It's Punny And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->OoooWEeeee!! oo 8 "} > @ < .8 .-._/| .'_'`')`_.' \| ) / (>'/ |_,_ | (,| .' ,'\| `._/ ) \| '`- -- ''-- --- VK/ejm I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because Shangrala has been blessed with a generous donation from Dan Libbey from Florida. He stepped up to the plate to become our newest Shangrala Angel. He wrote that he is a veteran that served in Germany and in Vietnam. We certainly do appreciate his service! Thank You Dan and all our veterans! We sure do thank God for him and all our past wonderful angels! If you'd like to help too and be counted as a Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up. NOTE: Paypal will generate a 'Quantity 1' and 'Price per item' form. Just ignore the price per item and put whatever it is you desire to give in there. With Paypal, you will have your normal receipt for your 'payment' donation in USD (United States Dollars). You can put a memo in there if you'd like. EVERY LITTLE BIT WILL HELP! Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed! PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help: http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html OR If you'd rather send us a donation, Please MAIL it here: Elrhea Bigham 502 S. Harrison Van Wert, OH 45891 *~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS YOU MOST ABUNDANTLY FOR YOUR GIFT! ================ *~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny, inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here... bcrsystems@earthlink.net I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!! AND For Facebook Users: Please Friend Me / Like Me here... http://tinyurl.com/cma6all AND For Google Plus Users: You can find me here... Shangy Bigham https://plus.google.com/106648555948034085752/posts AND Please Share This email with All Your Friends And Family! ^~^ May God SUPER BLESS You As You Do! THANK YOU! :) -<>- * NOTE: An easy way to adjust the size of print in email or any page is to hold down the Ctrl tab while moving the scroll button on the mouse. You can also use the keyboard to change the font size in your web browser or emails. Hold down the Ctrl key while pressing the + key for larger text or the - key for smaller text! ================ >-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) Our newest flaming hot page is from our friends MDPatD, Linda, and Bunni. It is one that is sure to give your aww quota for the day and bring many warm smiles your way. Be sure to check it out here... ________________ '------._.------'\ \_______________\ .'| .'| .'_____________.' .| | | | | Scooby _.-. | . | | * (_.-' | | | Snacks | .| | * * | .' |______________|.' LGB Aww Animals 11! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/animals11.html --- ...Such a cute one! Thank you my friends! Our next red hot new page is from our friends Geniann and Linda. This collection will spark your imagination and some may even tickle your funny bone. Be sure to check out the video here too for more laughs! .-------------. . . * * /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/ \ * . ) . //_/_/_/_/_/_// _ \ __ . . /_/_/_/_/_/_/_/|/ \.' .`-o | ||-'(/ ,--' | || _ | | ||'' || |_____________|| |_|L hjm Brilliant Ads! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/ads2.html --- ...These sure are clever! Thanks Ladies! ======================================================= >-->From SmileZilla: _______ _______ _______ | | | ___| | | | | ___| | |__|_|__|_______|__|____| _______ ______ _______ _______ _______ _______ ______ _______ _______ | ___| __ \ | | | | ___| _ | __ \_ _| | | | ___| < - | | | ___| | < | | | | |___| |___|__|_______|__|_|__| |_______|___|___|___|__| |___| |___|___| _______________________ // _..--~~~--.._ \\ ||_____/ | | | | \ __/ | || / ________ \ | ||__ / /........\ | | | | /........ \ | | _____________________| _| /......... \ | |________________ ; . . . . |_/ | |......... | | | .''."... ... . ___ ..~. _.' /| |........ | | | . ~ . ' . / \_.' | |........ | | |\ ~. ._..---._ |. /| \ \........ / / |/ . /\ /\ '""" ... ~~~ | \|| _.'\ \........ / /'._ _| // ~-._./ -\ ..~ | |_.~\\ \ \________/ / // '.| /__ __.\ ___ ..~. |_.~ \ \__________/ / _ ~-. ~~~~.. ~~~~~. .~ -. \__.---.________/ ______\. .''."... ... ./\ _| |---| = |__ \__\===\ '""" ... ~~~ / '. . |_|= |---| | _| \======\ ___ ..~. ..~ / . \ |= |___| || __. \ / _ |_______________| _. \ .''."... ./ / \___ ~~ \ \ '" .. ~~ / '' / \ / \ /\ ___ . / -- . /' __\____/ ____\___.' -- \ ___ ..~. / / / \\ -- _____// ~ - . \ ..-- /_..- ./. / _/ _|___ \\ . - _/) / ___ ./|__ / _/ (_____ / \\ . \ ~ / . . /___////_ / | / _/ (_____ \ \\ _./ .._ /~- /___/__/_ \ / _| /__/ _-- (_____ \:.\\______________/ ._ _ / \ /_.' | / / (_________/ ~~-| / // _|/ /- . __ |..~. _____ -.. ' " ..\==========/' \_/ _/ __ ___.. / \| / _____ \'.______/___....------......__\__/| ' | \ |\__________________|__|___/| ~~~~~.. - ~ ' ~ | _ \ /~ \ \ -- / \ | | | | | \_| | \ \ ~ // | _. |_| | | | . |-----.. \ / /- __|..~. _____ -.. ' " |_|_|_| _. | \_ \\ _ ./ ___| ~~~ .. - ~ ' | \__\___/__...------ | ~~~~~.. - ~ ' | .- | | . __ | | __.. | | ______ | . ~ ..~. _ __ -.. ' \ __| | | | | _ . / | | ~ |__.___|. | | __ | | | | | .. ' ~~~~~.. - ~ ' | '' / \ | | |___ __. .... - | _____... | | \______/ | ~~~~~.. - ~ ' | / '--| | ~~ | ~.. - ~ ' |/ | | __---- .. | . . _ ||____......._| | | |---- | | | ~~~~~.. - ~ ' '""" ... ~~~ | -. | | _.. | | .. // | | _~"". . | - \ | __----. .. \ ~~~.. - ~ ' |_____________| |_______________/ \_____________| |______________/ ' ... __ ~ / ----- \ /----------- \ __~~.. - ~ ' /___ ----\ /--...