It Is Good To Be A Woman & More ... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Group home page:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
or Web Site:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html
Group email address:
ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com
or email me here:
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
===========================
>-->In The 'Shangy' News:
I've been working more on the Bible Pages. Over the weekend
I got another dozen of them done. Here are a few you may
not have seen before:
BibleStudy: Law Of Believing Part #1
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/lawofbelieving1.html
BibleStudy: Law Of Believing Part #2
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/lawofbelieving2.html
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.-, ,, ,-. |
_ \(::)/ _ / | \
( '.3 E.' ) ;_/,L-,\_;
/'__'\ \._/3 E\_./ ARV
( ) \_./(::)\._/
''
BibleStudy: FEAR: Feeling Kind Of Buggy [story]
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/BibleStudy/fearfeelingkindofbuggy.html
----------------------
>I added photos to our group here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList
** Also be sure to check our group files - Little Brother is new!
Thank You Doug & Patty, And STEVE for Sharing With Us!!
-<>-
>Hot Off The 'Shangy' Press!
.--. .-, .-..-.__
.'(`.-` \_.-'-./` |\_(_"\__
__.>\ '; _;---,._| / __/`'--)
/.--. : |/' _.--.<| / | |
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>_.-``-. `Y /' _;---.`|/))))
'` .-''. \|: \.' __, .-'"`
.'--._ `-: \/: /' '.\ _|_
/.'`\ :; /' `- `-|-`
-` | | |
:.; : | .-'~^~`-.
|: | .' _ _ `.
|:. | | |_) | |_) |
:. : | | | \ | | |
.jgs. : ; | |
-."-/\\\/:::. `\."-._'."-"_\\-| |///."-
" -."-.\\"-."//.-".`-."_\\-.".-\\`=.........=`//-".
TRICKS FOR TREATS #1
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats.html
TRICKS FOR TREATS #2
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tricksfortreats2.html
AND NOW - - This one is SMOKING!
Thanks goes to Patty & Doug for this inspiration:
They made me go look for some photos!
HORSE COSTUMES
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/horsecostumes.html
Here's Their newsletter...
-------------------
>-->From our Friends Patty & Doug :)
(\w/)
(.. \
_/ ) \______
(oo /'\ )`,
`--' (v __( / ||
||| ||| ||
//_| //_| jv
Happy Fall everyone! Next Sunday the 28th is our 2nd annual "Scary Horse
Show". This is a fun, social event that YOU and YOUR horse are costumed.
(You do not need to participate in the costume to come and have fun). It
will be a potluck affair so bring your best "ghoulish" dish. As far as
costumes go it's up to you...keep it simple and if you have any
questions please call me and I'll help you out.
WHERE: The Hill's (map attached) [see group photos]
RSVP: PLEASE; I need a count for the meat and sodas
START TIME: 10:30 (arrival time)
END TIME: 3:00 or so
EVENTS: People costume contest
Horse costume contest
Best "ghoulish dish"
PRIZES: You bet!!!
Since some of our hoofed friends may be concerned about the "dressed up"
equine next to them, this will be unmounted, just to keep things safe.
Latter you are more than welcome to ride your horse safely on our
property. Our Chapter supplies the meat, water and soft drinks. Plenty
of room for any size trailers. Last year we had some great costumes and
a wonderful time. Join in on the fun or come and laugh with us. Hope to
see you there! Patty Hill
=======================================================================
>-->From The FunnyBone:
___
(___)
Carjacking Foiled: /` `\
/ /"\ \
An elderly lady did her shopping and upon \_/o o\_/
return found 4 males in her car. She dropped ( _ )
her shopping bags and drew her handgun, `\ /`
proceeding to scream at them at the top of /\\V//\
her voice that she knows how to use it and / /_ _\ \
that she will if required.... so get out of \ \___/ /
the car. \/===\/
|| ||
The 4 men didn't wait around for a second || ||
invitation but got out and ran like mad, ||___||
where upon the lady proceeded to load her |_____|
shopping bags into the back of the car jgs |||
and got into the drivers seat. Small / Y \
problem, her key wouldn't fit the ignition. `"`"`
Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down.
She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.
The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two
with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where four
pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly,
white woman......no charges were filed.
======================================================================
+----------------- Bizarre Entertainment ------------------+
FACTS
Captain Jean-Luc Picard's fish was named Livingston.
Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous 45 second
shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie, Psycho, which
actually took 7 days to shoot.
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
George Harrison, with "My Sweet Lord," was the first Beatle
to have a Number 1 hit single following the group's break-
up.
In 1920, 57% of Hollywood movies billed the female star
above the leading man. In 1990, only 18% had the leading
lady given top billing.
In 1969, Midnight Cowboy became the first and only X-rated
production to win the Academy Award for Best Picture. (Its
rating has since been changed to R.)
In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer's name is Yensid, which
is Disney spelled backward.
Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison were all 27
years old when they died.
Mickey Mouse is known as 'Topolino' in Italy.
Movie detective Dirty Harry's badge number is 2211.
==================================================================
>-->From Our Friend Steve :)
>CATS RULE
. .
:"-. .-";
|:`.`.__..__.'.';|
|| :-" "-; ||
:; :;
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: __;` ':__ ;
; ' '-._:;_.-' ' :
'. `--' .'
."-._ _.-".
.' ""------"" `.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/866891/300_cats_parody/
-<>-
>FUN one Page: Goofy
http://tafmaster.com/taf/14142/252307/?referrer_url=http%3A//www.flashfunpages.com/goofy.htm
-<>-
>HOW THE FIGHT STARTED:
.-"""-.
/ \
\ /
.-"""-.-`.-.-.< _
/ _,-\ ()()_/:) This is what happened!
\ / , ` `|
'-..-| \-.,___, /
\ `-.__/ /
jgs `-.__.-'`
She rear-ended a car this morning. So there they were alongside the
road and slowly the other driver gets out of his car . . . and you know
how you just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?
Yeah, well, she could NOT believe it . . . he was a DWARF!
He storms over to her car, looks up at her and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, She looks down at him and says, "Well, which one are you then?"
. . . and that's when the fight started . . .
"Obviously he was "Grumpy"
-<>-
____
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'-._______.-'
|_ |_ |
| | |
|__|__/
jgs .-"'-'|--|
'.___,_|""|
\__/
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The
house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old
girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he
helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The
paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help
and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had
just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the
first place........ smack his butt again.'
If you didn't laugh on this one, there's no help for you..
---
..A Good Ones! Thanks Steve!
===============================================================
>-->From JokeCentral:
Price of Oranges
Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in
her neighborhood. She approached the vendor and
asked, "How much are these oranges?"
"Two for a quarter," answered the vendor.
"How much is just one?" she asked.
"Fifteen cents," answered the vendor.
"Then I'll take the other one," said Mrs.
Goldberg.
-<>-
A Hot Dog Please
______________
.-' `-.
(____________________)
( )
jgs ( `----------------' )
`------------------'
A local fast food restaurant had just started
offering chili dogs.
My grandson does not like chili so I ordered a
hot dog. I was told they did not have hot dogs. I
said, "But you have chili dogs."
The lady thought about it a moment then said, "Oh
well, I can't give you a hot dog, but I can give
you a chili dog without chili!" She turned
to the kitchen behind her and said, "One
chili-dog, hold the chili."
It really happened at Krystal in Tupelo,
Mississippi.
-<>-
Drug Shirt
My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced
just before school that she needed to take a
clean tee shirt to class. She told us the
teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on
it.
My wife frantically swept through my daughter's
room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt
that already had something printed on one side.
She sent it off to school with my daughter.
That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily
showed off her shirt.
On one side it said, "Families are Forever."
And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."
-<>-
Four Letter Words
A young couple got married and left on their
honeymoon. When they got back, the bride
immediately called her mother. Her mother asked,
"How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was
wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as
soon as we returned Sam started using the most
horrible language...things I'd never heard
before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words!
You've got to come get me and take me home....
Please mama!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down!
Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter
words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the
daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too
awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so
upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter
words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words
like DUST, WASH, IRON, COOK...!"
-<>-
New Services
A church congregation that decided to have four
worship services each Sunday.
There was one for those new to the faith.
Another for those who liked traditional worship.
One for those who'd lost their faith and would
like to get it back. And another for those who
had bad experiences with churches and were
complaining about it.
The church came up with names for each of the
services: FINDERS, KEEPERS, LOSERS, WEEPERS
-<>-
Military Computer
The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super
computer to the top brass. This fantastic
device, capable of making bazillions of decisions
in split nanoseconds, is designed to solve all
military problems with the greatest of ease. To
test its capabilities, the brass poses a tactical
problem to it and then asks for a decision,
"Attack or Retreat?"
