Jeopardy Question, Signs And More... :) Shangy! >Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com To UnSubscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Group home page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShangyFunList Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an adult club in the love and romance directory so you will have to confirm that you are an adult when you go here. I still have no idea how to change this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try! or Web Site: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/ShangyFunList.html Group email address: ShangyFunList@yahoogroups.com or email me here: bcrsystems@earthlink.net ================ >-->HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press :) This super red hot one will give you the willies! It comes from a forward from our friend KarenF and had all of us here going - EEeewww! Check it out here if you dare... | />\\//\\/>\ | /<\//\\//<\ \Y \> /> //\ />\ \> .;`'`/`;<\ ;/> /> \>/ \\: \> /> //: /> \> \> o o /> /> />\> \\ \> /> // /> \> \> \> oO Oo /> \\ \> /> // /> `;.;. . ( .. ) .;`;` \> \\ \> /> //: /> \\ \> /> // /> \> <\ \\ <\ \\ \> />// /> /`//\ <\ \\<\ \\ \> />///> _//\ \/ <\\\<\ \\\> />//> <\\<\ \\> \\( )// \\ // cjr 18oct99 Scientists Unveil New Species! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/newspecies.html --- ...Wowsers! Great science page! Thanks KarenF! ======================================================= >-->From TheFunnyBone: _.._ /` `\ | | Ice Cream Is Good For The Soul \._ _./ / `""""` \ | | Last week I took my children to a restaurant. \._ _./ My six-year-old son asked if he could say \ `""""` / grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is \## / good. God is great. Thank You for the food, \### / and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us jgs \##/ ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice \/ for all. Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream. Why, I never!" Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?" my son asked. "Cross my heart." Then in a theatrical whisper he added, indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing, "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes." Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already." ======================================================= *------- Even More Bizarre June Holidays -------* June 18 is International Panic Day June 19 is World Sauntering Day June 20 is Ice Cream Soda Day June 21 is Cuckoo Warning Day More Info on Cuckoo Warning Day June 22 is National Chocolate Eclair Day June 23 is National Pink Day June 24 is Museum Comes To Life Day ============================================================== ,-`"-=') =/////// ,== _,_(((((-`6\ ==.| /,,...\\\C _| .--. ((((\\\\\` _, /;_| )9 )))))./ `. / } _\,_ ,-'))) \ / /=-. ,-./ \/ '))) . /\_/ / \ (,-.%\ / /-' ') \/\ / ( \ (/ \ ' /( ' `-/ \( \ ,- / ( `-' \ . / / \ \ &_) /\ \ | ( /--.- \ \----,------=;% | _/ _); `. ` `-. .`\ ) +++/ \ ,," %&-. ; \\| `-` `-=.;_,.__.__\_,/ )_/___+_/_________\,"(_//_(__)______:-._) gpyy >-->Resume Mistakes How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some reportedly real life examples: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable." "Education: Curses in liberal arts, computer science, and curses in accounting." "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet." "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." "I am a rabid typist." "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side." "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one." "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers." "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemail." "Qualifications: No education or experience." "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!" Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!" ============================================================= >-->From CleanLaffs: ( ) ( /\ .-"""-. /\ //\\/ ,,, \//\\ |/\| ,;;;;;, |/\| //\\\;-"""-;///\\ // \/ . \/ \\ (| ,-_| \ | / |_-, |) //`__\.-.-./__`\\ // /.-(() ())-.