___ \ / ..-- | | __.. ___./ . . ~ - ~ '.. \ __________./ |_____________/ . - ~ ' ~~~~ ..._____~~~~~~JRO\___________/ \___________/ -_______...._____ .. ___ . ~~~~~~~~~~~. \ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~... _ ~ __ .... '' ..."" ....''' -_~~~ ~~~... _______ _______ _______ | | | __| _ | == | | |__ | | == |_______|_______|___|___| A group of astronauts are on the moon. They've been mining the surface, and have discovered that it really is made of cheese. One particular area of cheese that they're quite interested in is a large vein of brie, and they've already been there twice, and collected samples to be returned to mission control. All of a sudden, the radio crackles into life: "Mission control to cheese-base-one - we need you to get a third load of that brie!" But the astronauts are unhappy with the idea. They try to come up with all sorts of excuses why they shouldn't dig any more..."It'll spoil the environment if we take too much. We don't want to leave this place looking bad... After all - have you ever seen such a site in your life as brie mined thrice?" -<>- >Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies. - It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. - A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. - If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. - Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. - It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. - When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. - No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. - Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. - When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. - You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. - Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. - An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. - Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on. ======================================================= +------------ BIZARRE HOLIDAYS ------------+ August 7 is National Lighthouse Day August 8 is Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor's Porch Day August 9 is Book Lover's Day August 10 is Lazy Day and National S'mores Day August 11 is Presidential Joke Day and Son and Daughter Day August 12 is Middle Child's Day August 13 is Left Hander's Day ======================================================= >-->From GoodCleanFun: ) ,%, ) _(___[]_ %%%,&&&, ,%%, (;` /\ %Y/%&&&& %%%% ___/_____)__/ _\__ ,%%, ^^^||^&\Y&^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^%Y/%^^/ (_() ( | /____/\^^^%%%%^^ ` || _,..=xxxxxxxxxxxx, || |(' |LI (.)I| | LI || %\Y% -= /L_Y.-"""""""""`,-n-. ` @'---|__||___|_|____||_ || ___-=___.--'[========]|L]J: []\ __________@//@___________) )______ -= _ _ _ |/ _ ''_ " " ||[ -_ 4 | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ '-(_)-(_)----'v'-(_)--' jgs----------------------------------------------------------------- >Fire Safety Training When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "and then press the trigger to release the foam." Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin. The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?" In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin ... and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze. -<>- >Can I Help? One summer evening a young son came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help. His mother said, "No, but I appreciate you asking." The child responded, "Well, I appreciate you saying no." -<>- >Value of a Dollar Contrary to popular belief, most blondes do indeed know the value of a dollar. The other day a blonde from Atlanta had her car break down. The tow truck driver charged her $65.00 to take the car to the garage less than 10 miles away. When she told her husband that evening, he said that the driver had taken advantage of her. She said, "I thought so. But I made him earn it. I kept the brakes on all the way." -<>- >Non-Plumber's Helper Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire fixture. That's no small feat for a non- plumber. Jammed inside the drain was a purple rubber dinosaur, which belonged to my five-year-old son. I painstakingly got all the toilet parts together again, the tank filled, and I flushed it. However, it didn't work much better than before! As I pondered what to do next, my son walked into the bathroom. I pointed to the purple dinosaur I had just dislodged and told him that the toilet still wasn't working. "Did you get the green one, too?" he asked. -<>- >Give the Lawyer a Hand A young trial lawyer was defending a man accused of burglary. The lawyer, known for being witty (and the judge knows this) tried yet another one of his creative defenses. The judge, while not known for having a sense of humor, decided to hear the young lawyer out. "While my client admits he did, in fact, reach his arm into the window and remove a few trifling articles. However his arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by just his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he so chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. -<>- >Sport Salary One afternoon I was in our living room reading the sports pages. "This pitcher earns $3.2 million a year just for throwing a ball straight," I ranted to my wife. "Anyone can do that." I picked up a rubber ball that was lying next to my chair and threw it at a couch cushion. "Look at that," I bragged. "Bull's-eye!" My wife tossed the ball back and I threw again, hitting dead center. "Two in a row," I cheered. My third toss went wild and ricocheted into one of my wife's favorite pictures, knocking it off the end table. She didn't even look up. "And that," she said, "is why you make $32,000 a year." ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend LouiseA :) ___________ `:::::::::' ':::::::' -._:::::::_.- :""""""""""""""""": : . \ .- . : : : 0 0 .' : : ' ..::. : : ::::::: : .': ':::::' :`. : : "" : : `. : __ :.' ": .' ". : : : : : : ' : :_____ _____: __ : : :.--. grp ." " : ' : '. : .' `-...-"'-..-" >APHORISM: a concise statement of a principle a terse formulation of a truth or sentiment It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. We have enough "youth" How about a fountain of "smart"! The original "point and click" interface was a Smith & Wesson. A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party When blondes have more fun, do they know it? Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch! If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Red meat is not bad for you ........ Fuzzy, Green meat is bad for you. Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. Alabama state motto: At least we're not Mississippi ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY. The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population........Da! "You know why a banana is like a politician?" "He comes in and first he is green, then he turns yellow and then he turns rotten." "I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors." The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would 'hate' to have to try to make a living under the laws they've passed! --- ...Oh My! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- (\ _\_(`\_ `/` _ `/,-'=/` _,'|`._ /' `/` ,-' |||._ `-._ i_i _,-' ,-' || `__ `-._ "=(. .)=" _,-' _,-' --||- (..=`/._ `-/#\ ( i_i ,\ _,-' | )|_|-==` \_)`-/ /v "=(. .)=" ,' ,|/ \ |__||\ //|\\ / / #/ ,/ \ ( ,' ,' ((_.--._)) || )(/|\)' /# ; ,/ #,/v ,' ,' |`- -' ||/ (/\\ / #; ,/# ,/ ,' ' / | \ */"-._ |/ _____,-''"/_)/__ / ,',---|((_.--._(__/ _.--""_____)-//_______"-. (,-.)| `- -( _,"_.--"" |||(( __ "-.: ___,/ ;| \ */ _\'_," (\__/) |||\\\ |__`,()() . \ (,_.) (_| (__/,'_,' /_/)=\.\. = |||||| | `( ` ``\|\)\ ( ;.__| _,-'_,' =//. ==> _7)< |||||| |`` , ` * "") ___\ _,--'_,-' //_(7__/) ////\ |||||| |``` \___.--' \_"""_,--' <*)_//'"" )/_/-"""":|||||,""""(("-._/ | """" ) ( _(-' _.---"\___,----. |||||| | ,' "`._ ,(( | ) ( \_/' ,' _"" "_ `.||||| |,"\\'--._) "._ \ \_/<. .>""( ( . .) )|||| |\\ \/,"\\ /`--._) <. .>|_/\| \/ ) \,-( \(||||| | \\)"\\ \) ||_/( ( | |\/ /, \ \ )\\(:|||||,()""""-.:| | \ `-\ | |__\/, :`/-`._____,-""_,' ctr:| |"""\___,""""""""""""""\(_,( (__,-"||---""""""; \---""""---------""""""""````/////))----""""/ ~~~\ ~///////~ ~/~~~~~ \ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ /~~~~/ ~~/ ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >OLDIE-BUT-GOODIE BIBLE GROANERS - It's Punny! Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married? A. Ruthless Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds. Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. A Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord. Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. Q. What's the phone number of the Garden of Eden? A. ADAM-8-1-2 Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing. --- ...TeeHee! Thanks LouiseAu! -<>- _____ _ _____ ____ /_ /, | ,-, ) /'_`\ |_ _| | __| \ \> | `-'< | (_) | | | | _| ) )__ ,_ |_|`\_\ \___/ |_| |_| (_.-'_)__$ ;-'' pb >SMILES One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast.' Maybe it would take a few inches off of your bottom!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?' She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'! ---------- They say that when making love you burn off as many calories as you do running 8 miles. So, Who the heck runs 8 miles in 15 seconds? ---------- A man was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of cosmetics knocked on his door and asked to see his wife. The man told her that his wife wasn't home. "Well," replied the saleswoman, "could I please wait for her?" The man directed her to the living room and left her there for more than three hours. The saleswoman was getting really worried, so she called out to the man and asked, "May I know where your wife is?" "She went to the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she returning?" "I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now." ---------- The teacher was helping one of her pupils put on his boots. He asked for help and she could see why: even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet. The boy then announced, "These aren't my boots." The teacher bit her tongue so she wouldn't get right in his face and scream "Why didn't you say so?!?" as every fiber of her being wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill- fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots back onto his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots." ------------ After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." "It isn't possible," the man insisted. "This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations." "Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you two make love with?" The man seemed a bit ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months" "Well, there you have it!" the doctor said confidently. "It's rust! --- ...Oh for goodness sake! HaHa! Thanks LouiseAu! ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Linda :) -="""--.._ ""--...._\ ,b:--....---. || //'""------"' _.l+----.// .&$""' .'"=.. '. / | | ) \ _.-'@_.' '@_/ | .' " \ -._,-'^"""^'-, `. ,\""---___ |.. _.--._, \ .-"(,_\_""" _.' ' _,-; '"` ` " """' """' | |__ ,+ |-.`o o'"/| #| oO Oo"./ (#| | "|_, | '|> \ / `l ,' |,-----||' pjy lj lJ o@o o@o " " >Interesting - Letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd'... The letters 'a', 'b', 'c' & 'd' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of numbers 1 to 99 (Letter 'd' comes for the first time in Hundred) Letters 'a', 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999 (Letter 'a' comes for the first time in Thousand) Letters 'b' & 'c' do not appear anywhere in the spellings of 1 to 999,999,999 (Letter 'b' comes for the first time in Billion) and Letter 'c' does not appear anywhere in the spellings of entire English Counting! --- ...Now that is weird! Thanks Linda! -<>- _.-""""-. ( ': '. .___.' : : _.."----".._ .-" "-. ." ". .":.".. .' `. : '.' : :" "": : .-" .'""-: .-"""-. :": : : ". .' `. : " '-._ : : _:" : : "" : : : : _ : : : '. : : : `#. ' : : _:. : '. ' `#. : grp : '._ .' : . ." .-" :"-._ _.-" (_. '. ""------"" (_.: . : '.:`-' .::"- .:::::. .':::::::: ' `::::' " >Today's Groaners - So Punny! I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheelchair. Sat opposite an East Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realized she was just on standby. When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of s#xists. I mean, really! It's not as if she'd have to reverse the darn thing! Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six people in the bottom in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern. Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin’ into an envelope for?" "I'm sending a voicemail - what ya thick Dumbo!" Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service. -<>- >And then the fight started... One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started. ________________________________ My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to fool around?' 'No,' she answered.. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started. ________________________________ I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started. _______________________________ My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked her, "Do you know him?" "Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since." "My Gosh!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started. ________________________________ When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.." The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp. ______________________________ My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started. ________________________________ Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" And that's how the fight started. _______________________________ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to over 150 in about 3 seconds." I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started. ______________________________ After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.' And then the fight started. ________________________________ My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect, dear." And then the fight started. ________________________________ I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!' So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?' That's how the fight started. -<>- `-.__.-*-. .-*+- .-*'\: `-._/ .' .' ; .-' `._ .' / `-. `. / .-' `+. `. .' / .'\ `-. ; / / `. ` \ | _.' : \ \ | `-.-'/ _ '|\ \ ; ; `. : / / / .' `./.: ; ,|;: | \ \ . .-' .' .-'/ ;|| ::| | `. ; ; : / / .-' .' / :: ' :\ ,: | ,*"*-:' / /.'.-*' .'; ', / ; ; \ :.-*"*. |'TP' .-'.'' / .-' , //.' : ' . : '.s$P`| ; / .' .'/ .' .' <_.' ` |/ : '\ T$P : |/_.-*" /.'.-' ___ \ ___ |/ db. `. | .-'_.-' ; .' s$$$$$s ; s$$$$$s ; d$$ `-.+-; .'.-'_.-*' d$b T$$$$$P T$$$$$P/.d$$$b , /.'.-'\ \ ;/ $$ """ : """ ` $$ TP / : .' \ /, d$$ ; $$b / |/ [bug] ,:-. \ .-*' ' |; \__;`. ,' . `. / :__/ : | ; ; : | : `._ _.' ; "*--*" ` ` ' \ \ .-*--*-. / \ ;*""**""*: / `. :`. .'; .' \ `.`""'.' / `. `""' .' `.__.' >Funny Quotes America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. - David Letterman I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire, darn it: I'm a billionaire. - Howard Hughes After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. - Italian proverb When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip The best cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall Kill one man and you're a murderer - kill a million and you're a conqueror. - Jean Rostand Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have $50 million, but I'm just as happy as when I had $48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. - W.H. Auden In hotel rooms, I worry: I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical. - Arthur C. Clarke Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. - Steve Martin As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. - Robert Benchley When the white missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They said, 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land. - Desmond Tutu --- ...LMAO! These are Good Ones! Thanks Linda! ======================================================= >-->In The Worldly News: Where Trump Stands Right Now On His Campaign Promises