The computer hums a bit, blinks a myriad of
lights and answers, "Yes."
The brass, somewhat confused by this answer,
replies, "Yes what?"
The computer instantly replies, "Yes, sir!"
-<>-
Cheap Lesson
Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the
floor of her son's room, a mother finally laid
down the law: each item of clothing she had to
pick up would cost her son 25 cents.
By the end of the week, he owed her $1.50. She
received the money promptly, along with a 50-
cent tip and a note that read,
"Thanks, Mom; keep up the good work!"
-<>-
>It is good to be a woman:
.
L\ .-""-.
|\_ / (--> \
\ \'--.)_>_=/_(
\ )`-._/|_,( _.
|_\ (_ ( \ /.-
.' `\ ) \_/\ \.'/
_.','\ _/\ ( '._/
/_/` \ /
jgs '-..-']
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious
gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when
dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival
the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse
ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to
know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever
touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to
make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without
having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are
aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can
solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are
in their presence because they aren't listening
anyway.
--- Judi Burns
(What did she say? - J.R.)
============================================================
>-->From Out Friend Fig :)
___ ___
.'` `""--.._..--""` `'.
/ .-""-"-""-. \
| / \ |
\, | .--.-.--. | ,/
(_'- |` > `| -'_)
/ | < | \
| (__..---..__) |
| (`|\o_/ \_o/|`) |
| \( > )/ |
| [>=| --- |=<] |
| ,\__\ /__/, |
|.____.|\==='-'===/|.____.|
\_____;_\=======/_;_____/
| _)'.===.'(_ |
; \-._\_/_.-/ ;
/\_\_\_\ () /_/_/_/\
'-.._____.-'-._____..-'
| /`\ |
|_ | | _|
_.;____ | | ____;._
jgs /` `| |` `\
'------'--' '--'------'
>You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
.-.
.-. /___\
/___\ /.....\
/.....\ /:::::::\ .-.
/:::::::\ /#########\ /___\
/#########\ ########### /.....\
########### `"""""""""`/:::::::\
`"""""""""` /#########\
jgs ###########
`"""""""""`
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
.--. .--.
| = o\ | = o\
\= =_/ \= =_/
)= \____ )= \____
; = _|__-\ ; = _|__-\
|= ----.\ |= ----.\
('.==| ('.==|
/ \=\=\ / \=\=\
_.' /=/\=\_ _.' /=/\=\_
_jgs_..-' /__) \__)__..-' /__) \__)
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your
Balance and fall over.
.-"""".
/ \
__ / .-. .\
/ `\ / \/ \
| _ \/ .==.==.
| ( \ /____\__\
\ \ (_()(_()
\ \ '---._
\ \_
/\ |` (__)________/
/ \| /\___/
| \ \||VV
| \ \|"""",
| \ ______)
\ \ /`
jgs \(
6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask,"
And you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or ."
And can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
.-.
heehee /aa \_
__\- / ) .-.
.-. (__/ / heehee _/oo \
_/ ..\ / \ ( \v /__
( \ u/__ / \__ \/ ___)
\ \__) \_.-._._ ) .-. / \
/ \ `-` / ee\_ / \_
__/ \ __\ o/ ) \_.-.__ )
( _._.-._/ hoho (___ \/ '-'
jgs '-' / \
_/ \ teehee
( __.-._/
'-'
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your
hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
And the number one reason Seniors should not go Trick Or Treating...
*
*
*
.:\:/:.
.:\:\:/:/:.
:.:\:\:/:/:.:
:=.' - - '.=:
'=(\ 9 9 /)='
( (_) )
/`-vvv-'\
/ \
/ /|,,,,,|\ \
/_// /^\ \\_\
WW( ( ) )WW
__\,,\ /,,/__
jgs (______Y______)
1. You keep having to go home to pee.
.-----.
.' - - '.
/ .-. .-. \
| | | | | |
\ \o/ \o/ / No matter,
_/ ^ \_
| \ '---' / | have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.
/ /`--. .--`\ \
/ /'---` `---'\ \
'.__. .__.'
`| |`
| \
\ '--.
'. `\
`'---. |
jgs ,__) /
`..'
(if the shoe fits, uh, uh, I forgot!)
---
...TeeHee! Thanks Fig!