\ \\ (\ |) '---' (| /) ` (| |) ` jgs \) (/ Joe, this is a true story, but the names have been changed to protect the chickens.... One night my newlywed husband and I were talking in bed. I had my arm behind his head and his pillow and as I flexed my elbow to get more comfortable, my hand flopped over inches above his face. My dear, strong, brave, heroic military husband who to my knowledge had never been afraid of anything evidently saw the slight movement near his face and thought he caught sight of the biggest spider ever. At this point my hubby screamed like a 6 year old girl, and jumped over MY body, out of the bed, and completely out of our bedroom without ever touching the floor. As I laid there, a little concerned, wondering if he had just lost his mind, he flipped on the bedroom light, flyswatter in hand, and asked ME to find the giant spider. After much confusion I finally determined that he had spotted my hand in front of his face and thought it was a tarantula hanging from the ceiling, about to get him. I almost didn't get to sleep that night between giggling and wondering what would happen if a real spider suddenly appeared. [Thanks to Donna and her arachnophobic husband.] ============================================================== >-->In The Worldly News: [Politics] 9-Year-Old Who Changed School Lunches Silenced By Politicians http://tinyurl.com/bwoljs7 -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley :) The Real Story Of Barack Obama http://goo.gl/vOguS Roberto Unger, Obama's Former Harvard Law School Professor, Says The President 'Must Be Defeated' http://goo.gl/KSAJP --- ...Most interesting! Thanks Wesley! -<>- >From Our Friend EdLaF :) NewsBusted 6/15/12 - YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7nR7hAQrPQ&feature=youtu.be National Pro-Life Alliance http://tinyurl.com/bn6nfkc Hawaiian Birth Certificates Sold to Foreigners At Time Of Obama Birth - Godfather Politics http://tinyurl.com/6pvd6k9 Top 10 FAILED Global Warming Predictions | EPA Abuse http://tinyurl.com/clb929e --- ...Thanks for the info EdLaF! -<>- >From Conservative Byte: Obama Violates Oath of Office http://tinyurl.com/bt4w3r4 -<>- >From TeaParty: Fusion Centers Closed to Freedom of Information Act Requests http://tinyurl.com/cbklby2 -<>- >From BizarreNews: Americans have a reputation for being overweight. Obese. Zaftig. Fat slobs, in other words. Unfortunately this reputation largely deserved. Fortunately we have escaped being the subject of the following story. It seems a poor Austrian woman of some considerable girth passed away recently and the family decided to cremate the body. As the temperatures in the crematorium reached 300 C (that is 572 F) the operators realized there was a problem. Her body fat was burning out of control. Thick black smoke started billowing out of the crematorium. The device was immediately switched off but by then the building had caught fire. Firemen, whose clothing was left covered with a layer of greasy black soot, eventually had to bring the fire under control by blasting water in through the vents used to clear the filter. A spokesman said that after reports of similar problems at other cemeteries not only in Austria but also in Switzerland, officials were now are considering a ban on larger bodies. That's one way to leave a legacy, I guess. *-- Shin-kicking Championships held in Britain --* CHIPPING CAMDEN, England - The judge of the Shin-kicking Championships in Britain said the sport is about more than just two men kicking each other below the knees. James Wiseman, who judged this year's Shin-kicking Champion- ships at the Cotswold Olimpicks, an event held in Chipping Camden, England, on-and-off since the 1600s, said the event is similar to wrestling, ITN reported Wednesday. "I kind of get quite annoyed when people think that shin- kicking is quite literally two guys facing each other and kicking each other as hard as possible in the shins," Wiseman said. "The easiest ways to describe it is it's a bit like wrestling but with a lot of contact below the knees. The idea is really to throw the person to the ground, but to throw the person to the ground you've got to unbalance by kicking them first." The winner of this year's event was Zac Warren, 23, of Pershaw, England. *-- Turtles unhappy after century together --* KLAGENFURT, Austria - Officials at an Austrian zoo said two 115-year-old turtles appear to be ending a romance that spanned more than a century. Helga Happ, head of the zoo in Klagenfurt, said the giant turtles, together since they were young, came to the facility from the Basel Zoo in Switzerland 36 years ago, the Austrian Times reported Monday. "But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out; they just can't stand each other," Happ said. She said the turtles, named BiBi and Poldi, had to be separated when Bibi bit off a chunk of her mate's shell. "We have staff talking to and trying to engage the two in interacting, and we hope that they might find their harmony again," she said. "We were told that it's very rare that after so many years animals who are a pair will fall apart, but that's where we are. We hope, though, we can [achieve] a reconciliation." *-- Bear knocks over peeing Swede on camera --* STOCKHOLM, Sweden - A 61-year-old