http://rightalerts.com/where-trump-stands-right-now-on-his-campaign-promises/ The Meuller SCANDALS: The ‘Dirty Cop’ Running The Russia Collusion Probe [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/y7pnyjyj BREAKING: WikiLeaks Just Revealed Robert Mueller’s True Identity & It’s WORSE Than Ever Imagined http://tinyurl.com/y82vo63l SLEAZY! Fmr AG Lynch Scandal Deepens With Release Of NEW Email Evidence http://tinyurl.com/y9vxosr8 MORE DECEPTION UNCOVERED: Loretta Lynch Used Her Grandmother’s Name To Communicate With DOJ Officials http://tinyurl.com/y8buusqq WHAT A CROCK! Apple Sells Its Soul To China While Trashing Trump At Home http://tinyurl.com/y7amxkhj DWSGATE: Why Is A HIGH LEVEL Clinton Attorney Defending A Low Level IT Staffer [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/y7435m9d BLOCKBUSTER: Seth Rich Partied With Wasserman-Schultz’ Pakistani IT Guru On Night Of His Death http://tinyurl.com/y7rprz2l REVEALED: Obama Ordered The FBI To Do Something BEYOND BELIEF On Election Night http://tinyurl.com/yav3amvk JUDGE JEANINE WARNS: There Will Be An “Uprising” If Any Trump Family Members Are Indicted To Get Donald [VIDEO] http://tinyurl.com/y7orq8y2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: A Texas police officer staged his own death including a suicide note and an abandoned raft. The wife of 29-year-old Coleman Martin, an officer with the Austin Police Department, called police after receiving a suicide note from her husband via text message. The woman told police that her husband went out to "clear his head" before sending the handwritten suicide note. Detectives checked the couple's bank account and found that Martin had been to Home Depot, where he bought rope and concrete blocks. He also went to a sporting goods store where he bought a raft. After putting out a missing person alert, a trooper near Uvalde, Texas, said that around 6:00 p.m., Martin was pulled over. He told the trooper he was heading to Mexico for a vacation. His vehicle was found at a lake near the Mexican border the next day. The suicide note that he sent his wife, was found in the front seat of the vehicle. A raft was found on the shore of a lake a few miles away from where Martin's car was parked. Officials searched the lake for Martin's body, but found nothing. During their investigation, detectives discovered that Martin had a close relationship with another woman who was not his wife. When they questioned the mistress, she gave detectives proof that Martin was really alive and the whole incident was an attempt to fake his death. The woman showed investigators an email that Martin sent her after the alleged suicide. Martin was arrested and is now facing a misdemeanor charge of false alarm or report, police said. "People make mistakes and people have to answer to their mistakes. The association believes that Cole will have to answer to what he has done," Austin Police Association President Ken Casaday said. -<>- Stunts can be an easy way to get a little quick fame. I mean, look at the career of Johnny Knoxville. But for every instance that it goes right, there are an uncounted number of time that it goes wrong. Like the example in today's story. A man who wanted to become a famous comedian, thought it would be funny to rob a bank and give away the money while he was naked. However, the only thing 25-year-old Alexander Sperber became famous for is his arrest. Police in Florida, were called to a bank in Fort Lauderdale, after the young man came in, made a motion with his hand to indicate that he had a gun, and he demanded money. The teller handed Sperber a bag of money that contained $4,700. As soon as he left, a bundle of red dye exploded, leaving stains on his clothes and left wrist. Sperber then removed all of his clothes and he began running naked in the streets while throwing the money around. According to court documents, after his arrest, Sperber told FBI agents that when he woke up in morning, he "decided to rob a bank and run naked down the street while throwing the money to people in order to begin his career as a comedian." Sperber, who graduated from Lehigh University and is getting his master's degree at Florida Atlantic University, has no prior criminal history. He now faces 10 years in prison. *-------------- They'errrr GREAT! --------------* Police in Louisiana said they arrested a man accused of hiding about 2 pounds of marijuana in cereal boxes to smuggle it across state lines. The St. Tammany Parish Sheriff's Highway Enforcement Unit said a rental car with California plates was pulled over for speeding early Tuesday on Inter- state 12. The driver, Donald Roots-Scott Jr., told deputies his license was expired and there was marijuana inside the vehicle. Deputies found about 2 pounds of marijuana hidden inside cereal boxes in the suspect's back seat, the sheriff's office said. Roots-Scott, who allegedly told deputies he was taking the high-grade cannabis to Mississippi for distribution, was arrested on charges of exceeding the maximum speed limit, driving with an expired license and possession of schedule 1 controlled dangerous substance with intent to distribute. *------------ Just Like William Tell ------------* Doctors and paramedics in Canada, were shocked to see a teen- ager alive and well despite having a long arrow in his chest and protruding from his back. The Ontario Provincial Police said that they responded to the scene of the 19-year-old man who claimed accidentally shot himself while handling a bow and arrow. Something tells me he's lying. The 2-foot-long