===================================================================
>-->In The Worldly News:
My Brother is a Boy Scout Leader - so of course this bugs me:
>From AFA: Philadelphia punishes Boy Scouts because of their beliefs
The city of Philadelphia has decided to punish the Boy Scouts of America
because it will not allow homosexuals to serve as Scout Leaders. City
officials said they will charge the Cradle of Liberty Scouts Council
$200,000 a year to use the city-owned headquarters. The Council was
paying $1 per year (since 1928). The city owns the land on which the
Council's 1928 Beaux Arts building sits.
The city says it is charging the scouts $200,000 a year because the
scouts discriminate against homosexuals. But the city finds nothing
wrong with their discrimination against the scouts because of the
scouts' belief.
The action by city officials means that 30 new Cub Scout packs won't be
organized, and that 800 needy kids will not be going to the Council's
summer camp if the city charges them $200,000.
The Supreme Court ruled in 2000 that the scouts, as a private group,
have a First Amendment right to bar homosexuals from membership.
Philadelphia officials, in an effort to appease the homosexual
activists, began searching for a way to punish the scouts. The rent
increase was the vehicle to do that.
The Cradle of Liberty Council serves about 64,000 scouts in Philadelphia
and its suburbs.
Take Action
* Send an e-mail to Philadelphia officials protesting their
discrimination against the Boy Scouts:
http://tinyurl.com/37vb7m
* Forward this to friends and family and ask them to send the
e-mail.
Sincerely,
P.S. Please help us get this information into the hands of as many
people as possible by forwarding it to your family and friends.
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
_
/_\
)" '
,\
./.'\
_.`-; '
.'/ / .\
.' / / //
__/_.' |(\`\
--jgs''-- /'_.]--''- _\| `-| ---''''---....--'
`"""' `"" `
- Burglar not-so-merry maid before arrest --------
MONTGOMERY, Ala. - A Montgomery, Ala., couple fussed with
a burglar who messed up their house, making the intruder
tidy up at gunpoint. When the couple, Adrian and Tiffany
McKinnon, returned home from a trip, they discovered
thieves had cleaned out their residence of almost every-
thing the family of five owned, the Montgomery Advertiser
reported. "Tears just rolled down my face as I walked in
and saw everything gone and piles of trash all over my
home," said the woman. Her husband was walking through
the house when a man walked through a door, wearing Adrian
McKinnon's hat. McKinnon held the suspect -- Tajuan
Bullock, 33, of Montgomery -- at gunpoint while trying to
decide what to do, his wife said. "We made this man clean
up all the mess he made," while waiting for police, she
said. When the police arrived, the wife said Bullock "had
the nerve to raise sand about us making him clean up." The
officers laughed.
\\\\\\,
/.. \\\
< D
\_-'_/
<\ (>,_
/ \Y/ /` \
|| # | |
-- Man rescued from septic tank --------------
FRANKFORT SPRINGS, Pa. - An elderly western Pennsylvania
man was rescued from his septic tank after he fell in while
trying to do repair work. Red Davidson, 77, of Frankfort
Springs was rescued after about 45 minutes in the tank
Wednesday, The Beaver County Times reported. Davidson lives
behind the County Line Pizza & Deli, which his son, Paul,
owns. The two men had been planning to work on the tank
together, but Davidson decided to start on his own. When
Paul arrived, he heard his father calling for help but
could not see him. Firefighters used Davidson's backhoe
to widen the opening to the tank and then pulled him out
with a safety harness. Paramedics removed Davidson's
clothes and washed him down before he was flown to a
hospital in Pittsburgh. Paul Davidson said his father
remains active. "He takes too many risks," he said. "He
does stuff now that 20 years ago, he would've yelled at
me for doing."
_ .-=-. .-==-.
{ } __ .' O o '. / -<' )
{ } .' O'. / o .-. O \ / .--v`
{ } / .-. o\ /O / \ o\ /O /
\ `-` / \ O`-'o / \ O`-`o /
jgs `-.-` '.____.' `.____.'
