAMeG7ck TOP 15 INCREDIBLE ACTS OF KINDNESS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hYDJ_YYyQ4 -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) A tribute to the fun rock-and-roll dancing of the 60's. - video - oldie In order of appearance: The Avengers (Diana Rigg, Patrick Macnee) | The Andy Griffith Show | The Addams Family | The Dick Van Dyke Show (Mary Tyler Moore) | Gomer Pyle USMC | The Patty Duke Show | The Doris Day Show | Gidget (Sally Field) | Batman | Bewitched | Gilligan's Island | I Dream of Jeannie | Mr. Ed | The Beverly Hillbillies | That Girl. Music: "Let's Dance" by Chris Montez (1962). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPj3SJcx0Wc If you love cool videos filmed from above then I think you’re going to enjoy this amazing aerial look at New York City. “Above NYC” was filmed using a SHOTOVER K1 HAMMERHEAD Aerial Camera Array and several 8K cameras so when the final film is processed it is 12K by 8k. This basically means it is almost 50x more detailed than a 1080p HD video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN3uF3990Q0 If you love New York City then you’re going to enjoy watching the “Colors of New York” filmed in 8K by photographer Jansoli. The City That Never Sleeps is full of vibrant colors and life. https://vimeo.com/179629541 If the thought of driving in New York City is less than desirable then rest assured that driving around New York City in 1928 wasn’t much better. One would think that the roads would be less congested and the drivers more polite but as you can see from this silent film “Speedy” things weren’t much better. The film starred comedian Harold Lloyd as a crazy taxi driver and was directed by Ted Wilde. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkqz3lpUBp0 --- ...Wow! Beautiful! These are great! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- >From Our Friend Geniann :) This is a happy music vid. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09R8_2nJtjg On a quiet street, in an old downtown, behind an unassuming store front, you'll find a monument to heroes. Each portrait depicts a fallen solder, a child who will never return to their parents but even though they are gone, one dedicated volunteer has adopted them all... It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you Ken "the dauber" Pridgeon and the "Portrait Of A Warrior Memorial Art Gallery". http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=lRGWUFEeXZw&vq=medium --- ...So Touching! Thanks Geniann! -<>- >From Our Friend Melody :) Classic TV Commercials: 1948, part 3-7 - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_rbO8v038M UNEXPLAINED AMERICA - UNSOLVED MYSTERIES! http://www.prairieghosts.com/unex_america.html --- ...Wowsers! Thanks Melody! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "The 12 boys who were rescued from a cave in Thailand last week are about to be released from the hospital. They said the first thing they want to eat is KFC. Then their doctor was like, 'Dear God, haven't you been through enough?'" -Jimmy Fallon "A South Carolina elementary school's lunch program has added a food truck that serves the kids buffalo wings, tacos, and mac-and-cheese. It's all in keeping with the school's motto: 'It's Never Too Early To Give Up.'" -Conan O'Brien "The website Vice has published a new article profiling items found in the New York's subway system's Lost and Found. The most common thing lost on the subway? An hour and a half." -Seth Meyers "A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself." -Lisa Kirk "Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own short- comings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters." --Margaret Halsey "Since childhood is a time when kids prepare to be grown ups, I think it makes a lot of sense to completely traumatize your children. Gets 'em ready for the real world" --George Carlin "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph." --Shirley Temple "I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy." --Frank Zappa "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" --Ronald Reagan "There's an epidemic of snapping turtles in Central Park. I saw one today trying to mate with a bike helmet." - David Letterman "If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." - Tallulah Bankhead "Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence." - Robert Frost >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************