arrow went into his chest and part of it protruded from his back. The teen was alert and talkative when police and para- medics arrived. He told the first responders that the shooting was accidental. He was airlifted to hospital, where he was treated and released. Doctors were surprised at the minimal damage caused by the arrow despite being shot all through his body. One paramedic said that in his 20 years of service, he never saw such a case in which the injuries were so minimal. Hastings-Quinte Paramedic Services Chief Doug Socha said that the teen is lucky to be alive. *--------- What's With All the Nudity? ---------* A 34-year-old man was arrested twice for walking naked through downtown Lawrence, a suburb of Kansas City, causing a stir among the shops and restaurants. "Jaws dropped," says Sophie Milstein, a server at a local restaurant. "It was from a movie or something." According to police, Christopher Steven Carlson was first taken into custody at around 2 p.m. Sunday. He was cited for indecent exposure, fined $500 and released. Within minutes, photos started circulating on Snapchat and Facebook. An image of a bearded man walking nude was posted to the Facebook page Lawrence KS Community & Police Scanner. The police were called after a driver with Ground Transportation Services reported that he had taken a 34-year-old man from the Douglas County Jail to downtown. According to a police report, the driver said the man didn't have money to pay his fare, "took off his clothes and left the vehicle." Not everyone who witnessed Carlson's stroll was offended. "Our customers were not alarmed," says Meg Heriford, owner of Ladybird Diner. "It was more like, 'Hey, there's a naked guy.'" *---------- Just Like Cool Hand Luke ----------* Twelve inmates escaped the Walker County Jail in Alabama Sunday night after using peanut butter to cover a door number and trick a young jailer into inadvertently letting them go, Sheriff James Underwood said. The jail break happened about 6:30 p.m. Sunday. The jailer opened a door to the outside thinking it was a cell door, Underwood said, because the number had been covered with peanut butter. "Changing numbers on doors with peanut butter -- It may sound crazy, but these kinds of people are crazy like a fox." Underwood told a news conference. "He thought he was opening the cell door for this man to go in his cell, but in fact he opened up the outside door." The dozen inmates then scaled a 12-foot fence topped with razor wire after walking out. Some were cut and scraped, but none seriously injured. "Escapes happen," Underwood said. "We've got some evil people down here, and they scheme all the time to con us and our employees at the jail. You've got to stay on your toes. This is one time we slipped up. I'm not going to make any excuses." Of the 12, all but one was back in custody by Monday. "I thank the Lord today we have 11 people back in the jail," the sheriff said. Authorities had offered a $500 reward for information leading to the recapture of the last inmate. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Geniann :) /\ / \ _-| ,' \ _,m; | d| L _mdMP' | dM| | ,dMMMF | dMM| | dMMMMF .' ,MMM| |-'""`-./`QMM| | |MMMJ | | `.RP"| ,' |MMMMl |,-;'`. |\`.| ,/ ,d| |MMMM'\,',' \ | `.|'/,MMF |MP"` / / \ | | q/ _t| /,' _____ | /___ | ,' -' `.| | / _._\ |'|,m.)|<:_ ,' ,-'| | \ |MMMD `^"'.| `. | / | |__`>`''-'"".\ | | |,'____\ `---'_--'" ` / \ `. /-' |--._ .__--"' (, ) \ |-'\ | \\-. //`-' `. /| || || \ __// | / | >``--[ | \_-""".,/`._\ | ,' | |-' `\ ,' / ,' |,' | |,----..' ( /`. ' `. ||____|| `-' `. > `-..._|.m. _.m| / `.._.qMMMMMMMD CMMM| / `VML. `V' | VMML..___.,-' | | ,mmm._ /| | ,dMMMMP""``-.___,-' | | ,dMMMMP"' / _.- | dMMMMMMb | | | dMMMMMMMb. / | | ' `"qMM| `. | _,-` `M` `-.___.,^----' | `. | |' | .' `-_ _| | | | `-._____,-' `\_J |md| |MMb |MM| ,mmMMMMMMMUD |MMMMMMSmr. hjm `"qMMMMP"' `"""^^^^^" >SMILES After standing in line at the Dept of Motor Vehicles for what felt like eons, my brother finally got to the counter. As the clerk typed his name into the computer, she said, "That's odd." "What's wrong?" James asked. "My computer says you're deceased." Surveying his surroundings, James muttered, "Great. I died while waiting and I went to hell." ----------- When I was married I wondered why my husband spent a few minutes combing his hair before he came to bed. I finally asked and he said, "I want to make a good impression on the pillow." ----------- An elderly couple were in church. The wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, "I just let out a long silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replied, "Replace the batteries in your hearing aid." ----------- A high school history teacher was discussing the funeral of the Pope with his class. One student asked how they chose the new Pope. The teacher explained the process, finishing with, "So the Cardinals pick him." A student in the back of class, asked, very seriously, "Why would they let a football team pick the next Pope?" ----------- Two sisters wanted to get a new mattress for their mother's antique bed, as a gift. The problem was they weren't sure what to get, because the bed was an odd size. Fortunately, the blonde sister happened to be visiting their mother one day when her sister called home. "Measure the bed frame before you leave," sister two told her blonde sib. "I don't have a tape measure." replied the blonde. "You can use a dollar bill," suggested her sister. "Each one is six inches long." "I can't," the blonde sibling