- New York woman finds python in toilet -----------
NEW YORK - There were no clues Thursday as to how a 7-foot
python came to be lodged in the toilet of a New York
woman's apartment. Nadege Brunacci, 38, told the New York
Daily News she thought she was hallucinating Monday morning
when she went into the bathroom and saw the serpent looking
up at her from the toilet bowl. Brunacci said she slammed
the lid down, put a heavy box on top of it and called the
fire department, WABC-TV, New York, reported. She then
flushed the toilet, which drove the reptile to an apartment
downstairs, the report said. Her landlord, fire officials
and several plumbers converged and began cutting pipes and
retrieved the python. It was taken to a Brooklyn animal
rescue center, which was searching for a home for it,
WCBS-TV, New York, said. City bylaws forbid keeping pythons
as pets.
==============================================================
>-->From Our Friends Del, Casey, & Mr.Wu :)
>INTERESTING OBSERVATION
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
.-""""""-.
.' :'.
/ : \
:`. . :
| ' . |
: ` . :
\ : /
'. . .'
jgs '-......-'
2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING
.-.
\ / .-.
|_| .-. \ /
|=| \ / |_|
/ \ |_| |=|
/ (@) \|=|/ \
____ | / \@) \
.' '. / (@) \ |
/ # \ | | |
| o o |'='| | /
\ o / \ /'='
jgs '.____.' '='
3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
_.-=""=-._
.'\\-++++-//'.
jgs ( || || )
'.// \\.'
`'-=..=-'`
4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
_ ____ __
/ \ .' '. ____......------""""""""````` `\
| `::-/'-....-'\--""``` |
| :: | | |
| ,:'-\.-''''-./--..___ /
jgs \_/ '.____.' ````````````"""""""------------'
5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
,-"""-.
/\ /\
| | | |
\/ \/
jgs '-...-'
and....
6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
____
.:'o o ':.
// o o o \\
|o o o o||
\\o o o //
':.o_o_.:'
`\__/`
)(
||
||
jgs ||
\/
THE AMAZING CO NCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure,
the smaller your balls become.
---
...Good one! Thanks Del!
===============================================================
>-->From ScreamOfTheCrop:
An old man was grocery shopping with his grandson. The toddler was
crying and at times screaming at the top of his lungs. As the old
gentleman walked up and down the aisles, people could hear him
speaking in a soft voice.
"We are almost done, Albert.
Try not to cry, Albert...
Life will get better, Albert..."
As he approached the checkout stand, he carefully brushed the toddler's
tears from his eyes and said again,
"Try not to cry, Albert...
We will be home soon, Albert..."
As he was paying the cashier, the toddler continued to cry.
A young woman in line behind him said, "sir, I think it is wonderful how
sweet you are being to your little Albert."
The old gentleman blinked his eyes a couple of times before saying,
"Miss, my grandson's name is John. I'm Albert."
-<>-
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied.
"Two years older than me"
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is
the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't
hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications
that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with
dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank
God, I still have my driver's license.
====================================================================
>-->From Clean Laffs:
'\ . .
\ . ' .
O>> . 'o
\ .
/\ .
/ / .'
^^^^^jgs^^^^^^^`^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down out-
side the operating room where another golfer who had a golf
ball driven down his throat, was being treated.
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside
the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man, "That's my ball!"
-<>-
When I was a child my family used to sometimes take our
vacations, in British Columbia. In those days all Canadians
appreciated their American neighbors. We had a favorite
place to visit, mostly because of the fine fishing. It was
at a Lake that was about 30 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide.
While we were around our campfire in the evening the local
Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They
would also tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend
always stuck in my mind.
It seemed that on this particular Lake two Indian Tribes
made their homes. They were, however, at war, with one
another from years before.
There was an Indian Maiden in one Camp who was in love with
a young Brave in the other Camp. They used to stand, on the
shore, each on their respective side of the Lake, and chant
Indian love calls to each other...even though they were
warned by their Chiefs that nothing could ever come of it.
One day they just could not stand being apart any longer.
That evening, on a cold Fall night, they each jumped into
the Lake and swam towards each other in the Moonlight. When
they reached each other in the center of the Lake, they
embraced and, very quickly, froze to death. This act so im-
pressed the Brave's Tribe that they named the Lake after the
young man.
I will never forget those wonderful vacations that we spent
at "Lake Stupid".
-<>-
One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's
Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests
near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made
some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about
the conditions we might run into, we drove on.
Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain
Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles
farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one
was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile.
We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery,
and it read: "Ice 75 cents."
-<>-
When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite
friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who
had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed,
with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship
might be a possibility between us.
"So what changed your mind?" I asked him.
"I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age
difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He
looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone
who's 104?'"