Swedish man who was relieving himself in the woods was caught on tape being knocked over by a bear chasing an elk. Ola Akesson said he left his summer cabin in the Angraan nature reserve to urinate in a stream Sunday night when he spotted a baby elk on the opposite side of the water, The Local.se reported Tuesday. "I called to my wife to get out the iPad to film the elk, when all of a sudden she screamed that there was a bear behind me," Akesson said. "I turned around and there was a huge bear right beside me -- maybe half a meter away, I could have reached out and touched it -- but I didn't even have time to think." Akesson was knocked to the ground and the bear, which the couple said they believe was after the elk, barreled into the waterside dock before scrambling back into the woods. ========================================================= >-->From Our Friend Bunni :) >Hints: .-. | | |=| |=| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |=| jgs |=| |_| .=/I\=. ////V\\\\ |#######| ||||||||| ||||||||| ||||||||| Cleaning the Lint from under the Refrigerator If you need to clean the dust from underneath your fridge, simply slip a pantyhose leg over the end of the broomstick and secure it with a rubber band. Then run it back and forth along the refrigerator's underside. The dust clings to the nylon for easy pickup. This also will improve the air circulation around the fridge so it runs more efficiently. Handy Hints http://gopherarchives.gophercentral.com/Handy_Hints.aspx -- Use Rubber Glove Finger To Protect Bandages I cut my finger at work the other day and when we finally got it bandaged I wanted it protected from germs. I am in Nursing so we come in contact with lots of germs every day and I wash my hands multiple times. I got a rubber glove, cut off one finger of it and fit it over my bandaged finger. I then put tape all the way around the bottom of it to keep water and germs from getting in it. This works great for me but I do not recommend you keep it on more than 8 hours at a time. I changed mine when I got home and just left the band-aid on it. You don't want it to get infected and the best thing for a cut is air. So if you find yourself in a germ infested environment and need to protect a cut or wound that a glove finger will cover I highly recommend using my method. Years ago they had "finger cots" that served the same purpose. They are hard to find today. -- Removing Gunk from Curling Iron If you notice a hairspray buildup on your curling iron, unplug and let it cool. Then lightly dampen a cloth with rubbing alcohol and wipe the wand a couple of times until you can see it's clean. -- / / / / Coventry, England, 11 December 1998 __.__ / .-' `-. / _ / .' `. .' '._ / / / _.--._ \ ( )' .-'-. ; / \ | / '(._)--' (-'|'-) | | / | | / / / / O | | \_ _/ | / / . ' '=;-|-' | `--' / ______ . q|p | .' /' '\ .___. ( ) /| ._ `. | ,"""", | |"""| |""",.-"'"._ / | | `-. '. | | | | | | ,., '. | | `. \ '____' | | 3-| | | '. | | | / \ ' __ | | | | | | | | | ' ;| | | | 2-| | | | | | | / .@< ; ;| | | |~~~| | | | | >@ | | '(u) | || | | | 1-| | | | | (u)' / ~~~| |~~~~~~~~~| ||~~| |~| |~~| |~~~~| |~~~~~~~~ `--' '---'' '-' '-' '-' '-' )=;;') >';;=( ########################PjP#################################### Rainy Day Savers Save those plastic bags your newspaper comes in for a rainy day. They make great umbrella covers. Shove a bag in your purse or pocket before you leave the house. When you enter a car or building, take out the bag and slip your wet umbrella inside. -- Cleaning up spills on Carpet Another way to clean up vomit was discovered by my husband Don when he was the only one in the family not sick and decorating the carpet. He just threw a generous amount of kitty litter on it, let it dry completely, and vacuumed it up. Clean, no smell and no hard work. --- How to Get Burnt Food Off Cookware. [Tips & Warnings DO NOT USE ON NON-STICK COOKWARE!!!!!] Things You'll Need: Coke Stove Step 1 Okay, I was joking with the "you cooked again" comment. We have all done it. I am the world's worst about putting dried peas on to par-boil and forgetting about them. The smell when you let the water boil out ranks right up there with burnt popcorn! Don't fret! Step 2 Pour some coke into the pot/pan. Enough to cover the bottom about a 1/2 inch. Step 3 Turn the burner on high. Step 4 The Most Important Step DO NOT WALK AWAY!!!!!! That's why you are in this predicament in the first place! Step 5 Bring to a boil. Step 6 Cut the burner off. Step 7 Swish the coke around the pot/pan and pour out. Step 8 Clean as you normally would. For extra burnt on stains, let the coke sit longer and use some good old elbow grease when you wash it. Tips & Warnings DO NOT USE ON NON-STICK COOKWARE!!!!! --- ...Great Tips! Thanks Bunni! =========================================================== >-->From our Friends Linda And Bunni :) __)(__ _____/ \\_____ | _ ___ _ || | | \ | | \ || | | | | | | || | |_/ | |_/ || | | \ | | || | | \ | | || | | \. _|_. | . || | || | name goes here || | || * | * ** * ** |** ** \))ejm97/.,(//,,..,,\||(,,.,\\,.