replied, after digging through her purse, "I only have a ten and a twenty!" ----------- A kid says to his girlfriend's father, "Mr. Scott, there's something I want to ask you." Mr. Scott says, "Young man, you have my full blessing. My daughter's happiness is all I want. You want to marry my daughter, right?" The kid says, "No, sir, that's not it. My car payment is due, and I'm a little short until payday, and I want to know if I could borrow fifty dollars until Friday." Mr. Scott says, "Heck, no! I hardly know you." --- ...Oh Gee! HaHa! Thanks Geniann! ======================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: /|_\|/_/| , ,--,-. . / ( O O ) \ | (___)' | |. , | / '-'\__,' | //|. \\\ \ ||| , `-'|\\ ||| ' ||| c D ' , c D UU ' '-' ' UU \ __ / __|| ||__ (___/ \___) [lf] A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver's license and has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. "Can you read this?" the optician asks. "Read it?" the Polish guy replies, "I know that guy!" -<>- The party's host paid me a great compliment. "You are a good-looking woman," he said. "Honest--I've had only one beer." My glow was only slightly dimmed when my husband inter- jected, "Imagine how great she'll look after two." -<>- I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. "Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked. "Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings." -<>- A wife asked her husband, "Honey, could you please run to the store and get a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen." A while later the husband returned with a case of quart milk cartons. Staring incredulously at the 12-pack case of milk, his wife asked, "Why the heck did you buy so much milk?" Her husband said, "They had eggs." -<>- __--^^-_ __--^^ __--^ __--^^___---^^^ _-^__--^^ __--^^-_ ,',-^ __--^^ __--^ /,' __--^^___---^^^ __----//_ _-^__--^^ _-^^-_--^~ ^-_ ,'_-^ ,' \ `. \ /,' ,' | _-^^-_. \ // / | ,' \ \ | | ## / / | | | | ## ,' / / | | /\ ,-^ / ## / | / ^---^ | ##,' / / | ,' / _-^ ^-___-^ ^^-_ _-^ _ \ _-^ __--^^ ,' / ,^-_ __--^^--___---^ | | ^-_ ,' / | ^-_ `, ,' / \ ^-_,' ,' / `. _-^ / ^-_ _-^ / ^-___--^/ /\ / / / / ___---^^| /.__---^^^ | ,.'/| | / |/ | __--T' /,;|__| __--^^ | / |_--^^ | i ' ,' | | . ,' | l / ^-_ | | _____ / ^-_| __--^^--_ l \ / . `. _-' _-^ ^-_ | \ / /| `-:___--T | ,' ^-_ l ' / | | | | ,' ^-_. | / | | | | ,' _-----_ \ l `. | | | |--^ ,' ^^--__/ |^-_ `l | | | ,' l\ `> | / | / | \ ,' | | \ / l ' | | \ ,' | | \ | _-^ \ /\ \ `. |---^^ \ / \ \ ^~~~) _-`.____/ \ `. ~~~~~) _-^`-_ )' ^~~~--------~~~^`-_ ~~~~) ,' ' ,'^-_ ') ^~~~^. ( _-^^-_ )' \ `-_ _-^ `-_ )' \ ^^--_____,' ' \ ( | `-_ _--' ^^--_____________---^^^ I was working in a scrap yard during summer vacation at engineering university. I used to work repairing construction equipment. One afternoon, I was taking apart a piling hammer that had some very large bolts holding it together. One of the nuts had corroded on to the bolt; to free it I started heating the nut with an oxy-acetylene torch. As I was doing this, one of the dimmest apprentices I have ever known came along. He asked me what I was doing. I patiently explained that if I heated the nut it would grow larger and release its grip on the bolt so I could then remove it. "So things get larger when they get hot, do they?" he asked. Suddenly, an idea flashed into my mind. "Yes," I said, "that's why days are longer in summer and shorter in winter." There was a long pause, then his face cleared. "You know, I always wondered about that," he said. -<>- When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents' private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were shopping a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!" -<>- My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle. An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup. Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy is she r-u-d-e!" "Yeah," he replied, "but I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l." -<>- As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but if that dog hadn't honked..." -<>- .ee._ , /$$$$$$e. '. /$$.$'$$$$$. \ |$/$$$$$$$$$\ ""--._|_ |/$'$$$$$$\"*' .ee. .-" _""*$$$$$$)"-' /$$$$ee/ A \|'-)"" \"**' |$$$$$/|/ '-e$* _\ \"-. /$$$$$|" $$.- ."\'\ \ '. |$$$$$|\ (_$/ / /.-"\ \ \, \ \$A/\|"-_"' -" '\ \ |/ \ /-"" " \--| / \ .-"""""- | || \ .-" |_|/ \ .' _.sjw. |/ | . | / .e$$$$$$$$) | / | \ | .e$$$$$$$$$$/ .-._/ | | \ \ \$$***$$/ ) \ / | | | \ '*( \/ ."__ \/ ,"| / | /"-._) "" \ .-"." / / | / -"/__. --./--".-" | / | | /../\ )--"" |. , / / \ """/| "-" , /\ /||\/ / "-.__.-" | | |\| /-, / / | \ ) | /| | |, \ . --"| / / / / \\ '.'-." / / / || \\ "" / .' /- |\ . \ . /." ".' |/\ \ . \ . / . / _.-' ' \ \ |\, |, /|/| /|,/__,7 \|\|\\\ |\|/ | |/ "V .-',' \ '-.\ V / V |-. "-.\ |" /_..--. ( /". | .--) V _A "-. \ "---""" ". ) ." '-.." " >Favorite Police Emergency Calls: Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Hi, is this the police? Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance? Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency? Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband Dispatcher: Nine-one-one Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn.... Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the police. -<>- A Swiss guy in New York is looking for directions, so he pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language." "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good." ========================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) Beautiful Wolves http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/wolves.html Amazing Football Facts http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/footballfacts.html Arrows Across America http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/arrows.html Attitude is everything 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/attitude3.html Fighter Aircraft http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/fighteraircraft.html Mabel The Chicken http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/chicken.html That's God! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thatsgod.html Sand Sculpture Art 3 http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/sandart3.html Amazing Bus Stops http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bus.html Elephant Rescue http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/elephants.html Jay Leno's Garage http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jaylenogarage.html -<>- >Please Visit/Follow Me On StumbleUpon: http://tinyurl.com/y9xze3jw -<>- >From AFA: During the week of August 7-11, American Family Association and Revival Fires International will host the 17th annual "Truth For Youth" Week across the nation. In a very effective and unique evangelism outreach, a "Truth For Youth" Bible (TFY), will be given to all teenagers who commit to give the Bibles to their unsaved friends in school. The TFY consists of the New Testament in the God's Word translation, along with 100 pages of powerful full color comic stories that are packed with "absolute truth" regarding issues young people are faced with, such as: Sexual Purity, Homosexuality, Abortion, Pornography, Evolution, Drugs, Drunkenness, Peer Pressure, School Violence and Secular Rock Music. We have also included BRAND NEW comic stories dealing with Honor, Suicide, Bullying, S#xting, Cutting, the Supernatural and Pluralism. God's wonderful plan of salvation is incorporated into each of the stories The Truth for Youth is now also available in Spanish! Get your free Bible here. http://tinyurl.com/y8nkkfva -<>- >From Our Friend LouiseAu :) Eduardo Galeano - Amazing Card Manipulation performs at the French television show 'The World's Greatest Cabaret' hosted by Patrick Sebastien http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXaCSOHJ4g0&feature=player_embedded Paraglider Pilot And Tourist Get Lost Inside Cloud Things start off pretty well but soon turn into a life or death situation for this pilot and tourist in Rio de Janeiro. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3UhPuN9K04 --- ...Wowsers! Thanks LouiseAu! ======================================================= >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "A rare fish normally found only in the Amazon was caught yesterday in a New Jersey pond. Researchers believe the fish got to New Jersey the same way as everyone else: by giving up." -Seth Meyers "Facebook has just added a new tool for finding help during disasters. Unfortunately, then Facebook shows you photos of your friends having a much better time during their disasters." -Conan O'Brien "A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashes than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving at 11 miles-an-hour." -Conan O'Brien "A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so-called 'New Yorker milkshake' which comes topped with whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the next topping you'll get is a coffin lid." -Seth Meyers "The owner of a clown motel in Nevada is looking to sell it. The clown motel is like any other motel, except it only has one parking spot." -Jimmy Fallon "A company has created a line of non-alcoholic wines for cats containing catnip, water, and organic beet juice for owners who want to drink with their pets. Said the cats, "Yeah, I'd love to, but I actually have a thing tonight.'" -Seth Meyers "You know those little robot vacuums called Roombas? The company that makes them says that Roombas have the capability to map out your home while they clean it, and it's planning to sell that information to Amazon and Google. We all thought that the Roomba was just vacuuming; turns out it was casing the joint." -James Corden "A Georgia man is facing charges after he tried to enter a Waffle House completely naked. Ugh. Can you imagine? Walking into a Waffle House barefoot?" -Seth Meyers "This was a little controversial: Pope Francis recently said that the majority of modern Catholic marriages are worthless because couples don't always mean it when they say they'll love each other forever. And that's the last time Pope Francis was ever asked to give a best man speech." -Jimmy Fallon "A five-year-old girl who ran a lemonade stand in London was fined $195 for not having the proper trading permit. See, this is why I make my kids open their lemonade stands off- shore on the Cayman Islands." -James Corden "According to Vanity Fair, the Queen of England has four alcoholic beverages every day, including a glass of champagne before bed. Champagne before bed? Who does she think she is, herself?" -Seth Meyers "A new study finds that George Clooney has the most handsome face because of his eyes, nose, chin, and mouth. In other words, he has the most handsome face because of his face." -Jimmy Fallon >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Christian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE:Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************