-<>-
I used to live in New Brunswick, New Jersey, the home of
Rutgers University.
The new flock of kids attending college always includes
those who need a little help with everyday chores they
themselves never did before, such as laundry or grocery-
shopping.
I was in the dairy aisle for some eggs. As usual, I opened
the carton to check them over before putting them in my
cart. Beside me, a young man did the same to his carton...
then leaned toward me and asked, "What are we looking for?"
-<>-
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing
of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The
personnel office sent this reply...
"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one
broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
-<>-
>-->From The Jokester:
A Trip to the Psychic
A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly
departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her
hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a
coherent voice emanates saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?"
The woman, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds,
"Grandmother? Is that you?"
"Yes granddaughter, it's me."
"It's really, really you, grandmother?” the woman repeats.
"Yes, it's really me, granddaughter."
The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?"
"Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me."
The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for
you."
"Anything, my child."
"Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"
-<>-
.===.
/ ,,, \ .===.
( /6.6\ ) ////\\\ .===.
)( _ )( ((/6.6\)) /_____\__ .===.
( ,'---', ) )( _ )( `\/6.6\/--` ////\\\
/ (\-/) \ ((()---())) ( _ ) \/6.6\/
/_ /o o\ _\ / `@` \ ,'---', ( _ )
| _\ Y /_ | /\/ \/\ / _ \ ,'---',
\(_ `~` _)/ \ | | / /_/ (_) \_\ / \
/ / \ \ \| |/ \ | (_) | / /_/ \_\
/ ()/^\() \ |_____| \|_____|/ \| |/
/. . . . . .\ |__|__| | | | (|_____|)
`"`"|`|`|"`"` | | | | | | |__|__|
|_|_| |_|_| \__|__/ |_|_|
jgs _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_ _|_|_|_
(___|___) (___|___) (___|___) (___|___)
>Grandparents
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a moment,
and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
--
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
--
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods. The little
girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish
I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
--
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
--
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
computer. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
--
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color
it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was
fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying
sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of this
yourself!"
--
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming
after us with flashlights."
--
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four to six."
--
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es'"
--
Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a
teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The
teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
--
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing
the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one
youngster. "No, said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
--
When a grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to
Israel. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and
get all her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so she
gave him a litany of complaints -- this hurts, that's stiff, I'm
tired and slower, etc.
He responded, "Mrs. Siegel, you have to expect things to start
deteriorating. After all, who wants to live to 100?"
The grandmother looked him straight in the eye and replied, "Anyone
who's 99."
===================================================================
>-->From The MouthPiece:
Here are 10 things you may not know about our favorite
video game character Mario:
- Mario was first seen in the video game Doonkey Kong, but
he was called "Jumpman." He was also a carpenter then,
not a plumber.
- Mario was named after Mario Segale, the llandlord of
Nintendo of America's office, who barged in on a company
meeting demanding an overdue rent.
- Shigeru Miyamoto drew Mario as wearing a cap because
he found drawing hair difficult. He also drew in the
moustache, because it was easier to see than a mouth
in the crude video game screen resolution back then.
- Mario and his younger brother Luigi are kknown as the
"Mario Brothers." This means that Mario's last name is
also Mario, so his full name is Mario Mario.
- Mario is voice-acted by Charles Martinet,, who crashed
the audition for "an Italian plumber from Brooklyn"
character.
- Mario's nemesis is Wario (a combination oof "warui", the
Japanese word for bad, and Mario). Similarly, Luigi's
rival is Waluigi. Both are also voiced by Charles
Martinet.
- Mario has appeared in over 200 video gamees so far, has
sold over 193 million units of games (all of the Mario
series) and even has his own TV cartoon show. Super Mario
Bros. 3 alone grossed over $500 million in USA.
- TV Schmeve, you're nothing till there's aan opera done on
you. In 2003, Jonathan Mann of California Institute of
Arts created The Mario Opera, a rock opera.
- Super Mario Bros. theme music, written byy Koji Kondo,
is known worldwide. It has inspired countless fan-
renditions, including one played by Zack Kim on two
guitars (viewed over 4 million times on YouTube!),
played by Jean Baudin on 11 string bass, beatboxed by
Greg Patillo on the flute, and played by the Oregon
Pro Arte Chamber Orchestra on the trombones.