((// >Jeopardy Question: On Jeopardy, the final question was "How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns" All three contestants missed it! This is really an awesome sight to watch if you've never had the chance. Very fascinating. Tomb of the Unknown Soldier 1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why? A: 21 steps: It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary. 2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why? A: 21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1 3. Why are his gloves wet? A: His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle. 4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and, if not, why not? A: He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder. 5. How often are the guards changed? A: Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year. 6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to? A: For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10' and 6' 2' tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30. They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin. The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt. There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror. The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery . A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred. Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe Lewis {the boxer} Medal of Honor winner Audie L. Murphy, the most decorated soldier of WWII and of Hollywood fame. Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty. ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM. In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off in anticipation of the storm. On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a service person. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930. God Bless and keep them. --- ...Wow! I had no idea! Thanks Linda And Bunni! Most of this is true - but it is a mixture - check it out here.. http://www.snopes.com/military/unknown.asp Arlington National Cemetery: Changing of The Guards http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rvd52SUJ6RQ&feature=related ============================================================== >-->From CleanLaffs: ,``'.' / \ \ \ / \ | | ''''''.| | | `````'` | | | /'''' - (| | | /'``` . | | | / ''''' / ./ / '```` / |/ / ''''`| \/ / ' |` / / / /| /| | / '. || | ) ++ | \ | | | | \ .. \ _/ \ [It's getting close to golf season...just a few more weeks. So it's time to start getting used to the golf jokes again!] Bill and Bob, longtime golfing buddies, were involved in a match-play contest with the score "all-square" at the 18th tee. Bill slices his tee shot way left, and the ball finally stops on the cart path. Meanwhile, Bob smashes his first shot straight down the middle. "Oh well," says Bill, "I should get a free drop from there." "Heck no," says Bob, "We play the ball as it lies." And so Bill did. After dropping his opponent on the middle of the fairway, Bill took the golf cart to his lie on the concrete path. Sparks fly from the cart path, as Bill makes a few aggres- sive practice swings. Finally, Bill hits the ball off the cart path, leaving a miraculous shot only 3 feet from the pin. As the two meet in the fairway, Bob comments, "That was a great shot...what club did you use?" "Your 6 iron," says Bill. -<>- An attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced: "I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners." When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight." Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!" -<>- One Sunday, after church, Mom asked her little daughter what the Sunday school lesson was about. Her daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilts." Needless to say, Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said, "Be not afraid, thy Comforter is coming." -<>- _______ /______/"=, [ | "=, "=,, [-----+----"=,* ) (_---_____---_)/ (O) (O) Emiliano Over dinner, my wife said to me, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" I asked, very concerned. She said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car." -<>- A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said "Chopsticks were provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chop- sticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks." "True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess." -<>- While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, La., my son and namesake was also serving there. His two-month-old son, whose name was the same as ours, was receiving medical treatments at the base hospital. I went on sick call one morning, and as the doctor reviewed my file, he looked at me in disbelief. "Are you Curtis E. Chaffin?" he asked. When I answered yes, he told me, "It says here that you turn blue when you cry." --by Curtis E. Chaffin, Sr. -<>- .