- Mario is the most famous character in thee history of
video games, and perhaps is the most famous character
ever. In a 1990 poll by Marketing Evaluations, Mario
was found to be more popular (and recognizable) among
children than Mickey Mouse.
=============================================================
>-->Fun Places To Net Visit:
>From Linky & Dinky:
7 HAUNTING MUST-SEE MINUTES
It's not just a song with a story.
It's about something you'll suddenly
realize once it's pointed out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOWrqR_QFfg
ANIMALS HAVE EMBRYOS TOO
Don't hate them because they're
beautiful. Stuff them into a
jar of formaldehyde.
http://tinyurl.com/2gvppu
TIME-TRAVELLING E-MAIL
Yes! Send an e-mail to yourself
into the future. You'll be glad
to hear from that old sumbitch one day.
http://www.futureme.org/
THOU SHALT KNOW YOUR BIBLE, a quiz.
50 questions, I got 77%.
Beat that, or you're a heathen.
http://www.gotoquiz.com/ultimate_bible_quiz
-<>-
>From LynnLynns Links:
This is a reminder letter to email me all your sites at
BABYLISSA73@AOL.COM ...Also please give me a vote click onto the number
#5 head to rate my picture thank you here's the link
http://www.chillertv.com/Americas_Next_Top_Monster/Gallery/33939.shtml
Love and hugs, Melissa
Vacation In Heaven/Marlene
http://summerhoosier.250free.com/HTML2/Vacationinheaven.html
John w/ Autumn's Glory
http://heavens-gates.com/autumnsglory/
Carol w/Inspiring Friend
http://www.carolspoetry.com/myinsp.html
AngelOh w/Over the Hill
http://www.angel9oh7.com/gboverthehill.html
Movies
Bad Idea
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032906.htm
Watch Out For That Tree
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032907.htm
Close One
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032908.htm
Anchors Away
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062712.htm
Animal Planet Parrot
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062713.htm
Animal Thieves
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062714.htm
Weddings Aren't Always Perfect
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/062715.htm
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet,
send a blank e-mail to
LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
=============================================================
>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"The New York City subway system announced that it will hire
350 new workers to clean up the subway. So this brings the
number of workers cleaning the subway to 350." -Conan O'Brien
"The National Hobo Convention opened yesterday in Britt,
Iowa. Planned activities include a parade, a flea market
and a knife fight over a bottle of hooch." -Jay Leno
"The Dalai Lama is here in the United States. This morning
he was awarded the congressional gold medal for his contri-
bution to peace, human rights, religious understanding...
unfortunately, a few hours after the ceremony, he was strip-
ped of his medal after testing positive for performance-
enhancing drugs." -Jimmy Kimmel
"There’s a fair going on in Vienna. A divorce fair. What
would the rides there be? Half of the Haunted Mansion. I
need some Space Mountain." -Craig Ferguson
"Historic day at the White House. President Bush met the
Dalai Lama. There was an awkward moment when Bush said,
'Who's the bald chick in the dress?'" -Conan O'Brien
"Campaign news: Hillary Clinton, so far, has raised $35
million in three months. That's the most money raised by
any woman if you don't count what Oprah has made since
March." -Dave Letterman
"Also winning a Nobel Prize was a scientist who won an award
for chemistry. He won the award for understanding how iron
rusts. There’s a cocktail party you don’t want to miss."
-Jay Leno
"Mayor Bloomberger is planting 1 million trees in New York
City. Well, we need more trees, because currently, squirrels
have to wait until another squirrel dies before they can move
into a tree." -David Letterman
"According to Forbes magazine, the richest woman in China
is a 26-year-old woman. Know what she does? She sells lead
paint."
- Jay Leno
"Last night, the New York Yankees were eliminated from the
playoffs by the Cleveland Indians. The Yankees are upset
because the season is over, and the Indians are upset
because they have to go back to Cleveland."
- Conan O'Brien
"Today is day four in Pamela Anderson's marriage. Bad news
for me — I had three days in the office pool."
- David Letterman
>Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :)Shangy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html
FUN URLS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-->Bigham's Computer Rescue - PC Sales & Seervice
You can trust us to provide you with quality computer sales and repair.
We've been servicing the Van Wert area since 1981 and can help you with
all your computer needs. Please phone us at 419-238-5806
************************************************************************
-->This is for all you who love food and DAARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Home Recipes
>Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE:
Share
A Recipe
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