-. __/ ( , '-.____\ u=='/ \ /_/ \ .-'' | ( ____/_____ _>_/.-------- \/// // snd // It was October 2000. Our daughter Taiessa was just over 2 1/2 years old. We were downstairs in the crawl space looking through some boxes. She asked me what was in one of the boxes. "That's a box of computer stuff." I stated. "My puter?" she said missing the first syllable. "COMputer" I said stressing the part of the word she missed "Say COM-puter." "COM-puter, COM-puter, COM-puter," she repeated with perfect syntax. I was just starting to congratulate myself for correcting her vocabulary so easily when she turned to me and said: "Daddy, my puter's not coming!" [Thanks to Trevor & Karen Lund for this one.] -<>- A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads: "Here lies Shirley, wife of Morris Rosen, L. L. D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigracion Legal Services " Suddenly, Morris bursts into tears. His brother says, "You SHOULD cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's tombstone !" Through his tears, Morris sobs, "You don't understand! They left out the phone number!" -<>- Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men said that would cost an additional $45 service fee, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them my fee: $45. -<>- ,-----. W/,-. ,-.\W ()>a a<() (.--(_)--.) ,'/.-'\_/`-.\`. ,' / `-' \ `. / \ / \ / `. ,' \ / / `-._.-' \ \ ,-`-._/| |=|o |\_.-< <,--.) |_____| |o____| )_ \ `-)| |// _ \\| )/ || |' | `| || | | | || ( )|( ) || | | | || | | | || |_.--.|.--._| || /'""| |""`\ [] `===' `===' hjw A old man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves three pennies for a tip. As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves." The man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?" "Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man." Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmm, true enough." "And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor." Surprised at her perception, he says, "That's true, too." "And the third penny tells me that your father was also a bachelor." ============================================================= >-->From the Mouth: : ;; / | / | .' : .-' ' _.-' / .-*" / _ .-' .' _.-*?' .' .' .-" .' __ .' , .-' .-+. .' _.-*".' / \ .-' _.--**""**-. .-' _.y-:-" .' : `+. .*""*. `. :-. -. \ .' ; .--*""*--. / __ ` _.--. \ |$| -.` -.;/ _.-+. : .' :*" "*..*" y`-' $| ;*" _( \ / +----/ / .'.-'---+ .-._.+' `. -'_.--. :- "_( `*-: | \/\/\/ | /) ` .'___ ' "_( ; `._| | \ )` .'.' `./_" ( : \| | (`._..--**" : .- ; `"' \ | | `----**"T"" " `+. | `. | | ' .' : _.-*"*- | | / / ' .-*" _ | | __..-'\ / bug "+,'___..--| |--**"" `-.__.' "" +----------------+ >-------------- Real Signs In Shop Windows --------------< Signs In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks." In the window of an Oregon general store: "Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?" In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves." On a Tennessee highway: "Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable." From the safety information card in America WestAirline seat pocket: "If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member." On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship." On a delicatessen wall: "Our best is none too good." -<>- |\/\ ,. / `' |,-, / /_ _/ / (.-,--. / /o/ o \ / \_\ / _/ (__`--' _) / | (_____,' \ \_ _\_ `._..-' `._ / ,' `. .'| / \ |_| | | || |______| |/ | |\ / | | \ / | | \ `. | | \ ( `-.._____| |---i `. _| | / | (_ \ | | | | | |_)| `-+--f--`-^-'--' | | | | | | | | _,(`--'), | | .-' `--'_t(`--'), / .-' `--' | `-..___/ (_)| hjw `-.._____..-' Late Show Top Ten Top Ten Messages Left On Barack Obama's 2008 Answering Machine 10. "Hi, it's Eliot Spitzer — let's get some girls and celebrate." 9. "John McCain here. I... uh, crap, I forgot why I called." 8. "Hi, this is Al Gore. Don't make the same mistake I did and win the popular vote." 7. "It's John McCain again. What is this, some kind of machine that answers the phone?" 6. "This is John Kerry; are you interested in a subscription to Sports Illustrated?" 5. "You've just made a powerful enemy of the Pantsuit Manufacturers of America." 4. "Hi, it's Randy Jackson. Your last speech? A little pitchy, Dawg." 3. No number 3 — writer stuck on plane with Scott McClellan. 2. "Hillary calling; I'm still prepared to offer you the vice president position." 1. "Oprah here: I helped you get the nomination, now will you help me get rid of Dr. Phil?" ============================================================= >-->FUN Places To Net Visit :) We've All Been There! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/catbox.html Life's Little Oops 11! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/whoops11.html Maxine On The Economy! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/maxineeconomy.html Jobs That Suck! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/jobs.html Undersea Restaurant http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/undersea.html Unusual Photos! http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/unusual.html Strange Tombstones http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/tombstones.html Rotating Skyscrapers http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/skyscraper.html -<>- >From Our Friend Linda :) Parachute laughs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC5yR0k9a9Q --- ...LOL! Thanks Linda! -<>- >From Our Friend Wesley! ripped : cube creator http://goo.gl/hHC80 ============================================================== >-->Quotes & Thunkers: "I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting." - Mark Twain "Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love." - Leo Tolstoy "I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on." - Oscar Levant "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'." --Homer Simpson, philosopher "When I'm driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I'm not afraid of small children." --Jonathan Katz "Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will." --Homer Simpson, epicure "The only exercise program that has ever worked for me is occasionally getting up in the morning and jogging my memory to remind myself exactly how much I hate to exercise." --Dennis Miller "Well, I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler. I wanna be a league bowler!" --Homer Simpson, sportsman "I asked this one girl out and she said, 'You got a friend?' I said yes, she said, 'Then go out with him'" --Dom Irrera "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things...like love!" --Homer Simpson, capitalist Why in America do we have a general in charge of the post office, and a secretary in charge of defense? They say that love makes the world go around, but then so does a good swallow of tobacco juice. You know you are a college student when you collect Taco Bell sauce to use as "salsa" on your chips and frozen burritos. "There ought to be an FAA requirement that crying babies have to go into the overhead compartment." --Bobby Slayton "I'm with a group of scientists and we're finding a way to neutralise radiation, believe it or not." - "Material girl" MADONNA who advocates a grreener Earth. Sign seen on a plastic surgeon's window: "Come in and pick your nose!" "Animal Control discovered a woman here in New York with 50 cats in her two-bedroom apartment. That's insane. I mean, how can a crazy cat lady in New York afford a two- bedroom apartment?" - Jimmy Fallon "Obama's overseas trip has been such a disaster that people in Kenya now claim that he has an American birth certificate." - Jay Leno "If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as getting." - Benjamin Franklin >Updated FUN STUFF URLS - Oh Yeah :) Shangy! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/urls.html FUN URLS ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->BECOMING A CHRISTIAN HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->FULL LENGTH - FREE On line AUDIO MP3 Chriistian Foundational Class http://www.truthortradition.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=61 NEW LIFE IN CHRIST! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -->This is for all you who love food and DARRE to make it at home Yep. You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy, good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :) Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html Home Recipes >Got A good Recipe? SHARE IT HERE: Share A Recipe ************************************************************************ >TO SUBSCRIBE: Visit Here This Weeks regular Shangy emails OR For the Yahoo ShangyFunList: To Subscribe send a blank email to ShangyFunList-subscribe@yahoogroups.com ************************************************************************